The Heart has its Reasons
by Tracy2
Summary: As everyone's lives calm down it is a time for reflection and rejoicing. STORY COMPLETE. Thank you for reading.
1. Chapter 1

**The Heart Has its Reasons**

**By Tracy2**

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction, written, and hopefully read, strictly for enjoyment. The main characters of Mark, Steve, Amanda, and Jesse, as well as Alex, Cheryl, Captain Newman and Chief Masters and any others that you recognize are from the series Diagnosis Murder, and as such are the property of CBS/Viacom. All new characters, especially Detective Reagan Yeager, her family, Jo/Texas Walters, and Martin Robertson are mine.

This story carries on from Home is Where the Heart Is, which is on the R page. As always I had the help of my three wonderful beta readers who encouraged me, gave me a little push in the right direction when I wandered and were right there when I needed them. Ladies, as always I thank you from the bottom of my heart, this wouldn't have been as enjoyable without you.

This story is complete. I won't be able to post daily, like I used to due to work commitments, but I will post regularly two or three times a week.

**01 Remembering the Past and Planning for the Future**

The months since Rae and Jesse's Christmas party had been a mix of the fulfilling and the frustrating. The strength that everyone got from each other had been tested and reinforced but it had been those usually providing the support that had needed it the most.

Rae and Jesse had found each other again, their time apart seemingly bringing them closer together as each of them realised just how much they had missed the other. The vacation that Texas had suggested the Travis's take while Rae was recuperating from her near fatal gunshot wound had been a great success and she and Jesse had made a pledge that they would go away at least once a year with the girls and once without them.

It had always been clear to Jesse and Rae that their daughters needed to spend time with both parents, but because of the nature of their jobs that didn't happen as much or as often as they would wish. Anneya was gradually forgetting what the hearing world was like and, whilst in some ways her parents were relieved that she no longer looked as confused and upset as she had done on her return from the hospital after the accident which had robbed her of her hearing, they were concerned that she was becoming introverted and quite shy.

Eliana, who could never be accused of being shy, had blossomed even more under the watchful and adoring eyes of both parents. She had gone with Rae into a Barnes and Noble bookstore and while Rae had been looking for something for herself had pulled down two alphabet books off a shelf and proceeded to go through all the letters almost entirely unaided. Rae, unable to help herself, had bought not only those two books but also three other basic reading books and, over the course of the next three months, had begun to teach her daughter the rudiments of reading to the point where not only could she recognise her own name but also common words such as the, as, and but.

The abilities of their eldest daughter had put the limitations of their youngest into sharp profile and they had enrolled her in some pre-school classes at the Footprints in the Sand Centre where they had already signed up for some sign language courses themselves.

Both Jesse and Rae had decided independently that things must never be allowed to get back to the situation where Jesse had left and Rae had been unable to reach him. He had continued to see Lauren on a monthly basis, discussing any fears that reached the surface, as well as any everyday occurrences that stirred up unpleasant memories.

The addition to their household of Vicki had enabled them to have more of a social life and, apart from spending time with their children which would have previously been used up on household chores, they were also able to go out, either as a couple, or with Steve and Jo, and enjoy some of the facilities that a city such as LA had to offer.

Rae had kept some problems from Jesse, the main one being her almost overwhelming fear of returning to work. She too had been seeing Lauren and gradually, over a period of eight or nine visits between leaving the hospital and the start of her vacation, had begun to approach that part of her future with the same positive attitude that she had for the rest of her life.

Jo's pregnancy had progressed exactly as it should, and she had been able, for the most part, to push the fears about pre-eclampsia to the back of her mind. She knew that it wouldn't be an issue until the later stages anyway and so she had enjoyed the feeling of the child growing inside her, talking away to it, guiding both Steve and Daniel's hands so that they could feel it as it moved around, kicking and pushing knees and elbows out to make its presence felt.

As Jo had relaxed though, Steve had got more and more uptight. It wasn't the fact that his wife was expecting his first natural child that was concerning him, that he was, in a worried, over-protective sort of way, enjoying. What was eating at him was his inability to catch the Red Rose Killer. It had become personal when one of his waitresses had become a victim, but the day he had been unable to caress his own wife's hair, been unable to buy her red roses any longer, it had started to burrow away inside of him, and now, although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, it was invading his dreams and increasing his feelings of inadequacy by the day.

A week after the end of her family vacation Rae had boarded a plane to New York to check into the claims made by Rachael Collins that the Red Rose Killer had murdered a young woman in the Big Apple. Steve had been standing in for Captain Newman and so, although he had wanted to go, it had been decided that he would stay in Los Angeles.

She had been home for four months since the February visit and, although thankfully there had been no more killings, she had also travelled to Florida and Colorado to view photos of, and files on, victims there. It had been the New York trip though which had set off the trains of thought that she was still exploring, and although Rae knew it was frustrating she also knew that, little by little, she was learning more and more about their killer. The trip had put things into perspective for Rae too, helping her to make decisions on her own future as well as that of the case she was handling. It hadn't been easy, going to a strange city all alone, but thanks to a friendly colleague and her own deep desire to catch the Red Rose Killer, once she got started working everything had gone just fine.

_Rae stood at the bottom of the short set of steps to the __Central Park__ precinct and took a deep breath. She had paced the block in front of the station twice now, trying to calm herself, hoping that she could begin to understand why she was so scared and why she felt safer on the snow covered sidewalk than she did on the steps. Making the trip across country on her own hadn't worried her too much and she had passed the time on the plane by reading through the letters from Victoria to Elle that Texas had copied for her. The trip into the past had fascinated and absorbed her and the flight had quite literally flown by._

_Then the plane had touched down and, ever since, she had been a bundle of nerves. Taking herself in hand she made her way up towards the brown doors, holding tightly to her purse, and stepped inside._

_The interior of the station was a surprise. Rae had been bought up on Kojak and expected the station to be brown, dingy and not very clean, instead she found herself in a brightly lit temporary precinct house with a notice up apologising for the inconvenience caused while the original building was being remodelled. Somehow the unexpectedness of it all had calmed her, and she was able to walk up to the desk sergeant with a smile._

_"Hi, I'm Detective Reagan Yeager, LAPD; I'm here to see Detective O'Connor." Rae took the seat indicated by the young man behind the desk and looked around her. She guessed that the station wasn't that different to her own after all. Smaller, but just as crowded, the posters were the same, but they had a feeling of transience, as if, at any moment, the entire thing could be packed up and taken back to where it belonged. _

_She noticed two interview rooms just off to the left of where she was sitting, the blinds pulled down and 'in use' stuck up on the doors. Next to them a large sheet of paper with a chart on it showing how the renovation of the other precinct house was going was prominently displayed. From what Rae could see there was at least another two to three years work to be done before the packing and moving could take place in reverse._

_For a while Rae tried to picture what it would be like to have to move everything from her precinct into temporary premises and she realised that now she was actually sitting inside she could imagine herself doing the same in LA. She guessed that it had just taken a push to get her back on the road to where she belonged._

_"Detective Yeager?"_

_"Yes, that's me. Oh, hi." She stood up and found herself face to face with a very beautiful, very blonde, female cop about the same age as herself._

_"You were expecting someone else?" Detective O'Connor smiled as she extended her hand._

_"No, yes, I'm sorry, I must appear very rude, but I expected a man." Rae could feel herself blush as she spoke._

"And you a lady cop called Ray, I'm shocked! I guess it goes with the name, most people think I'm a man but Charlie is short for Charlotte."

_"Um, yeah, I guess so, that's short for Reagan by the way." Not wanting to admit that she hadn't even noticed the Christian name of the cop she would be meeting she smiled and explained her own name instead. _

_"I'm sorry about the weather." _

_"Oh, no, I love it. I haven't seen snow for a long time, this is just wonderful."_

_"Yeah, it's neat isn't it? You wait until we go into the park, it'll blow you away." Charlie smiled, and Rae realised that she was going to enjoy her job once again._

An hour later Rae put the details of the victim who had brought her to New York down on the desk. Rachael Collins had been right, there was no doubt in Rae's mind, this was a Red Rose killing. "She has to be the first victim, or the first one we know about who died, at any rate. What was found out about her?" Rae had the initial report from the patrolman open in front of her, along with the file she had read on the plane containing the personal details of Nicholas Large from when he had been arrested on assault charges.

_"How do you know she's the first?" Charlie O'Connor was sitting, a steaming cup of coffee in front of her, watching the woman on the other side of her desk as she read through the notes._

_"Well, I guess I don't, but it's sloppy, compared to what we have in LA, and what he's done elsewhere." Rae was silent for a moment as she looked at the dates on the two sets of information and was shocked to see that the young woman had been killed when their suspect should still have been in jail. _

_"He was back on the streets in a year, how can that be? He should have gotten longer than that." _

_"Let me see, it's a while since I read all this through." Charlie picked up the file and flicked through to the extra information in the back. "Ok, the notes I wrote here say that __since he had no history of violence, and there had been no real physical injury, he was held for psych evaluation, and once he was found competent, he pleaded it down to a class A misdemeanor, and was out again with just a slap on the wrist. Did less than a year combined for the observation and the sentencing."_

_"He went after this woman with a pair of scissors on a subway train and he got a slap on the wrist. Jeez, sometimes I wonder why we bother." Rae shook her head and then ran her hand through her hair, "I'm gonna just love telling Steve all this."_

_"Well, initially he was busted for second degree assault." Charlie felt as if she had to defend her department._

_"Assault with a deadly weapon, because the scissors are dangerous, right?"_

_"Exactly; it was the public defender who got the judge to send him for a psych evaluation. Apparently the guy just wanted the woman's long blonde hair." Charlie shuddered, and unconsciously moved her own hair behind her shoulders. "Can you believe that?" _

_"Oh, yeah, this guy is a trophy taker." _

_"He takes their hair?" Charlie looked scandalized and Rae began to explain. _

_"Yep, part of his ritual is to take things from his victims, that isn't uncommon." Rae paused as she saw her new companion nod her head, "For this guy the main thing is her hair."_

_"I knew it; I just knew this guy was a nut case. I tried to talk them out of copping a plea, but did they listen, oh no, I'm just a lousy cop, I don't know the type, I just arrest them." Charlie saw the look of agreement and sympathy on Rae's face and smiled. "I'm not telling you anything you don't know already am I? She wasn't hurt, not physically anyway, and he didn't actually get her hair so he pleads down to third degree assault, maximum penalty one year. Then they took his time in psychiatric lock up off of that. He spent nine months inside. What? What did I say?" Charlie had seen a spark in Rae's eyes, and she leant across the desk towards her._

_"He saw a shrink; he was locked up and saw this guy. I need to see him too." Rae smiled, if she could get some more background on their killer maybe she could work out what his next move would be and catch him before he killed again._

It hadn't worked out quite that way, she had got some interesting information, but Nicholas Large, Dominic Little, whatever he was calling himself these days, was still out there, and until he was caught Rae knew that neither Steve or herself would be able to move on with their own careers.

The following day, before Rae saw the shrink she went to Central Park with Charlie and although the visit was for serious reasons she still had tucked away some memories of the places she had been, places where she would like to go again one day when she had the time, maybe on one of the vacations she and Jesse had talked about.

_Central Park__ looked like a Christmas card as she carefully made her way along a cleared path; the snow banked slightly either side of her. She felt her foot slide from underneath her and grabbed at Charlie; a stab of pain reminding her that it wasn't that long since she had been injured._

_"Arghhh, sorry."__ Rae let go of the other detective and attempted to straighten up, wrapping an arm around herself as she did so._

_"Rae, are you ok?" Charlie looked worried as she realised that her companion was ashen._

"Yeah … I'm sorry. I just got off medical leave, I was shot at Thanksgiving."

_"You should have said; we could have given this a miss."_

_"No, it's one of the reasons I came, besides, I'm getting fed up with being an invalid."_

_"I know what you mean; I was wounded when I was in uniform, drove my mom mad sitting around the house during the day picking holes in all the cop shows she used to watch. I don't know who was happier when I went back to work, her or me!"_

_"We make lousy patients, almost as bad as doctors." Rae smiled._

_"Well, you would know more about that than me." _

_Rae had told Charlie all about her marriage to Jesse, how they had two young children, one of whom was deaf. They had spent a very pleasant time together the previous evening and Rae hoped that the two of them would remain in touch when she returned to LA._

_They walked in silence for a little while, and Rae had known that Charlie was keeping a close eye on her, making sure that they were in the middle of the paths where the wintry sun had begun to dry out the asphalt. Finally, she paused and placed her hand on Rae's arm._

_"We're a couple of minutes away now. I don't know that he brought our victim this way, but I thought you might want to look around a little more as we get closer."_

_Rae smiled, "Thank you." She did look, the trees were almost magical all around her and it was difficult to remember that it had been the early summer when the young woman had been found. "This is quite a wide walkway, mind you; all your paths and roads are wider than I was used to in __England__. But this looks like it would be a popular route." They weren't the only ones out in the park by any means; in fact Rae had been surprised how busy it was. Just in front of her was a man painting a picture of the snowy scene; he had an easel up, with a canvas resting on it. Rae could see the pinks and blues in the sky being added to the white background and, for a moment the two women had stopped walking and watched, with a few other people, as the artist carried on, oblivious to all but the small area of the world that he was interested in._

_"It is. The Loeb Boathouse is one of the sights of the park; you can hire boats, bikes, even gondolas there."_

_"Really, wow, how romantic."__ Rae smiled, she hadn't seen much of the rest of America since she had lived in LA, it would be nice to travel to some of the cities with Jesse and her girls, to see the things that she saw on the television or read about in magazines. "So, if Dominic came along here with our Jane Doe he would probably have just melted into the crowds, a good looking guy out with a beautiful woman."_

_"How do you know she would be beautiful?"_

_"All his victims were. Blonde, leggy and beautiful. If you are the most stunning woman in the world but you have brown hair, or blonde hair which isn't natural, you don't stand a chance with our Dom, he only goes for the real thing." Rae had decided that she would carry on calling him Dominic, he had been that at the start, and would remain that way until they caught him. "I hate to say it, but you would be just his_ _type." Rae knew that Charlie would be a little old for Dominic, but she decided not to add that nugget of information._

_"Oh, well, gee thanks, he wouldn't be the first freak I've dated, though I don't suppose I would want him to be the last. There, look you can see the boathouse now." Charlie pointed forward and there in the distance was a white building, which, Rae had to admit, she would never have guessed was a boathouse._

_"Where?"__ Rae turned back to Charlie, not sure she was looking in the right direction, "What that place? It looks like a restaurant."_

_"It is, wanna coffee?" Charlie looked at Rae's face and laughed, "Don't tell me, you were expecting something little and sort of brown."_

_"Well, yeah, I was actually, and a drink would be nice, hot chocolate maybe?"_

_"Sure, follow me." Charlie had begun walking again, and Rae did follow, watching a little enviously as a horse-drawn carriage went past and she vowed to come back with Jesse and do all the touristy things that she wished she was doing right now._

_The hot chocolate had been a nice interlude, and sitting watching the sights and sounds of the park while she drank it had been even nicer. Once they had finished though, the atmosphere became a little more serious as the two of them visited the crime scene._

_The scene amongst the reeds of __Central Park__ had been almost surreal. The edge of the lake was frozen and a pair of ducks had been skating across it in a most disgusted manner, a little further over were two swans, huddled together, their beautiful plumage showing the snow to be a greyish white instead of the pure colour it had looked until that moment. Rae had seen a squirrel watching her from a tree as she stood waiting for Charlie to finish a private call, taking in the beauty of a park which could be in the middle of nowhere but was in fact in the middle of a bustling metropolitan city. As she had stood there, her eyes on the grey squirrel whose eyes were on her she was transported back to when she was a little girl, maybe four or five years old. Her mother had taken her to the park, it had been early spring and she had on a new coat that had only been finished the day before. She knew that the material was as grey as the squirrel with a pink line through it here and there._

_Rae had sat on a park bench, her legs swinging back and forth, encased in thick black tights and lace up shoes. She didn't know why she remembered the tiny details but she did, and a smile played on her lips as she saw her mother in her mind putting the small block of ice cream into a cornet and then carefully folding the wrapper up and leaving it the other end of the bench. For a moment she wondered whether her own daughters would ever get to eat ice cream on a cold day._

_The two of them had sat there in silence, Rae eating her special treat, her mother holding her hand and, after about five minutes, it happened. A squirrel had come darting down a nearby tree, round and round the trunk, checking all its exits. It stopped as it reached the ground, again its little head darting this way and that before it rushed to the bench, up the leg and onto the seat. It stopped again, and Rae remembered not daring to breathe as the little grey animal, still looking around itself all the time, picked up the paper, rushed back the way it came and then sat on a branch just above their heads, opened the paper up and ate the ice-cream off of it._

_"Sorry about that, I play squash on Sunday evenings, my partner just cancelled out on me." Charlie had pushed her phone back into the pocket of her warm sheepskin jacket and blew on her hands._

_"No problem, I could happily stay here all day thanks to you lending me a coat." The thick red woollen fleece was definitely keeping the cold out and was very comfortable and, as she had walked along, her hands in her pockets, Rae realised that it was the first time she had needed to wrap up warm for over five years._

_"Ok, from the details in the file this is the place where our victim was found. Quiet, and in a busy place like Central Park if you are gonna kill someone and spend time with her while doing it you need it to be quiet."_

_Rae nodded her head as she looked around. She could hear voices, the sounds of laughter, but they were just far enough away to be unobtrusive, to be a pleasant background on a cold and beautiful day and she began to think aloud. "You know, all of the places where he has left a body, except one, are quiet locations near a busy one. I'd never realised that before." Rae was silent as she went back over the women who had died in LA in her mind. The prostitute, whose name escaped her for the moment, she had been different to the others, thrown down an embankment, and she had hair with her, that still bothered Rae, but she didn't know why._

_"Ok, so that is part of his signature then, the place he chooses to kill his victims. Even in a popular place like this there are far more secluded spots."_

_"Oh, yeah, wanna tell me about it?" Rae smiled; there was no reason not to. The victim had been dead a long time; there was no body here to be respectful of._

_"Ha, ha.__ You work this close to the park you do **not** want to spend your leisure time in it."_

_"No, I guess not. We'd better make our way back, thank you, Charlie, she, whoever she was, has given me some more insight into our killer, and I have to admit I didn't think she would do that." Rae looked back for a moment at the snowy scene they were leaving and hoped that the __New York__ victim had found a peaceful place for herself for eternity._

The following day Rae sat in the waiting room of Doctor Cornelius Brown and went over what it was that she wanted to ask him. The murder scene from the previous day had set her mind going at full pelt, and she hadn't slept very well again, the noise of her thoughts together with the sounds of the streets conspiring to keep her awake.

_Rae looked around her, apart from the fact that the posters on the walls were of New York and not LA, and the office wasn't in a hospital; there was very little difference from this waiting room and the one she sat in when she visited with her therapist, Lauren Yung. _

_"Detective Yeager, Doctor Brown will see you now." The young woman, who was sitting in a smaller office looking through a glass panel at the waiting room, smiled as she finished speaking and then indicated with her hand. "If you go through that door he will be waiting for you."_

_"Thank you." Rae stood up; picked up the red fleece she was still using and made her way through the door as she had been told. A little way down a cream and terracotta coloured hallway stood a middle-aged man, slightly balding with his glasses on a chain around his neck._

_"Detective Yeager?"__ The voice wasn't unfriendly and Rae nodded her head as she extended her hand towards the doctor._

_"Yes, that's me, thank you for seeing me at such short notice." Rae wasn't sure what she would actually be able to get from the visit; doctor-patient confidentiality was a difficult thing to gauge and Rae knew that different doctors interpreted it in different ways. She just hoped that the man now showing her into his office would be generous with his information._

_"Can I get you a drink, Detective, maybe a coffee, or a tea?"_

_"No, thank you, I'm fine." Rae smiled as she made herself comfortable in the deep horseshoe shaped brown leather chair on the patient side of the desk._

_"You said, over the phone, that you wanted to talk with me about a client that I had almost five years ago. I have retrieved the details on Mr. Large, but you must know that there is a question of privacy here."_

_"Yes, Sir, I know that, but I hope after you hear what I have to say you will feel able to let me know at least a little of your observations about this man." Rae watched as Doctor Brown nodded his head and then began to explain the reasons why she was there._

_After she had finished explaining the details of the Red Rose Killer to Doctor Brown Rae had sat back in silence letting him take in the information she had given him. The folder that she had brought with her contained basic notes on each murder plus some of the newspaper clippings and a few photos which had been released by the LAPD for the press should they want to use them._

_"And you're sure that this killer, this Dominic, is really Nicholas Large, you are absolutely sure?"_

_"Yes, Sir, we are. We have a print, there is no doubt that Dominic Little and Nicholas Large are one and the same."_

_"I see." The room was silent again, but then Doctor Brown leant over and picked up his telephone. "Ann-Marie, could you please move my next two appointments back an hour each and cancel the rest of my clients for today, thank you." He replaced the receiver and looked back at Rae. "You heard the instructions I gave to my secretary; I_ _think you and I have a lot to talk about."_

_"You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that." Rae had smiled and taken her notebook out of her purse._

_"I can tape this meeting for you, Detective, if you would like, then you can transcribe it later."_

_"That would be great, thank you. I can concentrate on what you are saying and not what I'm writing." _

_For a moment or two longer the doctor thought things through, switched on the tape recorder and, with an embarrassed clearing of his throat, he began to speak. "Nicholas Large was sent to me by the courts. His public defender felt that it would benefit his case if he agreed to receive counselling and after visiting me here in these offices I was the person he chose, although I actually saw him in a residential facility. I had no idea why I was chosen, not at the time, but I know now. In fact your coming here has answered a question I have wondered about for the last five years, but I will come to that in a little while."_

_Rae was intrigued but she just nodded, she didn't know yet whether Doctor Brown was a man who wanted to be prompted to speak or whether he would just begin talking and carry on to the end. She didn't want to interrupt at the wrong time._

_"You know why he came here, he had attacked a woman on the subway and she'd pressed charges. There had been an off duty cop in the same car as them, he arrested Large there and then and took him to the nearest station._

_"The young woman didn't come and see me, but I did get to see a transcript of the meeting she had with her own therapist. Obviously, I can't go into any great details about it, but suffice to say that she was extremely traumatised by the entire episode, and I think that the only reason she didn't sue him was because she wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened."_

_"I can understand that. It can be very scary to have someone else violate you in that way. People tend to think that you are only harmed mentally by things like rape or sexual assault, but something like that can be just as frightening, maybe in a way even more so, because there is no rhyme nor reason for it, you can't even try to explain it away." Rae ran her fingers through her hair, she had experience of being stalked, as well as being raped, she had, with the help of a loving circle of friends and her family gotten over it all, but it had still been a horrific thing to have happen._

_"You speak as if you can relate to the young woman, Detective, I'm sorry to hear that." There was a short pause before Doctor Brown continued._

_"Mr. Large gave me no reason for the attack; he said that he just suddenly had to have the woman's hair. He had scissors on him, because, apparently, as he was a hairdresser, he always carried them, and he leant forward and tried to cut away a huge chunk of the blonde hair which was, I believe, long enough to reach halfway down her back."_

_Rae nodded her head, the description of the woman fitted the MO. "I guess it might be that at the time he didn't know why he did what he did. It could have been an uncontrollable urge, but now, now he definitely knows what he's doing, I just wish we knew why, that way maybe we could stop him."_

_"I can tell you a little of his background, now that I know what has happened with him since it may make more sense to me, and I guess it would be the other way round with you."_

_"Thank you. I have a feeling that somewhere in his past we will find the answers to the reasons for what he does." Rae smiled a little smile; she was, for the first time in a long while feeling cautiously optimistic about their Red Rose Killer and their ability to stop him once and for all._

The reason for Dominic choosing Doctor Brown had become obvious, as he had gone into more detail about Nicholas Large. He had, apparently, visited three or four psychiatrists' offices before making his choice. Doctor Brown hadn't been privy to the reasons for his decision, but almost immediately after he had come to see him the psychiatrist's secretary had begun to get unwanted gifts and flowers delivered to the offices. There had been no way to discover who was sending the items, all of which had been paid for in cash, and in the end the young woman, pretty, with long blonde hair had felt unable to remain there. She had left Doctor Brown's employ and, Rae had a feeling, probably saved her own life at the same time.

By the time Rae left the Doctor's offices it had been almost three in the afternoon and her mind was so full of what she had heard that she'd let a rare empty cab drive past her without even trying to wave it down.

_Rae was booked on the six o'clock flight out of La Guardia and, because it was non-stop, knew she should arrive in LA just after __ten thirty__ in the evening. It was only a comparatively short journey from the airport to __Beverly Hills__, and Rae was hopeful that she would be in her own bed by __midnight_

_The cassette tape in her purse was full of information she needed to get down in her own words but, until she was home, Rae knew that it would have to wait. The weather was better than it had been, but she still needed to get to the airport. Her bag was at the __Central Park__ precinct, and so, finally climbing into a cab, Rae asked for that address._

_Charlie was waiting for her when she arrived at the front desk and Rae could tell by her face that the news wasn't good._

_"Hi, what's up?" Rae swallowed down her fear, praying that it wouldn't be Jesse or the girls, not when she was this far from home._

_"I have something for you." Charlie had Rae's bag by her feet, in her hand was a file containing about twenty sheets of paper. "I double checked the records for a few of the surrounding stations. I didn't find anything to start with, but then on the last one I found this. I think our guy killed before the attack on the subway._

_"Dammit. I don't have time to go through it before my plane." Rae looked at the folder. "Do you know who the victim was? Where did it happen? I'm guessing that the hair was cut."_

_"Rae … Rae, stop.__ I found this about two hours ago. I've put a basic outline on the first page, but, in order, yes, Sara Ann Miller, __Staten Island__ and maybe. Now go, catch your plane." Charlie came forward and took Rae into a hug which both shocked and delighted her. "I am so glad we met. Take care, Rae."_

_"Thank you, and I'm glad too. I have to admit to being a bit worried about this trip, not that I told anyone, but you made it fun. If they ever send anyone to LA make sure it's you, ok?"_

_"I'll try. Bye, Rae."_

Rae picked up her bag, slid the folder into it and then, with a slightly sad smile, she turned and left the building.

It felt good to be back in LA. The five months or so that he had been travelling around the country had put a serious strain on his finances, but it had also given him time to evaluate his life, and what he was doing with it. He had found jobs in most places he went, sometimes nothing more than washing dishes, other times he had worked as a hairdresser, or in a store, he'd even done three days as a catwalk model in New Mexico.

Now though, with the aid of a not too reliable car, Dominic was back where he belonged, his hometown, the place that had made him the man he was, or should that be the men he was? Dominic laughed, Matthew had been in charge quite a lot over the months because the memory of Krista had kept him satisfied and hidden apart from the Christmas Eve he had spent in Colorado and the day after Valentines in Florida. Los Angeles was different though, the call, the need to kill, was stronger here, but he didn't know why.

Maybe it was because he was born here, maybe because she had told him that she was leaving and going to Los Angeles to get away from him. Whatever the reason he knew that there was no shortage of victims for him here. The blonde hair he loved so much, the natural blonde hair, was common place, some of it wasn't suitable, but it was only one of a number of things that the woman had to have, and he knew he would never run out of women who wanted to be with him, wanted to spend their last hours with him, and that thought alone was enough to make him want to stay here forever.

The apartment, which he had kept on all the time he had been gone welcomed him back like an old friend. He had eagerly rushed to the third door, not even bothering to unpack first, and he had retrieved his treasures from their hiding places and carefully and reverently put them all back where they should be, on the walls and the shelves for him to look at, to spend time with, to enjoy.

A whole week had passed with him feeling satisfied with what he had, but then those familiar sensations began to return, the world became his oyster again, and as he ventured forth to do his grocery shopping, or to look for some part time work, he began to see things through the prism which would surely lead him to his next victim and the scenario he already envisaged for her.

The file hit the dining room table with a satisfying thwack, but that was all that had been satisfying for the entire afternoon. She must have read the notes from her New York visit ten times maybe more over the five months since she had been back and each time they made her more inadequate, more of a failure than she could ever remember feeling. With a deep sigh Rae made her way into the kitchen and poured herself another coffee. She had taken to drinking decaf because the smell of Jesse's morning cup had become very enticing.

She didn't know why but Rae was certain that there would be another killing soon. Maybe there had already been another one and they just didn't know it yet. The certainty that she felt worried her, it disturbed her and with a shiver, which seemed to reach to her very soul, she drained the cup of hot liquid hoping it would help her relax, refocus and prevent that which she feared the most.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 02 Business as Usual**

Steve sat at his desk and looked across the room. He had just finished speaking with his wife, and he wished he could hurry home to her right now. He knew that he was driving her nuts with his constant phone calls, but he worried about her, and he wasn't able to stop himself from calling her at least four or five times each day. She'd had a headache that morning when he left for work and that had caused him to worry even more. The threat of pre-eclampsia was hanging over him now, and although he tried to be laid back about it, he wasn't, he was terrified and when he wasn't bombarding his wife with phone calls he was doing the same to his dad or Jesse, asking question after question over and over again. When he wasn't annoying everyone there were moments when he could think rationally, and then Steve knew that his life would change, totally when their child was born and he was already looking to the future, his future, and planning changes.

With a sigh he wondered what it would feel like to work someplace other than North Hollywood, and realised that he couldn't imagine it at all. He had spent his entire detective career in this building, and although he knew that it was time to try and move on he also knew that he would miss it more than he had thought possible.

Cheryl was sitting at the desk just opposite him, listening intently to someone on the other end of the phone line and, unaware that she was being scrutinised, she made a couple of notes on the tablet of paper in front of her before listening to her caller again. They had grown together over the years, both becoming good cops, and he had no doubt that she would take and pass the lieutenant exams before long. Rae's desk was empty, but only because she was working from home so that she could look after her eldest daughter while Jesse took Anneya for a hearing test at the hospital. There had been some signs that the little girl could hear faint sounds, and although they all hoped and prayed for a miracle where she was concerned, they also knew that those faint sounds could be all that she ever heard.

Steve knew that Rae was planning, if Eliana let her, to work on the Red Rose killings while she was home. They were both still very concerned about their inability to catch Dominic Little, but they were also both so busy that it had slipped to the bottom of their pile of cases and they hadn't been able to do very much about it, not because they didn't want to but because, with no current killings, other things had taken precedence. Steve knew that his clear up rate was good, but he also knew that it would never be good enough until he got to write case closed across that one particular file.

The killings had been getting to him, finding a way past the wall he built around himself to keep those types of things out. Just the night before he had woken from a dream where he had been searching for the killer, finding red roses everywhere, and hearing Jo's voice call out as he tried to help the latest victim. Even now it made him shudder, and again he tried to push the feelings away, as he had done in the darkness of his room. He knew that Jo was worried about him, just as he was concerned about her. Their lives together had never been plain sailing, but they had always had the stability of their marriage to fall back on. Now that their baby was due in roughly three months, and Daniel was missing Michael, that stability was more important than ever, but Steve knew that Jo had secrets, things she wasn't telling him, and that too worried him.

The problems that Michael's departure had caused still reverberated through the household, and Steve had to admit that Juan had stepped into an almost impossible situation and taken it on with charm and aplomb. The one problem he couldn't overcome however was that he wasn't Michael and Steve admired the man for sticking at the job, and he hoped that now the first few months were over Juan would continue to work for them. He wasn't sure how much more upheaval any of them, himself included, could take.

The phone on his own desk shook him out of his contemplation and he reached out with a practiced hand, not even glancing in the direction of the receiver, but grasping it securely and putting it to his ear.

"Sloan here … yeah, that's me ..." He listened intently and his voice was so grave when he replied that Cheryl looked up from her own call at the sound. "I'll be about thirty minutes, my partner'll be a little longer than that, but we'll be there. Nobody touches anything; you need to contact Doctor Bentley at Community General, it has to be her, understood? Yeah, thirty minutes, give or take." He dropped the receiver back into its cradle; it wasn't just his contemplation that was over.

ooo

The bedroom door was closed, the candles were lit, and the ritual had begun. The magic of LA had worked, and now, on the bed before him were the clothes worn by a young woman as they had spent an afternoon out riding. He had spotted the stables on his way into town the week before, and hadn't been able to believe what he was seeing. There on the sign, which said Walters Stables and Livery, was a smaller line of lettering, proprietors Jo and Steve Sloan.

He had never doubted for a minute that everything he did had a purpose, and so he knew why the journey back into town had taken him on a slightly longer, more picturesque route. All he'd needed then was a young woman who wanted to spend time with him on a gentle cross-country hack. That too had been easy to arrange. A visit to a large specialist store had netted him a willing companion on his very first trip.

The date had been arranged, and Leigh Ann had been delighted to find that her handsome companion had it all planned out. He had made a picnic, included a nice white wine, made sure that the route they covered went into a quiet part of the countryside, not too far from civilization, but secluded enough that they could eat in private and he'd made sure that he could kill that way too.

It had worked, like a charm, he had let her horse run free, the smell of blood spooking the animal and almost causing him to lose control of his own mount. He had ridden his beautiful grey steed about a mile on from the body before letting it free as well, then he had made his way down to the highway and retrieved his car from its place in a corporation parking lot, packed the prize possessions in the trunk and returned home. All in all it had been a very pleasant and productive afternoon.

ooo

The mid afternoon sun shone down as Jo sat in the garden waiting for Juan to announce her visitor. She had been delighted when Michael had agreed to meet, and pleasantly surprised when he had said that he would come to the house. That had been almost two hours ago, and now she was more nervous than she would have thought possible.

"Excuse me, Madam, but Mr. Godwin is here to see you. Should I show him through?"

"Yes, please, Juan, thank you. If you could brin' out some lemonade in a little while I would be much obliged." Jo stood up, wiped her suddenly sweaty palms on her baggy top, which was tented over her wonderful bump, and then moved closer to the patio doors to greet her guest.

"Michael." All the hurt she had felt, the disappointment that her father could have cheated on her momma like he had, none of it mattered as she saw her old friend again and she held her arms out so that she could take him into a hug. "Oh, I have just missed you so much." The tears, which seemed a close companion of her these days, were threatening, but she forced them back, however delighted she was, she also needed to talk with Michael, to find out things that should have been discovered months ago.

"I am gratified that you feel that way, I too have missed you, Madam."

"Jo, Michael, please, call me Jo. You are, however hard it has been for me to accept, my brother, you can't call me madam any longer."

Michael just nodded his head slightly, and smiled, and then, as she indicated with her hand, he sat in one of the chairs around the white ornate patio table and made himself comfortable opposite her.

For a moment the silence between them was a little awkward, and Jo rushed to fill it. "So what are you doin' with yourself?"

"I am in the process of establishing a school for butlers, mada … Jo, it seemed an appropriate use of the money; I didn't want to fritter it away."

Jo's answering laugh was natural and relaxed, "Michael, you have never frittered anythin' in your life, as far as I know. Why would you start now?"

Again he inclined his head, almost, Jo realised, as if the only answer was 'thank you, Madam,' and he knew he couldn't say that any longer. For a moment Jo was stunned as she thought of what Michael had lost, she hadn't looked at it that way before, but all the stability in his life had gone when he had opened that letter, it was a testament to his strength of character that he hadn't, as he put it, frittered even a little of the money away.

"Michael, I need to apologise for the way I treated you when I heard your news. Steve an' Daniel were far more accomodatin' than I, an' it shouldn't have been that way. It's just, it's just that my daddy … how could he do that, Michael?"

"I don't know, Madam, he was away from home, maybe he was lonely, I know no more about him than you, significantly less, in fact, because you did spend some of your early childhood with him, whereas I didn't have that priviledge. I have taken the liberty of looking into his past a little since I left your employ, he was a complicated man, but fair I think ... I wanted to ask you, Madam … if you wouldn't object, whether there was a photo of him that you could spare me."

Jo knew that twice Michael had slipped into the habit of calling her madam, and she guessed that it would take a long time for him to change that. "Of course, I'll find you one before you leave. You, you will stay for dinner won't you? Daniel will be home from school in a little while, an' I know Steve will want to see you too."

The patio doors opened again at the moment and Juan came out, a tray with lemonade and glasses in his hands. He placed it carefully in the centre of the table, with the jug handle pointing towards Jo, and then he took a step back before beginning to speak.

"If it is acceptable to Madam, I will go and pick up Master Daniel from school."

"Yes, thank you, Juan, that's fine. But please, do me a favour, don't tell him we have a guest, just that I am in the garden."

"Very good, Madam, Sir." Juan looked across at Michael, and then backed a way a few more steps before turning and leaving the garden.

Jo had been watching Michael out of the corner of her eye, and now, a big grin on her face she couldn't contain herself. "Well?"

"Well, Mad … Jo?"

"What do you think? He isn't you, no one could ever replace you, but what do you think?"

Michael thought carefully for a minute or two before answering; he could see the amusement glinting in his sister's eyes, but he also knew that she was serious, she wanted to know his opinion of her new butler, and so with a small smile he began to speak.

"He answered the door adequately; I was expected so there were no problems there. The tray was deposited on the table in the correct manner; he is polite and treats you with respect. His shoes need polishing, and his shirt was ironed, but not steamed. I would also suggest a hair cut, but apart from that, and all things considered, I think he will grow into the job very well."

Jo had been unable to contain the grin, which was spreading across her face. "I agree on all of it, but the shirt, how do you know it wasn't steamed?"

"By the creases, they aren't as sharp as they could be. Jo," he paused, not really sure if he should continue or not.

"Yes," the banter had been light and welcome, but suddenly there was a serious look on her brother's face, and Jo had no idea where it had come from.

"I am sorry that I hurt you. It was never my intention to do that, but I couldn't in good conscience stay and continue working for you without telling you what had happened in England, not when I knew that I was suddenly a totally different person."

"I know, an' I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have asked you to leave the way I did, an' I certainly shouldn't have waited this long to contact you. I guess … when I think of my daddy I think of a hero, he wasn't big an' strong like Steve, but he was … impressive, he was impressive; I felt betrayed by what he did, but it wasn't your fault. The fault lies with people who are dead an' gone. I gained another brother, someone who I already love an' care about. I don't want to lose you from my life, Michael, but it's gonna take a bit of gettin' used to."

Michael knew that he couldn't expect any more, not yet at least, and he was just about to speak up when the sound of another voice was heard.

"Mom, I'm home … M!" There had been a pause as Daniel took in the scene before him and then he had rushed over to the Englishman, stopping just in front of him, not sure how to greet him.

"Daniel, it's a pleasure to see you again."

"See, that's him being informal!" Daniel laughed; he had told his mom about the visits he had shared with his uncle. First of all he had kept calling him Master, but gradually he had dropped it, mainly, Daniel felt, because every time he slipped back into old habits Daniel had charged him a dollar. Jo had been scandalized until, after two months, he had given his dad $46.00 for the police foundation.

"So, are you staying? Did Mom call you or did you call her? Does Dad know you're here?" Daniel pelted the two adults with questions until laughing aloud Jo leant over and gently placed a finger on his lips.

"Shhh, yes, he's stayin' for dinner, I called him, an' no your dad doesn't know he's here. Now, go do your homework, you can spend some time with Michael at dinner."

Daniel began to protest, but saw the look on both faces, put on a hard done by pout and pretended to storm into the house, moaning loudly about how unfair everything was, and enjoying the laughter he left behind him.

ooo

The sound of laughter filled the garden at Oak Place as Rae and Jesse sat watching their children. Anneya had happily gone off with Vicky and Eliana to play and her parents had been sitting at the large table on their patio, watching and talking about her at the same time.

"What did Doctor Knoll say?" Rae had been glad to have her memories to delve into during the day; it had meant that she hadn't fretted about what was happening with Anneya at the audiologists. The decision to stay at home with Eliana instead of being with Jesse as he took their other little girl into the hospital hadn't been taken lightly, but they knew that any distractions could affect the results they got, and so Rae had stayed away, knowing that by doing so she was actually helping the appointment to run more smoothly.

"He said that he agrees, there is some residual hearing there …" Jesse paused as he saw the hope flare in his wife's face. "Honey, wait, he also said that he wasn't surprised that she had recovered some of her hearing. Everything would have been jolted about when she fell, maybe she hit her head on each stair, we don't know, we'll never know, he also said that he didn't think that she would get any more hearing back."

The hope disappeared in an instant from Rae's face, and was replaced with a look so grief stricken that Jesse had just leant over and taken her into his arms, gently stroking her hair as he spoke. "Shhh, I know, I wanted it to be the start of everything getting better too."

"I … I just want her to have a normal life, what's wrong with that? Eliana has asthma, she's been hospitalised three times this year, and Anneya is going to go through life being unable to hear anything, or anything worth hearing, and it is all my fault. I should never have left them alone; she wouldn't have fallen if I had been with them. I should have put a stair gate up, that would have solved the problem, but no, not me, they're such a damn nuisance that I didn't bother." She tried to pull away from his grip but Jesse wouldn't let her.

"No, Rae, listen; you can't blame yourself for this, if I'd been home she wouldn't have been alone either, do you think I don't realise that? I left you to run this house and our family single-handed, if you want to apportion blame, which you seem to, I should be censured just as much as you. As for Eliana, asthma is endemic in LA; it's not the cleanest air in the world, in case you hadn't noticed, she will hopefully grow out of it, but if she doesn't she will gradually leant to deal with it herself, and she will be just as successful as she would have been without it; Anneya too, there is no way she is gonna lie back and let life go on without her. Look at her, Honey, even now, out in the garden; she is as much a part of that game as Eliana is."

The two girls were playing bowling, rolling the ball along a smooth piece of lawn towards the ten men placed just about four feet in front of them. They had been plain wood when Rae had bought them, but the two children, along with their carer and their mom, had spent a happy afternoon painting faces and clothes on them. Eliana had known what to do once it had been explained and had painted one of her mommy, one of her daddy and one of her Unki Teve. Anneya had painted squirls and splodges all over hers, but had laughed and grinned and obviously enjoyed every moment of the activity. The skittles had all been varnished to keep their artwork safe and now they were part of the most popular game in the garden.

As they watched Anneya picked up one of the balls and roll-bounced it along the grass, it hit two of the men, which wobbled precariously before falling over, taking another three men with them. She then clapped herself loudly and ran after her ball. Rae and Jesse looked at each other, she was happy now, and they intended to make sure that she was always that way.

The sound of the phone ringing in the house broke into the contented afternoon, and with a sigh Rae got to her feet and left the garden, she listened to her partner talking and knew that although she had somehow been expecting and dreading the call it didn't make it any easier to deal with.

As he watched his wife move across the patio towards him Jesse knew that their time together was over, and he watched as she fixed her badge and gun to her belt with a sinking heart. It seemed to him that every time they had a chance to be a normal family real life intervened and sometimes, like now, he wished he could prevent it from happening.

ooo

The crime scene wasn't visible from the road where Rae had left her car, but when she stood on the grass verge she realised that she could see down into the parking lot and the quiet place near a more popular one was the first sign that this was indeed another Red Rose killing. As she turned to look down at the victim she knew that there were no doubts, Dominic Little was back, and back with a vengeance.

"Steve, Amanda." Rae moved closer so that her partner and friend would both know she had arrived. "Sorry, it took a little longer than I planned, the roads were busy."

"They were, weren't they? I only just got here myself." Amanda straightened back up and carefully looked down at her knee. "Something is digging in me, I don't want to just brush it off, Steve, do you have a little bag?"

"Yeah, sure, hold on." He fumbled in his pocket and then carefully passed over a plastic container with a press fastening along the top.

"Let me." He crouched down in front of her with a pair of tweezers in his left hand and began to take the small sharp pieces of twig from the blue of Amanda's pants and drop them into the clear plastic.

"What's this?" The tweezers had a piece of almost pink gravel in them and Steve looked around to see if he could spot any more of it. When he couldn't he took another bag from his pocket and dropped it into that one, alone and maybe important.

"There is a slight boot imprint here, look." Rae, like Amanda and Steve, was standing about three feet away from a picnic rug, which was soaked with blood. The body laying on it was obviously female, young, and dead. There was very little hair on her head, and no clothes or identifying items around either.

"I would say not a hiking boot, there isn't a deep tread or anything, it's slightly pointed at the toe, and has a definite heel. Almost … I don't know, maybe like a cowboy boot."

"I'll get a cast made, the scene has been secured, and I decided on four foot around the rug for closer care and initial inspection. We need to watch where we're treading all round here though."

"Ok. Who found her?" Rae had looked but couldn't see anyone who looked like they didn't belong at the murder scene, no one who was deeply traumatized or upset. She knew that she would be traumatized herself by this, that the image of the young woman would add itself to the others she had seen and invade her dreams just as they did, but for now that couldn't concern her, for now she had to do her job to the best of her ability, she would worry about the nightmares later.

"Woman walking her dog, she's down in a patrol car giving an initial statement. I'm gonna have a word with her and then she'll be taken home. We can go visit with her later.

"The same as the first one."

"Pardon?" Steve looked nonplussed for a moment.

"The first victim, in LA, Jenna, she was found by a woman walking her dog."

"So she was." Steve dismissed the fact immediately, he knew that Rae was just thinking aloud, and as a fact it was immaterial, just a coincidence.

"I called Dad, he's been going over all the files for me, but he hasn't seen a murder scene yet. There are so many similarities each time that I wanted him to come see this one."

"Sure, no problem, a new set of eyes won't be a bad thing." Rae smiled; she loved working with Mark, but knew that Steve had tried to keep him away from the gruesomeness of this case from the beginning. She also knew that her partner tended to coddle him on occasion, and was sure that although he would be grieved by what he saw, and would take the images home with him just as they did, he would also be strong enough to compartmentalize them and work on the clues and not just the emotions of the case.

"Rae, can you make a note of any pictures that you want taken? She …" Steve paused just for a second, but it was long enough for both his friends to see how vulnerable he was feeling. "She was still warm when the black and white guys got here."

"Oh, God." Rae looked down at the young woman, who she realised now had probably died about the time she was thinking about a new victim and the guilt almost overwhelmed her.

"Rae?" Steve's voice was full of concern but Rae couldn't handle it, she realised that she had no idea how Steve would react to her flight of fancy and so she just shook her head mutely and moved away to be by herself for a moment or two while she pulled herself together.

"Amanda, Rae, Steve." Mark's voice brought her back to the moment at hand and she turned, a forced smile on her face to welcome her old friend.

"Dad, the main crime scene is about four foot around this blanket. In fact I think I'll put ribbon round this at six foot as well. Rae, do you have any?"

"Sure, in my boot, hold on." She turned and made her way back down the slight slope towards the sidewalk. She was glad of the extra few minutes the request would give her alone, but that request meant she missed the smiles that crossed the faces of her friends. Her accent rarely gave away her origins any more, but the occasional slip into British terms certainly did.

The smiles had gone by the time she returned and carefully began to lay the police tape around the rug. There were ribbons draped in the nearby bushes, preventing unauthorised personnel coming too close, but this was a further restriction, the grass was long and tangled in places, and all sorts of clues could be hiding there.

Steve looked around him, the arc lights he had requested were being set up, there were two tracker dogs sitting waiting for something to search for, his dad was helping Rae and, as they unrolled the tape, they were carefully looking at the area and making mental notes. Amanda was talking to one of her own colleagues about the pictures she would need taken, and as his eyes scanned the area expertly Steve noted with satisfaction that no one was unemployed. Finally, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans he sighed, it was going to be a long time before he saw home again.

ooo

The feel of his cell phone vibrating in his pocket had startled Jesse and he had reached for it, hoping that it would be Rae. The call ended before he had a chance to answer it, and his heart fell as he saw the identity of the caller on the screen. Susan. Sometimes she let him answer and would keep him talking about inconsequential things until he hung up just to get rid of her, other times she would hang up herself before he spoke to her. He didn't know what her game was, but he did know that he didn't understand the rules, and he didn't like it, not one little bit. He had loved her once, and would never do anything to hurt her, but she was hurting and scaring him and Jesse knew that if it didn't stop soon it would begin to eat away at him, and however strong he felt he also knew that he was still, and probably always would be, vulnerable to attacks from others.

Jesse got to his feet and made his way further into the garden where his children were now playing hide and go seek. The game, it seemed, was a bit beyond both girls, but they were enjoying running about and, as Jesse watched, he could see Eliana was making allowances for her sister, checking she was in front of her, if she wanted to do anything that included her Anneya could see what it was first and he smiled. There had been more problems for him and Rae accepting their daughter's limitations than Eliana.

"Vicky, I'm going out for a while, I don't think Mrs Travis will be home until much later in the evening, I should be back by about," he checked his watch and saw that already it was a little after five, "seven I hope." He keyed a familiar number into his phone as he left the garden, intending to sort his problem out once and for all.

ooo

Jo and Michael had talked for a long while about the discovery of his letters, the fact that he was a Walters, they had spoken of their feelings, and had generally cleared the air and become relaxed in each other's company again. By the time they were ready to eat the atmosphere around the dinner table had been very pleasant, even though Steve had been unable to get home in time to share in it. Jo had called Mark, but he too had been unavailable, and so it had been just the three of them who sat down together.

"Michael, finally, after all these years I got to eat my meal with you." Jo had smiled as she spoke, accepting a coffee from Juan with a slight nod of her head as she did so. "How ever many times did I try to get you to do this before?"

"I have no idea, but it would have been most inappropriate for me to accept." Michael watched the butler closely as he poured out the second cup of coffee and then quietly left the room.

"Yeah, I guess so. Could we … could we go into the library do you think, I would like to talk to you about a few thin's, unless you have to leave already?" Jo caught sight of the clock on the mantle piece of the morning room fireplace and saw that it was gone five.

"No, I have no where else to be this evening, and if you have a problem, Mada …" Michael smiled as he caught himself in a mistake, "Jo, I would be glad to help in any way I can."

"Shall we take our coffee through then?" Jo went to stand and felt Michael gently pull her chair out for her. "Thank you." She watched as her new brother picked up both cups of coffee and then together they walked towards a room she very rarely used.

Steve had called to say that he had another Red Rose killing and had no idea when he would be home, Daniel had finished his homework and was out with two friends from school, he had a curfew of nine in the evening, and so Jo knew that she had plenty of time to talk with Michael and try and get a few things straight in her mind.

The library was the grandest room in the house, and Jo loved it, but because it seemed so magnificent she tended to spend her days in other parts of her home. Now though she made herself comfortable on a deep gold brocade covered sofa that matched a lot of the other furniture her grandmamma had purchased during her lifetime. Jo preferred the modern furniture she herself had been gradually adding to the house. Her latest purchase was a sumptuous white leather sofa that resided in the main hallway. She felt that it made the house seem much more welcoming, although Daniel seemed to think that it was there as a dumping ground for all his school stuff.

"Jo, what is it you want to talk to me about?" Michael was a little concerned, his sister had been relaxed and happy throughout the meal, but now, now that they were away from everyone else, and she had mentioned a problem she had, there was worry and concern showing in her eyes.

"Do you remember, a long time ago, or it seems a long time ago to me, that my accountant, Renny was killed?"

Michael thought for a moment and then nodded his head, "Yes I do, Detective Banks was working on the case."

"Well, I had me a few problems over that, an' I have been tryin' to sort them out ever since. It seems that some of my money has been taken from where I wanted it to be, large enough amounts that I want to know where it's gone."

Michael wasn't quite sure if he understood what she was saying and after thinking for a moment he asked, what was to him, an obvious question. "What does Steve say about all of this or David?" Michael hadn't had very much to do with his new brother, the young man had called and welcomed him to the family, but he was sure that the silence since was due to the woman he was now, regrettably, able to call his sister-in-law.

Jo looked away, an expression of shame on her face. "They don't know, I haven't told anyone, but … Michael, you've always helped me in the past, I need you to help me again now."

For a moment Michael felt an immeasurable sadness descend upon him, he had thought that his sister had called because she wanted to see him, wanted to begin a new relationship with him, but now it seemed that he had misread the situation, all she wanted was his advice, which he would give freely, but somehow it wasn't the same, the whole afternoon and evening wasn't the same any more.

As if sensing what he was feeling Jo got to her feet and moved over to the armchair where he was sitting.

"Michael, I called you because you're my brother, I had no intention of askin' you about any of this it's just … it's just, I don't know who else to speak to about it. Steve, he'd listen, he'd help me, I know that, but he's never liked my money, he doesn't understand how much a part of me it is. This is more than just defraudin' me of a few hundred thousand dollars, this is an attack on me an' my family, please, Michael, help me sort it out."

"And David?"

"If I told David then she would know. I don't want her to have any more information on me than is absolutely necessary." Jo tossed her hair as she spoke, and Michael had to resist the temptation to laugh at her and fight down the urge to call Debbie Miss Prissy Knickers himself.

ooo

The coffee house, just down the road from the hospital, was almost empty when Jesse got there. He had arranged to meet with Susan during her main break from a two-to-eleven shift, and she had been sitting at a secluded table waiting for him when he arrived.

The look on her face as he sat down made him wonder whether it had been a mistake to meet with her, but he needed to get across that their relationship had been over a long while ago, and she was wasting her time trying to re-kindle it.

"Jesse, I knew that you would come, in the end, I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away."

The waitress brought over a cup of coffee and a Danish pastry and placed it in front of him before turning and moving back to the main counter. "I ordered for you."

"Susan, I didn't come to start anything, I came to finish it. You have to stop calling me."

She shook her head, "No, we are supposed to be together, I was wrong to leave, and you were wrong to go back to that woman. I know she is the mother of your children, there is loyalty there because of that, but you and I, Jesse and Susan, that's how it's supposed to be."

Jesse stood up, ignoring his drink and trying to do the same with his companion. "I shouldn't have come. Goodbye, Susan."

Vowing to change his cell phone number as soon as possible Jesse made his way across the room and out of the door, but as he arrived on the sidewalk he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to feel Susan plant her lips firmly against his own and hold him there with a hand through his hair, he tried to resist her kiss, but was effectively trapped, and as he looked over her shoulder and pushed against her with his palms he saw Alex staring at him in horror.

A/N. The scene separators are being stripped from my chapters, again. I apologise, I will try to find a character that it doesn't happen to and then use that.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 03 Love Hurts

"Alex, wait!" Jesse had managed to extricate himself from Susan but his friend had already turned and was walking back the other way down the sidewalk showing no intention of stopping and listening to what Jesse had to say. Jesse wasn't used to being ignored and he paused, not sure what to do next. Looking back towards where Susan still stood he saw a look of such smug accomplishment on her face that he rounded on her.

"You planned that! What did you do, invite Alex for coffee too?"

"You may not believe me, but no, Jesse, I didn't. In case you haven't noticed I'm not prepared to share you with anyone!" She moved a little closer, half expecting him to back away, but when he stood motionless, she raised her hand and touched his cheek. "No one will be surprised at what he saw, like I said, we should be together."

Jesse brushed her hand away like would do an annoying insect, "No, you're wrong, I don't know how to get across to you that you are, but I will, one way or another. Just leave me alone, Susan, leave me alone!"

This time he did turn and walk off the other way, knowing that he had to find Alex, had to try to explain what it was his friend thought he had seen, tell him that it wasn't the way it looked at all.

ooo

The young police officer wasn't really sure how to handle the information he had just been given. He'd done missing persons calls before, but usually from a worried family member or work colleague. He wasn't used to taking down the details from someone who was, effectively, a stranger to those missing.

"How do you know that they haven't just finished their allotted time and gone home, Ma'am?"

"Because only one horse has come back and she has blood splattered on her coat."

"It could be her own couldn't it?"

"Officer, I checked that, believe it or not my first concern wasn't for the rider but the horse. She has no cuts or scrapes on her to cause any bleeding. She was part of a two man, or in this case, one man, one woman, hack and was booked out for two hours. She was due back four hours ago but arrived about forty minutes or so before you got here.

"Did they tell you where they planned to go on their hack?"

"No, Officer, they aren't planes with pilots, there doesn't have to be a flight plan logged." The stable hand paused and then took a breath, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, I'm just worried that's all."

"It's alright, Ma'am, I understand that." He smiled, it made all the difference when someone apologised for their rudeness. "I'll call it in, but without some idea as to where they might have gone I'm not sure what we can do. I'll check to see if anyone called for medical assistance, everyone has cell phones these days, perhaps they just forgot to contact you in the worry of the moment. Did you call your boss or send anyone out looking yourself?"

"We looked around for a while, but there was no trace of the other horse, or either rider. I'll call my boss, but there is something you should know about that, her husband is a cop, a lieutenant I think."

"Should I get a message to him then?" He watched the young woman in front of him nod and made a note on his pad. "Do you know his name?"

"Sure, it's Sloan, Lieutenant Steve Sloan."

"Ok, you said that the man was about thirty, maybe a little older, he had blonde hair, was quite tall and nice looking. The woman was younger, early twenties maybe, with long blonde hair done up in a thick braid down her back. Both of them were wearing jeans and t-shirts, and cowboy boots. Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"No, not really." The woman thought for a moment and then nodded. "I would have said that they were still getting to know each other, they stood a little bit apart while he paid, and a groom helped her up onto her horse, not him."

"And the names again, what names did they give?"

"Matthew Little and … um, I don't have a second name, but I heard him call her Leigh."

"Ok, thank you. If they come back, or the other horse turns up, get in touch with the station." The young man put a card on the counter in front of him and then, placing his cap back on his head, he smiled and went out to his squad car.

ooo

Mark looked across the uneven ground to where his son was standing talking with Rae and Amanda and sighed deeply. He had been helping out on this case, on and off, since it started, but he hadn't appreciated the apparently frenzied violence meted out to the victims.

His daughter-in-law had mentioned to him that Steve was having the occasional nightmare, and although she hadn't been specific Mark was sure it was related to this case. Now, as he stood looking down at the broken body of yet another fatality, he could understand how the case would get underneath the skin of any compassionate person, and he knew that his son, however much he might try to cover it up, was definitely that.

Amanda had instructed the photographer on the variety of shots she required and the young man was carefully making his way around the murder scene taking photos from all conceivable angles. He had seen Rae take some shots herself with a Polaroid camera and Mark knew that they would be used when they all discussed the case later.

He was also watching the British detective from a medical viewpoint, but he didn't see anything to cause him concern. She too would be affected by the Red Rose killings, he had no doubt about that, but Mark knew that with Jesse back home where he belonged Rae was far more able to cope with the case than she had been while she had been alone.

"Mark?" He hadn't realised that he had been daydreaming, but Amanda was suddenly standing right next to him and he jumped a little as she spoke.

"Sorry, Sweetie, what did you say?"

"I said that I am going to have the body turned over in a minute or two, and I would welcome another pair of eyes as I do so." Amanda smiled at him and was pleased to see him smile back. "What were you thinking about?"

"I was just wondering how a case like this affects those involved in it, how about you, you see more details than anyone, how are you doing?"

For a moment Amanda was silent, working out how much to tell her friend without concerning him too much. "It's hard, y'know, especially when I know the victim, like I did with Nadine, and when I see what was done to incapacitate them, but each one makes me more determined to find something which will catch this guy and see him punished." Again she paused, "I think I would find it harder if it wasn't Steve's case, and if I didn't have Ron at home and you at work to share it with if I need to."

A shout echoed across from the other side of the body calling Amanda's name and the two friends looked at each other with love and encouragement before moving across to where Steve and Rae were waiting for the body to be moved also.

"The hair was taken off, I think, although I'm not sure, not being an expert on long hair, that it was cut in one piece." Rae had discussed her assumption with Steve, and having seen his response had been undecided initially whether to say anything.

"Son?"

"What?" Steve almost barked the one word answer. "Sorry, Dad. Let's just get on with this can we? Any discussions can be held later."

"I think that we should wait a little longer." Mark was looking around again as he spoke. Amanda had mentioned another pair of eyes, and that had set him thinking. The crime scene he knew was vitally important to their killer, he had a feeling that it was the first main piece of the jigsaw that he made for himself each time he took a life and suddenly Mark needed another pair of eyes too, and he knew just who they belonged to.

ooo

"I think, Madam, that there is more to what you are telling me than maybe you are ready to admit to anyone." Michael's words broke into the quiet, which Jo had begun to find a little uncomfortable after her plea to her brother for his help.

The silence continued for a few more moments before finally Jo spoke. "I've always been careful with my money, oh I know I spend some of it, more of it since I've had a husband an' a chil' to share it with, but there have been a few things which have happened that make me wonder who I can trust and who I can't."

"I see, and are you wondering whether I am one of those people?" Michael was concerned that his sister seemed very upset but apparently unable to share her worries with anyone.

"No, no, Michael, never."

"Steve, perhaps?" He seriously doubted that, but if she hadn't shared her fears with her husband then did that mean that she was concerned that he was defrauding her.

"No! How do I explain this?" Jo stood up, she had been turning over her money problems for almost three months and she was beginning to wish that she had kept her concerns to herself.

"First of all I got a credit card bill from a company I have never used. It wasn't just an ordinary bill; it was a lawyer's letter tellin' me that if I didn't clear the balance on my card within the next seven days they would take me to court to reclaim the money." She paused and then looked right into the face of her brother, "Michael, I'd never had any dealin's with this company, I have never not paid my bills, in full, on the day the envelope drops onto the mat, an' I have certainly never been in debt before."

"What did you do?" Michael kept his voice soft, he already knew what she hadn't done, and now that she had finally decided to share he didn't want to slow her progress.

"I waited until Steve an' Daniel had left for the day, I sent Juan out to do some grocery shoppin' an' then I got on the phone to the lawyer's office an' tried to straighten the whole thing out."

"I see, and did that work?"

"Not right away. They wouldn't deal with any of it over the phone so I had to go into town an' see them." Jo shuddered, the offices had been plush and beautifully furnished but although they had been a reputable firm the deference with which she was used to being treated when she spent time with Gilbert had been sadly lacking.

"You went on your own?" Michael was scandalized and without realising he began to speak to her more on an equal footing than he had ever dared to before.

"Yes, I am quite capable of doin' these things myself, an' Steve was busy bein' captain an' Rae was still sick …" She lowered her eyes, there had been one person, one person who would have gone, but she had been too proud, still too shocked, to call on him.

"I see, and when you went to the offices, were you able to sort out the matter satisfactorily?"

"I took the details of my other cards with me, an' the man I talked with was very nice. I've checked up on them since an' they are a good firm, an' they were just doing their job for the credit card company."

"Did you check all the details which were taken when the card was issued?"

"Of course. I'm a good catch. Any card company would want me to have one of their pieces of plastic in my purse. The card was, apparently, sent here, although I never received it, it was signed an' activated an' then it was used for smaller purchases, never too big, never over $100 or so. But in three months $25,000 was spent. The bills were sent to an address in Compton."

"Did you have to pay the $25,000?" Michael knew that, realistically, it was a small amount to take from the Walter's purse, but as she hadn't spent a dime of it that was immaterial.

"No, the legal requirement is $50.00 which I did pay, even though I was told that if it was proved that I had nothin' to do with the fraud I wouldn't be liable for that either. I suggested that if they had someone who couldn't afford the fifty, to use mine for that."

"Was it proved?" Michael was relieved when Jo nodded her head.

"Yeah, but only because I could show I was in one place when the card was used somewhere else. I attended a gala dinner at the Beverly Hills Hilton an' my picture was in the paper, at the same time I was, apparently, in an electrical shop in Van Nuys buyin' DVD's. I also bought theatre tickets over the Internet while I was havin' an prenatal exam!"

They both smiled, but the underlying worry was still there.

"Someone did that to me, I have also had some disturbin' telephone calls, but they have only been happenin' this week. Hang ups, heavy breathin', I had two yesterday where music was played down the line. We're not in the phone book but they aren't comin' to the house, just my cell. Someone seems to want to make me feel vulnerable. They're succeedin' too."

"You know what I am going to say, don't you, Madam, Jo."

"Tell, Steve, Michael, I can't. He is so worried about this Red Rose killer, he isn't here tonight because there has been another killin', how can I have him worryin' 'bout me any more than he is already? He calls me almost every hour to make sure I'm ok, he's drivin' me nuts. If I tell him that I am havin' anonymous calls, or my finances are bein' invaded, he'll never leave the house."

"And how do you think he will feel if he finds out that you have been keeping all this from him?"

Jo didn't answer, not because she couldn't but because even thinking about what Michael had said brought up the vision of her husband's kind and handsome face in her mind and she knew that he would be incredibly hurt.

"You are married to a police lieutenant, he can get your phone calls traced, make sure that your mail isn't tampered with any more, I imagine he would get in touch with the postal inspection service about the frauds. Jo, he's in a far stronger position to help you than anyone else."

The phone interrupted their conversation then and Jo sighed as Juan came in to inform her that she was required on the phone, and Michael watched as she left the room before looking round and realizing again just how much he missed not only the people but the house as well.

ooo

He didn't know what had gotten into his colleague, how could he do something like that, and in public too? Alex sat in the very back of the first coffee shop he had come to, the latte he had bought cooling in front of him and shook his head. He had been friends with Jesse for a long time, almost from the day he started working at Community General. Alex remembered with a deep sigh the day he'd found out his father had died of a massive heart attack and he hadn't been there. They had talked and Jesse had made him realise just how proud of him his dad had been, how much he had known he loved him. But Rae was his friend too, and he had seen her suffer when Jesse was away from her. He couldn't tell her, not yet, he owed Jesse the chance to explain himself, and then he would decide what to do next. With the decision made Alex drained his cup, stood up and made his way back out onto the sidewalk. He needed to find his friend; somehow nothing else mattered quite as much as that.

ooo

The crime scene had seemed strangely empty once the body had been removed. Steve wasn't sure if it was because she had been lying on a blanket which was now, apart from the newly revealed red rose, bare or if was just his imagination. At his dad's suggestion he had called Ron and they had waited to remove the body until the tall FBI agent had visited the scene. Now, as he watched, Rae was talking earnestly with Amanda's new husband and Steve knew that he would get to hear all they had discussed a little later.

His dad was walking around the area, carefully placing his feet, but alive and alert to everything around him. Steve didn't think they had missed anything at the other murder sites, but he did know that if there was a consistency they had overlooked then his father would find it.

The sound of his phone ringing in his pocket made him grimace; Daniel had been at the ringer again. Instead of its usual beeping noise it now played the theme from _Star_ _Wars_. He checked the display and a smile lit up his face. "Hi, Honey."

Mark turned at the sound of the tune and smiled, he knew that Steve would reprimand Daniel for the altered ring tone, but he also knew that his son would be secretly delighted that he'd had it happen.

"Hi, Honey, are you ok ...? What? You're sure? You're sure they were the names used?" the tone of his voice stopped all other conversations in the area and everyone's eyes were instantly on him. "Umm, no, I don't think so. Look I'll call in on my way home … I don't know, it's what, oh, about eight … yeah, I guess you're right. Call and tell her to go, I'll be there at eight in the morning … I know, and I love you too. Bye." Steve shut down his phone and looked across at the faces of his friends and colleagues. "Rae, Dad, Amanda." His voice told the three of them that they were needed. The look that he gave his friend and sometimes partner, meant that Ron also moved across to where he was standing, but it was Mark who spoke first.

"Son, what is it? Is it Jo?" Mark had heard the beginning of the phone conversation and now was worried about both his son and his wife.

"No, well, not directly anyway." For a moment Steve stopped talking; the case, which had been getting more and more personal the longer it went on, had just hit home, right home, and he had no idea how to deal with it.

"Steve?" Rae reached out and touched his arm. Something had happened, something that had taken the case to a different level for her partner and once again she wasn't sure how to approach him. Suddenly she was furiously angry, not at Steve, or anyone nearby but with Dominic; he was tearing apart their partnership and she couldn't let him do that. Consciously forcing her thoughts into an inaccessible part of her brain until later, Rae looked back at Steve and smiled, she would not take out any of her temper on him.

Steve saw something flare in Rae's eyes, he thought for a moment that it was anger, but then he saw those same eyes soften and she smiled at him. "What is it?"

"The victim's name was Leigh. I don't know her surname yet, but she had been out horse riding, her and a man named Matthew Little."

"How do you know that?" Ron began to speak, but then put two and two together. Jo had called; Jo had a riding stables. "He used your stables."

"Yeah, he used my stables." For Steve, right at that moment, there was nothing else to say and so he turned his back and moved away into the gathering darkness.

ooo

Jesse had been unable to find Alex and so had called him on his cell phone, and now they were sitting back at Oak Place, uneasily staring at each other, neither man knowing how to start what would be an awkward conversation for both of them until in the end they both spoke at once.

"Alex."

"Jesse."

Deciding he had to take the plunge Jesse carried on talking. "Look, Alex, I know what you think you saw, but you have to trust me, it wasn't like that, it wasn't like that at all." Vicki had made them both coffees and now he gratefully drank down a mouthful of the hot steaming liquid.

"Jess, I don't want to interfere in your private life, but …" he paused, unsure what to say, or how to express himself.

"But you saw me kissing another woman. Yeah, I know, and I guess it's an old cliché, but I wasn't doing any of the kissing, you have to believe me."

"Jess, I'm not about to cause trouble between you and Rae, but you need to get this sorted out. I know she saw you kissing Susan at the hospital, and that she saw you at Bob's. I also know she thinks it's over, it just didn't look over to me today." Alex felt so uncomfortable he found he couldn't sit still, and so he got up and moved to the window, watching the lights out across the city. It wasn't dark yet, but already the apartment blocks and offices were sending out their bright beams like beacons into the gradually dimming sky.

"Alex, I need you to promise me that you won't tell Rae. I have to sort this out, but I have to do it my way." The words came out as a plea, and Jesse realised that he didn't know what he would do or say if Alex didn't agree.

The room descended back into its uncomfortable silence as both men wrestled with what had transpired until finally Alex turned back from the window and looked at his friend.

"I don't like deceiving anyone, and I won't deceive Rae. If she asks me, Jesse, I'll tell her what I saw, but I won't volunteer the information. She is at her happiest when she's with you; you know that, if you cheat on her you'll destroy her."

"I'm not cheat …" Jesse realised that he had spoken too loudly, too quickly and he shut his words off with a snap. "I am not cheating on her, I never have and I will sort it out, I just … I just don't know how yet."

Alex heard the pain in his friend's voice and moved closer to him. "Jesse, I can't give you advice, but I will help if I can, you know that."

Jesse nodded his head and was about to answer when his cell phone began to ring, and he knew without looking who it would be.

ooo

The ground was bumpy and seemed to fall away from him on all sides. Steve knew he had to get to the blanket that he could see just out of reach ahead of him. There were voices calling to him, accusatory voices, telling him how it was his fault that they died, his fault that they had been attacked, raped and killed and then their faces, their beautiful faces were wearing the grotesque masks of death that Dominic had left them with. They swirled in front of him, pulling him closer and closer to the blanket, and he could see a body, another body, but this was different, and as he stared at it he heard Amanda's voice instructing someone to turn it over, he tried to call out, to stop her, to tell her to wait, but his own voice wouldn't work, his legs wouldn't let him run away, and hands held him, stopping him from doing anything but watching as the body was turned and Jo's lifeless face looked up at him. "NO! Jo, no!"

"Steve, Honey, wake up, it's only a dream, Baby, please, wake up." Jo could hear the tears as they tried to overwhelm her but she wouldn't let them through. Steve was tossing and turning, restlessly pulling at the sheets, and she placed a hand on his arm to try to reach him, but it seemed to make him more agitated, and so she moved back not sure what to do but needing to do something.

The evening had been difficult, at least the short part of it they had spent together. Steve hadn't arrived home until a little after ten-thirty and Jo had been getting very worried about him. She had told Michael how he was calling her incessantly during the day and how it drove her nuts, but she hadn't heard from him since she'd let him know about the information she had received from her stable hand, and it had taken all her willpower not to pick up to phone to him again.

Jo didn't want to wake Steve up suddenly, but he was sweating, his upper body covered in a sheen which was caught in the moonlight, and she knew that he was suffering. For a moment Jo wished that Michael were still here, that she had taken him up on his offer to stay with her. Juan was a capable butler, but she would never let him see his employer this way. Michael would have known what to do, she didn't, and she wished with all her heart that her brother were with her.

The problem was suddenly solved as Steve sat up in bed, shaking with emotion.

"NO! Jo, no!" The words held such urgency, such fear that without thinking she reached over and touched him, causing him to jump and cry out again. "No!"

Steve looked around him, his eyes darting left and right, he didn't know for a moment where he was, and when he felt someone touch him his heart leapt into his throat and he heard himself yell out in fear. Slowly though the room around him became clear and he realised that he was at home, in his own bed, safe and sound and as his wife's soft, loving voice broke through he turned, tears in his eyes and pulled her towards him, finally aware that she was still with him.

Jo couldn't get very close to anyone in her condition, and she didn't touch him, just let him hold her and spoke softly, hoping that she could break through his waking nightmare with more success than she had his sleeping one. "Honey, it's ok. It was just a bad dream, but it's over now, it's over."

"Oh, God, Jo. Oh, God." He was shaking, his voice tremulous, and as he held her tightly he knew that she was wrong, it wasn't over, and until he found Dominic it never would be.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 04 I Spy with my Little Eye **

The squad room was a quiet place in the early hours of the morning, but Rae had been unable to sleep and finally, at two o'clock, decided to get up and start her day six hours before time.

Now she was sat, her feet resting on the pulled out middle drawer of her desk, looking at the scene of crime photos that she had taken herself. She wasn't a professional photographer by any means, but she got the idea, while talking with Ron one afternoon, that she might be able to dissect a crime scene more successfully if she had shots of the body, or other important evidence, taken from the angles she was most interested in. This was the first time she had tried the suggestion out and there was a buzz of excitement within her as she looked at the different pictures and realised that she was able to revisit far more easily this way.

Once Steve had told them that the couple had been on horseback the trampled grass had made far more sense. They had been able to surmise the route that had been taken and both uniformed and plain clothes officers were going to flood the area later that day to try and find anyone who might have witnessed the two horses either with or without their riders.

The second mount had finally returned to the stables a little after ten in the evening, lame, badly scratched and exhausted. Not for the first time, she guessed, Rae was a human wishing that horses could talk; an eyewitness could move them much closer to completing their enquiries, but the breaks weren't falling their way.

Rae was worried about Steve, she knew that he had a lot on his mind and another killing wasn't going to help him. She was also worried about Jesse, but she wasn't sure why. He had been distant and reserved when she had finally arrived home although he hadn't given her any indication of what it was that troubled him. He hadn't woken when she had got up and left the house, but she was determined to speak with him when they were both home for the evening.

The phone rang on the desk in front of her and Rae sighed; she knew she shouldn't have informed the switchboard that she was in the building. Grabbing a pen she hoped she wouldn't need Rae picked up the receiver and announced who she was.

ooo

Jo sat up in bed, a beautifully soft cashmere shawl around her shoulders. The wrap was blue one side and a rich mauve the other. There was a herringbone pattern through the weave and she loved it. Michael had brought it back from London for her and the feel of it against her skin was almost unbelievable. It was also warm and, in the early hours of the morning, she was feeling a little chilled. Her head ached too, but that wasn't anything unusual; she would take a couple of Tylenol once Steve had left for work, which would sort that.

Steve had got up after his nightmare and taken a shower, it hadn't helped him much though and he was now pacing the room running his fingers absently through his still wet hair and sighing deeply every few steps.

"Darlin', you are gonna wear through the rug if you don't stop movin'. Please, come back to bed, come back to me, to us." Jo smiled, hoping that the mention of their child would help break through her husband's negativity.

"And do what? If I close my eyes I'll see it all again, I'm keeping you awake, I'll just get dressed and go into the station. At least that way I can be productive."

"Oh no you don't. Rae is always sayin' she never beats you in. You start workin' at three in the mornin' when you don't have to an' she is gonna think you have really lost the plot."

Steve smiled; it had been a longstanding joke between them that he was always in the squad room before his partner. He had to admit it had never occurred to him that he started work before his shift was due to begin, but he guessed that if he was honest it happened that way more often than not. Forcing a smile onto his face Steve moved back over to the bed and climbed in between the cool sheets. He looked into the eyes of his wife and although he saw love there he also realised that something else was on her mind, something that again she was keeping from him, and fighting down his anger and disappointment he took her hand into his own.

"D'you want to tell me what's the matter?"

"Pardon?" Jo looked into the brilliant blue eyes of her husband and saw love mingled with a little anger and concern. "Nothin' it's nothin', you have far too much on your mind as it is."

"Jo, Honey, whatever it is, you need to tell me, because if you don't I'll just imagine something ten times worse."

Again Jo looked at him; the way he had been worrying lately he was probably right. She only had to leave a little bit of her dinner, or take two minutes longer than usual in the bathroom and he was ready to call in the paramedics, if she turned away from him now he would probably have her admitted to hospital tied to a gurney, convinced that there was something wrong with either her or the baby.

"I … I'm havin' money problems."

"What?" the worried tone had gone, in its place was total incredulity; surely he couldn't have heard what he thought he heard. "You have money problems? How can you have money problems?"

"I don't know, an' that is part of the trouble. Someone has taken out a credit card in my name an' run up huge debts on it. I know bein' pregnant can cause your brain cells to shut down, but I would remember if I had authorized a new card, I know I would."

Steve saw tears fill his wife's beautiful dark eyes and the smart remark he was going to use disappeared back from whence it came. Instead he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "Honey, if you are in serious debt then I'm not the person to help you. But if it is just one card we can sort it out together. If you didn't have anything to do with this someone else must have. I'll get the fraud squad to look into it."

"I've dealt with some of it myself. I went an' saw the debt collection agency who were dealin' with it, the account has been closed an' the debt wiped out, but how can someone do that? The signature wasn't that different to my own, the contract was sent here an' then, apparently, I contacted the company an' requested that all further correspondence be sent to a post office box account. That has to be so illegal!"

This time Steve couldn't help but laugh the indignation and naivety in his wife's voice as she finished speaking belying the fact that she was, herself, an experienced police officer, or ex-police officer. "Honey, I promise you, when I get into the station in the morning I'll look into all of this, but right now I just want to snuggled back down under the covers and feel you next to me, I love you, Jo, move a little closer."

He lay still as his wife moved down under the covers as well and then she turned slightly away from him so that she could move back against his chest. The sensation of his warm breath against now bare shoulders caused a shiver to escape her and then his arms were around her and as she felt their baby move towards the warmth of his hands on her belly she knew that she was in the best place in the entire world.

ooo

Sitting across from her in one of the station interview rooms, Jason Freeman looked far more dapper than Rae felt. He was wearing a suit and tie, he had a neat black briefcase by his feet and he was what she had been waiting for, for the longest time. He was an eyewitness and had seen Dominic and Leigh together.

"I was just walking the dog before bed. I didn't realise until I got up again that what I had seen was of any interest to anyone."

"That's ok, Sir, but why were you going to bed that early in the afternoon?"

"Because I work through the night. I'm in charge of one of the computer programming systems for the Provident Bank; I work permanent ten p.m. to eight a.m. I get home, sleep for a couple of hours, then I potter around, walk the dog and sleep for about six hours before getting up and going off to work."

"Oh, ok. I don't think I could do it that way, I've worked nights, but I'm a one long sleep type of person." Rae smiled, she was glad that there was an easy explanation as to why he hadn't come forward earlier.

"Can you tell me what you saw?" She had a pen in her hand and her heart was beating loudly with the anticipation of what she hoped was to come.

"Yes, of course. I live just about five minutes away from The Rough."

"The Rough?" Rae looked up from the notes she had only just started making.

"That's what locals call that piece of ground. Most of the households in my street have dogs, and we all tend to walk them on The Rough. I meet up with them some days, other days, like yesterday, I'm alone."

"And do you always go the same way?"

"Oh yes, I don't have a choice, my dog is a creature of habit. He charges off in exactly the same direction every time we go up there. Never any variation."

Rae smiled, for three-thirty in the morning the company was very pleasant. "And you saw the couple who were mentioned on the news?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Jason suddenly became serious. "I was tramping along behind Mutley and I heard talking."

Rae was totally focused as she spoke. "Mr. Freeman, I sure hope you were nosy."

The man looked down for a moment but then nodded his head. "I was. I didn't mean to be, but somehow the conversation was, I don't know, there was a tension, a sexual tension, and I couldn't drag myself away. Mutley is happy to wander by himself for hours, so I stood where I was, behind the bushes, and listened."

Rae gripped her pen even tighter in her hand, finally a break; maybe they could work out more of what happened from this witness.

Jason Freeman took a deep breath, and as he spoke Rae could picture the scene in her mind.

_"You don't mind if I brush your hair?" The male voice hadn't sounded at all worried that his companion wouldn't say yes._

_"No, it's wonderful, as long as you braid it back up before we start home. I don't like it to be loose when I'm riding."_

_"Don't you worry about that, it won't be a problem." _

_"Do you ride out of these stables very often?"_

_"No, not at all, but I saw them on my way back into town the other day, recognized the name of the proprietors and thought I'd try them out."_

Rae looked up sharply, but said nothing. Jason didn't notice and carried on talking.

_"Why were you out of town?"_

_"I had to get away for a while. LA was closing in on me. So I went to __Colorado__, then __Florida__New Mexico__."_

_"Wow, lucky you."_

_"You have beautiful hair."_

"I could hear the sound of kissing then, and I … I wanted to leave, but well, part of me wanted to stay hidden, to … to indulge in a little voyeurism." The young man didn't look too embarrassed, and Rae wondered how often he indulged in 'a little voyeurism'.

"_I don't usually … mmm, I don't want …"_

"She didn't put up much of a fight y'know and they kissed and … cuddled for a while, before they started to talk again." Rae nodded her head and then with a quick turn of the page carried on writing, learning about their killer's past in more detail than they had up until that moment been able to.

Twenty minutes later she held her hand up to pause Mr. Freeman's tale. "Sorry, I just need to stretch for a moment."

"That's ok, I'm about done anyhow. Mutley barked about then and they both looked up."

_"What was that? Where's … where's my shirt? Maybe we had better get back." The woman's voice sounded a little concerned._

_"No, I don't think so, not yet." _

_"Ow, you're hurting me."_

_"I thought you liked me playing with your hair, I like hair, especially blonde hair."_

"I started to move away then, I know they didn't see me. I heard raised voices a little later, just as I was getting to the sidewalk and putting Mutley's leash back on. I … I thought I heard a scream, but I was so tired by then that I put it out of my mind. I should have realised, he said he liked blonde hair … I should have realised."

"Maybe, but you were out walking your dog, you weren't expecting to come across anything remotely dangerous." Rae paused for a moment, knowing that she would feel awful if she found herself in the same position. "Mr. Freeman, I'll get this typed up, if you want to wait I can do it, or if you come in again later in the day my partner may have some questions for you."

"That would be best, I need to get back to work, I said I would only be about an hour or so. I … I hope I've been some help. Do you think I could have saved that young woman if I'd gone back when she screamed?"

Rae thought for a moment, knowing somehow that this man wouldn't want a glib answer.

"Maybe. She was stabbed more than once. But I can't say for certain that she would have lived."

Jason nodded his head before getting to his feet and smoothing down his jacket. He held his hand out to Rae who took it gratefully. "Thank you for coming forward; it's not an easy thing to do."

"No, it's not. I'll call back in on my way home from work, Detective."

Rae smiled and then watched as the young man made his way out of the interview room. She knew that he would carry Leigh's death on his conscience for a while, but now she had fourteen women's deaths on hers, and it was beginning to weigh far too heavily.

ooo

Jo watched her husband drive away a little after half past seven with Daniel sitting next to him. Although it meant that she was going to be separated from her family for the next six or so hours, she loved to see them leave together and knew that Steve got great pleasure from running his son to school.

Jo had a hospital appointment at one, and planned to do a little shopping before that. Now she was almost six months pregnant Jo had decided that she should grab her fears with both hands and push them away. To that end she was going to buy a stroller and crib for the baby. The things that she had bought for the nursery they had now had been for Eliana initially and then Anneya. They would remain there for Damita to use, the new baby would have its own room, and Jo could see no problem in indulging in a little retail therapy to furnish it properly.

The store, Momma's Little Helper, was a treasure trove for new parents, or more correctly, new rich parents. If it was suitable for a child over three they didn't stock it. The staff, almost all female but with a few token males for nervous fathers-to-be, wore smart dark suits with diaper pins as their identification badges.

The young woman who made her way towards Jo with a smile on her face had 'Ashton' written on a pink edged tag attached to the pin, which, on closer inspection, Jo could see, had a diamante clasp.

"Good morning, Madam, how may I help you today?"

"I would like to look at baby furniture. My baby is due in three months an' I need to furnish the nursery."

If Ashton thought Jo had left things a little late she didn't say a word, instead she nodded her head and indicated over to her left with her hand. "If you would like to come this way then, Madam."

Jo looked around her at the beautiful things and knew that she was going to find all that she needed right here.

ooo

The emergency room was quiet when Jesse arrived just before ten and he headed straight for the doctors' lounge, hoping to grab a coffee and a chat before his shift started in earnest.

Alex was sitting at the table reading a magazine but he hastily closed it up as he saw his friend enter. "Hey, Jess, how's it going?"

"Um, fine, fine, thanks." Jesse wondered what Alex was hiding, but decided that, for the time being, he wouldn't ask. The young man was usually almost transparent in his dealings with everything and everyone deserved a few secrets.

"There's a parcel for you at the nurses' station." He stood up, "Want me to go get it for you?"

"Sure, thanks." Jesse watched as Alex, with the magazine now folded up in his white coat pocket, headed out of the door and knew that when he returned the pocket would be empty.

She watched the parcel being handed over and was disappointed, how was she supposed to see how pleased he would be, see how he would suddenly realise that she was serious, if he didn't open the gifts in the hallway?

Alex made his way, slowly, back to the lounge, thinking all the time as he did so. There was something that bothered him about the package, he didn't know what it was, but there was definitely something.

"Be careful, ok. As Rae would say, this gives me the whim whams." Alex handed it over, and then waited as Jesse began to undo the wrapping.

ooo

Steve's trip to the forgery section hadn't improved his mood, and he had stomped up to his desk and sat glowering at anyone foolish enough to make eye contact with him. Rae had made him a coffee and then, quietly left that and a manila folder on the blotter in front of him without a word. Equally silently he had taken a sip of drink and then begun to look at the papers now held in his left hand.

The smile had gotten bigger and bigger as Steve read through the report, then he had spoken to Mr. Freeman on the phone and his day had improved even more.

"I guess I'm gonna have to check his record to see if he's been prosecuted as a Peeping Tom, but this helps, Rae, this really helps."

"How could she have not known who he was? These details, or some of them, are common knowledge." Rae ran her hand through her hair; she was suddenly tired and beginning to regret her early start.

"I don't know, but until we talk to her folks we're not likely to find out. She isn't local, or at least we are gonna have to travel to speak to her parents."

"Oh." Rae said just one word, the vision of what had happened the last time she had travelled with Steve to interview someone flooding into her brain and scaring her as it always did.

Steve saw the look on Rae's face change as he spoke and understood instantly what the problem was. He reached out to where she was sitting on the edge of his desk and gently touched her arm. "Are you ok with that? I can ask Cheryl."

"No, no it's fine; I'll see this through if it kills me!" She shuddered, "Sorry, bad choice of words."

"You think?" Steve shook his head, "He seems to have unburdened himself to Leigh, and I don't see this being any different to his other killings, what do you think?"

"No, I agree, he's opening up, telling this woman things he can't tell any living soul, because, of course, before he's finished with her she won't be living either. You know, Freeman couldn't have made this up, not all of it, certainly not the part about what happened to his mother. This has to be genuine.

"It will be far easier for us when places no longer take cash; this guy never pays for anything any other way. He must have it stashed under a mattress somewhere though, because I sure as hell can't find it anywhere." Rae sighed deeply; she had been searching bank accounts for months, and had contacted over three hundred branches herself. The information she'd had was sketchy, at least it had been when she started her search, and so it had been easier, although not quicker, to call each one individually. All she had asked initially each time was whether they had an account for one of three names once that was out of the way it got more difficult. Rae had wanted information on whether one of the same three names had been used to draw cash from an account held at another bank or branch. So far she had come up empty and had grown to dislike bank managers and under-managers intensely.

"Wanna go ride a horse?" The suggestion caught Rae totally by surprise and she began to laugh.

"What?"

"Do you want to go ride a horse? A perfectly legitimate question I would have thought." His eyes were laughing, as was he, as his phone began to ring and Steve leant over to pick it up. "Sloan here. What?" The laughter, the joking, was gone, "No, I'll come right over. Thanks, Dad."

"Steve?"

"I have to go over to the hospital, Rae; I don't know how long I'll be."

"Why, Steve, is it Jesse or Texas? I'll come too." Rae stood as she spoke, but saw her partner shake his head.

"No, I want you here, get Freeman back in to sign the statement, then go to Jo's stables, interview the woman who took the booking and the one who helped them saddle up. I should be back by then." Steve didn't make eye contact with his partner, knowing that his information would only hurt and upset her.

"Steve, please, tell me, is it Jesse? I need to come, Steve." Her words were so full of anguish that he nearly gave in, but his dad's words were still playing in his head and so he spoke again, a little more forcefully than he would normally have done.

"I gave you an instruction, Detective, I expect it to be carried out, is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir." Rae turned away, something was wrong, she knew it, but she also knew that she wasn't wanted, and that hurt and worried her even more.

ooo

The shopping trip had gone way better than she had imagined it would. She was now the proud owner of a beautiful pram, ten organic blankets to keep her baby warm, the most beautiful nursery furniture she had ever seen, wrought iron, delicately shaped, and with a hint of gold in it. She knew that Steve would love it all, although Jo realised that the playhouse she had bought for the yard might take some explaining away, but it looked like a dream home and she just couldn't resist it, especially when the sales lady had said that the Queen of England had a similar one when she was a child. Jo knew that she would keep the $19,000.00 it had cost her a secret, that was something Steve definitely wouldn't understand.

Jo was smiling to herself as she walked along the sidewalk towards where her car was parked. As she turned the final corner she stopped dead in her tracks, her heart suddenly racing, and the blood pounding in her ears. Over the months she had thought she'd seen him, just a glimpse here or there, but had convinced herself that she was imagining things, that other people must look similar to him, but now, now she knew that the man just in front of her was Wayne McCauley. She saw him tip his hat to her and then the shopping mall began to blur and fade as silently she fell to the ground.

ooo

"Jesse, calm down, just sit and take a deep breath, then try again to tell me what happened." For a moment Steve wasn't sure if his friend would comply or not, but then, with relief, he watched him collapse into the chair behind him.

"Rae, she didn't come, did she?" Jesse looked up, the anxiety suddenly combining with the anger and fear already there.

"No, she didn't, I sent her off to interview the staff at the riding stables. She'll be gone 'til mid afternoon." The atmosphere seemed to lose a little of its tension, as Steve imparted the information.

"Now, I need you to tell me what happened." Steve sat next to Jesse and rested his tablet of paper on the table in front of him. Next to it was the parcel, unwrapped but covered in both brown and patterned paper. He watched as Jesse did as he was told, and gradually his friend began to calm down; he took a drink of his coffee and then, finally, began to speak coherently.

"Alex told me I had a parcel, he went to get it for me and when I opened it …" Jesse paused, closing his eyes as he did so.

"Jess?" Mark moved across from where he had been refilling his and Steve's coffee mugs and placed a hand on his younger friend's shoulder.

"Sorry." Again Jesse took in a deep breath and then pushed the parcel closer to Steve. "Rae'll freak when she sees it."

Steve pulled on a pair of latex gloves and then carefully peeled back the paper to find two gifts still wrapped and another one that had been opened. Lying inside the ripped wrapping paper was a beautifully ornate silver frame and under the glass Steve could clearly see a photo of Eliana and Anneya playing in the front yard at Oak Place apparently on their own as they were the only two in the picture. For a moment Steve just stared; it was lovely, and both little girls, having no idea they were being watched, were playing with the skittles that he knew bore his likeness as well as that of their parents.

"We never leave them unattended, Steve, never." Jesse was shaking, the shock of the photo nowhere near as great as the note that accompanied it. He pointed to it with his right hand and watched almost hypnotised as Steve picked it up.

_Dear Jesse,_

_You have beautiful children, but even in __Beverly Hills__ things can happen to them, especially if they are left alone. The youngest is deaf; she would never hear an attacker or kidnapper coming up behind her._

_They deserve better than they are getting, and when you realise that then I know we will be together._

_I love you,_

_Susan._

"Jesse, I don't think it's a threatening letter."

"What? How can you say that? Look at it; she's saying that things can happen to children, especially deaf ones. 'The youngest is deaf', does she think I don't know that?"

"She signed it, Jesse." Steve indicated the signature, just the Christian name and easy to make out. "If you are threatening someone you don't usually sign your own name. Let me speak with her, maybe she'll back off."

"Open these first. I want to know what she sent my daughters." Jesse wanted to rip the paper off and view the gifts, but he also wanted to just throw them in the trash and stop thinking about all the terror that had engulfed him as he read her words. He would never forget the helplessness he'd felt when Eliana had been taken from the hospital, kidnapped because of who she was, and who her mother was. "And then I intend to take out a restraining order to keep her away from me and my family."

Jesse had got to his feet and was walking up and down the small room. He had told Steve to open the parcels, but now he couldn't watch, his emotions were in turmoil and he was unable to keep still. As he walked he heard the sound of ripping paper, and then, when the room went silent again he turned and stared at the table.

He could see two similar items; each one was a cuff of material with a Velcro fastening attached to another cuff of material via a curly plastic cord. The second piece had one of the children's names on it. Once again there was a note, this time addressed to each child.

_Dear Eliana,_

Steve began reading out the first one, and found that this time, as he said his goddaughter's name, his anger built.

_This little device is called a wrist link, if you have the part with your name on it on your arm and your daddy has the other on his, then you will never get lost or separated from your family._

_Lots of love_

_Susan_

"How dare she! How dare she write to my children? That's it, Steve, no more Mr Nice Guy, I'm gonna go speak to her, right now." He paused for a moment as a thought crossed his mind. "Look, look there, both of these have names on, you can't get ready made stuff with Eliana or Anneya on them, they aren't common enough. These were specially made. My God, what does she think she's doing?"

The fight had left him, he didn't rush towards the nurses' station, he didn't even leave the room, instead he flopped back down onto the chair and just looked at his friend.

"I think," Steve paused, wanting to word it right, so Jesse didn't freak. "I think I will leave speaking with her," he shook his head, Jesse was squirming in his seat, but to his credit he wasn't saying a word.

"_Doctor Sloan, to the ER STAT, Doctor Mark Sloan, to the ER STAT."_

The disembodied voice floated through the air, and with an apologetic grin Mark made his way out of the room, "I'll see you later, Son."

"Sure, Dad, bye." Steve followed him with his eyes, just for a moment and then turned back to his friend. "I'll arrange for her to be picked up by a black and white and brought to the station, maybe that way she'll realise what she is doing and you won't have to get a restraining order. I'll make sure Rae is out of the way though."

"That would be a good idea … Mark? What's the matter?" Jesse saw his old friend come back into the room looking worriedly at his son who turned as he heard Jesse speak.

"Dad? What is it?"

"Steve, it's Jo coming in, Son. She collapsed in Beverly Hills, the paramedics say her blood pressure is sky high, I'm sorry."

Steve stood up as he felt the cold tendrils of fear begin to envelope him and, not knowing what to do or say, he just followed blindly behind his father as Mark returned to the ER to await his daughter-in-law's arrival.


	5. Chapter 5

05 A Little Knowledge 

Rae had to admit the stables were far more luxurious than those she remembered attending as a child. The journey to get to them hadn't been quite so glamorous then either. The country roads of Kent in her childhood had been beautiful, the orchards and hop fields spreading out as far as she could see, but they had also been muddy and foggy in the spring and autumn, as well as cold in the winter and not much warmer in the summer. She still had to travel in the fog in California, but the cold was a part of her past she didn't want back.

Rae had called ahead, hoping that the two employees wouldn't be working and she could drive to Community General instead to tell Steve and find out what was going on. Unfortunately that plan wasn't going to work, but as soon as she was finished with her designated tasks Rae had every intention of going to find out what was happening at the hospital.

"Detective Yeager, won't you please come through?" The voice wasn't friendly, and Rae wondered fleetingly if the woman knew who she was and the relationship she had with the owners of the stables. She followed the sound and found herself in a tack room that was also used as an office. Once again comparing things to her past Rae breathed in the wonderful smell of leather and saddle soap, which pervaded the room, and looked at the way the space was separated into two halves. There were saddles, all on individual racks, up the wall next to her with names underneath them. She could see the one that said Jo Sloan and smiled to herself. It was by far the most ornate one there, but it was also obviously well used and well loved. The other half of the room was set out as an office with a black leather couch, an impressive dark wood desk and a computer. Rae had a feeling that this was where Texas would work when she was at the stables.

"I spoke to the officer yesterday; I don't understand why I need to speak with you as well." The tone was now definitely belligerent and the woman, who had sat down at the smaller, more modern, desk underneath an arch of saddles, stared at Rae with open hostility.

"Do you have a problem with my being here?" Rae couldn't understand why the meeting seemed to have gotten off on the wrong foot.

"No, apart from the fact that you were here yesterday."

Realising that the 'you' was obviously the officer from the previous day Rae tried a smile. "Ma'am, this is far more than a missing person investigation now, and any information you give me could be vital in apprehending a very dangerous man."

"Oh." For a moment or two there was silence in the office, and Rae could hear the pleasantly familiar sounds of horses in loose boxes and birds in the trees outside the window. "What did he do? He just seemed like a regular guy when he was here."

Rae took a breath and, seeing the woman indicate the chair next to the desk with her hand, sat down before beginning to speak. "We have reason to believe that he murdered his date."

"Oh, my God." The silence descended again, but this time it wasn't quite so pleasant, and as Rae watched she saw the woman who, she realised, was probably in her early fifties digest the information and then began to speak.

"I'm sorry I was rude when you arrived. Having the cops around is bad for business, I … I thought that Liz had over-reacted when she called you in and wasn't happy to see you twice. Guess I was wrong."

"Liz?" Rae looked a little bemused, but then remembered the report she had read before setting out. "You mean Elizabeth Price?"

"Yes, that's right. Do you want me to call her? We can speak with you together."

"No, no, that's fine, I won't mess up two peoples' day at once, I far prefer to ruin them separately." Her companion was smiling as she finished speaking and Rae was glad to see that her attempt to lighten things a little was appreciated.

"What I need for you to do is tell me, in your own words, what you saw the couple doing while they were here. Anything and everything, because even the smallest thing could help."

"Ok, but why don't I just show you the security tape?"

ooo

"Steve, sit down, for a moment or two. You know Mark will come get you as soon as he can." Jesse had gone to join his friend in the trauma suite and Amanda, putting aside her work for a little while, had come to sit in the doctors' lounge with an extremely agitated Steve.

"I don't understand, Amanda, she was fine when I left this morning, I … I wouldn't have taken Daniel if I thought otherwise. Did I miss something, was she sick and I didn't see it?" The pacing had stopped as Steve began to speak, but as soon as he was done it started up again and this time he carried on walking as he spoke once more.

"What if it's the pre-eclampsia, what if she loses the baby, or I lose both of them? I … I don't think I could bear that."

"Steve, you're getting yourself in a state when you have no idea what's wrong. Please, Honey, come sit, whatever happens Jo will need you, but she'll need you to be calm and in control."

He knew she was right and so, slowly, Steve sat on the saggy sofa and felt his friend take his hand into her own smaller and much softer one. The contact almost finished him, he felt his throat constrict and his eyes prick with tears but he willed himself to gain the calmness and control that Amanda had mentioned and gradually he was able to turn and smile his thanks for the comfort and advice.

They were still sitting in the same positions when, ten minutes later, Mark came into the doctors' lounge.

"Dad!" the calmness disappeared in a moment, his heart was beating loudly and suddenly the fear was almost overpowering.

"She's on her way up to the maternity unit to have an ultrasound, but her blood pressure is very high, and she has protein in her urine. That isn't why she collapsed, but it sure isn't helping."

"Why did she collapse then?" Steve looked at his father, his face showing the vulnerability and distress he was suffering.

"She said something about seeing … Wayne?" Mark looked confused but Steve was furious.

"What? What the hell is he doing back here?" The anger was instantly raging, his inability to help his wife channelled into hating the man who was to blame, in his eyes, for all of Jo's previous problems.

"I don't know who he is, but now isn't the time to worry about him. Jo is gonna need you, Son, she's scared, scared for your child, and right now I have nothing that I can say to assure her that everything will be ok." Mark looked at his feet, his own helplessness as apparent as Steve's had been.

ooo

Rae couldn't believe it; it had all been so simple. The head groom, whose name was Frances Nash, had taken Rae into a room situated just off the office they had been in where a young man who, Rae discovered, was called Jim was sitting looking at a bank of screens. There were four in all, showing the main entranceway, the stable yard, and two different views of the stables themselves.

"Wow, I have to say it never occurred to me that you would have a security system like this here." Rae was quite frankly amazed and knew she sounded it.

"There's an awful lot of money tied up in these stables, but this system is new, we're gradually upgrading it, last week we only had three cameras."

Rae wondered why the young woman from the previous day hadn't mentioned the cameras to the uniformed officer, but she had to admit that at the time it hadn't made any difference to their investigation, and at least this way she had the tape right in front of her to take back to the precinct.

"If you look at that monitor there," the voice broke into Rae's thoughts and she looked in the indicated direction. "Jim, can you hold it on Sahara's stall, please?"

"Sure thing, Ms Nash."

The head of a dark sandy coloured horse was looking over the stable door and Rae smiled.

"That's Sahara, she's in foal right now, the sire was second in the Kentucky Derby, and Sahara's won a good few races herself. I reckon that if it's a colt we could get about $50,000 for it."

Rae let out a low whistle, she had a feeling her old stables would have been glad of $50.00 for her mount, who had been old and ponderous and called Sebastian.

As they carried on looking a Chestnut head appeared in the next stall, "Oh, she's beautiful."

"She is, isn't she? Her name is Copper's Delight and she didn't quite cut it as a racehorse, she belongs to one of the owners of the stables."

Rae smiled again; she had no doubt whose horse it was, and also had every intention of mentioning that she had seen her when she next spoke to her partner.

After watching the way the security system worked for another few minutes Rae requested the film she was most interested in, and the young man stood up to go and get it. As he did so Rae realised that he obviously had ambitions to be a jockey, he was tiny, no more than five feet, maybe five feet one, and for once in her life Rae felt tall.

The interview that she had with Elizabeth Price didn't produce any new information and after a walk around the yard, mainly Rae had to admit so that she could see Steve's horse, she was in the car and on her way back to the station. She had tried her partner's cell phone but it had been switched off, so she had called Jesse instead, and now, as she sat in traffic she was listening in horror to what her husband was telling her about Texas.

ooo

Jo lay in bed in the private suite she had used twice before at Community General, but this time there was a nurse on duty sitting just outside the door and Steve knew that he only had to press the buzzer and his dad or Jesse would come rushing up to join him.

His wife was fast asleep, although when he had finally been allowed to see her, she had been wide-awake and clearly terrified. Her reaction when he walked towards her had shocked Steve and he realised that she was frightened of him as well.

The tale she told him had at first amazed him, then he had gotten angry, but finally he had conceded that he might, if he had been in her position, have done exactly the same things.

"Jo, Honey, are you alright?" He had rushed into the room, ignoring the nurse, and not even saying hi to his father.

_"I … I don't know, Steve, I'm so sorry." She had looked away; seemingly unable to make eye contact with him and it had been then that Steve knew that there was more to worry about than the situation they were in right now._

_His dad had placed a hand on his arm then and smiled. "Jo has told me that it's ok for me to share my findings with you, so if you want to take a seat." He had done just that, amazed that there was even a question about his not knowing everything._

_Mark pulled one of the chairs from around the small dining table in the suite over so that he too could sit, and then with a sigh began to talk._

_"I'm going to keep Jo in hospital for at least three days, it may be considerably longer, I want to monitor her for the next twenty-four hours, and run some tests…" He had paused and Steve had jumped into the silence._

_"So this is pre-eclampsia? You haven't said it is, but what else could it be?"_

_"Yes, I think that's what it is." Again his dad had stopped speaking, and Steve had seen an almost imperceptible look between his father and Jo._

_"What, Dad, Jo? What's going on?"_

_"Nothin', there is nothin' goin' on. Mark, do I have to stay? What about Daniel, I need to get home, it's not Michael anymore, I don't want him stayin' with Juan."_

_"That's not a problem, Honey, he can come and keep his old grandpa company for a few days." Mark smiled as he patted Jo's hand and Steve had known that, although the reason for Daniel having to go to the beach might be serious, his dad would enjoy his company enormously. _

_"Ok, now, I want to take your blood pressure again, Sweetie, you've been lying down for over thirty minutes, it might even be a little lower." He had watched as gently and lovingly his father placed the cuff around Jo's arm and taken the reading, and then after noting it down he looked at Steve again._

_"She's on medication to lower her BP, and we'll keep monitoring it to make sure it's doing as it's told!" His dad had smiled, and despite himself Steve had smiled back but the smile had disappeared as his father carried on speaking. "The other problem we have is that the baby isn't growing as it should."_

_Steve hadn't known what to say and so he had just waited knowing that he would have it all explained to him._

For a moment Steve looked around him, he hadn't known the symptoms for pre-eclampsia, not all of them, and he knew that was because he too had been afraid, afraid that too much knowledge would be a dangerous thing, and that if he knew what to look for he would find it, every minute of every day. His dad's words though made him wish that he had read up on it, because maybe, just maybe he would have spotted what it was Jo had been trying to hide.

"In the two weeks since Jo saw us last there have been a few worrying developments, the problem is pre-eclampsia can be a silent illness and in its early stages you can be unaware of it."

_"And you think that's what happened here?" Steve found that he wasn't totally convinced that was true. "Jo's been through this before, shouldn't she have known, or you?"_

_"No, not necessarily.__ She did say that the baby wasn't moving around as much as before, and I gave her the kick chart." His father had looked at him then and seen the shock in his eyes. "You didn't know?"_

_"No, I didn't know." He hadn't known what else to say either and so he had remained silent._

_"Jo has a Doppler pick up on and that's registering the baby's heartbeat, which seems fine right now." Mark was checking a monitor as he spoke, and Steve had watched him disconnect the equipment._

_"Thank you, that's not the most comfortable bit of kit is it?" Jo had wriggled a little to get more comfortable._

_"No, but it's a very good bit of kit." Mark had paused as he moved the monitor out of his way and when he spoke again his voice was full of concern._

_"The baby is small for its age; again, all we can do right now is keep an eye on things. It's not bad enough to go for an intervention, but it may get that way. At the moment I want to leave it, let the lungs develop as much as possible."_

_"Intervention?" for a moment he had been confused again but then he realised, "a caesarean? Dad, No!"_

_"Steve, even with all the equipment and knowledge that we have, we could still be put in a position where there is nothing we can do except deliver the child and pray. I'm sorry." Steve had known that he was, had known that the sadness in his eyes was for all of them and a situation he couldn't control._

_"Do you have any other questions, either of you?" Mark had looked from one to the other of them, and waited patiently._

_Steve had found that his mind was a total blank, he couldn't think of anything to say even though he knew that there must be a hundred things to ask and so he shook his head mutely and saw his wife do the same._

_"Jo, Honey, I'll come back and do a urine test in about an hour, and I know you won't want to go home, Son, so I'll see you then." As his father had leant over to give Jo a kiss, Steve was sure he had whispered something to her, but whatever it was she hadn't shown any reaction to his words._

They had talked, but about inconsequential things, and Steve had wondered whether Jo was going to say anything to him about how she was feeling or what was happening to her, but finally she had grown very quiet and then almost whispered to him.

_"I'm sorry, Steve, I should have said somethin' before."_

"About what?" He had struggled to hear her, but that was mainly because the whispered words had been spoken with her head turned from him.

_"I've been gettin' headaches an' things, but I didn't tell anyone."_

_"What? Why ever not? " He couldn't believe what he was hearing, the irresponsibility of it shocked him into a stunned silence and for a while they had said nothing to each other._

_"I kept tellin' myself that it wasn't bad enough to worry over, the headaches would go if I took Tylenol, an' I only got the flashin' lights in front of my eyes once or twice."_

_"Jo! How could you do that? You put yourself and the baby at risk. You knew the symptoms, more than anyone you know what can happen; I can't believe you would push all that away."_

He had been confused by her actions, by her words, he still was, and for the first time since their marriage a gulf had emerged between them, when he knew, instinctively, they needed each other most and he had resolved to remove it right away.

_There had been tears on Jo's face, and she had looked so sad, so guilty that he had swept her up into his arms and just held her, but finally she had pulled back and begun to speak again._

_"I wanted so much for everythin' to go how it should, I wanted to feel just like a normal pregnant woman, an' when I did I could convince myself that the other times were just made worse because I was rememberin' what happened before. That's why I went shoppin' today; I wanted to be buyin' things for my baby in person, in the store, not over the internet because I couldn't leave the house."_

_Steve hadn't realised that she had been shopping and felt a little hurt that they hadn't gone and bought things together, but he didn't know what she had purchased, it could just be diapers and a few sleepers. _

_"But if you were feeling ill you should have stayed home, we could have gone together at the weekend."_

_"I felt fine, but I … I guess I didn't think, I'm sorry."_

_"And __Wayne__, Dad said you saw __Wayne__. What's he doing suddenly back in town after all this time?" He had seen her look away again and had known, instantly, that this wasn't sudden at all. _

_"You've seen him before. Is there anything in your life that you're sharing with me right now? Because it sure doesn't feel that way." He had realized he was shouting and had risen to his feet, moving across the room, increasing the gap between them once more, trying, unsuccessfully, to get his feelings under control._

_"Is everything alright, Mrs Sloan?" The nurse had come in quietly and Steve had spun round._

_"Yes, thank you. Everythin's just fine."_

_"Oh yeah, everything is just dandy!" He had shouted and the nurse had moved towards him. _

_"I shall have to ask you to leave, Sir, if you continue to raise your voice. Your wife needs a quiet and restful atmosphere." The nurse's words had calmed him a little and he had returned to his chair and sat down._

_Jo had waited until they were alone again and then continued the conversation._

_"I didn't tell you because I knew you would react in just that way. The man is a maggot; he doesn't deserve your anger or your time. Besides, until today I wasn't sure whether or not I had seen him, it was just a glimpse each time y'know, nothin' I could be certain of."_

_"But today, today you were sure?"_

_"Oh yeah, I might have passed out at his feet, but I was sure first."_

She had slid off to sleep gradually after that and Steve sat, silently watching her, letting his mind go back over things that had happened, things which had been said, trying to see if he had missed any clues as to how she was feeling, and whether or not he should have realised that Wayne was back. In the end he had accepted that, homicide detective or not, there hadn't been much for him to spot. Jo was obviously far better at keeping things from him than he had thought.

Steve also knew that if the tables had been turned he might have been doing the very same thing. He was a notoriously bad patient, always wanting to be home the moment he arrived in the place, unless he was only there for lunch, and he was very rarely totally honest with either his dad or Jesse if it meant that he could leave when he wanted to rather than when they suggested. Belatedly he realised that he couldn't in all honesty blame his wife for keeping things secret from him. He had never been responsible for the life of another growing within him though, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that his main focus would have been on that little life.

He carried on thinking, he wasn't the one who had lost a child, he had no real idea of the devastation it would cause, the never-ending heartache, the life long wondering how that child would have turned out. That had to affect your outlook, the way you faced future pregnancies, some people, he guessed, would take to their beds and not move for nine months, others, like his wife, would pretend that nothing was wrong, everything was fine, because if they believed it then maybe it would be that way.

Steve looked across at Jo sleeping peacefully and his eyes rested on the sight of her swollen belly underneath the covers. As she lay there he saw the blanket shift slightly as the baby made itself a little more comfortable and he smiled. The first time he had felt his child move had been one of the most wonderful of his life and as he sat there he was transported back to his own breakfast room on a warm morning.

_"Ow!" _

_"Honey, what's the matter, are you alright?" He had been out of his seat in an instant as Jo yelped._

_"Yeah, but I think I'm carryin' a linebacker! He or she sure is antsy this mornin'."_

_Jo had her hand on her stomach but she took it away and then gently placed his there instead. For a moment he had been able to feel nothing, but then, just as he was about to remove his hand there was something, at first just a slight quiver, almost like butterfly wings, and he willed it to move again. When it did it was stronger, almost as if the baby was pushing against his hand and he carefully increased his own pressure and again the small shudder was there, but this time it was even stronger, and he could see the bump moving of its own volition as he felt something, a foot, a hand, he didn't know, against his palm._

Steve had stayed motionless, almost afraid to breathe, the sensations so new to him, so wonderful, and in that instant he fell, totally, completely and absolutely, in love with his unborn child and had known that he would stay that way forever.


	6. Chapter 6

06 **Home**** at Last**

Although she had wanted to rush to the hospital Rae had known that her duty came first. They had waited far too long for the information she had in her hands for it to be left until morning. She poured herself a cup of decaffeinated coffee, grabbed a Danish from a box on the refreshment table in the squad room and then made herself comfortable in one of the video viewing rooms at the back of the homicide department. The memories of the last occasion she had spent sitting watching a security tape over and over again however, were too fresh in her mind and she saw Elizabeth Masters standing in a bank elevator, saw the killer as she moved to crack her neck and then as that vision came to an end it blurred into the moment when she had known she was about to be shot.

For a short while Rae had been unable to function, the recollections taking her breath away and leaving her shaking. The bullet hitting her was a memory she didn't have, but the aftermath, the pain, the fear, the waking up in a strange hospital being unable to breathe, unable to speak or remember, as well as the long hard road to recovery, they were all still with her, and she knew, without a doubt, that she was lucky to be alive.

The fourteen women from LA weren't so lucky, and it was that thought which haunted her and it was those women who invaded her dreams. The fear inside her which had seemed to cripple her after her recent injury had receded a little, but it was still there, still gnawing away at her, and Rae knew that once this case was solved, once Dominic Little or whatever his real name was, was behind bars, she would have to re-evaluate her career and her future.

Taking a drink Rae knew that there was no way to avoid the task ahead of her, she also knew that the video would show the last chance that Leigh Ann had to save herself, but with no idea of the danger she was in, the young woman hadn't been able to take that chance.

Rae quickly wound the video forward until it was at the correct place and then, as it was slowed to ordinary speed, Rae watched the man they were after as he talked and joked with his next victim. She looked just at him because, although her initial thoughts had been for the prey, when she had a chance to see their man Rae found that she was unable to take her eyes off of him.

He had been confident, but not overly so, he had kept a gentlemanly distance as his date had been helped onto her horse by one of the grooms, and then, as they had finally moved off together, he had waved a cheerful goodbye to the stable hands and smiled to himself.

Rae wasn't certain what she had expected to see, she had already known that he was good looking, sure of himself, he was a monster without horns, without fangs, but he was deadly just the same. For a moment Rae wondered where he had kept his knife, but as she had looked at him again she had known. He had knee length riding boots on, the weapon would have been hidden in them, it was only supposition, but she knew she was right.

Running the tape back Rae began to watch again, this time keeping her eyes firmly on Leigh Ann. The young woman was obviously enjoying herself, the smile on her face, the way she stood, carried herself, all pointing out the pleasurable time she was having. Rae realised that Dominic had a pair of saddlebags over the rump of his horse and she made a note on the tablet of paper beside her to get them checked. Once she had done that Rae ran the tape back once more, this time preparing herself to watch it frame by frame, aiming to find the clearest picture of their killer that she could. By the end of the day she had every intention of having a flyer ready that she could flood LA with. She didn't quite have him yet, but she would have, nothing or no one would stand in her way, and as that certainty filled her mind she also knew that it would be her last case at least for a little while; suddenly she wanted her life back.

ooo

Michael took a deep breath and looked through the information he had gathered once again. In his mind there was no doubt, only one person could have arranged for the credit card fraud, the problem was proving it.

He had worked for a police lieutenant long enough to realise that instinct was a wonderful thing, but proof was better. The dates fitted his belief, but alone they weren't sufficient. Already he could hear a defending council pointing out that Jo could quite easily have arranged the fraud herself for that period of time just so that there was another person to blame. The fact that she was never absent from the top 100 richest women in America and had no need to obtain goods through deception would be neither here nor there.

Michael had been in contact with Gilbert Sholte, Jo's lawyer, and he in turn had called a number of stores and other businesses to enquire as to the length of time they kept their security tapes. The replies had varied from a week to a month, neither of which was long enough, and Michael knew that any tangible evidence was long gone.

His sister had given him all the details of the purchases she was supposed to have made and Michael wondered whether it could be possible that the perpetrator had kept any of the items. He seriously doubted it, none of them were things that would have been needed, all of them being purchased for their price range rather than their usefulness, as far as he was concerned anyhow.

Nothing that had been bought needed to be delivered, nothing that cost over $100.00 either. If a credit check had been made then the unpaid bills would have been picked up and the transaction denied. Michael also knew that no five year guarantees or service agreements would have been entered into and he groaned, every avenue had been closed off, there was no way to get proof of what had been done and without that proof there was no assurances that it wouldn't happen again, and again, and each time it could be more serious than before.

ooo

The smile hadn't left his face for almost three hours, he had finally got his revenge, or at least a little of it. Wayne hadn't meant to be spotted quite so soon; his plan had been to follow her home, drive close behind her, show her that he was there but that she could do nothing to stop him invading her life whenever he pleased. He also planned to show others he was around, others who knew him, that butler, her cop husband, and that bastard child. All of them would still know he meant business, that he could enter and leave their lives at will. The smile grew wider and then he laughed, and if he had been seen or heard his evil intentions would have been apparent.

As Jo had fainted his original plan had disappeared, to be replaced by the sight of her lying, unconscious, for at least a minute or two, initially at his feet, and then, when a crowd had gathered, just a little way in front of him. They had made eye contact again before he had disappeared, and he had touched his hand to his Stetson and nodded his head slightly as he let people move in front of him to tend to her.

Wayne knew where she would be, that doctor, her father-in-law, worked at Community General, she wouldn't be any place other than there. The florist had been in the same shopping mall as the baby store she had been in and he had ducked inside to order the red roses before getting back into his car and driving back to his place. Now, as he downed another beer and waited for the wrestling to come on the TV, he leant back in his chair and once again went over the details of a job well done and then began to plan his next assault.

ooo

Alex had waited outside Daniel's school almost unable to believe his eyes. The car he had bought himself just before Christmas was his pride and joy, and he always felt good driving it around LA, but these cars, well they made his look like a heap.

As he sat, not quite as pleased as usual with his red BMW, the young doctor watched a woman of about thirty-five, maybe forty, climb gracefully out of a deep golden orange coloured, obviously brand new, Dodge Viper. For a moment Alex wondered whether he was supposed to wait for Daniel on the sidewalk and, realising that his young friend would be looking either for one of his parents or Juan, he decided that he too would leave the safe confines of his vehicle.

Daniel's face broke into a smile as he saw one of his oldest friends waiting for him outside school.

"You came in the BMW, right?"

"Well, it was that or your dad's bicycle."

"Dad has a bike?" Daniel was amazed, he wasn't sure he could imagine his father riding a bike, not even an exercise one.

"He does, so does your grandpa, they're both in the garage at the beach house with the other bikes. You must have seen them."

"Yeah, I have, I knew the dirt bike was Dad's, I never really thought about the other ones in there. It would be cool to go biking with him."

Alex paused watching as the idea took shape in Daniel's mind, enjoying the happiness he saw there, then with a sigh he unlocked his car and waited for Daniel to climb into the passenger seat. Once he was sure he was comfy and strapped in he started the engine and drove away, planning to stop at a nearby park to pass on the news about the young boy's mother knowing that it would destroy the pleasure he had seen in Daniel's face.

The tears had rushed unbidden to Daniel's eyes, he didn't have words to explain away the feelings he had knowing that his mother was in the hospital and that both she and the baby were in danger. Gradually though he had regained his composure and asked question after question of his friend. Alex had answered them all as honestly as he could, but although he knew the threats associated with pre-eclampsia, Jo wasn't his patient and he wasn't privy to the type of information Daniel wanted to know.

The journey to the hospital had then been undertaken in silence and Daniel had only just waited until the vehicle was parked before leaping from the passenger seat and rushing towards the main entrance to the building.

"My name is Daniel Sloan; can you tell me where my mom is please?" He stood, slightly out of breath, at the main reception desk trying not to tap his feet or fingers as he waited for the woman in front of him to provide him with the information he needed.

"What is your mother's name?" the woman, probably about fifty years old, smiled at the young man in front of her who, she could tell, was very upset.

"Jo, Josephine Sloan." Daniel looked around him, he couldn't see Alex, and that added to his confusion and worry.

"Is that S L O A N?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Daniel just wanted her to hurry and give him the information, but she seemed to be working almost in slow motion. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Alex smiling at him.

"You doing ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just finding out where Mom is."

"Your mother is in suite 5, you need to take the right-hand hallway down to the second set of elevators and go to the third floor … yes, Sir, can I help you?" She looked at Alex, and then smiled, "I'm sorry, Doctor, I didn't recognise you for a moment."

Alex just smiled, he was both thrilled and surprised that she had recognized him at all and, with a slightly lighter heart, he followed his younger friend on the journey to the elevators.

ooo

The rituals, all-important, so exciting and wondrous, had been played over in his mind many times in the last two days but at last Matthew knew that, for the time being at least, he was safe, safe to live his own life for a little while. Dominic would still be the dominant personality, but here, in the quiet sanctuary of the apartment, Matthew could indulge in his own thoughts and freedom, for a short time. The rituals though were becoming his too, and this time the excitement had crept into his soul showing him how Dominic thought and felt both about the killings and the aftermath.

Dominic's thoughts were frequently unwelcome visitors to his own mind, taking over and trying to snuff out his individuality, but now, in the peace and quiet of mid afternoon he was in charge and knew exactly what he needed to do.

The actions of his alter ego, the murderous actions, were all too real to him, whereas before he had been able to either shut them out or pretend they hadn't happened, he no longer had that luxury. The vision of blood flowing into the water at the Japanese gardens or soaking the blanket on the recent picnic were constant reminders of the fact that he was now as guilty as Dominic, was as culpable, as responsible, but instead of repulsing him, for the first time Matthew found himself excited by the knowledge, and taking his courage in both hands he made his way towards the closed door, wanting and needing to see and touch the treasures behind it.

ooo

Jesse had stopped by to see how Jo was faring at the end of his shift, but as he neared the door he heard Steve explaining things to his son and instead had just smiled and waved before returning to the elevator, and making his way down to the parking lot. Jesse hadn't seen Susan since he had opened the parcel, and now that his anger was spent he was glad. Losing his temper, or confronting her, wouldn't do him any good. He needed to be calm and rational when he spoke to her; the problem was that, even now, thinking over what she had said and done caused his rationality to desert him.

Once in his vehicle Jesse put a call through to Rae and was disappointed to find that she would be at least another couple of hours. He wished that she would share her work with him, but he was resigned to the fact that it was a part of her life that she didn't feel comfortable having him in, and so, knowing that Eliana would have been picked up from Sally's by Miss Vicki, Jesse decided to go to Bob's, make up some sauce and get a little caught up on paperwork.

There was a television installation company van outside the main entrance when he arrived which Jesse recognised as a company they had used in the past. A temporary screen had been installed for the Superbowl the previous year, and for the World Series. Jesse couldn't think of any major sporting events which were coming up and, annoyed that he couldn't just drive into one of the spaces by the door, made his way a little further down the lot and parking in the first empty slot he found before marching towards the entrance to find out what was going on. The sound of drilling could be heard as he opened the door, and the sight that met his eyes stopped him in his tracks. Two ladders were positioned at the rear of the restaurant; two tables had been moved out and were restricting the use of three others as well. That though was the least of Jesse's problems. The wall now had a huge framework on it and two large men in blue overalls were carefully placing a wide screen TV into the frame.

"Excuse me, can you tell me what you're doing?"

"Fixin' up the TVs you ordered."

Hearing the plural Jesse looked again and realised that the framework was big enough to hold two of the monster screens he could see.

To Jesse's surprise Alex came through from the kitchen, a phone in his hand. "I was just calling you."

"I thought you were at the hospital with Daniel."

"He didn't need me once he had his dad. Besides, I kind of think you might need me more."

The words hung ominously in the air and Jesse looked around himself again before trying to concentrate on what his friend was saying.

"According to the two guys over there, Steve ordered the TV's, COD, I explained that there was no way I could authorize the type of money they were talking about, but they said they were working to a tight schedule and began putting up the framework anyway."

"They started putting these things up without payment?" For a moment that fact amazed him more than the sight of the screens."

"You've used them before I guess you have a good credit rating. I didn't know what else to do so I figured the best thing was close the place, so I did that; the staff are out the back. I cancelled the reservations, and then I was trying to get through to you."

Jesse nodded, Alex had handled the problem to the best of his ability, but now it was up to him. He knew Steve had always wanted wide screen monitors to watch the ball games on, but he also knew, once they had bought Bob's, it had become apparent that they wouldn't fit in this type of place.

For a moment he paused, the TV was perched, a little precariously, on the top of the ladder and Jesse wasn't sure whether it would be better to let them attach the thing to the wall and then talk, or ask them to put it back on the floor. In the end the decision was made for him as one of the fitters said something to his co-worker and they carefully climbed back down to the base of the ladder.

"Can you just leave that for a moment and show me the work docket?" Jesse wasn't really sure how to begin the conversation, but it seemed ok as the taller of the two men, who, it now became apparent, were brothers, nodded and then took the relevant paperwork out of his pocket.

Jesse placed it on the counter in front of him and smoothed it out with his hand. He read it through and shook his head. Apparently Steve had called the company and ordered both TV's three days before, used a credit card to pay a five hundred dollar deposit and agreed to pay the remainder on delivery and installation. The remainder, Jesse realised, was just over five thousand dollars.

"Could you wait a moment, I need to make a call?" Jesse didn't give them the chance to reply but disappeared, with Alex, into the small office off the kitchen of the barbeque restaurant.

ooo

Once Steve had finished talking with Daniel the young man sat next to his mom, taking her hand into his own and trying to get his feelings under control. When he had first learnt that he was going to have a baby brother or sister he had been devastated, and knew that if he had been given the chance to remain an only child he would have accepted. Things had changed since then and Daniel was struggling to keep the tears at bay, not just for his mom but for the baby as well.

His dad had explained that the condition pre-eclampsia was so unpredictable that even doctors couldn't forecast what might happen. Daniel knew that Steve was scared, and that and the fact that his grandpa might not be able to help terrified him too.

His mom was fast asleep, she knew that he was there, had spoken to him herself when he had first arrived, but she had drifted off to sleep as he had been talking with his father, and now the room was silent and still.

That silence was suddenly shattered by the sound of a cell phone ringing, and with a barely disguised oath Steve had stood up and left the suite. Two minutes later Daniel could hear him trying not to shout at Jesse and failing miserably.

ooo

It hadn't taken long to get the framework off the wall, but the damage would need to be dealt with by a decorator, and that would cost money. Jesse didn't know what Steve had said to the contractors, but he had stood and watched in amazement as the two men had packed everything back up again and even put the tables and chairs where they were supposed to be. Steve had told him, in no uncertain terms, that he would deal with the problem and to forget all about it. He wasn't sure he could do that, but he was trying.

Jesse wished that he could be like Steve, he never intimidated anyone, and most of the time that was fine, doctors weren't supposed to be that way, but he would have liked to be able to have dealt with the TV problem without worrying his best friend when he had enough troubles of his own. He would also like to know that he could speak with Susan and diffuse what was becoming a very difficult situation without involving anyone else, but he knew that wasn't to be either.

Grabbing a coffee from the machine Jesse made himself comfortable at one of the empty tables and considered his options. He didn't want to over-react to the situation, but the contents of the parcel had spooked him, the innocence of his girls' faces as they played had been turned into something to hide away, that infuriated him and he knew it would do the same for Rae. For a moment he wondered if Susan's actions could be classed as stalking and he realised that whether she saw it that way herself or not, the law probably would.

Picking up his coffee Jesse walked through the kitchen to the back of the building. He had sent the kitchen staff home, deciding that they would remain closed until the following lunchtime. A decorator was coming in at nine in the morning to estimate how much it would cost to repair the damage. Damage Jesse knew they wouldn't claim on their insurance, the premiums were high enough as it was.

Logging onto the Internet Jesse went into a search engine to try and find a site that had been recommended to him when Levington had been stalking Rae. At the time the problem hadn't escalated into the devastating crisis it had later become and he hadn't checked it out, now he wondered whether it could help him.

After a few false starts Jesse found himself on a site run by the Los Angeles County  
District Attorney's Office and right away, on the first page, found information that confirmed that what Susan was doing was, intentionally or not, stalking. However, it did say that the act had to be wilful and, try as he might, Jesse couldn't see Susan's actions that way. Maybe she hadn't seen Rae when she took the girls' picture; maybe she was just concerned and sent the wrist links as a genuine gift. But the letters, the letters weren't friendly at all and, shaking his head, Jesse knew that so far he was only making her look more guilty not less.

As he carried on reading Jesse came to understand that he was making things worse by talking with Susan, and going to meet her for coffee had been a big mistake. The DA's office said that no should mean no. And there wasn't a need to say more than that one word, which, he had a feeling, was easier said than done, but he could see the potential effectiveness of that course of action. Although Jesse had told Steve that he was going to get a restraining order, once the initial shock had died away, he really didn't want to do that. Reading through the way that things could escalate though made unpleasant memories rise to the surface again and Levington's face glared out at him from the computer screen, its mirage-like image taunting him.

The emptiness of the restaurant began to close in on him and draining his coffee as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up Jesse came out of the office and back into the front of the building. He had worked himself up into such a state that he half expected to find someone sitting waiting, menacingly, for him at one of the tables, but the room was cold and totally empty as, with a shiver, Jesse turned off all the lights and locked up on his way out.

ooo

The face staring at her from the computer screen did nothing to still her rattled nerves or improve the despondency that was descending upon her. Rae made a grimace as she got up and went to get another coffee; the fancy cakes and pastries had long since disappeared, as had the guilt she had felt in not realising that it was the Captain's birthday and he was responsible for their purchase in the first place.

Rae had hastily sent him a humorous e-card before beginning to work out what she wanted to say on the flyer she planned to flood the city with.

Knowing that it needed to be short and to the point Rae had first made a list of the vital information that needed to be included. The picture, obviously, along with both hers and Steve's names. A phone call to the DA's office had gotten the result she wanted, and Dominic's name was also on the list of vital items. The evidence against him was now almost totally damning, they had his image, his fingerprints, his DNA, if they got him, she corrected herself, when they got him, she was absolutely sure that everything they had would match everything he had.

The City had offered a $20,000.00 reward for information leading to Little's arrest and that too was on the list. Though she knew it would bring out the crazies and some money grubbers looking to make a fast buck, it might also be just the incentive a reluctant witness needed to come forward. Finally Rae had his description, she knew that there was nothing to make him stand out in a crowd, well, nothing that could be seen in the photo, or garnered from the details given by the people who had met him face to face but maybe everything together would begin to stir some memories.

As Rae was about to begin putting the information into some kind of order her phone rang and she answered it with a groan that turned into a broad smile as she heard her husband's voice.

"Hey, handsome … sorry, Honey, I'm still really busy, at least that, maybe even about two … ok, come up to the squad room, then I'll know you're here … I love you too, bye, Jess."

The interlude had been brief, but seemed to revive her. The smile disappeared, but only because her concentration was soon on the job at hand, and she was unaware of most other things going on around her.

ooo

Jan Burlington was an old friend, she had helped Rae enormously when she had realised that she was being stalked. Jan was now a lieutenant, and as such most of the officers working rape and stalking cases reported to her. Jan often worked with the Threat Management Unit of the Detective Support Division, and was a recognized expert in her field.

Jesse had called ahead and so Jan was waiting for him in her office. The friendly smile and welcoming personality were just as he remembered them, but Jan herself looked different. Her hair, dark and cut short was neat and business-like, as was her blue two-piece pants suit. The office wasn't really all that business-like though, and Jesse knew that was because the people that Jan dealt with were fragile members of society, people who were scared for their own safety and that of their loved ones. Having been there he could understand the need to have a friendly and relaxed office environment, especially in a place as tension filled as a police station.

"Jesse, how nice to see you again, won't you please come and sit down?" Jan stood as she spoke and indicated a chair with her right hand. With a smile Jesse did as he was told and then, gradually, began to talk.

ooo

Rae had read through the information flyer three times, she knew that something wasn't quite right with it, but try as she might she couldn't work out what it was. Looking up she saw Cheryl pouring herself a coffee and called out to her.

"You don't have a couple of moments free do you?"

"Sure, give me about fifteen minutes to finish what I'm doing and I'm all yours." Cheryl smiled and, seeing Rae nod her head, made her way back to her own desk so that she could do as she had suggested.

Rae decided to spend that time relaxing a little, she had been working all afternoon without a break and she needed one. She placed an order over the phone for some food to be sent in and then took her phone off the hook and let out a sigh of relief. For a moment she watched as Cheryl bent over her work and then closed her eyes as she let her mind drift back to the early spring and an afternoon she had spent with Martin.

Although she knew that it wasn't her fault Rae still felt guilty about the injury that Martin had received which had cut short a promising career in law enforcement. Apart from the one FBI agent who had been killed when they stormed the garage Texas and Jesse had been held in, Martin's injuries had been the most traumatic. Jesse had suffered, mentally as well as physically, but Martin had been forced to change his entire life plan.

A piece of wood, embedded in the back of his skull, had turned the once vibrant, highly motivated, young man into a shadow of his former self. Martin knew that he wasn't the person he used to be and that made it far worse. He had spent his days at a residential home where he was bad tempered and surly because he wanted to be anywhere but there until finally, on that spring day, he had let his feelings out.

The day had been bright to start with and Rae had enjoyed pottering around in the back yard with Martin. Despite his injuries he still had green thumbs and had helped Rae plant some primroses which she had, to her utter amazement, managed to grow from cuttings.

_"These nice."__ Martin had looked at them and Rae could tell he was impressed. They all looked healthy and she was seriously pleased with herself._

_"Yeah, think what I could do if I had all this time on my hands every day." Rae, who had been recuperating from her gunshot wound at the time hadn't thought before she spoke, and had been surprised at her friend's reaction._

_"No, no fun, Mar'in hate it." His voice had wavered and Rae had looked up from where she was carefully patting down the soil to see a look of abject sadness on his face._

_"Martin, Honey, I'm so sorry, I didn't even think."_

_"No un does, Mar'in forgo'en." He had slowly got to his feet and moved away across the lawn and for a while Rae had let him be._

_She had been injured, almost as seriously as Martin, a few years before, but had been incredibly lucky and, as far as she was aware, had no residual damage from the head injury inflicted on her by an animal rights activist swinging a placard at a funeral. It had taken her a while to get back to anything like her normal self though, and she still remembered the helplessness she had felt as words wouldn't come or actions took twice or three times as long as they used to. Gradually she had realised that her limitations wouldn't be permanent, Martin didn't have that light to work towards and, feeling both fortunate and guilty, she had moved over to where he stood looking out across the remainder of her garden._

_"Martin?"_

_"Mar'in a cop, Rae.__ Nothing else, not good at aything else." His speech was slow, and still uncertain, each word seeming elongated, but if you listened closely it was clear that, unless he was unsure of himself, Martin knew what he wanted to say and could express himself reasonably well._

_"Now that's not true. You have helped me no end with advice and hints for my yard. And you kept that strange looking plant alive I sent you in the hospital one time, I got sent one myself and it only lasted a week."_

_The smile she had gotten had eased her conscience a little, and they had continued on with their work for almost another hour before the clouds began to gather and large warm raindrops fell on the soil in front of them, darkening its colour and quenching the thirst of the new plants._

_By the time they had collected up all the gardening equipment and made their way back into the garage to put it away the rain was coming down in sheets. For a few minutes they had stood together and watched as the water pooled on the patio and then cascaded off the steps in a small torrent._

_"You know it would be nice to have a waterfall out here, if it was safe for the girls of course." Rae watched the water, even in the shadow of the rain clouds it seemed alive, and she wondered what Jesse would think of the idea._

_"If ou hadin…" Martin had paused, searching for the right word to get his point across and, knowing how much it had frustrated her when people had tried to fill in the gaps in her conversation, Rae waited. Finally Martin had gesticulated with his hands going round and round in a circle._

_"Ring?"__ Rae hadn't been sure it was the right word and when Martin shook his head she had tried again. "Um, round and round, the same water over and over?" This time he had nodded his head, smiling as he did so. "In a perpetual loop?"_

_"Es, Es, in a yoop, not deep, would work."_

_The excitement in his eyes had almost filled her own with tears and although she hadn't done so Rae had wanted to hug him tight. _

They had been able to retire to the house a few minutes later and once they had dried themselves off and fixed hot chocolate in the kitchen the two friends had made themselves comfortable in the lounge, both kicking their shoes off and taking over a corner seat on each sofa.

_They had discussed the possibility of the waterfall for a while, and had passed their enthusiasm on to Jesse when he had arrived home and joined them. Gradually the afternoon had drifted away until there was a knock at the door and Vicki, who had returned from her trip to the grocery store just a little after the rain stopped, showed Cheryl into the room._

_"No, Mar'in not go." _

_Rae knew that she had spoken in a childlike way when she had been injured although not always because she didn't have the capability to speak in an adult way, as she had gotten better she did, but those words took longer to retrieve if the sentences were more complex, and simple words took long enough to find as it was. Martin was the same, some things, like the history books he read, he could describe in detail, using the correct terminology, but to get across an urgent message he stuck to the quick and easy._

_"Chey, Mar'in stay here or your house, peese." Rae had seen Cheryl turn away for a moment, the pain more than evident in her eyes, and she had spoken to give her friend time to collect herself._

_"I have plans for tomorrow, Honey, so does Jesse, I'm sorry. But you can come again real soon."_

_"K, Mar'in say at Chey's ven."_

_"Martin, you can't, you know that. The driveway is sloped, there are way too many stairs, and you just get bad tempered." _

_"Don't, Mar'in don't wan go to home." His eyes had filled with tears then, and unable to stop them two had trickled down his cheek. Cheryl had moved across, the love she felt overriding the helplessness and anger that he evoked in her._

_"Baby, I'm sorry, I'm still looking, but anything on one floor is so expensive, and you know how much it would cost to have access changed on anything."_

_"What about our apartment?" Jesse had broken into the conversation and the smile on his face had transferred to Rae in an instant._

_"Jess, that's brilliant." The confused look on the faces of their two friends had made her laugh, and she had hurried to explain. "We have an apartment, the other side of the driveway, and everything is on one floor."_

They had grabbed the key from where it had lived on the hook in the kitchen for as long as they had been there and then walked across and unlocked the dark mahogany wood door. Immediately they were in a large living area, with a kitchen to the left of the doorway and bare floor space in front of them and to the right. Through a door at the end of the kitchen were two bedrooms and a bathroom. They hadn't had to ask Cheryl or Martin if it was suitable, the looks on their faces had told them that.

The rent had been a bit of a sticking point, Rae and Jesse were happy for them to just live there and pay for the utilities; Cheryl and Martin felt uneasy though and so in the end they had decided Cheryl would pay $50.00 a week and Martin would become their gardener. They had been happily living across the driveway from each other for almost three months and everyone was content.

"Rae, I am so sorry." Cheryl's voice cut into her thoughts and she looked up. There was a brown bag with her food in sitting on the corner of her desk and Rae realised that she had been so lost in her memories that she hadn't even heard it being delivered.

"No problem, can you just read this through for me? Something isn't right, but I have no idea what it is."

Cheryl had done as she was asked, and a smile had crossed her face. "You're tired aren't you?"

"It shows?"

"Oh yeah." Cheryl reached over and picked up the handset of Rae's phone and placed it back on the receiver. As she did so she saw enlightenment on her friend's face.

"I forgot the phone number, oh you stupid, stupid woman." She laughed as she turned back to her computer and finally completed the task, which, she hoped, would catch her a killer.

A/N The website mentioned in this chapter exists and is very informative. If you have any worries regarding stalking and its legalities, this is a good place to start.

http/ 


	7. Chapter 7

**07** **Finding the Strength to Fight**

Daniel had stayed with his mom until Mark finished his shift then, reluctantly, he had left his dad to the all night vigil he wished he could take part in and walked down to the parking lot in silence. Mark had watched him surreptitiously all the way home, allowing his eyes to stray across when he waited at a stop sign, or was held up in traffic. He didn't want to intrude into his grandson's thoughts, there would be plenty of time for them to chat once they were home, and so, as the journey continued the silence did too, although neither of them felt at all uncomfortable or disconcerted by it.

Despite himself Daniel smiled as he climbed out of the car. He loved the beach house, and was more than happy to be able to stay there. He also loved his grandpa, and the chance to be with him overnight was welcome.

"Thanks for letting me sleep here; I know Mom feels better because of it."

"Daniel, you can stay here anytime, you know that. You only have to ask."

"Really?" The smile grew broader. "Maybe we could make it … like every other week or something?"

"Sure, that would be great." Mark had unlocked the front door and was making his way to the kitchen in front of his grandson and so Daniel didn't see the look of pure joy on his grandfather's face, but when Mark turned and smiled he knew that something special had passed between them.

ooo

It had been almost nine o'clock before both Jesse and Rae had finished their business at the station. She had smiled as he came into the squad room and instantly got to her feet.

"Are you done?" His words had been hopeful and he had been delighted to see her nod. He didn't think she realised that he had been to see Jan, and right now he wasn't going to tell her.

"Yep, finished about fifteen minutes ago. Did a little filing and now I am all yours."

"Oooh, that's something you haven't said in a long time." Jesse was standing very close to his wife and he took her hand into his own. "Let's go home then."

They had driven to Beverly Hills in a small two-car convoy and Rae had parked her cruiser behind his BMW on the driveway. Cheryl had left the station about an hour before Rae and her vehicle was in the space allotted her when she and Martin moved into the apartment. It had taken a while but finally they had an arrangement where it didn't matter who was working, or on what shift, they could all drive in and out without blocking anyone else.

Taking her laptop from the trunk of her car Rae made her way to the front door of her home and watched as Jesse did the same.

"Work?" Rae couldn't believe how disappointed she felt, it was already late, but she was hoping that they could have a quiet evening together.

"What? Oh, no, I just don't want to leave it in the car. You?" Jesse shook his head, but then saw the bag she held in her own hand.

"Yeah, work, but not until the morning, I'm not due in until eleven, so I thought I would go through and weed out some old files I don't need any more."

By this time Vicki had opened the door and the two of them made their way into the hallway, spoke for a moment or two with their housekeeper and then went into the breakfast room.

Ten minutes after that they had a cup of hot chocolate and a round of sandwiches each and could hear Vicki locking up the house for the night. Jesse waited while Rae ate, knowing that by the time they were both finished Vicki would have retired to her rooms for the rest of the evening and they would be alone. He needed to speak with Rae, and he needed to do it tonight before his courage failed him and she heard it from someone else.

"Mmmm, that was nice." She paused and stretched like a contented cat but then a frown crossed her face. "You're awful quiet, Honey, what's on your mind?" Rae leant back in her chair, she was feeling pleased with herself. The day had been productive. She finally felt that she was getting somewhere with the Red Rose Killings, she hadn't gotten any new cases, and although she was worried about Texas, Jesse had said she was resting comfortably.

"A couple of things, move over here, so we can sit together." He watched as, with a smile, she did just that, and then before speaking to her, Jesse took her in his arms and began to kiss her.

"You are so beautiful, I love you, Rae."

"Oh, Jess, I love you too." The words made her feel wonderful; they were finally living through a period when her work wasn't personal and when Jesse was back to his normal self. The love that had stuttered a bit but finally kept them going through the difficult times was being allowed to flow, to be enjoyed and lived with no strings attached, and for a while neither of them needed to speak, they kissed and caressed, safe in the knowledge that their marriage had emerged intact from their troubles.

Jesse finally looked into his wife's dark brown eyes and sighed. They had adjourned to the bedroom about a half hour earlier, and now, as they lay in each other's arms, and he ran a finger gently up and down her bare arm, he knew that he had to speak.

"Rae, I need to talk to you about Susan." He felt her stiffen against him before she spoke.

"What about Susan? I thought that was over. You hadn't mentioned her for so long that I figured she had gotten fed up and moved on."

"No, no she hasn't, I just kept quiet because she was doing nothing more than being friendly."

"And now she isn't?" Rae felt anxiety rising within her, suddenly knowing that she wasn't going to like what she heard.

"No, she isn't. Rae, I need to show you something." Jesse let her go, and leaning over, grabbed his laptop case that he had brought upstairs with him, and hauled it up onto the bed, unzipped it and took out copies of the picture and letters that Susan had sent. He watched as she read them and saw the tension fill her body, and for a moment he hated Susan for what she was doing to them.

"Jesse, you have to get something done about this, because if you don't I will. She has to be stopped. How dare she! How d …" Rae ran out of words, unable to get her feelings across.

"Honey, I have done something, I went to see Jan, she's gonna get her brought to the station tomorrow and speak with her. If that doesn't work then I'll get a restraining order taken out on her."

Rae just nodded her head. She sensed that he hadn't finished talking.

"I know you won't agree with me, but I really don't think she's trying to intimidate us, she's just misguided and very determined."

"Yeah right. Jesse, this isn't misguided it's dangerous" Rae couldn't help but interrupt, but Jesse hushed her gently by placing a finger against her lips and she began to listen again.

"We had a good thing going when we were together, I loved her, but she left and, well, now I'm glad she did. She's living in the past, a past where I was available, where I was hers for the taking, that isn't the case any longer; there is no way that I would leave you for her, no way at all."

The cop part of her wanted to take charge, to deal with the entire problem herself, but she knew that wouldn't be the right thing to do. She had to let Jesse deal with things and as his words filled her heart she smiled and handed over the responsibility to her husband. "Ok. I trust you to handle this, Jess. As long as you do as you said, Jan is good, one of the best, if she thinks this is the right way to go about it, and you agree, then that's fine by me." Rae knew that although Susan's presence in her life had left her feeling very threatened in the past, now she no longer felt that way. She knew that her marriage was strong, and she also knew that Jesse wouldn't jeopardise it in any way, and with a smile Rae realised that she was as safe as she had ever been.

She paused for a moment as she sensed the atmosphere change again and then with a smile reached over and gently ran her hand into her husband's hair and pulled him closer. "So, if you aren't hers for the taking, can I take you instead?"

Her voice was husky and he began to respond to her again. "Oh, God, yes, Rae, now, take me now."

He felt her lean against him and then he forgot everything else except what she was doing to him, and he surrendered to her totally.

ooo

Mark sat in a chair looking out at the ocean for a long while after Daniel had gone to bed. The conversation they'd had reverberated around his brain, and he wasn't at all sure if he'd helped his grandson or not.

They had begun speaking while eating dinner and the subject had immediately been his mother.

_"Grandpa, Dad said that you can't tell what will happen to Mom."_

_"No, that's right, I can't, not in advance." Mark had shaken his head, he knew that Daniel would want a quick fix, all children did, but this time he wasn't going to be able to oblige._

_"She's right there in the hospital, she has all those monitors and things, and there are drugs, drugs that can do all sorts, why can't you just stop this pre-eclampsia?"_

_"Daniel, I don't know why. It's so unpredictable; we couldn't say for sure that your mom would suffer from it this time, although the chances were quite high. We could have checked her yesterday and not seen anything to overly concern us, it moves silently, blood pressure, headaches, you can't see those things. There can be swelling, water retention, that shows up, but that can come on real fast too."_

_"Dad said that Mom could lose the baby…" Daniel had paused, and Mark realised in that moment that his son had told the boy almost everything that could happen._

_"He said if it gets worse she'll need an operation, a caesarean, to have the baby but it still might die. That's what happened before wasn't it?" Daniel's face was lined with worry now and his grandpa's heart went out to him._

_"Yes it was. But last time your mom wasn't as far along as she is now. If we can keep this baby inside for another week or two then I won't be nearly as worried."_

_"And if you can't?"_

_"Then it will be a case of using all the medication and facilities we have available and praying."_

_"You know, I wanted to be a doctor, to be like you, and Alex, Jesse, too, but now I don't know. I don't think I want to be in a job where I can't make people better, doctors aren't supposed to kill people."_

The silence had been uncomfortable this time, and Daniel had asked to be excused a little while later. He'd tried to speak to the boy again, to tell him that they were making progress, that the drugs available now gave the babies more of a fighting chance than when his mom had lost her first child, but he didn't think that he had gotten through.

Daniel had come to say goodnight, and they hugged each other tightly, but Mark knew that the reassurance, which had been so desperately sought, hadn't been found, and for that he was profoundly sorry.

ooo

The hours of darkness had passed reasonably uneventfully, apart from the regular interruptions that were part of hospital routine, day or night, or at least Steve thought it had, until he and Jo were both awake and chatting over breakfast. His dad wasn't back on duty until the afternoon, and it had been Jesse who had appeared, cheerful but tired looking, at their door just after nine.

"Hi, guys, how did you sleep?" Jesse looked over at Jo first and then back at Steve. His patient didn't say a word but Steve smiled as he stood up to give his friend some room.

"Good, you know these suites are wonderful places."

"Jo, how about you?"

"Ok, I guess." Her tone of voice told both men that something was not right and Steve was back at her side in an instant.

"Jo, Honey, why didn't you say something, call me, press the button, anything, God, Jo." His voice rose as he spoke and he saw his wife flinch.

"Steve, don't. I had dreams, vivid dreams, but I only woke up properly about an hour ago. The readin's an' measurin' that was done didn't disturb me at all. Jesse, I was about to call for someone."

"Ok, let's get some current figures taken; I can't do anything until I know what I'm dealing with." He was carefully putting the blood pressure cuff on as he spoke. Once the reading was taken and he had checked it against those taken overnight Jesse moved across to where his friend was standing.

"I think we need to go call your dad."

ooo

Rae had been working for a little over an hour when she heard the doorbell ring. Her concentration broken she listened as Vicki made her way across the hallway but got to her feet as she recognised the voice of her caller.

"Good morning, Miss Vicki, if it isn't too early I wondered whether I might speak with Mrs Travis."

"If you would like to wait here, Sir, I will check whether she is available."

"That's alright, Vicki, Michael, how wonderful to see you, won't you please come through?" Rae came over towards her guest, a broad smile on her face.

Michael nodded his head slightly in acknowledgement, and then waited as Rae spoke again.

"Vicki, do you think we could have some tea and maybe some of that wonderful cake you made yesterday?"

"Of course, Mrs Travis, I'll bring it right on in." Vicki turned, and Anneya, who had been holding tightly to her friend's hand the entire time, let go and ran across to her mother.

"Hey, Sweetie, I get a look in after all, huh?" Rae made the sign for hello as she spoke, and Anneya returned the same sign or her slightly different version of it. The tests, which had been taking place over the past few months, showed that Anneya could hear noise, but not clearly enough to differentiate between sounds, and so she was to all intents and purposes Deaf. Jesse had looked into the procedure for cochlear implants, and although it was a course of action which worried them both they hadn't dismissed it. They had decided to wait a while though, as she seemed to be coping with things just fine the way she was.

Once Vicki had brought in the tea and fruitcake, she retired to the playroom, taking Anneya with her. As the door closed Rae turned to her compatriot and smiled again.

"So, Mr. Godwin, what brings you here, I'm delighted to see you, but you look worried."

"Mrs, Travis, it is Michael, and yes, I am worried."

"It's only Michael if it's Rae too." Her eyes sparkled; enjoying the repartee that she knew would stop all too quickly.

"Rae, yes, I am worried, and I am hoping that you can help me."

ooo

Mark had dropped his grandson off at school and was sitting in traffic when his cell phone began to ring. Changing direction at the first set of lights he raced towards the hospital trying to work out the best course of action as he did so.

He knew that his son would be almost frantic with worry, Jo too, and he had to admit he wasn't far from that state himself and one decision was easily made, whatever anyone said, he would no longer take an active part in Jo's care.

Pulling into the parking lot Mark was out of his car and running as he pressed the button on the remote locking device, idly wondering as he did so, how he had coped when he had to stop and check each door individually because either Steve or Carol would have been bound to have left a window down or a lock unfastened.

The receptionist smiled at him as he flashed past, she was used to him going at full speed he guessed, sometimes on foot, others on roller-skates or scooter. The elevator was playing kind and the doors opened as soon as he hit the button, and a minute later he could see his son, looking for him, waiting, and pouncing as soon as he was in sight.

"Dad." Steve was by his father's side in two strides. "What do we do? Jesse says we have to wait, take another blood pressure reading, that they should be six hours apart. He said that as there was only four hours since her last one he wanted to hold on another two hours before making any decisions, why is that?"

For a moment Mark smiled. "Son, if I took your blood pressure right now I would have you admitted. We have to average it out."

As he spoke he heard his daughter-in-law groan, and then the sounds of retching could be heard. Both men were in the room instantly, and Jesse, who was carefully holding the emesis basin for her, smiled a rueful smile in their direction.

"Hi, Guys." He immediately turned his attention back to Jo. "Shhh, it's ok, just take it slowly, Honey, it's ok." It was clear that she was crying too, and gently Jesse was rubbing circles on her back, hoping that he would help her relax, knowing that she had to be feeling both awful and anxious.

Once she was lying back on the pillows, Mark moved over to speak with her. He was concerned by how pale she was, and he had to force a smile to his lips as he began to speak.

"Sweetie, I want you to lie back and rest, and I know this is real easy to say and hard to do but you need to relax, see if you can't go back to sleep, let that baby of yours realise just how cosy it is inside of you."

A pager went off at that moment and all three men looked down at their belts.

"Ah, that's mine, Mark, page me if you need me, Steve, you too, Buddy. Jo, I'll call Rae, but you just hang in there, ok?"

Jo grasped his hand and for a second held it tightly, then she just nodded her head and let it go.

"Thanks, Jesse." Steve didn't take his eyes off of his wife's face as he spoke and Jesse lightly touched his shoulder as he walked past him and out into the hallway seeing his best friend wipe away his wife's tears as he turned for a final look before he left.

"Mark, I'm sorry, an' I know I should have told someone, but I was just so scared, an' I thought if I let it be, maybe it would just all go away, but I feel so ill now, so strange, an' I am just so worried for our chil'." She raised her hand to her hair, brushing it off her face, and Mark saw her grimace.

"That hurt, where did it hurt, Jo?"

"I … I have a headache, an' … an' I still feel sick an' I do hurt, Mark, I hurt right here." Jo placed her hand on her swelling belly and looked anxiously at her father-in-law.

"Ok, doctor's orders, lie back, rest, close those beautiful eyes and try to sleep. I will be lolling in the luxurious surroundings of your sofa talking to your worry-wart of a husband." His jovial tone seemed to work, and Mark saw a little of the tension leave his patient as she did as she was bid, and sank back down into the pillows.

Steve wasn't so easily mollified though, and instead of letting his dad sit down he dragged him out into the hallway and then along it until they were out of earshot of his wife.

"Ok, Dad, give." Just for a moment Mark saw how his son would intimidate a suspect before all of it faded away and he grabbed his father by the shoulder his anxiety coming out in a flood. "The baby, Dad, are we gonna lose our baby?"

"Not if I can help it." Mark paused; he knew that he couldn't help, not now. "Steve, I want to transfer Jo's care to Tabitha Isherwood, and I know she will want her moved down to obstetrics, immediately."

"No, Dad, why? You're Jo's doctor, I … I want it to be you who delivers the baby." Steve was on the move now, talking to his father but walking back and forwards just in front of him, his hands went through his hair, then they smoothed down his t-shirt, he put them in his pants pockets, then took them out again, until finally, unable to watch any longer Mark reached over and held his arms.

"I want to be there too, and hopefully I will be, but, Son, Jo needs more expertise than I have. I would pass any patient's care onto a specialist in this situation, and she's my daughter-in-law, I can't treat her, the risks are too great."

"Oh, God." Steve slumped back against the nearest wall, all the fears he had kept compartmentalized, safely away from his everyday life, for the last six months rushing to the surface. "What … what happens now?"

Mark was just about to answer when he was interrupted by the sound of urgent bleeping from Jo's suite.

ooo

Rae had been surprised to find that it was only ten-thirty when Michael left, she was glad that he had called in early, and had been flattered that he had taken the time to call the station to find out where she would be. The Englishman had told her that Jo was happy for him to look into the whole affair, that she knew he would have to speak to friends, or to the police, and she had agreed to that too.

She had been surprised to discover that Jo had been interviewed as a suspect when her accountant had been murdered, and resolved to do some digging herself when she got into the station, however, that had been before Jesse had called her and so she had headed for the hospital instead.

Although Rae wasn't sure that she would be able to see her friend, just the off chance was enough to make her head across town and, as she drew into the parking lot, she said a silent prayer that things would turn out fine for her friends, and then made her way, apprehensively, into the main reception area.

Pausing only to nod at the nurse on duty Rae headed for the elevators that would take her up to the private suites where she knew her friend was. Pre-eclampsia wasn't a problem she had ever had to deal with, but she had delivered a child at seven months, and the sense of failure, the loneliness which that had produced was still with her. Rae also remembered though, her friend sitting at her bedside showing her photos of her new daughter, and when she had found out later that the understanding Texas had shown was because she had lost a child of her own Rae had been doubly grateful.

Rae couldn't imagine losing one child, so to be faced with the prospect of losing another was almost impossible for her to grasp. Her own children were such a vital part of who she was and how she operated that life without them was untenable. She thought of Steve, of the way he had turned to goo every time he saw Eliana as a baby, and how he still was instantly down on her level or sweeping her up into his arms for hugs and kisses. Her elder daughter idolised her Unki Teve and she knew that the feelings were reciprocated, but he should be a father, should have his own child, have the priviledge of raising a baby alongside Daniel to make their family complete.

The door pinged and Rae waited for two tired looking nurses to leave the elevator before entering. Her heart was beating louder and harder than in any work situation, and she tried, unsuccessfully, to swallow down her fear before she was deposited on the correct floor.

The activity she was suddenly plunged into surprised her and moving over towards where a young nurse was standing Rae spoke quietly to her.

"Hi, my name is Rae Travis, I came to see if I could keep Mrs Sloan company for a while, but I guess I'll come back later."

The nurse, who was friendly with Shannon, Alex's girlfriend, smiled in recognition of the woman in front of her.

"She's being moved right now, I … I would call your husband before coming in again." The young woman didn't want to say anything else, but she knew that since the alarm had sounded in the main suite the action had been frenetic.

"Rae!" Steve's voice cut through the air, and suddenly her partner was right by her. "Did Jesse call you?"

"Yeah, he did, but I'll go, Steve, let me know ok …" She paused, not knowing what else to say. "Call me." She hugged him to her and placed a kiss on his cheek. "It'll be ok, it has to be ok."

Steve was too choked to speak. He had held it all together as he watched his wife's body convulse in front of him, had stood silently by as his father had quietly spoken to her once the danger had passed, and then explained almost without any expression in his voice whatsoever why it was that Mark was passing the case over to someone else. Now though, now that he saw the sympathetic face of his friend in front of him, the woman who had seen him through no end of difficult situations, who he trusted implicitly to watch his back, he just needed her to stay.

"No. Rae, please."

She didn't need to hear any more, nodding her head in understanding Rae stepped back against the wall so that she wasn't in the way, but kept a tight hold on her partner's hand, offering him support while he needed it.

ooo

He must have spent all night behind the closed door, the sofa that he had found there comfortable enough and large enough for him to curl up on and sleep with the pictures of all those women around him.

Matthew was seeing things through new eyes, through eyes which no longer found what had been happening distasteful, but instead exciting, daring, something that he couldn't do himself but could share in.

He had always known that Dominic was the dominant part of him; known that was the reason Nicholas had chosen that name years ago, the reason why he had let him deal with all the mundane areas of life, while Dominic was the one who lived, went out to work or clubbing, searching for girls and he just sat back and either hid or, more so lately, watched from a distance.

The latest article he had found was on the counter where the photos were processed and Matthew, with Dominic as close to the surface as he had ever been without breaking through, began to read it over again.

_Rider Slain by Red Rose Killer_

****

_The name of Leigh Anne Mason joined those of thirteen other young women today as she was confirmed as the fourteenth LA victim of the Red Rose Killer._

_Lieutenant Steve Sloan, the detective in charge of the investigation, refused to answer any questions from waiting journalists as he arrived at the murder site, a stretch of land known locally as The Rough._

_His partner Detective Rae Yeager was also tight lipped although she did say, a little later, that she still had no doubts that they would catch the killer before long. When asked if this was his opinion also, Lieutenant Sloan nodded his agreement but wouldn't be drawn on when any arrest might be made._

There was a picture with the article, both of which Matthew had downloaded from the Internet in the small hours of the morning, and now, as he stood looking at the picture of the male detective, the one whose wife owned the stables, the one who he had seen on the TV looking for all the world as if he would like to kill someone himself, Matthew realised two things.

He was becoming as one with Dominic, their separate identities were beginning to merge together, not all the time, he was still set free alone sometimes, but when there was killing or stalking to be done, then he was privy to all Dominic's thoughts, all his feelings, and again this knowledge excited rather than scared him.

The other thing that Matthew suddenly understood was Steve Sloan's place in this investigation. He had been just a cop, a smart mouthed cop, with no understanding of whom he was dealing with, well he was showing him, they were showing him now. Matthew knew that the investigation was getting to the man, he had thought he was so invincible, but now he knew he wasn't, now he knew he was fighting an unbeatable force, and before this was over Matthew and Dominic both knew Steve Sloan would doubt everything he thought he stood for.


	8. Chapter 8

**08 Closing in on Targets**

The transfer of Jo from her private suite to a room in Obstetrics went smoothly, and Rae, keeping out of the way, made sure that Steve was ok from a distance. As the bed had been wheeled from the first room he had let go of Rae's hand and moved across to where he could, instead, hold the hand of his wife.

"Steve? I … I don't want to go, why can't I stay here?" He knew that all the arrangements had been explained to Jo, but he just smiled and ran a finger down her face.

"Honey, this is a general room, you need to be monitored by staff who are used to dealing with this type of situation every day. It won't be for long."

The elevator doors opened and slowly the bed was pushed in, leaving Steve standing in the hallway.

"Steve." Her voice was tremulous, and his heart almost stopped as he heard the fear contained in just that one word.

"I'll be right there; I'm taking the next car." The doors closed on his words and he swallowed hard as, silently, he watched the lights count down the floors before punching the button to call it back feeling as if he were the loneliest man on earth.

ooo

The morning newspaper had shocked him; his fear was so all encompassing that he thought he might pass out. They were far closer to him than he had ever expected them to get, and now, now that his picture was everywhere, that stupid janitor would have the cops all over this place in a city minute.

He didn't know what to do, the panic, which was an almost continual companion of Matthew, was now getting to Dominic as well and, stopping only to make himself a cup of strong black coffee, the killer sat at the kitchen table and tried to work out what his next step should be. One or two things he knew had to be done, one was simple but necessary, and the other was an idea he had been playing with for a few weeks.

When he'd had to disappear, go to Colorado for a while, Dominic had been traumatized because he had to leave his treasures behind. A plan formed in his mind as he drove through Florida with a small case of new treasures to look at and enjoy, and now, he figured, was as good a time as any to put it into action.

Each ritual, although essentially the same, showed up little differences, peculiarities, that didn't occur in the other killings. Sometimes it was just the particular set of clothes that the woman had worn or, in the case of Lucy in San Francisco, hadn't worn. For her all he had was a dress and a pair of shoes. As she removed her clothing, on the sand that night, he had seen her naked body, immediately devoid of any underwear, and even now, after there had been more victims, that thought aroused him.

For Lucy, then, he would take just a piece of her dress. The reminders he needed being served by that beautiful garment. For others, well, all of them had different things that helped him recall their final night together, he could take all or a small piece of each. The hair of course, their wonderful hair, that wasn't so hard either. He would carefully remove a little from each of the tresses, refasten them with their names attached and have all he needed in one suitcase.

Excited by the prospect of the work ahead, but knowing that he had to move with speed and efficiency Dominic-Matthew drained his coffee mug and made his way to the closed door of the third bedroom.

ooo

Rae had left Steve at the doorway of his wife's new room and once she had kissed him gently on the cheek and told him to call her, she had spoken briefly to Mark and then walked back to the elevator sensing that her presence in Texas's room wouldn't be welcome for a while. There had been a female doctor speaking with her friend, and Rae had felt a little intimidated by her. Jesse was on duty in the ER and so, wondering if she could count it as work, she had made her way there prior to leaving the building.

The doors opened and, as Rae stepped out, she saw a janitor washing down an area of floor just in front of the nurses' station and she watched quietly for a moment before speaking.

"Hi, Leonid, how's it going?" The man stood up, smiling as he did so.

"Well, Detective Yeager, for Leonid, it is going very well." The once homeless Russian, whose life had turned around for him since he found a Red Rose Killing victim, leant his mop against the wall to shake Rae's hand. "I see Detective's hubsand every day, he very nice to Leonid. And Doctor Sloan, he got me this job in the hopstipl, he say Leonid very good worker." The man beamed, and Rae wondered whether it was the compliment or the rapidly improving English that caused it.

"Good, I'm really glad. So far you are the only good thing to come out of this awful case." Rae was about to move off in search of her husband when she realised that the Russian had something more to say.

"I moof, into halfway house, only one other person. Leonid invite friends?" The smile was gone now, and in its place a look of worried anxiety.

"That would be wonderful. Call the station or … hold on." Rae reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out one of her cards. "You can reach me on any of these numbers." The smile was back as Leonid took the small rectangular object.

"Da, da. Leonid do that. Have house heating for new apartment." Rae smiled, not wanting to correct his English and embarrass him, but also wanting to laugh at the slightly incorrect usage.

"See you later, take care." With a wave of her hand Rae made her way on down the hallway, her smile broader now it couldn't be seen, and looked into the doctors' lounge. Jesse was sitting in there nursing a cup of coffee, and Alex was sat on the sofa staring off into space.

"Hi, Guys." Rae moved up next to Jesse and gently kissed him on the lips. He smiled as he broke the embrace, and then held her tight for a moment, the worry he felt for Steve and Jo being transferred into a need to show his affection for his wife.

"Hey, beautiful," he watched her smile broaden as he spoke, "did you see her?"

"Yeah, but I didn't speak to her, there was a very officious looking doctor there, not at all as friendly as the ones I'm used to." Rae gently touched his cheek with her fingers as she spoke.

"Ah, that would be Tabitha, officious describes her perfectly!" Jesse's smile was broad now even though he was still worried, somehow seeing Rae unexpectedly was cheering him enormously. He indicated the chair next to him but Rae shook her head.

"In a minute, Honey." She moved across towards the sofa, speaking as she did so. "Hi, Alex, I was hoping to see you." Rae suddenly realised that the young doctor could help her.

Alex jumped as she spoke and Rae and Jesse could tell he had no idea she was even in the room. "What? Oh, hi, Rae. Sorry, I didn't see you there."

"Alex, are you alright?" Rae was instantly concerned, sitting next to her younger friend and physician.

"What?" Again Alex seemed distracted, and Rae, even more worried now, took his hand into her own.

"Alex, whatever's wrong, is there anything I can do?" Rae looked up to see that Jesse had moved across the room as well.

"Do? What, oh, no, no. I … I just have a lot on my mind right now." Alex tried to pull himself together and, as he did so, saw the concerned face of his other friend in front of him. "Oh, hi, Jess."

"Alex, I've been in here for ten minutes." Now Jesse was troubled too, and reached over automatically to take his friend's pulse.

For a moment Alex let him continue but then shook his arm away. "Jesse! Look, guys, I appreciate it, but I just have something on my mind. It's nothing serious, and its certainly not health related, ok?"

"Well, if you're sure." Rae paused a moment but knew that she had to continue, "Look, Alex, I'm sorry to burden you with more stuff, but I need you to come see a film we have at the station. It relates to Nadine's killing."

Rae knew that she needed to say nothing more; she also knew instinctively what the response would be.

"Of course. I finish in …" Alex looked at his watch and then blushed. "I finished half an hour ago. Guess I was off with the fairies, huh?"

"Well, in that case, can you drive over? I'll leave now, and see you there."

"My car's in the shop, for its service, I came with Mark. I'll go see him and meet you in the parking lot, if that's ok." Alex stood up, smiled at both Rae and Jesse and, without waiting for a reply, left the room and his two anxious companions behind.

"What was that all about?" Rae looked at her husband, and saw him shake his head.

"I have no idea. But whatever he has on his mind it's big, that's for sure."

"I'll have a chat with him at the station, and I'll see you later. What time do you think you'll finish?"

"About three, maybe four. Depends on how busy we are. I wanna be here for Steve, too." Jesse's face clouded as he mentioned his friend's name.

"I asked him to call me when he knew what was happening, and I'll do the same, I'll ring you before I leave, maybe we can have barbeque or something if you're free."

With a smile Rae kissed her husband once more and then walked back along the hallway no longer seeing her surroundings, back in police mode and concentrating fully on what she needed to do, knowing instinctively where to go. She had already shown Dominic's picture to Cheryl and she would need to show Leonid as well as the staff at Bob's; the Russian though had disappeared and so she filed that task away as her mind began working out what order to do things in and, as the elevator doors opened, she smiled at a uniformed officer as he let her into the car before exiting it himself.

ooo

Susan was at the nurses' desk, she had been on duty for a little over five minutes and already she was bored. As she stood there she saw that English woman leave the doctors' lounge and tried not to stare. It was clear though that the detective was deep in thought, and so curiosity won out and Susan looked at her long and hard.

What did Jesse see in her? He had usually gone for blonde women, not too tall, slim, but blonde. This Rae Yeager was small, smaller than Jesse anyway, but she had brown hair and brown eyes. She was also a very strong selfish woman, or so Susan had heard, far more interested in her career than her family. But sooner or later, sooner, if she had her way, Jesse would see that he was with the wrong person, and they would be back together again, just as they were meant to be. They could be a couple, and maybe even a family, the little girls were just so cute, she would happily look after them too.

"Excuse me, Ma'am." The voice startled her, and Susan realised that the focus of her imaginings had disappeared and in her place was a tall, dark haired, uniformed police officer.

"Yes, what can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for Miss Susan Hilliard."

"That … that's me. What do you want?" Her heart was suddenly beating hard in her chest, and Susan wished she were still in her daydream.

ooo

"Lieutenant Sloan, I realise that you are an anxious first-time father, but we can't have you in the room right now, this is moms and doctors only."

Steve tried not to glare at the doctor in front of him, but knew he wasn't being at all successful. "So tell me something. I've been standing in the hallway for over thirty minutes; I just want to know how she is."

"Lieutenant, your wife is very sick, I am trying right now to ascertain just how sick. All the time you keep me talking out here in your hallway, I can't do that, now can I?"

"No, Ma'am." Steve moved back, letting the woman leave and wondered why she had been able to make him feel like a six-year-old easier than anyone had since, well, since he _was_ a six-year-old.

"Steve." He felt a hand on his arm and looked into the face of Alex's girlfriend Shannon. "Come and sit, I don't need to be in there right now, we can wait together." Shannon Farley had been assigned to care for Jo, and both Steve and his wife had been grateful for the familiar face. Silently he nodded, not trusting himself to speak and with a long backwards glance at Jo he let Shannon lead him to a bank of comfortable chairs just a little further along the hallway.

"Now, Mrs Sloan, let me go through this with you again, and then we can bring in that nervous young man before he wears through the carpeting." Doctor Tabitha Isherwood sat down in the chair next to the bed, and was extremely concerned when there didn't appear to be any response from her patient except for a tear as it made its way down her cheek.

She knew who Jo Sloan was and although she rarely worked with her patient's father-in-law, Tabitha respected him enormously. The head of internal medicine had requested that he be present when the baby was born and she had no problem with that, the problem Tabitha had was a feeling that she would be calling on him sooner rather than later.

Shannon had put the Doppler pick-up belt back onto Jo after she had helped settle her into her new room and Doctor Isherwood had the previous day's figures on her clipboard. The blood pressure readings concerned her greatly but she was still hopeful that she could reduce them with medication although so far that didn't seem to be happening. The pregnancy was only at the start of its third trimester, and Tabitha knew that the longer they could keep the child inside its mother the greater its chance of survival, however, she also knew that the pre-eclampsia that Mrs Sloan was suffering from could easily kill both her and her child.

ooo

Alex had watched the video three times now, and was feeling very awkward about what he was seeing. Rae had stayed with him while he ran through it the first time, but had been called away to speak on the phone and so now he was alone with just the tape, a cup of rapidly cooling coffee and a desk-bound cop keeping an eye on him from a distance for company.

Putting the video to play frame by frame he watched for a full face shot of the man he now knew as Dominic and finally was able to just stare at the features of the person he had seen at Bob's.

The problem he was having was that Alex knew he was looking at the face of a killer, that his identification would be one of the ones used to possibly convict this man, and no matter what he had done, that made him feel very uncomfortable.

"Alex, I'm sorry about that, so, what do you think?" Rae came back into the room and sat down at the table next to her friend. "Can you ID him for me?"

There was a long uncomfortable pause, and for a minute Rae wondered whether Alex had disappeared into himself again. "Alex?"

"Rae, I'm sorry, give me a minute."

Rae felt the anticipation crash around her and for a moment all she could do was nod her head. She had thought that identifying the guy from the video would be a breeze, but when she had shown the film to Cheryl she had been unable to identify him.

_"How do you mean you're not sure?" The amazement had come out in her voice and she had looked away._

_"Rae, I'm sorry, ok?" Cheryl had sounded defensive and Rae had nodded her head as she listened. "I want this guy just as much as you do. But I can't put my hand on my heart and say that's him. From the back, yeah, I thought you had him, I thought I would be able to say take me to a judge, that's our man, but from the front, when he turned around, that certainty disappeared."_

She hadn't been able to get any more from Cheryl, and realised just how vital to their investigation Alex's identification, if he made one, would be.

"Alex?" Rae knew she was pushing him, but she needed to know.

He took a deep breath, he was a law-abiding citizen, and this was his duty. He may have sworn to save lives, and would effectively be ending one by his actions now, but Dominic whatever-his-name-was had killed endless defenceless women, he needed to be stopped, and if he could help that happen then he had to speak up.

"It's him."

Rae let out a breath and for a moment the feelings of success almost enveloped her but finally she spoke. "You're sure, you would swear to that in court?"

"Yes, I would. I have to say I don't want to, but I would." Alex looked back at the screen again, at the still shot of a young man, probably only about eight years older than he was, and shuddered.

"Alex, are you ok?" Rae turned her chair slightly so that she was facing her friend and then reached over and pressed the off button on the remotes for the TV and video.

"Yeah, I didn't sleep well last night, haven't for a few nights, and this, well, it's a responsibility isn't it? I … it scares me, Rae …he scares me."

Rae suddenly realised just how young Alex actually was. He was her doctor and she trusted him absolutely, but that trust belied his youth, and she reached over and gently squeezed his arm.

"Would you like me to run you home?"

"Could you? I … I wouldn't mind having a chat with you … if you have the time." Relief had flared in his eyes as Rae had spoken and with a smile she nodded her head.

"No problem. Let me get my jacket."

Rae stood up and made her way to the door before looking back at her friend and hoping that she could help him with whatever was on his mind.

ooo

The test results, which Tabitha Isherwood held in her hands at the nurses' station in Obstetrics, depressed her mood and she let out a heavy sigh. She had wanted to wait, to give the Sloans' baby a chance to develop some more, but she knew for certain now that chance could kill it and so, reluctantly, she was about to go speak with her patient and deliver what she knew would be bad news.

The medication that Mrs Sloan had been taking, 10 mg IV of Hydralazine, was the first line of defence for pre-eclampsia, but it wasn't making enough of a difference for Tabitha to feel happy about continuing with it. One of the side effects was headaches and she knew that Jo had had an almost constant one since she had started taking it the previous day. As she reached the doorway Doctor Isherwood paused to let Shannon Farley leave the room. The young nurse smiled at the doctor, knowing instinctively what was to happen.

"Would you like me to get in touch with Doctor Sloan?"

"Yes please, Shannon, that would be a great help, thank you."

As the raven-haired nurse left on her errand Tabitha stepped into the room and saw the terror flit across her patient's face.

"Doctor?" Steve's voice was hard and edgy, he wasn't used to being unable to protect his wife and he didn't like it. He wasn't used to dealing with unfamiliar doctors either, and that also put him on the defensive.

"Lieutenant, if you would sit down, I need to speak with you and your wife." There was no doubting the seriousness of her tone and Steve, pushing the fear down only minimally, did as he was told.

ooo

Rae looked at the mountain of mail and messages on her desk and groaned. The photo of Dominic had been in the papers that morning, and now she was inundated with sightings, requests for interviews, e-mails and telephone notes from anxious parents and, right on the top of the pile, just to make her day, a memo to go see the Chief at her earliest convenience.

Rae had driven Alex home to the beach and stayed with him for a little while, having a cup of tea and a bagel to stave off her hunger pangs. She smiled now as she thought about him and his problem. As she had listened to him all she had wanted to do was hug him, the prospect of good news in her depressing day more than welcome.

If she was honest Rae hadn't expected such a huge response to her publicity drive, and certainly not so quickly. While she had been clearing out unwanted documents from her computer the previous morning, she had found the letters Texas had given her from an ancestor of hers and they had fired her curiosity. If her day had been quiet she had planned to begin reading them through again, somehow, though, she had a feeling that she wouldn't get to them again for at least a few days.

Running her fingers through her hair Rae pondered, as she often did before a visit with the Chief, the sensibility of taking a drink with her, and, as she often did, decided against it. Realising that she was just putting off the inevitable she picked up the file on her desk, which had the information she had collated so far in it, and left the squad room.

Margaret was sitting at her desk in the outside office to the Chief's inner sanctum and she smiled as Rae entered her room.

"Good morning, Detective, if you would just wait a moment or two, he's busy right now."

Rae nodded, she should have called, but her mind wasn't functioning quite correctly yet, and, thankful for the extra few moments to gather herself, she sat quietly.

ooo

The revulsion he felt surprised him, it had always been a thrill, the end to a perfect evening, to slit a woman's throat and watch the blood spurt, flow and then ebb. But somehow, with a man, it had been totally different and he had left the area shaken and sickened to his stomach. Still, it had been necessary, and a job well done; now he was home free.

ooo

The discussion with Doctor Isherwood had ended prematurely, when Jo, whether from the stress of it all, or just by coincidence, Steve wasn't sure, had begun to convulse again and, barking orders, Tabitha had removed him from the room and told him to go wait in the relatives area of Obstetrics.

Shannon had been back at the nurses' station as Steve had staggered from the room, the look of shock and total helplessness on his face almost breaking her heart.

"Steve, come with me, I'm off duty in a half hour, we can wait together."

He had nodded mutely, but then suddenly spoke, "Dad."

"I went and got him, he's on stand by." She smiled as the Tannoy suddenly blared into life around them.

"_Doctor Sloan to the OR STAT, Doctor Mark Sloan to the OR STAT."_

"There you go, that's taken care of! Steve, Jo really is in the best of hands; Tabitha Isherwood is an excellent doctor." Shannon meant what she said, her initial stay in Obstetrics when she had been a student nurse had shown her the area she herself wished to specialise in, and she had been working full time in the department for the past month.

Jesse was just changing into clean street clothes when he heard Mark's name being called. Knowing instinctively that his friend and mentor wouldn't be available for anyone but Steve and Jo today he made his own way towards the Obstetrics department hoping to see Steve and reassure him.

The room number with Jo's name against it was 3974, but the sound of barked instructions drew him that way almost without him realising it, and he watched from a safe distance as Jo was wheeled out and away in one direction as a woman he knew was Doctor Isherwood walked towards him.

"Doctor?" Her tone was brusque but not unpleasant and Jesse smiled.

"I was looking for Lieutenant Sloan, thought I would stay with him. I'm guessing you're taking Mrs Sloan to surgery."

For a moment Tabitha just looked at the young man in front of her, but then realisation dawned. This young man, a protégé of Mark Sloan, and an extremely accomplished ER doctor from what she had heard, was also a close friend of the police officer.

"Yes, I'm taking her to surgery, and her husband was instructed to wait in the relatives' area just down the hallway. Once his wife is prepped and ready I will send a nurse for him."

"Thank you. I'll go sit with him until you're ready. He's not used to waiting anywhere other than the doctors' lounge in the ER." Jesse had a feeling that right now Steve would prefer familiar surroundings to somewhere alien to him.

Tabitha smiled, that was something else she had heard, that the Lieutenant, although not a familiar face in her department, was well known in the Emergency Room. "Very good, Doctor, and thank you."

The two colleagues parted company and Jesse continued down the hallway, remembering the times when Rae had been in the hospital to give birth to their two daughters, the first time had been an emergency and Jesse could understand a little of how Steve would be feeling; the second time, well, both he and Rae had thought Anneya was never going to be born! His memories had taken him to the doorway to the relatives' waiting area and he glanced in to see his friend sitting, looking more lost and bewildered than he could ever remember.

"Steve."

"Jess." The greeting was almost a plea and Jesse, grateful that it was Shannon in the room, pulled his friend into a hug, hoping that he could help him but knowing that in the end it would be down to swift intervention and not a little luck.

Shannon looked at the two men and then averted her eyes. She knew how close they were, had seen them both on and off duty together and loved them both. Slowly a smile crossed her face; she was the new girl, the latest addition to their close-knit family, and the fact that they could show their affection for each other in her presence warmed her heart.

Since she had begun going out with Alex she had, slowly been accepted by Steve and Jo as well as Jesse and Rae. She knew how important both men were to Alex, as well as Rae, his first patient, and probably one of his most regular ones. The days she had spent with all of her boyfriend's friends had been happy and relaxed, and gradually she had begun to realise that they weren't just Alex's friends, they were hers too, and that she was accepted for herself, not who she was going out with, and it was a nice feeling, a very nice feeling indeed.

ooo

Jo lay looking up at the ceiling and tried to bring her overwhelming fear under control. She remembered nothing of what had happened when she lost David, the pre-eclampsia coming on so strongly and suddenly that she had been, so she understood, whisked straight into the OR where, in order for her to stay alive, her son had been delivered far too early. He hadn't survived, and the fear of that happening again, of her losing another child caused so much terror to strike her heart that she was unable to do anything, not even cry, all she could manage was to lie totally still and try to ignore the tendrils of sleep, or worse, which were threatening her.

"Now, Mrs. Sloan, we're ready to get started. I know that you haven't had time to discuss your birth requirements with your main healthcare provider yet." Tabitha's voice sounded a little put out, and Jo wasn't really sure what to say.

"Which would be me, and we have discussed it a little, but not written anything down. Hi, Sweetie, I am so sorry about this." Mark took Jo's hand into his own and then the tears did start.

"Mark, please, Mark, save our baby."

"Honey, that's the plan, but you have to come first, you know that." The pain he saw in his daughter-in-law's eyes was almost too much for him, knowing as he did that it would be reflected in his son's eyes also, but there was more there than that, and for a moment he looked hard at her and his worry increased, but, as of yet, he didn't know what else, exactly, he was worried about.

"I would recommend a spinal … epidural?" Tabitha saw a look of confusion and then enlightenment, and then Jo nodded a spark returning to her eyes.

"Steve could be here then, right? Mark, I want Steve to see his baby being born. He … he may never have that chance again." Her voice was hushed, and a little slurred as she felt her hand being squeezed tightly.

"He can be here, but I would suggest him being at the blunt end, he's not too good with this type of thing. Get Amanda to tell you about when we delivered quads in her bedroom."

Jo stared at him as she felt rather than saw another person enter the room.

"Hi, my name is Scott Jacobs, I'm gonna give you your anaesthetic. It doesn't say on your notes, so what'll it be?" The young man was almost a tall Jesse. He had an open, smiling face, and even though he was wearing a surgical cap like everyone else, Mark could see a wayward lock of blond hair peeping out. "I would recommend a nice, run of the mill, epidural, followed by a long nap and twenty years of worry, that do you?"

"Yes, please."

"Ok, let's go then." Tabitha looked around, "Nurse, if you would be so kind as to send a message for Mr. Sloan, he's in the Obs waiting area."

"Yes, Doctor." The nurse disappeared out into the main area beyond the double doors, and, as they swung shut, an air of tempered urgency settled on the OR. Mark moved up to what he had called the blunt end and made sure that he was in Jo's eye line, while Tabitha began going over the figures on the monitors, knowing that the couple of minutes it would take the Lieutenant to get scrubbed up were about all they had to spare.

ooo

Amanda placed the files she had made up on the Red Rose Killings on her desk and tried to drag her mind back from thinking about Jo and Steve. The grapevine at Community General was alive and working well; she had heard that Jo was on her way to the OR almost before the elevator doors had closed behind her bed. She would go see her friend later, but now, while the path lab was quiet, she wanted to go over everything she had collated so far on Dominic Little.

The picture in the paper had given form to a ghostly apparition, someone who had terrorised the city but had no real identity. Now, not only did they know who he was, they knew what he looked like, and Amanda was hopeful that Rae and Steve would be able to close the case and lay it and the victims to rest.

Ron had gone over the profile numerous times since Rae had asked for his help; his frustration as strong as everyone else's involved as they had been continually unable to close it out. That morning, as they shared a leisurely breakfast, after their two sons had caught the school bus, the conversation had turned to the case, and as she sipped on her third coffee of the day Amanda thought back.

_"You know, all the time this guy kept himself hidden, no one had any idea what he looked like, and now, now we have this up-to-date picture almost without trying." Amanda had shaken her head as she looked closely at the newspaper picture._

_"Sometimes it goes like that. I know Steve contacted NCIC, the passport office, all sorts of places, but nowhere had current information, and all the time it was gonna be waiting at a place he half owns!" Ron too had shaken his head as he finished speaking._

_Amanda knew that Ron was very unsure about the money that Jo and therefore Steve had. Not that it affected him outwardly in any way; it was just that it made him feel awkward. He didn't seem to feel that way about her money, for which she would be eternally grateful._

_"Yeah, well, these things happen, as you say, but now everyone needs to get behind them, make sure that there are no goofs or foul ups, we have no reason not to catch this guy and make sure he gets the justice he deserves." Her tone had been hard and deliberate, errors were not an option._

Amanda took the final swig of her coffee and thought over again what she had said, no goofs or foul ups. There were so many different agencies working on this case in one way or another that it was always possible that something could go wrong. She just had to make sure that the coroner's office was squeaky clean.

As she picked up the top folder, which contained the details on the very first Red Rose killing that she had attended her phone rang and, with a sigh, she replaced the file and took hold of a pencil instead.

"Amanda Bentley." Her face grew grave as she listened, and then, having made a few notes as to where she was actually going, Amanda hung up the phone and left her office.

ooo

Steve held on to his wife's hand and tried to watch what his dad and Doctor Isherwood were doing. As soon as he had arrived it had been action stations and, as he sat by his wife's side, Mark had moved down to assist in the surgery. Jo was laying quietly, the blue screen separating her from what was going on a little further down her body. He however, if he stood up, could see, if not understand, what was happening.

"Darlin'?" Jo felt him tighten his grasp on her hand and looked up at him, "What's happenin' … did … somethin' …?" Her voice was a little distant and sing songy, and as it tailed off Mark, looking up, spoke urgently.

"Talk to her, tell her what's going on, keep her with us, Steve."

The scalpel slit through his wife's skin as easily as a hot knife through butter and, as his father turned his gaze from him, he suppressed a shudder and nodded, the fear lodged in his chest making his heartbeat sound like a drum in his ears. There was no reaction from his wife though and he spoke incredulously.

"You didn't feel that?" His amazement was apparent in his voice.

"No, no, I didn't, what should I have felt?" If Jo was honest what she was feeling was very, very strange. It would be so easy to close her eyes, let the world slip away, forget about everything and fall into the darkness and she knew that if Steve weren't holding on to her hand she would do just that.

"They … God, Jo, they just opened you up!" The shock of seeing the incision being made stripped Steve of his ability to censor his words and he saw his dad look up sharply and stare at him. Jo didn't seem to notice however, and answered in the same distant voice as before.

"Oh, that's nice." His words were pulling her, keeping here where she knew she should stay, but the darkness was also calling her.

"That means our baby is almost here, Honey, just a few more minutes, and we'll know if we have a boy or a girl, we can finally share those names, huh?"

His words sounded far more cheerful, more optimistic, than he actually was, but the enforced jollity didn't seem to be working, somehow he knew that his wife was moving away from him, and he tightened his grip on her hand. Steve heard another voice speaking to him and he looked up, tearing his eyes away from the beautiful, peaceful face of his wife.

"Ok, the water has been broken, not a lot in there by the looks of it. Keep talking, Lieutenant, keep talking, there's only one step left to take now, just one step." Tabitha's voice was insistent and Steve, nodding his head again, began to speak once more.

"Jo, Honey, did you hear Doctor Isherwood? One more step, our baby is almost here."

"Mmmm, what? That's good." Again the darkness beckoned, and again she hesitated, feeling a pulling, but this time in her belly, not painful, not even uncomfortable, just a slight pulling and then it was gone. She felt her hand being squeezed tightly and then the pressure was released, and finally, set free at last, she let the darkness overwhelm her, drifting away from those all around her, unable to hold on long enough to hear her baby as it entered the world and took its first tentative breath.


	9. Chapter 9

**09 Tiny Steps**

"If you would like to take a seat, Ma'am, Lieutenant Burlington will be down to get you in a few minutes." The female officer behind the main desk smiled at Susan, and she wondered whether the reason why she was here was known to anyone. She had no idea herself, the journey from the hospital had been undertaken in total silence, and Susan hadn't liked to ask questions of the officer who had accompanied her.

The station was very busy, and as she watched the comings and goings Susan tried not to worry about the fact that she was one of the comings. She had sat quietly for about ten minutes before anything significant happened and then her eye was caught by a tall, dark haired woman, very smart and obviously efficient, walking towards her and she waited, her palms suddenly sweating, and her breathing rapid.

"Miss Hilliard?"

The trip to the detective's office hadn't taken long and she found herself sitting in a very comfortable chair, the room was relaxed in atmosphere and well furnished and, despite herself, she began to calm down just a little.

The very first sentence out of the detective's mouth however, reversed those feelings and she was instantly on the defensive, tense and nervous.

"I will be recording this conversation; I hope you have no objection to that."

"No, no, none at all." Did she? Should she have? Susan had no idea, but if she cooperated with whatever it was that was happening then she could leave. Good grief, could she leave, she hadn't been arrested had she? "Am, am I under arrest?"

"No, Ma'am, I just need to speak with you." There was a moment's silence while the two women sat, one feeling the increased pressure all around her, while the other provided it.

"Now, do you recognise this letter?" The voice was suddenly formal and severe, and the plastic bag that was held up, containing the note she had sent to Jesse, caused an ice-cold shiver to run down her spine.

"I'm not sure." She was sure, but she didn't know what to do about it. "Can I touch this?"

"I am keeping this as evidence, but I have a copy, you can look at that." A piece of paper was slid across to her and Susan looked at it, mutely, before raising her head and nodding slightly.

"Could you please speak your answer for the recording, Miss Hilliard?"

Susan jerked her head up, and Jan saw fear written all over her face. "I … I'm sorry. Yes, I recognise it."

"Do you want to tell me why you sent it?"

There had been no point in denying that she had indeed sent it, although if she did so it might give her time to frame an answer, instead she sat there, in silence, until the Lieutenant spoke again.

"Miss Hilliard, do you deny that you sent this to Doctor Jesse Travis?"

"No, Ma'am, I don't deny it." Susan looked down; suddenly she had a feeling her good intentions were being misconstrued.

"So why did you send it, can you tell me that?"

Again she was silent, and this time so was the woman the other side of the desk. The only noise to be heard clearly was the ticking of the clock in the office, but Susan could also hear the muffled noises of a police station running itself. There were phones ringing, the buzz of conversations, laughter, the hum of fans rotating and for a moment she let her eyes wander and looked into the squad room behind her.

The sound of a throat being cleared made her turn again, and she knew that she had to give an answer.

"I … I was concerned, I knew he wouldn't listen to me, talk to me face to face, I'd already tried that, so I wrote this instead."

"I see, and you didn't think that sending this type of letter, kissing him in public, calling him over and over on his cell phone, sometimes talking sometimes not, would concern him?"

"No, no, why should it? He knows me, knows that I love him."

"No, Miss Hilliard, what he knows is that you are stalking him …"

"What?" She tried to cut in, stalking, she had never stalked anyone in her life, but she wasn't given a chance to defend herself before the detective continued talking.

"If you would please let me finish. Sending someone unwanted gifts, threatening letters, dead calls, those are the actions of a stalker, Miss Hilliard, which is a very serious offence."

"I … I swear, I wasn't stalking him … at least I didn't think I was. I just wanted things to be back like they were before … before I went away."

"I see, and how long ago was it that you went away?"

The detective was making notes now, her pen flying across the page and Susan swallowed deeply before continuing.

"About um eight years." Had it really been that long?

"Eight years is a long time, things change in far shorter periods, as I am sure you are aware."

Again notes were taken and then, laying the pen down first, Jan Burlington looked up and began to talk once more, her voice taking on an even more serious tone than before.

"Your actions are causing the Travis family great concern, and they have asked us to intervene on their behalf." Jan paused; she hoped that what she was saying would have a serious effect on the woman in front of her. So far she seemed both horrified and scared and the police officer wondered whether Jesse had been right, she really hadn't realised how her actions would be viewed.

"I would suggest that you keep you distance from Doctor Travis, his wife and their children. I don't wish to threaten you, Miss Hilliard, but if you don't do so, then the doctor will take out a restraining order against you." Again she paused, this time for effect.

"My God, a restraining order? Why would he do that? It's that woman, his wife, she suggested it!"

"No, Miss Hilliard, it has nothing to do with Mrs Travis, he would do that because he feels intimidated by your actions. In fact, I suggested that he take one out immediately, but he wanted me to speak with you first, wanted you to have the chance to back off on your own. So, if you love him as much as you say, I would suggest that you do as Doctor Travis wishes and back off before you find that I am arresting you."

ooo

"Jo, can you hear me, Jo?" Mark's voice was anxious and that did nothing to help Steve relax. He'd stepped back as his father had seen Jo close her eyes, and now, although he wanted nothing more than to look at his child, he couldn't move from the spot and position he held.

"Mmmm, what?" the sound, the most wonderful he had heard in a long time, spurred him into action, and looking around he searched, in vain, for his baby.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?" Tabitha smiled, but it was forced, and Steve's heart, which had just begun to beat normally again, almost stopped.

"What happened to …" he couldn't say it, couldn't finish the sentence, "Dad?"

"Son, you know your baby is very small, but right now we just need to cut the cord, then you can have your cuddle. You can go to the NICU too y'know."

"No, Mark … Steve." Jo's voice, although faint was suddenly insistent, and concerned her father-in-law looked down at her.

"Honey, shhh, you'll see your baby too, in a minute."

"Lieutenant, would you like to cut the cord?" Doctor Isherwood's voice although soft was urgent and he looked up and shook his head.

"No, thank you. Dad, we decided, we want you to do that, please."

Mark had no words and so, nodding instead, he gave Jo's hand another squeeze and then moved off to do the task entrusted to him and, with tears in his eyes, he welcomed his first baby grandchild into the world.

ooo

"Well, Detective, we haven't seen each other for a little while, how are you getting on with this case? It appears to me that you are finally making some progress." Rae was sitting across the desk from her boss, she had waited a little over ten minutes and now, after he had apologised for the delay, he was getting down to business.

"Yes, Sir, I wish I had made this kind of progress after the first killing, but at last we have a picture we can use, we have a witness who saw him with the last victim and can place him at the murder scene. I have an idea as to motive, but he is such a screwy guy that I could be way off."

"Oh I doubt that, Detective, I doubt that very much." The Chief smiled his sardonic smile and Rae felt, to her horror, a blush spread up her face.

"Um, thank you, Sir." She looked down at the folder in her hands, and suddenly feeling awkward held it out to her boss. "Did you want to see any of the current information?"

"Yes, Detective, thank you." John Masters took the file and laid it on the desk in front of him. He opened it and for the next few minutes looked through the neatly typed and filed details.

"Very interesting, and very well documented, thank you, Rae." The folder was closed and passed back across the desk, and then after a moment's pause he spoke again. "I … I have a week's vacation booked for the end of next month." Again he paused, and this time Rae had to fill the void.

"I see, Sir, I hope you have a pleasant time. Are you going somewhere nice?"

"I am taking my son and grandson to Florida to the theme parks." He looked up, feeling a little embarrassed, and more than a bit surprised at his openness, to see his officer smiling broadly at him.

"Oh, Sir, that's wonderful, I'm sure you will have a great trip." Standing up Rae watched the chief do the same and then saw the two photo frames on the desk in front of her, one of his wife, and another of his two oldest children. He had lost all three of them in tragic circumstances, but now, finally, he had a chance at happiness again, and Rae was delighted that he seemed to be grasping it with both hands.

With one final smile Rae made her way to the door of the office and, as she left, turned slightly to see her boss, now sitting back down again, relaxed, not as totally as anyone else, but far more than she had ever seen him before, and the smile stayed with her all the way back to the squad room.

ooo

Steve had watched as his baby was measured and weighed before being wrapped in a blanket and placed inside a wheeled incubator unit. Now he was torn, did he go with his child, or stay with his wife? Looking around he realised that if he stayed he would be in the way. Jo would need medical attention, so would his child, but suddenly he realised that there was no way he could let the baby go without him.

Baby, they hadn't told him and with a deep breath for courage he spoke. "Dad, the baby, is it a boy or a girl?"

Mark had smiled, and moved his son closer to the tiny form lying in the enclosed incubator and for a second his gaze just rested on the small face framed with dark hair. "Steve, Son, this is your son."

"Jo, Honey, did you hear, we have a son, two sons now." He stopped speaking, watching as the nurse nearest to the door began to wheel the unit out into the hallway.

"Sir, are you coming with us?"

"Yeah, in a minute, I … I know where to go." The doors closed on his words and then he turned back to his dad.

"If the baby had been a girl, we would have called her Catherine Anne, they were my choices. Jo, well Jo wanted a neutral name, for a boy, something that didn't have memories attached for his first name, no familial ties, and … and well the second and third names, they are for people she needed to show how much she loved. I hope you understand." He felt awkward all of a sudden; he had wanted Mark, but could appreciate his wife's reasoning, and had accepted her suggestions.

"Son, this is your child, if you wanted to call it Caractacus Potts I would go along with it. Not enthusiastically, I'll admit, but I would respect your decision. So, what are you two going to call your son?"

Mark had moved Steve back across the room, guiding him as he seemed unable to move unaided right now, and they were back at the blunt end, and Jo, although groggy and having trouble focussing, reached up and took her husband's hand in her own.

Steve looked to her for confirmation that it was ok to carry on speaking and then began again. "We are gonna call him Jayden, Jayden Daniel Michael Sloan."

Jo smiled as she heard the names, the first one, a name she had always loved, and the other two, one her first son, someone who would be, she hoped, an example as well as a loving brother to their child, and the other her brother, a man she had always loved, but now knew was her kin as well. Those three names together seemed right to her, and as the darkness beckoned her again she felt the loneliness and devastation of David's death finally leave her.

ooo

Rae figured that she had been back at her desk no longer than ten minutes when she answered her phone and was on the move again.

Amanda had left a message with Cheryl that had been passed over, but hidden and if her friend hadn't called again Rae knew that she would have spent the remainder of the afternoon in the squad room.

As it was, she was now driving down the Pacific Coast Highway, unfortunately not towards the beach, and turning into a depressingly dark and dingy part of the city.

The parking lot was directly behind a social club for World War Two veterans and there were, she guessed, about thirty cars parked in it. There was also a coroner's wagon, two black and whites and Amanda's family SUV. Bringing her own vehicle to a halt as close to the action as she could Rae climbed out and was amazed at the ferocity of the mid afternoon heat.

"Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to rush you, but you normally respond so quickly, I had a feeling maybe the message didn't get passed on." Amanda looked up apologetically and then smiled at her friend. "Did you hear from the hospital yet?"

"No, nothing. Jesse called while I was in with the Chief, so I know she is having a caesarean, probably right now. I just hope everything goes ok for them."

"Yeah, me too. You know no more than I do. So, I guess we'd better concentrate on this instead."

"Gee, thanks. What've you got?"

"White male, mid sixties was my original guess, but I think he must be late seventies, look at this." Amanda pointed to the arm of her victim and Rae could see a set of numbers tattooed there with a triangle preceding them.

"Oh my, I've never seen one up close before. He was at Auschwitz right?"

"I don't know which camp he was at, but he was a prisoner of war, no doubt about it."

"No, it would be Auschwitz, he would have been sent there for his religion, or maybe because he was a gypsy. He would be described as a concentration camp survivor, and Auschwitz was the only place which did those tattoos, and they carried it on right up until the camp was liberated." Rae shivered. "He survived so much horror, only to die in a dismal parking lot, life sucks."

"Yeah, I guess it does." Amanda paused, watching as her friend composed herself before speaking again.

"So, white male, late seventies, because I don't think they tattooed children but I'll need to check that. Taken from behind and killed by a single knife wound across the throat."

"Doesn't anyone kill any other way any more?" Rae shook her head, all the murders she was investigating right now were deaths caused when their throats were cut.

"Do we have any identification? Any money, wallet, car keys?"

"Nope, nothing. I wouldn't have thought robbery was a motive myself, but I guess it could have been. I'm about to go back with the body; do you want to get a picture before I do? Maybe try the club over there for ID?"

"If you can get it without the blood, yes please." Rae nodded her head as she spoke and then waited as one of the photographers took a picture with a Polaroid camera.

"There you go, Detective, that do you?"

Rae waited a moment or two as the image came up before her. "Yeah, great, thanks." Rae looked at the face, it was lined, and weather beaten, but she had to admit that, in death at least, he didn't look his age. Then with a shake of the head, and feeling every day of her own age and more, Rae slid the picture into her pocket, forced herself into police mode, and began to take crime scene notes of her own.

ooo

The water was hot, hotter than, as a nurse, she would recommend anyone bathing in, but it suited her needs right now and so, with a slight intake of breath, Susan slid into the foaming depths.

Easing the soft inflatable pillow behind her head Susan let her mind float back and she was in the main entranceway to the station once more.

The conversation at the police station earlier in the day had been a nightmare and the fact that Jesse thought she was stalking him had shocked her deeply. The realization that he had involved the police though had frightened her into analysing herself and she hadn't liked what she found. She knew now that not only had he been correct but also if nothing had been said she would have carried on sending little notes, small gifts, maybe even big gifts, and it could have escalated, and that, more than anything else, scared her to death.

Jan Burlington had suggested that she see a therapist, and Susan had, at the time just nodded her head, too numb to really take in the suggestion and act upon it. The officer though had given her the name and address of a woman who had no connection whatsoever with Community General Hospital, she had also offered the use of her phone to arrange an initial appointment and again, numbly, Susan had acquiesced.

The appointment had been another revelation, but this time in a more positive way. The fact that the doctor had been free that afternoon had been the first surprise; the second had been that she had actually relaxed a little. As they had talked the atmosphere had changed, Susan had felt able to confide in the doctor, whose name was Marion Schweitzer, and by the end of the session had been relieved to hear that the prognosis was extremely good.

_"I think that this is more a case of you being unable to move on than a serious stalking situation. Expand your horizons; take big steps instead of baby ones. You need to look for new challenges and contacts, not rely on the old ones."_

_"I … I don't know what you mean." She had been confused and must have shown it because the doctor, a tall, athletic looking woman with dark brown wavy hair had leant forward a little over her desk, placed her elbows down in front of her, and rested her chin on her hands_

_"Look at your life now and then compare it to before you went away. From what you have told me very little has changed. You are living very close to where you lived the last time you were here, working at the exact same hospital as before, and trying to get back with the man you left behind. In your mind nothing has changed, but that isn't the case is it?"_

_"No." The word had been a whisper, "But why can't I just take up where I left off?"_

_Marion had smiled then, but Susan could see that it was a sad smile, "Because life isn't like that. You need to grow, to get on with your life the best way you can, but going backwards isn't the way to achieve it. These people …" The doctor had looked down then to double check the names, "Jesse, Steve, Mark." They aren't the same friends you had when you were here last. Jesse, especially, his life has changed and, for him, it is for the better."_

_"No, that's not true. He has suffered, been hurt, I checked the papers, went to the library, and looked in the archives, that_… that woman_ almost got him killed." She had stopped talking as she had seen something; she wasn't sure what, in her therapist's eyes._

_"Susan, he is still with that woman as you call her, she is his wife, and I too know what has happened, from the papers, from the TV news, their names are familiar to me. You cannot split apart a couple that don't want to be separated. They have been to hell and back and they are still together. Nothing that you do is gonna change that, all it will do is damage the memories he has of you, and by carrying on the way you are, you will become a serious stalker. You aren't one yet, let's keep it that way."_

_"I … I never saw it as stalking, I just wanted to help out, to change things which were wrong or dangerous couldn't he see that?" _

_"I realise that you think you were only warning Doctor Travis, but I have to say that if I received notes like the ones you sent I would be seriously alarmed. It sounds like the groundwork is set to snatch the children that this is the last chance he has to protect his daughters before you intervene."_

_"I would never hurt anyone, least of all a child; I can't believe that he would think that of me."_

_"He would think that of you because eight years have passed, you disappeared out of his life, then just arrived back in it, no forewarning, you were gone, and then you were back. In that time, as I know you realise, he has had a traumatic life, I don't know all the details, but I read the papers, I have seen that he has been injured, feared dead, his wife has been jailed, as well as kidnapped, and his daughter was also taken, if that had all happened to you, how do you think you would react to your warnings?"_

Her shame and humiliation had been complete at that moment. She had truly never intended to appear a risk to any of the Travis family, least of all the two small girls and their father.

The image of Jesse came up in her mind and Susan smiled. He had always had the ability to make her tingle from head to foot, his cute smile, those eyes, and his cheerful demeanour improved her mood and outlook on life however bad she was feeling. Gradually though she began to realise that the image she saw was the Jesse of their time together, not the Jesse of today and that he, like Marion said, had changed.

The eyes, the humour, the smile, they were still the same, although maybe not, he was careworn, it was apparent that he wasn't as free and easy as he had been. He was older too, probably wiser, and he wasn't the same man she had loved. By the same token she was no longer the same woman either and she had to begin to accept both things, life had scarred them, and it had been her who had walked away in the first place.

Pushing the images those thoughts evoked away Susan allowed herself the luxury of imagining what life would be like if she hadn't left. She had no doubt that she and Jesse would have married, she would have given up work to raise their children, a mom should be at home for her family. Four, she always wanted four children, and she would have given Jesse a son, no doubt about that. Beverly Hills wouldn't have been an option, but he was a doctor, and had the potential to be very successful in private practice, they might even have lived by the beach at Malibu.

Their life would have been that of a young up and coming couple, golden in appearance and prospects. The children, Susannah, Jesse, Stephanie and Mark would all be blue-eyed blondes and as cute as their dad. They would have a cabin in the hills, she would be on the PTA, do the school run in a deep blue BMW, keeping the top down all the way home to their immaculate house, with a beautifully kept front yard. There would be a dog too, a Labrador, golden of course, a golden dog for a golden couple, with golden children.

"Stop it! You cannot do this, you have got to get a life, a real life!" Susan shook the thoughts away; they could have no place anywhere but in her heart now. A tear surprised her as it made its way down her cheek, and she realised that these thoughts, the ones she could no longer allow herself to have, were the very ones which had kept her going, helped her keep sane, when she had been in the Middle East, and when she had first arrived back in LA, lonely and afraid.

The shock she had felt when the female detective confronted her with the letters was coming out now, and Susan climbed out of the bath, dried quickly and shrugged herself into a comfy pair of pyjamas before climbing into bed to keep herself warm.

For a few moments she closed her eyes and tried to gain control of herself. Jesse had been her strength, her rock, even though he never knew it and now she had to start again without him and fear gripped her heart as she realised that she wasn't sure if she could do it.

ooo

The NICU was quiet and very warm. The sounds of monitors bleeping reassuringly and whispered conversations seemed to blend together to make a peaceful almost contradictory backdrop to the sight of small babies fighting for their very lives.

Steve had told the nurse on duty his son's names and now Jayden had a little blue card on the front of his crib along with a blue band around left ankle. He couldn't believe how small the child was, and how big Jo had seemed. Although he would never have said anything, valuing his life far too much, she had been a waddling mountain the past few weeks and he had thought she had a good few weeks to go. This little mite though, so tiny, so dependent on technology to survive, looked like he could fit in a shoe box.

As he stood there he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked round to see his father smiling at him.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hi, Dad, yourself. He's beautiful, Steve." Mark could see the different lines leaving his grandson's little form and looking at his own son began to explain some of them.

"He has been given some surfactant to help his lungs develop; they need a bit more help before he can breathe totally unaided."

"Is that what that little nasal canular is for then?" Steve pointed as he spoke and was amazed at how big his hands had suddenly become.

"Oh very good, I'm impressed, we'll make a doctor's son out of you yet! Yes, that's what it's for. It isn't breathing for Jayden, but it is helping him some." Mark smiled as he said his grandson's name for the first time. "The official diagnosis would be RDS, respiratory distress syndrome, but it is totally treatable, and he is being given that treatment right now."

"Isn't that what Eliana had? But she was older, well, older than Jayden, when she was born, and it was after that when that woman took her."

"It's similar, I won't lie to you, it could mean your son will have asthma, but that's not a given." Mark smiled and then continued. "Steve, he's small, he shouldn't be here yet, but he will get the best of care, and for his age I am very pleased with his condition."

"Look." Steve's word was a whisper and, as father and son stood together, the small child in front of them moved his hand, flexed his fingers and then was still again, and in that split second although they both already loved him unconditionally he captured both their hearts totally.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 Family Matters **

The light inside the social club was dim, smoke hung in the air and Rae wondered whether it was kept this way to fit a stereotype or if the patrons actually preferred it.

Making her way between the round tables she finally arrived at the bar and, in no hurry to be served, leant with her back against the counter and looked about her.

There might be about thirty cars parked outside, but they certainly didn't all belong to the men in here. Rae reckoned that at most there were twenty people spaced out around the room and she realised with a sinking feeling that her victim might not have even been coming to or leaving from here.

"What d'you want, Lady?" The voice behind her confirmed her feeling that someone was moving closer to her and she turned, a smile on her face.

"I'm looking for this guy. You seen him?" She held out the Polaroid picture and watched as the man, with 'Dave' written on his waistcoat, took hold of the photo with fat but apparently clean fingers.

"Can't say, he don't look too good, why d'you want him, you a cop?"

Rae just nodded, she was used to being made in an instant, it had surprised her at one time, but not any more. "Yep, I'm a cop, and I just want to know if anyone can tell me if they've seen him or if you can give me his name."

The man turned and held the picture up to the fluorescent glare reflecting off the glass splash backs and then shook his head. "He don't look no better in the light. Nope, I don't know him. I'm guessing you wanna ask around, huh?"

"Oh yeah, and I'll have a mineral water too please." Rae rummaged in her jeans pocket and pulled out a ten-dollar bill. "There you go."

"Thanks. You got ID?"

Rae nodded her head and took her wallet out of her inside jacket pocket. Again Dave moved over to the lights and looked at the picture, at her and then back at the picture again.

"Well, you look better than he does!" Her wallet was returned to her as he spoke.

"Oh, thanks a lot!" Rae laughed and shook her head, not really sure how to respond. She held her hand out as her change was counted into it and then took a sip of her drink. It was ice cold and refreshing as she felt it slip down her throat. The smoke was beginning to make her eyes sting, she disliked the smell of beer and she hoped she wouldn't be in here much longer.

"Want me to look after it while you ask your questions?" Dave reached his hand out for the drink but Rae shook her head.

"No, thanks, I'll take it with me." She picked it up and walked over to the closest table, the photo and her ID held together in her left hand, the glass in her right, and wondered whether or not she was wasting her time.

ooo

By the time school had finished and Daniel had been met by Juan he was so worried and concerned about his mom that he thought he might break down and cry. When the Hispanic manservant told him that his father had called and that he was to go straight to the hospital Daniel had just nodded his head and let himself be driven there in silence.

The differences between Juan and Michael became more apparent than ever when the car drew up in the ordinary parking lot and Daniel climbed out.

"Aren't you coming in too?" He watched as the butler sat quietly behind the wheel not even releasing his seat belt.

"No, Sir. I shall return home, if the Lieutenant or Mrs Sloan require me I am sure they will be in touch. If you wish me to pick you up from here later in the evening, Master Daniel, you only have to call."

"No, no that's ok. Grandpa'll take me to his house, or I'll come home with Dad, but thanks." The black BMW pulled away and then as if suddenly realising why he was there Daniel turned and ran into the building.

In less than five minutes he was walking out of the elevator on the third floor and looking around for any familiar face who might help him find his parents.

"Jesse!" The relief he felt was almost overwhelming as his dad's best friend came into view and smiled at him.

"Well, hey, Big Brother. How y'doin'?" Jesse moved closer to the boy, slapping him on the shoulder as he spoke.

"She had the baby? Mom had the baby, Jesse, is she ok? Is … the baby? Can I … can I go see?"

"I've just seen both of them, and there are still some concerns, but well, look, sit for a minute." Jesse stopped talking and guided the young man towards the seats. He had just visited with Jo and Jayden, and been on his way to the main reception to try and meet Daniel there when they had run into each other in the hallway.

"What, what concerns?" Daniel looked worried, the tears he had fought in the car were back, and this time he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to hold them in.

"I spoke with your dad, your mom is sedated right now, and he said to tell you all I know, he wants to stay with the baby. Then, if you want to you can go sit with Jo. Mark is with her, she isn't alone."

"So tell me already, I want to see Mom, and the baby."

"You can't see him, not yet."

"Him? It's a boy? I have a brother? Jayden, right, they did go with Jayden?" He was talking fast, too fast really, but the words just fell out over each other.

"Yep, a boy, and yes his name is Jayden. Jayden Daniel Michael Sloan … you didn't know?" Jesse's voice became soft as he saw the look of astonishment and delight on the boy's face.

"No, I didn't know. M will be real chuffed, um that's British for really pleased."

"I always thought it had to do with trains, but yeah, I know. I'm married to Rae remember."

Daniel just nodded his head, and the delight he felt stayed in place a moment or two longer before he looked serious again. "But it isn't all good news is it?"

"No, but it's a whole lot better than it could have been. Your mom had to have a caesarean otherwise there was a very real chance that she and the baby could have died. I know that they told you Jayden was at risk, but the truth is Jo was at just as much risk herself."

"And now?"

"And now she isn't. She'll take a while to get on her feet. For one thing she had a major operation, but it's more than that…" A nurse nodded at the two of them as she passed by, so Jesse stood up and Daniel did the same, a puzzled look on his face. "Let's go in here, it's more private." There was an empty suite directly opposite them and with a nod of understanding the young man and the doctor entered and then closed the door.

Once they were comfortable on the two chairs in the room Jesse began to speak once more.

"Daniel, your mom had a seizure, in fact she had two, and so we need to monitor her very closely. Although she is way safer now that the baby is here, she could still have more seizures, and even when she goes home she is gonna have to be checked up regularly here and I'm sure your Grandpa will be doing home visits too."

"For how long? How long does she have to stay, how long does she have to be checked?"

"Seizures have been reported up to 26 days after the birth of a baby in these circumstances, so for about a month. And she stays until the blood pressure is back to near normal, she is feeling vaguely human and we know she has help at home. Ok, the last one of those isn't a problem, but the other two still stand."

"Jesse, thank you. I have so many questions, but I just want to see my mom." This time the tears were right there in his eyes, and he felt Jesse squeeze his arm.

"Ok. We'll tell you about your brother a little later. The main thing is he's here, he's alive, and the last time I checked his condition, although critical, was stable. Now come on, let's go find Jo and Mark."

Daniel nodded his head. He felt like he had grown up a lot in the last ten minutes and, pulling himself up to his full big brother height, he followed Jesse out into the hallway to go see his mom.

ooo

The bag hadn't taken very long to pack, once he had decided which things to take from each woman, it had been relatively easy to put them all into a holdall, and still get the zipper closed.

He had thought long and hard about what had happened earlier in the day and it had become just a memory, but not a special one and so it was discarded, pushed to the recesses of his mind, never to be visited with again. Instead he would touch the silky garments, comb the hair, inhale the special scents, which each woman had left him with, and remember, oh how he loved to remember.

Now that he was alone again, with no one knowing who he was or, more importantly, where he was, the need to run had receded. The bag was still a necessity though, a fail-safe, a crisis supply of that which he held most dear, to be removed in case of emergency or catastrophe.

He needed to rest, to decide what to do next, now that things were, for the time being at least, a little less urgent. Food, he would need food, but that was ok, he could go buy that in the evening, dress for jogging, with a hooded top and dark glasses. No one would have any idea who he was.

If he was careful it would be a while before he needed to work, and when he did, well the heat would have died down a little from his picture in the paper and he wouldn't be recognised. Dominic-Matthew knew that, for the time being at any rate, Krista's killing and Leigh Anne's were keeping him satisfied. There was no immediate longing to do it again, no need to change parts of the ritual which hadn't worked out properly, they had been almost perfect, the only difficulty was that they hadn't been The One, could never be The One, that was an insurmountable problem and one which, he knew, would, in the end lead him to kill again.

For a moment he thought about the stables where he had taken Leigh Anne. The feeling when he had found out that they were owned by that cop and his wife, it had been all encompassing, not in the way it was when he needed a date, needed to find his woman, but in a powerful, intimidating way.

Sloan: he had got into his life, he'd taken his picture, used his horses, what else could he do? The chance to tease, to frustrate and annoy, excited him, emboldened him and he laughed out loud as he realised that finally he had a chance to get one over on someone who so obviously thought he was better than everyone else. Well he was wrong, and that British cop, she was wrong too, and he would have great pleasure in planning their downfall.

ooo

It was eight o'clock before Rae got home; she was cold for some reason, as well as tired and fed up. Still she had a partial ID on her victim, two offers of a date for Friday night, and a jacket that needed to go to the dry cleaners to get rid of the smell of cigarette smoke.

Jesse had called her and told her about Texas and the new baby and she was excited but saddened by the news. Rae remembered clearly the feelings she had experienced when Eliana had been born too early, the separation had been so painful, and she wished that she could be there for her friend, as Texas had been for her. It was only family allowed to visit right now though, and so, unwillingly, she had driven home without taking a detour via the obstetrics ward.

Her own two daughters were in bed when she arrived and so she had quietly climbed the stairs and gently eased open the door to the nursery. Anneya was fast asleep, lying on her back; her golden hair fanned out on one side of her head and knotted up into clumps the other. Rae grimaced; she was in for another screaming match with the little girl the following morning when she tried to brush the tangles out.

Eliana, so different from her sister, was curled up on her side, a soft toy clutched tightly in her arms as she slept. She was still small, not that much bigger than her little sister, even though there was over two years between them. She was four years old now, almost five, and after all the concerns due to her early birth, as bright as a button. She had inherited her dark hair and skin from her mother, although where her curls came from they had no idea. Rae would have been proud of her daughters no matter what, but when she heard Eliana read to Anneya, even though the younger girl couldn't hear any of the words, and then point out things in the pictures and she saw the little girl look up at her big sister and smile, her heart swelled with pride and she realised just how blessed she and Jesse had been.

For a moment she sent up a silent prayer that Steve and Texas would find the same joy with their two children and then, with a contented sigh, she closed the door behind her and went off in search of something to eat.

ooo

Mark had offered to swap places with Steve just after Daniel had joined him. All the readings on the monitors in Jo's room were showing what he would want them to, and he knew that before too long she would begin to wake up and need to see her husband sitting with her although he was hopeful that she would sleep until morning.

If he was honest he also wanted a chance to sit with the baby, a chance to watch over the little guy for a while, make sure he was getting everything he needed. Mark looked at Daniel, sitting so close to his mother that he was almost on the bed with her. He would always be his eldest grandson and Mark knew he would never forget the thrill he had felt when he finally heard himself being called grandpa, but Jayden was his first baby grandchild, and the chance to watch him grow as he had done with Steve and Carol filled his heart with joy.

Whispering his plans to Daniel, Mark stood up and stretched before making his way out into the hallway smiling at a young nurse who greeted him. He was concerned for Jayden, but he was also confident that the little boy would make it. The fact that he was alive and fighting was a good sign; the medication was available to help his under-developed lungs and barring any unforeseen complications he should be home about the time that he was due to have been born.

Mark rubbed his glasses on his shirt to clean them a little bit as he entered the NICU and then looked around for his own son. There were four cribs with babies in them, the other three had two people sitting by them and for a moment his heart ached as Mark saw Steve sitting alone, staring intently in through the glass sides of his son's isolette.

"Hi, how's he doing?" Mark's words were again whispers; it didn't seem right to speak aloud right now.

"You know I think he is doing really well." Steve looked at his father and Mark could see the cautious optimism in his face. "They just did whatever it is they do every half hour or so and the nurse said he was even better than they had hoped."

Mark was looking at monitors again and, as he had seen in Jo's room, the figures pleased him.

"Sometimes there's doubt as to whether to operate or not, but I have to say, Son, this time there was no option, and the condition of your child and your wife both confirm that."

"Jo?" A look of panic crossed Steve's face and he stood up quickly.

"No, listen, she is doing just fine, Daniel's with her, and I have come to swap places for a while. Then, as I know you won't be wanting to go home tonight I will take Daniel with me again."

"Thanks, Dad." Steve stared down at his son again for a moment, drinking in the sight of him, he was so small, the diaper seemed to be more suitable for an elephant, and the little hat on his head, well, he hadn't thought it big enough to fit anything until it had gently been placed on Jayden. For an instant it had reminded him of something he had seen in Rae's kitchen once, an egg cosy, although at the time he'd had no idea what it was.

"I'll see you later, Dad and thanks again." Steve moved off, a bemused look on his face, where did these thoughts come from?

ooo

Steve sat and looked at his wife and eldest son, _eldest son,_ he had two boys now, he was the father of two boys. A smile split his face and Daniel joined in.

"What?"

"Pardon?" Steve looked at the boy, confused for a moment.

"You suddenly started smiling; I just wondered what caused it."

"Oh." For a moment Steve felt himself blush slightly but then he reached out and took his son's hand.

"I was just thinking about the fact that I am the father of two boys. That is a great feeling."

"Do you wish that Jayden was a girl?" Daniel looked closely at his father's face and knew the answer before he spoke.

"No. You know, sometimes you can tell the sex from the ultrasound, but I wouldn't have asked, it didn't matter to me, I just want him to be ok, y'know, just ok."

The conversation faded away and Daniel, feeling the same concerns as his father, was very glad he hadn't let go of his hand.

ooo

The newspapers that she hadn't had a chance to read during the day were now spread out across the dining table. Vicky had retired to her part of the house for the evening, and Rae was alone. She was glad that she hadn't looked at the papers while she was at the station, or she might never have made it home in time for breakfast.

_'How to avoid being a victim'_ the headline screamed at her from one of the less serious publications, a woman's magazine had an article on self defence which had also been linked to the Red Rose Killer and, in a magazine she had bought at the gas station on the way home, there was an article by a man who was sure that Dominic came from Mars, right now Rae wasn't so sure she didn't agree with him.

Even the more solemn papers, the ones that, in London, would be called broadsheets, had articles covering page after page of the publications. There were articles from so-called experts who she had never heard of, as well as a couple she had, and eventually Rae knew she would have to read them all. Picking up the cup of steaming coffee from just in front of her Rae pulled forward one of the papers she would call a rag, and began to educate herself on just how she could, if she were blonde, stay one step ahead of their killer.

The final suggestion was to dye your hair, obviously not blonde, and Rae wasn't at all impressed to see a picture of herself next to the text with her shoulder-length mousy brown locks blowing in the wind. '_A non-descript colour such as that of Detective Reagan Yeager, shown here investigating the Red Rose Killings, would be just fine' _was the caption underneath.

"Non-descript! I'll have to dye my hair too, and get it cut, I look like a wild woman." Rae caught herself running her hand through her hair and stopped what she was doing for a moment to laugh. The sound cheered her and, draining her cup, she stood up for a moment, catching sight of herself in the mirror above the fireplace. She moved closer, and looked at herself for a minute or two. Her hair **was** non-descript, and when she was younger she had dyed it all sorts of colours, blonde being one of them, but it had always been very obvious, to her at least, when she wasn't her original colour.

All the victims had been natural blondes, but she realised it was more than that. They had been that lustrous golden blonde which was so hard to replicate. Going back over to the table she pulled a box file towards her. Inside were copies of the main documents plus photos of all the victims not only in LA but other parts of the country as well, and Rae rummaged through them until she found the one she was looking for.

Sara Ann Miller, the first victim, as far as Rae was concerned, and the only one who hadn't had her hair cut. "So, why didn't she have it cut, why didn't she have long hair in the first place?"

Rae began pacing the room, she wasn't by nature a pacer, but she didn't want to sit down, something was suddenly bothering her, and she needed the motion to help her with it.

Every one of the victims had had their hair cut. It was part of his signature, something he had to do, something he had a psychological need to perform before his rituals and actions were complete, but the first one, the victim who had set the pattern for the rest, hadn't had her hair cut off, and she needed to know why.

Rae knew that signatures changed, but only slightly. The basic needs were always catered for every time and in this case those needs were maybe slashing the feet, and definitely leaving a rose and cutting the hair. No one knew about the hair, they had kept that fact to themselves, but it had happened every time. Jenna, the fatality who had been the first one they had encountered in LA, hers had been cut only slightly, or slightly compared to other victims, and at the time they hadn't realised how important a clue it was, which was one of the reasons it hadn't been released to the press. The other unreleased piece of evidence, the slashing of the feet had begun to puzzle Rae, and although she hadn't let the thoughts take root before she began to do so now.

She started to wonder whether their killer wasn't actually very strong, or at least hadn't been in the beginning and, if he hadn't had the ability to render his victim as helpless as he would have liked, he lashed out hoping to make them submit far quicker because they couldn't walk.

Rae knew that the blonde hair was the first thing that drew their killer, it had to be, but what other similarities were there? They had concentrated on the obvious; maybe they had done so too much. She needed to get into this guy's mind, try and see what he saw, and to do that she needed all the physical evidence so she could go over it again. With a deep sigh, and wishing that she hadn't thought of it, Rae slid the photo back into the folder and then began folding up the newspapers, it was after eleven at night, there would be no more delving until morning.

With a smile she suddenly remembered the other thing she had wanted to do and made her way over to the computer. In her favourites was a page from a baby store a little way down the coast and as she called it up she was glad to see that the item she had highlighted still seemed to be available.

With a few clicks of her mouse Rae had ended her evening far more pleasantly than she had at first thought possible. She knew that Jayden was still in the NICU but she wanted to be positive, and so she had ordered a crib bedding set. It had horses and stars on it which she and Jesse had thought was quite apt for the baby of a Texan heiress, but what had really clinched it was that the set was called 'the travis', once they had seen that, the decision had been made.

It would take six weeks for the specially made bedding to be delivered, and by then she, and everyone else, would know just how Jayden was doing. Rae sat, the screen thanking her for her payment and let her mind concentrate on Steve and Texas, and their little family. She wondered how Daniel would cope with no longer being the only child, she had a feeling it would be difficult for him. That boy had been through so much, but he was happy and secure now, and Rae knew that both her friends would make sure he continued to feel that way.

The sound of the front door opening made her jump and she logged off the Internet and made her way out into the hall. Jesse was re-setting the alarm and she stood, just a little way from him a satisfied smile on her face as he turned.

"Well, hi, beautiful, I thought you would be in bed." Jesse returned the smile and moved across towards his wife.

"I was working, and then I ordered something for the baby, and then I heard you, and here I am. He is still ok isn't he, Jayden?" Rae counted the things off on her fingers, smiling as she spoke.

"Oh yeah, he's doing well, he's strong like his dad, but he'll need to be. He shouldn't have been here for another nine maybe ten weeks or so, it's gonna be hard.

"But Eliana did it, and she's fine, she isn't behind in her schooling or anything, she's just small, but then so are we so she could have been that way anyhow."

"I am not small, just beautifully proportioned." Jesse looked at his wife as he spoke and she saw the laughter in his eyes.

"Yeah, right, well, when you're ready, oh beautifully proportioned one, I shall be in bed, unless you are coming up with me right now."

Jesse appeared to think about the offer for a moment or two, and then laughed as Rae slapped his butt.

"Ok, ok, I'm coming, I ate at the hospital anyway, and I would rather be with you than on my own."

The words warmed her heart and, taking his hand into her own, she walked up the staircase with her husband, the case all but forgotten as she did so.

ooo

The morning dawned dull and wet and Steve, looking out of the window in his wife's room was glad he was in the warm and dry. He had sent Daniel home with his grandfather a little after ten and had been on his own ever since. He had spent the night scooting from one bedside to another, not wanting to leave either of them alone, but having little choice in the matter.

Jesse had volunteered to stay but he had refused the offer. Alex had come and seen him too, and as he had been working a double shift and planning to sleep at the hospital he had spent a little time with Jayden while Steve had nodded off in the chair by Jo's bed.

Now, as he sat there again, he saw her begin to stir and, after pressing the call button, Steve took her hand in his and watched her fight her way back to him, knowing that once she was conscious again his world would be complete.


	11. Chapter 11

**11** **Life**** and Death**

Michael sat at the breakfast table and looked out at the grey sky. He had been living in his new home for four months and was finally getting used to it. He had stopped buying enough vegetables for five or six people, didn't have to have anything in his cupboards that he didn't like any more and could, if he wanted to, walk round in his socks all day, not that he would dream of doing so. Folding up the _Daily Telegraph_, and placing it on the table, the Englishman stood up and moved across to the French windows as a smile played across his lips.

He was going into town today, he had planned to anyway, but now he would see Jo, his sister, and her new baby. Steve had called him and said that right now it was family only being allowed to visit and for a moment he had felt disappointed, until he realised that he was included in that description. He would go shopping first; get something for the little boy and for Daniel too. He had been waiting, waiting to buy something for his first nephew but not wanting to do so just for buying's sake. Now he had a perfectly good excuse.

Michael needed to go to the police station as well, he had to speak to Jo, which, due to her change in circumstances, wasn't an option at the moment, so he was going to take all the evidence and leave it with Gilbert Sholte and then go to North Hollywood. He had engaged the assistance of Rae Yeager for various parts of the investigation he had undertaken, and she'd promised to get back to him, but there had been another murder since then, and she was very busy. He knew though that she wouldn't let him or her friend down and he wanted to speak to her in person, just for a few minutes.

Steve had told him that Jo had been taken into hospital because she had collapsed in the street after seeing Wayne, and that one fact alone worried him greatly. He had a feeling that all of the information he had found, which led in one direction, would, eventually, incriminate the Texan ex-police officer as well, unfortunately; so far, he had covered his tracks too well for any connection to be found.

Michael watched as a lone bird scratched around in one of his unmade flowerbeds and tried to work out why it was that Debbie had set up the credit card account in Jo's name. He was absolutely certain that it was her doing, but it seemed such a little thing, and he wondered whether she had been paving the way, doing something relatively innocuous to see if she could get away with it before moving on to bigger and, to her, better things.

He would suggest to Jo that she get all her financial accounts checked and double-checked to make sure that things were running as they should, but until she was back on her feet again he had no intention of worrying her any further than he was sure she already would be. Michael knew that she needed to find a new accountant following the death of Mr. Fox and with her financial reputation it was a task that couldn't be taken lightly. Those problems, however, paled into insignificance when Michael thought about the baby, and for a moment he was overwhelmed with concern as he pondered how his sister would cope with Jayden being in the NICU.

Despite himself though, the name brought a smile to his lips again, Jayden Daniel Michael Sloan. The feelings when he had been told the child's full name were almost indescribable. He knew that Steve's middle name was Michael, but the proud father had told him that, this time, they were honouring Jayden's uncle and brother, and the places they would have in the little boy's life.

Although he hadn't said anything to anyone he had wondered whether Jo would ever fully acknowledge his position in her family. Accepting the fact that her father had indulged in an affair, albeit before she was born, had been hard for her. Michael knew that she viewed her parents idealistically, they had, after all, died when she was only five, any memories of them were hazy at best, and generally romanticized. It would have been easy to put all the blame for ruining that at his door, but she hadn't, and now she had, with one simple act, shown him that he was, in her eyes, a Walters and he realised that he liked that, he liked that a lot.

ooo

Rae had sent Jesse off to work with precise instructions on the type of flowers to buy from the hospital florist, what to put on the little card and even what little card it had to be. He had taken it all in his stride though and, as they kissed on the doorstep, Rae enjoyed the fact that they could relax in each other's company again, do their jobs and come home to a happy family life, and she kissed him just a little more.

"Mmmm, can I stay home today?" Jesse pushed a strand of Rae's hair behind her ear and then smiled at her.

"Nope, not today, and anyhow I thought the ER would grind to a halt without you."

"Well, yeah, there is that, I guess, but you are just being mean!" Jesse tried a pout, enjoying the moment between them, and wanting it to go on a little longer.

"I know, which is what got me where I am today, now go, I have to get to work, I think it's gonna be a long day." Rae grimaced, knowing that there would be more newspaper articles for her to read, more calls to return as well as make, and suddenly she wished she could remain at home too.

"Well, don't stay too long past quitting time. If necessary bring it with you and do it here, I could even help." He paused and then ran a finger down her cheek, "I love you, Rae, I'll see you later."

"I love you too, take care."

Jesse kissed her once more, running his fingers into her hair and pulling her close to him. For a moment as they broke free he wondered how Jan had dealt with Susan, but it was a fleeting thought and he smiled again as he moved away towards his car while watching Rae wave before going back in the house and then he started the engine and drove slowly down the driveway.

The good mood drained from her a little bit as Rae leant back against the newly closed door and she paused for a moment. The house was now totally quiet. Vicki had taken the girls over to pre-school and Sally's and Rae had about a half hour to herself before she had to leave. She suddenly remembered that she had Texas's letters that she was going to read through again to help Michael with his investigation. With a smile she made her way into the breakfast room and powered up her laptop, this part of her day, at least, she would enjoy.

ooo

"I owe you an apology." The voice arrived in the kitchen before its owner and Mark turned to see Daniel walking towards him.

"Oh, and why is that?" The smile on Mark's face was instant and broad; he loved his grandson with all his heart, and to have him stay with him was giving him great pleasure. He indicated with his hand before Daniel replied, and the boy sat at the breakfast table and looked out over the sand.

"When we talked the other night, I blamed you and the hospital for not being able to do enough, but I was wrong. You saved Jayden yesterday and my mom, medicine didn't kill either of them, it kept them alive."

"Yes, it did, thankfully. And he seems to be a strong boy; I am far less worried about him than I thought I would be. You know medicine is advancing all the time, I read an article only a week or so ago about some tests that a doctor in New York thinks might be able to pinpoint when an expectant mother could have problems with pre-eclampsia, but in advance, about a week or so in advance in fact."

"So what would that have done in Mom's case?" There was an interest in Daniel's eyes which Mark knew wasn't false, the boy really wanted to know.

"Well, we could have had her admitted earlier, got her on to the drugs not only for her but for the baby too, it may well be that we could have prolonged the pregnancy, I don't know by how long but any time at all would have been good."

"Do you think it could help Mom if she has another baby?" Daniel looked up as he heard his grandpa laugh. "What?"

"Daniel, do me a favour, ok?"

"Sure, anything you want."

"Don't ask your mom if she is gonna have any more children, not yet at any rate, she's likely to throw a bed pan at you!" Mark swallowed down the last of his coffee and then smiled, "You better get some breakfast, or you'll be late for class."

"No, Grandpa, not today, you can't make me go in today, I want to see Mom, and Dad, Jayden too, please, Grandpa, please." Daniel was astonished; it hadn't occurred to him that he would have to go to school.

Although he tried to appear stern, tried to look as if he was at least thinking about sending him, Mark knew he was failing miserably and so he nodded, "Yeah, you can stay with me today, I'll call and let them know, but you tell your dad, ok?"

"Yes, Sir, whatever you say." Daniel knew he would agree to anything, he needed to see that his family was fine, then he could go back to school after the weekend and know everything was all right with his world once again.

ooo

The nurse had shooed him out of the room as soon as she arrived, and Tabitha, following along behind, hadn't invited him back in. Feeling a little superfluous Steve had made his way to the NICU where he felt very strange. Here too he was, in many ways, superfluous, there was nothing he could do medically for his son, and he found the room intimidating and scary, but he realised that by being there, by talking to him, watching over him, he was doing something that no one else could do, just as the doctors were, as the machines were, he was there being Jayden's dad and instead of feeling redundant he suddenly felt very important indeed.

When he arrived in the NICU, a young man he didn't remember seeing the previous day was sitting, alone, next to a small baby, maybe a little bigger than Jayden and Steve smiled at him as he made his way towards his own crib.

"Hi." His voice was slightly muffled behind his mask, and wondered whether he had been heard.

"What? Oh, sorry, hi." The young man, no more than twenty, maybe twenty-two, Steve reckoned, looked up and a smile, hidden by his own mask, almost reached his eyes.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, just a little scared, is all."

"I think that goes without saying in here." Steve didn't sit down, but he checked on Jayden before he moved over towards the other young man. "My name's Steve Sloan, and … well, this is a good hospital, y'know."

"Yeah, I know, but she is just so tiny, and, I guess you can understand how helpless I feel."

"I do, but hang in there, it's all any of us can do." Steve suddenly felt awkward and he turned to walk back towards his son.

"Thanks, Steve, apart from you no one except a nurse has spoken to me yet, I've been here for," the young man checked his watch, "almost four hours so far, how about you?"

"Oh, since yesterday, yesterday sometime." The hours had, he realised, all merged into one, if it hadn't gotten dark he wasn't sure if he would even know that the day had changed.

Jayden was lying in the same position as he had been when Steve had left the previous evening. The little hat was still on his head, the bandages still covered his eyes, and the tiny, but huge looking, diaper still made his legs seem as if they would never carry him. Steve knew he was quite tall, at six feet two inches, and Jo was about five eight, so he guessed that Jayden would be tall too, right now he looked so small, so frail, that even though he had enjoyed planning for his baby's future when he had been inside his mother, Steve was suddenly too frightened to even think about tomorrow.

ooo

There were eleven daily newspapers on Rae's desk when she arrived and she knew that the following week there would be magazines too. With a groan she sat down and, for a moment or two, just looked around her. She needed a tidy, organised desk, otherwise her life didn't work the way she wanted it to, and right now she didn't have a desk, she had a small dumpster.

"Coffee, one black coffee, with sugar and a rubbish bag, then I need to clear up … and stop talking to myself." Rae looked at the dirty cup on her desk and realised that she hadn't washed it the previous evening. Consigning it to the wastebasket by her feet she made her way over to the refreshments table, got herself a drink in a new mug and then grabbed a couple of brown bags from a drawer before returning to her very own little dumping ground.

"Wow, what happened to your desk?" Cheryl had come into the room and looked in astonishment at Rae's part of the room. "Even Steve's is cleaner than yours."

"Oh that's it, insult me when I'm down!" Rae looked over and sure enough her partner's desk was neat and tidy. "It's all these phone messages, newspaper articles, and heaven knows what else. I'm gonna go find me some back up."

"Well, I'll help you. What do you have?"

"I picked up a murder yesterday, old guy, concentration camp survivor I think. I have a possible ID on him and I'll run his prints today. I want to work on that, I could do with a break from Dominic Little."

"Let me go through these, highlight the articles you need to look at, will that help?"

"That would be wonderful, thank you." Rae smiled and felt relief flood through her.

Cheryl picked up the top paper and scanned the front page, immediately she could see one section that related directly to the case with two editorials indicated below it. Deciding that she didn't want to know just how big a job she had volunteered for Cheryl gathered all the newspapers together and then hauled the lot over and plonked them on her own desk. She then grabbed an empty chair with arms and rested them on the seat, once that was done she too got herself a hot drink and began to look through the daily edition on the top of the pile, hoping that she would be done by lunch time.

For a few moments Rae watched as Cheryl organized herself, and then she turned her attention back to her desk. She piled all the telephone messages into one, not too tidy, or stable, heap and then began to read through the internal mail which had also be sent to her. It all related to the Red Rose killings except one, a message from Amanda caught up in the wrong pile, telling her that she had a positive ID for their corpse.

Apparently Albert Hardy was seventy-six years old, and Rae again felt the sadness of the previous day return as she thought of how he had finished his life. She knew that not everyone was lucky enough to go to sleep one night and never wake up again, but she also knew that no one should die by violence and she would try her hardest to find out who had ended Albert's days in such an awful manner.

Logging on to her computer Rae checked for any extra mail that had come into her personal in-box and then went onto the Internet, opened up a search engine, and waited, not too patiently, for the 0.10 seconds it took to find her 1,480,000 hits for Auschwitz. Then, as she slowly drank her coffee, she immersed herself in a world of horror that she hadn't visited since her school days.

ooo

"The nurse said it would be ok if I came in, just for a little while." Daniel had a mask and gown on and for a second Steve didn't recognize him

"Don't they do that in a smaller size?" Steve looked at the blue outfit and smiled behind his own mask, for the first time his eldest son looked undersized to him. Height-wise it was just fine, but Daniel was still filling out and it hung off his shoulders.

"Oh ha ha."

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" Steve raised his eyebrows as he questioned his son.

"Nope, Grandpa said I could have the day off." Even with the mask on Steve could picture the triumphant smile on Daniel's face and he shook his head, his dad was putty in the boy's hands, just as he would be with Jayden.

Daniel looked down into the crib and was instantly silent, his grandpa had told him that his brother would look small, and strange, not like the new babies that you saw in books, but even with the warning he was shocked.

Steve had, so far, kept his fear far enough under the surface that he could at least sit and be with his son, but the emotion in Daniel's eyes was almost too much for him and for a moment he had no idea what to say or do, then, acting on instinct alone, he moved his own chair so that it almost touched that of his eldest son and enjoyed the closeness as they sat and watched together.

The silence continued for almost ten minutes before a nurse came over and gently touched Steve on the shoulder.

"Mr. Sloan, we need to check on your son."

"Oh, I'll go see Mom then." It was as if Daniel had been waiting for an excuse to leave the NICU and Steve, seeing the plea in the boy's eyes, nodded his head and watched as he looked one more time at his brother before making his way over towards the exit.

"So, Mr. Sloan, have had any contact with your son yet?" The nurse, who had the name Belinda on her badge, smiled as she spoke.

"What? No, I mean … he's so small, I can't do that … can I?" His heart was suddenly thumping and his mouth was dry, he wanted desperately to place his hand on his baby, but he was too terrified to even think about it.

"Have you touched him at all?"

"No, I've just sat here." He knew he was shaking his head, but he didn't seem able to stop the movement. "What should I do?"

"Go over and wash your hands and arms, there's a sink right there, then once you're clean come back and we'll initiate first contact." Belinda smiled as she spoke, hoping to lighten the mood a little and then stood and watched as the handsome, but extremely nervous, man in front of her changed from shaking his head to nodding it and made his way, albeit a little shakily, towards the part of the NICU she had indicated and then she began to check the baby's vital signs.

"Ok, I'm clean; at least I think I am, should I wash again?" Steve made his way back over to Jayden's crib, making sure that he didn't touch or brush against anything as he did so.

"No, no, I'm sure you've washed up just fine. There are a few things that need to be done, and I thought that we could do them between us, you being a doctor's son and all."

"Me? But … what?" Steve stopped talking, not having any idea what he really wanted to say and in the end just nodded his head again, knowing that this nurse must think him a bumbling idiot.

"Ok, first of all we are gonna change his diaper, weigh it, and clean him a little." Knowing that Steve hadn't yet touched his son Belinda had decided that she would let him help her perform what were, to her, simple tasks as a first step. Carefully, not saying another word to add to her helper's panic Belinda pulled back the sticky tab on one side of the diaper before turning to Steve. "So, think you can do the other one?"

Steve again just nodded; he didn't have any words to describe the feeling of doing something for his son for the first time. He felt warm and soft to his touch and as he finished easing the tab back he brushed the tips of his fingers against the skin of his son's tummy. The job was over far too quickly and as Belinda carefully lifted Jayden to finish the first part of the task Steve looked down at him and wished with all his heart that he could take him in his arms and hold him forever.

ooo

Rae had determined that Albert Hardy had been put to work in one of the concentration camps of Auschwitz because of the tattooed number on his arm. Those prisoners who had been killed immediately had not received the infamous brand, which remained with them for as long as they lived; neither had those held at other camps such as Belsen.

History had been a subject that Rae had enjoyed at school and had continued to read for relaxation ever since. Martin also enjoyed history and since he had moved into the apartment at Oak Place they had been swapping books on a regular basis.

Albert Hardy had a social security number, and Rae had been astounded to find out that he was still working. A call to his employer had given her the details of his home address, and his bank, as well as the address where he worked, which strangely seemed to be in the same building where he lived. All of them would need to be looked into, and Rae planned to travel around a little after lunch and work though as many of them as she could.

She was just about to head out and get herself a quick bite to eat when she looked up to see Michael coming towards her.

"Hi, what can I do for you? It is me you've come to see isn't it?" Rae indicated the chair in front of her desk and was relieved that she had been able to get it back to its usual tidy and functional state.

"Yes, Detective, it is you I've come to see." Michael sat down and looked around him, he had never been in this part of the police station before, and he was interested to see where it was that Steve worked.

"I began to read through those letters again this morning, are you sure they have to do with all of the problems Texas had?"

"I have no idea, Madam, but somehow I get the feeling that Mrs Walters would not have kept them if she hadn't felt that they were of some value, and I don't mean monetary value this time."

"Mrs Walters, you mean Texas's grandmother, right?" Rae saw Michael nod his head and continued. "So why couldn't she have looked into the matter herself?"

"It would have been beneath her to have done so. And before you ask, a private investigator would have been out of the question also. Mrs Walters was extremely conscious of her position in society, and would have done nothing which might have, in any way, jeopardized that."

"Oh, I see. Well I guess I can go back through the records and find out what happened to the people in the letters. That might help, although as I don't know what I'm looking for I probably won't realise when I find it."

"Very good, Madam, thank you."

"Michael, it's Rae, even here, I am more than happy for you to call me by my first name."

The Englishman tilted his head slightly in acknowledgement and then made as if to stand up, but paused when Rae spoke again.

"Have you got anywhere with the investigation into who took out the card in Texas's name?"

For a moment there was silence as Michael considered how much to tell the woman in front of him. But in the end he remembered that his sister had instructed him to discuss it with her best friend and so he began to speak.

"I feel that all the evidence leads to Mrs Walters contacting the credit card company."

"Mrs Walters? You can't mean her grandmother this time … are you talking about Debs?" Rae looked incredulous for a moment but then began to think. She knew that both Texas and Michael had never liked the young woman, even going so far as to call her Miss Prissy Knickers, Daniel hadn't liked her either from what she had heard. Rae hadn't spent very much time with Debbie, and so didn't feel qualified to make a judgement herself.

"Yes, Madam, uh, Rae, that is who I mean. But I have no concrete evidence that I can present to anyone. However, the dates when the card was applied for, and also activated, fit in with visits to LA made by Mrs Walters."

"I know that Steve spoke to the Financial Crimes Division about this. It's identity theft, but I don't know, it doesn't seem … I guess she is so rich that this looks like small potatoes to me." Rae ran her hand through her hair; she had puzzled over the crime ever since Michael had given her the details. She knew that her friend was wealthier than she could ever understand, and to set up one credit card account puzzled her.

"I agree with you, Detective, but I wonder whether Mrs Walters was just testing the waters shall we say?" Michael saw Rae grimace at his joke, which he hadn't realised he'd made, and then continued. "My sister, as you know, is exceptionally prosperous, and I am concerned that there may be other things going on that we haven't, as yet, discovered."

"Well, I don't think that we can do anything more until we talk to Steve and Texas. I guess that the other partner at the accounting firm is taking care of her finances for now, and Cheryl is looking into the murder itself. All we have is a gut feeling that the two things are linked, but I have to say I don't see how they can be anything else."

Michael shook his head and then stood up. "I must let you get on with your work, Rae, but thank you for listening, and for reading through the letters again. I am going to the hospital now, if there are any messages I can pass on for you?"

Rae smiled, "Thank you. Just tell Texas that I will see her as soon as I am allowed, and if you see Steve tell him that the department runs just fine without him."

"Very good, Madam, and thank you once again for your time." Michael walked out of the squad room and, as Rae watched him leave, she wondered whether he would ever stop talking like a butler.

ooo

"There, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" Belinda wrote the last set of notes on her chart and then looked back at Steve. She was amazed to see that he seemed choked up and gently taking him by the arm she steered him over towards a quiet part of the NICU where they could talk privately.

"Mr Sloan?"

"I'm sorry, I …it's been a stressful couple of days, and then when that alarm went off, I … I thought." He stopped talking; suddenly voicing his fears was beyond him.

"You thought that it was something you had done, and that he was going to die right in front of you, yes?"

"I … I guess it happens to you all the time, but … oh, God, I don't know if I can do this. He's so small, and I'm just a big dumb cop." He had tears in his eyes now, as he fought to regain control of his own emotions, and his hands were held in tight fists, "All I have to do is sit here, why is it so hard?" The alarm had scared him witless, but Belinda had just reached over, reset the machine and then gently placed a hand against Jayden's back until he was relaxed again. If she could do it why couldn't he?

Carefully, not knowing if she should or not, Belinda placed an arm around the man in front of her. Although he didn't know it, she was very familiar with who he was and what he did for a living. She had seen him countless times on the television, had seen him in the ER and ICU but had never treated him.

"It's hard because you can't do anything, well much of anything, but as each day passes and Jayden gets stronger you will be able to do more. In fact, although you won't believe me right now, in a month or so you will be doing all those tasks by yourself, and you will enjoy doing them too."

Steve shook his head, but already he knew that he wanted to touch his son again, wanted to feel the soft almost paper thin skin against his own, and he realised what Belinda said was true.

Swallowing down his emotions he looked at the woman beside him, he knew he had seen her before, and he found a smile from somewhere. "I'm sorry, and thank you." He reached up and squeezed her hand as it rested on his arm, "I want you to show me how to do things properly so that I can help my son."

"It will be my pleasure. Now, look, there is Doctor Isherwood, go see her, listen to what she has to say about your little boy, and I'll see you later." Belinda gave him a gentle push and Steve made his way back over to Jayden's crib, his heart pounding once again, but with a slightly more positive feeling about the future.

ooo

"Thank you, Jesse, they are just beautiful, please thank Rae for me, as well." Jo wiped a tear from her cheek as she spoke and Jesse moved closer to her and, as the tears came thick and fast, he held her to him and let her cry.

It was five minutes before Jo moved away from her friend and again wiped her eyes. "I am so sorry."

"No problem, Jo, but do you want to tell me what's the matter?"

"Everythin'. I feel so helpless, so stupid, an' I just want to see my baby, but that scares me too."

"You know all of those emotions are perfectly normal, well maybe apart from stupid, I'm not sure why you would feel that." Jesse had taken Jo's hand into his own and was gently stroking the back of it. He knew that Steve was with Jayden, and he had seen Daniel heading in there too. He also knew that Doctor Isherwood had visited Jo, and he wondered whether his friend had been this upset with Tabitha.

"I feel such a failure, I was supposed to keep my baby safe an' secure for nine months, an' I could only just manage a fraction of that, I have killed one chil' an' I almost did it again."

"Jo, you managed, as you put it, twenty eight weeks and six days, I checked on his progress as soon as I got here this morning, he had a quiet and uneventful night, he's getting all the medication he needs to help his lungs mature, he will be fine, it'll be a long struggle, but trust me, it will all be worth it." Jesse smiled, when he looked at Eliana the pain and heartache of the first year of her life faded away, she was happy, full of the joys of spring, and he knew that she would delight him her whole life.

"Now, I want to check your stitches and then we need to get you out of bed, you've been in there far too long."

"What, no, Jesse, I can't do that." Jo was horrified, her whole body felt as if she had been hit by a truck, and she certainly didn't feel up to leaving her safe warm cocoon.

"Jo, Honey, we've only left you this long because you lost consciousness after Jayden was born and we wanted to monitor you constantly at rest for twenty-four hours. Well, those hours are up, and I am going to help you sit in your bedside chair. Let me just see how the wound looks this morning."

Jesse smiled at her, Mark had been going to get his daughter-in-law out of bed, but he had been called into a disciplinary hearing as soon as he arrived at the hospital, and had left a message that he would like Jesse to do the job instead.

Carefully Jesse moved the sheets back and then lifted Jo's nightdress and she felt herself begin to blush and wish that it was someone other than her best friend's husband doing this. He gently touched the area and then, once he had made both her and the bed neat and tidy again, he nodded and smiled.

"That's fine. Now, we'll take this in stages, ok?" He didn't wait for her to say anything, knowing that, as far as Jo was concerned, it wasn't ok, it wasn't ok at all. "First you need to shuffle up the bed so that you are in a sitting position."

Jo just looked at her friend, the fear she felt almost overwhelming her. She saw him smile his infectious smile though and gradually she nodded her head and, carefully placing her hands behind her, pressed her palms into the mattress and pushed herself backwards. The pain she felt was all encompassing, she was sure that her stitches and staples were going to come away and unable to stop herself Jo cried out.

"Arghhh, no, Jesse, no, I can't."

"Yes, you can, Jo, it's important that you get moving, for one thing, and for another how can you go see Jayden if you can't get out of bed?"

She nodded through her tears, and gradually removed her hands from her stomach where they had rushed as the pain started. Gritting her teeth she pushed down on the mattress again and this time did move a little way up the bed.

"There you go, see, I knew I was right."

"No wonder your wife pokes her tongue out at you." Jo growled at him, but then, as the wave of pain and uncertainty passed, she again moved a little further and gradually, over the next five minutes or so, she made her way into a more upright position.

"Wow, that was great; I thought it would take way longer than that." Jesse smiled at her and then leant over and gently kissed her cheek.

"Now, see that chair, the blue comfy one? That's what we're aiming for. Then Doctor Isherwood will come see you and report on what she found when she saw your son and then you will go and see for yourself."

Jo just nodded, the anxiety and fear were back with a vengeance and she had to consciously swallow them down as Jesse carefully pulled the bed sheets back.

"Ok, let's take a quick look at this wound, again, just to prove to you that there has been no change." He carefully moved her nightgown and this time the embarrassment wasn't there, she let him do what he had to, and even managed a smile as he finished.

ooo

The search warrant for Albert Hardy's small apartment hadn't taken long to obtain, neither had the one to gain access to all his financial and personal records, and Rae, after tidying her desk once again, had made her way a couple of miles down the road to see his bank manager.

The man's name was Humphrey Battle, and Rae was amazed to see that he fitted her mental picture of him almost exactly. He was a large middle-aged man; he had a short, neat, haircut and wore a blue pinstriped suit. The waistcoat was stretched to the very limit by a large waistline and she was sure that, as he sat behind his desk, all the buttons were going to go pinging around the room.

"So, Detective Yeager, what can I do for you and the LAPD today?" His voice was low and precise and despite herself Rae smiled.

"You're from England."

"Guilty as charged, Detective, although it's a long while since I've been there."

"Me too, although I try to get home at least once a year but it's been a while since I managed it. I would guess at Yorkshire from your accent."

"And you would be correct again, Lass."

"Now that's something I've never been called!" Rae ran a hand through her hair, "although I've learnt a few new names since I've been here."

"That I can imagine, so, what is it tha' wants?" Rae smiled despite the seriousness of the situation as Mr. Battle's accent came across loud and clear.

"You have a customer called Albert Hardy, or you did, he was found murdered yesterday, I have a warrant here to gain access to his private papers and see his financial details." Rae slid the official documents across the desk and then waited as Mr. Battle perused them.

"Well, they all seem to be in order; I'll get everything brought in here, shall I?"

"Thank you, that would be very helpful."

The papers, which had taken longer to find than to read through, showed that Albert Hardy had been a conscientious man at least where his finances were concerned. He received a monthly pension and a small weekly wage, paid all his bills by cheque regularly; either each week or each month, and also saved $110 every month in another account. That account had a little over $45,000 in it and Rae wondered what it was he had been saving for. There was also a safety deposit box, and in there Rae had found an identity card, an out of date German passport, a current American one and a yellow star, which she knew all Jews had to wear in pre-war Germany. There were also some faded photographs of a smiling happy family, and some slightly more recent ones of a young man with the Empire State building behind him, also smiling for the camera, presumably in his new land. The final item was a brown envelope, which contained a marriage certificate, a death certificate and a third certificate showing that Albert Hasdai had been granted American citizenship.

"I guess he changed his name from Hasdai to Hardy, what we would call Anglicised it. I'll need to take all of this with me for a while, I'll give you a receipt, and I'm guessing that you will freeze his account."

"Yes, I'll do that immediately; I didn't know Mr. Hardy, but I will make sure that everything is tidied up this end as it should be."

"Thank you, Mr. Battle, I doubt if any of this will be needed as evidence, if we pass it on directly to his next of kin I'll let you know."

They shook hands then and, as Mr. Battle put the official receipt into the now empty file of Albert Hardy, Rae left the room and made her way back to her car.

ooo

Steve had listened to Doctor Isherwood tell him pretty much what Belinda had already relayed to him as they carefully checked Jayden over between them. He nodded his head and tried to look at her as she spoke but found that his gaze kept returning to the small form of his child, now swaddled up in a blanket inside his incubator.

Belinda had noticed, when the alarm went off, that Jayden had been far more receptive to touch when there was nothing else happening, he hadn't been agitated at all when Steve had placed a cupped hand over his little head, and she had carefully wrapped him in a soft blanket, putting him back almost in the foetal position as she did so. One little hand had escaped the confines though and was peeking out from the top of the nest he was now resting in, and it was that more than anything which held Steve's attention.

"I said that your wife should be ready to receive visitors today, and she will definitely be able to come and see her son. Would you like to go and tell her the news or should I?"

"No, no, I'll go, it's just … I …" He paused, not sure that his words wouldn't sound silly to this highly officious woman.

"It's just that you don't want to leave your son alone. Lieutenant, he won't be alone, he has his nurse, Belinda, she will keep an eye on him while you are gone, and Doctor Travis was going to see your wife, I'm sure he will be only too pleased to come and sit with Jayden for a while." Tabitha smiled then and her face and demeanour softened as she did so.

"I'm sure he will, thank you." Steve smiled back and then made his way out of the door and along the hallway. It wasn't until two nurses had murmured 'doctor' to him as they passed that he realised he was still wearing the mask and gown.

ooo

Jo had felt so many different emotions as she sat in the comfortable chair by her bed that, for a moment, she had leant her head back and closed her eyes as she tried to recognize and come to terms with all of them. The movement though pulled on her stomach and she instinctively covered it with her hands once again.

Jesse was making some notes on her chart, and so she concentrated on her breathing, trying to regulate it and stop the heavy beating of her heart at the same time. Everything had happened so quickly, it was only two days since she had gone shopping, buying all the lovely things for Jayden and his nursery, she'd had no inclination that he was about to put in an appearance at that time, and the pleasant hours she had spent seemed a lifetime away.

Jo resolutely pushed the image of Wayne out of her mind, she couldn't cope with thinking about him right now, all she wanted to do was gather herself together so that she could go and see her baby. Or at least she thought she did, there was a part of her, and not that small a part, which wanted to just stay right where she was and let Steve stay with Jayden. But she needed Steve, and although she thought he was with their son she didn't know for sure, and that too unnerved her.

Daniel had come into the room as she was making her way from the bed to the chair, he had gently placed an arm around her and she had been glad of his touch as she took her three or four faltering footsteps. Now he was sitting on the bed, not saying anything, but looking at the Polaroid photos of Jayden that Steve had taken and left on her nightstand the previous evening.

"So, what d'you think of your little brother?" She had regained her composure now, outwardly at least and the question floated easily between them.

"He's tiny. You … well, you seemed so big, I guess you were making room for him to grow."

"Yes, I guess I was. But what d'you think of him, Jesse, you too, you've both seen my baby, what's he like?" Jo swallowed as she finished speaking, the unfairness of it all trying unsuccessfully, for now at least, to overwhelm her.

Jesse looked up from the chart and smiled, "Honey, he's beautiful, somehow when they are as small as he is they are even more of a miracle than when they are all plump and bouncy."

"He looks so fragile an' frail, in the pictures, like he's gonna break if we even think about touchin' him."

"Yes he does, but trust me, if you touch him with love, and are careful not to over stimulate him, he won't break, instead he'll grow and flourish under your care."

Jo didn't answer, she just nodded her head and wiped away a tear, but then she smiled as she saw her husband come into the room.

"Steve!"

"Hey, Honey, how're you doing?" He was in front of her in an instant, immediately on his knees so that he was the same level as her, and then as he leant in and kissed her gently on the lips the emotions got the better of her again and she began to cry, softly at first, her warm tears splashing onto his shoulder.

"Daniel." The voice was just a whisper and the young man turned to see Jesse indicating that he should leave the room with him. "How about we go back and see your brother for a little while?"

"Ok, sounds good to me." Daniel gently rested his hand on his dad's back, just for a second and then he left the room, hoping that he wouldn't be as scared when he saw Jayden this time.

Steve stroked his wife's hair and let her cry. He had read the book that she had bought him about having a baby and knew that her hormones would still be playing up, maybe even more so because of the way that Jayden had come into the world. He knew that anything he said would make no difference to her tears and so he kept quiet and still, except for the slow regular movement of his hand and let her cry herself out at her own speed.

Finally she moved back and smiled a watery smile. "Thanks."

"Any time. Now, how are you feeling?" He looked at her, concern evident in his blue eyes as he searched her face for the answer to his question.

"I don't know. I tried so hard, Steve, I did everythin' that Mark an' Jesse told me to, why did this have to happen?"

"Honey, I know you did, but you didn't tell anyone when you had headaches, or when your vision blurred, and you surely didn't tell me you'd seen Wayne, all those things had a part to play in Jayden coming early."

"So, you're sayin' that the pre-eclampsia, everythin' is my fault?" Her voice rose and she tried to move out of his embrace, but Steve wouldn't let her.

"No, I'm not saying that at all, and I certainly didn't intend to say anything about it right now, Jo some people have a tendency towards this condition, others don't. It's no one's fault. With David you weren't lucky, this time we have been, but he needs his mommy, Doctor Isherwood is gonna come see you in a minute and then you and I can go to the NICU together."

"You promise, you promise that we'll go together? I don't think I can do this alone." The tears threatened again then and Steve pulled her closer to him, feeling her tense up as he did so.

"Jo, I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No, no, I'm just tender is all. Actually, I'm more than tender, but gradually it will get better. Hug me again, I've missed you bein' able to get this close."

He chuckled then, and moved towards her again, kissing her tenderly on the lips as he did so. "I love you, and from now on everything that we do for our children we will do together, ok?"

She just nodded, even though the fear was still there, it had receded a little as he entered the room, and Jo knew that as long as he was with her it would never take a strong hold on her again.

ooo

The apartment block where Albert had worked was a depressingly dingy place. There was a fire escape making its way from side to side in a zig zag pattern up the back of the building which caught her eye as Rae parked her car, and she counted five landing areas where she could see doors leading out to the metal stairways.

Walking past the row of dumpsters Rae made her way towards the sidewalk and then in through the front of the building. The area wasn't a crime scene so nothing was cordoned off and Rae suddenly realised that she might have a problem getting into the small office that she could see at the end of a dark and depressing hallway.

The door though, was open and, pulling on a pair of latex gloves, she began to look through the desk that was just inside the door. There was a notice board on the wall to the right of her and glass windows along the front of the office so that anyone sitting in there could see whoever entered the building.

Rae knew that most buildings didn't have a permanent custodian or caretaker any longer, and she wondered why this dismal abode had benefited from Albert's attentions. The drawers didn't contain very much; a couple of novels, both well thumbed, a packet of gum, two boxes of matches and a tin of tobacco and the papers to make roll up cigarettes. There was also a black book about the size of a five-year diary and Rae took it out, leant back in the chair and opened it at the first page.

January 15th 

_Mrs Bates complained about John Royal again. I've been and had a word, he says he'll keep the music down, but I know I'll be there again by the end of the month._

_January 19th_

_Mrs Everson left her bath running, she flooded the room, ruined the carpet and wants to know if the insurance will pay out! I got her the forms but I'm not holding my breath._

Rae flicked thought a few more pages, none of the entries was more than a couple of lines, there were some days which had three or four entries, other days which had none, but it seemed that Albert had noted everything down. With a sigh Rae put the book to one side; she knew that she would have to go through it, read all the entries, just in case. Maybe, she thought with a smile, maybe she could get Jesse to read it, or at least some of it.

She turned in her seat, the notice board she had glanced at before now held her full attention and she saw various business cards pinned there. They contained the addresses and telephone numbers for electricians, plumbers, pizza delivery and a diaper cleaning service all jostling for position next to the days of the week the garbage was collected, who to call in case of an emergency requiring the intervention of the rental agent, and a plethora of taxi cab cards.

Albert had lived in a small apartment right next to his office and Rae had picked up the key for that from the rental agent, making an appointment to go back and speak with the manager the following morning. As she had left their offices she had realised with a rush of disappointment that her Saturday was going to be eaten into again, and it was supposed to be her weekend off.

Unlocking the door Rae went inside and quietly closed it behind her. She didn't know what she had expected to find, maybe an apartment from a forgotten age, or something tatty and threadbare, it was neither of those things.

There was a brown three piece suite with two chairs and a sofa, a small coffee table with another two dog-eared novels on it and a TV guide open to Wednesday's programmes. A square pine dining table with four matching chairs took up the far end of the room along with what she would call a sideboard that had a lamp on one end, a portable TV the other and three photo frames containing pictures of smiling people in the middle which she collected together and put on the dining table.

Rae opened the doors on the sideboard to discover a game of Scrabble, two packs of cards and a cribbage board. There was also a German to English dictionary, a travel guide to Israel and a copy of The Tanash which Rae knew was the Old Testament. The two drawers between the cupboards contained tablecloths and cutlery along with three birthday cards, all saying _to Dad_, which she kept out, an envelope with 'paid bills', and another with 'unpaid bills' on the fronts, a folder containing bank statements and check books as well as an address book and again they were added to her pile of things to take with her.

Leading off the living area was a kitchen with a counter used as a tabletop that had two bar stools underneath it. Rae guessed that Albert had been more nimble than he looked.

The kitchen was clean and tidy, nothing was left out on the work surfaces, the clean dishes were draining and the carpet looked vacuumed. Rae pulled open all the drawers in turn but found nothing except what she would expect to find in a small kitchenette.

Rae checked that there were no signs of Albert having any pets which would be left unfed and then moved back through the living area and into the bathroom. Despite the sadness of the situation she couldn't help but smile as she looked around. Again the room was clean and tidy, but it was so obviously a man's room. There was one bar of plain white soap in the sink, and a tube of toothpaste and a brush in a beaker. Another bar of soap rested on a plastic oval dish by the tub. Along side it was a bottle of green coloured shampoo and a washcloth. There was one roll of toilet paper on a holder and another one still in the wrapper on the floor to the side of the toilet. Next to that was a bottle of bleach and a toilet brush. There was nothing else, apart from a towel, in the entire room.

The bedroom was also sparsely furnished; there was a queen-sized bed with a highly patterned quilt over it. The nightstand had a set of three drawers and Rae pulled the first one out and began to go through the socks she found there. At the back of the drawer she found a small, snub-nosed .38 revolver, unloaded, that she rested on the bed, but nothing else.

The middle drawer had a number of pairs of not too white underwear and some vests in it and the box of ammunition to go with the gun. The bottom drawer had a set of overalls and a chequered shirt in it. Rae wasn't sure why they had been put by themselves, but she guessed that maybe Albert used them for decorating or something and didn't want them mixed in with his other clothes.

There was one wardrobe, single door, and she opened it to find three pairs of pants, one empty hanger, four shirts and a dog tooth check jacket with leather patches on the sleeves. Underneath there were three pairs of shoes, two brown and one black.

With a sigh Rae looked around at what Albert had collected in his seventy-six years, or at least the years he had been in America, it didn't amount to very much. There was one photo in the bedroom, it was older in style than the ones she had picked up in the living area and Rae had a feeling that it was Albert's late wife. She rested the frame on the bed next to the ammunition, stretched slightly before looking around once more and then got down on her knees to look underneath the bed.

In her time Rae had seen and found some disgusting things under beds, but thankfully she realised that she wasn't going to add to her collection today. There was one pair of carpet slippers resting just about where you would get out of bed, but out of sight, and that was it. A film of dust was apparent across the mossy green carpet, but even that wasn't as bad as some she had seen.

The search had taken her a little over an hour, there was no huge pile of bills to go through, just the envelopes she already had, no answering machine tape to listen to, very little personal stuff at all, and Rae gathered up her things with a feeling of sadness washing over her. She would take them back to the car, lock them in the trunk and then come and knock on doors for a while, to see what she could find out about Albert from those who, presumably, knew him quite well, his tenants.

ooo

He had seen the new car in the parking lot and wondered who it belonged too, but never in his wildest dreams had he thought it would be that cop. Carefully he moved the curtain back and watched as she placed some things into the rear of her vehicle before locking it and re-setting the alarm. If she put the alarm back on then she wasn't leaving, wasn't finished with her business here and, feeling the knife resting in his pocket, he wondered whether that business would bring her to his door.


	12. Chapter 12

**12 Family Ties**

Jesse could see from his wife's body language that she had had a long and tiring day. He had only just arrived himself, and so he watched her park her car, kick the door shut with her foot, and then haul a pile of stuff off of the back seat, he opened the front door and smiled before moving forwards to help her.

"When I said bring it home I meant just **your** work, not the entire stations."

"Oh ha, ha, are you gonna just be a funny guy or are you gonna help me too?" Rae struggled to contain the folders she held in her arms, watching as one slid to the right before stopping it with her elbow.

"What with these surgeon's hands?"

"Yeah, or I'll use these cop's hands on you." Rae stuck her tongue out, but smiled as Jesse ran over and took the folders from her.

"Put them in that room we keep meaning to make into an office, it has a lock on the door." Rae watched Jesse nod before making his way into the house and she turned to the car again, pulled her laptop case towards her, put the strap over her shoulder, and then grabbed a cardboard box that had newspapers and other documents resting inside it. She felt a nagging pain from where she had been shot but pushed it away; she didn't need to think about that right now.

By the time she had pressed the button on her keypad to lock the car and turned round Jesse was back, taking the box from her. "Let me have that, I don't want you to struggle."

"Thanks, Honey, I appreciate it." Rae kissed his cheek as he freed her hands and then followed him into the house. As she did so she could hear her eldest daughter chattering away and, placing her laptop in the hallway, went into the breakfast room.

"Mommy, Mommy, look what I made." Eliana was down from the table where she was eating her dinner in one bound, rushing over to the sofa and grabbing a picture which she handed to her mother before doing a little jig of excitement in front of her as she waited for Rae's comments.

The picture was made of paper drinking straws and was of their house. Part of it had been painted brown and some of it was white and there was green grass and blue sky. Drawn on in front of the building were five smiling people and then two more people a little further behind.

"So who do we have here then?" Rae crouched down and put one arm around her daughter, kissing the soft cheek as she did so.

"Neya, an' you, Daddy, Miss Vicki, me an' Chey wif Martin." She beamed at her mother. "Miss Amy said it was beautfl."

"And Miss Amy was right, Honey, it's just lovely. Now sit back up to the table and finish your meal. We'll find a special home for it once you are done, ok?"

"Ess, Mommy."

"Do you need a hand?"

"No, fankyew, Mommy." Eliana clambered back up on the chair and Rae realised that her little girl no longer needed help; she could climb up, sit down and cut up her meal, all without the aid of anyone else.

Anneya had been eating slowly while Rae had talked to her sister. Her eyes had rested on her mother and stayed there, and now Rae moved round and sat in the empty chair next to her.

"Hi, Sweetie." Rae signed as she spoke, knowing that her daughter, at two years old, had a vocabulary of a great many regular signs plus a good few of her own making. The little girl smiled and then dropped her cutlery before flinging her arms around her mother's neck and hugging her tight.

Vicki was sitting at the table and she smiled at the scene in front of her. "We've had a lovely afternoon; we made some things as well."

Again Rae marvelled at the differences between the two girls. Even at Anneya's age Eliana would have been beside herself as her mother looked at her handiwork, whereas Anneya was quite content with the hug and the contact between them.

"I didn't make you any dinner as Mr. Travis called to say the two of you would be eating out tonight."

"He did?" Rae looked up, amazed.

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't know it was a surprise." Vicki was instantly worried as she spoke.

"It wasn't, I just hadn't told her yet." Jesse had come into the room, and as he stood there Eliana again got down from the table and rushed for her picture.

As he looked at it and enjoyed her happy chatter Jesse gazed briefly at his youngest daughter and his wife together at the table. Rae's face was at peace, and he knew that he needed to grab hold of these moments and turn them into memories, because this was how life should be.

ooo

The bed in her room seemed so cold and empty as Jo carefully got back into it and as she watched the nurse check her IV a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Are you alright, Mrs Sloan? Do you want me to get someone for you?"

"No, that's ok, thanks, my husband is just comin', he won't be a minute."

She waited while the young woman neatened her bed around her and then watched her leave before looking at the space where, in her dreams, she had imagined a crib would sit before saying to herself angrily, "You need to just be thankful you have a crib somewhere in this hospital, an' stop feelin' sorry for yourself!"

The self-admonition didn't help, the tears were too near the surface to stop and turning her head away from the door Jo began to sob, her shoulders heaving as her desperation took over.

Steve had waited in the NICU an extra few minutes after Jo had left, his wife had been quite upset and withdrawn and he just wanted to thank Belinda for her kindness as she had walked her through all the different lines and monitors around the crib. Once that was done though he had hurried towards Jo's room, breaking into a run as he heard the sound of crying.

For a moment he stopped dead, his wife's upper body was shaking and heaving and Steve didn't think he had ever seen her in such torment before. But then he moved again and speaking as he did so, placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Jo, Sweetheart, whatever is it? Honey, shhh."

She couldn't speak, so deep was her despair that any communication between them was impossible and carefully Steve placed his arms around her so that he could at least hold her while her tears flowed.

The sobbing seemed never-ending and Steve had no idea how to get her to stop, or whether she should even be crying like she was after such a serious operation. In the end, not knowing what else to do, he reached over and pushed the buzzer, mouthing his father's name when the nurse came to the door.

After that he gently rubbed circles on her back, knowing that she liked that, but not knowing whether or not she was even aware of his presence, let alone what he was doing.

"Jo, Honey, this isn't doing you any good." Steve looked up as he heard his father's voice and felt the relief wash over him.

"She's been crying for a while, Dad, I … I just thought someone should know." Steve carefully extricated himself from his position and moved back so that Mark could get a little closer.

"Jesse tells me that you got out of bed, and into the chair just like I wanted you to, and I know you walked from your wheelchair in the NICU, but it's all a bit bewildering isn't it?" Mark pulled the blue chair across and sat next to the bed before speaking again.

"Now, it's been a few hours since I saw my newest grandson, so tell me, how was he?" Mark's face was full of interest, and Jo, looking up, slowly swallowed down her tears and tried to get herself back under control.

Steve knew that he shouldn't interrupt and so he sat down in one of the less comfortable chairs and waited in a silence broken only by slowly diminishing sobs.

"What … what did I do wrong, Mark?" The question surprised Steve but didn't seem to be doing the same for his father and he was so glad that his dad was there.

"Nothing, you did nothing wrong. Some women sail through pregnancy, no worries, no problems, they breast feed for eighteen months and then do it all again, equally trouble free. Others have one pregnancy where they are fine and then one where they aren't. Look at Rae, Eliana was born at seven months and Anneya had no intention of being born ever!" The mention of her best friend got a smile from his daughter-in-law and Mark took her hand in his own and squeezed it.

"Honey, nothing that you did caused your pre-eclampsia, you aren't to blame, ok?"

"But … but Steve said me not sayin', you know, about the headaches an' thin's. Maybe if I had, you could have kept Jayden inside longer."

"Maybe, but I doubt it. Jo, as soon as you had a convulsion, which means it was turning into eclampsia, there was no way we were going to prolong the pregnancy and I think you would still have had that." Mark had stared hard at his son until Steve looked away, but still he said nothing, wanting his wife to keep talking.

"So no one can tell me why this happened, I just have to accept it?" Jo ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back from her face, and for a moment the white streak shone out in contrast to her dark brown locks.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I know that doesn't make it any easier to understand, in fact I think it probably makes it harder, but unfortunately that's the way it is. Your baby is doing just fine but I am a little behind on what is happening, so, are you going to tell me or not?" Mark tried to move the conversation on, what he said was true, and he wanted to stop her dwelling on it, at least for a little while.

"Sure, shall I just go through what happened when I went for my visit?" Jo saw Mark nod his head and then smiled as Steve moved closer to the bed and she began to talk, taking her father-in-law and husband into her memories with her.

_"How many babies are in here?" Jo had to admit she hadn't thought about anyone else's children until she got to the door of the NICU and then she realised that she would be sharing the room with other couples._

_"About five I think. I know one of them is due to be released this week, and there was a little girl brought in earlier so yeah, five." Steve pushed open the doors and then manoeuvred the wheelchair quickly through so the heat didn't escape. _

_"You need to wash your hands and your arms, then I'll help you over to the crib. Jesse said you were to walk there."_

_She had waited while Steve and Jesse talked quietly in the hallway, now she knew what about and her heart had tightened in fright. "I can't, not in here, what if I fall?"_

_"Honey, I'm not gonna frogmarch you across the room, I'll have a hold on you, I won't let you fall." He had watched her as she washed and then, true to his word had carefully helped her, slowly, very slowly, across to where their son was laying._

_"Oh, Steve.__ He's so small." As she had whispered softly her son, who was facing in her direction, had opened his mouth as if speaking to her, and she had gasped. "Hi, Jayden, oh, Baby, you don't know how pleased Mama is to see you." _

_Steve had crouched down beside her chair and kissed her cheek, "I'm just gonna wash up myself, and then I'll be back ok?" She had nodded her head, or at least she thought she had, her eyes were fixed on her son, not wanting to look anywhere else ever again._

"He looked like a real baby, Mark."

"Honey, he is a real baby, what did you think he would look like?"

"I … I read up a bit on it, an' I knew that he would be floppy, an' his skin wouldn't be all pink an' rosy like a full term baby, I think it was the fact that he was swaddled up, almost like they would do if he was here with me. Oh, I wish he was here with me right now." The tears threatened her again and Steve moved over to be closer to her.

"You know why he can't be, but by the time he was supposed to be here, well hopefully we'll all be together, that's about right isn't it, Dad?"

"I don't know, Son, it depends on how well he's doing by then." Mark paused and looked at his daughter-in-law's face, the tears had stopped, although he knew they weren't far away, and he wasn't sure if she wanted to say anything else.

"Honey, I know you have lots of questions, so if you want to ask some more I'll try to help."

Jo shook her head. "I don't think so, not right now, the nurse was really helpful, although I didn't say much to her, she seemed to know all the right things to tell me. I just want to go to sleep for a little while."

"Well then, that's what I prescribe. And tomorrow we'll get you up on your feet again and walking around. I'll send a nurse up to check your stitches and make sure your medication is all up to date, I'm gonna go sit with Jayden for a little while before I take Daniel home."

"Where is he?" Steve suddenly felt guilty that he hadn't spent any time with his eldest son.

"Michael came in a little earlier, and took him off to have dinner at Bob's, he'll be bringing him back here in about thirty minutes, then he can see his new nephew, which I have to say I think he is very anxious to do." Mark smiled, he had known that once Daniel had spent some time with his parents and his new brother he would be bored. He had visited with Alex for a while, but when his Uncle M had arrived he had happily gone off with him.

"Will they let him in if visiting hours are over?" Steve was concerned that the Englishman had sacrificed his chance to see Jayden to occupy Daniel.

"Oh yes, I'll make sure of it. And don't worry about Daniel staying with me, I'm loving it."

"I'm sure you are, but tomorrow he goes to school, ok?"

"No, I don't think so; think I'll keep him home tomorrow, maybe the next day too."

"Dad!"

"Steve, tomorrow is Saturday, Alex isn't working, they can spend the day together. I'm not due in until the afternoon, so I just might get to have some time with him too."

"Oh." Steve felt a blush rush up his face as he realised that he'd had no idea what day of the week it was.

"Maybe you should ask your son who the President is." Jo had a smile on her face now, but she reached out and squeezed her husband's hand as she spoke, taking the sting out of her words.

"And what he had for breakfast, how 'bout it, Son?"

"Hey, I've been a little busy ok?" This time he smiled and then, letting go of Jo's hand moved a little closer to his father. "Sorry. Thanks, Dad."

Mark shook his head, smiled back at Steve and then kissed Jo on the cheek before leaving them alone.

ooo

He had thought about running, but in the end he had hidden in the bedroom and let the knocking go unanswered. He knew it was her, she had identified herself through the door, calling out "Police, is anyone home?", and he had wondered whether she would kick in the door, but she hadn't, and the next thing he heard she was talking to the man across the hallway. Dominic-Matthew had no idea what his name was, had never spoken to him in all the time he had lived here, in fact he didn't think he had spoken to anyone apart from Albert, and now Albert was gone, he was safe again, he could change his appearance, he'd always fancied a beard, a little goatee beard, darker hair, maybe brown, dark brown, that should look good and he could buy a pair of glasses from the pharmacy, no one would ever know it was him.

The decision made he grabbed a hooded sweatshirt from the coat rack and pulled it on, he checked to make sure he had enough cash in his wallet and then, carefully checking the hallways before venturing out, he made his way down to the sidewalk and along to the all-night grocery store.

ooo

The meal had been very pleasant, and Rae, although she had been slightly dismayed at the prospect of having to get dressed up to go out, had enjoyed herself enormously. She and Jesse spent very little time alone together, and although she loved her children dearly, there were times when she needed to be without them.

Now though they were in bed, the short blue dress she had worn thrown over the back of the chair by her dressing table, and Jesse's pants and shirt in a heap beside it. The house had been silent when they had returned from the hotel down the street, where Jesse had booked a table, and they had crept upstairs quietly, moving into the seating area of their suite and sitting together on the loveseat, talking about anything and everything until gradually the words had been replaced with kisses, and their conversation had been forgotten.

Their lovemaking had been slow and tender and now Rae was lying, her head on Jesse's shoulder, enjoying the sensation of him gently stroking her hair. She sighed deeply and moved a little.

"Thank you. I really enjoyed my evening."

"Good, I'm glad. I wish I had the whole weekend off to spend with you, but Sunday we can all go out somewhere together, give Vicki some time to herself. If we need it I'm sure she must."

"True, she does have Mondays off, but I was thinking about hiring a cleaner or even a housekeeper, so that she just looks after Anneya and maybe the cooking." Rae pulled herself a little higher up the bed and smiled. "What do you think?"

"If it makes you happy then fine, we'll put an ad in the paper. Now sleep, tomorrow will soon be here, and I know you, you'll be working away by eight."

Rae nodded her head and snuggled down again, finding her rightful place back on Jesse's chest. He was right, morning would come far too quickly and she wouldn't even have time to think about tonight.

"I love you, Jess, I always have."

"I love you too, now shhh, sleep." He felt her hair tickle his skin as she nodded her head and then he closed his eyes, safe in the knowledge that they were still together, just as they were meant to be.

ooo

"I don't believe it. I get to spend the entire weekend at the beach and it's raining!" Daniel sat at the breakfast table and watched the rain lash against the windows. Alex, who had come up to share the meal with his friend, nodded his agreement.

"I don't get weekends off all that regularly either you know. But we can find other things to do." Alex finished his cup of coffee as he watched the young man in front of him.

"We could go quad biking, dirt biking if you want. Horseback riding. Or we could chill out here this morning, I'm sure the weather will be fine by this afternoon." Alex had expected to see at least a spark of enthusiasm but was concerned when he saw none.

"Dan, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'm gonna go make my bed, tidy up my room for Grandpa. I'll see you later, Alex." With that Daniel got to his feet and walked away leaving Alex staring after him.

ooo

David Walters looked again at the telephone message from his brother-in-law in Los Angeles and smiled the first smile for what felt like a very long time. He knew that his little nephew still had a fight on his hands but he was alive and, after the heartbreak caused when his sister had been pregnant before, that was something to cheer about.

His own daughter was now almost three months old, he was so proud of her, and loved her unconditionally, they had named her Damita, and she was as fair as her mother.

For a moment David pushed his problems aside and looked at the photo of his little girl on the desk in front of him. She was resting in a cream lace covered bassinette and it had been taken just the weekend before. As he looked at Damita the telephone rang, breaking his moment of relaxation, and he reached out for it automatically.

"David Walters … thank you, will you tell him I will be out to see him in just a minute?" With a heavy heart he replaced the receiver and stood up. Things were very wrong at Walters Oil; the annual audit had shown up some discrepancies that were costing the company thousands of dollars a day and words like _fraud_ and _IRS_ _investigation_ were being bandied about by the accountancy firm with increasing regularity. The fact that he was in the office on a Saturday morning testified to the seriousness of the situation, and he was glad that his secretary was loyal and happy to keep him company and give him moral support.

His sister was the major stockholder in the company, and would automatically get a copy of the report, however, she wasn't in any fit state to deal with the fall out and David wasn't sure what to do next to protect the company he loved or the position he held. With a deep sigh he shrugged himself into his jacket, straightened his tie and made his way round his large mahogany desk and over towards the doors. He didn't think that he could be replaced without his sister's say-so, but he still felt dread with every step he took.

ooo

Rae had to laugh to herself as she sat down with her first decaffeinated coffee of the day and glanced at the clock. The time was two minutes past eight in the morning, and as Jesse had said she was already working. It had taken her a little while to get everything set out as she wanted it but now she was ready to start.

The bank details and checkbook were her first priority; she wanted to get them out of the way. Rae didn't think that Albert had been killed for his money, but you never knew. She also wanted to know how much he got paid, and when, for her appointment with the personnel manager of the company he had worked for. She was meeting him at eleven and hoped to be able to put most to the rest of the information away for the weekend before that time.

Slowly she began to look through the bank statements and check stubs and found, not at all to her surprise, that Albert had kept a meticulous set of accounts. Every penny was noted down and ticked off, and Rae sailed through the records without finding any anomalies that needed further investigation.

Once that was done she moved on to the statements taken the day before from the tenants of Albert's building. Three apartments had been empty and so she was going to have to either go back herself or send a couple of patrol officers down to question the occupants. Rae had a feeling that she would choose the latter course of action.

From what she had learnt the previous day Albert was a bit of a curmudgeon but none of the complaints she had heard were enough to kill him. He passed on complaints from one tenant to another, made sure the hallways were kept clean and sweet smelling, took mail and packages in for people when they were at work, and, everyone agreed, made their lives a little easier all round.

No one had seemed to find it strange that they had a custodian in their building, and a couple of the tenants had said that they hadn't even thought about it, Albert had always been there, and they realised that maybe the place wouldn't be so well run now that he was gone.

Two of the people Rae had spoken to had asked when the funeral would be, and she had made a note to get the information from the next of kin. She would need to call the numbers she had found in the address book and make appointments for that on Monday. Rae knew that Albert's three children had been advised about their father's death, and she was hoping to get them to come to her rather than have to travel out of town herself. The body still needed official identification and so, with Amanda's cooperation, Rae was planning to meet with them at Community General and then take them back to the station and speak with them there.

The next thing Rae began to look through properly was the address book. By the time she got to the letter D she thought it was probably one of the saddest things she had ever had to do. There had been three names and addresses in the A section, all were crossed through with the date they had died written next to them. The B section had his daughter in it and four other names. One was his barber the others had been crossed through.

There were no names under C, but a flick through the remaining pages showed Rae that there would be very few people to call up and talk to about Albert Hardy and she moved on to E with a heavier heart than normal when undertaking this part of her job.

By the time Rae got to Z her list of people to call was only five names long apart from his immediate family and Rae lifted the phone and dialled the first number wondering what she would find.

ooo

Steve had sat with Jo well into the night, not knowing what to say but needing to be with her. At some point he had obviously fallen asleep, and hadn't woken up until a nurse, moving carefully by had kicked the leg of his chair.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Mmmm, what?" Steve tried to get rid of the cotton wool in his brain as quickly as possible, and he ran his hand through his hair as he stretched his cramped back a little.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's ok, what … what time is it anyway?" Steve looked at his watch and was astonished to find that it was almost nine.

"It was me she meant to wake, but you looked so peaceful sleepin' there, like a baby." Jo's voice was relaxed and happy and Steve's face broke into a smile as he heard her.

"I'm about done here, Mrs Sloan, I'll let the NICU know that you will be down after Doctor Isherwood's rounds."

"Thank you, I'm tryin' to forget that I'm supposed to be walkin' there this mornin'." Jo pulled a face, but Steve and the nurse could tell that she was at least prepared to try and do as the doctor ordered.

It was ten minutes before Tabitha arrived, explaining that she had been to see Jayden first, so she could allay any worries that the couple had thought about since their last chat.

Jo had explained her inability to stop crying the previous evening and had been reassured that it was quite normal. "We call it 'the baby blues', it hits everyone, or almost everyone, and if that is all it is it will pass as quickly as it came. But you must remember that you have been through a traumatic experience, and that trauma is going to continue for a considerable while."

Jo's eyes seemed to cloud over as the doctor spoke to her and she nodded her head, "I know, an' I am tryin' to feel positive about it all, but it's not easy."

"No, it's not, but I have to say that your son seems to be doing very well. I think that if you had managed to go the full nine months you would have had a quite large healthy baby. He is a little small for his age now, but that is due to the pre-eclampsia, and he's lost about a half pound since he was born, but he is getting all the nourishment he needs, he'll soon regain it."

"When … when can I start to feed him myself? Only I have to say I feel like I could feed the five thousand right now." Jo gingerly touched her chest and Steve could see that she was much larger and even firmer than normal.

"Well you can express that off, Jayden can't take it yet, but if you do that, even though you have to throw it away you will be stimulating the milk flow and when he's ready so will you be."

"When do you think the bandages will be taken off his eyes?" Steve had to admit that even though he knew they were there for a good reason he would be glad when they were gone.

"Not yet, they are removed when he is washed, and his eyes are checked, but right now he can't tolerate the light, so they stay on. When they do come off you will need to provide something like a blanket to cover his crib with, because the light will easily over stimulate him."

"I keep hearing that. He's only three days old but I've heard it a lot, what does it mean?" Steve wished he had his notepad with him; he wanted to write some of this down, he knew he would forget it otherwise.

"Over stimulate?" Tabitha saw the worried father in front of her nod his head and continued to talk. "It means only do one thing at a time, if you touch him, don't talk to him, if you talk to him don't touch him, when you can feed him don't make eye contact. He is very, very young, he can't cope with more than one thing happening to him at a time, and if you do over stimulate him then his oxygen levels will drop, and he could crash."

For a moment neither Jo nor Steve spoke, the words reverberated around in their minds, 'he could crash', and again they both realised just how tenuous their son's hold on life really was.


	13. Chapter 13

13 **Big Steps and Little Ones**

Amanda had come into the hospital on the Sunday to do the autopsy on Albert Hardy. She had taken fingerprints and sent them off as soon as he had arrived at her lab, and identification had been confirmed against ID found on the body. She had been extremely busy ever since though and as she knew that the family were coming in the next day she had no choice but to work the weekend if she wanted everything to be completed before they arrived.

Her first job of the day, however, had been to visit with Jo for a little while, and they had enjoyed their time together. Steve had arrived just as she was leaving and so together they had made their way to the NICU, Amanda pushing the wheelchair just in case Jo needed it. Being a member of staff she had been able to have a little time with Jayden before going back to work and Steve had given her a Polaroid picture to take with her.

Now though, that pleasant interlude was over and Amanda was scrubbed up and ready for work. Switching on her tape recorder she smiled at the rather green looking Rabbi sitting in the hallway just outside her lab and began to talk.

"Ok, Mr. Hardy, I know who you are, I have a pretty good idea what killed you, so let's get to work and see if we can't nail the guy who did this to you.

"The body is that of a Caucasian male in his late seventies, he is …" she paused, and then carefully measured the body. "Five foot ten inches tall, in reasonable physical condition for a man of his age, by eye only. The victim has a deep laceration, probably made by a knife extending from just below the left ear across the throat to an almost identical position under the right ear. The difference in depth beneath the lobes is …" again she paused to take a measurement, "just over a quarter of an inch. All main blood vessels have been severed.

"There are no other wounds on the front of the body, but there is a stab wound, inflicted first, in the victim's back. There is edema and considerable blood loss from this wound.

"So, when were you hurt? You were found on Friday, but I think you were killed on Thursday. All rigor mortis has gone, and had gone by the time I first saw you, which leads me to think that you were killed early on in the day and then discovered the following day." Amanda had checked the weather reports for the area where Albert Hardy had been located before she began and had noted down that the night hadn't been that much cooler than the day.

Amanda knew that the severity of the throat injury meant that death would have been almost instantaneous, with Mr. Hardy going into shock almost immediately and dying soon afterwards. She picked up a new comb from the metal tray beside her and carefully ran it through the white hair, collecting quite a large amount of loose and broken strands from the front part of the head.

"The hair collected would indicate that the victim was pulled up and then had his throat slashed having been disabled by the blow to the back first." She carefully put the hair into an evidence bag so that she could check for roots later, under the microscope, and then carried on talking.

"The probable cause of death is massive haemorrhage and shock brought about by the injury to the throat. The position of this wound and the one on the back of the body indicates that this was not self inflicted, Mr. Hardy was killed by someone else."

Amanda switched the machine off for a moment, she had done all she could just by looking at her victim, now she had to begin the full autopsy and for that, at the request of the family, she needed the rabbi to come into the room. The patrolmen who had responded to the initial call were now also waiting in the hallway and so Amanda went to ask them in, hoping that she would be able to do her job and help the police as well as keep true to Mr. Hardy's religious beliefs.

ooo

By the time Monday rolled around, and Rae found herself at Community General Hospital, the pleasantness of the weekend was already becoming a memory. The weather on the Sunday had been so glorious that they had just packed up a picnic and spent the day on the beach at Malibu. Alex, Shannon and Daniel had joined them for a little while but the young man had seemed distracted and not in the mood for company. Eliana had tried to get him to build sand castles with her but, in the end, even she had given up and moved on to her Uncle Alex instead, while Anneya had spent a contented afternoon collecting shells and lining them up along the sand or drawing pictures with her fingers helped happily by Shannon.

Rae had tried to talk to Daniel, but he hadn't wanted to listen and so she had left him alone, making a mental note to mention it to Steve when she saw him next. It was another worry to add to his load, but she wasn't sure what else to do.

Now though, as she sat in Amanda's pathology lab, drinking a cup of coffee, she was totally focused on the day ahead. Albert Hardy's children had requested that they be allowed to see the body and so, instead of identifying their father via a photo, the deceased had been made ready for them to view at the hospital.

Rae had, so far, only spoken to the daughter, whose name was Havi Browning, who told her that her brothers, Aaron and Ben would be coming with her and would like to speak with the detectives dealing with their father's case while they were in town. All three of Albert's children lived in San Diego and she had wondered idly why Albert hadn't moved there also.

Amanda had been paged just five minutes before to say that the Hardys had arrived and were waiting in the main reception area. She had gone off to meet them and explain a little of what would happen, and Rae was going to keep quietly to herself until the traumatic moments were over. Draining her coffee cup Rae picked up her jacket and moved out of Amanda's lab and, as she made herself comfortable in the hallway, she heard her friend speaking softly as she turned the corner and walked towards her.

"Mrs Browning, I can assure you that the autopsy was carried out in accordance with the doctrines of your faith. A rabbi was present, as you requested, and he was happy with everything I did. I know that usually a body is buried the same day as the person dies, but that wasn't possible in this case."

"What about the pouch, did you take him out of the pouch?" The male voice was strained and full of emotion as he spoke.

"Mr. Hardy, the body had to be cleaned, it was important to ascertain that no other wounds were hidden. But, once he was washed, I put your father in the pouch and did all the work there."

"Thank you. He was very devout, he didn't show his faith in any outward way, too scared I think, but he was proud to be Jewish." It was the daughter who spoke again, and Amanda could hear the emotion in her voice as well.

"Your father is in here, and then Detective Yeager is waiting to take you back to North Hollywood police station, but you can spend all the time you need, she will wait for you."

This time there was no reply and gently Amanda directed the three adults into the room and closed the door behind her.

ooo

Steve and Jo had spent almost the entire weekend with their son, and were both exhausted. Although they did very little, the sitting there, watching monitors, staring at Jayden to make sure he was ok, not being able to talk above a very quiet whisper, the overall worry of the situation, all these things were taking their toll, and by the Sunday night Jo had sent Steve home, telling him that he needed an uninterrupted night's sleep and so did she.

He hadn't wanted to go, but now, on the Monday morning he was glad he had. The house had seemed both enormous and far too quiet when he had arrived, but as soon as he had climbed into bed he had fallen asleep and not stirred until Juan woke him to take a phone call just after nine.

"Steve Sloan … David, hi, no another two days I think and then Dad said she would be able to come home … Not for at least six weeks, probably nearer eight or nine … we've had a few scares, the main thing seems to be that he gets over stimulated, but so far he's righted himself again each time … no, we've touched him though, but it's not enough, y'know …? Thanks. How's Damita …? That's great … Ok, I'm listening."

Steve didn't speak for over ten minutes except to either murmur assent or dissent, or ask David to repeat something, but he made notes on the tablet of paper next to him, and listened with a heavy heart to what his brother-in-law had to say. Finally, when he knew that David was finished he began to speak properly again.

"Have you been in touch with the local police …? You know you really need to. In LA it would be the Financial Crimes division, but if you contact your nearest station they'll point you in the right direction … No, I'll tell her, and I'll get her to call you when she's home … yeah, ok, you too, bye."

Steve put the phone down and stood looking at his notes for a long while before picking up the pad and making his way into the morning room. The table was set for breakfast and as he sat down and picked up the newspaper he saw a picture of the Red Rose Killer staring up at him. The photo referred to an article inside the newspaper showing women how to fight back against an assailant. Steve read the piece and then shook his head. The information was good, and against someone trying to grab your purse it might work, but against Dominic, Steve knew that none of the women had stood a chance, and he also knew that items such as this could give people a false sense of security.

His breakfast, a plate of eggs and bacon with toast on the side, was put in front of him just as he finished reading and the coffee pot was replaced with a fresh one.

"Thank you, Juan, is there anything we need to discuss before I go back to the hospital?"

"Si, Signor, the firm called about the playhouse, they want to come and begin construction work next week, and Mrs Sloan's designer called about the nursery fabric."

Steve realised that although there were only two messages he didn't actually have a clue about either of them, and so he wrote the details down next to the note from David and then nodded his head.

"Ok, thanks."

He flicked through the paper as he ate, stopping at the editorial page when his eye was caught by a headline condemning the LAPD.

_Sir,_

_It seems that, yet again, the local police force is unable to keep its citizens safe from the murderous rampage of a lunatic. _

_Millions of dollars are wasted each year on a service that isn't keeping up its end of the bargain. Aren't they supposed to 'protect and serve'? One wonders why the case of the Red Rose Killer is still in the hands of a local force when there is a specialised homicide division, and the FBI to call on, but I suppose that Chief of Police Masters has his hand in those pies as well or doesn't realise that he isn't God, and so does need to ask for assistance now and again._

_I wish I could be certain that the homicide detectives 'working', and I use the term loosely, this case will read this and get their act together, but that would mean not only putting themselves out and thinking about the citizens of this fair city, but also having to actually care about those of us still waiting to be protected and cared for. Thank God I'm not blonde._

As hate mail went Steve knew it was pretty tame. But, considering the amount of man-hours and off duty time that he and Rae had spent on the case, not to mention all the other officers who were doing the legwork, or the fact that they had involved the FBI, he found that it had gotten beneath his defences and annoyed the hell out of him. An enormous amount of time had been spent interviewing victims' friends and family, going over old files, employment details, anything to try and find a link between the dead girls and Dominic other than their hair colour, but he knew that as much as he would like to tell his side of the story, he wouldn't, he would instead just sit and quietly stew.

The signature, or name, at the end of the letter was R. Black, not that it meant anything, he could send in a letter and sign himself R. Black if he wanted to. Still he guessed that it was another avenue that would have to be checked out. He knew that the perp would try to insinuate himself into the investigation, as of yet that had just been a visit to the station, which Steve tried very hard not to think about too often, and the photos taken at the Reds nightclub. This could be him too, though, and so, no longer interested in his cold and congealing breakfast, he made his way back to the hallway and picked up the phone.

ooo

The morning sun shone through the blinds of her room, but Jo, fast asleep in her bed, didn't notice it. The soft warmth of a hand over her wrist though did disturb her and she moved a little to get more comfortable before opening her eyes to see a young nurse carefully taking her vital signs.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Sloan, I've let you sleep as long as I could, but it is almost ten o'clock and I thought you would want to be back with your son soon." The nurse was bright and smiling and, despite the discomfort she felt, Jo was unable to do anything other than smile sleepily back at her.

"Yes, I do, thank you. Am I too late for breakfast?" The last word disappeared into a yawn and Jo raked her fingers through her hair, pushing it back off her shoulders and deciding right then to have a shower as soon as she could.

"No, I kept some for you. I'll go get it. It's just cereal and orange juice, but it's not that long until lunch." The young woman left the room with a smile, and Jo, now almost fully awake, leant back against her pillow and let herself think over what had happened to her in the night, half of her still not able to believe that it was real.

Jo had woken up at two in the morning and been unable to get back to sleep. Her thoughts, as they always did now, had rested on Jayden and she realised that she wanted to go and see him, wanted to know what happened to him when the rest of the hospital was asleep, or most of it anyway. A smile crossed her face as she delved into the memory, looking forward to being able to share it with Steve a little later in the day.

Pressing the buzzer next to her bed she was extremely surprised when it was Tabitha herself who answered the call.

_"Oh, hi, I … um, I didn't expect it to be you!"_

_"Well, that makes two of us then, because I didn't either!" Tabitha smiled, but Jo could see the tiredness in her eyes. "So, what can I do for you, Mrs Sloan?"_

_Jo had given up asking the woman to call her by her first name all the time. Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn't, and Jo guessed that it had more to do with her mood than the patient she was addressing._

"I wanted to go see Jayden, to see what is happenin' to him at night when I'm supposedly dreamin'. That way, when I am lyin' here, like tonight, not bein' able to get off to sleep, I can spend my time imaginin' what he is doin'." Jo felt a blush run up her face and suddenly felt that her request was at best silly and at worst likely to be denied.

_"Ok, that isn't a problem. I'll get a wheelchair for you though, then with your robe on you won't get chilled."_

_Five minutes later Jo was gowned, masked and washing her hands and arms as well as looking around a totally hushed NICU. There were no other parents there, all of them were catching up on the sleep they would so desperately need to help them get through the next day, and the next and the next until they could take their precious babies home with them._

_Tabitha washed up as well and then together they moved across to where the tiny form of her son was lying, wrapped up in his swaddling and, to Jo's delight, wide awake. The pads, which covered his eyes, had been removed, he only had them on now when he received treatment from the Billi Lamp, and he was lying looking up at the ceiling, or whatever it was he saw in that general direction._

Jo was entranced all over again by the little boy, but still so scared of the future and what it held for him, for her, for all of them, and the tears which seemed to be a constant companion these days fought for a minute for supremacy before she beat them back.

_Doctor Isherwood had been checking on Jayden's progress and now she came over smiling. "He's doing very well. His weight is still down, but I'm not worried about that, he should start to slowly gain soon. As he is awake, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't hold him for a minute or two, if you would like to that is."_

_Jo couldn't believe her ears, she had thought that touching was all that was allowed, to hold him, to actually feel him in her arms, that would be; she stopped thinking, she had no idea what it would feel like and mutely she nodded her head, hoping that the loud beating of her heart wouldn't scare her child._

_Tabitha spoke briefly to one of the staff members on duty and the young lady came across. "Hi, my name is Diana, I'm the nurse assigned to Jayden's care at night. If you put this blanket across your lap then you can have a little cuddle."_

_Jo knew that she should speak, should say something to the woman in front of her, but the signals needed to make words out of thoughts didn't seem to be working and so instead she just nodded her head and kept her hands up and out of the way so that they stayed clean enough to touch her baby. She watched as her child was picked up carefully, and then placed in her arms, and she felt her loudly beating heart fill with love, even more love than she already had for her son. The display on the monitor_ _beside her began to flash, but Tabitha pressed a few buttons and then smiled as the numbers obviously began to behave themselves again. _

_Jo wanted to remember every second, to take in every tiny inch of her baby's face and memorize it. She heard her name being called very softly and looked up to see Diana with a digital camera in her hands. The shutter clicked and then with a smile the nurse and the doctor backed off a little bit and left Jo and Jayden together, each exploring the other in their own way._

The door opened again at that moment and the nurse returned with her breakfast. Brushing hastily at the tears that had slid down her cheek Jo smiled, knowing that the memories she had made in the early hours of the morning would be visited again and again.

ooo

Rae had booked the nicest of the interview rooms to speak with the children of Albert Hardy. She wished that there was a room similar to the one used in the sexual crimes division, calming and not at all official looking, but in homicide it was regulation décor everywhere you turned. The room that she was now sitting in though had been painted just the previous month and so was clean if nothing else. It also had a window that gave a view out onto the parking lot, not exciting but at least there was an extra dimension given by the cars moving in and out.

The visit to Amanda's path lab had obviously taken its toll on all three of Albert's children, and they were very quiet and subdued. Rae put her head around the door, saw a young uniformed officer walking by and asked him if he could get her some coffees. Then, knowing that her companions were having to get used to totally alien surroundings and happenings, she sat for a moment or two in silence before she cleared her throat and began to speak.

"I know that this is very hard for you, and I'm sorry that I have to add to your distress, but I need some questions answered, and the sooner I have those answers the sooner I can get on with the investigation."

"Why would anyone want to kill an old man?" It was the eldest child who spoke; the man Rae knew was called Aaron. "He came here to start a new life after the war; he never hurt anyone in his life. Not even flies or bees, he would shoo them out of the house and then tell them not to come back in because his wife wasn't so kind."

"She was though, she would let them out too, and tell me not to say anything. 'Abba mustn't know, he will laugh at me', she would say." Havi smiled, but it was a sad smile. "They are reunited, but I will miss him."

"Abba?" Rae looked up from her pad where she had been making a quick note.

"Father, it is the Hebrew for father. Ima is what he called her, that is Hebrew too, for mother." Havi explained the words in a way that made Rae realise she was used to telling people what they meant.

"How long ago did your mother pass away?" It wasn't vital to the investigation but Rae wanted to know how long Albert had been on his own.

"She died three years ago, I wanted him to come and live with me, but he wouldn't. 'My tenants,' he said, 'they will miss me. I have to stay.'"

"He didn't mind still working then? Or living alone?"

"No, he was always a solitary man. Preferring the company of his pigeons and his dog to any people."

"He has birds and a dog?" Rae looked worried as she heard Ben speak for the first time. "I checked his apartment; I didn't see any indication of pets."

"No, no, after his last dog died in the spring he said he wasn't getting another one. He was the only person allowed to have an animal, and it was supposed to be a guard dog. Stupid mutt, couldn't guard a fire and the pigeons, he gradually stopped breeding them and then sold his stuff off. I know he missed them but he said he was happy to read in the evenings and not have the responsibility." Ben shook his head and his eyes filled with tears. It was clear that the man was caught in his memories and Rae, feeling for him, turned her attention to Aaron and Havi.

"How often did you see your father?"

"I have business that brings me into Los Angeles at least two or three times a month. I always saw him once or twice that way and Havi, she would call him each week, try to get him to move to San Diego, but as she said, he wouldn't." Aaron's voice was almost totally devoid of any expression, as if by doing so he could keep his emotions in check.

"Did your father have many friends that he mentioned?"

"No, not many any more. There was Bernie; they came to America together at the end of the war. He owned the apartment block that father worked in, and where we all lived as children. Bernie died a few years back; his son runs the business now."

Rae nodded; she had spoken with Samuel Goldstein on the Saturday, and he had said that he kept Albert Hardy working as the custodian of the building because of loyalty to his own father. He had explained the links between Albert Hardy and Bernard Goldstein, and how the friendship had lasted almost sixty years.

He had mentioned Aaron, Benjamin and Havi, and told Rae they had played together as children, but he hadn't seen them since they had all moved out of town. As Rae had left Samuel had asked if she could let him know when the funeral would be as he wished to pay his last respects.

Rae made a quick note to mention it at the end of the meeting and then began a line of questioning which she knew would cause upset and probably anger.

"Do you know of anyone who would want to harm your father?"

"Of course not!" The reply was sharp and instant and Rae locked eyes with Aaron.

"Sir, someone harmed him, it wasn't a robbery gone bad, his wallet was still in his pants, his watch on his wrist, even the loose change was still in a small coin purse. I don't believe that he was killed for no reason, and so I need to know whether there was anyone who would harm him." Rae deliberately kept her voice low and even. She didn't want to upset the family any more than they were already, but she needed information, information she had a feeling only they could provide her with.

ooo

Steve had called his brother-in-law back before leaving the house, and had suggested that maybe David should come to LA once he had contacted the police so that they could discuss things face to face. The suggestion had been gratefully accepted, and Steve had told Juan that they would be having guests from the following morning.

Once that was done he had driven to the hospital, stopping off at a drug store to pick up a few items that Jo had asked him to buy, and while he was in there he saw a small incredibly soft looking stuffed elephant. With a smile on his face he took it up to the counter, happily handed over his money and, as he left the store, wondered when he would be able to go and pick out the first train set.

The parking lot at the hospital was extremely busy, and as Steve drove through to the doctor's part he realised that Community General had become vitally important to a third generation of Sloans and knowing that somehow made him feel much more positive about the future.

ooo

Alex had spent the morning working, but now, at a little after twelve thirty, he was finished and heading off for what Shannon would call a little retail therapy. He was always amazed at how much his girlfriend seemed to enjoy going from store to store, looking through rack after rack of clothes or shoes, and then going back to the first place they tried to get something that hadn't been quite right, about four hours earlier.

He, on the other hand, had three stores where he would go to buy clothes; he did it in bulk about once every six to nine months, and found no pleasure in it at all. This however, was different, he wouldn't be buying another one of these in six months time, at least he hoped he wouldn't. This was a once only deal and, with his heart beating loudly in his chest, Alex made his way from the doctors' locker room and down the hallway, through the ER, towards the elevator and his car.

Shannon watched Alex walk past the trauma suite she was working in and smiled. She wondered whether she would ever lose the little thrill she got when she saw him around the hospital. They worked together now and then, but since she had transferred full time to Obstetrics their time together had been short. She was only in the ER because a very young baby had been brought in with breathing problems and the doctor on duty had called up for a nurse to come and wait with the parents.

The little girl had been born prematurely and only released from the hospital the week before. Shannon couldn't help but compare her to Jayden Sloan, and wonder how he was doing. The NICU had a full compliment of nurses at the moment, but Shannon would get a turn to work there in the near future. At the moment she was glad that it hadn't been necessary to ask to be moved while Jo and Steve were visiting parents, but she knew that she would have been unable to keep her personal involvement with the family out of her professional life, and so a move would have been the only option.

Shannon still well remembered the first time she had met all of Alex's friends at, as she had been then, Jo Walters's house. To say it had been daunting would be an understatement, but since that night, they had all become friends and she and Alex enjoyed the company of all of them socially on a regular basis.

The doctor working on the baby straightened his back and she heard him tell the worried parents that he would admit their child. She put all her thoughts to the back of her mind and moved across so that she would be able to comfort them and help them deal with a situation which to them would be one that nightmares were made of.

As Shannon began to do her best to comfort the parents Alex had drawn up in a very expensive looking area of town not far from the hospital and was about to go and do his shopping. For a moment though he sat in the car, he knew that what he was about to do was right, but he also knew that after this there were only three other things left to do before he would be well and truly grown up and responsible for not only his own destiny but for that of other people too. He had always taken his responsibilities seriously, his dad had taught him that, and so now, thinking about the man he missed far more than he would have ever thought when he had been alive, he got out of his car, slammed the door and took the first steps towards a future which filled him with excitement and apprehension, hoping that his dad was smiling down on him as he did so.


	14. Chapter 14

**14 A Mother's Love **

By the time Rae got back to her desk she was disheartened and discouraged. The Hardy family had seemed so close, so in tune with each other, that she had been sure something would come from meeting with them. In the end though all she was left with was an uncomfortable realisation that, in her opinion, no matter how quickly she solved the case, she would never be able to do enough to get rid of the feeling that someone who had suffered, as Albert had, in his early days, ultimately had been let down by his, and her, adopted country and definitely deserved more than to find freedom only to die in a parking lot. Rae also felt though that these sentiments had their origins in her upbringing, she wasn't sure that her colleagues would feel the same way.

The squad room was humming as she made herself a coffee and then began to go through her messages, again there were newspaper journalists wanting interviews, magazines as well now, including one which wanted to do a double page spread on how she spent her leisure time to get away from the case. Rae piled them all up together, wrote a very large 'NO' on a post it note for the top and put them into an envelope for public relations to deal with.

Once the external messages were out of the way her desk looked something like she was used to and she saw a piece of paper, with her partner's name on it, written in Cheryl's handwriting, talking about a letter in one of the daily papers.

The newspaper that he mentioned was one of a small, but ever-growing, pile underneath her desk. Rae had decided to keep them there so that she wouldn't get totally overloaded. Now though she flattened out the edition in question and began looking through for the editorial page. The actual letter was easy to find and Rae read it through a couple of times before picking up the phone and putting a call through to the editor of the newspaper requesting an appointment with him.

The autopsy report from Amanda on Albert Hardy was also on her desk, but she was so disgusted with the case that she flicked through it quickly before putting it in her filing tray, not taking a great deal of notice of what her friend had to say. Looking at her watch Rae saw that it was coming up to half past one in the afternoon and, realising that she was extremely hungry, she got up and left the squad room, hoping to cheer herself up before returning.

ooo

"Ok, what I thought we would do today is try some kangaroo care." Belinda smiled at the two nervous parents before her and saw their expressions change to one of excitement and one of confusion.

"So, Mommy knows what I'm talking about, but Daddy doesn't have a clue. Someone hasn't been doing their research." She wagged a finger and then felt a little guilty as Steve blushed and looked away. "Don't worry, Mr. Sloan, it really is painless."

Steve and Jo had been in the NICU for a little over an hour. Jayden had been fast asleep when they arrived and so they'd sat, Steve's hand resting over that of his wife, and watched their son's chest rise and fall underneath his swaddling, heartened by the fact that he seemed so peaceful. Steve had listened intently as Jo told him how, finally, she had been able to hold her baby, had looked at him, seen into his eyes and felt a connection, not just one of a mother's love for her child, but her, Jo, and him, Jayden, and Steve had loved her all the more because of it.

He had decided that he would return to work the following morning, and although it hadn't been an easy decision to make Steve knew that he would be needed far more when Jayden came home, and he planned to take leave, paid or unpaid, when that time came.

"Let Steve have the first go, I can take my turn tomorrow, or even a little later today, but he is going back to work in the mornin'." Jo smiled, first at her husband and then at Belinda, and there was, Steve was sure, a conspiratorial link between them.

"Ok, Steve, what I need is for you to unfasten your shirt." Belinda knew that she was being cruel, but the look on both parents' faces were just pictures, and she was so pleased to see Jo stifle a laugh, and Steve look like he was going to pass out at her feet, that it was worth it. "You don't need to pull it out of your jeans, but undo all the buttons."

"What! … I'm sorry, what did you say?" Steve's voice, initially loud dropped as he saw his son jump, heard an alarm scream and felt his own anxiety levels rise as Belinda looked with concern at the monitors.

Jo watched as their nurse checked her son. The sound of Steve's voice, although not loud in a normal environment, had startled their child, and the guilt on her husband's face almost broke her heart. She knew that Belinda would monitor Jayden and so with a deep breath she tried to tune out what was happening, turned and smiled at Steve and began talking about the kangaroo care instead. "Honey, we are bein' so mean to you, an' I am real sorry, but your face was just wonderful, an' when you are over the shock you are gonna enjoy this so much."

Steve nodded his head, he wasn't sure he would enjoy anything ever again if slightly raising his voice had this effect on his son. He hadn't shouted, he knew that, but not only had the monitors beeped, but other parents had glared at him, just as he knew he would have done had the positions been reversed.

For over thirty minutes Steve and Jo sat in silence, keeping their eyes on the monitors as the figures Jayden was recording were noted, watched and analysed, but finally with a smile Belinda told them that everything was back to normal, and they could continue with the plan for kangaroo care. As she moved away for a moment to speak quietly with another nurse, who neither Steve nor Jo had seen before, Jo began talking again hoping to put Steve's mind at rest.

"Steve, kangaroo care is when the baby is laid on your chest an' you can just relax an' hold them there. Some of the studies that have been done in Bogotá, Columbia showed a decrease in the mortality rate from seventy percent to thirty." Jo had taken her husband's hand into her own, and now she was looking deep into his eyes.

"I want you to be the first one of us to do this, I was gonna suggest it myself this mornin' especially after Tabitha was so pleased with him last night. What do you say?" She searched his face, trying to see what he was thinking, how he was feeling, but she could see so many mixed emotions there that Jo had no idea whether Steve would even be able to try to hold his son.

Steve didn't know how to respond, his heart was suddenly thumping and his mouth was dry. He would be able to hold his son again, and he had wanted nothing more than to do that since he'd put him back in the incubator two days before. But now, now that the opportunity was being presented to him again, he was scared, his throat was constricted with unshed tears and he was unable to speak.

"Steve?" Jo's voice startled him and he just nodded his head.

"Well, I guess that's a yes then. Ok, you really do need to unbutton your shirt, and then we'll take over." Belinda, who had enlisted the help of another nurse for the procedure, watched as carefully Jo undid the hospital gown her husband was wearing and turned it round before doing it back up under his throat. Then, with shaking fingers, Steve began to undo the fastenings on his denim shirt, carefully pulling it apart so that his chest was exposed.

It took a little under ten minutes before Jayden, who, Steve had noticed from the chart, was now weighing in at 2lbs exactly, which was 4oz less than when he had been born, was ready for his trip into the outside world. Carefully his diaper had been changed, the old one being put to one side to be weighed. The information it contained being vital to his continuing care. With a new, dry one and his egg cosy hat on Jayden was placed onto his daddy's chest and then covered with a blanket.

Not daring to move Steve watched as the lines to the monitors and the ventilator were carefully stuck to the hospital gown and he was thankful for the mask he wore, which covered his trembling lips. Slowly, as Belinda indicated she was done and stepped away, he did move, but only his arm so that gently he could place his hand over Jayden's back, and as he did so all his anxiety fell away and he began to just enjoy the moment.

Looking up, with tears in his eyes Steve smiled first at his wife and then at Belinda. "Thank you … I … thank you."

ooo

The grandfather clock that Jesse had bought off _e.bay_ was chiming eight as Rae came in through the main door to her home. She glared at it as she moved past. It was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but in the three days since it had arrived she had woken up every hour on the hour throughout the night, and she was getting very fed up with it. Jesse assured her that she would get used to it, and she knew he was right. At one time in her youth she had rented a flat in a street underneath Waterloo Station. The railway line had gone over the road on a bridge, and the little house her two rooms were in was almost directly underneath it. After a fortnight she no longer noticed the noise of the trains, so she was sure she could cope with a clock, not that she had any intention of telling her husband that.

"Mommy, I'm going to bed now, I wuf yew." Eliana came skipping out into the hallway, her face flushed and shining from a recent bath and her hair fastened back in two braids which Rae knew had been done by Miss Vicki.

The little girl hugged Rae around her legs, and then smiled as Rae crouched down in front of her. Eliana spoke well now, her words and vocabulary were very good for her age, but Rae missed the baby talk, and so when she said 'I wuf yew' it made her insides melt.

"Ok, Sweetie, how was Sally today?" Pre-school was out for the summer and Eliana was spending three days a week with Vicki and the other two with her original carer who she loved dearly.

"She was fine, fank yew, and I helped her look after a new baby she has." Eliana wriggled a little in her mother's grasp and Rae released her. Sally had mentioned to Rae that she was now caring for a boy of six months, and both of them had wondered how Eliana would cope with the change. Anneya only went to Sally in an emergency, staying with Vicki so that she could learn sign language and attend a reasonably local nursery school three mornings a week, where there were both Deaf and hearing children.

"Would you like me to read to you before you go to bed?" Rae suddenly hoped against hope that her daughter would say yes, she wanted nothing more right now than to cuddle up on the sofa with her little girl and work her way through a _Doctor Seuss _story.

Nodding her head Eliana waited for Rae to stand up and then the two of them made their way into the breakfast room, where Vicki was tidying up some of the toys that had been played with during the evening. As Rae entered though she carefully put a handful of building blocks into a box and then spoke.

"Hi, Mrs Travis, Anneya is fast asleep and there are some phone messages for you. Doctor Travis has been delayed at the hospital and Mrs Sloan called to say that if you had time tomorrow would you like to go and see her baby."

"Really? Oh wonderful, whether I have time or not, I'm going." Rae was delighted with the news, Texas had been such a support to her when Eliana had been born early and the family only rule applied to Jayden had meant that so far she had been unable to reciprocate.

Vicki didn't usually work on Mondays, but had asked if she could and take the Friday instead so that she had a long weekend to go to the mountains with her boyfriend. They had only been together a short while and wanted to get to know each other a little better. Rae was rota'd off on the Friday herself and so had readily agreed. It had been worth Vicki working today for Texas's message alone and Rae tried to push the visions of tiny babies and her friend's face away so that she could concentrate on her own child instead. She picked up the book she wanted from a pile on the shelf by the door and watched as Vicki kissed Eliana on the cheek before leaving the room. Once they were alone together Rae made herself comfortable on the sofa and enjoyed the feeling of her eldest daughter snuggling up against her and again relished the second family she had been given the chance to experience.

ooo

Even though it was only eight thirty at night Jo lay in bed ready for sleep but thinking hard. She had been chatting with a mother whose baby was almost ready to leave the hospital and go home. The woman, whose name was Kathy, had come over and spoken with Jo when she had been sitting in the quiet area of the NICU as Jayden had his diaper changed and his vital signs monitored, she had been holding him and he had begun to get sleepy.

"Hi, you're Jo Sloan aren't you?" The young woman suddenly in front of her looked far too glamorous to be the mother of a child in special care. Her hair was beautifully styled, she wore clean, crumple-free clothes, and her nails were done. Jo realised that, until a week ago, she would have looked that way too, now it didn't seem to matter that much.

_"Yeah, that's me, is there somethin' I can do for you?" She ran her hand through her own hair, dragging the strands back from her face as she tried to smile and look interested._

_"I understand that you're going home tomorrow."_

_"Yes, that's right, how did you know? Jo was startled, that type of information was, she was sure, confidential and she had only found out herself two hours earlier when she had her check up with Tabitha._

_"I usually have a little chat with moms before they go; it's kind of my unofficial job, so I get told who is leaving. Scarlet, that's my baby, she's our third child who has come through the NICU at Community General, so I sort of know what I'm talking about."_

_"Oh." Jo had no idea what else to say, she didn't really know what it was that this woman wanted to say to her, or what she needed to say herself in reply._

_"I won't take up your time now, because I think your little angel is ready for his momma to visit with him again, but tomorrow, please look for me, I will have a parting gift for you, and a pamphlet which I hope will help you." Kathy had risen to her feet then and smiled before heading back towards the door to the NICU where she began talking with one of the nurses._

Jo wondered, not for the first time, what the gift was going to be, and also what the pamphlet would say. She had to admit she was terrified of leaving the safe confines of the hospital, and the thought of being separated from her baby by miles instead of just a few feet of hallway filled her eyes with tears each time it crossed her mind.

At least Rae would be able to come and see Jayden with her before she left for home. She had missed her friend so much, and envied her husband the contact he had with her at work, or would have from the following morning. It had taken her over half an hour on the phone to persuade Steve that with David arriving from Texas by lunchtime tomorrow she would be fine at home while he worked as planned. She still felt as if a truck had hit her so she had no intention of doing anything more than resting on the sofa in the morning room and reading through the letters from her ancestors once again.

Steve had told her that the designer had called about the nursery, so she would get in contact with him too, show him the pictures of the furniture she had bought and then the pleasant task of choosing wall coverings, drapes, and carpets could be undertaken. In her mind Jo saw pastel blues and yellows, with a trompe l'oeil painting on one wall and on a piece of furniture. She had found details on the Internet of an artist who did wild west scenes and Jo could see a street, boardwalks either side and the dust and dirt in the middle on one wall of the nursery, and then, on one of the wardrobes she had bought, a picture of what might be inside, so it looked as if you could see in through a glass front when, in fact, it was solid wood.

Gradually her eyes began to close, and Jo snuggled down in the bed, trying to ignore the pain that simple movement caused. She wanted her son with her every minute of every day, but right now that wasn't possible, so she would go and get the house ready for him, so that when he did come home, everything would be perfect.

ooo

Dominic-Matthew had been out for a drive around, he had visited the vacant lot where he'd gone with Jenna, the grassy park where Sam had fallen to his hand and finally, once he'd filled up on gas, the golf course at Toluca Lake where he had sat happily in the grass reliving Nadine's last moments. On the way back he stopped off at the bus station on the next block to his apartment and put his suitcase of treasures in a locker. At first he had felt reassured when it was by the door, knowing that if he needed to flee he would be able to just pick it up and take it with him, but lately it had worried him. What if someone came in? They might take it thinking it was full of valuables, or worse that it was full of rubbish. In the end he had become so concerned about losing it that he had decided to leave it in a place where he could easily get it on his way out of town, whether to work or when he moved on. The decision had put his mind at rest and now he was sitting in the front room of his apartment looking at photos, reliving his evening's journey and feeling at peace with himself once more.

ooo

Mark had a late shift, Alex had known that, and speaking to him over the weekend had received his permission to use the deck to entertain that night.

He wasn't the greatest cook in the world, but he worked in a barbeque restaurant, and had lived by himself since he'd entered medical school. He could make pasta dishes, roasts and if he concentrated he could rustle up a better than average curry too. Tonight though he had decided to make an Italian meal. The seafood salad that he had as antipasti was calamari, shrimp, scallops, muscles and black olives in a lemon dressing. You could eat it warm straight from a barbeque or leave it to marinade overnight. Alex had worried himself silly about making a fool of himself cooking in front of Shannon and so they were having it cold served on a bed of lettuce and he had made a little menu with the first item 'Antipasti di Mare' written on it with a small description underneath.

That had been the easy part, after than he had struggled for hours to choose the right main course. Finally he had found a recipe for individual asparagus lasagne realising that he could make the two dishes the day before, just as he could the starter, and serve them in separate dishes with breadsticks and a panzella salad which had ingredients in that he recognized as salad, as well as bread and olives. Alex thought that if the lasagne was a disaster they could fill up on that instead.

Now though, as the sun made its way towards the horizon, there was very little food left on the table, and it was clear that all his efforts had been appreciated.

"Honey, that was just wonderful, thank you so much." Shannon looked beautiful, her jet-black hair falling in curls over her shoulders, the pearl clips glinting from the candles he had placed on the table and there was something on her dress that caught the light and sparkled every time she moved.

"I am glad you enjoyed it. It was kinda fun to make, work it all out first of all and then see it actually turn out like it was supposed to."

"You made it? All of it?" Shannon had to admit she was amazed. "I thought Mark must have had a hand in it."

"No, I wanted it to be something that I did for you by myself, something special for a special night." He blushed as he spoke, and then, before his courage failed him, he got to his feet and moved around the table.

"Well, you succeeded, it was definitely special, and absolutely delicious too … Alex?" Shannon watched as her boyfriend came closer to her, and suddenly she knew why she was there, why the meal, the candles, the time by themselves, had all been arranged and, as she watched, her heart beating loudly in her chest, Alex got down on one knee.

"Shannon, I love you with all my heart, I don't want to be without you, not ever. Please, will you accept this ring and agree to marry me?" Carefully he opened the black velvet case and Shannon gasped.

"Oh, Alex, that's beautiful." The ring, in white gold had a large square cut diamond in the centre and then, running halfway around the band, there were five smaller diamonds either side of the main stone. The candles now caught the different surfaces, and the ring looked as it if was burning its way into her heart. Carefully, almost not daring to breathe, Alex looked up.

"Will you marry me?"

"Oh yes, yes I will, I love you so much too … thank you for asking me." She giggled, not really knowing what to say, but the laughter was lost in a moment as slowly, gently, Alex placed the ring on her finger and then stood up, pulling her into his arms as he did so and, as the sun finally disappeared over the horizon, they kissed passionately, before drinking a toast to all the new tomorrows they would share, together.

ooo

"Oh, Texas, he is just perfect, so beautiful." Rae sat down in the chair next to Jayden's isolette and tried to blink back the tears that filled her eyes. For a moment she had moved back in time five years to when Eliana was in this very room, tiny, but already a fighter, and then a picture of her that morning, dressed in blue jeans and a t-shirt which said '_I may be cute, but don't push me'_ on it, with her little bag of treasures to take to Sally's with her.

"Thank you." The voice of her friend, now a proud, but worried, mom reached her ears and Rae came back to the present. She reached out and took her friend's hand into her own.

"So, how's he doing?"

"He's doin' ok. At least that's what they keep tellin' us. He's set his alarms off at least once every day so far, which worries me an' Steve far more than it seems to worry Belinda, who is his nurse. But we've done kangaroo care, an' yesterday, yesterday he … he looked at me, when I had him in my arms, I smiled at him, an' he seemed to relax against me," Jo realised she couldn't really adequately describe how she had felt at that moment, "it was wonderful."

"I remember it well, and it was wonderful, but its more than that, it's the fact that finally you are doing what mums do, you are holding your baby, you are changing its nappy, and even if you have to give him, or her, back at the end of your session, you were still the one doing the caring." Rae's face lit up as she spoke, remembering the feelings she had shared with her own daughter and the pleasure she had gained from her ever since.

Jo's eyes were bright as she realised that her best friend understood how she was feeling, better than Steve, or Belinda, or anyone else she was close to, because she had been there, and the bond between them tightened.

An hour later Rae was making her way to the parking lot a set of four pictures in her wallet of Jayden with his mum, with her and with the two of them together as well as one picture of him alone. She was going into the station so that Steve could leave and take his wife home. Newman had been in a foul mood the previous evening when she had left and so she and her partner had decided that they would be very careful what they did, and how much time they spent away from the precinct, planning it so that at least one of them was there at all times during their shifts unless they were on official business.

The funeral of Albert Hardy was taking place that afternoon, and Rae planned to attend. The family had found it difficult to come to terms with the fact that not only had their father been murdered, but also his burial rights had not been carried out according to their faith. The body had been released by the coroner's office though, and now, finally, the funeral could be conducted and then the close relatives would sit Shivah and continue with their customs as if everything had taken place within the usual timeframe. As Albert had requested that he be buried next to his wife the Shivah would be held in his apartment before his children returned to San Diego a week later.

Before that though Rae was going to meet with the newspaper editor to see if he could provide some more information on the author of the letter complaining about the way the LAPD was handling the Red Rose Killer case. If she was honest Rae didn't think she would find out anything useful but with the lack of any new information lately, any lead was better than none.

ooo

Jo had packed a small suitcase with her belongings once breakfast was out of the way. By the time Rae had arrived she was ready to go home, at least as far as the materialistic side of her stay was concerned. The visit of her friend had lightened her morning, and the time had passed almost too quickly. Once Rae had left to go to work Jo had sat, watching as her son slept, comparing the photos she had just taken with those from the previous four days of his life. His weight wasn't back to what it had been when he was born, but he hadn't lost any more and so Jo was trying to see that in a positive light. Belinda wasn't on duty and so, for the first time, she had to deal with a nurse who didn't, as of yet, know her son.

After she had been sitting quietly for just over an hour the woman who had spoken to her the previous day and whose name Jo remembered in time was Kathy came and sat next to her.

"Hi." The word was whispered and Jayden slept on as Jo turned her head and smiled. "Shall we move away just for a moment?"

Jo nodded her head; she still wasn't sure what to say to this lady and so instead she stood up and followed her back to the quiet corner they had chatted in the day before.

"Here is my book, my e-mail and phone number is inside, please, if you want to talk to someone, meet up, ask a question, anything, contact me. There are some very active preemie groups in LA, I'm sure there will be one near you, where do you live?"

Kathy was animated and chatty, but her voice never rose above a whisper.

"Beverly Hills."

"Oh." Kathy said just the one word, realising that to live there you had to be reasonably well off to say the least. "I guess they have one near there."

"Well I shall definitely be lookin' out for it. Thank you, Kathy; I will read this once I am home an' able to relax a little bit. I … I just wish I was taking Jayden with me."

"That reminds me, this is for you. Keep it until you get back to your room to pick up your belongings and then open it. It is just for you, it may seem a strange gift, but it sure helped me and I hope it does the same for you."

A parcel about fifteen inches long and squidgy was handed to her and then Kathy stood up. As she did so Jo could see Steve washing and gowning up at the front of the NICU and she rose to her feet also.

"Jo, you just have to keep the faith, and then your baby will come home to you. Take care." Kathy hugged Jo lightly and then moved back over to her own baby lying in one of the isolettes nearest the wall.

They stayed as long as they could in the NICU but it became apparent after an hour that Jayden was fast asleep and had no intention of waking up any time soon. Steve had told Jo that David was already in Beverly Hills and so with a heavy heart and tears in her eyes Jo bade goodbye to her little boy and made her way back to her room.

Once she was there she pushed the door too and sobbed on Steve's shoulder until she didn't have the strength to continue any longer and then she felt her husband carefully direct her to the bed and sit her on the side of it.

"Honey, we have to go, but you can come back every day, you know that. Juan will drive you, or David, and I don't work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, even if it feels like I do. We will be coming back in together, probably Friday as I am off then.

She just nodded her head, words were beyond her, and Steve kissed her gently on the cheek. "Open your present from that lady, then I'll take you home."

Carefully, in case the squishy present was fragile Jo removed the paper to reveal a very soft light blue teddy bear. There was a small bib around its neck which said '_for mom_' on it and with a strangled sob Jo held it to her and began again to get herself under control.

"There's a little note, look." Steve picked up a small card, which had a picture of a teddy on it and began to read.

_Dear mommy and daddy,_

_This teddy is from a family who know what you are going through. You can't cuddle me at home right now, but you can hug this bear instead. The bib says 'for mom' on one side, and 'for dad' on the other, when you need to hold me, pick him up instead and enjoy his softness. _

_Our time will come, and we will have a lifetime of hugs to share._

_Love from your baby boy._

By the time he had finished reading Steve's voice was breaking and he sat down next to his wife and they held onto each other tightly for a long time before finally collecting up the bags and the bear and beginning one of the hardest journeys of their lives.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 Slipping Through your Fingers **

Rae had sat quietly out of the way at the funeral of Albert Hardy. She had arrived in time not to be late, and had slipped in unnoticed, which suited her just fine.

Having never been to any kind of Jewish service before Rae had no idea what was going on, or when the ceremony was coming to an end. At last though everyone stood up and began to talk quietly together so she thought that it was probably safe to say that things were, here at least, almost over.

Having done a little research Rae knew that the family would be pretty much uncontactable for the next week and so she was hoping to at least speak to them before she left. It was Aaron who spotted her first and, with a sad but welcoming smile on his face, made his way towards her.

"Detective Yeager, thank you for coming. We weren't sure whether your duties would allow you the time to be present."

Rae always tried to attend the funeral services of any murder victims she was investigating. It wasn't always possible, but not only did it keep the contact with the remaining family on a respectful level, it also gave her a chance to look round at the mourners and find out if there was anyone present who wasn't recognized by the family of the deceased. With the Red Rose Killer she had been spending far too much time in churches and graveyards, and she wanted it to stop.

"I'm glad that I could make it. Mr. Hardy, I need to ask you whether there is anyone here that you or your brother and sister don't know. Or, by the same token, anybody that you think your father wasn't acquainted with."

"Why would someone who didn't know him come to his funeral?" Aaron asked the question, but Rae was saved from answering as realization crossed his features. "Ohhh, I … I never would have thought of that. No, no, I don't think so. Let me go check."

For five minutes Rae stood looking around as she waited. Finally Aaron, Ben and Havi came back together.

"No, Detective, there isn't anyone here that we weren't expecting. In fact, the only person whose presence was in doubt is yourself."

"Ok." Rae smiled, she was the only person in the place who she knew hadn't killed Albert. "I'm sorry, but I had to ask. If I need any further information or if I have anything to tell you, can I contact you over the next week?"

The two men nodded their heads but the woman began to speak. "Yes, you know that we'll be at Dad's apartment. You have the number?" Havi saw Rae confirm that she had and continued speaking. "We'll call you too, before we leave."

Rae shook hands with the family members' and made her way back out into the sunshine, glad that she had attended but wishing that she hadn't had to.

ooo

Wayne had watched, waited and watched, knowing that they would be home by lunchtime. The brother was there too, which was an interesting state of affairs. He was just beginning to think he'd missed them when, finally, the car of the cop drew into the driveway and he watched again, this time through binoculars as it drew up in front of the house.

The door was opened by the man he knew was called Juan, the English butler had disappeared, the revelation that he himself was a Walters had shocked everyone, but none more so than his partner in crime who had been furious. Impatiently he had sat for over an hour and a half, but he wanted to make sure that she was home before he carried on with his plans. Wayne would have preferred if Jo was alone, but the brother wasn't the same as a cop who would be off to work soon he was certain, and he wasn't sure she told David everything anyway.

After a very slow and painful looking walk to the house his quarry disappeared inside and the door closed. Wayne sat for a few more minutes before seeing a delivery van draw up and then slowly drove away down the road, a satisfied smile on his face.

ooo

Even though David and Juan were both in the hallway when Jo and Steve arrived home the house had never seemed so empty to either of them. Daniel was still at school, not knowing that his mom was being discharged from the hospital just in case the plan had to be changed. He had stayed at his Grandpa's house ever since Jo had been admitted, but a message had been left at the school asking him to make his way back to his own home at the end of the day.

Jo stood and looked around her, the home that she had always loved was the last place she wanted to be, in fact everywhere except the NICU was the last place she wanted to be, but trying very hard to put a brave face on it she smiled at her brother and then carefully made her way into the morning room.

"Can I get you a drink of tea or coffee, Madam?" Juan came into the room once he had taken the bags up to the east wing and spoke softly.

Jo nodded her head. "That would be lovely, a chamomile an' lime tea please." Just as she was about to lower herself into a chair the sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted her progress and, in case it was for her, Jo remained standing.

Two minutes later Juan returned, handing a bouquet of flowers to his employer before moving off to the kitchen.

Jo smiled as she fished inside the envelope for the gift card, but as she read it the colour drained from her face, and the beautiful blooms fell to the floor.

"Jo, Honey, what is it?" Steve was instantly at her side, his face etched with worry and concern as he tried to direct her to the sofa and then dismay as she moved away from him.

"I … I need to go lie down, an' … an' I need you to deal with it." The card fluttered through the air as she dropped it onto the breakfast table, and then slowly, ignoring both her husband and her brother's pleas, she walked out of the room leaving the two men to stare after her.

For a few seconds the room was totally silent, but then, looking at David, Steve spoke quietly. "Don't follow her, but could you just make sure she's alright on the stairs? I need to read this then I'll go to her." Not waiting for a reply Steve picked up the card by the corners, knowing the florist would have written it, but still being careful.

_Jo,_

_So glad you are coming home today, we will be running into each other again soon I'm sure._

_Love,_

_Wayne_

_xxx_

ooo

The dress hanging in the window of the department store had called to Susan the moment she saw it. It was very plain, almost classic and she knew that it would look great on her. The price tag said that it was $119, which was quite a lot to pay, but she was turning over a new leaf, living life for herself now, not anyone else, and if she liked the dress then she was definitely going to have it.

Dominic-Matthew had been wandering around the stores for just over an hour. Today was the funeral of the caretaker, and he didn't want to be in the building when they all came back, as apparently they were to sit Shivah in Albert's apartment.

At first he hadn't known where to go, and had moped around his local neighbourhood, but gradually, travelling a little further afield, had hopped onto a bus that appeared just as he was passing a stop and getting off in Santa Monica. As he alighted he had spotted her right away.

He had been walking roughly two people behind her for it seemed like ages, but now he followed her into the store, still not getting too close, and felt his heart beat faster as he looked at her. She was beautiful, and he knew that somewhere he had seen her before. Her hair was glorious, hanging down her back in a golden curtain that he was just desperate to run his hands through, but for now he had to content himself with staying back and watching, he would have his time with her, of that he had no doubt.

ooo

Jo heard someone follow her out of the room and, not being able to move very quickly, she turned wanting them to go and leave her alone. She saw her brother standing there, uncertain what to do or say and, unable to speak to him, she mumbled a short apology before beginning to make her way, very slowly and tentatively, towards the stairs.

The card screamed at him, and Steve knew that he needed to get on to the florist, needed to get an officer in there to help identify the man who sent the flowers, needed to get this guy off their backs, but all that had to wait, first of all he had to be with Jo. As he opened the door to the hallway he saw her put a foot on the first stair and was, almost immediately, placing his arm around her and supporting her as she took one step at a time. He had looked over to David as he moved, and seen his brother-in-law looking concerned but relieved, understanding that Steve would deal with the problem.

As soon as they were on the second floor landing Jo shrugged herself out of her husband's grip again and began walking towards the east wing. She pushed open one of the big double mahogany doors and then went down the carpeted hallway and into the main bedroom that made up a large part of the building.

Steve had hung back, knowing that she needed a few seconds to control herself, but he went straight to her as she sat heavily in one of the gold brocade covered chairs and gripped the arms tightly.

He didn't know what to say, feeling totally empty, wanting and needing his son to be home with them, so he knew that for Jo it would be a hundred times worse. That alone was hard enough to deal with, but now the flowers had compounded everything and having no idea how to comfort her, or what words to say to try and make out everything was fine, because they both knew that wasn't true, he still needed to speak. "Honey, I am so sorry."

"I know you are, but somehow, right now it doesn't help. That man, how did he know I was comin' home today? Who told him I was leavin' Community General? An' Jayden, I just want to be with him, Steve. Not here, for the first time in my life I don't want to be here, I want to be able to stay with him in the hospital an' … an' I can't. An' I guess … I guess I'm not used to havin' to do things I don't want to or bein' scared in my own home ... what do I do about … I have no idea what to do."

Again Steve didn't know what to say. The emotion he heard in his wife's voice tore through his heart. He knew what she was saying was correct, she wasn't used to not getting her own way and her house had always been her castle, the place where, whatever the world might throw at her, she was safe, and Wayne had defiled that twice, and he, her husband, hadn't been able to do anything to stop it either time. His anger flared but he pushed it away. Now wasn't the time to lose control. Her money always bought her what she wanted, whether that was goods, services, envy, deference or admiration. But this time, when the life of her child was at stake, she had to leave things to the medical professionals, their child himself, and to God. And she also had to deal with this new problem, the invasion of her privacy, he was a very private person himself, and felt the intrusion and the danger it produced almost as keenly as his wife. Individually each problem was scary and seemingly insurmountable, but together they presented a situation that he was sure was going to cause more emotional turmoil than he wanted either of them to face.

"You need to be gettin' back to the station, Rae will be wonderin' where you have got to. I have David, I'll be ok." Jo tried a small smile, but as she did so a sound shattered the air and she froze.

The noise was that of a baby crying, and Steve realised instantly that David had brought his daughter with him and she must just be waking up from a nap. For Jo though it was one thing too many on a day where she had battled so constantly with her emotions that she was only barely holding herself together. Before Steve's eyes she began to retreat, seeming to shrink away from him and calling her name urgently he took his cell phone out of his pocket and speed dialled his dad at the same time.

ooo

The department store was quite crowded and Susan looked around for the directory to show her where ladies wear was. She noticed that shoes and cosmetics were on the same floor and, smiling to herself, decided that she could probably go the whole hog and treat herself to a complete new look.

The unplanned visit to the police station, along with the revelations from the counsellor she was seeing, had given Susan a lot to think about. She had spent the time since then re-evaluating her life and deciding that it was up to her to get it sorted out just as she wanted it to be.

The first thing Susan had done was give up her pokey apartment and she had moved into the building next to the hospital where a lot of the nurses lived. She knew that some of the girls who lived there thought she was stuck up and stuffy, but she needed to make friends, and living alongside other nurses seemed like a good way to start the process.

She had written a letter apologising to Jesse and his wife for what she had done, but at the moment it was still in the bottom of her purse, because she knew when she mailed it, then it truly was over between them, and that was a final step she wasn't quite ready to take yet.

The dress was just as glorious up close as it had looked in the window, and Susan took one off the rack, held it against her and stood in front of a full-length mirror to see the effect. As she did so she saw a young man behind her, dark hair, goatee beard and glasses, and smiled.

"This is just beautiful but do you know if you have it in an eight?" She turned round as she spoke holding out the hanger in front of her.

"Well, you know I think it's beautiful too, but I don't actually work here."

"Oh." Susan blushed, and was about to speak again when the young man beat her too it.

"But, here, on the rail, this is an eight." Dominic-Matthew held out the creation in the correct size and Susan took it from him.

"Thank you."

"I know this seems a little forward, but I would happily give you an unbiased opinion of how it looks on you, unless you have a friend rummaging around through the other racks that I don't see." Dominic-Matthew mentally crossed his fingers, he didn't want to push too hard, but he did want to get to know her better.

Susan looked at the man in front of her. She wasn't a fool, Los Angeles was a dangerous place, especially with that guy roaming around, and she _was_ blonde. But he wasn't, he had dark brown, almost black hair, and his eyebrows were the same colour. The little beard was neat and trim, and a similar shade as his hair. Knowing that she ought to say something Susan shook her head. "I don't even know you, why would you want to see me in this dress?"

"What can I tell you? I think it will look great; I want to see if I'm right. My name is Nika by the way."

"Nika, that's unusual."

"Yeah, it's Greek, but I like it, my dad was Greek." He wasn't, Dominic had no idea who his father was, let alone what nationality he had been, but it was as close as he could get without using either Dominic or Nicholas.

"Well, Nika, my name is Susan, and I'm pleased to meet you."

Dominic-Matthew nodded slightly, and then smiled. "Likewise, now do I get to see you in that dress?"

Susan considered again, he was charming; this was the start of her new life, and however confident she was trying to be it would be nice to have someone see if she was setting off on the right foot.

"Ok, thank you." The sign for the changing rooms was at the back of the department, and the two of them made their way there quietly. Susan went in through the arched doorway as Dominic-Matthew made himself comfortable on one of the chairs set out in a line for those waiting for their companions.

He knew that he had to go slowly; he was too well known now to follow the same routine almost blindly. He wouldn't ask her out tonight, but suggest that maybe they meet in the week, just for a coffee or something. Taking it slowly would be far more profitable, that way he would get what he wanted, her body, her hair and it was such beautiful hair. Already he could imagine the feel of it between his fingers, could see it fall into a silken heap as he cut it from her head and the anticipation of that, for the time being at least, was enough and Dominic-Matthew realised he was prepared to wait for the right moment to strike.

ooo

Mark had dropped everything and rushed to Beverly Hills, concerned about his daughter-in-law even more than he had been before. As Juan let him in at the front door he saw David Walters walking up and down the morning room with a baby in his arms and wondered whether that was a part of the problem. That wasn't his main focus right now though and so he listened as Juan told him where Jo was and then took the stairs two at a time arriving at the top more quickly than usual, but also more out of breath.

"Dad!" His son's voice echoed down the hallway of the east wing and he looked up and tried a smile.

"Hi … Son." He took a breather and by the time he had arrived at the door to the bedroom he was no longer suffering and Steve didn't seem to notice that he had been.

"She … I've … she just retreated, Dad, I hate it, I feel so helpless." Steve paused for a moment and his father looked closely at him, the doctor coming to the fore. Steve did look helpless, even close to tears and Mark knew that he was, in his way, suffering almost as much as his wife. After a few seconds Steve began to speak again, the desperation now apparent in his voice. "She heard Damita and … and with everything else, Jayden, the flowers, it was too much. Dammit, I should have known, maybe I could have stopped it."

Mark had no idea what flowers Steve was talking about, but instead of asking just shook his head, "I don't think so. It's her escape mechanism; she seems to come back stronger each time it happens, at least in certain areas, we just have to keep an eye on her, make sure she eats, and be there for her when she returns and needs us the most. But I have to say," Mark lowered his voice and moved a little way back from the door, "bringing Damita here wasn't the brightest thing to do."

"I know, but I think there are a few problems that need to be sorted. David called me, it's all to do with money, but I don't know the details yet." Steve's eyes looked at the door to his bedroom and Mark, knowing that his son wouldn't want to be talking about anything else for much longer, nodded his head and made his way towards it.

Jo was still in the chair she'd sat in when she entered the bedroom but she must have moved for a moment or two because now she was sitting with her arms wrapped around the new teddy staring into space.

ooo

Rae had arrived back in the squad room just after two, to find a note informing her that Steve wouldn't be in for the rest of the day and so she sat at his desk and began to go through his messages to see if there was anything that concerned their joint cases. As the Red Rose Killer had become more and more of a threat to the city Captain Newman had begun reassigning some of their work to other detectives, not wanting to lose the killings to Homicide Special. Rae hadn't wanted it to be taken from them either and had happily passed over some of the more ordinary and mundane work hoping that she wouldn't get them back again at a later date.

The only problem with that was it left nowhere to channel her energies when Dominic was wearing her down. She had insisted on keeping Albert Hardy, but he was only making her feel guilty right now and so she sat tidying Steve's desk for him as she tried to look busy enough that no one questioned what she was doing.

Rae was a very organised person and so it didn't take her very long to get Steve's desk looking like he was very organised as well. There was nothing on the Red Rose Killings that he had that Rae didn't, and vice versa, and so, reluctantly, she made her way back to her own desk, pulled the newspapers out from the foot-well and placed them on the clear surface. As police work went it was boring, brain numbing and she disliked it intensely, but as police work went, it also had to be done, and so with a deep sigh she began to read.

ooo

Daniel had bounded into the house, knowing that if he could come home then his mom was there too. He stopped, a look of shock on his face, when he saw a stroller in the doorway to the morning room and, peeking over the handles to look at the occupant, realised that he couldn't even shout to find out what was going on, because whoever's baby was just in front of him would wake up.

To his immense relief he saw his dad coming down the stairs and he moved over to him, keeping his voice low but urgent as he spoke.

"Dad, where's Mom, and whose baby is that? It isn't Jayden, way too big for him."

"That's your cousin, Damita, Uncle David is here. Daniel, I need to talk to you, come in here for a moment." Steve knew that small talk was beyond him right now. He needed to get and impart facts and nothing else.

There was a small room just off the entranceway that had once been a very large coat cupboard. After Wayne had paid a visit however, Jo had had it converted into a place to put unwelcome or unexpected guests. Now though, as Steve and Daniel sat on the two chairs which just fitted in there, the young boy waited for his father to speak, his worry getting worse as he did so.

Carefully Steve explained to Daniel what happened to his mom when life got a little hard for her. He told him about the first time it had happened, how she had gone back to Texas, but since then had found what she needed right under this roof. Then he told Daniel about the flowers, about Damita crying, and about how hard it had been for the both of them to leave his brother in the hospital. Finally, after he was sure that his father had finished Daniel began to talk instead of listen.

"Is … will she know if I go sit with her?"

"Son, I don't know. I have to admit that once the crisis is over, or your mom feels able to deal with it again I don't tend to ask too much about what happened when she was unreachable. But if people in a coma know you've been with them, I can't see any reason why she won't know you're there."

"Can I sit with her? I have to read three chapters of my book for history; I could do that while I'm in there. I promise to be quiet."

"Grandpa is sitting with her right now, so what I would suggest is that you go knock, let the both of them know you are home from school, then do all your other homework and leave the history until last. When Grandpa and I come away you can take over, how does that sound?"

"Um, do you think I could come in just a little bit before you leave? That way I'll know what it is I have to do." Daniel wanted to be with his mom, but he wasn't sure how to handle it all, and so a quick session with his dad first would definitely help him.

"Sure, that sounds like a plan to me. Now, shoo, go say hi, I'm gonna make two cups of coffee and a sandwich for your mom, then I'll be back up, can you tell Grandpa that?"

Daniel nodded his head and left his dad alone. For a few minutes Steve remained where he was, the solitude was welcome, he felt as if he was on overload himself, and suddenly this little room was just what he needed to recharge his own batteries before returning to the east wing.

ooo

With a groan Rae put the last newspaper onto the read pile and looked at the empty space where the unread ones had been. The world had gotten dark while she had been busy, shifts had changed, and she had made almost fifteen pages of notes. The Captain had made her a coffee, which had not only shocked her, as she couldn't remember him ever doing that for anyone before, but made her realise that she must look awful for him to have even though of doing it. The only other interruptions had been when hunger had struck and she had made a quick trip to get a sandwich and a breath of fresh air, and then when public relations had called her and asked her to speak to one of the major TV stations about the case and she knew that she would hear herself on the late news that night.

Stretching up, so that her hands were clasped high above her head, Rae eased stiff muscles and thought longingly about the large circular bath in her suite at home. When she got back to Oak Place she was going to fill it to the brim with hot water, pour in some lavender bath oil and just lay back and forget about the rest of the world, for a little while at least.

Checking her watch Rae saw that it was almost eight o'clock. She had been reading writing and clipping articles for almost six hours. With a sigh that seemed to reach to her very soul Rae realised that she hadn't really gained anything except sore muscles. The situation that she, Steve, and the other officers working with them, found themselves in with Dominic was one of cat and mouse. They had gained the upper hand for a brief period when they published his picture, but Rae knew that unless he slipped up, or was maybe caught on a lesser charge, their killer was just as elusive now as he had been the first time he came to their attention.

That knowledge did nothing to improve her mood, and as Rae looked round the depressingly grey and familiar squad room she suddenly felt the need to get out into the air, even if it was dark and just a parking lot. For the first time her case closed quota wasn't that good, she hadn't solved a murder since the Masters killing, and right now she couldn't see that changing for a while.

The despondency was settling on her like soot on the roofs of an industrial town and Rae wished fervently that it was Thursday instead of Tuesday; at least that way she would have a day at home with her husband to look forward to rather than another day like the one she had just spent.

The detectives on the night shift weren't that familiar to her and so without saying any goodbyes Rae shrugged herself into her coat and made her way down the stairs, stopping only to sign herself out before leaving the building and taking deep breaths of the cool if polluted air on the way to her car.

ooo

The dress hung on a hanger on the front of her closet. Susan had known she would buy it, had known it would look good, but even she had been surprised at just how well it actually suited her. She and Nika had moved on to the shoe department where she had bought a very nice pair of strappy black sandals, high heels with suede straps and a diamante buckle on them. When she had made her way to the cosmetics counters though he had said he needed to leave, but had written down her cell phone number and they had arranged to meet on Wednesday night for pizza and a movie.

Not quite believing that she had arranged a date for herself with someone other than Jesse, Susan had mailed the letter on the way home, deciding that now was the time to cut the strings once and for all and start afresh. She didn't expect to instantly find Mr. Right, but Nika would definitely be a good start, a very good start indeed.

ooo

The three Sloans had sat with Jo for a long time. Daniel had brought his book with him but had been content to watch, anxiously, as his mother slept. Now though it was almost four hours since he had arrived home and Daniel was to be left alone with his mom while his Dad and Grandpa dealt with something else. Mark and Steve had plugged the baby alarm into the socket in the main bedroom and then, once they had tucked Jo snugly into bed and told Daniel to just call softly if he needed them, they made their way back down to the breakfast room where David was waiting.

"You were gone a mighty long time, what happened?" One or other of them had come down and spoken to Jo's brother on and off all afternoon, but only to just keep him informed about how she was. The concern on his face now made Steve and Mark forget the anger they had felt at Damita's presence in the house, although the sight of the little baby snuggled up to her father would have done that on its own.

For a moment Steve just looked on with envy, his arms felt so empty, while his heart was almost too full to bear.

"She's having trouble coping right now, but you knew that. We have left her asleep with Daniel watching over her, and I'm gonna stay tonight so that I will be with her when she wakes up in the morning. It's not surprising considering all she's had to deal with and I think she will bounce back quite quickly again. She'll want to be with Jayden I have no doubt about that. Thank you." Mark gratefully took a cup of coffee from Juan as he finished speaking.

"There is a selection of cold cuts and salad set out in the kitchen, when you are ready I will bring it in for you." Juan spoke directly to Steve who thought a moment before answering.

"Thank you, I think we'll talk for a while, and then I'll call you and we can come get it from the kitchen."

"Yes, Sir." Juan nodded his head in agreement and then, placing the other two coffees on the table, left the room.

"Steve, I'm real sorry to come an' dump more problems on your doorstep, but truth be told I had no idea who else to turn to. An' as much as I hate to admit it, I think my sister might be right about 'Miss Prissy Knickers' as I know she calls her."

As David spoke Steve noticed for the first time that his face was etched with worry and fatigue and he indicated with his hand for the younger man to sit down.

Deciding that it might be better to ignore what Jo called Debbie, Steve spoke quietly so as not to wake the sleeping child resting on David's shoulder.

"Well, start at the beginning and Dad and I'll see what we can do, that is if you don't mind Dad hearing."

"No, no I don't mind at all. I know how much Jo loves an' relies on him an' I could do with the help." Carefully David got to his feet and then laid his baby on a vacant chair, where the little girl moved slightly and then, sucking gently on her pacifier, was still.

It seemed that David needed to walk and talk at the same time and so as he began to pace the carpet he also began to speak.

"I had no idea that anythin' was amiss, we were just goin' along as usual. I guess it's because we have so much money that I don't really ever think that there will be a problem. The auditors came in, as they always do, twice a year an' after they had been there about three days they called me in, on a Saturday, needin' to talk with me 'real urgent' they said.

"Steve, have you had any problems with money here? Or Jo?"

"No, none at all as far as I'm aware." Steve drained the last of his own drink and then remembered. "Hold on, Jo said something about a credit card being issued in her name that she had nothing to do with. She asked Michael to look into that for her though, because …" He paused, suddenly feeling embarrassed and ashamed that he hadn't looked into it himself.

"She kept it to herself for a while, and … and I've been so busy." Even to his own ears it sounded lame, and he resolved to do better in future. He had taken the Captain's exams a little while ago, and the day that Jo was admitted to the hospital he'd heard that he had passed. So far only his dad and his wife knew, but maybe when he got offered a promotion he would have more time to spend on his family.

"Do you know what Michael found out?" Now, although neither man knew it, David was feeling as guilty as Steve, he hadn't thought to contact his own brother, or half-brother, about this, but he should have done.

"No, but I do know that he discussed it with Rae, I can call her," Steve looked at his watch and realised that he probably couldn't call her, "in the morning, I can call her in the morning, you carry on with what happened to you, Jo's side of things can be dealt with tomorrow."

"Ok. The auditors told me that they had found a discrepancy, an' at first I didn't even know what they meant. We had always just sailed through everythin' financial, I guess I must have appeared like a greenhorn an' not the head of a multi-million-dollar corporation, but I didn't stay green for long."

David paused, the scene in the boardroom that day had been uncomfortable and definitely something he wished he could forget.

"It seems that someone … someone has been takin' two thousand dollars every day from our expense account. It's used all the time, things are bought an' signed for without even thinkin' from there, I guess that's why it was chosen."

"How long had it been going on?" Steve had, almost unconsciously; taken the tablet of paper he always kept in his jeans out and was making quick notes.

"Since three days after the previous audit. So six months all but … well, three days. They come in regular as clockwork, it's booked for years ahead."

Steve was doing quick calculations on his pad, but as usual his dad was way ahead of him.

"So, someone has taken, embezzled, call it what you will, $260,000 from your company in the last six months."

"That's what they reckon."

"However much is in your petty cash?" Steve looked on amazed. He seemed to spend his life trying to cut down on the everyday spending at Barbeque Bob's, he couldn't imagine not missing $50 let alone over a quarter of a million.

"Steve, the general account covers everythin' that we use regularly in offices all over Texas, an' then there is another one exactly the same in California. I plan to go check that, but I have a feelin' that the same thing will be goin' on here too."

"And you think Debs did this?"

"Dad!" Steve looked scandalized, he had no idea where his father had got that idea, but then he realised what David had said at the start that his sister had been right about Debbie.

"You think your wife did this?" The years of police training had taken over now, and he no longer sounded as amazed as he felt. He was a cop doing his job, even though usually his job didn't involve this kind of money.

"Oh yeah, I'd put money on it, if she weren't happily takin' it all from me. I can't prove it, I even think I know when she did it, but again I can't prove that either. The letter approvin' the payments is signed … by me. No doubt about it, the signature isn't forged, but I never authorised anyone to type the letter."

"David, forgive me for sounding disbelieving, but although I can understand you not expecting money problems, I can't see you not reading your letters before signing them." Mark was talking earnestly now, and Steve could tell that although he felt very sorry for David his interest had been piqued, and he wanted to know everything.

"No, Sir, I don't read 'em. I have had the same secretary for so many years that I think she knows more about the business than I do. But about seven months or so ago Debs started comin' into the office about four o'clock, which is the time I sign my mail. I have one of those letter books, I don't know if you have seen 'em, but each page has a hole at the top where the address is an' another one at the bottom where you sign. I know Mary doesn't make mistakes, I never check the letters unless I have written a special one. I just sign each page an' send the book back out to her."

"I see, and what does Debs have to do with that?" This time it was Steve who was speaking. He had seen Jo out shopping taking her change and just dropping it in her purse, not counting it, or even separating out the bills from the coins. When he had asked her about it she said that she dealt with it at home. If there weren't enough cash in her hand to pay for her items she would use plastic. It hadn't worried him because he had watched her balancing her own accounts and knew that she counted every dime at that point each month. She had changed since he had first met her though, when she only spent what she earnt at Worthington Laboratories. But he guessed that having a husband and a child, two children, had made her more content, more able to spend what was hers.

"Son? Steve." Mark's voice broke into his thoughts and Steve shook them away.

"Dad, I'm sorry, I was just thinking how Jo deals with money."

"So, what you are saying, David, is that you think your wife has defrauded your company, although you haven't said how." Mark decided to carry on and let Steve gather himself, he had been under a lot of stress lately, it wasn't surprising if his concentration lapsed now and then.

"Oh yeah, an' she did it by comin' in just as the book was bein' brought to me, she would tell Mary that as she was goin' to come to me she would bring the book. It would have been easy for her to add another letter to the pile, an' then remove it before it went for posting. But that may not be all of it. The auditors have taken away piles an' piles of stuff. I don't know when we'll get them back. I authorised the removal of anythin' they needed. This has to be sorted out before the shareholders get wind of it. An' before our customers begin to wonder what we are doin' with an' for their money."

"And if you don't get it sorted out?" Steve looked over at his brother-in-law as he spoke.

"Then I'm responsible for the losses, an' you would have a felon in your family." David looked over at Steve as he spoke, but his eyes rested firmly on the badge on his belt and Steve felt a shiver run through him as another seemingly insurmountable problem reared its ugly head.


	16. Chapter 16

**16 Anticipation and Fear **

The alarm buzzed annoyingly by Steve's ear and, for a moment, caught up in a wonderful dream where he was in his back yard, two children playing happily in front of him with Jo smiling contently and holding his hand, he didn't know where he was or why he could hear the noise. Suddenly though the dream disappeared to be replaced by a reality so startlingly different that he was instantly wide awake and silencing the noise with his hand.

The night hadn't just been peaceful sleep and pleasant dreams; he had spent over an hour lying on his side watching Jo as first of all she just lay there, and then slowly disappeared into dreams herself. His mind had been so full afterwards he had even considered getting up and finding a late night movie to watch in the hopes of switching off his brain, but that would have meant leaving her, and he hadn't wanted to. Slowly Steve turned his head, knowing now he had no choice but to get up and do just that, even though he wanted desperately to stay.

"Hi." The one word, soft, almost sexy, reached his ears and he saw her, looking at him, a smile containing such sadness that again she broke his heart.

"Jo? Oh, Honey, you have no idea … are you ok … should I call Dad?" Gently she placed a finger on his lips.

"No, not yet. I'm sorry about last night, everythin' just seemed so overwhelmin' an' I … I didn't know what to do first, what to think about, an' then when I heard the baby … Why did it have to be this way, Steve, why?"

Two tears ran down her cheeks as she finished speaking and gently, very gently, Steve caught them with his finger and wiped them away and then, for a moment, he paused before looking into her eyes and, as he did so, he spoke to her from his heart. "I don't know, I wish I did, but I do know this, I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone, and together, you and I, we **will** get through this. Jayden **will** come home to a happy, loving family, and it **will** be wonderful, ok?"

Jo nodded her head and then moved closer to him, wanting to feel his skin against her own, needing the physical contact that had been denied her while she was in the hospital. The movements caused her wound to pull and the pain was evident on her face, but she persevered until his strong arms were around her, his heart beating reassuringly in her ear and then she relaxed and let him hold her as she listened to him speaking softly into her hair, encouraging her with his words and the safety she felt when she was with him empowered her.

ooo

He watched, he was good at it; he seemed to be able to disappear into the scenery and, even in the posh parts of town, be unnoticed.

The house between the two sets of friends had been a godsend. Parked either opposite or just in front of it, in a small unobtrusive car, for a short while here, a short while there, he could see both sets of gates, knew when anyone went in or out and no one cared about him because he obviously wasn't waiting, looking, or needing any of them.

It was ten o'clock in the morning, and he guessed that the cops must be working a late shift. The doctor had gone off just after eight, taking his eldest daughter with him and the maid, the English woman and the youngest girl were still inside.

He hadn't planned to come back today, he didn't want to be spotted by spending too much time watching, but something had been wrong at Jo's house the previous evening, the older doctor had arrived in a hurry, and by the time Wayne had left to go home to bed he was still there. It had been eight this morning when he had parked back up, a different model and colour of car to the previous day, anxious to know what was going on, and the doctor's vehicle was still just where it had been the night before.

_Bitch_, he wondered what was wrong with her, he couldn't send flowers again, that had been done twice already, but he wanted to up the ante, wanted her to know he was about, watching, ready to pounce if he chose, and that she had no way of stopping him. He could phone, but so far that hadn't worked well. At the hospital they had denied she was there and he hadn't been connected at all, if he called the house and left his name with that Spanish butler he was disconnected. If he gave a name that no one recognised then he didn't get put through either. She was well protected, but he would break through, she was weak now, and he would shatter her resolve and her life.

ooo

"Vicki, I need to take some things round to Lieutenant Sloan, he's home this morning, and I want him to take a look at the notes I made yesterday. I'll take Anneya with me for the walk." Rae hadn't been up very long, she had groaned and turned over in bed when Jesse got up at seven, and although she thought she remembered getting a goodbye kiss, she wasn't sure.

"Ok, Mrs Travis, I'm going to go make the beds, for the last time on a Tuesday." Vicki smiled; the arrival of the new housekeeper the following week couldn't come quick enough for her. She loved working with the Travis's, her time with Anneya was fulfilling and when Eliana arrived home she was busy, happy and relaxed, but the housework side of things had made her seriously consider handing in her notice. She couldn't do all the chores, not properly, and look after Anneya, teaching her sign language, and how to cope in a hearing world. Thankfully the problem had been solved before she had to mention it and now, when she returned from her weekend away, there would be a new member of staff starting.

"Have fun." Rae smiled back at the young woman and watched as Vicki signed to Anneya that she would be going out with her mom. The sign, resting the thumb of the right hand on the cheek or chin, was the same as 'mother' and Rae was beginning to think of herself that way, as a mom, even though in her own mind she had, until now, always been a mum.

Carefully, Rae placed her daughter's sun hat on her head and rubbed cream on her arms, legs and face. Once that was done she picked up the notes she had copied and slid them into her purse. Anneya was beaming at her mother, enjoying the undivided attention she was getting, and she slipped her small soft hand into that of Rae's as they walked out of the entranceway and into the sunshine.

The trip wasn't very long, and Rae, needing to provide some sort of commentary for her little girl, stopped every few steps to point something out, whether it was a bird, a pretty flower or just, on one occasion, an unusually shaped stone.

As they reached the edge of the property next to their own Rae heard the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked and froze, the scar from her gunshot wound suddenly painful, her fear almost too much to deal with. Her own weapon was in the drawer of the hall table, locked away until she needed it for work, and so she waited, not wanting to distress or endanger her daughter in any way, for the feel of steel against her body, or worse.

"You don't know me, but I know who you are, Detective, an' I need you to do a little job for me." The accent was Texan, she knew that, but far stronger than her friend's.

Anneya looked up, wondering why her mommy had stopped walking and pulled on Rae's arm.

"Shhh." Rae held her finger to her lips, but, as she usually did, made the sound of the sign she was making and was surprised at the strength in her voice.

"What is it you want me to do?" For a moment Rae was sure that the Red Rose Killer was behind her, and if that was the case then she was as good as dead.

"Tell your friend, Jo Walters, that I am here, I am watchin', I will be waitin', an' she won't get away from me so easily next time." The pressure of the gun moved as he spoke in menacing tones and Rae felt her tension recede a little and then increase rapidly as she realised that the danger had been passed on and the muzzle was now pressed hard against Anneya's soft throat, a hand grabbing her long blond hair and, as the fear within her became tangible, with a sob Rae spoke.

"No, please, don't. I'll tell her, but please, don't hurt my baby." Rae tried to pull Anneya towards her, wanting to protect her even though so far she had failed spectacularly, but Wayne, releasing her hair, grabbed her by her free arm and yanked the little girl between his legs causing her to begin to cry.

"You tell her that Wayne says if she isn't careful she'll have the death of another chil' on her conscience because, like I mentioned, I know who you are, where you are, an' I know where your children are too!" Suddenly he pushed Anneya hard and the little girl fell to the sidewalk, crying loudly in pain and fear. As she began to crouch down instinctively to help her daughter Rae felt the gun butt crash into her skull and as she hit the ground and was still Wayne climbed into his car and drove away.

ooo

He had spent an enjoyable evening, planning, thinking, imagining, and now, as he put the bread away after breakfast on the Tuesday morning, Dominic-Matthew began to imagine again.

Susan she had said her name was, and he had to remember that he was Nika. He would call her, make sure that a movie was still ok, if not he could arrange to meet her just for a drink, or maybe a meal at a club, somewhere busy, popular, even on a Wednesday and he would give her his cell number to increase her confidence, he could ditch it after the date and get himself another one easily.

The flower was a problem. If he gave it to her at the beginning of the evening then she would freak, he could hardly carry it around with him, and he had read in the paper how the number of roses ordered and delivered since he had first been called the Red Rose Killer had halved. Suddenly though he had an idea, a brainwave, and the smile that crossed his face soon turned into a laugh as his mood continued to improve.

The last time, with Leigh Ann, had been good, the time before, with Krista, had been wonderful, he needed to be able to recreate a combination of the two and that way maybe he could get closer to the one, closer to perfection again. As always when he thought about her, how she had been so important to him, Dominic-Matthew felt the need to see her, look at her face, her body, her hair, and so, making sure that all the breakfast things were soaking in the sink, which Dominic knew was Matthew making his presence felt, he made his way into the third bedroom, no longer afraid of being stopped or interrupted.

ooo

Mark had checked Jo over, under the watchful and anxious eyes of her husband, until he had asked one too many questions and been sent out with instructions to get a message to Daniel that his mother was feeling much better.

The boy, at school only because he knew his mom had spoken to his dad when they woke, had asked Steve to send him a text message that he could check for between lessons. After he had done that Steve had carried out his second instruction and asked Juan to make an ordinary coffee for himself and his dad and a decaffeinated one for Jo.

Once that had been done however, nothing would have stopped him from being back in the east wing and he had prowled the hallway until his father, an indulgent smile on his face, had let him back in.

Jo was up, dressed and sitting quietly on the gold brocade sofa that matched the two chairs, the teddy still in her arms.

"Honey?" He could only say the one word, nothing except his wife mattered right now, even his new, tiny son had been moved into second place.

"It's ok … I'm ok, I need to go see Jayden, then I'll be even better." The smile was a little stronger than it had been and, although not totally convinced, Steve sat down too, kissing her gently and then just holding her, knowing that work and hospital would send them in different directions very soon.

At that moment though the phone had rung in the hallway and in next to no time Juan appeared in the doorway informing Steve that Detective Yeager was on the phone sounding very upset.

ooo

An idea had struck Wayne just as he got to the end of North Crescent Drive and he pulled out his cell phone.

"Could I speak with Doctor Jesse Travis please, it's urgent … thank you." The number had been put on the phone just in case, and was now definitely coming in handy. Cruising slowly to a halt in a small parking lot he waited until he heard the cheerful voice of the person he wanted.

_"Doctor Travis."_

"Doctor Travis, we've never met, my name is Wayne McCaulay, but you need to get home, your wife an' daughter have been in an accident … how do I know? Why, because I was the man who caused it." He was laughing as he disconnected the call, closed down his phone and put it back in his pocket and then, with the laugh growing louder, he rejoined the late morning traffic.

ooo

The phone call from Rae had sent him rushing out into the street, calling for his brother-in-law as he did so, where he found her ashen and shaking with her crying daughter held tightly in her arms.

Carefully he supported her against himself and carried Anneya on his hip as they made their way back inside the house where Mark was waiting anxiously for them. Half lying on the sidewalk Rae had been silent and shocked, and still she said nothing as Steve took her through to the morning room gently sitting her on the sofa where she leant back against the cushions before wincing and changing her head position slightly.

Anneya was no longer crying loudly, Steve had heard her as Rae spoke into the phone, just asking him to come get her, that she was outside, before the connection was cut. Now there was quiet gulping sobs from the little girl, as there had been when he tenderly picked her up to bring inside.

Steve spoke quickly to Juan, asking him to call Jesse and then crouched down in front of his partner and began to talk to her.

"Rae, what happened? Did you see who did this?" Her hand was in his as, almost automatically, he held onto it to try to encourage and support her.

"Steve, Honey, did you find …? Jo's voice cut across what her husband was saying and then she saw Rae and Anneya on the couch. "Oh my, what happened?"

"Jo, it's alright, I think Rae was mugged. Let me talk to her for a moment, ok?"

"No … he … he knew me. He said he was … was Wayne and had a message for you, Tex …" Rae paused, suddenly realising that the last person she should pass it onto was the person it had been intended for.

"No! Steve, he's here, at the house." Jo's voice was loud as her fear rose to new levels. "Daniel, we have to make sure that Daniel is safe."

"Honey, he wasn't out there, no one was, we didn't see anyone but Rae and Anneya." David had gone out with Steve, remaining a few extra minutes to check to see if there was anyone still watching or posing a threat. Now though he had disappeared upstairs with his daughter, not wanting to intrude.

Steve could see that Jo wasn't persuaded, and not knowing how to convince her finished lamely, "I promise you."

Jo didn't want to hear any more, her life was spiralling out of control, her baby was in the hospital, something was wrong with her brother, although as of yet she had no idea what, and now Wayne was attacking those dearest to her.

"What did he say?" Jo couldn't crouch down, but she had moved a little closer and her tone was insistent, as she demanded information from her best friend.

Rae, though had closed her eyes, the voices coming from all around her, along with Anneya crying in her arms was too much, she felt herself go cold all over, and the bile rise in her throat, as she knew she was about to be sick.

"Steve!" Mark added to what was, to her, a cacophony of sound as he saw his patient swallow furiously, "Bowl, now."

In a panic he looked around, knowing that getting to the kitchen and back wasn't an option and then, a moment later, his partner was throwing up into what he had a feeling was a crystal and silver rose bowl.

"Mark, please, check Anneya, just let me close my eyes for a few minutes while you do that." Rae's face was almost ghostly white and her voice was weak, but she was able to get her message across.

"I will check your daughter first, but I don't want you going to sleep. Steve, talk to her, take a statement, sing to her, dance, anything, but keep her awake. Rae, listen to me!" Mark spoke urgently, trying to keep her with him, his hand on Rae's wrist as he did so, and although her pulse was weaker than normal it didn't seem to be dangerously so and he let her arm rest on her lap.

"Rae, look at me, no, properly, and tell me how you ended up like this." Steve had his notepad in his jeans and, as he followed his father's instructions, although not quite to the letter, he slid it out, pulled a pen along with it and began to write.

"We … we were coming to see you. I have the notes … the notes I took yesterday in … my purse, what happened to my purse?"

"Is this it?" Jo could see a brown suede bag, with a flop over flap, almost like a postbag, lying on the floor by Rae's feet that David had put there. She couldn't bend to pick it up but as she pointed it out Steve lifted it into her friend's view.

"Yes, thank you. They're in the back of it. We were just walking, looking around when I heard … I heard … oh, God." The fear that she had pushed aside to save her daughter was back now with a vengeance; the vision in front of her was not of a sidewalk in Beverly Hills however, but of a kitchen in Santa Barbara as a gun was aimed at her and she faltered, crying out, "Not again, please, I couldn't … can't, not again," before she felt Steve's arms go round her and hold her tight.

ooo

It had taken Jesse almost forty agonising minutes to get from Community General to Beverly Hills. He had called Steve, unable to get through as the line was busy and had redialled, forever it seemed, until finally he spoke to Juan asking him to get someone to go check on his wife only to find that she was already there, and so, instead of drawing into Oak Place, he had screeched to a halt outside the impressive home of his friend, locking his car as he was running towards the already open front door.

"Where is she? What happened? I got a call." Jesse looked around, Juan was carefully securing the house once more, but then his quiet deferential voice was heard.

"Mrs Travis is in the morning room, Sir. Doctor Sloan, the Lieutenant and Mrs Sloan are with her, as is your youngest daughter."

"Anneya? Is she? What happened?" He asked the same question again, but this time he was by the door and it was Steve, still with Rae resting against him, who answered.

"She was threatened, Jess. Hit, with a gun butt we think, he …" Steve paused, unable to believe how low the man would stoop, "he threatened Anneya too."

For a moment Jesse couldn't move from his position in the doorway. "Mark? Anneya? She … she wouldn't understand, is she ok?"

"She has a nasty bruise coming up on her throat, but yeah, she'll be ok. She's very frightened, she hasn't let go of her momma's hand since she got here, and you'll need to keep a close eye on her for a day or so, but he didn't hit her, I think he grabbed at her, there are a couple of marks on her arm and some of her hair has been pulled out.

"He did," carefully Rae moved away from Steve, smiling slightly at him in thanks as she did so. "I tried to keep her close, but he yanked her away from me, he said … he said to remember that he … knew … knew where my children were, oh, Jesse." This time it was her husband's arms around her and the tears finally began to flow. She hadn't cried when Steve held her, trying instead to use his unfaltering presence in her life to strengthen and make her feel a little more like facing what had happened, but Jesse was different, with him she couldn't keep her emotions in, she held him close and let some of her anguish escape.

Fifteen minutes later Jesse had thanked everyone, put Rae and Anneya in the back seat of his car, strapped them in so they could still hug, and then driven home. Once they were safely inside Oak Place he had suggested they go up to his and Rae's suite where he had put his daughter into her sleepwear and watched as Rae got undressed and pulled on one of his old t-shirts before two of the most important people in his life had climbed into bed where, lying as close to each other as possible, they had quickly given in to the exhaustion they were feeling and fallen fast asleep.

Mark had examined both of them before Jesse arrived in Beverly Hills, and had been happy to release them into the younger doctor's capable hands. Although Rae had been sick her husband didn't think she had a concussion, but knew that she would feel pretty lousy for a day or two. The fear from when she had been shot, reignited by the gun in this incident, had been the reason for her vomiting he was sure and although the two doctors knew she was shaken and scared, Jesse was confident that physically she would soon be fine again.

As Jesse had said goodbye to his mentor and thanked both him and Steve for helping Rae, Mark had suggested that he get his wife to see Lauren within the next few days, knowing that the fear associated with the first incident which had almost claimed her life, linked with this one, could cause problems for her. Jesse knew that the idea made sense, and so he had called the hospital once Rae was settled and made an appointment for the following Monday. Once that was arranged he had spoken briefly with Vicki before taking his laptop upstairs, planning to catch up on his paperwork while he watched over his sleeping wife and child.

ooo

Susan looked out of the window on the Wednesday morning and smiled; she hadn't really expected the day to be dull or rainy, but she guessed it was a possibility. There had been torrential rain in February causing floods and landslides across coastal California.

Nika had called the previous evening to make sure that everything was ok for their date. He'd asked if she was still happy with the arrangements, which she was, and confirmed that they would meet at the movie theatre and have their meal in the restaurant there before going in to see the main feature, a film that had done well in the Oscars earlier in the year.

Susan was glad she had agreed to go out with Nika. There was no pressure, it was just a low-key affair, and if they didn't hit it off then there was no reason why they need ever see each other again. She hadn't wanted to go out with someone she knew well and definitely not with someone from the hospital. In one way she guessed she had let herself be picked up, and in a department store at that! Even so she was excited at the prospect of an evening with no strings attached and, humming to herself, she locked the door to her new apartment and walked the short distance towards the hospital.

Two minutes later she was crossing the street and entering the parking lot, even gladder that she had moved. Her last place had been a fifteen-minute car journey away, and that was on a good day! Now, if she was starting at eight, she could, conceivably, laze in bed until seven thirty, still have breakfast and a shower and be in time to grab a coffee in the cafeteria before her shift began. Today she was working nine till five and so would be able, after her short return journey home, to wash and style her hair before getting into some casual clothes, probably a pair of jeans and a slightly more dressy top and make her way to the movie theatre just five minutes further on than her usual walk to work.

ooo

Jesse had called the hospital and, at Rae's insistence, swapped his day shift for a night one. She was certain that by the evening she would be fine, and hadn't wanted him to lose his Friday off that they were planning to share. He'd also called Alex the previous evening and the young doctor had driven over that morning and checked both Rae and Anneya. The two of them had slept all the previous afternoon, woken and eaten a small sandwich each and then gone back to bed where, cuddled up together they had drifted back off to sleep and remained that way until after eight that Wednesday morning.

Anneya had a bruise on her throat, which could now be seen clearly as a circular shape with a hole or clear patch in the middle of it. It was obvious to anyone who looked closely that Wayne had jammed the barrel of the gun into her soft skin, causing it to break and there were two scabs forming where this had happened.

Eliana hadn't understood why her mommy and sister were sleeping in the same bed together when she arrived home from Sally's the previous afternoon, but Jesse had told her they were feeling poorly and then the two of them had spent over an hour cutting, sticking and making get well cards for Rae and Anneya. Eliana was clearly quite artistic, but more than that she was, just like her mother, neat and tidy. Jesse knew that if his own mother had ever bothered to spend any time with him as a child making things, that the glue, cut up and discarded scraps of paper, glitter, sequins and all the other myriad bits and pieces that seemed to be needed to make a card, would have been everywhere, all over the table, the floor, him; but with Eliana that didn't happen. Even though she was only five she still put the glue on one side of the table and the art supplies the other so they didn't get messy. She also cleared up after herself, explaining that Miss Amy wouldn't let you do anything else until your table was clean, and when this was done she wanted her daddy to read her a story.

Although he was desperately worried, not only about what had happened to his wife and child, but also about what Steve had told him relating to Wayne, Jesse had still enjoyed his time with Eliana enormously.

The cards, one each from Eliana for her mommy and sister, and one from him to both of them had been great fun to make, and afterwards as he was leaning up against the headboard of Eliana's bed, his little girl cuddled up in his arms as he began to read to her from '_Where The Wild Things Are' _he revelled in how fortunate he wasThe book was a little tatty, but that was because it was Jesse's own, he had loved it as a boy and was delighted that Eliana wasn't at all scared by it, and wanted it read over and over again. She loved all the characters, pointing to them and saying their names as her Daddy waited for her to tell him who they were.

Now though, Miss Vicki had taken Eliana out into the back garden, too frightened to let the little girl go anywhere near the front of the house, and he could see them talking with Martin who was also out there, weeding one of the beds.

The mail had been delivered and Jesse was sorting the bills and interesting stuff from the junk. Anneya was sitting up at the dining table next to him, a jigsaw in front of her. She kept looking over at her mother who was the other side of her and Jesse had seen her reach out and touch her three times so far.

As he picked up the final three pieces of post Jesse recognised the writing on one of the envelopes and, suddenly feeling furtive, carefully opened it.

_Dear Jesse,_

_I need to apologise to you, your wife and family, and this letter is for that. I realise now just how scary my actions might have seemed, but you have to believe me when I say that I never meant them that way._

_I know that although I had been away for a long while and both you and I had changed I hadn't allowed that to alter my perception of your feelings for me and mine for you. Of course you would have moved on, would probably be with someone else, maybe married, with children, but I never once allowed those type of thoughts to cloud my vision of a perfect LA with the man of my dreams, once my marriage ended, still waiting there for me._

_You have a beautiful family, and I still have plenty of time to find the right person to give me something similar, but only if I finally move away from the past and make my own future. _

_One step at a time, that is how I am going to go. I know you would prefer that I didn't work at the hospital, but I need that security, that familiarity, at least for a while, but I promise not to bother you. _

_Take care, Jesse,_

_Enjoy your life; I plan to enjoy mine,_

_Love,_

_Susan_

With a smile, once he had scanned the letter for a second time, Jesse passed it across to his wife, wondering at her response and watching her face as she read.

"Well, I hope she succeeds, this must have been difficult for her to write. Thank you." Rae handed the two sheets of paper back to her husband and then, after standing up moved behind him, put her arms around his neck and leant her head against his.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you over things I said about her, you were so mixed up, and she is beautiful, I didn't want to lose you, Jess, I love you too much."

Carefully, not really wanting to move his wife from where she was standing, Jesse turned and then, placing his hand into her hair, pulled her head down closer to his own and as they kissed, gently, he knew that whatever else happened in his life, he didn't want to lose her either.


	17. Chapter 17

17** Date with Destiny**

Jo hadn't, to everyone's surprise, retreated back inside herself after the attack on Rae and Anneya. Instead her anger had exploded forth as soon as Jesse had taken his wife and child home. Mark had left at the same time and, with David upstairs taking care of his daughter, she'd had no one to worry about offending or upsetting.

Now, on the Wednesday morning the anger was still with her and, although she was trying to think of other happier things as she got ready to go see Jayden, Steve could tell that she wasn't succeeding and he thought back to the previous morning when she had let fly for the first time.

_The decaffeinated coffee she had been drinking was finished, and she slammed the cup down onto the saucer smashing the latter and then sweeping the whole lot onto the floor._

_"Jo, Honey, don't." Steve was on his way back in from seeing their guests out as he heard and saw the crash._

_"An' what am I supposed to do then, Steve? I can't do what I want, which is blow his brains all over the nearest wall, I can't go runnin' after him, even if I knew where he was, which I don't, I have no idea how else to repay him for all the thin's he is doin' to me an' mine. So trust me, right now a broken saucer an' a bad mood are way nicer than he deserves."_

_Steve looked at his wife; she was trying so hard to keep herself under control that she was shaking. He understood her feelings of vulnerability, he was feeling that way himself, and not just about Wayne. The antics of Dominic were gradually wearing away at him and although he hadn't said anything, the prospect of a Captain's chair was very pleasant, but the prospect of never catching this guy, or getting Wayne off their backs wasn't, and he knew he had to deal with both things first. His anger though was too near the surface for him not to let it out, at least momentarily._

_"And you think I don't feel that way? You don't think that when I see you like this, hurting, scared, that I don't want to kill him too?" His voice had raised, his hands clenched into tight fists and he had suddenly growled and turned away his words still flung out into the air but slightly muffled._

_"When you told me about Waco, just the siege itself I wanted to wrap you up, protect you from having to even hear about something like that ever again, but then, then it got worse. I know you want to hurt him, so do I, but we can't, we just have to protect ourselves, keep Daniel and Jayden safe and make sure that the authorities do what we aren't allowed to." For a moment as he turned back towards her he had paused, the look on his wife's face as he opened his heart causing him to pull Jo into his arms, kissing her hair as he tried valiantly to ignore the image of Dominic that came into his mind._

"_You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and from you I've got Daniel, Jayden, a whole new way of life, I won't let one man threaten that … or two."_

_"Two?" Jo had pulled away, the confusion evident on her face and then she had realised, he could tell, before he spoke._

_"The Red Rose Killer, I see him in my dreams, he's constantly in my thoughts, I don't know how to beat him, Jo, he's killing and killing, and I can't stop him." Stepping back from her his susceptibility had surprised him, but he guessed that the helplessness he felt in being unable to protect his family from Wayne had linked itself to the helplessness he also felt as he was unable to protect those who had fallen under Dominic's hand and his eyes filled with tears._

_"Shhh, I know how much he is hauntin' you right now, but you are a good cop, an' you will get him. Wayne, I … I can't … I don't have the words to tell you how he makes me feel, but just knowin' that you are here, that you will do everythin' in your power to keep me safe, that helps."_

_His lips had found hers then and for a moment the room was silent before they parted again and he spoke._

_"I don't want you worrying, or … or worse, Jo. I wish I knew how to do more to help; I'll get an update on the APB later at work, and I'll get on to the Texas police, see if they have any outstanding warrants, or anything at all on him."_

_"Then we have to try an' forget about him for now. I don't know how we are gonna be able to do it, but we have to, together, because if he was watchin' before he will be watchin' again, an' I have no intention of him knowin' just how scared he has made me."_

The APB, which had been put out on Wayne McCaulay and the information Jo had provided, had been sent to the Houston Police Department, the Texas State Police, and the Texas Rangers. To start with Rae hadn't wanted to report the incident at all. Not because she didn't want Wayne to get caught, she did, but her friendship with Jo was too important and she didn't want her to suffer because of something that had happened to someone else.

Anneya had remained silent since the incident, although she no longer spoke because of her deafness, now she made no signs either, doing nothing but sleep or hold her mother's hand as she did simple things such as colouring. Rae had called Captain Newman and requested permission to work from home on the Thursday, even though she was sure she would be well enough to go to the station. Once the situation with her daughter had been explained to her superior officer he had been fine, and so Rae had arranged to drive in and pick up some of her casework, with her little girl in tow, and then come straight home again.

ooo

Now though it was Wednesday afternoon, Jesse had slept the morning away and headed off to work a little after three bemoaning the late shifts he had to do, but grateful that he had been able to rush home the previous day to be with his wife and child. Anneya was fast asleep on the sofa as Rae read through the papers she'd collected, and Jo, back from spending three hours with Jayden, had arrived to enjoy some time with her friend although by the way she was slowly and painfully pacing the room enjoyment seemed a long way off.

"Texas, please, sit down, none of this is your fault, let's face it, I've attracted my fair share of kooks over the years, it's only right you should have one as well."

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better!" Jo's reply came quickly, but she was lying, the humour in it did make her feel better, just a little bit and she smiled as she did as she was told and sat down.

"Rae, how do you cope when you're feelin' as if your life is runnin' out of control?" Jo was painfully aware of her stitches and had to stay where she was even though she wanted to be pacing again, walking, chasing, anything as long as she was doing something.

For a few moments Rae considered what she had been asked and realised that if anyone else had presumed her life was out of control at any time she would have been livid. Now though she wasn't angry, just thoughtful. She had never shut down, not in the way that Texas did, preferring to talk things through with either her husband or her therapist.

"I guess I mostly just run with it. You can't do anything else, but other times I talk, I didn't use to, I would keep it inside until I burst, but with Jesse…" For a moment Rae paused again, thinking back, it seemed, almost a lifetime, to her first case in LA, the day when, after reading the diary of a young girl who had been killed, she had finally begun to talk to her then boyfriend and ever since she had tried to share things with him when she felt the world getting on top of her. It hadn't always happened that way, because, as Texas said, their lives had a habit of running out of control, but when she did talk to him about things she always felt better afterwards. "Sometimes, even if you do talk it doesn't help, doesn't work, then you do lose control, at least I do." Rae paused, offering help came naturally to her, but she knew that Jo wasn't always good at taking it. This time though she knew that her friend had so many problems that something had to give.

"Honey, you know all of your friends will sit and listen to you, help you through this. Any one of the problems you have would be overwhelming on its own, but the three, well, I don't know where I would start to analyze and try to solve them."

"I have to leave Jayden in the hands of the doctors. I know they are doin' their best to keep him alive, an' he is gettin' on so well that, in one way, I worry about him less than I do David or Wayne."

Jo had explained David's problems to Rae as they enjoyed a cup of tea after she had first arrived at Oak Place. Now, with the two friends knowing as much as the other about each difficulty, the room was comfortably silent as they both processed their thoughts.

"David is sure that Debbie is behind the fraud in Texas?"

"Yep, said that it couldn't be anyone else. Mary, his secretary, has been there since the year dot, in fact I think she came with the buildin', David wouldn't be able to run the place without her an' trust me she is paid enough that she doesn't need to steal. She also knows that she could name her price an' Davie would pay it."

"And there isn't anyone else who has that type of information at their fingertips?" Rae's question was met by a shake of the head.

"Well, apart from me an' Steve I guess. But I'm richer than David, so is Steve, indirectly, an' I have no wish to destroy the man."

"Ok. Now, I know you've never liked Debbie but, apart from that, is there any reason why she would want, as you said, 'to destroy the man'?"

"No, but I just know that is what she is tryin' to do. Steve told you about the credit card, right?"

"No, but Michael did. You think that was her too?" For a moment Rae was stunned. "Why would she do that?"

"I have no idea, I wish I did. I know I wasn't nice to her, not like y'all were, welcomin' her into the family, but there was somethin' about her that I never liked, not from the first time I saw her."

"People say that you never get a second chance at a first impression, but also sometimes you never change your opinion of that first impression. I guess you were the one who was right this time and we were wrong."

Jo smiled sadly; she wished she hadn't been correct. She loved her brother, had wanted to love his wife, to have a sister, even if it was a sister-in-law, but that hadn't happened.

"So, how is that son of yours?" Rae knew that the change in subject would be welcome, and also knew that however worried her friend was she wouldn't be able to resist talking about her new baby. Rae was right, Jo's face, which had been taut with concern relaxed and broke into a huge smile.

"He is just doin' so well. D'you wanna see some pictures?" She began to rummage in her purse and Rae, relieved to feel the tension recede, nodded her head and waited.

ooo

By the time her shift finished Susan was so excited that she wasn't sure she would be able to walk home, wanting instead to run, even skip some of the way, but she managed to control herself, laughing instead at her silliness.

The apartment was quiet, as the hallways had been, when she arrived home and she enjoyed the preparations for her evening out, taking her time and singing along to the music she had put on the CD player.

It had been a long time since she had been on a proper date. The trip to the movies with Jesse had been a non-starter, and before that she had been married. Her husband had taken her out, but they were no longer dating and so the excitement, the anticipation that she was feeling right now hadn't been there.

After she and Nika had parted company Susan had bought herself some wonderfully scented bath oil as well as candles and an amazingly expensive face pack. Now, looking greener than _Shrek_ she was laying back in the warm water, bubbles up to her neck more relaxed and happy with herself than she had been in a long time.

The track she had been humming to finished and suddenly '_The Power of Love' _came on instead and singing lustily she looked at her clothes neatly laid out on her bed through the bathroom door and eased a little further into the water.

Across town Dominic-Matthew was going through his own ritual. The clothes were hung on the fronts of the closets, the two roses were laying on the dressing table, the candles lit around them and he sat with the photograph album in his hand slowly turning the pages, enjoying the faces of all the girls he had known over the years, all the girls he had watched, coveted and then controlled.

As the pictures changed he saw Krista, then Leigh Ann, there was Nadine, Jenna, Samantha and then finally after he sat looking at Tanisha for the longest time he slowly turned the page so that the one was looking out at him.

The anger he felt as he thought of her short, awful hair consumed him and for a moment his hand clenched the side of the album creasing the sheets and bending the photos. He willed himself to look back at her, at the hair, which hung down her back, beautiful and golden, thick and heavy. Then he thought of Susan, the way she had appeared to him as she came out of the changing rooms, the dress, beautiful on her lush body made all the more erotic by the hair hanging over her shoulders and down her back, and how the temptation to reach out and touch it had almost been too strong to resist.

He had been watching her from a distance ever since, knowing now where she lived, when she went to work, when she went home. He knew that she walked both ways, that she lived alone and that she heightened the fire, the passion inside him, and for a moment he went back to the front of the album to look at the pictures he already had of her. He saw her walking through the hospital grounds, the very hospital he had been born in, saw the confident way she held herself, the far away look she sometimes had in her eyes, as if she was thinking about something or someone else. The anticipation rose in him again and he ran a finger across one of the photos before closing the book and laying it on the nightstand with a sigh.

Dominic-Matthew reached out for one of the blooms and, as he always did, held it in the flame and watched it burn.

ooo

Daniel sat quietly in the NICU and watched his brother in wonder. He had never seen any photos of himself as a baby in fact he didn't remember seeing any pictures of himself until the ones from school started arriving. It wasn't that his birth mom hadn't loved him; at least he didn't think it was and, until now, it hadn't bothered him, but it would be nice to have a picture of himself to compare with his little, and he did mean little, brother.

"Hi." His dad came and sat down, Daniel had left him to find a parking spot and then have a quick word with Jesse while he went on up to the small hot ward.

"Hi." Daniel had gotten used to whispering in this place now, everyone did it and so he no longer felt stupid. "He's asleep, but the night nurse, Diane, she said that he's been just fine since Mom left, and that she'll be over to speak with you some time before we leave."

Steve smiled and then looked back down at his other son. Jayden was still almost too tiny, too perfect to be his, and the fear, which followed him constantly, that he would be unable to protect either of his children or his wife, rose in his throat. He had woken up from disturbing dreams almost every night since Jayden had been born and when they hadn't been about work then the same unseen danger had stalked his family instead, terrorising it and he had been powerless to do anything. Jo didn't know he was dreaming in this way. She had slept soundly enough that he didn't wake her and not wanting to upset his wife he hadn't mentioned them.

"Dad, are you ok?"

Steve felt his elder son touch his arm and looked up quickly. "Yeah, just a few miles away, why?"

"You looked, I don't know, worried, I guess. Is … is Jayden ok, and Mom?" The insecurities that he tried to hide from his parents surged forward and the uncertainty filled his eyes.

"What? Oh, yeah, I was just thinking about how small he is." Steve tried to cover up his concerns and then thought of something he had wanted to ask for a day or two. "Do you know how small you were? Or against Jayden how big?"

For a moment it was Daniel who was very quiet and Steve wondered whether he had said something he shouldn't. But he and Jo really had very little idea of what his life had been like before he came to live with them; maybe, he suddenly realised, it was because Daniel wanted it that way.

"Is there any way you can find that stuff out? I … I have no idea what I weighed, or what I looked like, it just never came up, I'm sorry."

"No, I am. That was insensitive." He paused for a moment as he processed his thoughts, "Look, you know this guy we are searching for, the Red Rose Killer, the press call him." Steve saw Daniel nod, an expression of confusion now on his face. "Well, Grandpa was able to discover where he was born, and when, so I'm sure he will be delighted to do the same for you."

The smile that lit up Daniel's face caused the embarrassment and discomfort that Steve felt to disappear. "When we leave here we'll go to his office, if he isn't there we can leave him a note."

"And you think he'll find it?"

Steve stifled a laugh, not sure what it would do to all the monitors, or the parents carefully watching them. He knew that Daniel was wrong though, however untidy or chaotic looking his father's office was, he would find the piece of paper almost immediately, knowing that it was new and important instinctively.

The two of them grew silent then, watching the youngest member of their family as he continued his fight for life, and Daniel hoped that he would realise just how lucky he had been to be born a Sloan.

ooo

Susan had debated taking a cab to the movie theatre, but in the end, knowing that the paths through the hospital were well lit day and night she had decided to walk instead. The grounds, always pleasant and nicely kept, somehow seemed even more so as her life and the world around her took on a rosy hue that matched her mood. Her high-heeled pumps clicked and clacked on the ground and as another nurse passed her going the other way they made eye contact and smiled at each other. The next person she saw was a doctor who worked with her occasionally and they stopped and talked for a moment or two before he wished her a pleasant evening and went on his way.

By the time Susan was back on the sidewalk it was almost time to meet with Nika. He had told her that, as they had only met the once, he would be wearing black jeans, a white button down shirt and a blue jacket with a rose bud in the lapel.

There were lots of cars in the parking lot of the multiplex and Susan made her way carefully across the road towards the main entrance wondering whether Nika would drive her home or if she would have to get a cab. Taking the time to look around herself she spotted two taxicabs one going in either direction and knew that she would have no trouble getting a ride.

There were plenty of couples going into the building, some holding hands others walking side by side, there were children with their moms and dads going towards the entrance to screen one where a Disney movie was advertised. Susan wasn't sure exactly where the movie she was seeing was playing and so she looked up at all the different posters to give herself a clue.

"Well, hi, I'm glad you came." The voice, suddenly in her ear, made her jump and she turned to find herself face to face with her date, who she had to admit looked good enough to eat. "You look beautiful; I wondered whether you might wear the dress."

"Thank you." Susan felt herself blush. She wasn't usually the shy type, preferring to take the lead in the relationships she had but somehow this guy made her feel more than happy to be wooed and complimented. "I figured if we were gonna sit in the dark for half the evening it would be a waste, but then I figured why not."

"That's true." Dominic-Matthew nodded and enjoyed the view. Susan stood still for a moment, pleased that she had changed her mind about what to wear. The top of the dress, soft and silky, fell in pleats below her throat, and he could see the outline of her breasts so perfect beneath it. But it was her hair that captured him; she had carefully curled the ends, and caught either side with tortoiseshell clips. Mentally drawing back from the images that rose in his mind, of her naked and compliant beneath him, he spoke again. "There's a show starting in about an hour, shall we go eat? I went and checked and they serve pretty much everything here, all in the same place."

Susan nodded her agreement and ten minutes later found herself sitting, a glass of chilled white wine in front of her, waiting for her pizza to arrive. Nika had ordered a lasagne and as they chatted happily he began to ask her about herself and she replied easily, telling him a little about her time in Kuwait and how much she was enjoying being home again.

ooo

By the time Diane had chatted with Steve and Daniel and they had left their note in Mark's office they were getting hungry. Coming out of the main entrance to the hospital Steve had smiled and suggested that maybe it would be a good idea to go get a burger and see a movie before heading home, so that Jo could have some time with her brother without them around.

Daniel had been delighted to agree, there was a week long showing of the _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy at the nearby multiplex and, as he hadn't seen the final part yet, it only took a little persuasion before the two of them were making their way there and leaving the car in the parking lot.

Because each movie was so long and they were being shown in sequence they started and finished at different times from the other films being shown. The restaurant was almost empty when they arrived and once their tickets had been reserved they made their way to a table as far from the entrance as possible and made themselves comfortable.

Once they were settled they ordered their burgers and fries with a soda each and then Steve pulled the digital camera out of his pocket that he had used at the hospital. He and Jo had decided that they would take photos every day, wanting to look at them at home to see how he was changing, growing, getting stronger and stronger.

This time the photos also concentrated on Daniel who, for the first time, had been present when his brother had needed changing. Even though Jayden had been out of the isolette already that day Diane had carefully laid him in Daniel's arms once he was sweet smelling again.

The breast milk he was getting had done disgusting things to his diapers and, no matter how much Steve or Daniel loved him, getting close when he was being cleaned up was no longer an option.

The picture, which came up on the viewing screen, was Steve's favourite. One of the advantages of the digital age was that you no longer got a pile of pictures with people's eyes closed and mouths open and he had deleted many strange photos in the last few days. This shot though had just presented itself to him and he had pressed the button. Now he looked at Daniel's smile as he faced the camera and Jayden, almost as if he too had known, was looking at his dad as well, eyes open and face relaxed. Steve knew that before the evening was out he would have enlarged and printed it as well as leaving instructions for Juan to buy a frame and hang it in the morning room.

Daniel had scooted his chair around next to his dad and for a few moments they watched the pictures change as Steve scrolled through them and then a thought struck him and he smiled a wicked smile.

"You know, when we get home you could send these to Great-Aunt Dora, I know she would be just delighted to see them. I'll bet she'll even call to thank you." Quickly he moved his chair back round the table so he could see his father's expression.

"I could suggest that she come and help Juan look after you while your mom and I are back and forward to the hospital when I send them. What d'you think?" Steve's smile was broad as he enjoyed seeing his son squirm instead of him and then he smiled up at the waitress as their meals were served the contest tied but not over.

ooo

The note that Steve and Daniel had left in Mark's office had both thrilled and saddened him. He was thrilled that he could do something to help his grandson, but saddened to think that he knew so little about himself. Mark knew that Jo and Steve had a copy of the birth certificate at home, but also knew that now wasn't really the time to call and ask for the details from it. Instead he picked up the phone and dialled the familiar number for the precinct and asked for Cheryl's extension.

After a minute or two of general conversation and pleasantries Mark got down to business and Cheryl promised to call him back within the hour. Once that was done Mark began to think about his eldest grandson. The day that Steve had been born had been the happiest of his life, when Carol had been born a few years later his contentment had known no bounds. On both occasions he had taken copious photos and then he and Catherine had spent many happy hours sorting them through and, over the years, looking and enjoying them over and over again. There were movies too, home movies which charted the growth of his children, the beauty and dedication of his wife and the family life which they had taken such pleasure in.

Some of that was available to Daniel now, for a technophobe Steve wielded a mean digital camera and so there were pictures available as well as movies of vacations, visits to the beach, school celebrations and family occasions. But it was almost as if the boy had no past. Being fostered and then adopted was difficult, but surely, out there somewhere, must be information, pictures, even members of his birth family.

Mark wasn't naïve enough to think that the perfect first family existed for Daniel; if it did then he wouldn't be a Sloan, but if maybe he could find out some things he might be able to make up a scrapbook, even if it was of national and international events that had happened in his lifetime, just to give the boy a sense of history, of self.

The ringing of the phone shook him out of his thoughts and reaching over and lifting the receiver to his ear Mark heard the pleasant tones of Cheryl on the other end and listened with hope to the information she had to impart.

ooo

Susan had never been a huge Leonard di Caprio fan, but she had enjoyed _'The Aviator_' with the rest of the audience. Nika had been attentive although not overly so. Resting his arm along the back of her seat but not putting any pressure on her. In the end she had leant back against it and felt his hand gently squeeze her shoulder.

The chocolates he had purchased were soon eaten, and he had slid the box underneath the seat. The scent from the rose in his jacket had been heady, beautiful and she had smiled gratefully when he had offered the peach coloured bloom to her.

Now, as they walked back out towards the darkness, she looked around to see if he would make towards the parking lot or whether she should get ready to hail a cab.

"How did you get here?" Nika spoke quietly, his arm around her waist pulling her close enough that he didn't have to raise his voice against the swell of conversation all around them. The lobby was packed and Susan could see that the only theatre not disgorging its occupants was showing the final part of the _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy, which she had already seen.

"Sorry? Oh, I walked. I only live the other side of the hospital. It's about ten minutes from here."

"In that case, may I walk you to your door?" Nika made a little bow and was rewarded by a giggle from Susan. They had kissed in the movie theatre, his lips feeling soft and gentle against her own as his goatee rubbed her skin, his fingers running through her hair causing her to shiver and the prospect of spending even another few minutes with him was a good one.

"Thank you, that would be a lovely end to a wonderful date." Susan smiled and took his hand into her own and they began to make their way through the parked cars towards the sidewalk and the bright lights of the hospital in the near distance.


	18. Chapter 18

18 **Lights, Camera, Action**

Frank Marshall had finished a very nice meal in the cafeteria where he had chatted for a while with Doctor Martin, a nice young man who he had seen grow into the very good doctor he now was. They both came from the same part of the country, and often chatted about places they'd visited on trips home, even mutual friends they'd discovered they had. Now he'd found out that the doc was getting married, and that pleasant thought had cheered him considerably as he made himself comfortable in his seat for another deadly dull night in front of the monitors attached to all the CCTV cameras around the hospital and its grounds.

He caught sight of a couple of the nurses from paediatrics taking a short stroll as they usually did on their break and then saw another woman, blonde, who he recognised from the ER, and tried to remember her name, he didn't succeed though and gave up trying. She seemed happy enough with the young man she was with and he needed a coffee desperately.

ooo

"You know, we never spent much time here together as children, did we?" David was looking out on the gardens from the morning room as he spoke.

"Well, we were here at the same times, but I guess we had different interests. Grandpa was already showin' you how to run a business, an' Grandma, I guess she just never thought she would be raisin' another family havin' done it once already." As much as Jo wanted to get up from her seat and stand with her brother, she was comfortable, and knew that to move would cause her pain, a pain she was glad to be almost free of, just for a while.

"No, I don't think she ever got over that. I know she missed momma an' papa, but she never seemed to let herself go enough to even try to be a second mother … I wish she had." David turned round and looked down at his sister. She was as beautiful as ever, but there was a fatigue about her, a sadness in her eyes and he moved over, sat down and took her hand in his own.

"I am so sorry about all this. I … I guess I made a mess of everythin'."

"No, not everythin', an' I'm sorry too. I know that it doesn't really matter any more, but I didn't give Debbie a chance, I should have done."

"It's immaterial now, you were right, you know I didn't like it, but it's forgotten, ok?"

Jo was just about to reply when the air was filled with the sound of a baby crying and David got to his feet. Damita was, or had been, asleep in her stroller out in the main hallway so that their voices didn't disturb her. Now he picked her up and, not wanting to upset his sister by carrying her back into the room, began walking up and down the hall, softly cooing.

Jo knew that the little girl wasn't due a feed and, unless her diaper needed changing, guessed that she just wanted a little company. Suddenly with tears in her eyes, she spoke again.

"Davie, can … can I hold her? Just for a little minute?" She didn't get up, but held her breath, as she suddenly felt so empty, so unfulfilled, and watched as the tiny baby, who seemed so huge to her, was placed in her arms for the first time.

For a minute or two, as she got her emotions under control, Jo just looked down at the little girl, who had, amazingly, stopped crying the moment she had been given to her Aunt.

"Hey, Sweetie," the words were softly and haltingly spoken and she closed her eyes as two tears ran down her face. Slowly she looked into the vivid blue eyes looking up at her and Jo realised that even though her own baby wasn't home, even though her sister-in-law was probably trying to defraud her and her family out of a large part of their business, this child had nothing to do with any of it. Damita was three months old, all she needed was to be loved and cared for, and as a family they could all do that for her.

ooo

The night was still warm and Susan was glad that she hadn't bothered with a jacket. She could feel Nika's hand on her waist and he kept his arm around her as they walked along the pathway and then she realised he had begun to slow down until they were standing still and he was looking around.

"So this is Community General Hospital, I guess it's changed a lot over the past 34 years."

"Well, yeah, it's been added to over and over, in fact they even found a body in the wall when they were beginning one of the new extensions." Susan smiled, the story had become almost legend; how poor old Norman Briggs had swung the sledge hammer to initiate a major construction project only for a skeleton to fall out of the brickwork at his feet which was later discovered to be a murder victim from the 1960's.

"I was born here, you know." Dominic-Matthew looked about him, some of the hospital was quite old, in fact, if you concentrated, you could see the different eras in the architecture of the various buildings. "But then I guess a lot of the population around here could say that."

"This is quite a transient city, but yeah, when I say where I work most people at least have heard of it." Susan looked around herself, she was glad to be back, the sights, smells, the atmosphere, she had missed LA, but she had missed the hospital more.

There was a bench in part of the grounds that could only be described as a small courtyard by the placement of the paving slabs, with a rectangular piece of green in the middle, and some low growing bushes separating it from other parts of the landscaped gardens. Dominic-Matthew began steering Susan towards the seat noting, as he did so, how it was lit by a street lamp from over the hedge behind and that she did nothing to prevent their detour.

As they sat down he took in more of the immediate area. This little pocket was almost too good to be true. He had found it as he planned the night in detail just the day before. There were other quiet corners in the hospital grounds that he had considered but this one was on the way to Susan's home so didn't cause alarm, it was also situated in an area of the hospital where the CCTV cameras didn't appear to go.

The previous afternoon Dominic-Matthew had sat on the grass and watched as a young couple, a nurse and a man wearing a white coat identifying him as a doctor ate their lunch in this same quiet corner. They had kissed, talked, he had even seen the man get more than a little amorous, but the camera on the side of the building off to their left hadn't moved in their direction once. In the now dimming light of day he knew that they wouldn't be disturbed either.

"You are very beautiful you know." He raised his hand and ran it through the long hair on the right side of her face, the gentle curls at the ends bouncing back as he let them fall.

"Thank you." Susan blushed; it was a long time since someone had told her that. In her mind, she had pictured many times how the scene would unfold when she got back to LA; Jesse would fall into her arms, almost in the way he had actually done. He would tell her how he had missed her, her beauty, her body, and then he would stay, they would be back together and she would be in heaven. That hadn't happened, but now this man was telling her the same thing and she shivered, moved a little closer to him as she listened to his words, and then relaxed into a kiss that became passionate the moment their lips touched.

Gradually the conversation began to flow again. Sitting closely together they talked about their childhood, Susan enjoying the chance to reminisce, and Nika, slowly, almost painfully, telling her about the foster homes he'd been in, the unhappiness, the feeling of never belonging, of always moving on to somewhere else, someone else, not all of it was true, but he knew that she wouldn't ever be in a position to check up on him.

He talked about living in New York, mentioning a girlfriend he had there, slowly running his hands up Susan's back as he did so and then towards the front of her body. As she moved a little so he was no longer touching her breasts he reached out, winding his hand roughly into her hair and suddenly Susan was afraid, desperately afraid.

ooo

Rae sat, a pile of handwritten notes beside her, trying to focus. Although she usually put everything onto the computer as soon as she could, she had always written things down in longhand first. If there were three or four pages of notes then it was easy for her to type them up, but when it was a line here, a quick thought there, they got put together in a clear plastic folder until it was full to bursting and she knew there was no escape, she had to deal with them.

That was the situation she found herself in right now and so she opened up three separate pages in word, called one '_Dominic'_, one '_Albert'_ and one _'Other'_ and then began typing. When she got to the small note to remind herself that she hadn't yet read Albert Hardy's autopsy fully she groaned. There were some things that Rae had brought home from the station, which she didn't need, but now there was also something she hadn't brought with her that she definitely did need. Calling up yet another page she named it '_Brainless',_ smiled, and then moved on.

After Texas had returned home Rae had spent time with her children, she had also tidied up the house a little, wanting it to be neat and clean for the new housekeeper but not wanting Vicki to have had to do it all before she left for her long weekend. Jesse had called during his break and they'd chatted for almost twenty minutes without either of them being interrupted. It would be morning before she spoke to him again and, even with all her work to do, she wished he were here to share the time with her.

Rae had told Jesse about the time she and Anneya had spent at the station. It had been obvious that her daughter had been expected. There was a colouring book on the desk; one of the ones that Rae knew the community officers took into pre-schools and community centres. Next to the book there was a carton of juice and an apple.

A tall, sandy haired young man in uniform was also in the squad room and Rae had smiled up at him as they passed on their way to the filing cabinets, not recognizing him, but feeling cheered and happy by the thoughtfulness shown to her child.

"Hi, my name is Billy Tuttle, you're Rae Yeager aren't you?"

"Yeah, that's right, what can I do for you?"

"The Captain asked me to come speak to your daughter, to tell her a little bit about where her momma works."

Rae had been confused, she knew that it had shown on her face, and she looked down at her little girl, who was looking around her wide eyed, holding fast to her mother's hand.

"Detective, I have Deaf parents, I learned to sign before I learned to speak. I promise you I won't scare her."

Rae nodded, why hadn't she thought of asking at work if anyone knew about helping with her problems? They arrested Deaf people, interrogated them, had their help as witnesses. _Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ she had berated herself, and then felt the small soft hand leave hers, looked at Anneya and smiled.

Billy was crouched down, introducing himself, she could tell, to Anneya, and the wide eyes had been replaced with a look of joy, of amazement, that someone else apart from her momma, papa, sister and Miss Vicki could speak with her.

The colouring book was still on the table next to her, the crayons beside it. There was a second book for Eliana and together the girls had coloured, scribbled and laughed as they enjoyed their gift.

Rae smiled at the memory, she had invited Billy to come to the house during the week, wanting not only for him to spend some time with her daughter again, but also to tell her and Jesse things, answer questions, see the situation from a different perspective and already she was looking forward to the visit.

ooo

"What …? no, that hurts. Nika!" The fear in her eyes excited him and he pulled her hair tighter as he felt himself grow in stature and his control began to extend from just the situation to her as well.

"It is supposed to hurt! Look at you; you're all the same! You dress up pretty, but when things start to get exciting you leave me, just like she was gonna leave me in New York. And her hair, I don't have her hair, but I will have yours."

Again she tried to move from him and he raised his voice a little, but still he was calm, terrifyingly calm.

"Never again will you back away." He looked at the fear in her eyes once more and enjoyed it, his voice changing as he spoke again. "What, you don't want to play? How sad, but I do, and this time we **are** gonna play, we are gonna play my way, Sara, and this time I write the rules."

The sarcasm in his tone, the forceful nature of his terrifying behaviour all made her head swim, her body heavy, she couldn't move, even though she knew she had to, had to run before it was too late, but in the end all she did was plead with him.

"Nika, please."

"That is NOT my name. My name is Dominic, but the cops, they call me the Red Rose Killer, perhaps you've heard of me?" His voice changed again just a little, it was calm once more, but now it was also cold and calculating, and Susan's horror increased again.

With her hair still held firmly around his fist he watched her try to break away from him, from his hold on her, and then she screamed, they always screamed and he pulled her hair, twisting her around as he did so and, with her back to him, he plunged the knife into her hearing her cry increase in volume as the blood flowed down her back and over his hand.

With a surge of almost super strength Susan pulled until her hair ripped from her head, plunging forwards off the seat, staggering from the pain and fear that surrounded her as she instinctively tried to get back towards the main walkway. She heard him roar as he leapt after her and she stumbled, falling to her knees, feeling her shoe being ripped from her and then a white hot pain shot through her foot and, even in her panic-stricken state, she knew what he had done.

ooo

Frank had made himself a second cup of black coffee which was steaming nicely when he caught sight of a movement on one of the cameras situated near the perimeter and his drink was forgotten in an instant.

Grabbing the microphone in front of him he relayed the location into it urgently, gabbling as he watched a scene almost too horrific to contemplate unfold before him, its participants moving in and out of camera range. He heard the confirmation of security guards on route and then, his eyes glued to the screens; he prayed that they wouldn't be too late.

ooo

Most of the pages with notes on now had lines through, indicating that she had finished with them. The little post-its though were still to be done. In some ways these could be of more use than the detailed comments. Sometimes a one word note or short sentence could set off a train of thought that would lead to greater things.

The phone rang and Rae reached out, glad she had remembered to bring the handset in with her. "Detective Yeager … Yes, that's right … where? No, no, I'm on my way." Her face had indicated the dismay she felt and, as she disconnected the call, she almost immediately dialled again to ask Texas if Juan could come mind the girls and then, as she waited impatiently for him to arrive, tried to get through to her partner.

ooo

The call to the ER had come in when the doctors were enjoying a lull in patients, Alex had been talking with Jesse about the initial plans for his wedding and that had led them to recalling not only Jesse's marriage to Rae but also Steve's to Jo. Alex had just told Jesse that he and Shannon wanted Daniel to be the best man and his girls and Amanda's boys to be part of the wedding party as well and was downing the last of his coffee when the Tannoy sprang into life. "_Code Blue: Doctor Travis to the ER STAT, Code Blue: Doctor Jesse Travis to the ER STAT."_

As he turned to leave the doctors' lounge the voice called out again. _"Code Blue: Doctor Martin to the ER STAT, Code Blue: Doctor Alex Martin to the ER STAT."_

Their conversation was instantly forgotten as they rushed down the hallway, a code blue was an adult medical emergency, and both men were reviewing protocols and procedure as they made their way to the nurses' station.

"What've we got?" Jesse arrived first pulling on latex gloves as he talked and looking around anxiously at the same time.

"Doctor Travis, Doctor Martin, it's a nurse from here, she's been attacked in the grounds. Security called for the paramedics, I don't know how she is, but it sounds bad."

The two doctors nodded, and for a moment waited in silence before moving further towards the doors of the emergency room so they could see the gurney as it arrived.

ooo

By the time Juan had come to look after the girls and she had driven across town it was only five minutes after she arrived that Rae saw Jesse and Alex come out of the trauma suite. Their white coats were covered with blood and she stood up, moving forwards immediately as did the officer who was with her. His partner was on the door to where Susan was being treated, and she would have her room guarded by these two men and another team for as long as it took, if she was still alive that was.

Both doctors looked traumatised themselves. Their faces were drawn and, although the tiredness and pain in their eyes didn't surprise her, it did concern Rae and she wanted to touch Jesse, ask him how he was coping, take him into her arms and just hold him until his world righted itself again but she did none of those things, instead she asked just one question. "How is she?"

"Alive." It was Jesse who spoke, the strain in his voice telling his wife just how difficult he had found his task. "She's ready to go to the OR. Rae, I know you need to speak with her, but take it easy, ok?"

"She's conscious?" Rae looked surprised, she hadn't thought she would get a chance to speak with Susan this soon, wasn't even sure she would still have been alive by the time she'd got to the hospital, but now, well maybe now, she could get a break.

"Yeah, but in a lot of pain, and in shock. Rae, I'm gonna come with you, and when I say stop, you stop." Jesse moved back towards the room, his wife hesitated before following him and finally placed her hand on his arm slowing him down also.

"Jess, no one else has survived; I need to speak with her, for as long as possible." She turned as she stood by the door. "Alex, I've been calling Steve's cell, so has Texas, we can't get him, could you get on to her and ask if she'll keep trying?"

"Sure, Rae, no problem."

"No one comes in here without an official Community General badge, or my say so, and you get their names and addresses. Anyone you aren't expecting is told to leave, if they don't, you arrest them." Rae spoke seriously, leaving no room for argument.

"Yes, Ma'am." The young officer looked at his superior officer. She was exuding confidence and authority, but he could see a little excitement in her eyes, she had waited a long time for this moment, they all had.

ooo

The movie finally finished and Steve and Daniel made their way back out into the cooling evening air. He knew that some of the people leaving with them had sat and watched the entire trilogy from start to finish, maybe even more than once. The special showings had been on all week and, according to the lady he bought the tickets from, this was the first respite they'd had, they'd been lucky to get in.

"You know we could stay and watch the entire thing." Daniel smiled as he spoke; he'd seen the way his dad had had to stretch his long legs out into the aisle. Had seen him ease his back a little, but Daniel had also known that he would enjoy the film as much as he would and so he'd let his dad get up and buy the soda and popcorn just before the movie started, to give him one last chance to move around.

"Uh, no. I enjoyed it, but twice in one day? I don't think so." Steve was taking his phone out of his jeans as he spoke. He had forgotten to call Jo after they left the hospital and, although he had kept telling himself he would pop out when there was lull in the excitement of the film, there hadn't been one and he had never done it.

The small screen showed eight missed calls and he wondered what could be so urgent that he had been contacted so many times. _Jayden_ his heart missed a beat as he thought of his baby son and punched in the quick dial number for his home.

"The Sloan residence … Steve, darlin' … he is next door lookin' after Eliana an' Anneya. You need to get to the hospital Rae is … no, he's just fine, the Red Rose Killer struck again … it was Susan."

The message rang in his ears as Steve tried to work out what to do. Daniel had his learner's permit, but couldn't drive himself home. There was no way he would send him alone in a taxicab, even to Beverly Hills, he would have to come with him.

"Son, I have to go to the hospital …" He saw the same anxious look he was sure he'd had himself not a minute earlier and sought to reassure him. "No, it's not Jayden; you can stay in Grandpa's office until I'm done, ok? Or maybe with Alex if he's on duty, but we need to go, now."

The car journey hadn't taken long, Daniel had sat quietly watching his dad but thinking about himself. He had felt so lonely and almost invisible when Jayden had been born the previous week. He had known though that it wasn't deliberate on his parents' part and had promised himself that he would ride the temporary storm without letting his mom and dad know how he felt.

The time at his grandpa's place had been great. He'd enjoyed Mark's company, the discussions they'd had making him feel so included, so loved, so special and again he'd realised how lucky he was. At the same time however, he'd wanted to be home with his family, even though he knew there was a good reason why he wasn't able to be, and he'd prayed for his brother in his own way, so that things could get back to normal.

Michael had understood, just as his grandpa had, and he too talked to him, he'd taken him out and explained some of the things he'd found out about premature babies. The information, given by someone who wasn't a doctor, had helped him realise the stress that his folks were under, and he'd felt proud of himself and the way he had remained quietly in the background instead of acting like a jerk.

Now finally tonight he'd had, although no one else knew it, his reward. The time with his dad and Jayden had been special, the movie too was wonderful, and to cap it all he got to see his dad in action. Lieutenant Sloan at work. A big smile came to his face and he let out a satisfied sigh as he leant back in the seat. He was sorry for the victim, but he was feeling too good to let that take away from his evening. Life was great.

ooo

"Susan?" Rae's voice was soft and carefully she put her own hand over that of the pale and terrified patient in front of her.

"You." Susan seemed to jerk away from the woman standing over her, and then watched as Rae sat beside her, wondering what she wanted.

"Yes, me. I need to ask you a few questions. I know you're scared, and in pain, but this is really important."

For a moment Susan looked at the person who had married her Jesse, the confusion adding to the myriad of emotions she already felt, having no idea why that woman was here, or what she wanted to ask.

Rae, seeing the shock and confusion in the young woman's eyes explained softly who she was. "Susan, I'm a police officer. You were attacked tonight; I need to know what happened."

"Oh. I … he seemed so nice. It … I … we only went to see a movie." Her eyes were closed, as if talking and looking together took too much effort, and Rae had a feeling they probably did.

"What did he say his name was?" Rae was used to writing quickly, but Susan's words were coming out in gasps and she had no problem keeping up.

"N … Nika, but … but in the end … before …" she paused for a moment, not being able to continue, "before this … this happ … ened. He said he … he said he was Dominic … the Red Rose …" the words faded and for a moment Susan was totally still.

"Rae, that's enough. She needs to go to surgery in a minute anyway."

"Jesse, please just a little longer." Rae thought quickly. What were the most important questions to ask? The door opened as the room became silent and a nurse put her head round it.

"Doctor, the OR is being prepped; the orderlies are on their way."

"Thank you, nurse. Rae, when they come, that's it, over."

"Susan, can you hear me?"

"Yes … I'm sorry … so sorry."

"Don't worry. Just answer a couple more questions, why did you go with him if he looked like the guy in the papers?"

"Be … because he didn't." Susan opened her eyes now, wanting them to know that she hadn't been that stupid.

"How? How didn't he?"

"His hair … it was dark, like … like his eyebrows, and he had glasses … a beard too. A …" Susan raised her hand, grimacing with pain as she did so, "thin, a thin beard."

"Like a goatee?" Rae could see Susan's finger tracing a shape in the air.

"Yes … yes, that's it." Again she paused, as if remembering, and then as the orderlies entered the room she spoke again. "No … wait … he said … he said that someone had … left him … in New York … he called me Sara, said … he said I would never … le … leave him again."

This time the exertion was too much and Susan fell back into the pillows as alarms began to scream and Rae, closing her notebook and putting it away quietly, left the room as Jesse tried, once again, to save her life.


	19. Chapter 19

19** Victim Support**

Daniel had stayed about five steps behind his dad since they'd left the car in the hospital parking lot. He didn't want to have to go with Alex or his grandpa, he wanted to watch his father, see what he did when he was working and so, not only did he keep his distance, but he stayed silent too, hoping that he would, for a while at least, be forgotten.

There were two uniformed officers in the main hallway of the ER and Steve went straight to them.

"Guys, where's Detective Yeager?"

"In the doctors' lounge, Sir. She told us you knew where it was and to wait here for you. Now we'll go to the OR. She said that it was almost impossible to get to someone there, but that we should be on hand just in case."

"The victim survived?" Steve was astounded, he hadn't called on his way in because he'd been too close and in too much of a hurry, but also, he knew, he hadn't wanted to hear about Susan's death over the phone.

"Oh yeah, barely. Twice they had to revive her before she even got to the operating room." It was the other officer now, and Steve saw that he was looking just a little grey.

"Are you alright?" Steve had, almost unconsciously, begun writing down what the two officers said.

"Yeah, I don't like hospitals, never have, but it goes with the job so I just swallow hard and think of the overtime."

Steve smiled a small smile, but he wanted to be on his way. "If you need me I'll be in the doctors' lounge." He didn't wait for a reply but strode down the hallway, and his son, quietly and carefully, followed him.

ooo

The two hospital security guards both had a mug of sweet tea in front of them which they'd been told to drink down before beginning their statements. Rae had made herself an herbal tea with one of the bags she kept in her jacket pocket. The three of them were sitting around the table, looking at each other but saying nothing.

The notes that she'd taken when speaking with Susan were running in audio form through her mind, _dark hair, glasses, and a goatee beard_. She had been in touch with the public relations department at the station and knew that by now they would have passed on details of Dominic's new appearance to the papers ready for their Thursday editions. Rae realized that it would do no good, he wouldn't look like that the next time he went hunting, and she wondered what parts of his routine, his signature, he would feel able to change other than his appearance. Maybe they should mention the hair, although it seemed that the victims were dead before that happened, the feet, they could tell the media about the feet, but even then, when that happened, they were as good as dead, incapacitated and probably so terrified that escaping was beyond them.

"Rae." The one word made her look up and she saw her husband standing in the doorway, he was shaking, his face was haunted and she rushed towards him.

"Jesse? It's ok, Honey, it's ok." Rae looked around, she didn't want to embarrass him or the security guards, but if Jesse didn't sit down she was sure he would fall down instead.

"Rae!" This time her name was said with an urgency and command that only came from her partner and she looked up the relief evident on her face.

"Steve, I have to get Jesse somewhere that he can rest." Rae had her arm around him now, and Jesse was leaning against her, needing her presence, her reassurance, his eyes closed as he listened to her. "The security guards, I haven't started to interview them yet. My … my notes are on the table. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Steve had taken in the entire scene in one glance. He nodded, looked into the doctors' lounge, saw the notebook, the men, even the clock on the wall, and then smiled.

"Go, I'll read over what you've got so far and then start."

Rae just nodded, Steve had all the information that she did apart from her talk with Susan, and so she knew she didn't have to say anything else. Instead she carefully turned Jesse so he was facing in the direction of the elevator and then, slowly, they walked away leaving Daniel sitting quietly outside the doctors' lounge wondering what was going to happen next.

ooo

Steve watched his two closest friends as they left the ER, not turning away until the doors to the elevator closed and he could no longer see them. A movement by his side reminded him of his son's presence and he sat down, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he made himself comfortable.

"I'll get a nurse to check if Grandpa or Alex is available. I have no idea how long I'm gonna be here. Or I can call Mom, Juan can come get you."

"Dad, please, I won't tell anyone what I see or hear, but please let me stay, just a while longer. Get Juan to start out in an hour. I'll get up for school, I promise."

Steve was torn, he had work to do, vital work, but he had a responsibility to his son as well. The fact that Daniel wanted to stay, to watch him work, thrilled him. But this was a serious murder case; all of them were, but this one even more so. He turned to tell his son that he had to go home but the look of expectance, of love on the boy's face made the words die on his lips.

"Just don't tell your mom, ok?"

"Sure, Dad, no problem." Daniel settled happily in his seat and Steve, with a deep sigh, got back to his feet and went into the doctors' lounge.

The two men had finished their drinks and were sitting, one looking at his fingers as he moved one thumb round and round the other, the second man, seemingly unable to take his eyes off what his companion was doing, followed the actions of the hands almost without blinking.

"Hi, I'm Lieutenant Steve Sloan; I'm guessing you know why it's now me and not Detective Yeager going to do the questioning."

"Yeah, she know that doctor?" The guard twiddling his thumbs stopped the movements and looked up.

Steve was so used to everyone at the hospital realizing that his partner was married to his best friend that for a moment he was confused. "Um, yes, they're married. Now, I need you to tell me exactly what happened."

Gradually, as Steve made notes and Daniel listened from his vantage point in the hallway the first guard, who had introduced himself as Clinton Knapak, began to speak.

"Frank called us, he was hysterical y'know, said that he'd seen one of the nurses from here being stabbed. Almost everyone answered his call but we was closest and so we just took off. Todd ran round the back of the building and me, I ran down the path and came into the little garden from the front."

Clinton paused and the man Steve now knew as Todd went to continue but paused as Rae entered the room.

"Don't mind me, please just carry on." She sat down quietly on the last remaining chair round the table and smiled encouragingly. Her positive action seemed to help Todd and he began to speak, carrying right on from where his partner had stopped.

"I heard her scream, I was still the other side of the admin building and I raced round …" He paused, his face reflecting the horror he felt as he relived the moments when he saw both Susan and the most wanted man in LA right there in front of him. For a while neither man spoke, and Steve, after letting them gather themselves a little, tried to draw them back into the conversation.

"Look, I know this is hard for you, I also know that you have a real good idea who it was out there. Anything you can give us, anything at all, will help bring this investigation closer to an end. So, take your time, but try to focus on the little things as well as the big, because with your assistance we will get this guy sooner rather than later."

The room was silent, and Daniel took a moment to move into the lounge and sit down again on a more comfortable chair. The words his dad had spoken seemed to be working, both men were looking slightly more relaxed, more in control of the situation, and gradually the guard called Todd began to talk again.

"She was on the ground; there was blood on her back, high up on her back and her feet. He was standing over her, towering over her, although he wasn't that tall. He had her hair in his hand, pulling her off the path with it, like … like a puppet … and the knife, the knife was on her throat." This time he couldn't continue and Clinton began to speak again.

"I yelled at him, 'hey you' or something, I don't know what, and for a moment, he just stood, and then he … he sliced at her hair, and she fell. I guess I stopped, for a second, and he began to run, off towards the road, it's not far from there to the highway, and … well, Todd chased him, but he lost him. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The guy is dangerous, extremely dangerous, and by doing what you did it looks like you saved Nurse Hilliard's life."

"She was conscious, you know, how could she be? I thought for sure she was dead, but she grabbed my hand, held it tight, Clint called the paramedics over, and then she did faint. Her hand just sort of let go of mine and … well, we haven't seen her since."

Steve nodded his head; he would need to speak with the crew who brought her in as well, and the guy who had spotted the attack in the first place. For a moment he looked up and into the eyes of his son, sitting inside the room now, a look of rapt attention on his face and Steve knew that it was going to be a long night for at least one of them.

ooo

The drive to Oak Place had been made in almost total silence. Once or twice Rae had heard Jesse try to stifle a sob, and she had glanced at him, not wanting to embarrass him or make him feel worse, knowing instinctively that he needed to be home first. Rae had left Jesse in the on call room on one of the surgical floors, not wanting him to be somewhere that he could be pressured into coming back to work. By the time the security guards had been interviewed Jesse had been fast asleep and so Rae had spoken to the paramedics as well, while Steve spoke with Frank Marshall.

She had called ahead to let Juan know that they were coming, and was relieved to see the lights all on and the door already open as she pulled up in front of the house. Jesse climbed out of the car, said nothing, but made his way inside, nodding at Juan as he did so. Rae made sure that the car was locked, pocketed her keys and then spoke quietly to the Spanish butler before watching him make his way down the driveway and back to his usual abode.

"Jess?" Her voice echoed around the entrance hall and she listened for a moment hoping that she hadn't woken her eldest daughter. There was no noise to indicate that she had and so, a little more quietly, Rae called his name again.

"In here." The two words were softly and hesitantly spoken, Rae followed them and entered the breakfast room which was still in darkness, and saw her husband, silhouetted by the light shining in through the French doors to the garden, sitting like a small child as far into the corner of the sofa as was possible.

Rae didn't know how to begin, what to say and so instead she sat next to him, carefully took his hand into her own and waited.

"I'm sorry. I stopped you from working; do you want to go back?" He looked at her, the fear in his eyes showing that 'yes' wasn't a viable option right now, not that she would have gone anyway.

"Of course not, what do you think I have Steve for?" She smiled, the love she felt, along with the need to protect and shelter him from the pain he was feeling, causing her to speak lightly to cover her emotions.

"I couldn't do it, I couldn't go operate on her, I was … so … so angry, so … how could someone do that, Rae? You have to catch him." Jesse was on his feet now, having pulled his hand from hers, and she swallowed down the anger she felt towards the man responsible for his comments.

"I know, and we're trying, but it's easier said than done."

"Then it shouldn't be. Talk to her, get all the information you can and then go get him. Please … Rae … go get him."

His anger hadn't lasted long, leaving as quickly as it had arrived, and he flopped back down beside his wife, turning towards her and finally letting the tears fall on her shoulder.

"When … when I saw her … and … I thought she was dead." He stopped, taking a deep breath that hiccupped into a sob causing him to cough, shake and fight for composure and Rae held him, saying nothing for almost five minutes as the tears fell again.

Rae waited, wondering what he was going to say. She knew that he had cared for Susan very much. Their relationship had be stormy but passionate, and she realised just how scared she still was that one day he might leave and return to his first love and his words when he felt he could speak again did nothing to allay her fears.

"Rae, she doesn't have anyone else, will you let me go sit with her?"

Numbly she nodded her head, willing herself to stay calm, to be helpful and supportive, when all she really wanted to do was to scream out NO. The realistic side of her knew that Jesse was just doing what he would for any friend, she knew how kind he was, it was one of the reasons she loved him so much, and it was only natural that he would want to help Susan. The jealous side of her though could think of all sorts of reasons why she should tell him not to go, but she knew that she wouldn't use any of them. Finally, taking a deep breath and finding a smile from somewhere she ran her hand through his tousled hair and kissed him lightly on the temple.

"Not tonight though, you need to sleep, I'll drop you off at the hospital in the morning on my way to work."

"But what if …"

"Jess, no, not tonight, you need a good night's rest. If she doesn't make it you being there or not will have little influence on the outcome. If she does, well then she will know you're there tomorrow, and it'll have been worthwhile."

Jesse nodded, he really was too tired to think about it any longer, his mind was spinning, a quiet evening in the ER discussing pleasant things had turned into a whirlwind of horror. The memories of rushing to save someone, having to do it again as the shock began to take hold, and then, the total inability to operate flooded his mind. He guessed he shouldn't have even considered doing it anyway, but his own reaction hadn't occurred to him and had surprised him with its intensity.

He got to his feet slowly, his entire body felt heavy, almost too heavy to move and he watched Rae make a cursory check of the room, missing Vicki's presence and he wondered how she was getting on.

Rae seemed to sense his thoughts and smiled. "I would imagine that the dinner with her folks is over now. I wonder what they thought of her new boyfriend." Their nanny had asked for an extra two days holiday so that she could introduce her young man to her mom and dad. Rae and Jesse knew how hard she worked, how much she did for them and had been happy to grant her request. After the attack on Rae and Anneya though, they'd had to work hard to persuade her to continue with her vacation plans and both of them hoped that she was having a good time.

Once the checks were done, the two of them climbed the stairs together and made their way into their suite of rooms via the nursery to check on their daughters. Both little girls were fast asleep, their innocence shining brightly as they dreamt.

ooo

Rae stood in the shower for longer than usual letting the water beat down comfortingly on her body. She had insisted that Jesse wash first, knowing that he was exhausted and needed his rest more than she.

He hadn't argued, just nodded his head before leaving his clothes in a pile next to the laundry basket and disappearing into the bathroom. She had tidied up after him with a tolerant smile, turned the bed down, and written _I love you_ on a small piece of paper that she left on his pillow. The same note had moved across the bed by the time she returned. The addition of three kisses and a little heart made her smile and she looked over at her husband as she began to pull open the drawer with her nightwear in.

"No, Rae, don't." The words, spoken with a longing and insistence, which thrilled her, caused her body to respond and she turned and climbed into bed, moving closer to him as she did so.

"It's you I love, you I need, always, Rae, always." His lips found hers then, and as his fingers began to move gently across her back she let her jealousy and uncertainty dissolve as she melted into his embrace.

ooo

The alarm ringing relentlessly next to him made Daniel groan and put his head under the pillow. Still he could hear it, its volume getting louder the longer he let it go unanswered. Finally, getting out of bed and moving across to his desk, he thumped it, hard, and silence returned.

"It's your own fault, if you put it by the bed you wouldn't have to get up to switch it off, but if you put it by your bed you wouldn't get up!" Daniel shook his head, now he was talking to himself, tired **_and_** crazy, what a great way to start a Thursday.

By the time he got downstairs he was at least awake, and seeing both his mom and dad at the breakfast table again, as well as his Uncle David was enough to make him smile broadly as he said his good mornings.

"Your Daddy told me that he was mighty proud of you last night." Jo smiled back at her eldest son, she had neglected him since Jayden had been born and was glad that he had been able to remain with Steve as long as he had.

For a moment Daniel was silent, but then he looked at his parents. "I never really thought about all the work that goes into a case, y'know. I wondered why you would get Grandpa or Jesse to help sometimes. But last night, just in that one place, you had five people to speak with, and everyone had something different to say, a different perspective to put on things."

Steve had been nodding his head, delighted at the interest that Daniel was taking, but also pleased that he seemed to see a slightly bigger picture than most people and then his son spoke again.

"Still, it was a shame that I didn't see you pull your gun, slam someone to the floor and then arrest them. That's what you usually do, isn't it?" Hoping that his dad wouldn't see Daniel stole a glance at his mom, his grin telling her that he was joking.

He was about to reply, to tell his son that police work was ninety percent paper work and leg work when he saw the glint in his eye, the amusement on his face and that of his mom and he put his head back and laughed, "Ok, you got me."

David had been watching, enjoying the family life that his sister had without saying a word. He'd thought that when he married Debbie and they had their child that he was settled for life. He had a woman he loved dearly; a beautiful daughter and then it all disappeared. He had received mail that morning, not that anyone else knew yet, and it just added another layer to his mountain of problems, and he knew that this time it could cost him millions.

ooo

The trip back to his apartment had been fraught with dangers, both real and imaginary. Every car that passed him, every person on the sidewalk, seemed to be looking at him. He had blood on his shirt, his jeans too were soaked with it, but he couldn't change, couldn't get rid of any of it until he got home. In the end he had found a dark but empty alleyway and waited there until the cars and pedestrians had thinned to a trickle before he made his way, hugging the buildings and staying away from street lights, home.

The hair, at least he had some of her hair, and the time spent brushing it lovingly, fixing it with a barrette and putting her name on it, had calmed him enough that he could think what to do next.

All night part of him had waited for the bang to come on the door, the cuffs to click around his wrists, but nothing. There was never any sound in his hallway anyway, but somehow it seemed even quieter than usual.

As the sun came up he had finally dropped off to sleep on the sofa, the hair now in its space in the third bedroom, the photos too up on the wall, and he felt more at peace. She might be dead, she might not, and that was causing an ache inside him that wouldn't go away, but from the recognition point of things, well, he would never look like Nika ever again, he had no need to worry. He knew though, that he would need to keep a low profile, at least for a week or so, but now that he had Susan's hair, Susan's picture to keep him company he was sure he could do that.

ooo

Rae had arrived at the station a little after a quarter to nine. Eliana and Anneya were with Sally and she had dropped Jesse off at the hospital, his car still being there from the night before. The plan for her to spend the Thursday at home had been shelved as soon as Susan had been attacked. Anneya, still silent and scared, had been tearful in the car but Sally had cuddled her close, stroking her hair and then introduced her to the new baby again, even though they had met before. Gradually, over the course of ten minutes or so, the little girl had begun to relax, picking up toys, putting them back down, until she found a wooden train set. The engine was attached to four open carriages, each one with two different shapes cut inside it, and there were eight passengers and a driver, with corresponding shapes as their base, all of them had to be fitted into the right places. Anneya, as always nowadays, in her silent world, sat on the carpet and began sorting the little men out. Rae had taken that opportunity to leave. Eliana was already mothering the baby and Sally, nodding her approval, watched as Rae slipped off to work, knowing that her children were both safe and happy for as long as she needed to be away from them.

She smiled as she drank her coffee, thinking back to the previous evening. Rae knew that Jesse's lovemaking had been the result of an almost primal need to regain control of his life, but she had needed it too, needed to hear him tell her that she was the most important woman in his life, and now, even though she was still worried about him, about Susan, and about them being together, she felt confident that he would remain with her.

A copy of the interview notes from the previous evening was on the desk in front of her and, looking around, Rae tried to catch sight of her partner. He was easily spotted talking intently with the Captain and so she picked up the first sheet trying to concentrate on that, all the while wondering what it was they were talking about.

The piece of paper just told her that Mark, Amanda and Ron were coming to Beverly Hills on the Friday evening to discuss the Red Rose killings, and he would like both Jesse and herself to join them too. She made a note in her diary and then began to read through the other pages. Steve's notes, as she would expect, were detailed and comprehensive. As she read them she sympathized with the guards who had witnessed the attack and found Susan, and marvelled at the level headedness of the paramedics who had got her to the ER in record time keeping her as stable as was possible in the process.

One of the things that Rae did want, however, wasn't there and so, picking up the phone, she dialed the familiar number and then waited for the main switchboard to answer her call.

"Hi, this is Detective Yeager, LAPD, North Hollywood Precinct, could I speak with Frank Marshall please?"

The line went silent for a moment or two and then she heard a voice in her ear.

_"This is Frank Marshall."_

"Hi, Mr. Marshall, this is Detective Yeager, I'm sorry we didn't get to meet yesterday, but I wonder if you could do me a favour."

_"Sure, Detective, if I can."_ The voice on the other end of the line sounded a little surprised, and Rae had to smile.

"What I need is a map of the hospital and grounds, especially the grounds, with all the security cameras and the areas they cover highlighted on it. Do you think you could provide me with one?"

_"Um, yeah, I guess so. I'll need to speak with my superior first. Can I call you back?"_

Rae sighed; she wanted to get things done quickly, but she guessed that the man just wanted to protect his own position.

_"Detective?"_

"Yeah, sorry. Ok. Call me back, and then I'll get a black and white to come over and pick it up."

_"Are you on the same number as Lieutenant Sloan?"_

"Yes, that's right; I'll talk to you soon." Rae heard the man bid her goodbye and then, unable to take the investigation in the direction she wanted Rae wandered over to where Cheryl was sitting and an idea suddenly flitted through her mind.

"Hi, how's it going?" Cheryl heard Rae's voice and looked up; she had been so busy lately, at work and home, that she and her friend had very little time to talk.

"Not bad, well, not bad for here that is." Cheryl looked down and groaned as she saw her covered desk.

"What are you working on?" Rae was curious, there seemed to be a lot of different folders in front of the other cop.

"Don't ask!" This time Cheryl rolled her eyes and heard her friend laugh. "I'm having a cold case morning, and right now I'd rather be anywhere but here. These old cases always make me feel such a failure. All the successes seem to fade away as soon as I start to look at the ones I haven't solved."

"Well, I could take your mind off them for just a minute, if you would like."

"Sure, what is it you want?" Cheryl smiled and took a drink of coffee as she relaxed back in her chair to listen to what Rae had to say.

"Did you hear what happened to Anneya and me on Tuesday?"

"Yeah, I did, are you both ok? I'm sorry, I should have asked."

Rae waved her apology away with her hand and then began to talk again. "He knew who I was, knew who Texas was. Cheryl, have you or Martin seen anyone hanging around?"

Cheryl shook her head. "We can't see the road from our place, but I'll ask Martin if he's seen anything when he's been doing yard work. One of the things about Oak Place though, is that somehow it's easier to see in from the road than it is to see out from the house, if you get what I mean."

"Yeah I do. I guess it's because you have the opportunity for a full vision splay from outside, whereas inside the windows prevent you seeing round corners."

"What did the guy look like?" Cheryl was worried when she saw Rae look away. "Rae?"

"I … I don't know. I was so scared, scared for my baby, scared for me. All I could think of was keeping Anneya safe, and then … then when I was shot, I couldn't think about anything but being shot. I have no idea what he looked like. I think he was taller than me, mainly because most people are, but also, the gun was flat on my neck, which would mean he didn't have a problem holding it there, and … and when he hit me, well, if he was shorter than me, he wouldn't have been able to do that, would he?" Rae had sat down as she spoke, and looked up in surprise as she felt Cheryl's hand cover her own.

"Rae, your instincts took over, you're a mom, of course you would protect your child first, and it's not that long since you were injured, it will still be at the front of your mind." Cheryl paused for a moment thinking of something else she could ask which, hopefully wouldn't upset her friend quite so much. "If you don't know what he looked like, how about sound? What sort of accent did he have?"

"Texan, a deep voice, and the accent was very strong. Stronger than Texas's, and … I don't know, maybe slightly different too, as if it was from a different part of the same area." Rae looked at Cheryl, not sure if what she said made sense, but Texas, the state, was so big that she imagined that people from one end of it would sound totally different to those from the other.

"Ok, so Texan, male, probably taller than you, anything else."

"His name is Wayne McCaulay and he used to be a cop."

"How do you know that?" Cheryl looked astounded. She hadn't asked for the guy's name because it hadn't occurred to her that Rae would know it.

"He's been targeting Texas for a while, and he told Jesse who he was and what he had done."

This time Cheryl smiled, a beautiful smile that lit up her whole face. "Oh I love it. He is so confident he's bound to fall. Do you know who's dealing with this?"

"Yeah, someone at the Beverly Hills PD. Why? Are your fingers itching?"

"Oh yeah, they sure are. I'll talk with Martin, and I'm gonna look this guy up; get me a picture and description. I know he might have changed but it's a start."

"And your cold cases?" Rae looked at the discarded and forgotten folders on Cheryl's desk and heard her groan.

"Oh that's it, ruin my day! Thirty minutes, I've earned thirty minutes off, then I'll go back to people like Marmaduke Fox and try and work out who killed him. Deal?"

"Deal." Rae smiled, as she did so her phone rang and she made her way back to her desk, her own few minutes rest already over.

ooo

Mark walked slowly down the hallway of the ICU until he got to the room he was looking for. It wasn't hard to spot, there were two cops standing one either side of the doorway. Stopping for a moment he showed his ID to the slightly less menacing of the two and then waited for his name to be checked on the list.

"Ok, Doctor Sloan, that's fine, you can go on in."

"Thank you." Mark could see the reason for his visit sitting, slightly hunched up, next to the bed. "Jesse?"

"Oh, hi, Mark."

"How is she?" He picked up the chart from the end of the bed, perusing it as he spoke. The details showed the injuries that Susan had received, the treatment she'd had both for the stab wounds and the shock as well as the medication that was being given to her.

"Ok, she's stable now. Her vital signs are good. She was lucky, Mark, physically she's gonna be fine, but mentally, it will take a lot of work I think."

He nodded; knowing that what Jesse was saying was very true. "Jess, I got in touch with her husband, he's flying over."

"Her husband? I thought they were divorced." Jesse looked up in shock.

"No, I checked her records, he's down as her next of kin, and he told me that although they are separated he had hoped that once she had been apart from him for a while that they would get back together again."

"Oh." Jesse didn't know what else to say. He wasn't interested in a relationship with Susan, but she had been injured while on a date, she had gone to the movies with him, and he was sure that she hadn't been home alone all the time between the two. But he was glad that her husband was coming, he knew how much he had needed to see Rae when he had been injured, at first that was, and he hoped that she would feel that way too.

"How long will it take him to get here?"

"About twenty, twenty-two hours, depending on customs. He has to change in London." Mark checked the time on his watch. "I would imagine that he'll be at the hospital in the morning."

"I'm off tomorrow, I was gonna come back and sit with her, but I'll stay away, help Rae find the monster that did this to her."

"That's a good idea, I'm going over to Steve's tomorrow night, review what he has so far. I'm guessing that you and Rae will be invited, Amanda and Ron as well."

Jesse smiled, just like the old days; the days that he still missed, but understood now were gone forever. Ron, Jo, Rae, they were added extras, they all brought something new to the mix, more experience, a different perspective, individual expertise, and he knew that, as a team, they were stronger for their presence.

ooo

By the time the morning was over Rae was beginning to feel disillusioned. Cheryl's mood had been catching and she had sat, going over page after page of notes, looking but not seeing, until in the end she had left her desk and gone for a walk down to the front desk and then out into the early afternoon sunlight.

Something was going on with Steve, she didn't know what it was, but he and the captain had been holed up together for the entire day, and that was almost unheard of when a case of the Red Rose Killer's enormity was making headlines. She had seen them look over at her more than once during their meeting and was beginning to feel that her life was being planned without her permission.

Rae moved over to where her car was parked, switched off the alarm, and leant up against it. The sun was warm on her face, and she closed her eyes and let the world slip away, just for a moment. In three weeks time she would have been a police officer for twenty years and, in the occasional quiet moment, had begun to question whether she really wanted to work at the same job for another twenty.

Days like today, when she was forced to go over and over murders committed by one person sure in the knowledge that they had absolutely no idea where he was, made her wonder if she would actually last the three weeks, let alone keep going until she retired. Her time in Los Angeles had been challenging from the start, but it had also been wonderful, happy, fulfilling, as well as terrifying and deadly too. She knew that, overall, she wouldn't change her life so far, but wondered whether, if she didn't consider the possibility of change in the future, she would still feel that way in one, two, maybe five years from now.

With a groan she pushed herself up off her car, reset the alarm and then made her way back inside. Tomorrow she and Jesse would have time to spend with their daughters, Anneya had a party to attend in the afternoon, and she was planning to take them out for the day on Saturday, maybe to Malibu, so they could see Mark and Alex, and then to Ben and Jerry's for ice cream before they headed home again. The thought of two days spent with her family cheered Rae considerably and, with a lighter step, she made her way back inside to do her job to the best of her ability for the remainder of her shift.


	20. Chapter 20

20 **The Future Beckons …**

Steve had finally left the Captain's office just as Rae came back into the squad room. It was almost as if he had been waiting for her to reappear before he did so.

"Hi, stranger, I thought you were gonna stay in there all day." Rae smiled, she missed her partner's company when he wasn't around, but when he was around and she still couldn't talk to him somehow it was worse.

"Sorry, I had a lot of things to discuss. Look, Rae, can we go somewhere and talk?" Steve put his hand on her back, gently guiding her towards the interrogation suite that was at the back of their squad room.

"Um, yeah, sure. Is there something the matter?" Rae looked into her friend's face, but she couldn't read him, he didn't look upset, anxious, in fact he just looked his normal self, and so, without another word, she let herself be lead carefully to where Steve wanted her to be.

"Sit down, Rae." She did as she was told instantly, even more concerned now than she had been, and watched as Steve made himself comfortable sitting on the corner of the table.

"I've been reassigned."

"What?" She knew what that meant, but she didn't understand. How could he be reassigned? "Steve … what? How can that be?"

"I took the Captains exam. I didn't tell you because … well … I didn't tell you in case I failed." The smile was one that showed his embarrassment.

"But you didn't fail did you?" Rae was smiling now, despite herself, she was so pleased for him, for his family but, she had to admit, not for herself.

"No, I didn't, I was in the top three percent, which means I was one of the first to be chosen … and I start in three weeks at Wilshire."

"Oh." Three weeks, that was no time at all. For a moment she wasn't able to meet his eyes, knowing that her dismay would show. She schooled her features until she hoped that she looked happy for him and then spoke again. "Congratulations, Captain. You will do a wonderful job. Of course, you'll have to take up golf!"

"Ha, ha." Steve pulled a face. Somehow he didn't see himself on the first tee in strange trousers about to ruin a good walk by hitting a little white ball into long grass. "I don't think so."

Rae had a hold of herself now; she stood up, moved over towards him and, hoping that no one could see her, gently kissed his cheek. "I'll miss you, but I couldn't have had a better teacher. Thank you, Captain Steve Sloan. Wilshire is lucky to have you."

The words, so obviously heartfelt, made Steve feel as if he was glowing and, for a moment, he bathed in their kindness before taking a deep breath and smiling at her.

"I'll miss you too, but only if you turn me down."

"Turn you down? I don't know what you mean."

Steve smiled again, this time a little more broadly and then indicated with his hand that he wanted her to sit back down. When she had done so, his heart beating loud enough he was sure for her to hear, he began to speak again.

"There's quite a lot of restructuring going on at Wilshire. The captain is moving up to be the Assistant Commander of the West Bureau, so effectively will be my boss, and he's taking his Lieutenant from Homicide with him. Rae, I want you to come and take that position on. I hire and fire and I know you're the best person for the job. It was advertised internally and on the net, no one suitable came forward." He paused, looking at her, but not seeing anything, neither excitement nor despair. "What do you think?"

She had no idea what to say, it didn't happen very often, but Rae was speechless.

"Rae?" The concern in his voice was reflected in his face, and he was hesitant as he spoke again. "You … your name is on the promotions list, you're a detective sergeant, the next step is lieutenant, but you knew it probably wouldn't be here."

"Yeah, I did, and yes I am and I know that. But, Steve, what about Cheryl? She's a good cop, she's been here longer than I have, if I come with you, well it's not nepotism, but it's pretty close."

"Rae, if there hadn't already been interviews, and advertisements I wouldn't have done it this way, instead I would have just tried to persuade you to apply and then take your chances with the rest. It's a nice station, I've been there before, and I have to go over next week to start making arrangements for my transfer. Besides, I kind of need your help on something."

"Oh yeah? Want me to tidy your desk for you? Keep your room spic and span? Type up your reports?" Rae laughed, this was more like it, relaxed, she could deal with relaxed, when the banter was back in their lives, but the seriousness of the situation was still very apparent to her.

"Well, that would all be great, but … I know Newman doesn't do it, but the captain at Wilshire sends out a newsletter, every month!" The look of horror on his face was almost too much for Rae and she had to laugh again.

"Awww, poor baby, but won't you have a secretary to do all that for you?"

"Probably, but I'd rather it was you." The tone was serious again now, and he stared at her, waiting for an answer.

Again she smiled, thinking over what he had said. He would be moving in three weeks, it was her anniversary in three weeks. _Twenty years,_ when Steve moved stations she would have been a cop for twenty years; maybe it was a good way to finish her career. A lieutenant, one of her best friends as her Captain, at least for a while, but she would need to talk it over with Jesse first.

"Rae?" He didn't know what else to say, he had laid his cards on the table, or as many of them as he dared. She knew how he was about exposing his feelings and thoughts to others, but he really did want her to move with him, and he hadn't been lying when he'd said she was the best person for the job.

"Steve, I can't make a decision just like that, you know I can't. Besides, I have to discuss it with Jesse. I realise there's more responsibility, more money, maybe a little less risk, but there are other things to look at too." She saw him nod, and realised that he had been stilling himself for her refusal.

"I'll talk about it with him tonight, I promise. I won't leave you hanging."

"And let me know on Friday night? You are coming, aren't you?"

"Can you see Jesse letting us stay home?" Rae watched him shake his head, "Me either, but Vicki is away, can the girls sleep in the nursery? I know Damita is there, but that would be ok, wouldn't it?"

"Of course. Rae, if you decide not to take me up on my offer, promise me something."

"Depends what it is."

"Typical cop! Promise me that when the vacancy for lieutenant is advertised here, that you'll go for it. Newman doesn't want to lose you. It took me a long time to persuade him to even let me ask you about this. And I can't think of anyone other than you or Cheryl who I would want to replace me."

This time she blushed. It was one thing to be asked to move with him, to take on a new position in a new station, but to be entrusted with taking over his own job, which he had always carried out with the utmost professionalism, well that was another thing altogether, and she was immensely flattered.

ooo

It was almost one in the afternoon before Jesse felt Susan move beneath his hand. She groaned and slowly blinked her eyes, gradually focussing on Jesse and smiling slightly.

"Hi." Her voice was raspy and faint and before answering Jesse carefully spooned some ice chips onto her tongue.

"Hi, yourself, shhh, take it easy." Jesse watched her try to move more of herself than just a hand and then saw the pain as it crossed her face.

"Jesse?" It was clear that she had no idea how she had ended up in an ICU bed, and Jesse knew now wasn't the time to tell her.

"It's ok. Just close your eyes, rest for a while. I'll still be here." He watched her do as he told her, but then suddenly Susan gripped his hand tightly and he knew that she had remembered.

"Oh … Jesse."

"Shhh, come on, doctor's orders, take it slowly, just breathe, that's it." Jesse was checking the monitors as he spoke, watching the readings, knowing that the possibility of Susan going into severe shock was still a risk and was one of the main reasons why she was in the ICU in the first place. He could see where her hair was short and hacked off on the side of her head; there was a small puncture wound on her neck, which, Jesse knew, was from the knife that had been held there ready to slit her throat. The wound on her back had been viciously deep but was now stitched and dressed as were her feet. Her skin, usually so flawless and beautiful, was pale and he wondered whether she would ever get her confidence and poise back.

"Rae?" The one word hung between them, and for a moment Jesse didn't know what she meant.

"She knows I'm here, I didn't want you to wake up alone."

"Thank … you … but … Rae … need to … speak … with her." Susan's voice although broken and still faint was insistent and Jesse nodded his head.

"I'll go call her. But I'll be right back, ok?" He saw her nod and wince as he made his way quickly out into the hallway. To use his cell phone he would need to leave the unit, he didn't want to do that and so he walked to the nurses' station, asked the young woman on duty there to contact Alex and tell him that Susan was awake and then, using the phone on the desk, put a call through to his wife's number.

ooo

Belinda had come and spoken to Jo as she sat with Jayden in her arms just looking up at her almost in awe. The telephone message from her butler had been relayed to her and an hour later Jayden was fast asleep in his isolette once more and she was being driven home.

Jo climbed gingerly out of the car and watched as Juan parked it in the garage. It was a little after one thirty and they had arrived back in time for a late lunch but, as Juan opened the door and let her in first, she saw and heard the sounds of the unexpected visitor which had prompted her early arrival home from the hospital.

"Don't tell me when I can't come to see you, I want to know when I can … Yes, an' I want to make sure that the investments an' interests in California are covered as well … that's more like it, I will see you at nine fifteen in the mornin' … I am never late when money is concerned … good day to you too." The phone was put down and Debbie turned. "Well, Jo, darlin' it is just so good to see you." The words and tone were friendly, although Jo didn't believe a word of it. Before she could even think of a reply however, a yappy sound was heard.

"Daisy, where's Mommy's little Daisy Waisy then?" Debbie crouched down and made strange kissy noises as a small white fluffy animal rushed towards her.

"What is that rat doin' in my house?" Jo couldn't help herself, she was dismayed to see her sister-in-law so unexpectedly, and now it appeared that she didn't travel alone.

"Jo, Honey, I'm sorry, I didn't know she was comin' or I would have told you." David stepped forward, ignoring the dog and his wife. He had told his sister that he'd received details of his divorce proceedings in the mail that morning along with various other forms including child custody papers and Jo guessed the visit had something to do with that.

"Jo, as a mom I know you can understand. I came to take my chil' back home to Texas. An' I'm tellin' you straight, David, there is no way she will be livin' with you." Her focus, expression and tone changed as Debbie switched her gaze from Jo to her husband. "You are workin' every day, she needs someone with her all the time, an' that someone will be her momma." Debbie had stood back up, but now held her dog in her arms.

"Jo, would you excuse us for a moment?" David looked at his sister, knowing that the last person she would want in her home was his wife, estranged or otherwise, and was relieved to see her nod.

"Of course, but that … that creature goes out in the yard." Jo looked down in distain, as the pet wriggled out of Debbie's arms, but had to admit that the little thing was quite cute, in a doggy sort of way. She didn't like her sister-in-law, but was prepared to have her in the house so that she and David could discuss things, but to bring a dog without asking, that was plain rude, and Steve would have a fit.

Juan came forward to pick up the small animal and suddenly Jo softened her attitude just a little. "Put him in the laundry room, an' make sure he has some water to drink."

"Yes, Madam." Juan moved away, the white head of the dog peeking over his shoulder and Jo had to laugh. He was a very upright, very proper man, just as Michael had been, and somehow the dog didn't aid the image.

"David, you an' Debbie can use the library; you won't be disturbed because Daniel doesn't ever go in there."

With school being out for the summer, her son had spent the morning riding with Maddie, but he had called on his cell phone, reaching his mom in the car to say he would be returning for the afternoon and, hearing that she was returning home too, suggested they went back to see Jayden together after lunch.

David just nodded his head and then made his way past the white leather sofa where Debbie appeared to have left two cases leaning against the front and a dog carrier next to them.

Jo watched the door to the library open and then close as immediately the argument began again.

"Just what makes you think I will give up my daughter to you?"

"Your daughter? I didn't see anythin' of you while I was in labour, you weren't there when she was born, an' you've been in the office more often than not ever since. You may be wealthy, David Walters, but I'm not frightened of you or your lawyers."

Jo walked away; the personal arguments didn't interest her although she had to admit that she hoped that her brother, rather than her sister-in-law, would bring up Damita. She knew that Debbie had something to do with the credit card incident as well as the money embezzled from the company; she just wasn't sure how to prove it but, seeing that morning's mail on the table by the front door, an idea began to form.

ooo

There was a message from Jesse on her desk when Rae finished speaking with Steve. She was surprised at the relief she felt at being able to leave the station for a while and, stopping only to tell her partner where she was going, and to discourage him from coming with her, Rae made her way to the dark red car waiting for her in the parking lot.

If she was honest Rae still missed Tom. The little Beetle had been a great car for driving around town in, but the Cruiser Jesse had bought her for Christmas was far more suitable for a family and it was fun to drive.

Pulling out into traffic Rae found her mind full of what Steve had just told her, and she began to try and see the pros and cons of taking him up on his offer.

A lot had happened to her since she had moved to LA, things that never in a million years would she ever have imagined. Even if she disregarded all the bad things, which she didn't, although she did try not to dwell on them, her life had still been amazing. So far she had married a man she met on her first day at work, had two more children, bringing her total to five, and become best friends with one of the richest women in the country. She had lived in four different homes; five if you included the nights spent at the beach house and was now a permanent resident of Beverly Hills!

What she hadn't done was change jobs or work partners. Her uncertainty, something that she would never have admitted to, had dissipated quickly once she met Steve. He had put her at ease, and now she couldn't imagine her working life without him in it. Rae knew that she had the chance to carry on being a cop with Steve close at hand, but once he left North Hollywood, whether she went with him or not, never again would they be partners.

The traffic in front of her slowed to a crawl and Rae sighed. The journey to Community General was going to take longer than she thought, but maybe that was just as well. Rae pictured the other cops in her division, many she had nothing very much to do with apart from general banter and chatter by the coffee machine, but three of them, Chapman, Yip, and Cheryl, of course, she knew well but, apart from her near neighbour, they were just work friendships. It took a while to feel confident with a new partner; Rae knew that Cheryl would watch her back, just as she would do hers, but with anyone else she would have to learn to trust all over again and that was hard.

"Oh, come on, I only have four hours of my shift left you know!" Rae shouted at the now non-moving traffic queued up in front of her and then laughed. The man in the car next to her was slamming his hand down on the steering wheel and she guessed she wasn't the only one feeling frustrated.

ooo

Jo and Daniel had eaten their late lunch together to the accompaniment of varying degrees of noise from the library. Sometimes the volume rose so loud that every word was clear, others there were just the soft muffled sounds of two voices. Finally, after a particularly strident exchange, the door opened, David came out and slammed it behind him. Looking at her son, indicating that he should say nothing, Jo got to her feet and moved carefully across to where the tall man stood, leaning against the banister, breathing hard.

"David, come an' sit down. You probably don't feel like eatin' anythin' right now, but maybe a drink, coffee, tea?"

"Thank you, Juan made me a sandwich before he came to pick you up so I have eaten somethin'. How is Jayden? I didn't even ask."

Jo's face broke into a smile despite the situation. "He is doin' just fine. We were havin' us a nice cuddle when I got your message, an' because Juan came to get me I was able to carry on until he fell asleep an' then come home."

"Good, I'm glad that I didn't spoil things for you until you got here. I'm sorry, Jo, but I didn't even know she was comin' but she's my wife, I couldn't leave her on the step."

"No, you couldn't, an' it's fine. You need to get things sorted out. Daniel an' I are gonna go back to see Jayden again this afternoon, an' I need to speak with Michael as well. I had a thought too. The day that the letter was sent authorizin' the bank payments, was Debbie in the buildin' at all? You keep a record of everyone who comes in an' out of the place. Has that been checked?"

"I don't know. But it certainly hasn't by me. I'll get on to the security people this afternoon an' see what they have to say about it. They can send me a copy of the relevant pages here, can't they?"

"Sure, darlin', we have fax, e-mail, anythin' you want. Just let Juan know an' he'll deal with it."

After that they sat in silence for a while, Debbie had been seen leaving the library and then telling them that she would be staying at the hotel at the end of the street if someone would arrange for her and her bags to be taken there by cab.

It wasn't until she had been gone over a half hour that Jo realised the dog was still with them.

ooo

Rae parked in a space just three vehicles down from where Jesse had left his car and made her way into the hospital. The pros and cons of a transfer were still going around in her brain. She had moved on from just thinking about her life since she had left London and was now trying to work out how she would feel being in North Hollywood without Steve, how she would feel going to work every day knowing that she would be entrusting her safety to maybe a total stranger, how she would feel not having him nearby.

She had realised that how she would feel was the same in all instances, not good. The station would be empty without him, she didn't think she could start again at North Hollywood with a new partner, and she would miss him, terribly.

Rae suddenly realised how Jesse must have felt when she barged her way into their lives. Seeing his friend move away by not sharing his cases as much as he used to with him, but sharing them completely with her, and she turned her walk into a jog as she felt the need to get to her husband, to hold him, hug him and tell him that, finally, she understood.

The journey up to the ICU was soon over, it was one she had made many times, sometimes consciously, sometimes not, and as the elevator doors opened she saw him, standing in the hallway waiting for her and she moved towards him quickly.

"Hi."

"Rae?" He knew, instantly, that something was wrong, or maybe not wrong, but definitely different. "What is it?"

"Nothing, not for now anyway, but I'm sorry, Jesse, sorry for being inconsiderate, and not understanding your feelings. Truly sorry." She kissed him then, gently on the cheek, but he felt almost as if she had kissed all the breath out of him.

"We'll talk, but, Susan?" He didn't know what else to say, he knew somehow that whatever it was they needed to discuss wouldn't harm them in any way and he was, for the moment, content with that.

"Will you come in? Listen too?" Rae looked into his eyes, as he nodded his agreement, she wanted him with her, not only because, finally, she was able to share, but also because she knew that the chances of Susan becoming upset and maybe going into shock again were great.

Alex was just coming out of the ICU room as Rae and Jesse arrived outside it and he smiled at them.

"Hi, guys, Susan's awake, she's desperate to talk with you, Rae, but you know that it'll upset and distress her. Do you want me to stay?"

Rae smiled at him. "No, thank you, Alex, Jesse is going to come in with me, but we'll report back to you, let you know how she reacted." Rae knew that Alex had been in the operating theatre with Susan and that Jesse had handed her care over to him.

With that the three friends parted company, Alex going back to catch up on paperwork, while Rae and Jesse went in to speak with the only living witness of the Red Rose Killer.

ooo

Martin stopped his weeding and watched as a cab drew up in front of the gate. The man leant his head out of the window and yelled at him. "What number is this?"

"Three, Five, Eight." Martin stood up and spoke slowly but clearly and the driver raised his hand in thanks before moving far slower along the road. The ex-detective, his curiosity rising, moved the few feet which took him to the end of the long driveway and looked towards where he knew Steve Sloan lived.

The cab had stopped again and, as he stood there, Martin saw the Spanish butler, whose name he could never remember, bringing two cases out and then putting them into the trunk of the vehicle. A very blonde and beautiful woman walked out behind him and then, without a word, climbed into the back seat and slammed the door. He had seen her before, he knew that, not for a while, maybe a week or so, but time sometimes ran away from him these days and he couldn't be certain exactly when it was.

Martin got very frustrated with himself when his memory let him down. He knew that the woman had something to do with the phone call he had received from Cheryl that morning about a man parked in the street who had hurt Rae, what he didn't know was how.

ooo

The first few minutes that Rae had spent with Susan had been almost silent, but now, gradually, the traumatized woman in front of her was getting herself together ready to speak. Rae could see the effort that it was taking and she sat down and took Susan's hand into her own.

"Susan, I know I'm here to listen to what you have to say to me, but just for a minute let me turn the whole thing around." Still there was silence, but Rae could tell that Susan was waiting for her to continue and so, taking a deep breath, she began to tell more than she thought she ever would to Jesse's ex-love. "I've been in a similar position to you; I was stalked, attacked and found myself in here. It really does help to talk about it, to share what happened with someone else, even if that someone else is a cop." The animosity that Rae had felt for Susan seemed to have left her; the jealousy that she knew had been simmering away for a long while was no longer there. All she saw was a very frightened and troubled victim that she knew she could help.

"What did I do wrong? All I wanted was a good time, a no strings attached date after I … after …" Susan stopped talking, realising that 'after I stopped chasing Jesse' wasn't the thing to say.

"Susan, this isn't your fault. I don't know you well, but I do know that you are a sensible, responsible, young woman. You weren't asked out for what you did or didn't do, but because of what you look like." Susan didn't appear convinced, in fact in her distraught state it was hard to tell how she was looking, and so Rae answered her question, deciding that it would be best to give Susan what she wanted, and then see what happened.

"Did you tell him you lived alone?" Rae saw her shake her head, "Did you lead him on, or give out any personal information before you had your date?" Still Susan was shaking her head. "Well then, normally, on a first date, you would have been fine, but this guy, he seems to be able to work round any and all precautions to get to his victims."

"I … I didn't have anyone to tell where I was going, but I met a doctor on my way to the movies, so I told him." Susan began to shake again, "I'm sorry, I … I thought I was gonna die." Tears flooded her eyes, and Jesse, his heart breaking for her, looked at his wife for a moment before taking her into his arms and gently holding her.

Gradually, once again, Susan pulled herself together and began to talk. Rae listened as she described the meal they'd had, how Dominic had talked about his early life, about being fostered, never settled, how his mom had died, and she began to see some glimmers of light as to why he was killing these women.

"He said that he had been left again, left over and over and that then … that someone in New York had left him, but that she would never do that another time. He … he called me Sara, I told you before, but it was more than that, he didn't seem to even see me as he did it, it was as if he was seeing her, this Sara, but then he said that he didn't have her hair, but he would have mine, that was me, he was talking to me then, almost as if he could go back and forward between the two."

For a moment she paused once more and then she spoke again. "I heard someone call out and then he … he sliced at my hair, but before he did that, it was almost as if the voices brought him back to reality, he jumped, jerked me backwards and then he cut off the …" She reached up to touch where her long blond hair had been, "then he ran." Her eyes were haunted now, her breathing ragged, but a look in Jesse's direction told Rae that she could continue a little longer.

"Susan, what I really want from you is what he looked like, I know you told me about the dark hair, the glasses and the beard, but all those things can be changed. What about his build? How tall he was, did he have any distinguishing features that he couldn't change? A lisp maybe, or a strong accent, anything, anything at all." Rae didn't want to sound desperate, even though, at this stage of the proceedings, that is exactly what she was.

It was clear now that Susan was able to think rationally about the questions Rae had posed. Jesse moved a little further away from her and his hand found that of his wife's. "She's doing ok, isn't she?"

"Great, it's hard, Jess, but she has given me a lot to go on."

"I have?" Susan looked up from where her eyes had been concentrating on her fingers pulling and twisting the bed sheet as she tried to picture the face of her attacker without panicking.

"I think I have an idea why he is doing this, an accurate idea, which I didn't have before, and, I'm gonna probably upset you and I'm sorry, but now I know what order he does things in. How he treats his victims. We didn't really know before."

"Oh. I'm … I'm glad."

Rae noticed that her witness was having a problem keeping her eyes open, and so quietly she stood up and then moved a little closer. "Susan, we've been talking for a long while, and we're going to get the look from Jesse if we don't stop soon."

Rae wasn't trying to become friends with her witness, but she did want to reduce the animosity between them. They would have to spend a lot of time together if Dominic was ever caught, and it would be a far more productive time if they didn't perceive each other as a threat or hostile.

"I haven't answered your question yet, can I think about it and then speak to you again tomorrow?"

"Of course, but I'm not working tomorrow or Saturday, how about I come in on Sunday? You need to rest, we can talk then."

A slight nod was all that Susan was capable of now she had, effectively, been given permission to go to sleep and so after Jesse had kissed her on the cheek the two of them went in search of Alex and left her to get the rest she so badly needed.


	21. Chapter 21

**21 …But Fate Takes a Hand**

The weather was supposed to become stormy but that Friday morning it was still beautiful and Rae and Jesse had taken everything outside so that they could spend their time together in the backyard. Susan's husband was due to arrive that morning and, as Jesse had discovered that she'd had a restless night and had to be sedated when he called, he had decided to stay home. The girls could play in the sand and on their toys and, as there was no breeze to speak of, Rae would work while Jesse, who had volunteered to read through Albert's journal, could enjoy the sunshine as he undertook his task.

Anneya was going to a birthday party in the afternoon; the first one she had ever been invited to without her sister, and both Rae and Jesse knew that she was, in her quiet way, despite her recent ordeal, very excited about it.

The large, oval, dark wood table which sat on the patio with a bottle green umbrella through the middle to protect its occupants from the California sun was covered with various files and folders and Rae was soon lost in her own working world. Susan's account of the attack that she had listened to the previous day had opened up the motives and reasons for the killings and, following a telephone conversation with Ron on the Thursday evening, Rae was making line after line of detailed notes.

The killing of Nadine, which had worried her because of the differences in MO and signature, had slipped into place when she realised that he had gone right back out and killed a prostitute, easy prey, because of those very differences. That hadn't worked for him either, and the lack of a flower and the remains of hair by the body told her that it was at that moment he had become even more dangerous. He hadn't seen Harriet Brown, the call girl, as one of his victims, hadn't felt the need to leave his calling card with her, but the signature had been the same, the feet, the hair, even though he had left it with her body, those were the things he had to do. Finally, Rae could begin to separate out the two patterns, the MO that he could change to suit the situation, and the signature, which he could not.

Krista's body, the only one she hadn't seen on its discovery, had born the brunt of his most vicious attack to date, although Rae had a feeling that if he hadn't been interrupted then Susan might well have been attacked just as badly. Rae was sure now that not only was he taking revenge again for what the victim in New York had done, but also for the mistakes made with Nadine and Harriet and the early turmoil in his life when he lost his mother and then went through a succession of foster homes. Rae had put a call through early that morning to obtain a copy of Dominic's records. She wasn't working and so Cheryl had obtained the search warrant and was going to fax the details through later in the day.

Rae wanted nothing more than for this case to be wrapped up. She didn't know if it was because of what Steve had said the previous day, the anniversary that she had coming up, or maybe even a combination of the two, but she realised that the disenchantment she felt with her life had to be faced. Right now she was fairly sure that moving with Steve was what she wanted to do, although, in the small hours of the night she had even pondered the possibility of resigning, taking a couple of months off, and then looking to the future. The other work related thing that weighed heavily on her mind was her need to discover who had murdered Albert. Until she could close the files on the old man's killing, and Dominic, she wasn't sure if she could seriously consider any future plans.

"Oh, my, God." Jesse's voice cut into her thoughts and she could tell instantly that he had found something.

"What?" Rae looked at her husband and to her dismay saw that he was pale, that the diary in his hand was shaking slightly as he sat with a look of horrified realisation on his face.

"Honey, whatever is it?" She stood immediately and moved so that she could put her arm around her husband and pull him close to her. "Jesse, tell me."

"He's here, in this book."

"Who is? Albert's killer, that's great, what does it say?" Rae went to take the volume out of his grasp but he jerked it away from her.

"No, Dominic, Dominic Little, Nicolas Large, Nika, whatever his name was, he's here in this book. He used the name Matthew too, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he booked in at Texas's riding stables as Matthew Little, with Leigh Ann. My God, it's been here at home all this time, show me." Rae sat heavily in the seat next to Jesse and then together they read through an entry that made two impossible cases seem suddenly irretrievably linked and maybe even solvable.

I had to go see Matthew, in 104, he's been burning stuff again, I knew it would have something to do with that Dominic guy he seems to hang around with, and it did. He said he'd ruined one of Dominic's shirts and had to get rid of it before he got into trouble. He seems such a nice kid, odd but nice, so I just told him to stop putting his trash can out on the fire escape and I'd deal with the residents committee. I didn't think I would tell him that I saw Dominic bringing a girl to his apartment. I guess he must have been out.

"I need to go and check with this Matthew guy. If he is a friend of Dominic maybe he can help us with our inquiries." Rae stood up, she knew that her Friday off was over, before it had almost begun, but if she could solve both cases in one go then perhaps her life could start again.

"Not on your own, let me come." Jesse looked over to where their children were playing and knew that he would have to stay home.

"I have no intention of going alone, I'll call Steve; if you could look after Damita then David could go with Texas to the hospital today, besides you are on birthday party duty, remember?"

The grin on her husband's face told her that he hadn't forgotten. "Sure, I can do that; as long as her momma doesn't think I'm poisoning her by not flying in the water for her bottles!"

Texas had called around the previous evening having seen Rae and Jesse drive out of the parking lot at Community General in front of them. They had chatted for a little while and the subject of Debbie, her unexpected visit and her dog had come up.

_"I thought about callin' Steve and tellin' him that the dog was there, but in the end I decided against it. The hotel that Miss Prissy Knickers is stayin' in doesn't take dogs, an' so I guess we're stuck with it." __Texas__ had lowered her voice and spoken quietly. "I think that the marriage is comin' to an end. I wish I could say I'm sorry, but I'm truly not."_

_"A divorce is never pleasant however amicable it is, so I regret that for them. My divorce was awful, I lost my children, and myself there for a while too, but the thought of trying to work out a settlement with all your … um …" she had paused, not wanting to sound too flippant or rude._

_"Money? Dollars? Yeah, I know. My grandmamma was a shrewd woman, she won't get any more than she deserves, but I just wish I could work out why she married him in the first place."_

_"Maybe she loved him?" Jesse had been quiet until then, knowing from experience, so he had once told Rae, that when the two of them got started it was a good idea to sit back and let the conversation flow around him._

_"Yeah, right! No, Jesse, I'm sorry to burst your little balloon, but love was never the reason, not on her part anyhow."_

_"Oh. So what will happen, what about Damita?"_

_"She wants custody, Jesse, an' will fight him for it. I haven't said anythin' but I think she'll get it too. He's at work most of the time, she would be cared for by a nanny all of the days an' probably a lot of the nights too. She's a lovely chil' but I'm guessin' I won't see much of her."_

The conversation had drifted onto other things but Rae had thought about the little girl a lot. Losing your child was an awful experience, one she wouldn't wish on anyone, and her heart had gone out to the little baby as she had worked late into the evening.

"Well, just as long as you behave and maybe get David to put a call through to the hotel and check with Debbie first I think you'll be ok." Rae paused for a moment and kissed him lightly on the cheek and then with a deep breath became businesslike and efficient. "I'll put Anneya's dress out on her bed; the present is in the breakfast room on the shelf by the door. I have no idea how long I'll be. I'll go call Steve and then see if I can't find myself a judge, but if not we have enough evidence to conduct a search anyway."

"Rae." Jesse moved across to where his wife had stopped on the patio as he called her name. "I realise this is just a friend of Dominic but still, please, be careful. You saw what he did to Susan, and … well he's gonna be scared, maybe hiding, he could even be there when you arrive … please."

"Shhh, I always am careful, but I promise I'll be even more so. I know this guy is more of a fruit loop than any other I've dealt with, which means his friends are hardly likely to be top notch so, like I said, I promise, I will be extra vigilant. Don't worry." Rae smiled and then leant over and kissed her husband on the lips. She felt his arms go around her and began to run her fingers into his hair. She had waited this long, a few more minutes wouldn't matter.

ooo

The search for a judge had been successful and, three hours after Jesse had read the fateful words in Albert's book, Steve and Rae, with guns drawn, stood one either side of the entrance to Matthew Little's apartment. There was a gloom about the hallway which wasn't just due to the fact that there were now dark clouds gathering outside. The tension seemed to increase as the partners glanced at each other and their gazes locked for just a little longer than usual.

Steve had already knocked and announced that the police were at the door but the answer had been a deafening silence, and so now he held up three fingers and saw Rae nod. He reduced them to two, then one and raised his foot kicking at the door, forcing it open and sending himself into the room his weapon raised and ready should anyone approach him.

The two of them moved in opposite directions scanning the area as they did so. "Kitchen's clear." It was Rae who spoke first; travelling on from that room towards what she thought would be the bathroom.

The apartment was normal and definitely empty and it wasn't until they got to the final bedroom that Rae and Steve realised just what they had found and where they were.

It was Steve who opened the last door and, switching on the light, stopped dead in his tracks, almost causing Rae to run into him.

"What?" Rae could tell by the way he instantly tensed that Steve had discovered something.

"Get the crime scene guys up here. I want this place cordoned off, no one in or out. I want an APB on this Matthew guy and I want it all done right now!"

"Steve, what have you seen?" The doorway wasn't that wide and somehow Steve seemed to fill it. Gradually he took in a deep breath and stepped aside, knowing that even though Rae was a hardened cop, just as he was, the sight would shock her.

"Oh, my." Rae looked directly ahead of her; the room was an average size for a main bedroom. It would easily fit a double bed, closet and nightstand in it. There was none of that though. Instead there was a sofa and some large chests of drawers, six of them in all, each with five drawers the full width of the piece of furniture. They didn't match, but were all the same height. On the tops were some pictures in frames, and there were others on large cork style boards that covered three walls, the fourth was mainly window with a blackout curtain covering it. On each board were shot after shot of blonde haired women, dead blonde haired women, with their bloodied and slaughtered bodies pinned next to shots when they were alive and vibrant, and Rae realised that there were maybe two or three faces that she didn't recognize, bodies that they had yet to find.

Pulling on a pair of latex gloves, as her partner had already done, Rae stepped into the room before turning slightly and letting out a gasp. Steve, who had followed her looked in the same direction and saw that the wall behind the door was covered with photos of just one woman.

"That's the victim from New York, Sara Ann Miller. The one that was the first. She left him, somehow she left him alone, and it had something to do with her hair. Whatever it was it became part of the signature for all his other killings. Thank goodness she'll never know what she started."

"What? How can you blame her for that?" Steve looked at the photos. The woman was very beautiful, there was no doubt about that, tall, slender, her blonde hair hanging halfway down her back in a bright, golden curtain which, even in the photo, seemed to have a luminescence about it that caught and held his attention.

"I'm not blaming her, but whatever it was she did, whether intentionally or unintentionally; it set Dominic off on a campaign of murder that has taken him from one side of the country to the other and back again."

"No one becomes a serial killer because of one incident. I don't buy that." Steve turned back to face his partner, partly because he could no longer make eye contact with the woman in the pictures.

"He didn't become a signature killer overnight, and I didn't say he did. There was the girl on the subway whose hair he tried to hack off. He could have had a thing about hair long before he even knew Sara, but she is a huge figure in this, otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned her to Susan."

Steve had read the notes Rae had made as they waited to see the judge, but now he looked quizzically at her, he wanted to hear more of what she had to say.

"You called him a serial killer; I called him a signature killer. The difference is that he has to act in a certain set way, you know that." Rae watched as her partner, still listening intently, nodded his head and, encouraged, her mind full of thoughts, she continued.

"Think about this for a moment, each girl was killed in a different place; the only link that we could find was that they were quiet corners of popular locations. The people he mentioned to Susan all left him, that's why he takes trophies. I wrote down this morning that when we find him we'll find similar trophies. Look around you, Steve, none of these things can get up and walk away, like he said to Susan, he doesn't have Sara's hair, but he does have Susan's. He doesn't have Nadine, Jenna, any of these other girls any more, but he has their clothes, their pictures and … my god, look."

Rae pointed to one of the pictures of Sara Ann Millar. It was a shot taken from the back so that her face wasn't visible, and Rae blanched. "That could be Susan, if we didn't know it wasn't her … that could be Susan." Rae shuddered, she knew the young woman was still alive in the hospital, but she dreaded to think how she would have been left if the security guard hadn't spotted her on his monitor.

"That's why he said he had her hair?" Steve looked at the picture, he had known Susan a lot longer than Rae and he thought that he would have known it wasn't her, but he had to admit that a cursory glance wouldn't have been enough.

"Yeah, I guess so. He cut the other hair off, all of them had their hair either hacked at or styled, and some of these faces I don't recognise. There could be others who just had their hair attacked, I … I would feel violated if someone tried to take my hair, but I don't know if I would report it or not." She paused; again her mind was racing, thoughts now falling over themselves to get out. "He killed Sara, but he might well have attacked other girls before that. She could have unleashed the monster, or just been the final part of a pattern which had begun forming way before he met her. Don't forget Bundy dated women while he was killing others, he even got married in jail, so did the Night Stalker, Ramirez."

As Rae finished speaking, almost in reply to her words a flash of lightening lit up the sky and then more or less immediately the air was rent by a roar of thunder.

"I'll call the station and then we can look around. I wonder where he is, this Matthew guy." Rae opened her phone and began to make the arrangements Steve had asked her to, knowing that they both had a difficult day in front of them.

ooo

Jayden was waiting for his mom to arrive, and the smile which warmed her heart so easily worked its magic charms again as she approached his crib. She knew it wasn't really a smile it was him focusing on what little of the world he could actually see, but it was a smile to her.

"Hi, Sweetie, I have Uncle David with me today, Daddy is workin'. How're you doin'?" Jo watched her brother, still uncertain in the confines of the NICU, breathing rapidly through his mask.

Belinda was busy with a baby who looked tiny even to Jo's experienced eyes and a woman that she didn't recognize, and so she waited, hoping against hope that today was a kangaroo care day, and trying not to think about her husband and best friend going off in search of their Red Rose Killer.

"Hi, Jo, I'm sorry about that, unfortunately it's getting kinda busy in here. I wondered whether, in a little while, you could do me a favor?" Belinda's voice cut into her thoughts and Jo looked up and nodded.

"Sure, as long as it doesn't include bungee jumpin' or cookin' it's no problem."

"No, not this time. The lady I was talking to, she just delivered her baby at twenty-six weeks, because of pre-eclampsia, would you speak with her? She is so scared, and she doesn't have a husband to help her through like you do."

"Of course, whenever you want me to, just ask. Oh, Belinda, this is my brother, David, Steve's on duty today."

"I'm very pleased to meet you, and don't look so scared, once you get used to it, this is a very peaceful and tranquil place to be." Belinda's smile and quiet assuredness wasn't quite enough to convince David but he managed to nod his head.

"Well, if you say so, then I guess I'll take your word for it, Ma'am."

"Texas, huh? Just like your sister but stronger. You live there?"

"Yes, Ma'am, breedin' cattle."

"Don't most people?" Belinda smiled and laughed her quiet, work laugh, which disturbed no one, then she turned back towards Jo and began to speak again.

"So, Momma, you have your favorite shirt on, kangaroo care?"

Jo just nodded, the top she had on, which was white and had snap fasteners all down the front, was easy to undo so that she could quickly position her son. She hadn't realised it, but she guessed that she wore it quite often.

The routine, undertaken most days, was second nature to her now and Jo watched as the lines were attached to her gown before her baby was gently positioned on her chest and covered by the soft blanket she had brought in just the day before. As usually happened Jayden's oxygen saturation levels rose almost instantly and he seemed to snuggle against her breast. Having made eye contact with her son momentarily she now looked up and into the face of her brother.

"My God, Jo, he is just so small, aren't you afraid of breakin' him?"

"No, not now that he's grown some, but first of all, oh yeah, terrified." Jo relaxed back into the chair and, with her brother's hand in her own, gently placed them over her son's body and together they sat silently enjoying the moment.

"I need to talk to you about his weight gain." Belinda spoke quietly to them almost ten minutes later, the hushed tones of her voice not disturbing Jayden at all.

"Is there a problem with it?" Jo looked instantly scared stiff, and realised that however well Jayden had been doing the fear of him slipping back was still there just beneath the surface.

"No, there is no problem at all, just the opposite in fact. We think we are ready to try bottle feeding Jayden."

The terror rose in Jo, and must have been transferred to her son because he squirmed and then set off the heart monitor alarm. Carefully, but quickly, Belinda moved him back into his isolette and watched as the figures began to steady.

"Ok, that was bad timing, I'm sorry, I thought you would be pleased." Five minutes had passed, and now the nurse felt able to turn away from her young charge.

"I … I am, but how … he's so small … I mean. What do I mean?" Jo looked so flustered, so unsure of herself that Belinda wanted to laugh, to hug her, probably both at the same time, but instead she checked the figures once again before sitting in the chair still vacant next to the nervous mother.

"We have tiny bottles, just express enough to fill one and then we'll have a practice. He'll still get food by gavage, so if he doesn't take to it right away we won't starve him."

"Gavage?" David spoke for almost the first time in fifteen minutes, and Belinda turned to look at him.

"So far all his feeds have been given by a gavage tube. That's the one which is going down his throat to his stomach. Your sister's breast milk is in there, so he is getting her antibodies and the nutrients just as a full term baby would. He's been sucking his thumb though and making little kissy noises, so we thought it was time to give a bottle a try."

"It just seems so sudden to me, but I guess I'm not lookin' for all the different improvements you are. Part of me is just satisfied every day that he is still alive, an' I am watchin' for little movements, his eyes bein' open for longer than the day before, things like that. The medical side of it, well it just scares me witless, so I am takin' no serious notes."

"And you the daughter-in-law of the head of internal medicine." Belinda smiled as she spoke and was relieved when Jo did too.

"I know, terrible isn't it?"

"I would suggest that we let him rest for twenty minutes or so, he isn't quite due for a feed yet, and then we will see how we get on."

"Ok, I'll go an' have me a little talk with the lady over there, an' then express the milk. David can you sit with Jayden on your own?"

"Um, yeah, I can do that. Can I talk to him, touch him, anythin' like that?"

"Of course, but one thing at a time or you will over stimulate him." Belinda smiled again at the worried man in front of him. His eyes were kind, but slightly haunted, and she could tell that his life hadn't been easy lately.

Jo watched Belinda look at her brother for a moment before heading off to speak with the new mom the other side of the room. David could do with a friendly woman companion to counteract Miss Prissy Knickers. It might be a bit soon, but she would speak to Juan about having Belinda over for dinner before Davie and Damita returned to Texas.

ooo

Daniel, with gracious permission from his Aunt Debs, had brought his cousin round to Oak Place and asked Jesse if he could stay as well.

They had sat on the patio watching the two older girls playing happily while Damita bounced in her little chair watching the shadows her sunshade and mobile made as she moved.

"Can I ask you a question, Jesse?"

"Sure, no problem, fire away." Jesse turned and smiled, he was very fond of the young man sitting beside him, and enjoyed his company.

"I know lots of things have happened to you over the years, and to Rae too, how do you cope with that?" Daniel paused for a moment, not sure if he was explaining what it was he needed to know. "Some days I think I'm fine with all that goes on in our house, and then others I can't deal with it at all. Even things I thought I was over come back bigger and more scary than before." Daniel was blushing furiously by the time he finished speaking, embarrassed but relieved at the same time to get his worries out in the open.

Jesse nodded his head in understanding; he had been there many times. "I think that's a natural reaction. I had a period of time when I didn't cope with things at all well, I tried to ignore the fact that they had even happened, pushing the blame in all directions to get it away from me, because then I could move away from the memories too."

Daniel was silent for a moment, digesting what Jesse had said. "That was when … when you left? When you were staying with Grandpa?"

"Yes, but I'd left prior to that too, before we were married when Rae was hurt. Both times I learned a valuable lesson. The same one actually, I guess it just took me a long time to get it into my brain, that running away doesn't work. The memories are always gonna be there, and some days you'll be able to see them, with hindsight, for what they are, just recollections of something which isn't likely to happen again, other days they'll scare you, worry you, almost make you unable to function for a while. I sure hope that's normal because it happens to me." Jesse smiled, he didn't know what Daniel wanted from him, but his face seemed more relaxed than it had done.

"Mom was taken, just like you were, and it didn't seem to bother her that much when she got home. I know she dreams about it sometimes, but that's it, and Dad, well, I know it wasn't your fault, but he nearly died, and yet he just carries on like it didn't happen at all. And now Jayden, I think he's gonna survive, and Mom and Dad they're getting the nursery done, that playhouse is waiting for when he can go play in it. But what if he doesn't? How will they feel? All these things for a child who has gone? I guess I just don't understand it." The confusion was apparent on his face now, and for a moment Daniel looked far younger than his sixteen years.

"They … last night, they talked, and I listened, they knew I was at the other end of the room, but I didn't say anything, it … it started as an argument, but they were ok in the end." Daniel began to think back, and Jesse, seeing that he needed a few moments, closed his eyes and let the last vestiges of a rapidly disappearing sun warm him.

_"Jo, I know you want to do all these things for Jayden, but, Honey, nineteen thousand dollars!" His dad's voice hadn't been raised, he had just sounded amazed._

_"But he can play in it with his little friends, an' Eliana an' Anneya can come, an' that poor chil' can play safely there in a wonderful playhouse." Her eyes had filled with tears but Daniel, who could see his mom's face, hadn't moved, knowing that he wasn't who she needed right now._

_"Anneya isn't a poor child, she is doing just fine, and even if she weren't it isn't your place to do this type of thing for her."_

_"It's for Jayden first; anyone else who uses it will do so when he says." His mom was defending herself now, her hand slipping over her stomach as she raised her voice._

_"And when is he gonna say? Jo, he isn't a month old yet, he shouldn't even be here yet, and you are building his first house!"_

_"You think I don't know that? You think that I don't wish he was still here," she had pointed to herself as she yelled, "still inside me safe an' sound?" The tears had fallen then, and Daniel had stood up only to be looked at by his dad and so he had sat back down._

_"What if … what if I don't do this now an' I don't ever get the chance? What if he doesn't make it, I'll never get the chance to have a room, a nursery, for my baby, a future for him to play in an' enjoy, what if …?" Her words had stopped then and his dad had taken her into his arms and gently held her, whispering into her hair. Daniel had seen that Steve's eyes too had been bright, and, picking up the sports pages, he had quietly left the room and gone to see Debbie's dog._

The clouds had gathered as they sat in silence but still no one moved and Jesse was quiet for a while longer, even after the young man looked at him and smiled, mainly because he wasn't sure if Daniel had finished thinking or not, but also because he wanted to word what he had to say correctly. Jesse had seen the turmoil going on inside Daniel, seen it well up and then either burst or be pushed away, and knew that now the boy had spoken about some of it, it was up to him to put his mind at rest.

"Daniel, the things that happened to your mom and me, we just dealt with them differently, and for me … well they led, gradually, to what I did to your dad. I had been kidnapped years before, drugged and abused, in my mind I joined the two things together, and they definitely made me a bit unstable there for a while. The guilt I feel about what I did to Steve won't ever go away. It isn't the type of feeling that is ok one day and awful the next either. It's always awful, which is why I try not to think about it. But I am, and always will be very, very sorry for what I did, I hope you know that."

"Yeah, I know. I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't think you felt that way. But what about Jayden? What about all the things that Mom has bought for him? Nursery furniture, even a play house?" Daniel didn't think he would mention the cost, he still couldn't believe it himself.

Jesse had known that a lot of the boy's problems would relate to his new baby brother and trying not to smile he spoke again. "Think about it for a moment. Your mom and dad love each other, they have you, who they also love, dearly, and then Jo becomes pregnant. That means there will be a baby in the house. A baby needs a place to sleep, it needs diapers, bottles, tiny clothes, and strange toys made of soft materials. They know that in their case it could also mean NICU isolettes, heartache and tears. What would you rather concentrate on? You do all the normal things because if you do, then maybe, just maybe, the other things won't happen and if they do then it will still be ok, because everything is ready for this little one to come home to and be a normal new baby. Do you see that?"

Again Daniel was listening hard and thinking through what his friend was saying. "Yeah I do, but, Jesse, how do you cope if the baby dies, or if it's … not quite right? How do you help, how do I help?"

"First of all, I agree with what you said earlier, I think Jayden will survive, and hopefully, like Eliana, he'll be fine."

"Like Ana? Was she … did Rae have what Mom had, the pre-eclampsia?"

Jesse shook his head, "No, Rae was kidnapped by a guy who had been stalking her a couple of years earlier. He gave her all sorts of drugs, as well as physically assaulting her. We think that's why Eliana was born at seven months." Jesse didn't mention the sexual assaults and rapes that Rae had also endured, for this discussion they weren't necessary and it wasn't his place to mention them especially to someone so young.

It was Daniel's turn to shake his head, but in amazement, as he listened to Jesse speak. "Why do these things happen? My life was never as good as it is now, I wasn't happy, not after my mom left, but, man, it wasn't this dangerous."

"Why do these things happen? I don't know, it could be because your dad and Rae are cops; they deal with desperate people all the time. The guy who took your mom, he'd lost his wife to another man, who he'd killed, he didn't want to go down for murder, he was desperate. Rae is a great believer in fate. She says that the main things in life, which are supposed to happen, always will, no matter what else is going on. I'm not sure if I agree with her or not, but she would tell you that even though Jo and I were meant to be taken we were also meant to be found. I know that she would also say that you were always meant to end up a Sloan, everything else that went on before was leading to that. Your mom leaving, your cousin Zeke deciding to rob the grocery store, Alex and Shannon being there too. Who knows, she may be right."

"So we do what? Take every day as it comes, putting in no effort because everything is predetermined anyway?" Daniel knew that wasn't what Jesse meant, at least he thought he did.

"No, it's not that easy. We do our best, for ourselves and those we love. If those people are in a difficult situation we make sure we're there for them, that they know all they have to do is ask, and then we get on with our own lives. There is nothing else we can do.

"Daniel, I know you're scared about Jayden, I was terrified the first time I saw Eliana in her isolette. No one will expect more of you than you can give, but they may be a bit preoccupied and not listen as much as usual. We're here, Rae and I, we'll listen and help you if your mom and dad are busy, but remember, that won't mean they love you any less or any differently than before. They may see you differently, but not love you that way."

"Because all of a sudden I'm the big brother?" Daniel smiled, "I **_feel_** different, y'know? As soon as I heard that Jayden had been born … you, as soon as you told me. I was scared, and I've been scared for him, for all of us, every day since, but I've felt … I don't know, different is the only word I can think of, but I … I think I like it."

The silence that descended over the patio was friendly, companionable and, as Jesse and Daniel both reached for and then drank from their soda cans at the same time, they relaxed and felt no need to say anything further.

ooo

Rae's senses were reeling; she had seen things that made her head whirl, and was sickened to the very pit of her stomach. She had no doubt that whoever Matthew was, Dominic Little, Nicholas Large, it didn't matter what name you used, had been living with him in this apartment, storing his perverted treasures here, and no one had even noticed. She guessed that it fitted the pattern. Signature killers were more social than serial killers, moving through the society they lived in, usually on the edges but known, recognized by those around them.

"How the hell could Matthew have let this go on?" She had said roughly the same thing two or three times already, Steve hadn't had an answer then, he didn't now, but knew he should respond to her.

"Fear? Maybe he was just too scared to say anything."

"Oh come on!" Rae looked amazed. "It goes way past that when someone has killed as many times as Dominic has. He must have gotten off on it. Albert said he was weird, maybe he got his kicks second hand when Dominic told him what had happened on his dates."

Rae had opened the first drawer of the piece of furniture nearest to the door of the bedroom and found a plastic sealed bag containing neatly folded, but bloodstained, clothes in it." The bag had said _Tanisha _on the label and Steve had explained that it was the sister of the woman who had set them on Dominic's trail in New York.

Gradually they had looked at the clothes and belongings for all the victims they had found so far, along with others, which they knew were for the two faces they didn't recognise.

Finally, in the bottom drawer of the first chest Rae had discovered another bag, the final link in the chain of what Dominic did, and why. The bag had been full of hair, each lock or locks separated, combed and named and she had dropped it back into its hiding place and taken a horrified step back.

"My God, Steve, I'm sorry." It had been too much for her, and she had turned running blindly from the room, making her way to the fire escape where she could throw up without contaminating the scene.

ooo

He had recognized the car; it belonged to that cop, the woman, the British woman who was after him. There was another car as well parked next to it, he hadn't seen that one before, and his defences and fears rose within him.

Dominic-Matthew looked around, he could hear the ordinary sounds of a Friday, and that calmed him a little. She had probably just come back to speak with the residents who had been out the other times she'd called. The other car could be someone visiting for the wake. There had been a lot of different vehicles around since Albert died. What he'd do was go up the fire escape, that way he could be sure no one would spot him. The rear door to his apartment was stiff to open, and had a lock on the inside by the handle. He could reach it through the window, which didn't fasten properly, so he would be able to get in that way.

He climbed up the flights of steps and his heart nearly stopped as he peered in through the murky, grimy glass and saw two people in his apartment and worse than that saw they were at the door of the third bedroom. The Matthew part of his persona screamed at him to run, to make a bolt for it right now, but Dominic was still the stronger and he stood, resolutely, needing to see what they were doing, what they were looking at.

For a while he was unable to hear them inside the room, and Matthew fought hard to keep Dominic from moving closer so that he could eavesdrop. Then to their joint horror the female came out and made a call on her cell phone, he knew that reinforcements were being called for, and for a moment he wavered, he should go, but if he left now all his treasures, apart from the ones in his suitcase, would be lost. If he waited he might have the chance to get at least a picture of the one, that showed just her back view, then he would leave.

The two cops worked quietly again, occasionally they had a short conversation but mainly they looked and kept their own council. Then, suddenly, almost without warning the woman was coming towards him, her hand was over her mouth as she fought desperately with the bolt.

Dominic-Matthew moved a little further back, his hand curling around the knife he always kept with him and he waited. The door finally opened and she rushed unseeingly past him and, as she headed for the rail, he pushed her, hard, and listened to her scream as she disappeared from sight.


	22. Chapter 22

**22 It's not the Fall that Kills You**

The rail dug into Rae's stomach as she hit it before being propelled over in an almost graceful somersault and even as she screamed her hands were grabbing for the bars and again she was battered as her body hit the other side of the metal support, sliding down the poles that were slick from the rain.

"Steve!" The one word almost stopped him in his tracks as he moved closer to where Matthew, at least he thought it was Matthew, was standing but then seeing her fingers spurred him on again just in time to see a foot raise to kick out at both hands and as the scream rent the air once again, his partner disappeared from sight and he heard the sickening sound as she hit the ground, a sound he would never forget.

The younger man in front of him seemed, just for a second, to be frozen in place and Steve, grabbing his cuffs from the back of his belt, suddenly smiled grimly despite himself and hauled Matthew round before cuffing his wrists to the very rails that Rae had just fallen over.

"Stay there!"

A numbness seemed to envelope him as he saw Rae's still form lying crumpled on the ground below him and, the shock riding over him in waves, he almost lost his own footing as he made his way down the steps automatically not taking in anything around him, not the rain, the lightening, or the sound of car doors slamming and footsteps on the sidewalk as they reached his ears.

ooo

The message from Rae had been relayed to Cheryl and Amanda and the two of them had parked, one in front of the other, outside the main entrance to the building where they had been told Matthew Little lived. The pathologist, who had been away at a conference for almost a week, was looking forward to getting back into the swing of things, and knew from the details she had received that the apartment they were going to could, at the very least, break this case wide open if not solve it totally.

"Hi, Cheryl, how are you? How's Martin?" Amanda smiled; she enjoyed the female cop's company and found pleasure working with her.

"I'm good thanks, and Martin is doing great. He's come along so well since we moved to Beverly Hills. He's doing Rae and Jesse's yard work for them, sometimes he chats with Anneya in sign, and he is definitely enjoying life right now."

"That's wonderful." Amanda paused as Cheryl pressed a few apartment buttons until she heard the familiar buzz and then held the front door open for her. "Thank you. What do you know about this?" The two of them were walking through the lobby and looking at the floor numbers as she spoke again.

"Not a lot more than you I'm guessing. Rae said that they had found evidence to link Matthew Little to Dominic or Nicholas or whatever name he uses, and we needed to get over here and check it out. The crime scene guys are on their way, and I have two black and white crews who are going to secure the area and then start door-to-door."

"Matthew Little?" Amanda looked a little puzzled as Cheryl spoke.

"That's the name the guy used at Jo's riding stables. Seems like he actually exists."

"Oh, ok, I remember now. Sorry, my mind is still with bugs and beetles!"

"How nice. I just love the bodies that have bugs and beetles in them." For a second they smiled at each other before Amanda spoke again.

"Me too, but I think I mean it more than you do! So, with Rae and Steve's help I'm gonna just look around to start with. I'm not sure what they want me to do, I'll take my lead from them."

"Here we are, I guess we just go on in." Cheryl had pulled on a pair of latex gloves as she was walking and paused a moment to let Amanda do the same, then she pushed the door and watched as it slowly swung open to reveal a totally empty apartment and she felt the hairs on her neck stand up.

ooo

"Rae." He saw her lying on the ground and for a moment his brain refused to process the seriousness of what had happened to her. He didn't remember making his way to her, but he must have somehow got down the steps because he was there, crouched down and crying out for someone, anyone, to call 911 before focusing on his partner and what, if anything, he could do to help.

"Steve, what … oh my, God." His friend's voice came at him from above and he looked up to see Cheryl staring down at him from the fire escape where she had made her way from the unexpectedly vacant apartment, gun raised and heart pounding.

"Who?" She glanced at the glowering and dripping young man attached to the fire escape.

"Matthew Little, get rid of him, Cheryl, read him his rights and get rid of him. Attempted murder of a police officer." The voice was hard as flint and she nodded her head in response before taking on a more respectful air than normal.

"Yes, Sir." Steve's position wasn't lost on Cheryl and she quickly dealt with the Miranda warning and took her prisoner away, leaving Amanda to rush to where her two friends were, hoping that she could help both of them.

"Did someone call an ambulance?" Amanda stood just a little way back, not wanting to get too close or intrude, but needing to be there.

Steve just nodded and looked back down at his partner. He was trying to use his body to shield her from the inclement weather but knew he wasn't succeeding. Her hair was splayed out on the wet ground, blood mingling with it and the rain. Her right leg was at such an angle that there was no doubt it was broken, at least twice, maybe more, jagged bone, which had broken through her skin and her jeans, was white now as the rain cleaned everything it came into contact with. He was pretty sure that her left leg was broken too and instinctively he gently took her hand in his and to his delight felt it move.

"Rae, can you hear me?"

"Steve?" The voice was so faint that he had to move closer to make out the word and then he watched her blink her eyes. "I … can't see anything."

The dread caused by her words grabbed his guts and twisted them but he fought the feeling with all he had. "Don't worry about it, there's nothing much to see anyway."

"Tell … tell Jesse I love him …" Rae coughed then and the rain washed away the blood that appeared round her mouth. Steve didn't answer; he didn't think that he could. "My … my girls … my children, tell … them too."

The parking lot, walkway, whatever it was, Steve didn't care, had been quiet for a moment and then she had spoken again. "Thanks … p … p… partner … it was fun." Her eyelids had flickered and Steve had closed his own eyes, no longer able to look at her and then there were two firm hands on his shoulders and a calm voice in his ear.

"We'll take over here, Sir. We'll go to Community General." Again he nodded, there was nothing he could do or say and Steve watched as gently, but with urgency, a neck support was fitted before she was transferred to a backboard, placed on a gurney and pushed away from him as he turned to hug Amanda, holding on to her as if he would never let go.

ooo

The birthday party was in full swing, Daniel had stayed at Oak Place with Eliana and Jesse had taken Anneya and Damita with him. From those he could count there appeared to be thirty children under five hurtling around inside a large barn like building, jumping on a bouncy castle, then moving on to big wheeled toys and sand, the next area had face paints and balloons and there were attendants on hand in each part to help the little boys and girls get the most fun out of their time at Wonderworld.

The parents hadn't been forgotten either, the opposite side of the building was decorated as a tropical restaurant, with brightly coloured foliage, a flowing river with a waterfall and suitable music piped in from all corners.

Jesse had put the baby stroller next to a table in the middle of the exotic display so that Anneya could see him wherever she was. He'd had a mild panic on the way over in case parents weren't allowed to stay but there were quite a few moms and dads smiling indulgently at their offspring as they bounced, drove, screamed and laughed their way through the hour and a half activity time of the party. Above the table he had chosen there was a, presumably stuffed, parrot on a perch. Damita had spotted it immediately and was almost transfixed by it. Jesse took a drink from his coffee and wondered how Rae and Steve were getting on. He knew how much both of them wanted the case over and done with. They were carrying around the deaths of the women on their consciences, and he also knew that both of them had a chance to move on with their careers but would find it hard to do so with Dominic still out there.

Rae had spoken to him about the chance to change station with Steve the previous evening and now he was turning it over in his mind. He had a feeling that his wife had already made up her mind to move, but he knew that over the years she had been in LA her impulsive nature had been tempered and that she was trying to be restrained about this and keep her enthusiasm in check.

Jesse also knew how much more relaxed Jo would be when Steve was station bound. He would feel that way for his friend as well. Rae had a while to go until she would be in that position, and he wasn't sure if she would want it anyway. He hadn't thought Steve would either, but a family changed a man, it had certainly changed him, and Steve was definitely mellower, more content, since he had become a husband and a dad.

Looking out over the little bobbing heads of the children again Jesse caught Anneya's eye and was rewarded with a beaming smile. He knew that all the noise around was beyond her reach, but she seemed to be coping well. The bouncy castle had caught her attention for a while, but now she was having her face painted. She had her badge on that told people she was deaf, and Jesse hoped that the ladies doing the painting would be sympathetic and gentle with her. Just as he waved to her he felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket and pulled it out to answer it. He heard Cheryl's voice and his world crashed.

ooo

The sofa was so comfy that Jo didn't think she would ever move again. She and David had spent a very enjoyable time at the hospital, Jayden had taken the bottle, not immediately, but with a little bit of cajoling and help from Belinda the small amount of milk had gradually gotten less and less until it was all gone and she had felt like the best mom in the world.

The little boy had dropped off to sleep almost immediately and, knowing that David would be anxious to get back to his own daughter, she had suggested that they leave and let the tiny baby rest.

Jo had spoken to the new mom in the ward and felt a great deal of sympathy for her. An idea had begun to form in her mind, something that maybe she could do to thank the hospital for the love and care they were giving to Jayden and at the same time help other moms and dads who were in her and Steve's unenviable position.

For now though the sofa, a lavender scented eye mask, a soft throw across her feet and the sound of peaceful music on the CD player were all she needed. David had been disappointed that Damita had gone with Jesse to the party but had taken the time he had been given to begin going over some of the papers he had brought with him as well as the official forms he had received through the mail from his wife's lawyers.

The phone ringing in the hallway was just a peripheral sound to Jo, she knew that Juan would answer it, take a message and then discreetly leave that message with its intended recipient.

"Madam, if I might speak with you for a moment." Jo was surprised as her butler came into the room, the wireless phone still in his hand.

"Yes, Juan, what is it?" She carefully raised her mask, suddenly worried as to the message she was about to receive.

"Mrs Bentley-Wagner is on the phone, Madam, she is taking your husband to Community General Hospital, Mrs Travis has been injured. Mrs Bentley-Wagner thinks that the Lieutenant will need your company and assistance."

Jo wanted to just leap off the sofa, but leaping was way beyond her at the moment. Nodding her agreement she watched as Juan spoke into the phone again before disconnecting the call and then gently helping her to her feet keeping a reassuring hand underneath her elbow as she made her way into the hallway.

"Daniel is at Oak Place, he is lookin' after Eliana, we need to get him to come here, because Miss Vicki isn't home. David, can you go get David from the library? Then we can go to the hospital."

"Very good, Madam." Juan paused, just for a moment before speaking again. "Madam, Mrs Bentley-Wagner did say that the injuries were very serious."

Jo just nodded, somehow she already knew that, and holding tightly to the banister at the foot of the main staircase she watched her butler undertake his tasks as she tried to calm her heart and prepare herself for what lay before her.

ooo

Alex had been called to the ER from his afternoon break and was pacing the floor around the nurses' station not wanting to stray from where he would be able to see his patient as soon as she arrived.

The paramedics had kept in contact with the ER and he knew that Rae had been seriously hurt in a fall; he also knew that she had crashed in the ambulance and was receiving artificial ventilation to keep her alive. Shannon was just finishing her shift in the paediatric department and he had called and asked her to come and sit with Steve or Jesse in case they needed company.

Just as he began to clock watch, knowing that the journey should be over he heard the sounds of a gurney and looked anxiously down the hallway to see Rae being intubated by hand as she was wheeled urgently towards him.

"Ok, report."

"The patient is female, Caucasian, 38 years old. She has suffered severe trauma due to a fall from a third floor fire escape. Patient was intubated en-route and received three minutes oxygen prior to treatment and Thiopentone and Suxamethonium after performance of the Sellick manoeuvre."

Alex was nodding his head all the time listening to the details of the treatment carried out. It would have been easier to say that Rae had been anaesthetized, intubated and pressure had been applied to her cricoid cartilage to prevent regurgitation, but he guessed the official way was quicker.

"Trauma One, go on."

"Yes, Doctor. The patient has upper and lower leg closed and compound fractures to both limbs. The right one, appearing to have taken the brunt of the impact. She has head trauma, again to the right side, and although conscious at the scene was non responsive on our arrival and since." The paramedic continued talking as Rae was taken into where she would be quickly re-assessed before going to the OR.

"Ok, on my mark, one, two, three, mark." Alex supervised the transfer of his patient from the paramedics' gurney to a hospital one and then immediately began attaching her to the ventilator. Less than five minutes later she was on her way, with Alex, to the OR.

ooo

Jesse had taken a screaming Anneya, whose tears were spoiling her new rabbit face, and a sobbing Damita out to the car and strapped them both in. He was working almost on autopilot, appeasing his daughter with some chocolate from her party bag and thankful that the pacifier seemed to be working with the other little girl.

The journey from the Wonderworld Play Barn to Community General wasn't one he had ever made before and so he had, thankfully, to concentrate on the road. Even though he was focussing on directions and traffic signals Cheryl's words still ran round and round in his mind. Rae had fallen, she had said, from a fire escape, three storeys up. The implications of that weren't lost on Jesse, and, not for the first time, he wished that he didn't have the medical knowledge to be able to visualise his wife's injuries before seeing them.

It took over an hour to get to the parking lot and draw into his usual place. Both girls were fast asleep by the time he arrived and although he was able to transfer Damita to her stroller without disturbing her he had to wake Anneya so that she could be carried on his hip into the building.

It was clear to him that members of staff knew about Rae by their reaction to his presence. The elevator was held for him and the usual buzz of conversation which was carried out inside it was missing. He moved numbly from its confines into the bright and busy ER where again the area seemed to sink into silence. The first person he saw was Shannon who moved across and offered to look after the children while he waited for news.

Without really thinking Jesse nodded his head, and if Shannon was surprised to see a child she didn't recognize she said nothing. Suddenly though, just as the young nurse was moving the two children towards the nurses' lounge where she planned to entertain them Jesse found his voice.

"I … the baby, Damita, she isn't mine … Jo's brother, we need to get in touch with Jo's brother."

"Jesse, Steve is in the doctors' lounge, Amanda is with him, I know they've called Jo. When she gets here I'll ask about the baby, ok?"

"Ok. Thanks. I … is she … where's Rae?"

"She's in the OR, Alex is with her. Jesse, why don't you go sit with Steve?" Shannon, the concern showing in her face, let go of Anneya's hand for a moment to rest her palm against the worried man's shoulder.

"Yeah, I will, in a minute, I'll just … I will, thank you." Jesse moved off, almost in a dream, and Shannon, her fingers grasped immediately by the sweet softness of a child's hand determined that she would check on both Steve and his friend every ten minutes or so even though Amanda was with them.

Jesse walked to the doctors' lounge, moved in through the door, and sat on the saggy sofa almost without any recognition of his surroundings at all. It wasn't until Amanda stood up from where she and Steve had been sitting at the round table drinking coffee and touched his hand that he looked at her and tried a smile.

"Hi."

"Jesse, Honey, I am so sorry." Amanda gently stroked his hair back comforting him as she would CJ or Dion, and the look of helplessness and despair on his face tore at her heart.

"What happened? Steve, how … how did she fall?" Jesse seemed to notice his friend for the first time, finally voicing the question which had been playing in his mind since he had heard the news.

Steve, who had been resting his head in his hands, raised his eyes so that he could see Jesse, and Amanda was shocked at the haunted look that he too had. "Matthew, the guy whose apartment it was, he … he must have come up the stairs at the back of the building. She … Rae was … she knew she … was … was gonna be sick and went out onto the fire escape … he push … oh, God, he pushed her over the rail." Steve couldn't continue, the scene rose up in his mind, the scream, the sound of his partner calling his name as she hung on for dear life, the foot as it slammed into her hands, sending her plummeting to the ground, the noise as her descent was abruptly halted, all of it was too recent, too fresh in his mind and he turned away, not having the words to carry on.

ooo

Mark couldn't get washed and changed out of his blood soaked scrubs quick enough. He had heard about Rae being brought into the hospital as he was leaving the OR after a routine operation. He was furious that no one had at least passed a message on to him sooner, but knew that his anger was partly fuelled by fear.

The journey from the changing rooms and showers to the doctors' lounge seemed far longer than normal and Mark tried consciously to relax as he entered the room. Steve was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee between his palms; Jo was sat next to him, an arm resting over his shoulder and an extremely worried look on her face. Amanda, who was stood by the window, moved across as soon as she saw him. Her beautiful face clouded with worry and he gently took her into his arms.

"Why didn't anyone get a message to me?" His words came out stronger and louder than he had meant and he felt Amanda jump a little.

"We knew that you would be here as soon as you were free, and there was nothing you could have done." His friend had relaxed again, but her voice told him of her fears.

"I am the head of Internal Medicine, I could have helped in the OR, sat with you, explained what was happening, I could have … could," He paused, not really sure what else he could have done. "I just should have been told."

"Mark, we were ok, we knew you were busy, but you're here now, an' we are still waitin' so please sit down an' forgive us." His daughter-in-law smiled a sad smile at him and he nodded, before speaking again.

"Is there any news yet?" Mark looked around and saw from the faces in front of him that so far nothing had filtered back to them. "Jesse, where's Jesse?"

"He went for a walk." Steve looked up at his dad, his voice and face expressionless.

"A walk? You let him go off on his own when he is as worried as he must be?"

"Dad, everyone knows what's going on! They won't let him get into any trouble." Steve flared for a moment, but the anger was gone almost as soon as it arrived, and in that moment, it occurred to Mark that after what he had been through, his son couldn't swat a fly right now, let alone stop Jesse when he needed to be constantly on the move.

"Well, I still don't like it, if you are all alright together I'll go look for him." Mark waited; the worried faces all showed different levels of stress and anxiety but he knew that the three of them would be there for each other and so, heartened by that, he turned and left the room.

ooo

The arrival of her husband had shocked Susan, but once she had got over the initial surprise she realised just how pleased she was to see him. Very little had been said, but as he sat there she had carefully slid her hand underneath his and he had grasped it tightly, rubbing his thumb over the back of it, just as he had always done.

She was unaware of how long they had sat in silence but looking out of the window onto the hallway Susan saw a familiar face and called out. "Jesse!" Her voice was almost back to normal now and he stopped at the sound and turned.

"Come meet my … Jesse, what is it? Whatever's the matter?" Susan was shocked by the expression on her friend's face, and the tears which were apparent in his eyes.

"Noth … nothing … Susan, I can't …" Jesse stood there, staring at the tall, dark haired gentleman sitting in the seat next to the bed. As he did so the man got to his feet.

"Sit, you look like you need it more than I do."

Jesse didn't even nod he just sank into the chair and then looked around him, almost as if he had no idea how he got where he was.

"Jesse, tell me, what is it?" Susan was getting very worried now and was considering pressing the buzzer if he didn't answer her. She had been moved into a normal room that morning, the chances of her going into shock being considered no longer a cause for concern.

"Rae … they … they had a lead."

Susan felt her breath catch in her throat as she took in the full meaning of what he was saying. "Nika, they know where to find Nika?"

"I don't know he … he pushed Rae, she … she fell … a long way."

"My God, Jesse, I am so sorry." And she was, her husband was back, and while they had things to work out she knew now she wanted to do that. And Jesse, she also knew he loved the English woman far more than he had ever loved her, however much it hurt to admit it, and her heart went out to him.

"I … I have to go … can't stay here … have to go …" Jesse got to his feet, again looking around in a daze before heading back out into the hallway and disappearing from sight, and this time Susan did press the buzzer, knowing that she should tell someone what had just happened.

ooo

Matthew Little sat in the interrogation room his wrists still sore from being encased in the metal cuffs which had been put on him and around the fire escape earlier in the day. His rights had been read; he had been fingerprinted and photographed. Now he sat, a court appointed lawyer next to him, looking into the face of the young woman who had finally released him from the rails outside his apartment.

"Mr Little, do you understand the charges against you?"

"Yes, Ma'am." So far he had answered any questions which were non accusatory politely, but anything else had been met with total silence.

"Why did you attack Detective Yeager on the fire escape at the back of your apartment building?" Cheryl didn't expect an answer and she wasn't disappointed.

"Mr Little, Detective Yeager was pushed over the third floor railing of the fire escape out back of your apartment block, do you deny that you had anything to do with that?"

Again there was silence and Cheryl looked over at the lawyer who was sitting, his hands folded neatly in his lap, watching his client follow his instructions to the letter.

There was a knock on the door at that moment and then a very young looking police officer stepped inside.

"Excuse me, Detective Banks, but Captain Newman wishes to speak with you."

Cheryl nodded her head, her heart suddenly beating heavily in her chest. She signed off the tape recording and then indicated that the police officer should remain in the room.

_Rae's dead_ there could be no other reason why the Captain would interrupt her interrogation. Cheryl knew that he had plans to join her once the questioning had gotten underway, why else would he have called her out unless it was to change the charge to first degree murder?

"Ah, Detective, come in, please, and sit down." The captain wasn't alone, Chief Masters was also standing in the room, and Cheryl became even more certain of her facts.

"How is the interrogation going?" It was the captain who asked the question.

"As you would expect, Sir. Little is saying nothing except the things he knows he can get away with and we can prove anyway. His name, address, whether he understands the charges. Nothing earth shattering." She didn't want to answer questions either, she just wanted information.

"I see, so he's already lying then."

"Sir?" Cheryl turned to reply to the chief's slightly cryptic comment.

"Due to the wonders of modern technology we already have a result back on Matthew Little's prints. Except he isn't Matthew Little, or not officially anyway, he is Nicholas Large, aka Dominic Little aka the Red Rose Killer."

"My God." The relief that Cheryl felt became mixed with the amazement at the news she heard and for a moment she was unable to say anything more. Finally though the words gradually came back to her.

"So … if I have Dominic downstairs who the hell is Matthew?"

"I have no idea, Detective, why don't you go and see if you can find out? I'll join you shortly." Captain Newman smiled for the first time since he had heard about his accident prone detective, finally feeling positive about the outcome of the Red Rose Killings.

ooo

"Jesse!" Mark had made his way around the hospital almost like being on a treasure hunt or paper chase. Jesse had been spotted in many different locations, Susan's room, the gardens outside paediatrics, the men's room on the fourth floor and now, finally outside the entrance to the NICU.

"Jesse, just stop for a minute, please." Mark finally caught up with his younger friend and put a restraining hand on his arm.

"Mark?" He paused for a moment, wondering why he was no longer alone, "Jayden is in here, I thought maybe I would sit with him … what do you think? I … I don't know what else to do."

He had no idea what to say, all the expertise that Jesse had would make it very clear to him that his wife was in a critical condition, she had been there before, but somehow this time everyone knew it was worse, that it was going to take more than just good medicine and doctoring to ensure her recovery.

"Jesse, we could go see Jayden, but wouldn't you rather be with your friends, or your own children?" Mark had a hand on both arms now and intended to stay in touching distance of the distraught young man until the results of the surgery were known.

"Shannon … Shannon has Anneya, Damita too, we … we were at a party, I … I had to leave early. Mark, if she dies … what do I do if she dies?"

"I don't know, Son, but right now, right now you just have to hang on in there with everyone else, just as she would do if it were you."

To Mark's relief Jesse nodded his head and slowly let his friend lead him towards the elevator. Neither of them knew what the future would hold, but both of them did know that they would face it, friends and family, together.


	23. Chapter 23

23 **More Questions than Answers**

Cheryl stood for a moment outside the door to the interview room and looked in through the glass at Nicholas Large sitting silently confident just as he had been when she left him. She didn't think that she had ever had to re-arrest and read the Miranda warning to the same person under a different name on the same day before and if she ever had to do it again she doubted that it would be to someone who deserved to be arrested quite as much as this guy.

"Detective Banks, if there's a problem I'm sure my client can come back at a later date." The lawyer, who Cheryl had dealt with before and disliked, stood as she opened the door, speaking before she had a chance to say anything herself.

"No, Mr. Berrian, there's no need for that, but I do need to read your client his rights again, as he has been, shall we say, a little economical with the truth?"

"Are you accusing my client of lying, Detective?" Lance Berrian raised his voice and stood up as he spoke. The young police officer, who was still in the room, moved a step closer to him and he sat back down.

"Let's just get the formalities out of the way again, shall we?" Cheryl had a sheet of paper in her hand which she planned to read from and she glanced quickly at it before beginning the session again by switching on the tape recorder, announcing her presence, the time of day and then looking straight at her prisoner.

"Nicholas Large, I am arresting you for the murders of Mary Sue Evett, Jenna Palmerton, Samantha Morrison, Nadine Browton, Harriet Brown, Krista Barnes, Leigh Anne Mason and the attempted murders of Susan Hilliard and Detective Sergeant Reagan Yeager." Cheryl paused for a moment to compose herself, so many names, so many lives ruined, and she knew that there were another six or seven unnamed victims in LA, as well as those in the other cities, that they knew about.

"You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand?" Cheryl waited and finally Lance Berrian spoke.

"Mr. Little, sorry, Mr. Large, you need to answer the detective."

"Yes."

"Yes, what? Do you understand, Mr. Large?" Cheryl was going to do everything to the letter, to the punctuation marks even, there was no way they were gonna lose this guy not while she was still breathing.

"Yes, I understand." The voice was sullen, like a child who couldn't get his own way, and he was no longer making eye contact with anyone.

The tape was still running, and Cheryl checked the figures on the front of the machine, another ten minutes and it would need to be changed. She should just get this done if nothing went wrong.

"Ok. Anything you do say may be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." The reply came quickly this time, and Cheryl continued.

"You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. Do you understand?" She had glanced at Mr. Berrian as she spoke and saw that he looked a little less confident than before and Cheryl figured that representing this guy had been a short straw assignment.

"If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. Mr. Large, do you understand?"

"Yes, for goodness sake, I'm not stupid!" The temper that she'd seen flash silently as he had been wet and restrained on the fire escape came back with a vengeance and he slammed his fist down on the table as he answered.

"Steady, just take a breath." Lance looked around, saw the uniformed officer and smiled slightly at him.

"If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Do you understand?"

"Well, that's kind of a moot point don't you think, seeing as Mr. Berrian is right here?" Again the temper rose, and Cheryl was pretty sure that as soon as she had finished the lawyer would ask for a few moments alone with his client.

"Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?"

"What do _you_ think, Detective?" The answer was so sarcastic that Cheryl wanted to bang the table herself to let some of her anger go but instead she just took the breath that had been suggested to Large a moment earlier and then spoke again.

"Is that a yes or a no, Mr. Large?"

"No, I am not willing to talk, with or without an attorney present, _Detective."_

"Fine, thank you, if you could sign this then, Mr. Large. It is your rights as I have just explained them to you. That way there can be no misunderstandings in the future." Cheryl slid the piece of paper across towards him, no longer needing it to read the names of the victims from and then watched as, after a long look at his lawyer, Dominic, Nicholas, Matthew, or whatever the hell his name was, signed the form and then folded his arms and Cheryl had to lean over the table to get it back.

ooo

Shannon had gladly handed the two young children over to Jo and Steve's butler when she realised he was going back to Beverly Hills. At a loss as to what to do with her time once she was alone Shannon had quietly suggested to Mark that she sit in the OR waiting room and then come and tell them once Alex was getting cleaned up.

That, and Jesse saying goodbye to his daughter, had been the only interruption after Mark had arrived back in the doctors' lounge until late in the evening. The five of them sat or stood around the room each one of them lost in their own thoughts and memories, unable to talk or make eye contact with anyone else because it would mean having to face up to their own fears and anxieties.

It was Steve who finally broke the silence, standing up and striding out into the hallway, his hands held in tight fists as he strode towards the elevator and then turned and strode all the way back again, the futility of his journey somehow matching his mood.

It was on his fourth or fifth trip that the mechanical doors opened in front of him, almost scaring him to death and then his heart nearly did stop as Shannon walked towards him.

"What? Is … Did she … You have …" Steve's voice stuttered to a halt, he had to pull himself together, he wasn't the one who should fall apart, Jesse would need him to be strong, Jo too. "Shannon, how did it go?"

The young nurse had watched her friend gather himself right in front of her, she saw him almost give himself a talking to, and then ask his question coherently.

"She's in recovery." Smiling in, she hoped, an encouraging way Shannon gently touched his shoulder. "Come on, let's go back inside."

Just those first three words made it impossible for Steve to move. The relief he felt that his partner was still alive was almost overwhelming. "After you." He breathed the words out and then, as Shannon nodded her head in an understanding manner and moved off, he allowed himself a few seconds alone to rejoice in what they had so far.

ooo

The recovery room was silent and almost empty as Doctor Japhur Singh stood at the end of his patient's bed. The young anaesthesiologist hadn't been at Community General Hospital very long, but had worked with both Jesse Travis and Alex Martin regularly. The fact that not only was the woman asleep in front of him married to Doctor Travis, but also a patient and very good friend of Doctor Martin was not lost on him. Japhur wasn't sure if he could have remained as detached and professional as Alex had, and his admiration for his friend increased.

Carefully he checked the readings on the machines especially the ventilator and was pleased with what he could see. Rae Yeager had some awful injuries and he knew that it would take a long time for her to recover, he also knew that any recovery would only be partial, that the broken bones and head trauma would require work for many months, if not years, to come.

A young nurse came over to Japhur to let him know that the only other patient still in recovery was ready to go to his room. Glancing once more at Rae he walked away, knowing that she would still be there when his task was over.

The patient at the other end of the room was awake and becoming disoriented when Japhur arrived at his bedside, and it took him and the nurse a little over ten minutes to calm the man down enough that they felt it safe to hand him over to the care of the orderlies who would be wheeling him up to the Surgical floor. Once he had left the room it seemed very quiet and empty and Japhur happily took the nurse up on the offer of a cup of coffee.

Taking his first mouthful Doctor Singh looked back down towards his patient and was surprised to see a tall figure standing in shadow by her bed.

ooo

Shannon had sat closest to Jesse, knowing that it was he who would be the most anxious for news. She didn't really want to say anything until Steve was back in the room, but also she didn't want to keep anyone else waiting. Shannon knew however, that the tall taciturn detective needed a moment and so she began with the basics that he already had or would be able to work out for himself.

"Rae's in recovery."

"Oh, thank God." It was Mark's voice, he seemingly being the only one able to admit verbally to his first fear, that of the uncertainty of her survival.

"The nurse who came to speak with me said that Rae would be there for at least an hour maybe a little longer because of the severity of her injuries. But …" She stopped as Steve came back in the room, smiled at him and then watched as he sat himself back down next to Jo, taking her hand into his own as he did so.

"Shannon, I'm sorry, please." He couldn't say any more. The need to know was overwhelming him, and his own words were no longer important.

"I couldn't speak with Alex, he went with her to recovery, and then was going to wash up before coming here, but the nurse said that she came through the surgery well."

The relief in the room was palpable and for a moment no one moved or said anything further, but then, carefully, Jesse reached out and touched Shannon's hand.

"Well. She said 'well', not 'as well as could be expected', but 'well'?"

Shannon knew the difference and was pleased that she could nod. "Yes, Jesse, well. Rae came through the surgery well."

No words were necessary then, the five of them sat in silence, knowing that, for the time being at least, they were on the winning team. The relief eased their battered senses and they were able to relax, Amanda even leaning back against the sofa and closing her eyes for a moment or two as Jo leant against Steve and felt his arm go around her, knowing that whatever happened he would protect her and help her through it.

Those feelings lasted precisely ten minutes and twenty-three seconds until Alex stood in the doorway and all their fears rose to the surface once again.

ooo

Walking quickly towards the stranger, Japhur knew that he recognised him but had no idea of his name.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but this is a restricted area." Although almost six foot tall Doctor Singh suddenly felt small and about five years old.

"Yes, yes, I realize that. But my credentials get me into most places that I want to go." The tall man handed over his wallet and, wide eyed, Japhur realised that the television news made this man look smaller and far less impressive than he was in real life.

"This is a sterile area; I can't let you get any closer than you are right now, Sir." He knew he shouldn't even let him remain, should send him out or call security, but Japhur also knew that he couldn't do either of those things and so, pulling a chair over to the end of Detective Yeager's bed, he indicated for the man to sit.

"Thank you. Now, tell me, Doctor, without breaching patient/doctor confidentiality, how is she?"

ooo

"Jesse, she's in recovery, I'm sure Shannon has told you that. Japhur Singh is with her and he'll go up to her room with her in about an hour." Alex had pulled a chair away from the table and was sitting on it the wrong way round, his long legs easily straddling the backrest as his arms rested along the top of it.

"Ok. But I can go too, right?"

"Yes, of course. Jess, she did real well. I'll explain things in more detail when we get to the ICU. She's on a ventilator, and obviously still sedated, but that's gonna be reduced gradually, Japhur wants to see how well she can do on just pain meds and so do I. If necessary we can increase it, but you know as well as I do that some of the tests we need to do can't be done under sedation."

This time Jesse could only nod his head. He wanted more details, but not here, even though these were his closest friends and family he needed to hear them alone, so he could take it all in and then decide what he was going to tell everyone else.

ooo

As Cheryl had imagined Lance Berrian immediately asked for a moment with his client once he thought that the formalities were completed again. She had refused however, wanting first to have fingerprints retaken, photos as well, all in the name of Nicholas Large. Once that had been completed, accompanied by constant moaning and apparently clever remarks from Dominic, or whatever she was supposed to call him, she had finally left the two men alone apart from the officer on the door.

As soon as she got back to the squad room Cheryl rang the hospital, needing to know about her friend as well as wanting to tell Steve just who it was they had arrested.

The switchboard operator put her through without any problems and she relayed all her news before putting the phone down again and beginning to think. Over the next few days and weeks she would be interviewing Nicholas Large a lot. Although LA was a large and violent place she hadn't arrested many signature killers, and certainly not one as malevolent and evil as this man was. Cheryl knew that there was an art to interviewing anyone, that the right questions, tone of voice, body language, were all needed to get the most out of the situation. With this man though she also knew that one slip could be more than catastrophic and so with a deep sigh, and hardly believing what she was going to do, Cheryl made her way to her captain's office.

ooo

"Oh God, Rae!" Even though he knew what he would see Jesse was still unprepared for the sight of his wife lying perfectly still, bruised, bloodied and battered before him.

"Steady, Jess, it's ok. We don't have to go right in, Japhur is with her, we can sit in the hallway for a while." Alex had seen his friend stop in the doorway, watched as his face drained of colour and, experiencing no resistance, led him to a chair just outside the ICU suite.

"Alex?" The one word was a plea, made not by an experienced trauma doctor but by a scared and suffering husband and the younger man found himself, for a moment, unable to look at his pain.

"Alex, please." Jesse's words brought him back from his own thoughts and Alex finally did make eye contact with him.

"You know about her legs, the right side of her body took the brunt of the fall. I think, from what I've seen and read about these types of injury, that she landed on her feet and then just crumpled."

Jesse could only nod. That action had probably saved her life, taking the initial force into her lower body would have lessened the damage to her upper body and head, although he knew that she also had severe brain trauma.

"The right leg had two compound fractures one tib fib, the other in the thigh, and it's been pinned with internal fixation in both instances, including a rod through the marrow. The fragments were too small to do any other type of treatment. The left leg wasn't as badly injured, the compound fracture there isn't as great and should heal reasonably well, so we used external fixation, but I guess you can see that!" Alex looked at Jesse, but knew that still he couldn't turn and face his wife.

"Right now Doctor Sanchez is hopeful that although Rae will probably have a limp on the right side it will take her weight.

"The right hip was badly broken and that will need further surgery. It too is fixed internally, but I think there will be problems with it. It has also pushed the base of the spine out of alignment, there is massive edema there. We can't do anything until that is reduced." Alex stopped talking. Jesse was still listening intently, taking it all in, but he was having trouble relating it to his friend and wasn't sure if he could continue. The list of injuries was so great that he had it detailed on two pieces of paper in his lap. On their own, except the brain trauma and the shock of the actual accident, they weren't life threatening. Together, with the added risk of infection from the compound fractures, she was definitely still in a critical condition.

"Alex, I know you have them written down, and I know this is hard for you. Let me see, I'll ask questions when I'm done."

Mutely the younger man handed over the sheets of paper and then watched his friend as he began to read, glad that the responsibility had been shifted, if only for a short while.

ooo

She had waited almost an hour, going over paperwork on the case, knowing that she would need to be sure of her facts when her visitor arrived. Now the tall man standing in the otherwise vacant office had a sardonic smile on his face and Cheryl swallowed down the sarcastic comment that rushed to her lips and closed the door behind her.

"Agent Wagner, the captain apologises, he's gone to see how Rae is, he was sorry he couldn't wait until you arrived." Cheryl had a feeling that the chief had been to the hospital as well, his secretary had told her he was out of the building when she had called to tell him about inviting the FBI to help with the interrogation, and had been guarded about where he was and when he would return as had Newman when she mentioned the absence to him.

"No problem. I called Amanda before I left home, she's out of surgery, and apparently coped with it well. I don't know any more than that, do you?"

"No, I don't, I wish I did. All I can see is her lying on the ground, the rain beating down on her … God, it was awful." She shuddered and was surprised when Ron moved a little closer.

"Cheryl, sit down, Newman isn't here, I think we could even drink his coffee." A cup appeared in front of her, the creamer and sugar next to that and she smiled up at the tall, handsome black man now towering over her.

"Thanks, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I've seen some bad things in my career, so have you, but when it's a friend it's always a hundred times worse ... Now, Detective, I hear that you require my assistance."

The return to formalities was what Cheryl needed, and she was tempted to stick her tongue out at Ron but that made her think of Rae too and the possibility that her friend may never do that again. This time tears filled her eyes and she was unable to stop them from falling.

"Hey, use this." The voice was soft, the hanky even more so and Cheryl accepted it gratefully, wiping her eyes but not handing it back as she let the tears overwhelm her for just a few more minutes. Finally, hoping that this time she was in control of her emotions, Cheryl looked up.

"Thank you. It's been a long hard day, I have no idea what the time is, or even if it is the same day as it was when I started work."

"It is, well, unless you started on Thursday then it isn't, but it won't be Friday for that much longer either. It is a little after ten."

"Again, thank you." Cheryl took a drink from the coffee, reflected once more on how nice it was when it came from the captain's private jug and then looked across at where Ron, ever confident, was sitting in Newman's chair.

"So, not wishing to cause you more distress, what is it I can do to help you?" It was clear that Ron did indeed want to refrain from upsetting her. His voice was slightly lower than usual, his body language relaxed and friendly.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Cheryl smiled, she wanted to get on to a more comfortable footing with this man, she knew she would need his expertise over the next weeks and months as the case against Nicholas Large was collated and made ready to present in court.

"But."

"But I need your advice, and also your presence on this case. I know Rae consulted with you, well I think I need more than consultation, I need your personal assistance."

"With the Red Rose Killer?" Ron had to admit to being delighted, usually his participation in cases with the LAPD finished with the arrest. This time he would get the chance to see it through to the end. He also felt satisfied; Rae was his friend, now he too would be able to help her out, in his own way, a way that he knew she would approve of.

ooo

Jesse finally looked up from the papers he had been reading and stared at Alex. "I … I don't know where to start."

"I'm not surprised. Look, Jess, now you've read it all, shall I just talk it through?"

He received a nod and so, beginning where he had left off last time Alex began to speak again.

"Ok, I told you about the problems with her hip and spine, her right lung was punctured, all the main injuries are that side; the lung has been dealt with and is reinflating. Jesse, she has severe head trauma, but in the OR she held her own. We were able to just keep on working. She has a broken cheekbone and eye socket, her jaw has been wired to help mend a break there. We had one of the best neurosurgeons in Doctor Guthrie who dealt with the skull fracture while I worked with Loren Sanchez, the orthopaedic guy. Otherwise we would never have gotten so much done in one go."

"Alex, thank you. I know that without you and the rest of the team she would be dead by now."

He didn't say anything, couldn't say anything, Alex knew that Jesse was right. She should be dead, he had no idea why she wasn't, apart from the fact that somehow she had landed on her feet and dissipated the force of the impact that way.

"Come on, we need to go sit with her. Well, you need to sit, I need to check her vital signs and speak with Japhur." Alex mentally shook himself and then got to his feet. He was suddenly very tired, and all he wanted to do was go and find Shannon and then head for the beach house. But first he had duties to attend to, and a friend to see.

ooo

Martin was in the driveway as Cheryl drew in. She could tell instantly that he was agitated and upset and she wondered who it was who had called and told him about Rae.

"Honey, whatever is it? What's wrong?" Instead of putting the car into the garage that she shared with Rae and Jesse, Cheryl just parked and climbed out.

"I … I saw him … again … the man."

Now she was confused, this obviously had nothing to do with Rae and so gently placing her hand on his shoulder she guided him back into their apartment and sat him down on the sofa.

"Ok, slowly, think about your words, what man?"

He did think; some words were fine, he could find them in his mind and use them right away, but others were lost in a maze of other words and phrases and took much longer to locate. This time though he needed names too, and they were the hardest thing of all.

"The man … hurt Rae …"

Her heart sank, he did know, she purposely hadn't called him, hoping that face-to-face she could explain a little better.

"Honey, I know that Rae got hurt … what?" Cheryl stopped talking; Martin was tapping her on the arm over and over.

"No, not finish … and 'Neya, saw him here today."

"Wayne? You saw Wayne?" That got a nod and a smile, he hadn't known his name, Cheryl realised now, and so, taking her notepad out of her pocket, she began asking questions, watching her boyfriend's face light up as she did so, and her heart broke for him again as she realised how much he wanted to feel useful.

ooo

Steve and Jo had sat in the doctors' lounge for over an hour after Jesse and Alex went up to the ICU knowing they probably wouldn't be able to see her, but not being able to go home until it was definite. Mark had given up the fight to stay awake just as his watch beeped eleven o'clock and was now fast asleep in the doctors' sleep room with instructions to be woken should there be any change in Rae's condition.

Shannon was sitting on the saggy sofa, her head resting against one of the cushions her breathing the deep and regular tempo of someone no longer aware of their surroundings. Amanda had gone home to her children when Ron had called to say that the LAPD had requested his presence at North Hollywood. The boys would be asleep, and a neighbour was waiting with them until she got home. She too had left instructions with both Steve and the duty nurse that she was to be called if anything changed.

The only other interruptions had been when Cheryl had called to check on Rae's condition and to tell an amazed Steve that Matthew Little and Nicholas Large were one and the same person. Captain Newman had arrived in person just after Cheryl's call to find out the same thing and tell them the same piece of news. After that they had been left alone, the other doctors on duty in the ER making their way to another lounge when they needed coffee or a place to sit for a few minutes' rest and relaxation.

Finally, when the hours of the awful Friday had ticked away and a new Saturday was beginning to make its presence felt, Alex came back and sat heavily at the table next to Steve.

"How is she?" Steve felt his heart rate increase as he asked the question that part of him didn't want an answer to.

"Alive and she shouldn't be. She fell from a third floor fire escape and somehow, I have no idea what happened to cause it, but somehow, landed feet first. That saved her."

"She grabbed the bars, so she was dangling down … Dominic kick … he kicked her hands and … and she … how did that save her?" Steve pushed the vision away, his hands running roughly through his hair. He knew he would never forget the sounds, the picture of Rae lying so broken at his feet, and he focussed his attention on Alex wanting to hear something positive.

"That explains it. It would have cut down the amount of distance she fell as well as providing her with the buffer she needed." Alex saw confusion and began to explain to them the way that the body had reacted to her fall and impact with the ground. It was clear that both of them, although tired and upset, understood what he was saying and felt his relief.

"So, she saved her own life, that's Rae!" Steve felt a smile tug at his lips, Rae's guardian angel might nod off from time to time, but she seemed to come through when she was needed.

"I guess so, but it's not going to be plain sailing. She's seriously injured, and Jesse said that I could tell you the main parts."

There were no words now, no smiles, just anxious faces as again Alex began to talk, explaining once more about the broken bones, the spinal damage, the severe brain trauma which could still kill her, and would, without a doubt, affect her both mentally and physically. By the time he had finished speaking Jo was crying openly and Alex could tell that Steve was holding himself together by the smallest of margins.

"Guys, I'm sorry, I wish I had better news, but Rae is a fighter, she always has been. She's being pumped full of antibiotics and monitored continuously. No one is planning on giving up on her, not now, not ever."

Steve nodded his acceptance of what Alex was saying, but thoughts turned unbidden into words as he began to speak. "But what if she wants to give up, Alex? What then?"

The young man swallowed hard as he prepared to reply. He looked both his friends in the eyes but before he could answer Jesse's voice came from the doorway.

"If that happens, we rally round each other, as we have always done, and let her go." Then, saying nothing further, he turned and left the three friends to stare at the empty space where he had been.


	24. Chapter 24

24 **The Hours before Dawn**

Steve stood up and strode out of the doctors' lounge, second guessing Jesse and reaching the elevator at the same time as his shorter friend.

"Jess, wait up!" He put his hand over the call buttons and carefully stepped in front of the obviously distraught man and blocked his path.

"No, I have to get back, let me pass!" He pushed on Steve, trying to move him out of the way but failing miserably. "Steve, please, let me pass."

"Not on your own I won't, but I'll come with you, if you'll let me?" Seeing Jesse nod his head mutely Steve stepped back. "I'll tell Jo, will you stay here a minute?" Again Jesse nodded, suddenly not wanting to make the return journey to the ICU alone.

It was only as he made his way back towards his wife that Steve realised how pale she was, how tired looking and he quickly sat back in the chair next to her, pulling her into his arms. "Honey, go home, let me call Juan, you need to be in bed not sitting here in a hard chair."

"Steve, I can't, she's my best friend, what if … if … Jesse's right? I want to get a chance to see her an' say goodbye." The tears began again, still being so close to the surface after Alex's explanation that it seemed to her that they hadn't actually stopped at all.

"Jo, let me drive you. If you explain to Jesse he'll let you see her, or better still wait until the morning and then, when you're rested and more able to cope, you could spend some time with her." Alex had already begun to worry about Jo, and was pleased to be able to offer to run her home.

"I don't know what to do." Her voice was so soft and quiet that Steve's heart broke for her. He pulled her a little closer and, ignoring the vision it presented to him, stroked her hair, murmuring in her ear as he did so.

"Shhh, no one does, not in this situation. But you just had a major operation yourself, I promise you, if anything happens, good or bad, I'll call, ok?" He felt her nod her head against his cheek and he moved slightly to gently kiss her lips.

"Go with Alex, and I'll see you in an hour or so."

"You'll come home?" Jo looked into his eyes, hope sounding in her voice.

"Yes, I'm not family, I can't stay with her and I have to go to the station tomorrow, I can't let Cheryl handle all this alone." Again she nodded at him, but he could see a difference, an acceptance of what he was saying, as long as he joined her soon.

Alex moved over then and carefully they helped her to her feet. "Why don't I get a chair, I can wheel you out to the car, just for tonight?"

"No, no, let me walk, I need to, a little way, so I don't seize up altogether."

Steve kissed Jo again, this time with a little more fervour and then watched as she, Alex and Shannon made their way to one elevator and he returned to where he could see his friend standing, a young nurse talking with him, in almost the same position as when he had left him.

Just for a moment he wished that there was someone to take over his responsibilities, someone to send him off home to bed and worry for him. There was his dad, of course, but he was already asleep, and just as involved as he was himself. Shaking his head Steve almost laughed, he was getting fanciful and too affected by what was happening. He had time for neither emotion, not until no one else needed him to be there for them.

"Ok?" He touched Jesse's shoulder, removing his hand almost immediately.

"Yeah, let's go." He was pressing the button on the control panel as he spoke, over and over again, as if the constant action would cause the elevator to get to its destination quicker than if just left to its own devices. Steve said nothing, knowing that Jesse needed to be doing something, anything; even if it was just the repetitive movement he could see.

Finally, agonisingly slowly, it seemed, the doors opened and both men stepped inside. The journey was silent until they stepped out into the hushed, definitely tenser atmosphere of the ICU and then, as they reached the room next to Rae's, Jesse paused and Steve turned and looked at him.

"Steve, she … I know you saw her when she … when she fell, but … it's, well, it's worse now." Jesse didn't think he would ever forget the sight of his wife when he had seen her in her room for the first time. Her face swollen almost beyond recognition, her body so still, so pale, in comparison to the livid bruises already coming out, so silent apart from the machines breathing for her, and he knew that it would affect his friend just as much as it had him. Jesse saw Steve take a deep breath before making a small step forward, and then together they walked into her room.

ooo

Martin had struggled with his words and emotions, and Cheryl knew that it was only going to get worse. He was upset enough just with the fact that Rae had been attacked in the street, and in anyone else's life that would probably be the worst thing that happened to them, but their friend seemed to attract trouble and the news she had to tell him later would be even worse for him than the information he had given to her.

It was clear that Martin had been thinking about things for a good while. A tablet of paper was on the table and he had suddenly remembered it half way through his conversation, getting up and retrieving it so that he could use it to help him.

Although Martin had been slowed considerably by his accident, his main senses, hearing, sight, smell were still fine. He knew he had seen Wayne before, had definitely heard him and he said the aftershave the man wore was distinctive and he had smelt it in the air a couple of times.

This information was worrying to Cheryl, she knew that the ultimate target wasn't Rae at all, nor Anneya who had also been attacked, but Jo Sloan and she wondered whether there was any connection between this man, the wife of her ex-partner and the murder of their accountant. It was a long shot, but she was paid to look at long shots. Cheryl knew that Jo would be at the hospital with Steve, but Daniel would be home, as well as the butler and so, fearing for their safety, she put a call through to the local police department, introducing herself as she did so.

ooo

The cell itself was dark, the only light shining on the sleeping area enabling anyone outside to see who was where during the night. He was alone, but the man in the next cell, apparently a drug pusher from Barstow, could be heard loud and clear, snoring and grunting. Every time he moved or turned over the entire bed would shift and rattle breaking the silence or merging with his snorts. Matthew didn't think he'd ever felt so alone. Dominic had disappeared inside of him, unable to face the failure of being discovered, of being caught. They had let Nicholas take over when they were questioned, not that they'd had any choice in the matter, but now, as he sat cold and tired but unable to sleep, Matthew had to endure the jailhouse unaided.

The murders had disturbed him, he hadn't been strong enough to stop or prevent the urges, hadn't been able to force his way to the front and become the dominant character when they were on a date, and now he was paying for his failure.

The second interview of the day had scared him. The female detective, so pretty, so tough, hadn't come back alone; she had been accompanied by a tall, black man in a dark suit. He looked menacing, and Matthew had felt very intimidated, retreating further back into himself along with Dominic, letting a more than willing Nicholas take the lead once again.

For a while Matthew sat in the dark, wondering whether to lie down and attempt to sleep or maybe walk around for a while, try and imagine he was back in his apartment with his treasures and memories. Even though he didn't get to his feet the rooms swam into view in his mind, the two bedrooms where he and Dominic slept, and the third one, the room where his special things were kept. The kitchen, the lounge where he had sat watching the news reports of his escapades, the fire escape. He shuddered as he thought of what had happened there that morning.

The tall American cop, the lieutenant, had always bugged Dominic. He was so sure of himself, so confident that he would catch the person they had called the Red Rose Killer, and Matthew knew that, although he would never admit it, for the first time Dominic had been just a little afraid. The female cop, who was English and well known, had excited Dominic who recognised her from the newspapers, remembered seeing her face on TV in the past and he had risen to the challenge of defeating her. The test there had been to beat someone who was famous, someone who was, supposedly, an excellent police officer on both sides of the Atlantic, but to try and kill her, Matthew still couldn't believe they had done that.

_They,_ he could no longer blame it on Dominic, or even Nicholas, who spent most of the time hiding away, guiding things from the background, it was all of them, a combination of all of them who had killed those women, and Matthew knew that if they ever got the chance they would do it again.

If they were free they would get the chance, all those women, flaunting themselves, letting their long hair flow free, long thick curtains of blond hair, shining, almost shimmering as they walked, and just asking for someone like them to take control. Sometimes the hair had been held up in a braid, or with barrettes, and Susan had curled hers, it had fallen onto her shoulders and back bouncing gently as she walked. She had escaped him, taking a route where he was more likely to be discovered, and Dominic had let himself be seduced by her. Followed her into an area where people worked around the clock, where there would be doctors and nurses walking the paths, noticing what was happening, almost all the time. He knew why he had gone along with it of course; it was all down to The One. The One whose hair he didn't have, had wanted so desperately, had tried to find for years, and had finally discovered on Susan. If The One hadn't cut her hair, hadn't planned to leave him, then he wouldn't be here right now, sitting in a jail house, they would have stayed together, and he would have been happy.

All he had ever wanted was for them to be together. She'd said that he was possessive, wouldn't let her live her own life, but that wasn't true. At least it wasn't true when he was the dominant one. _The dominant one,_ who was he kidding? He did come to the front, was allowed to be an individual, like he was now, but there was always a reason for it, just as there was a reason that it was Dominic who arranged and went on the dates, or Nicholas who organized and kept the third room going, spoke to the cops, dealt with things quietly, and, Matthew knew, made his own thoughts, dreams and needs come true through Dominic, and his basic requirements happen through him.

A light suddenly became brighter in the hallway outside his cell, he heard footsteps and then a tall, burly man stopped outside the bars to his small cage.

"So you're the Red Rose Killer, huh? The man who murdered all those women and pushed a cop off a fire escape. I ought to kill you right here and now. But you know what? I won't, because I want to see you squirm, I want to see your sorry butt in a courtroom and then on a closed-circuit TV screen as they pump that lethal liquid into your veins, Boy. I am gonna see you die!"

The light went out again; Matthew retreated inside, hid in the recesses of his mind, and, as no one volunteered to come forward, the figure sitting on the bunk slid to the floor, no longer aware of his location or circumstances.

ooo

He had been warned, told that the way she looked would shock him but still he was unprepared. Steve had put his hand over his mouth, trying to cover the sounds and look of horror so that he wouldn't upset Jesse any more than he already was, but he knew he hadn't succeeded and finally, incapable of looking any longer, he had to turn away and place his forehead against the cold glass of the window, not strong enough to take in what he was seeing apart from the fact that it was more awful than anyone could ever have warned him about.

Jesse didn't go to him; he let him gather himself sufficiently until he felt able to cope alone. Knowing, even in his own distress, that Steve would need the time but not the assistance. Finally, he saw the big shoulders heave one last time and then his friend turned, his face haunted, distraught, and came closer again.

"Tell me." Steve knew that Jesse would have checked the charts, looked at the monitors while he was gathering himself together and he needed the most up-to-date information he could get.

"Things are still the same. It's gonna be a long road, but I meant what I said, Steve. If it comes to that point then I will let go." Although he was strong in his conviction Jesse spoke carefully, walking outside the door as he did so, knowing that there was a chance his wife could hear him.

"If that happens I'll support you, you know that, but you need to remember it will affect a lot of people. If it's a case of turning machines off you are bound to meet some resistance." Steve couldn't believe he was saying these words, but he knew that he had to try and get his point across.

"She's an influential person in so many lives, not just yours and the girls, her other children, even though she doesn't see them very often, she's still their mom, Jo, Dad, Amanda, Alex, Martin, they love her, they will find this very hard, to know that someone is going to flip a switch and condemn her to death will be tough for them to take." _And_ _me_, Steve didn't include himself in his vocalized list, but the thought of Rae no longer being around wasn't something he could deal with, not yet anyway.

"Yeah, I know, but she's fought so long and so hard, overcoming so many things, but this time, this time is the worst ever. She will never recover from this." Jesse let his eyes stray to Rae's face and suddenly couldn't talk any longer.

"Don't underestimate her, and don't do what I just said, don't condemn her, not yet. This is the first day, sure it might get worse, but it will get better eventually, you have to believe that, wait, get over your own shock, and then analyse the situation again, ok?"

Mutely he nodded, but then, his emotions on a rollercoaster, tears filled his eyes. "I don't want to lose her, I won't kill her, pull the plug, whatever, not unless I know there's no hope. She wouldn't want any less of me. Oh, God, Steve, how can we be talking about this?" Jesse pressed his face into his hands and then felt the reassuring strength of his friend beside him. "It's just … I've seen these types of case before, seen what the person, the family has gone through, and then the patient has died anyway. Never gotten past the stage that Rae is at now. I want to be positive, to think of the cases where things did get better, but I can't, all I can see is the wrong conclusion, how can I think like that?"

"Jess, you're a doctor, of course you know the downs as well as the ups. Do you think Dad hasn't felt that way with me? You are so open, so clear in what you're thinking, saying, that it doesn't occur to you to keep this type of thing hidden from your friends. But, I promise you, as far as I am concerned, this conversation never happened, ok? I have no intention of sharing it with anyone, you had to let it out, discuss it with someone, that's done now. Go sit with your wife, and then, in the morning, one of us will come and take over and you can go home and get some rest, and try to put things into a different perspective."

"Thanks, Steve." His face, Steve thought, was a little less anxious, his eyes a little less haunted and, hoping that he had helped, he watched as Jesse walked back into the room and sat beside Rae.

"Jess," he waited until they made eye contact, "tell her I love her and I'm rooting for her, ok?" This time there was a small smile and a nod and then Steve turned away, not knowing what to do next, but realising that he wasn't ready to go home himself, not for a while at least.

ooo

The NICU was quiet and dark, occasionally one of the mobiles above a sleeping baby would glint in the soft lights or the lamp across the nurse's desk. Belinda was sitting, a hot coffee between her hands, wishing that she didn't have to do one set of nights every two months.

She had worked too long in the unit to lose her professionalism, but she did get attached to the babies in her care. As she looked around she could see that the four small bundles that were hers right now were all sleeping soundly, their monitors blinking in the regulatory and reassuring way that they should, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

A noise caught her attention, she knew what it was, but certainly didn't expect to hear it at this late hour. Quietly getting to her feet she made her way out into the room so that she could see the entrance way and scrub area where parents made themselves clean enough to touch their own children.

The tall figure was easily identifiable, even with his back to her and, although surprised, she smiled. Maybe he had just finished a late duty and wanted to see his son before heading home, or maybe he was about to start an early one and planned to begin his day with Jayden. Whatever it was it would be nice to have some other adult company for a little while, even if it wasn't her he had come to see.

When he turned toward her though all those thoughts fled her mind, he was suffering, there was no doubt and so she stepped back into the dimness of a corner letting him pass her without saying a word.

Steve sat at Jayden's crib and let out a huge sigh. Two people in his world, two of the most important, were both fighting for their lives, neither one of them knowing how much everyone was fighting with them. He knew that once she was conscious Rae would know, or would she? It had taken her a while to recover when she had been attacked by an animal rights extremist, but she'd done it. Two assaults on her brain, serious violent assaults, could well be one too many, and he had no idea if she could recover again, she may never know, just as Jayden may never know, how much people were praying for her.

His son moved his left arm slightly, splaying his fingers out and then clenching them again, it was just a tiny movement, just a little action, but it was the one that took Steve over the edge. It was something that any baby would do, a normal reaction to not being quite comfy, and it broke his heart.

Belinda heard the gulp of air, recognised the pain and tears that it contained and moved closer to where Steve was sitting.

"Steve? Is there anything I can get you?" Stupid question, but she didn't want to alarm or upset him any more than he already was.

"Belinda?" He looked shocked, but then immensely relieved, he seemed to almost slump in his chair and alarmed she reached out and touched him.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Yes, oh, yes, please." Although he didn't think he sounded desperate he knew he was, but he also knew that finally he could unburden himself, without adding to any of his friends' or family's worries.

"We have a quiet room for parents, there isn't anyone occupying it right now, why don't we go and sit awhile?" She watched as he got to his feet and then felt his presence as he followed her towards a door at the back of the unit. She unlocked it and let him enter in front of her. Then, switching the sign to say 'in use', she spoke again.

"I just need to get me a replacement for a little while and I'll be back. Steve, get rid of the mask, sit, relax, I won't be more than five minutes." There was no reply but she wasn't surprised, right now Belinda had a feeling that words were beyond the capabilities of Steve Sloan.

ooo

The detective who had come out from Beverly Hills police station had been called Burt McKinley. About fifty years old, he had worn a hat, been more than a little overweight, drank his coffee strong and black and whistled appreciatively at both the house and Cheryl when he arrived. All in all, she thought, he was just the type of officer not to make it onto the recruitment posters.

Before going into the living room, where Martin was sitting on the sofa trying to fill in a crossword in one of the books Rae had bought him, Cheryl told Detective McKinley not to mention what had happened to Detective Yeager, who was a close personal friend, that she would deal with it herself later. She also asked him to take everything slowly, explaining a little of what had happened to her boyfriend, not to make excuses for his behaviour but hopefully to save him pain and embarrassment.

On the first score the cop came through, but she might as well have saved her breath on the second. McKinley had spoken in a slow and exaggerated manner, tapped his pencil on the table as he waited for answers, drank his coffee with an impatient air, even got to his feet and wandered the room, picking up a picture here, an ornament there, and all the time Martin had gotten more and more agitated until, in the end, he stood up as well.

"I was cop."

"Pardon?" Burt put down the display box with the badge inside that indicated just that fact and moved back across the room. "What did you say, Son?"

Slowly Martin repeated himself. "I said I was cop."

"I know that, I saw your badge over there? Guess you're not doing the job any more then?"

"I gardener, nice work, Rae my friend." The smile was still the same; still the old Martin and Cheryl loved to see it, now though it tore at her, making her angry that he was trying to ingratiate himself with this man.

"Don't see why that has anything to do with this. You saw a man; you think he attacked a friend and threatened another. It's taken us what, oooh, about twenty minutes to get this far."

The smile disappeared, and this time his voice was hard as he spoke. "I was good cop … hom … homicide. I interviewed. Sometimes people upset, sometimes like me … slow." He stopped, that was a lot of words, he had to gather himself before he could speak again. The older man just looked at him, wondering what was coming next.

"I was patient. You rude." There, he'd said it. Sitting back down Martin handed over his tablet of paper. "I embarrass you. Read this instead." Then, knowing that a slow walk from the room would kill the effect he rested his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes.

"Ok. Thanks, this is a help. We'll get on it right away. This Jo Sloan, she lives two doors away from you?" It had taken him ten minutes to note down the salient points from Robertson's slightly rambling words.

Burt had said nothing about Martin's outburst, but he had seen the flash of delight in the woman's eyes, and felt the niggle of guilt as he realised that he had let his impatience affect the way he behaved.

"Yeah, she does, but not now, Detective, maybe call in the morning instead." Cheryl knew that however much this needed to be sorted out, one o'clock in the morning wasn't the time. If she was honest it wasn't the time she would have chosen to have another cop call at the house, but Martin would have fretted and worried all night, and so she had decided to start things off at this ungodly hour.

"Ok, but I'll get a squad car to cruise past every twenty minutes or so." He paused a moment, knowing that he had a problem with what he'd read, but finally wanting to treat the young man with some respect. "I've been a cop in Beverly Hills a long time, Sir, Ma'am, I don't see how this guy was missed by other people if he was just watching and waiting. If it was a residential suburb then yeah, no problem, once it gets to ten in the morning most houses are empty or have just moms and babies in them. But here, where it isn't normal by any means, people are coming and going at all hours. Not just the residents, but servants, tradesmen, hairdressers, manicurists, whoever you can think of, to pamper and preen, deliver, and all the other things that rich folks get up to. Why wasn't he seen and mentioned before?"

"I have no idea, but from what was said to various people he's been watching for a while. Mrs Sloan is a wealthy woman; we need to catch this guy." Cheryl could see that Martin's tirade, whilst not angry by anyone else's standards but outright fury from him, had made its point. The detective was speaking to both of them, no longer shouting or enunciating overtly to Martin and she cheered for the positive response.

"I'll be in touch again tomorrow, or today I guess. I can reach you here, Sir? And you, Ma'am?" He wrote down the details, and then as he picked up his hat from the dining room table spoke again. "I owe you an apology, you were right, I was rude." Then without another word he showed himself out as Martin grinned from ear to ear.

ooo

He had no idea how long he had sat on his own, it could have been two minutes, could have been twenty, but Steve was glad of the time to try and regain his composure. If he looked at things rationally he guessed he was suffering a little from shock himself, and he hadn't had a worry free day since Jo had collapsed in the street and been rushed into the hospital. Finally, being honest with himself, he realised that he wasn't sure just how many more emergencies or traumas he could take right now.

"Steve?" The voice, one that made him smile because he associated it with his son, cut into the air and he looked up. A cup of coffee was put on the table next to him and then, to his surprise, a soft hand rested over the top of his.

"You look like you have some things you wanna let out. Anything you say to me in this room stays in this room. I promise you that."

Just nodding Steve picked up the mug. He took two deep draughts from it, concentrating on the feeling of heat as the liquid flowed down inside of him and then, for a moment once he had replaced it on the table, he closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I guess coming to see Jayden wasn't the right thing to do, but I … I didn't want to leave, not quite yet."

"Ok, well, in case you haven't seen, there is even a bed in here; you can rest on there for a while if you like before going home, if you need to that is."

He hadn't noticed, but now that she mentioned it his body almost cried out for relief, for a chance to shut out all the awfulness surrounding him, but he forced it back. "Thank you.

"You know I'm a cop, right?" He saw her nod, he had known she did, it was just a place to start. "My partner, Rae, she's been in here to see Jayden, once, I think." He paused, not wanting to say anything more but knowing that he had to explain, to get into the flow of things but felt relief wash over him as he discovered he didn't have to after all.

"She's the one who was so badly hurt today? Oh, my goodness, Steve, I had no idea, I'm sorry." Her hand had found its way back over his own, and he didn't move away. The warmth and softness was helping him to keep grounded.

"Yeah, I … I was there, I saw it. I could do nothing. Nothing!" He knew, even in his distress not to shout, but his hands clenched into fists, just for an instant before he consciously relaxed them again. "We've been together for seven years; she's one of the best partners' I've ever had, probably the best. My son is lying in there, he came early, and there was nothing I could do then either, nothing medicine could do to keep him where he should be. God, Belinda, I feel so helpless, so alone, I have no idea how to help my wife, my son, my friends … I have no idea how to help myself."

"Oh, Honey, shhh." The term of endearment sprang easily from her lips, she was a friendly, compassionate person, who always helped if she could and, as she saw a tear fall onto his cheek, Belinda put her arms around him and felt him lean into her as his shoulders heaved, and finally, she thought, he let things go.

The tears hadn't lasted long, he didn't cry easily and he was always aware of the need to stop when they did start. Belinda had said nothing to him as he sobbed, she had hardly moved, just holding on to him and letting him follow his own lead. Now though, as he looked up shame faced, she smiled and shook her head.

"There is no need to look like that; I think you needed to do that way more than even you realise. We can't be strong all of the time, even though we would like to be. Everyone feels helpless sometimes, but it takes a big man to admit it. You have to let things out every once in a while, everyone does."

"I know … but I've always been that way. Dad, Amanda, Jesse, they've all told me to let go, but they've needed me to be there for them too. And now …"

"Now you have two sons instead of one, you have a wife who is recovering from major surgery as well as the shock of having her baby in the NICU. You have your partner in Intensive Care and you're still trying to be the rock that everyone can lean on." She stopped as he looked at her, a rueful smile on his face, but soon spoke again.

"You know those little stones you see lying around all over the place?"

"Where?"

"Oh, everywhere you go, in the parking lot, at the park, on the beach."

He nodded, looking confused, "Well, they used to be part of big rocks too once. But they got chipped away at and chipped away at until the rock itself no longer existed. Each time you help someone, give of yourself you need to be kind to, and think of, Steve Sloan as well. Even if that means just sitting watching the sunset alone, or taking ten extra minutes in bed on a Sunday morning. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah I do, although I've not thought of it in that way. What else I need is someone, now and then, to just talk to, someone not involved. This time you draw the short straw, I'm sorry, but thankful too."

"Those other straws must have been all the same length as the one I chose." Her smile was beautiful, it lit up her face and he was able to smile back.

"I know how you feel to a certain extent. I work with seriously ill babies; the stress sometimes is overwhelming especially when there is nothing we can do except ease their path through this life and into the next. I'm not the best at following my own advice, but I'm glad you came here, I'm glad you opened up a little bit. If you need to do it again, just give me a shout. Now, if I were you I'd lay me down for about thirty minutes and close my eyes. Especially as there is a ravishingly beautiful, dedicated and efficient nurse nearby who would be happy to come wake you and send you on your way."

Steve appreciated the lightening of the mood, he appreciated her, and wished he had the courage to tell her that yes, she was beautiful and he was glad he'd come to her as well. Instead though he carefully extricated himself from the blue gown, lay down on the neatly made bed and closed his eyes, knowing that he had found what he wanted, a safe place to let things go without hurting or upsetting anyone. And even with all the unhappiness that surrounded him right now he knew he was still a very lucky man.


	25. Chapter 25

25 **Threats or Promises?**

By the time the sun came up on the Saturday morning those closest to the case and its players had begun to gradually accept the horror of the previous day.

Steve had slept for the thirty minutes he allowed himself, waking up just before Belinda came to get him. His thanks had, hopefully, covered the embarrassment he now felt, but he also knew that he had needed the time and privacy to do what had been done and his heart, although still heavy, was considerably lighter than it was when his visit with Jayden had begun.

He had driven home through almost deserted streets, followed a squad car past the familiar homes of his neighbours, and become concerned as it slowed a little past his own gates, but he was indicating to turn in and guessed they were just checking him out. Jo had already gone to sleep, as had the rest of the household, but a loving note was on the hall table and he'd read it with a smile before grabbing himself a drink of water and then climbing the stairs to join her.

Jesse had dozed on and off in the chair by his wife's bedside, coming to with a start each time he subconsciously realised that he was asleep. He knew that Rae wouldn't wake, would feel no pain, but still he had to be there, to support her in the best way he could.

Japhur had come in a little after six to say that he was going to continue reducing the sedation levels, and would be making regular visits to check on her. He had cleared his schedule of all operations for the next few days, wanting to keep an eye on Rae and also the male patient from the previous day who seemed to be violently allergic to the meds he had received.

Rae's bruises and injuries were more pronounced, but Jesse knew that it was only day two, and that they would increase in lividity until the fourth day at least. Alex was back on duty at ten in the morning and Rae had an appointment for a MRI scan at ten-thirty. The main areas of concern were her face, hip and lower spine. The corticosteroids that had been prescribed were helping reduce the swelling and Jesse knew that although a diagnosis would still be difficult Alex would want to touch every base, at least once, in the treatment of his friend.

From what Jesse could see Rae had definitely landed right leg first, probably only by a millisecond, but that was all it had taken for that side of her body to bear the brunt of the fall. With his training in emergency medicine Jesse could picture the way her body had crumpled as it struck the asphalt. Her right leg would have jolted underneath her, causing the open fractures, her hip would have slammed into the ground, then her shoulder, before her face hit, hard, probably bouncing up and then hitting again.

He closed his eyes, that type of image he could do without. He needed to be positive, he knew that Steve had been shocked yesterday, and he had disgusted himself too, when he had talked about letting her die if she didn't respond to treatment and it was suggested as an option. Now he didn't see it that way at all, he knew Rae would fight with every fibre of her being to survive and be with her family again, and he also knew that although he had needed to examine his feelings about the difficult decisions he may have to make that need had passed and he wouldn't mention it again.

The night staff were out in the hallway handing over to their day shift colleagues and Jesse stood up to stretch cramped muscles and get himself another cup of coffee. He was hungry, but didn't want to leave Rae alone, and knew that he could probably last another hour or so before the need for food would become all encompassing.

The coffee smelt wonderful as he went quickly into the doctors' lounge for that floor and he knew that the first task assigned to the new staff had already been completed. Freshly brewed, and kept hot all day. He poured the liquid into his cup and then turned to make his way back to Rae's room. At the same time the doors to the elevator opened and Mark, looking just a little less dapper than usual, stepped out.

"Hi." The one word, although whispered, and the smile that accompanied it, lifted Jesse's spirits and he smiled back.

"Hi, yourself, coffee? It's fresh." Jesse watched as Mark nodded and made his own way into the doctors' lounge, emerging a moment or two later with his own steaming mug. Then the two friends went into Rae's room together, Mark holding his feelings in check as he saw his friend for the first time.

Jesse moved his chair closer to the bed and took Rae's left hand into his own. It felt warm, as soft as always and he realised that it was one of the few parts of her body that hadn't been scratched, bruised or injured in some way. Mark was reading the details on the chart and checking the figures on the various machines and monitors. Jesse didn't interrupt him, knowing them all almost off by heart, so little had they changed overnight.

Finally, with a deep sigh Mark looked up. "Jess, I am so very sorry."

"Yeah, I know. But she'll pull through, yesterday I couldn't see that, but today I can't consider it any other way, I know that it's just see-sawing emotions, I guess they'll sort themselves out in the end just like Rae will."

Mark could only nod. He wasn't sure what Jesse was talking about but spending all night in the doctors' sleep room meant that he had probably missed some things.

As he prepared to speak again Mark saw a movement outside the door and looked up to see two uniformed officers being stationed one each side of the entranceway.

"Jesse?" Maybe this was another one of the things he had missed and he appealed to his younger friend before asking any questions.

"What? Oh, uh, what's going on?" Carefully he laid Rae's hand on the bedcover before standing and moving closer to the two men and then, seeing Captain Newman standing waiting for him looking grim, he indicated for the man to speak.

"Doctor Travis, Doctor Sloan. I'm sorry to intrude again."

"That's ok, you know you can come see her anytime, but I don't understand, why does she need a guard?" What Jesse said was true, but he also had a feeling that, even though he didn't understand, he did know it wasn't good.

For a moment Jim Newman wished he was somewhere else. He had to steel himself to make eye contact with the young man in front of him.

"There have been some threats."

"Threats? I don't understand, from Dominic? The guy's in custody, her other main case was the killing of the janitor in the same building, why would there be threats?" Jesse looked first at the grim face of Rae's superior officer and then at the concerned countenance of his own boss. "Tell me."

"It seems that Nicholas Large has quite a following in LA, other places in America, and beyond. Local fan mail began arriving for him this morning at the county jail and some of it threatened not only Rae but Steve ... He knows, Doctor Sloan, I called him before coming here." Newman had seen as well as heard Mark take in a breath and hurried to reassure the older man.

"Why would people write to him? You said fan mail, as in, they like what he's done?" Jesse sounded totally astounded. "How can anyone be anything but disgusted and sickened by what that man did?"

"Doctor Travis, trust me, there is always someone out there who is more depraved or evil than the worst you think you will ever see. I wouldn't be surprised if, by the end of the week, we have marriage proposals coming in too."

"Oh you're kidding!"

"No, Jesse, he isn't. I hadn't had time to think through what would happen, but I'm not surprised." Steve had joined them without being noticed by any of the three men but all of them looked at him the moment they heard his voice, noting the uniformed officer standing three steps behind him.

"Right now we have people, anonymous of course, who have threatened to finish what Large started by killing Rae and me." He paused and then turned to his companion. "This is Lee, you'll be seeing quite a bit of him I would imagine."

The young man just nodded, his eyes scanning the general area although they were all aware that he wasn't missing a word that was said as he did so.

"I met him here, Jo doesn't know about the threats yet, I'll need to approach it with her carefully, I called David though and apparently we already have a guard on the house, Jess, I'm guessing you'll have one as well." He didn't wait for an answer, he wasn't really sure if his friend could take much more, and so instead he carried on talking. "How is she?" Steve let his eyes rest on his partner's still form. He knew she would look worse before she began to look better, and that she would still be non responsive, but even so he willed her to move, just a slight ripple of her fingers, anything, but there was nothing.

For a moment he was somewhere else, no longer in the hallway but in one of those beds, with his own guard on the door. He had been in the ICU because Gordon Ganza had ordered a hit on him. Three bullets had slammed into his chest and stomach although he was unable to remember it happening. What he did remember was that, gradually, over a period of time which had no meaning to him, he had realised that he was alive, in a hospital bed and then, finally, there was someone standing next to him. He had been so sure, in his muddle-headed way, that it was his dad, but he had been wrong. Jesse had smiled down at him, carrying on with his doctoring until finally the tube had been removed and he could ask the question that burned in him, where was his dad?

The horror began then, in that moment, when Jesse told him what had happened. It turned out ok in the end, but Steve knew without the help of friends and family his father would have died. A shudder went through him and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Son?" Mark's voice was soft and full of concern.

"Sorry, I'm ok, I was just … sorry." He couldn't say, couldn't tell them, where he had been.

"Sloan, I would ordinarily recommend a week's personal leave, but you know that in the circumstances I can't do that." Newman looked concerned, the strain the man in front of him was under had to be enormous, but there was no way he could spare him at the moment.

"No, Sir, I understand that. Jess, can I sit with her? Just for a little while, Sir?" He looked at the two men and saw them both nod. He couldn't say anything further and so, without another word, he moved cautiously into the room and sat by his partner's bedside; his guard taking up position in the hallway.

ooo

Jo had been driven to the hospital by Steve, but instead of going up with him to see her friend she had two other places to go. There was no way that she could sit with Rae if she hadn't seen her own child first. But even before that, finally, after just over a week, she was having her stitches taken out.

Jo wasn't a fool, she knew that she would still hurt, but the pulling, the uncomfortable feeling that something was shrinking, would be gone. She had known that all of her friends would be either with Rae or not on duty. Alex had worked way over his hours the day before and had told her, as he drove her home, that he wouldn't be in until ten. Mark and Jesse, she was sure, would be in the ICU, but Wil Collins was on duty and she had gratefully followed him into an exam cubicle, appreciative of at least a friendly face.

There had been no complications and she had been sitting with Jayden in her arms almost before she realised it. The photos that Steve had taken the day their son had been born were now on display at home, and she was surprised to see how much he had grown and developed in the eight days that he had been in the NICU. Steve had told her he had spoken with Belinda and she had been a great help. Jo was sorry to see that the nurse wasn't on duty; she had wanted to thank her. Her husband didn't let his feelings out very easily but right now Jo knew he would drown in them if he didn't have someone he trusted. The fact that he had found that someone cheered her enormously, especially as she knew and felt so at home with her herself.

Jayden's progress was almost textbook and Jo knew everything was going just as it should be at this stage. She had been a mom to a baby for over a week, and the initial sense of failure had finally started to diminish. Slowly and carefully she began to change Jayden's diaper, putting it to one side to be weighed and then the little boy was put back in his isolette while the contented mom expressed enough milk for the day. Once Jo had fed him herself, enjoying the job so much that she thought she would burst, he was carefully laid down to sleep and, willing herself to be strong, Jo made her way to the ICU.

ooo

Cheryl was also at Community General Hospital. She wasn't there to see Rae, knowing that as just a work colleague she had no chance of getting near her. She had, however, put in a request to Captain Newman that she might be put on the guard list, which would at least allow her a few hours supporting her friend. Now though she and Ron Wagner were going to speak with Susan Hilliard and try and get a more detailed account of what had happened to her.

Rae had spoken with Susan, they both knew that, but the case was no longer hers and they needed a first hand version of events from the only living witness of the Red Rose Killer apart from Rae, who was slightly different.

The man sitting with Susan stood as they arrived, both of them showing their ID to the guards posted on the door as he did so. Susan hadn't been specifically mentioned in the threats but Jim Newman wasn't taking any chances, he needed Susan, not because the evidence wasn't compelling, it was, but because she added a human face to the suffering that the victims had endured.

They were expected and Cheryl watched as the visitor, who she knew was Susan's husband, kissed his wife on the cheek and then made his way out of the room, stopping by Ron Wagner as he did so.

"She slept well last night but the guards have got her spooked this morning. Look, I know I can't stay, and I don't want to put any extra pressure on her so I'll be in the cafeteria if you need me."

Nodding mutely they made their way into the room.

"Hi, how's Rae?" The first words were not for herself but for a woman she had, until recently, seen only as a rival, now though she was just concerned for her wellbeing. Although they didn't know it Susan's voice was much stronger than it had been, she was still in pain but was, physically, recovering well.

"As far as I know she's still sedated. I doubt there'll be any change until later today." It was Ron who spoke, reiterating what his wife had told him when he had asked her the very same question just over an hour earlier.

Amanda wasn't working until the Monday, but she planned to take it easy during the day so that she could come and sit with Rae overnight and let Jesse sleep properly. Ron would be home with the boys and then they would go out for the morning at least on the Sunday so that she too could catch up on her rest.

"The man who came to see me, Captain Newman, he said you caught him, you caught Nika." The terror in Susan's face was something both Ron and Cheryl had seen many times before. The naked fear that nothing, apart from time and therapy, would help diminish, but Susan was lucky, not that she would feel that way right now, her attacker had been caught, many men and women never had that knowledge to cling to.

"Yes, we did, but his name wasn't Nika, we think he only used that to lull you into a false sense of security. He's used a lot of aliases over the years; it appears it was just the latest one.

"Oh." She had no idea what else to say.

"Susan, over the next month or so we're gonna need to speak to you quite a few times. Today is to get you to look at a photo array, give us a brief reiteration of what happened and to let us know if you have thought of anything else since you spoke with Rae." Cheryl had taken her notebook out of her pocket and slipped the photographs she had with her out of their protective travelling place.

"I … I've been trying not to think about it, y'know? They're giving me something to help me sleep and it seems to stop me dreaming, so if I can keep my mind on other things during the day I can almost pretend it didn't happen." Her hands were plucking at the bed sheets and it was clear that her pretence wasn't working at the moment.

"Well, we need you to think about it, just for a little while. But first of all I want to say that any time you need to stop just tell us. We can do this gradually, one step at a time, a case this big isn't gonna come to court quickly."

"Ok," Susan nodded her head and then thought of something, "I … I'll have to face him, in court I mean."

"Yes, probably, but it can be a healing process, seeing justice being done, knowing he's going to be judged and sentenced for what he did to you. You'll also have had counselling by then, that'll help too." Ron spoke now, he had interviewed quite a few victims for some research he was undertaking and most of them said how an experience they'd dreaded had actually helped them as long as they had a therapist to turn to after the event.

"Ok." Again the one word, but it seemed that this time she believed what she was saying and, with as deep a breath as she could manage, she looked at the two officers in front of her. "What do you want to know?"

ooo

The medical wing at the county jail wasn't sparse, but it certainly wasn't luxurious by any means. Matthew had woken up in a private room, a guard on the door and a camera pointing at his head.

He had no idea how he came to be in this room rather than his cell and he had lain in the not very comfortable bed for almost ten minutes going over the last things he remembered before he realised what had happened and his mind went back to when he had fainted like that for the first time. It was when he was a child and newly fostered out to a family who lived just outside of Bakersfield. He had been five or six years old, and they had lived in what, on first sight, was an almost ideal location.

It had been a smallholding, chickens, a cow or two, some horses, even a donkey looking over the fence as he had been driven up in his social worker's car. The family had come out to meet him; there had been a mom, a dad, two boys and a little girl of about three. He had thought that heaven was waiting just inside the main entranceway until the car had driven away again and his world changed.

He had found that the chickens needed to be let out each morning and fed twice a day. Their eggs had to be collected and the hen house cleaned out. That had been the first chore allocated to him, but gradually he had been given other jobs, taking them over from the two elder boys until they lay in bed every morning while he got up and worked. Whenever his social worker called he was pampered, but it didn't happen very often and for the three years he was there he felt put upon and victimized.

The father had been the bully of the household, everyone else, in one way or another, lived in fear of him. His constant accusation of the scared young boy had been that he 'wasn't Matthew' and although he'd had no idea who Matthew actually was, he had tried so hard to become him that, in the end, he found a quiet, self-effacing part of his personality that responded to the name and tried valiantly to diffuse difficult situations as or before they arose.

The fatal day had been warm, sunny and there was a rainbow across the far meadow. The rain wasn't heavy, just enough to turn the dirt dark brown for a second or two before it began to dry again. He had broken two eggs that morning while out collecting from the chickens that scratched and pecked about in the dust of the farmyard and had tried to hide his clumsiness.

He knew that he hadn't succeeded when a roar was heard from his foster father and Nicholas, who had been the one to cause the problem, retreated, wanting to leave Matthew to face their pa. When he saw the large man striding towards him, his belt already in his hand he too had fled, and he remembered nothing else until he woke up in the local hospital, a different social worker at his bedside telling him that he wouldn't have to return to his family.

This time the person who came into the room wasn't a social worker but a prison warden. He took his pulse, his blood pressure and then wrote on a chart. Matthew wanted to disappear but knew that this type of man was the sort to be left to him to deal with and so, swallowing down his fear, he waited to see what would happen next.

ooo

There was a police officer standing at the end of the driveway to Jo and Steve Sloan's house and Wayne was unsure what to do. He had put the next stage of his plan into action, wanting Josephine to feel vulnerable, to know that he could attack her from all sides, get to her family, her friends, anyone that he chose, and she would have no way of stopping him.

Of course, having a member of the Beverly Hills Police Department standing outside the house wasn't gonna help his cause any and so, driving away, he began to rethink things.

The mail was sitting on the hall table when Daniel came down the stairs a little bleary eyed and looked around him. He had tried to stay awake until his dad got home the night before, but as he couldn't remember hearing him realised he must have failed. Daniel knew that his parents would have both left for the hospital before he got up, and although he was disappointed not to see them he wasn't surprised.

David was on his cell phone as he walked into the morning room and so he left again, going to find Juan to ask for some fresh toast. Seeing an envelope addressed to him he grabbed it and began opening it as he made his way into the kitchen.

By the time he reached the table that Juan used for his own meals he needed to sit down and the Spanish butler, turning around at the sound of company, was concerned to see a look of fear on the boy's face.

"Master Daniel, is something the matter?" His accent always made his questions seem less formal, softer somehow and right now that helped his young companion enormously.

"Yeah, take a look at this, but don't pick it up. Then we need to go get in touch with the local cops." Daniel put the piece of paper down on the table and, with sudden inspiration, picked up the clear heatproof glass pot-rest from the counter beside him and placed it over the paper, protecting it from stray fingerprints and contamination.

_So, Daniel,_

_I have scared your mom and your mom's best friend so far. I wonder who will be next._

_Your school is very expensive, very well run, but can they protect you at all times? How lucky you are to be on vacation right now. Of course, there is your new little brother. He is only in an ordinary NIC Unit. What are the chances of me getting to him there I wonder?_

_The police know who I am; I told that Doctor Travis my name, but they won't find me, I'm way too good for them._

_Have a nice day_

_Wayne_

"How can I tell Mom about that?" Daniel's voice was quiet, scared and quiet and the detective sitting across the table from him didn't reply.

"Have you any idea what this Wayne looks like?" Burt McKinley had explained to Daniel and a man who said his name was David Walters and was the boy's uncle, that he had been contacted by a near neighbour of theirs about a Wayne McCaulay and it appeared that this was the same man.

"I know what he looked like a few months ago. He came here, visited with Mom, and then Dad threw him out. M was here then, he would know what he looked like too."

"M?" the detective looked up sharply as Daniel spoke.

"He was Mom's butler before, but we found out that he was her brother too, or at least her half brother, and so obviously he couldn't work for us anymore, so he left and now we have Juan. He's Uncle David's brother too."

"Juan is?" Burt was confused now.

"No, M. M is Mom and Uncle David's half brother. He's British."

"I see." He didn't, but he would check for himself later. "And this Wayne, why do you think that he's targeting your mother, which seems to be the case from his letter?"

Daniel was quiet for a while but then, knowing that the man wouldn't be caught otherwise, he began to speak. "He thought I was his son, but I'm not. I was four years old already when his baby would have been born. For some reason he started to stalk my mom after the first visit. He's not entitled to anything; I don't know why he's doing it. And Rae, he hurt Rae, she had Anneya with her, she's deaf, and he hurt her too."

Burt wanted to scream, scratch his head, go out and come in again, but knew that he couldn't do any of those things. He was writing down everything that this young man was saying but it sounded like an impossible puzzle, the type that ends with 'if Wayne is thirty-six when M is forty-eight how old is Uncle David?' He was going to have to draw himself a family tree when he got back to the station.

"So, where are your mom and dad right now?"

"My mom has gone to sit with Rae, she was hurt yesterday morning, Dad'll be there too for a while, and then he'll go to the station. If Mom isn't with Rae she'll be with Jayden."

"Who is Jayden?" Another name, he couldn't believe that there could be others still that he didn't have noted down.

"He's my baby brother." Despite the seriousness of it all Daniel couldn't help but smile, just as he always did when he thought of the little boy.

"He's the one in the letter, so he is in the NICU, yes?" He breathed a sigh of relief as the boy nodded his head.

"Ok, well I need to speak with your parents, I'll go over to the hospital, and get a guard put on your brother, I'll also put another man on the gate, but I would suggest that maybe a security guard on patrol in the grounds might be a good idea for a while at least."

"I'll get on that right away. Do you have any local companies that you could recommend to me?" David hadn't said a word, letting Daniel deal with the problem, knowing that was the way the young man would want it, but now, now that there was something that he could organise, he was happy to spring into action. He would also, although he hated to do it, send Damita down to her mother at the hotel she was staying in. He didn't want his baby girl in danger, imaginary or otherwise, but he had no intention of leaving his sister and her family in that situation either. Steve was busy, stressed and busy, and if he could help then that was what he would do.

ooo

The trip for Rae to have her MRI scan had taken its toll on her. The actual scan had been fine, her sedation levels still high enough that she didn't realise that she was once more in a contraption she called an open-ended coffin. By the time that her bed was back in her room though she was clearly distressed, the readings on the reconnected machines were erratic and Alex had a crash cart brought in just in case.

Japhur had also come to Rae's room and Jesse had moved out into the hallway. Steve had gone into the station and now Mark, who wasn't on duty until the afternoon, and Jo were sitting on two nearby chairs waiting to see what happened next.

Gradually the fevered activity in the ICU suite seemed to die down. The atmosphere emanating from the room changed and, from their vantage point, the three friends could see the two doctors treating Rae weren't as concerned as they had been. Once two sets of vital signs showed her condition was stabilizing Jesse and Jo were allowed into the room and Mark went off to see his grandson.

Gradually the day moved on, Jesse went and got some food, he sat in a quiet corner of the cafeteria and ate undisturbed, his colleagues seeming to realise that he needed the peace not their company. As he sat there Jesse tried to feel positive about everything that was going on. He knew that Amanda was going to sit with Rae overnight so that he could go home, sleep in his own bed and see his children, and although part of him didn't want to leave he knew that the two little girls needed him far more than Rae did right now.

By the time Alex and Japhur came to check on Rae at four in the afternoon Jo had gone home, her own anxiety levels now sky high because not only had Daniel been threatened but Jayden as well. Finding a police guard on her week old son had been traumatic enough, but when Daniel had explained what had caused it she had clung to him, tears falling onto his shirt as they tried to comfort each other.

Amanda was on her way into the hospital, calling en-route to see if Jesse needed anything, but the knowledge that already there was a support structure in place to help him had been enough and he had said that all he needed was her company.

The room was silent apart from the shushing of the ventilator and the occasional beeps and clicks from other machines and Jesse moved slightly out of the way, knowing that Alex was going to check Rae's responses, to see how deeply unconscious she was.

The sedation had been completely out of her system for a little over two hours, all that she was being given was a strong painkiller, an equally potent antibiotic, saline and ringers as well as vitamins and minerals. Her heart rate, which had dropped dramatically on her return from the imaging suite, was steady once more, but it was obvious that the trauma she had suffered on just that short journey meant that any further trips would be thought about extremely carefully including the one for surgery on her hip.

"Jesse, I know you want to stay, but I need you to go wait someplace else, just for ten minutes or so." Alex placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. He was going to have to hurt Rae to do the test, and he knew that Jesse would find that very hard to bear. He wasn't sure how he felt about it himself, but he knew it wasn't good.

"Alex, what if she responds, what if she wakes up?" The words were so filled with hope, hope that both of them, realistically, knew was futile that for a moment the younger doctor couldn't answer but then taking a deep breath he looked at Rae before speaking.

"Then I will have you back here so fast you won't even realise you've moved."

Jesse nodded, he didn't want to go, but equally he didn't want to stay, he'd done Glasgow Coma Scale tests on patients many, many times. He'd done one on Steve when he'd been in the ICU, it wasn't something he wanted to do again, not to a friend at any rate, and so, appreciating Alex's position, he turned and left the room, looking warily at the guards as he did so, but only walking until he was out of sight of the doorway before sitting down to wait.

"Ok, let's get this done." Alex's voice was tight and Japhur looked at him.

"Are you alright, I can assist if you wish?" He didn't move closer, not wanting to embarrass his friend.

"Could you write down the scores for me that would be the biggest help?"

"Sure, do you do eye, verbal, motor?" He wouldn't usually ask, but one doctor at the last hospital he'd been at did them in reverse order for some reason.

"I do, so it'll be eye first." Taking in a deep breath Alex looked at Rae, her eyes were closed as they had been since he'd first seen her in the ICU. He had talked to her quietly the entire time he was with her, first as he assessed her condition, in the OR as he stabilized and then treated her, and each and every time he checked her vital signs. So far there had been no response, but he hadn't really been looking for, or trying to entice, one. Now that had changed.

"Rae." He said it in as normal tone of voice as he could, but there was no response at all. "Rae!" he tried again, a little louder before finally shouting. "RAE!" Still there was nothing and so he took her left hand into his own and, remembering back to when he had treated her for a neck and shoulder injury, he pinched the nail bed of her thumb as he pulled it away from her hand. Instantly her eyes opened, although they didn't look at him, and he wrapped his own hand around hers, trying to reduce the pain he had just caused.

"That's a two then?" Japhur made a note, wishing it could have been a three or a four, but happier with a two than a one.

The verbal responses were going to have to be noted down as a one because Rae was still on a ventilator, still needed to be on it, and so no sounds could be made. Alex was about to say as much to Japhur when he realised that, despite the ventilator, now her eyes were open Rae was trying, desperately, to communicate.

"Honey, you're on a ventilator, I can't remove it yet, but when I can we'll talk, ok?"

She seemed to know what he was saying, although still she didn't move her eyes so that she could see him, but there was a huge difference between understanding someone else and being able to be understood herself. "Put it down as a three. She would be speaking if she could, but it might be gibberish."

"But incomprehensible sounds get you a two." Japhur had seen the same thing as Alex and had already written down the number two.

"Yes, I know, but she's reacting to my words. Leave it as a three."

"Ok." He knew Alex had done more of these coma scales than he had and so he deferred to the other doctor.

Once again Alex took Rae's hand, and this time taking her index finger did the same test as before. Her eyes opened wider, it was clear that the pain registered immediately and she pulled at her arm, trying to move it out of Alex's grip.

"Four, she feels it and she doesn't like it. Her pull was quite strong."

"Ok, four it is, that gives you a total of nine, split up as E2V3M4 GCS9." The anaesthetist looked up. He knew that a score of eight meant severe brain injury and that nine only just put her in the moderate bracket. She would need to score at least thirteen the next time to be considered as suffering from a mild brain injury.

Now that the test was completed Rae's eyes had closed again. Alex indicated that Japhur should get Jesse and then he spoke again.

"Rae, this is Alex, Jesse is coming back into the room now, and he would love to see you with your eyes open, Honey, can you do that?"

There was no response, and Alex raised his voice again, "Rae, look at me."

"Rae? Please, Baby, open your eyes." Jesse's voice was breaking as he spoke, he was standing on his wife's right side, and that eye was so badly bruised and bloodied that he knew she wouldn't be able to see out of it, but her left one was less damaged, and he desperately wanted her to look at him, if only for a second.

"Rae, I love you." The tears threatened him as, for a moment, she opened her eyes, "That's it, I'm here, Rae, right here … I'm …" He stopped speaking, the right eye was too swollen to see into but the left, with just a little puffiness, was open wide enough for him to realise that it also had the blank stare of someone who saw nothing, nothing at all.


	26. Chapter 26

26 **No Light at the end of the Tunnel**

Rae lay in a coma for another three weeks; the various doctors responsible for her visiting with her regularly, carrying out their tests and suggesting further treatments. Jesse and Alex, working together to ensure that she received the best of care, discussed each and every idea and included Mark as well, needing his experience and expertise.

Her neurosurgeon was cautiously pleased with her progress, the blood flow and oxygen levels had levelled out and remained steady within her brain, and the shunt that he had decided against inserting during her initial surgery hadn't been needed. The swelling had been addressed with extremely strong medications. Some drew fluid out of her brain and into the blood vessels, while others decreased its metabolic requirements and a third one was used to increase the blood flow into the brain diminishing the spiral effect caused by the swelling. These treatments seemed to be working; the intracranial pressure monitor had showed acceptable readings since the fourth day of her care.

Because of the reduction in pressure her eyesight was improving. Gradually it became clear that, although unable to vocalize it, she was seeing movements and then faces before her. The subsequent CAT scans showed that the swelling caused by the broken bones in her face had reduced as well and as that happened in conjunction with the improvements in brain function her vision returned. Her levels of consciousness were also increasing, but she was still classed as being in a coma and critically ill.

ooo

Jesse had got into a routine of working a mid-morning to mid-afternoon shift, slightly shorter than his usual hours, to enable him to fit in all his other responsibilities. He would visit with his wife for a little while before his shift started, talking with her about what the children had done the previous day, and any other information that he thought she might find interesting.

After his shift was over he would, every other day, return and stay for three or four hours, helping with the limited physiotherapy she was receiving and watching for any small movement or change that might be taking place. He would then drive home to Beverly Hills and spend a short while with his daughters before they went to bed.

On the days that he didn't remain at Community General, when one of their friends would be with Rae, he would arrive home in time to listen to Eliana's lively chatter about school and also talk with his youngest daughter about what she had done, eating dinner with them and enjoying their company. The sign language was getting easier to both perform and understand and Jesse tried not to think about whether it would be needed for him to converse with his wife.

He had received a telephone call at the hospital on the Monday after Rae's accident from Miss Vicki, who had returned the previous evening from her weekend away. She had heard about what had happened, calling the hospital while on vacation to leave her best wishes and promising to take care of the children for as long as necessary. This time though she had been calling to tell Jesse that their new housekeeper had arrived and to ask what she should do with her.

In the end Jo, who had been at home getting ready to visit with Jayden and Rae, had gone round to Oak Place and explained the situation before settling the woman in and answering any questions that she could. The housekeeper's name was Janette Cameron and she and her spouse had immigrated to Los Angeles at the age of twenty-three after living in Edinburgh before that. She had been married to a fire-fighter and had only begun looking for work again after her husband of twenty years died. She was now fifty-three and made her way through the Travis household like a strong breeze.

Jesse hadn't thought that their house was particularly untidy and he knew that Rae didn't either. His wife was a tidy person, needing to know where things were, and being able to put her hand right on them, in the rush that was her life. When he had arrived home on the Tuesday evening though, having only visited for a very short time on Mrs Cameron's first day, he had been amazed at the difference he could already see. Nothing had been removed from its place; it was just that somehow it was neater, more organized, than it had been before. Since then Vicki's workload had diminished so that she could spend time doing what she had been hired for, which was to care for Anneya and Eliana, and the house was running efficiently enough for Jesse to be able to cross two of his main concerns off his list.

He was very aware that the situation he found himself in, that of once again watching over his wife as she fought for life, was one that he needed to keep a close eye on. The torment that both he and his family had gone through after the Werner kidnapping was still fresh in his mind and for that reason, on the Friday, one week after Rae's accident; he had found himself sitting in his therapist Lauren Yung's office.

_"I'm glad that you made an appointment to come and see me, but I am so sorry about the reasons behind it." Lauren did look genuinely sorry. She had been Rae's therapist, was still Rae's therapist, but also considered both the Travises friends as well as patients._

_"Yeah, me too.__ She knew he was dangerous, but I don't think she saw herself as in any of that danger. You know in two weeks she'll have been a cop for twenty years. I was gonna throw her a party. Or I thought I was, I'd only just begun to think about it."_

_Lauren didn't say anything, she knew that, initially, just having someone to talk to would do Jesse good. He was lucky in that he had a strong group of family and friends around him, but there were times when that type of support network was too close and someone a little removed could be just what a grieving person needed. As she made one or two quick notes on her tablet of paper Jesse carried on talking._

_"Did you know that she has to have a guard on her door? That guy, Dominic or whatever his real name is has fans! Can you believe that? She was going about her business, trying to catch someone who had murdered innocent women in at least four states and he had admirers! They've been threatening Steve and Rae. There's a guard at home, when the children go anywhere a cop goes with them, there is even a pair of officers outside the NICU!" Jesse had paused and shaken his head, when Captain Newman had told him threats had been made and he was sure that marriage proposals would follow he had been astounded. Just the day before though, Steve had told him that, so far, the fan mail had topped two hundred and fifty letters and sixteen of them had included a proposal of marriage._

_"How are your children coping without their mom?" The horror in Jesse's eyes had caused Lauren to intervene. She didn't want him dwelling on any one point right now, if he could open up to her then she could plan their future sessions knowing some of the things he needed to address whilst also knowing that the unexpected could still get in their way._

_"First of all, when she looked real bad, I just told them that she had gone away for a few days and would be back soon. But once the … the … once her face wasn't getting any worse then I sat Eliana down and told her that mommy had had an accident and would be in the hospital for a while. She was upset, but I took her to visit with Rae, and she sat and chattered away to her, held her hand and kissed her before she left."_

_"And afterwards?" Lauren wasn't experienced with counselling children but her unit did have a very good male therapist who was and she would recommend him if Jesse thought it necessary._

_"She cried when we had to go home, and was very clingy all evening. Not wanting to leave me for a minute. But I guess that's better than seeming to be unaffected by it."_

_"Yes it is. Did she talk about it?"_

_"Vicki bought a book about a little girl whose mommy has to go into the hospital regularly. She read it to both of them and said that Eliana talked about all the pictures and told her how Rae looked in her bed, and who came in while she was there, where she could sit, that type of thing."_

_"Good, but I would suggest that you read it with her and Anneya and show both of them that you and they can talk about mommy even though she isn't there. Has Anneya been to see Rae?" The tape was running but again she made a note of Jesse's expression, this time slightly guilty as he realised what he should have done._

_Jesse had nodded. "They've both been. We have it marked up on the calendar in the kitchen, and we count down the days until it is time for them to come. I bring them separately, not just because I think it's easier for Rae that way, but also because then they can tell each other what happened, and talk about how their mommy was." This time Lauren just nodded, it was clear that however much his life was on overdrive right now Jesse was still thinking things through and planning them out._

_"And you, Jesse? How are you doing?" She had changed tack slightly now. The rambling sentences of the start of the session had been replaced by deliberate observations and comments and Lauren knew that direct questions would be more suited to the time they had left._

_"Ok. I'm worried about her, so worried sometimes that there is room for nothing else in my life, but it's been a week and she's still here, still fighting. I don't know what her life will hold when she recovers as much as is possible but I do know that together we'll deal with it the best we can." Again Lauren jotted down observations about Jesse's manner, the way he looked as he spoke and then she smiled._

_"When you worry what is it about? Do you worry that she'll die? Or are your concerns more concentrated on her recovery now?"_

_For a moment he had been silent, he wasn't sure how to answer. The worries, a constant companion now for eight days, were difficult to analyse and explain. Then taking a deep breath he began to speak, admitting his innermost thoughts and hoping that she wouldn't hate him for them._

_"First of all, when I was told what had happened, I just wanted her to live, to survive the surgery. Then, when I … when I saw her … I …" His voice trailed off, the picture rose up in his mind of his wife, lying so still, so deadly still, and for a moment he was overwhelmed once again by the hopelessness that he'd seen in the situation._

_"Jesse?" Lauren had risen to her feet, although he hadn't seen her do it, and now was sitting in the chair next to his. "Take your time, I can wait."_

_Unable to do anything else he'd just nodded. For a while actual speech had been beyond him as he battled with himself and the, now totally alien, thoughts he'd had._

_"You came and saw her didn't you? The cops on the door said you came the Saturday when I was getting something to eat."_

_"Yes that's right. Mrs Sloan was with her; I didn't stay but a minute." The visit had been made in her own time, because she'd wanted to come and let Rae know she was in her thoughts. She had counselled patients after serious accidents had left them unconscious or in comas before and knew that the conversations of visitors could sometimes be heard and retained. All she had said was 'hi' and that she was thinking of her, then she had gently taken her hand into her own for a moment before apologising to the woman sitting by the bed for intruding and leaving again._

_"So you know how she looked. How … how badly she was hurt." There was a longing in his eyes now, a longing for understanding and it had been Lauren's turn to nod, not yet sure what it was she was committing herself too._

_"I … I knew that she could die, that the first twenty-four hours would be crucial, and then the next and the next over and over until she stabilized." He looked down at his hands and found them twisting around each other in his lap as his voice ran away from him and he clasped them together to try to stop the movement._

_"I told Alex and Steve, all of them, that if she couldn't fight this time we would have to let her go." As soon as the words were out his eyes filled with tears. He had cried that first day, but not since, and the pressure had been building and building. He felt Lauren gently touch his shoulder with her hand and before she could remove it he began to sob, deep heartfelt sobs that seemed to reach right inside him and pull out every ounce of stored up energy and he hugged himself as he rocked in his seat, unable to do anything but pour out all the hurt and anguish that had soaked into him over the last week._

ooo

Steve had returned to his normal shift pattern on the Monday morning, knowing that he only had three weeks to finish up a mountain of paperwork and get all his current cases up to date so that they could be passed over to other detectives. Cheryl had helped him with the general filing and organization, needing the distraction of something mundane to help her cope with interviewing and understanding Nicholas Large.

Ron had been officially assigned to the case by the FBI, not only because Cheryl had requested him but also because, as the profiler who had already assisted the LAPD during the case, he was regarded as the expert in this situation.

Rae's notes from home had been retrieved and pored over. She had attached a great deal of importance to the first known murder victim in New York, Sara Ann Miller and Steve had remembered how she had spoken of her in the apartment and then wished that he hadn't. The memories from that day were weighing heavily on him, when he closed his eyes at night he could see her disappear from view over the fire escape, being kicked out at by Dominic and then he would relive the split second of silence before she screamed and he heard her hit the ground.

By the Tuesday of the first week he had been sleeping in the private room attached to his study, unable to share his bed with Jo, knowing that the way he woke, suddenly sitting up in the middle of the night, bathed in sweat and crying out someone else's name, would cause her more distress than sleeping alone. What he didn't know was that each time she heard him tossing and turning, calling out in his sleep and would come to stand outside in the hallway waiting for him to wake so she could be there if he decided he needed her. So far that hadn't happened, and he also seemed unable to speak of it with her during the day. Jo's visits to sit with Rae had all been done alone; the only time they seemed to spend together was an hour each evening with Jayden. It was clear to all who knew them that the situation was pulling them apart, and they were still, almost three weeks later, unable to do anything to stop it.

Daniel seemed to have the opposite reaction to his dad. He had attached himself to his mother, inviting friends to come to him rather than leave her. When she went to sit with Jayden he went too, the police guard both comforting and alarming him at the same time. If Steve was home though he transferred his allegiance, working out in the gym with his father, or sitting with his music playing on headphones while Steve worked on cases brought home from the station, and generally spending most of his time in a subdued and serious mood.

Finally, on the Wednesday of the third week after Rae's accident, Jo called her first family meeting. David had returned to Texas, but was expected the following week so that he and Steve could try and get some of the papers and information he had gathered into a fit state to present to his lawyers. Debbie was, as far as anyone knew, still staying at the hotel at the end of the street. All communication was being handled through various law firms and although she had, albeit reluctantly, let Damita return home with her daddy, she was still planning to fight for custody in the very near future.

Wayne seemed to have disappeared from sight. Martin's statement to the police had been dealt with seriously and immediately and Jo and her family had been well protected by both the police and then a private security firm. The letters and calls from him however, hadn't stopped. Jo had changed her cell phone number twice to prevent him from ringing her, and the home number had also been changed. Short of moving house though there was very little that they could do to prevent him from sending letters varying in their degree of seriousness but all threatening and abusive. The mail wasn't getting to its intended victims but they knew it was still arriving. Jo had refused to go and see a therapist, even when Jesse had told her how much help he got from seeing Lauren Yung. She had spoken with her father-in-law though, visiting with her son and then spending the rest of the day with Mark, walking along the sand, sipping ice-cold soda on the deck and gradually opening her heart and letting all her worries and fears pour out.

She wished that Steve would do the same, or even just talk to Belinda again. He had seemed more relaxed after the chat he'd had with the NICU nurse, but the stresses and strains had begun to overwhelm him again almost immediately and she knew that not only was she worried about him but his dad was, and, as she had found out the previous day, Cheryl too.

The only bright spot on their horizon was the fact that Jayden was doing so well. He was a month old now, seeming more and more like she had imagined a child of hers to be. The nurses were very pleased with his progress and had even hinted at the possibility of him coming home a little earlier than originally planned. The very thought filled her with a euphoria she hadn't experienced before while filling her with an equal amount of dread at the same time. But on the Wednesday evening that hadn't been uppermost in her mind as she looked at the two most important men in her life at that moment and begun to speak.

_"I have made reservations for us to go away for the weekend to a resort in __Palm Springs__. We leave Friday afternoon an' get back Monday afternoon. No, neither of you say a word!" She had seen the looks of horror on both her husband and son's faces. "We need this. Jayden will be just fine, your daddy has said he will go sit with him every day, while we are away. Michael will go in as well. He won't be alone any more than he is when we are home. An' Rae will be just fine too. She has a whole army of people comin' in to sit with her." She stopped talking, knowing that she needed to let both Steve and Daniel have their say and also knowing that, even though the thought of leaving her son still tore at her, still made her want to cancel everything, she'd had two days to at least come to terms with it, and they hadn't._

_"How can I go away? I move to Wilshire in a week, I still have so much to do. And we can't not visit with Jayden and Rae for four days." _

_"Yes we can. Honey, I know you are havin' a hard time right now. I also know that there is no way I'm gonna get you to just stay home so we have to go away. Besides," she added her final words with a slight smile, "it's all booked."_

_"What about Jayden? Maybe something will go wrong and we won't be here, it takes almost three hours to get to __Palm Springs__." Daniel looked at his dad before speaking again and realised that he seemed really tired. Immediately he changed his view. If his mom was worried enough to leave Jayden then it needed to be done. "I guess if it was an emergency though we could fly home."_

_"Of course we could, Darlin'. I would love to be able to take Jayden with us, but right now I think we need to get away, just the three of us for a few days." She reached over and placed her hand on top of her husband's. The pain from her operation was lessening now, and she was able to put the feelings the movements made resolutely to the back of her mind. "Steve, Honey, I'm worried about you, please, you are gonna be so busy at Wilshire, I know that for a while you'll be workin' all the hours the Good Lord sends us. Please." She didn't know what else to say. In her mind they were going away, but she realised that if Steve really put his foot down there was no way she could make him accompany her, and without him there was no point in them going._

_Steve tried to swallow down his fears. He knew that Jo was right, he needed to take a break, but if he was just home then he would work and worry the entire time. His new job was very important to him though, as was making a good first impression. But more than that, he needed to make a dignified exit from __North Hollywood__. If he took a weekend off he wasn't sure that he would accomplish everything he had to. Going over the different tasks he still had to do in his mind he began to speak again._

_"I could always take the laptop with me, no, Honey, listen, if I promise, an hour, two tops each day, then I'm yours, what would you say?" He held his breath, wanting her to agree, but knowing that if she didn't that he would give into her, he loved her too much not to._

_"You can take it with you, but if I think you aren't relaxin' enough then I reserve the right to remove the battery pack." She smiled, it was a small concession, and if it meant he came willingly then it was one she was happy to make._

_Gently he slid his hand out from under Jo's and took her small and delicate one into his own before lifting it up and kissing the back of it._

_"Ok. Friday to Monday, just the three of us. Thank you." He saw the grin which appeared on his wife's face and that of his son. Suddenly he was looking forward to going, knowing instinctively that wherever it was that Jo had booked it would be well worth the visit._

ooo

Cheryl ran her hand through her short hair, thinking immediately of Rae as she did so. The interview with Nicholas Large was scheduled to start in thirty minutes and walking a beat seemed preferable to her right now.

Ron had suggested using a totally different approach to the interrogation process and for the last two visits they had been concentrating on his childhood, slowly but surely getting underneath the guard he had put up, but at the same time trying to understand what had made him gradually become the monster he now was.

Already the transcripts were filling three folders, and Cheryl knew that as the man was in his early thirties and they were concentrating on the period from about ten to twelve years of age at the moment they had a long way to go.

The tall, slightly friendlier than he had been, FBI Agent had also suggested that Nicholas wasn't one person but at least three, maybe more. That had totally floored Cheryl, the interview that had caused him to come to that conclusion being one that he and Steve had undertaken together over a week earlier, hoping to throw the man off guard when he saw one of his interrogators being replaced. To her surprise, both Ron and Steve had opened up when they discussed things individually with her later, helping her to understand just how personal this case was for all of them.

_"Good morning, Mr. Large. I think that you know Lieutenant Sloan." Ron made the question into a statement and Steve had stood there, staring at the man he would gladly kill with his bare hands._

_"Yes, yes, I know him." The voice had been different, the posture, body language, everything had changed and Ron was confronted by someone who could easily be a complete stranger to him._

_"Mr. Large, are you alright?" He had looked around, making sure that there were two guards on the door in case he had to send one for a prison medic._

_"I … I am, but … but my name isn't Large, it's Little, Matthew Little." The darting eyes, the nervous wringing of his hands had both increased as he spoke and neither interviewee nor interviewers seemed anxious to continue the conversation._

_Finally Steve had pulled out the chair opposite his prisoner and sat heavily into it glowering menacingly across the table and relishing the look of fear that crossed the other man's face. Matthew Little had been the name on the lease of the apartment, the apartment with the fire escape, he had pushed the thought away, just as Little had pushed Rae, again Steve fought the memory, more successfully this time. This man's prints though belonged to Nicholas Large. Something was screwy, but the entire case had been slightly off. Swallowing down his anger and hatred he had begun to speak, his tone level and measured._

_"Maybe you would like to explain that to us. Your prints don't come back as Matthew anyone."_

_Again there was silence, but this time both men could see that Matthew, if that was who he thought he was, with a look of total concentration on his face, had a decision to make. It had taken over five minutes before the slightly timid voice spoke again._

_"It's hard, I don't really know how to put it into words, but there has always been more than one of me. I thought that everyone was that way until … It was … I was nine, I told my sister, Melissa …" He had closed his eyes, and a tear escaped._

_Steve had looked across at Ron, who was now sitting at the large rectangular table as well, why hadn't the fact that he had a sister come up before? Now wasn't the time to cut in though, and the expression on the FBI Agent's face had been one of rapt attention; he clearly wasn't at all thrown by the revelations even if Steve was._

_Gradually, interrupted only by the occasional silence, Matthew had told his story._

_The school yard had been full of children playing games with their _He Man_ figures but he was a foster child and owned none of the things needed to be accepted. Instead he would sit under a large Oak Tree with his foster sister and together they would watch and wish they would be asked to join in._

_Melissa had a rag doll; she loved it more than anything else in her life and called her Issa, because that way she was a part of her. He hadn't understood why she would need a doll for that._

_"I said to her 'what about the other people inside you?' and she just stared at me. She didn't understand." His voice was more confident now, but also a little dreamy, almost as if he was back in the past, sitting under that same tree as he talked with his sister and again the silence took over, but this time both men could see that he was enjoying the memories. After a minute, not wanting him to lose himself, Ron had coughed quietly and the narrative began again, for just a short while._

_"When she told me that she didn't have people inside of her it was me who didn't understand. There was Nicholas, Matthew, sometimes … sometimes Dominic was there too, but he didn't like school, well except to skip." The silence descended again, until finally Matthew looked up._

_"You don't have other people inside you either, do you?" There was desperation in his eyes now which disappeared the instant that he saw his two companions shake their heads to be replaced with disappointment._

_"No one else does. Not that I've ever met, I … I thought I was the only one, you know. I figured maybe I was special, that I should tell my mom and dad but Melissa told me not to. Said they would send me away … I should have listened." He had retreated inside himself then, the tears had started up again and Ron had signalled for Steve to leave the room with him._

_For almost a week no one had seen Matthew, Dominic, Nicholas, or whoever he chose to be, except his psychologist. When the report came through it was clear that, although she had been sceptical initially, she was now of the opinion that Nicholas, which, as his legal name, she called him throughout, clearly felt under the influence of at least three separate personalities. She also said that although her patient was not slipping from one to another as often as some she had seen, he definitely used each of the three they had mentioned so far for specific situations and was unable to cope if the right one didn't appear._

Cheryl had watched Steve fume quietly in the squad room after that eventful meeting, his stress levels so high she was worried he would either shut down himself or have a heart attack. Not only did he now have his son and his partner to worry about but he had also almost convinced himself that their Red Rose Killer would be certified as unfit to face trial.

When he had been stopped for running a red light Cheryl had feared for his own sanity and the safety of the officer concerned. She knew that he wasn't likely to pull strings to get himself off, and so she had lied for him, explaining that they were on their way to a crime scene and hadn't had time to put the light on the roof. The motorcycle cop worked North Hollywood and if he had realised who had been in the car he would have ignored them, instead he just smiled and sent them on their way, and finally Steve's dam had burst and she had taken the brunt of his wrath.

_"So what gives? Can't I fight my own battles any more? What the hell makes you think you have to do it for me?" He had turned on her, his voice loud and harsh, as soon as he'd found a safe place to pull over._

_"Of course I don't, but do you really want to have that on your record, Captain?" He had yelled at her, and she found herself answering at the same volume._

_"So you tell him what? That we're off to a crime scene that doesn't exist, that was real smart."_

_"Oh, come on, Steve, he's not gonna check, if you had been in your car instead of Jo's I'll bet we wouldn't even have been stopped. Let it go."_

_"Let it go!" His eyes told her not to say anything more, but then his next words had stopped her in her tracks anyway, and she wanted to do nothing other than comfort him. "I can't stop you from lying for me, can't stop my partner …" his voice had faded and he had turned from her._

_"Steve?"_

_"Leave it, Cheryl, unless you want to walk, just leave it!" He had started the car, slammed it into drive and when a slightly smaller gap than he would normally take had appeared in traffic he had shot into it and they had returned to the station in silence._

Knowing that he would probably never forgive her if he ever found out, Cheryl had called Jo, inviting her to come to the guest house at Oak Place, and then she had told her of her worries, and been surprised to see her new friend smile.

_"Thank you so much for tellin' me, I knew he was sufferin', but not that he was takin' it out on you though, an' for that I apologize. I have a little vacation booked, tomorrow we are havin' us a family meetin'," Jo had smiled then, "we've never had one before, an' I plan on tellin' him an' Daniel that we are goin' away next weekend, just the three of us."_

She presumed that the plan was still in place, she hadn't asked and nothing had been mentioned since, but she knew he was still on edge, still wound so tightly that he could uncoil at any moment, if only because he had yet to apologize to her for his behaviour. No one should have to put up with all he had on his shoulders right now, and she just hoped that he could hold it all together and deal with it because the alternative didn't bear thinking about.


	27. Chapter 27

27 **Letting Go**

"No! No, no, no, no. No!" The sound of a furiously angry raised voice, followed by the unmistakable clatter of plates, glass and cutlery crashing to the floor, split the air and then became heartbreaking sobs. Mark and Jesse, at different ends of the hallway, both reacted at the same time, turning and rushing towards the noise.

Mark paused only to ask a nurse to page Doctor Martin before entering the room, speaking as he reached out and gently touched the crying patient in the bed not wanting to distress her any more than she already was.

"Rae, Honey." There was no pause in the tears but he saw her dark eyes dart in his direction just the once, she knew he was there. "Whatever is it?" Taking in the scene before him, the ruined breakfast, the shocked and slightly scared nurse standing at the end of the bed, the uneven ragged breathing of his injured friend, Mark swallowed hard. Then, just for a second, he turned towards Jesse, who was now standing in the doorway, and nodded. "I've got it, go, I'll find you."

With a heavy heart the younger man returned the way he had come up the hallway, knowing that, of the two of them, Mark stood a far greater chance of reaching her right now.

The only place he could think of going was the doctors' lounge in the ER. It had been his sanctuary so often that sometimes he was both amazed and annoyed that other doctors would even enter it. Now though he hoped that it wouldn't be empty, because if it was he would have time to think, and thinking only caused pain. The room, however, shouted out that it was his and his alone and, as he sank down into the saggy sofa, the face of his wife was at the forefront of his mind and he began fitting this latest piece of the jigsaw into place.

Rae had begun showing signs of coming out of her coma after three weeks. It hadn't been sudden though, taking days before she was able to even begin to function independently and although he had hated it then, now he wished he were back during that time when she had welcomed him into her room and her life, the time before the extent of her injuries had become clear.

Although he knew it was a stupid and cowardly thing to do Jesse had pushed all thoughts about how Rae would be, mentally, out of his mind. He knew that a serious head injury could, and probably would, change her personality; he just hadn't wanted to face it.

Alex had kept Rae on the ventilator for another week after she was no longer classified as being comatose; increasing the nutrients she was receiving intravenously to help with the weaning that would be painful for all concerned. Finally, on the Saturday morning, with Jesse waiting outside the room on a chair in the hallway, he and Mark had begun to explain to Rae what they were going to do.

_"Honey, we know that you are feeling a little stronger this morning, and we also know that you don't like the ventilator." It was Mark who spoke first, holding her left hand in his as he did so, and hiding Alex from her view._

_"Because you've been on it for a long while this time, a little over the month, we need to wean you off of it rather than just remove it. Do you understand that?" Mark waited while Rae took in what he was saying and then Jesse knew that she had blinked once because he continued to speak._

_"Do you want Jesse to come hold your hand? Like I said this will take longer, and I mean days longer, to do, we are gonna take it one tiny step at a time."_

_The blink had been repeated and Jesse found himself sitting holding on to his wife's left hand as, carefully, Alex began to alter the settings on the ventilator and again Mark spoke._

_"Ok, what I want you to do is breathe for me. The machine will take over if you can't handle it, but try to concentrate and manage independently."_

_Again Rae had blinked, just the once, but there had been anxiety in her eyes and Jesse had felt increased pressure from her fingers around his hand._

_"It's ok, look, everything's fine; Alex is right there by the machine, you are surrounded by doctors!" Jesse had smiled as he spoke, trying to assure her. "You can do this." _

_But she hadn't been able to, as soon as the machine wasn't helping her she had panicked and the short period before the ventilator took over had seemed like a lifetime to him as she gripped his hand, tears forming in her eyes._

_Mark and Alex had both spoken quietly with Rae, explaining that they would let her rest for a little while and then try again. After three goes, she had finally inhaled two breaths on her own before the task was taken over again for her._

Although the start hadn't been all that auspicious Rae had stuck to it and by the end of her sixth week in the hospital she was breathing unaided all of the time, now though, on the Wednesday of the seventh week, Jesse was pretty sure that Mark would have given her the mask to help her through her latest tantrum.

_Tantrum._His waking moments seemed to be filled with people who couldn't keep their tempers under control or others who had great pleasure in telling him all about it. Rae's recovery was definitely being hampered by the severe physical limitations caused by her injuries and she was finding it very difficult to remain relaxed and pleasant to be with. If she became agitated or upset while he wasn't with her it seemed to take no time at all for a message to get to him, filling him in on all the salient details. He knew that some of the comments had been out of concern, the member of staff asking him if Rae had recovered from her latest outburst, or glowering silence. The silences hadn't been restricted to his wife however, he was getting used to the feeling that people were talking about her, about him, behind his back, and he wished that he was better at ignoring it all.

He had known that Anneya would find her mother's absence hard, she always did, and the screaming fits that had accompanied Rae's stay in the hospital in Santa Barbara when she had been shot, were now doing the rounds again, and this time he was sure that the volume had increased. The fact that she was older as well meant that she understood more about the absence, and as he watched his little girl in her quiet, sometimes isolated, world Jesse's heart broke for her.

His eldest daughter, out of school for the summer and so away from her beloved Miss Amy, had taken refuge in her nanny, Miss Vicki, who was her teacher's sister although Jesse knew that as soon as Rae returned home, just as had happened before, everyone but Eliana's mother would be forgotten. In the meantime however, everywhere the young woman went Eliana wanted to go too. At five it was difficult to explain to her that when her nanny had a date she couldn't accompany her, although twice so far the explanation hadn't been needed because Vicki had kindly taken her with her. When she didn't get to go though doors were slammed, and tears shed making Jesse feel a total failure as his words weren't enough to calm and console her.

In the end a solution had been found purely by accident. Daniel had come by to speak with Jesse just as Eliana had stomped off into the playroom her curls bouncing along with her as hot tears fell down her cheeks.

Jesse had explained the situation to the young man and had been both astounded and delighted when he had offered to take her out once or twice a week, with their ever present security guard, maybe to a burger restaurant or a movie, something that was just for her. So far there had been four outings, all successful and all resulting in a happy and smiling little girl, at least for a short while.

He sighed, two of his three girls were happy most of the time; he guessed that wasn't too bad. Anneya just needed companionship, someone who could talk to her in her own language and a cuddle to keep her happy. At least now that Mrs Cameron had arrived Vicki had more time to spend with her. It was companionship that Eliana needed too, and she loved Daniel dearly, so their special times were working well too.

All he had to do now was work out how to provide his wife with a happy and secure future, and then to have her understand what it was and, hopefully, things could get back to some sort of normality.

ooo

Mark watched as Jesse, his shoulders slumped in silent defeat, disappeared from view and then turned back towards Rae. He was very concerned, but not surprised, at her behaviour. She was still completely bedridden, her right arm and shoulder causing her pain and although the movement was returning it was still of little actual use. He knew that she was due to have more tests on her spine later in the week, but so far there had been no feeling or sensation in her right leg, and he also knew that Alex and her orthopaedic surgeon didn't expect her to regain the use of that side of her lower body. Not surprisingly Rae's usually pleasant but strong personality hadn't been seen since she had regained consciousness and he was beginning to wonder whether it was lost for ever.

The ventilator was no longer needed, but he could hear Rae fighting for breath and so gently rested the mask over her face, holding it in place as she gasped and sucked in the air, before steaming up the plastic as she exhaled.

"Shhh, that's it, just breathe steadily; let the machine do the work for a minute."

Rae did as she was told, not really being able to do anything else, and gradually she felt herself relax a little and then she watched as Mark placed the mask in reach of her left hand before turning his head and speaking again.

"Do you want to tell me what that was all about?" The nurse hadn't moved from the end of the bed, and so Mark indicated that she could come closer but still she said nothing.

"I think that I can handle this, but when I'm done could you get a cleaning crew up here?"

"Yes, Doctor, and I'm really sorry if I upset Mrs Travis. I didn't mean to."

"No, I know that. Go get yourself a cup of coffee before you do anything else. You're not hurt are you?"

"No, I was this side of the bed, the breakfast flew that way."

Mark chuckled at the description, "Yes, from the distance covered, I would say it did fly. Thank you, nurse."

The young woman, obviously relieved to be dismissed, made her way from the room and Mark looked for a moment at the mess on the floor. There was cereal, milk, orange juice, as well as toast and coffee all mixed together with shards of glass, pieces of china, a knife, two spoons and a small, wet, mountain of sugar with a blob of jam on top of it.

"Did you eat anything?"

"No." It had become Rae's favourite word. Almost everything was 'no'. Her speech was extremely limited, although her comprehension was fine. Rae had made no effort yet to speak unless she was spoken to and her therapist could already tell that she would need to be taught again how to form words, put them together into sentences, she would, in essence, have to learn her own language again but, it seemed, only verbally. Jo had brought in a magazine, mainly for Rae to look at the pictures, but she had been found staring intently at it, and it was clear that she was, slowly, recognizing the letters, making words and then reading them. Once again Mark had been amazed by the powers of the mind and hoped that they would find many other things that Rae could still accomplish.

The injuries that Rae had received to the right hand side of her brain would mainly affect her balance and her spatial awareness. Already she was finding ordinary movements such as wiping her eyes when she cried, or reaching out to touch someone, difficult and unnerving. The same magazine that she had been concentrating on so hard had slipped from her fingers to the floor when she had tried to move it a little closer to her and turning the pages had been a task that she could no longer achieve.

"Would you like me to get you some more breakfast?" Mark had a feeling that he knew the answer before he asked the question.

"No." This time there was no eye contact. Rae knew that Mark wouldn't like her response.

"Honey, you have to eat. Otherwise you'll be back on a drip again. Let me get you some toast, we can cut that up into soldiers and they'll be gone in no time."

"NO!" Her ribs no longer hurt, the pain in her shoulder and arm was just about bearable and Rae didn't want to be treated like a child. She screamed at Mark, putting all her venom into the one word and then, whether by luck or judgement, her hand made contact with his chest and she pushed him away, causing him to stagger back into Alex.

"GOWAY! Goway, goway, goway." She was banging the bedcovers with her fist now, up and down, jerky movements, her hand clenched tightly and tears again starting in her eyes.

Alex took the entire scene in with a glance and, making sure that Mark was steady on his feet and uninjured, moved over and placed a hand on either arm of his patient, hoping that he wouldn't hurt her, but knowing he had no real choice in the matter.

"Rae!"

"Goway." The word was new to both men, but they had no doubt what it was she was trying to say.

"Rae, stop it! You'll hurt yourself." Alex kept a firm grip on her but he could see that he wasn't making any impression and he was worried about the damage she might be doing to her already bruised and abused body. With a deep sigh he began to speak quietly, requesting Mark's assistance, telling him what it was he needed and then watching as he left the room for a moment before turning his attention back to Rae hoping that he could calm her before his friend returned.

"Rae. Let me help you." He waited, but she didn't seem to take any notice of him, still trying to give vent to her fury. "Honey, you need to calm down." Rae's breathing was coming hard and fast now; she was almost in self-destruct mode, and so he lifted the mask to her face hoping that its presence would begin the process of returning her to a more relaxed state of mind.

At first she fought it, but turning her head from one side to the other caused her not only more pain but also made her vision blur and so finally she had to let Alex rest the black vinyl padded mouthpiece over her face and then gratefully she drank in the oxygen before again moving, or trying to move, away from him.

By the time Mark came back into the room the decision had been made and, knowing that he had no alternative, but still with a heavy heart, Alex carefully, gently, sedated his patient.

ooo

The waiting room to Lauren Yung's consulting rooms was obviously newly decorated. The walls, painted in colours that were muted and calming, had no marks or blemishes on them. The pictures which adorned them, one on each shorter wall and two on the longer ones were of lakes and mountains. The entire scheme, including the plants, soft chairs and low lighting, was intended to put patients at their ease, but Steve had a feeling that it would take more than clever interior design to accomplish that with him. He had been here before, but the sessions had been fact-finding, talking about family, friends, and their place in his life. Nothing threatening, nothing scary, but this time would be different, this time he had to do the talking, and that talking would cover what had brought him here in the first place.

He was very early for his appointment; almost thirty minutes, but had known that if he stayed in his office he would get sidetracked and then be late. He had also hoped to visit with Jayden first, but the nurse on the desk had told him that there was a crisis with another child so there was a request for no visitors that morning.

So now he had the option of sitting and looking at chic magazines, the sort his wife bought, or letting his mind go over some of the things that he wanted to discuss. Not having the energy to lean forward and pick up anything to read he instead tried to put his thoughts in order.

He knew that his ex-colleagues at North Hollywood considered him a good cop but a bit of an oddity. Very few men of his age not only worked with their father but lived with him too which, before he met Jo, was exactly what he had done. He also knew that without the reassurance of having Alex move in with his dad he would have been unable to live with Jo in Beverly Hills, and he would be forever grateful to the younger man for taking over his apartment from him.

Mark had given him the lease to the lower half of the beach house as a wedding present and so the rent that Alex paid had come to him. It was sitting very nicely in a high interest account and when the young doctor got married himself Steve planned to hand it all back to him.

He wasn't sure how his colleagues had seen him, apart from his ability and his love for his father, but he didn't think that they would imagine him as someone who brooded and pondered things far longer than was probably necessary.

The fact was though that his job did effect him, the things that he saw and heard about on a daily basis gradually lowered his resistance until it got to the point where he would take off on his own, maybe just for a day or two to recharge his batteries and try to put things back into perspective again. This time though he had a feeling that a day or two's solitude wasn't going to be enough.

The vacation in Palm Springs had been wonderful, the luxury unsurpassed, but instead of relaxing and recharging him it had done the opposite, making him feel more vulnerable, and in need of help, than ever.

So now, here he was, sitting in a comfortable chair, waiting to speak with a woman that he knew both Rae and Jesse trusted implicitly, and he was relieved to discover that he too had the chance to feel that way.

Trying to relax both his mind and body had been a very difficult thing lately, but now, stretching his long legs out in front of him, he cast his mind back, wanting to think through the positives that had been gained from his family vacation, and a small smile crossed his features as he closed his eyes and remembered.

_"Steve, Honey, if you don't put all that filin' away right now I will come an' shred it!" His wife's voice was loud and insistent and he knew that he had pushed her as far as she was going to let him. He closed the thin manila folder and slid it into his briefcase along with his laptop and three other files. He then zipped it up, put the lock on it and twiddled the numbers so that it was fastened securely before making his way out into the hallway to see Jo talking quietly with Juan._

_"My brother will be arrivin' on Monday, hopefully we will be back before he gets here, but if not can you put his things in the __Rose__Room__ an' make sure that there is a crib available in case Damita is stayin' with us? The security guards will be patrollin' over the weekend an' so you are free to go off an' have a good time yourself." Jo had paused for a moment. "I know that things haven't been easy since you joined us, an' replacin' Michael was always gonna be a hard task. I hope you will accept this little bonus an' have yourself a real good time."_

_A small envelope had been handed to the tall Spanish butler and then Jo, blushing a little, had turned and smiled at her husband._

_"Are you ready, Honey?" He had nodded and then the sound of their son's voice had broken into the one sided conversation._

_"Mom, it's here." Daniel had been, at his mother's request, watching out of the window at the front of the house. He hadn't known what it was he was looking for, but there was no doubt that he thought he had it right._

_"Good, what do you think?" Jo's smile was huge, and it was clear that she was enjoying herself enormously._

_"That is just so cool!" He had told his dad that he hadn't been able to quite believe what he saw, but Steve had said that he should have guessed that his mom would do something to start the vacation off on a high note._

_There had been a knock at the door then and Juan had moved to answer it. The man standing outside, in a black suit with a peaked cap in his left hand, had removed his dark shades before speaking._

_"Good morning, is this the Sloan residence?" _

_Juan had answered in the affirmative and Daniel had pulled on his dad's hand._

_"Come and see, Dad, come see!" _

_Moving across to the window Steve looked out to see a stretch, white __Lincoln__ Towncar. It had tinted windows, and the rear doors were easily an ordinary car's length from the driver and passenger ones._

_Juan picked up two of the suitcases resting just inside the small waiting room at the front of the house and the chauffeur took another two. Jo, looking like a cat who had found the cream, turned to her husband and son, not speaking but obviously waiting for a reaction._

_"Do we get to drive all the way in that?" Daniel looked as excited as his mom._

_"Oh yeah, an' then home again on Monday. The security guards will have to travel in their own car though."_

_Steve had moved across and gently taken his wife's hand into his own. He knew that this entire trip was for his benefit, and the opportunity not to have to drive was a welcome one._

_With a small bow he began to speak. "Thank you. Shall we get ready to embark?" He couldn't think of another word, somehow climb in or get in, seemed far too ordinary._

Now, with a smile on his face, Steve let himself return to the present day. The journey had sped by; there had been a bar in the back of the limo, soft drinks for Daniel, champagne for Jo and himself. There had also been room, had they wanted to do so, for them all to lie outstretched, a set of leather seats to themselves, and sleep the entire way. They hadn't done that though, instead he had sat, his arm around Jo while she rested her head on his shoulder. Daniel, on the other hand, had been almost glued to the windows, watching the expressions on the faces of the drivers of other vehicles as they passed them, enjoying seeing without being seen himself.

"Captain Sloan, would you like to come through? I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." A soft voice broke into his thoughts and he looked round with a start.

"Oh, sorry, I … yes, thank you." Great, he was flustered, not a good start. He tried to remember what Jesse had said to him when he asked whether Lauren would see him too. That she was very nice, open, down to earth and not at all fazed by anything that you could possibly think of to say to her. Then, feeling just a little more confident, and less like a fly in a spider's parlour he followed her into her office.

ooo

With the crisis that had befallen one of the young babies in the unit now resolved successfully, Jo sat in the NICU stunned at what she had just heard about her own child. All her emotions were on overload, she wanted to cry, to scream, to run down the hallways, but she couldn't and so instead she carried on doing what she had been for the last ten minutes or so and looked into the eyes of her youngest son. Jayden looked back up at her, a type of wonder on his face, and slowly, almost fearfully, she reached out a finger and then watched as his little hand grabbed it and held on fast.

Wanting to get herself a little more relaxed than she was, knowing that any anxiety would be passed on to her child, Jo let her mind wander back to the vacation she had spent with her husband and other son.

_The limousine that she had ordered had surprised both Steve and Daniel and she had been delighted with their reactions. The chance to sit in the large, luxurious seats in the rear of the vehicle, not in the passenger seat as her husband drove, concentrating on the road the entire time, had been wonderful. They had rested in each other's arms, enjoying the chance to be together, not needing to say very much and the miles had just sped by._

_When the freeway was left behind and then a large courtyard entered, Daniel hadn't been the only one looking out of the window. She had been thrilled to see that the hotel and spa she had booked, from the outside anyway, seemed as beautiful as it had on the internet._

_The chauffeur had left the car and made his way into the main reception area. Jo had placed a hand on her husband's arm as he began to lean towards the door._

_"It's all taken care of, just stay where you are." She had smiled. It wasn't very often that she got to flaunt her position or money, but this weekend she intended to do it every chance she got if it meant that Steve had a relaxing and enjoyable stay._

_The chauffeur returned after about five minutes and then drove a short distance further before alighting again, opening the rear doors, and touching his cap as they climbed out. The luggage was being taken into a white villa as they smoothed down their clothes and she had tipped the young man before sending him on his way, telling him that they would see him again on the Monday._

_Daniel had already disappeared into their home for the next few days and taking Steve by the hand she followed him in._

_The floor was white tile, changing to deep pile carpet as they moved into the sitting room. There were lemon coloured chairs and a love seat along with side tables and expensive looking ornaments all leading towards a beautiful white fireplace. There was also a fully equipped kitchen, although she had no intention of cooking, planning instead to eat in the restaurants in the main part of the resort._

_The bedrooms, three of them in all, were also white, with brightly coloured artwork on the walls and even softer carpeting underfoot. Their king-sized bed was almost impossibly deep and when they had gone into the room that would be Daniel's he hadn't been able to resist flinging himself onto his._

_They had walked through French doors out onto a private patio where a hot tub was already bubbling and waiting for them. There were only two villas with totally private facilities, and this was one of them. Half an hour after arriving the two of them were in the tub, and Daniel was chatting with Maddie on the internet, telling her all about where he was and what he was going to do while he was there. _

_Daniel had asked permission to go to the main swimming pool once he finished talking with Maddie and, with his guard following along behind him, had left his mom and dad alone. Steve had slipped his arms around her, kissing her deeply and moving his body closer to her own. Knowing that they were now totally by themselves, apart from their own guard who was in the villa, her husband had slowly removed her swim suit before making love to her in the water, gently and tenderly and Los Angeles and all their problems had finally seemed a long way away._

Belinda was sitting at her desk, watching carefully but not intruding. The file on her desk, not as thick as most when a baby was born as early as Jayden Daniel Michael Sloan had been, was almost complete and she had just told Jo that in a week she could take her son home. She could see that although Jo was nervous about what was to come she was also quite content sitting with her son, his little hand held tightly around her finger as she enjoyed the quiet atmosphere of the NICU.

As the memories of Palm Springs disappeared back into the past the uncertainty that Jo felt threatened her again and, swallowing down her fear, she looked over to where the friendly nurse sat and spoke hesitantly.

"You're sure? Absolutely sure."

Getting to her feet Belinda moved across and sat in the chair next to Jo. "Yes, I'm sure. You've been here when most of his tests have been done, heard how pleased with his progress Doctor Isherwood is. He really is ready to sample the delights of the outside world."

"I can't believe it. I can take him home, be a real mom to him. Thank you, thank you so much … I have … I have to go." Her eyes filled with tears, but realization also hit her, the plans that she had wanted to set in motion before Rae had been injured had lain dormant ever since. She needed to get on them.

"Oh, ok. Jo, are you alright?" Belinda was concerned that she would want to just up and leave the way she was, but even as she spoke the nurse knew that the question wasn't needed. There was an excitement in her friend's eyes, a spark, that hadn't been there since the British cop had been hurt and as Jo went to remove her gown she left the nurse feeling as happy and positive as she was.

ooo

The silence had seemed to grow around them, the prisoner one side of the table, the two law enforcers the other. It was a scene that had been repeated many times over the last two months, or almost two months, and Cheryl knew that it would be repeated again many times before Dominic, Matthew, Nicholas, whoever he was, had his day in court. The public defender that had been assigned to the case had been with his client at every meeting, but today, as every day since the very first time he had come, he was being ignored. Cheryl and Ron had actually felt badly for the young man, but if their killer didn't want to take his advice or confer with him then they had no intention of interfering.

Something, somehow, was different today, Cheryl wasn't sure what it was, but the silence was … different. There was no other word to describe it, it wasn't charged, or dangerous, it wasn't heavy or ponderous, it was just … different. Risking a glance over to where Ron sat she saw he was deep in thought, but she also knew that any movement from across the table and he would be right on it. They watched their prisoner as he shuddered for a moment and then Matthew, for it was his voice now that they heard, spoke.

"I need to go to the bathroom." They were the first words that had been uttered in over a half hour. They were also the same words that had been spoken then as well.

"You just went. What's the matter, you fancy the guard or something?" Ron's words, not spat out or shouted, cut to the quick however, and had an instant result.

"NO! I'm not that way." It was a reaction, but not one they had expected, and so the now experienced team worked from it.

"Oh, come on, Matty, I've seen the way you look at him, and he is kinda cute." Cheryl took over, she knew how to play Matthew, knew how to get under his skin, trouble was, until about two seconds ago, she had thought they were dealing with Dominic.

"Stop it! Don't call me that, I'm not gay, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!" The chair scraped on the concrete floor as the young man, his eyes darting left and right moved it back from the table. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"You just went and I just told you that. Surely you can wait a little longer." Now it was Ron's turn to speak.

Shaking his head, as if in sadness, and showing in his face that he knew neither of them understood, Matthew spoke again. "That wasn't me, that was Dominic, now **_I_** need to go."

Unwilling to lose the momentum which they felt was building Ron looked at his watch. "Half an hour. They're being cleaned right now, so half an hour."

Amazingly this seemed to appease Matthew and, lowering his eyes, he tried to relax and listen to what they had to say.

"So, talk to me, Matty, why does it worry you what people think? I thought that you were the Red Rose Killer, a guy like that hardly worries if people think he's gay."

Cheryl watched as once again the shortening of his name agitated their prisoner. She had found out, purely by accident, he hated being called anything other than his full name and so now she used the abbreviated form whenever she felt the situation called for it. She also made sure she called him Matthew as well, trying to show that she was on his side sometimes, because she hoped it would increase his uncertainty as to how she was going to treat him, and so far it seemed to be working.

"I'm not gay; I'm shy, but not gay." Matthew wished that he could retreat, could disappear back inside and let Dominic or Nicholas take over, but he could feel that if he did go neither of them would take his place, and he didn't want to wake up in the prison infirmary again.

"How about Dominic then, is he gay?" It wasn't an avenue she wanted to pursue, but Cheryl was trying to separate the three identities so that she could understand them all better. She had tried asking one persona to leave so that another could join them but that didn't seem to work. They would pop up when they felt that the conversation was geared to them. Dominic was charming, almost flirting with Cheryl but totally ignoring Ron, Nicholas was domineering and arrogant while Matthew just wanted to be left alone.

"He always gets the girl. No one would look twice at me. He's confident, good looking, that's why I was always so surprised when …" Matthew stopped talking and Cheryl held her breath. She had no idea what it was he was going to say but she had a feeling that it was very important and she willed the lawyer to keep quiet.

The silence returned, and Matthew tried to hide. He knew if he stayed that he would have to finish what he was going to say. Dominic and Nicholas might be able to lie to the cops but he couldn't.

The tall black man sitting opposite him, the Fed, put the fear of God into him; he would come striding down the hallway, nod at the guard, march into the room and then wait for his partner to come join him.

Matthew wasn't much more at ease with the female detective. Pretty and softly spoken, he tried to relax when she was with him but it wasn't easy. Now she was looking him in the eye and he just knew that she was waiting for him to complete his sentence. He wanted to look away, but he was like a moth drawn to a flame. For such a long time he had given nothing away, at least nothing that was of any use in the case, but now he was tired, tired of hiding, tired of being the one pushed forward to answer the personal stuff and finally, unable to resist any longer, he began to speak again.

"First of all, in New York, San Francisco, even here for a while, I swear I didn't know what he was doing. He would have a date with someone, and then they would never call, never be seen ever again. I … I would find blood soaked clothes; I knew I had to get rid of them, but I didn't know where they'd come from. I even burned some of them on the fire escape until I got told not to."

"Mr. Large, you really need to consider what you are saying." She had known that the public defender couldn't let that go but she also had a feeling that Matthew was on a one way street, unable to stop now until he had finished what he had to say.

"No, no, I'm ok, really." He had to carry on; maybe he would feel better if he let some of this slip out.

Cheryl knew that the fire escape and what had happened on it was one of the reasons that Rae had joined Matthew to Dominic through Albert and his diary. She also knew that Matthew had a problem even thinking about the fire escape and so she pressed ahead.

"Is that the same fire escape that you pushed Rae Yeager from?"

He looked away, eye contact, difficult at the best of times, was now impossible, he wanted to leave, to let his body slide to the floor, but he couldn't, and so very slowly, very quietly he stared at her and said just three words.

"We, and yes."


	28. Chapter 28

28 **Moving Forwards …**

Gregory Dolan was a psychologist; thirty-two years old, he had dirty blonde hair, wire-rimmed glasses and was wearing a beautiful, crease-free, black suit and white shirt with a navy tie. He was also what the state would call an expert witness and had been sitting watching his client, for want of a better word, for the last twenty minutes as the young man looked at crime scene photos, seeing the carnage he had caused.

After the voluntary admission of guilt to Detective Banks and Agent Wagner, Large had changed his plea. The questioning had stopped and, for the last two weeks, he had been undergoing psychiatric and psychological assessment again. Gregory, experienced in working for either the defence or prosecution, knew the accused which, he guessed, was another way of thinking of him, had the ability to be one of three people or identities, and that it was always extremely clear just who you were speaking with. He also knew that he was the second psychologist to see the man, the first one, a woman, asking to be removed from the case after a week of sessions.

Greg had been introduced to an extremely nervous young man who said that he was Matthew Little, and had then watched in fascination as that identity retreated on production of the photos. The person who replaced him, Dominic, had taken the sheaf of pictures and shuffled through them as if they were someone's vacation shots.

From the information he had read, Greg was sure that Mathew, Dominic, Nicholas, whichever persona he chose, was a fetishist, his particular fetish being long blonde hair. No other women had been in any danger from him, he had been able to spend weeks and months working in a hairdressing salon without feeling the compulsion to kill any one of his clients, and the psychologist was already certain that an insanity bid would not work with this weirdo because of that restraint.

He blanked the word, he had to remain focussed and clear-headed, even if the entire world thought that Little or Large was a weirdo it was something that he couldn't admit to.

The photos were back on the table now, but Dominic was still staring at them or, more accurately, the top one.

"Who was she?" Doctor Dolan wasn't too sure himself without looking at the back of the picture, but he had a feeling that this man, knowing every woman intimately, would never forget their faces.

"Tanisha, her name is Tanisha Collins, she's from San Francisco." The voice was confident, almost mocking and Gregory knew that the picture had been left on top for a purpose. The victim wasn't in his remit, there would be another court appearance, another set of witnesses, and experts, to try this man for the killings he had been accused of further up state.

"Very well then, how about this young lady?" He shuffled the pictures, picked one and glanced at the name printed on the reverse before speaking, sure of his ground this time.

The man across the table laughed, it wasn't a pleasant sound under any circumstances, but it chilled him all the more because it accompanied the gruesome pictures and Greg realised that he was now in the presence of the third person, Nicholas.

"She worked for the cop, can you believe that? I didn't realise it at the time, but he knew her. I wish she'd said something, I would have delivered her to his door." He picked up the picture again and looked at it. The woman had been nice, friendly, right up to the end when she had to go see her blasted cat.

"I killed her pet, did you know that? Snivelling, smelly little rat of a creature! She screamed when she saw it, knew she was as good as dead herself, Nadine, that was her name. Stupid bitch, they all were, stupid, stupid bitches."

"You moved her after you killed her?"

"No." Nicholas looked at Greg with distain, "I moved her first. Once I'd killed the cat I knocked her out, took her to the car, put her in the trunk and drove to Toluca. Then I killed her." He was no longer talking to anyone, his words were for him alone, and his eyes were dreamy, he was reliving the experience, bringing up pictures in his mind of Nadine Browton and how she died.

Gregory looked at the man before him and wondered why he had done as he had. Why he had killed all these women, and then, almost as if he had spoken his question out loud, he got his answer.

"She was going to dump me, told me she'd had a nice time, but didn't date customers." For a moment he was lost again, but this time although his eyes were still dreamy there was hurt and determination showing there as well.

"I knew that they all were going to leave me. I couldn't let that happen, I couldn't let her leave me, so I killed her, killed her and took the best part of her home with me."

Gregory shook his head almost imperceptibly; the compulsion to kill would be where this case would inevitably focus. The argument would be centred on whether he was sane, and therefore in control of his feelings, or insane and controlled by them instead. Because there was now a guilty plea the prosecution didn't have to prove his actions, just disprove the defense's assertions. Greg knew these would be that their client was unable to overrule his murderous urges and was, therefore, entitled to spend his days in a mental institution and, if deemed fit by specialists, be released back into the general populous some time in the future. Having seen the dream-like state he understood why the insanity plea would be hotly sought, however, having also heard and seen the reaction to the photos, Doctor Dolan knew that the compulsion had been grasped willingly and it had always been in the prisoner's power to stop had he wished to.

ooo

The silence of the morning was broken by a wailing which echoed through every room in the house. It sounded as if someone, somewhere, thought their world was about to end, and was letting everyone know about it.

Jo put down her cup of coffee, tried not to smile at someone else's distress and then made her way towards the stairs. She knew that the nanny would get to Jayden before she did and rock him back off to sleep, but she was still going to go see her son, just to make sure that he was all right.

The nanny, a paediatric nurse who had decided that she preferred looking after just one baby rather than a whole ward full, had started caring for him the day after Jayden came home from the hospital. The first twenty-four hours, etched forever on her memory, had been a time that Jo had only wanted to spend with her immediate family, and so the young woman had agreed to arrive when she was needed, and been on a retainer to tie her to the Sloans for a little over three weeks.

Jo stood in the doorway to the nursery, delighted with the job that the interior designer had done and watched as the competent young woman soothed her son, gently stroking his face and making sure that he was still dry and comfortable.

It all seemed so natural now, so common-place, but that first day, when she had, at last, been able to place Jayden in his car seat ready for the journey home she'd felt as if her heart would stop at any moment.

_"You're sure that this is the quickest way home?" Sitting in the back of the new station-wagon, bought because of its safety for family use, Jo had been peppering Steve with questions ever since they had left the hospital._

_"Honey, trust me, I have been travelling to and from Community General since the day I was born, I know this is the best way to go." He had told her afterwards that although he was nervous too, she was giving off waves of uncertainty._

_They had pulled up in front of the house, the car containing their ever-present guards' right behind them. Juan had been waiting by the door, opening it as soon as he saw the baby carrier being taken from the vehicle. Steve held the handle in one hand and cradled the entire seat in the other. He strode, quickly, but carefully, into the house, neither of them wanting their son to get chilled or, more worrying, spotted by anyone._

_Ten minutes later they were sitting in the morning room, Jayden, fast asleep, was still in his chair, and the two of them had just looked at each other. Her hands had been clammy, she was watching her son's every move, his chest as it rose and fell, his eyes as they moved beneath his lids, his mouth as it sucked on his pacifier. She saw the soft brown hair as if for the first time. Darker than his dad's but lighter than hers. His eyes, a deep brown now, were hidden, but his pale complexion, surely paler than when they had left the NICU, concerned her, and she reached across and placed the back of one finger against his cheek, relieved to find it warm and soft to the touch._

_"Are you sure he didn't shrink since he left the hospital?" Steve looked at his son and she could see the wonder in his eyes. "Only he looked so much bigger in his isolette."_

_Finally she had been able to relax a little, laughing at her husband's comment. "Just look at that picture on the mantle. If you are thinkin' he's small now, he was tiny then." The photo, taken the day after Jayden had been born, showed how small and dependent on all the machinery he had been. Now that same child was fast asleep in front of them, at home, in __Beverly Hills__. He was a happy, healthy boy, breathing on his own, taking a proper feed every four hours, filling far too many diapers for his mom's liking, and being the baby he should have been before medicine had had to intervene to save his life._

_They had sat; the two of them for another ten minutes or so and then Daniel had joined them. He was leaving the house again quite happily, having finally decided to make the most of life while he had the chance, not hide away from it as he had been doing. This time he had been to the mall, buying two soft toys for his brother and a beautiful bunch of flowers for his mom. They had felt, the three of them, that everything was going to be just fine, but then Jayden had moved a little and begun to cry. All the expertise gained in the NICU was instantly forgotten, their baby was crying, there was no one to help them out, and he was crying!_

Now Jo was able to laugh about it, but at the time they had definitely panicked. All he'd needed was a clean diaper and a bottle. Once he got what he had been asking for Jayden had snuggled down in his momma's arms and gone right back to sleep and she, totally exhausted, had placed him lovingly back in his seat and fallen asleep on the sofa next to him only finding out later that Daniel and Steve had then sat and watched the two of them sleep instead of just one.

Going quietly into the room Jo watched as her son drifted back off into the land of his dreams as she gently touched the tiny fingers just visible over the top of his covers. She knew he would spend most of his time asleep to start with, although already he was staying awake for a little longer in the morning, and again in the evening, but she wished with all her heart that she could spend time just chatting with him, playing with him, being with him and, without wishing her life away, she counted the days until that could happen.

The arrival of Rae and Jesse's housekeeper next door, and the knowledge that their family of two, which had become three, was about to be four, had spurred Jo on to employing a complete staff for her own home. Steve hadn't been all that enthusiastic at first, but after they sat and chatted about it for a while he could see the sense in it. There was no way Juan could keep house, cook, help with Jayden, and still have even a moment to himself, and so, once the ideal nanny had been found, a housekeeper and a part-time maid had also been hired.

The housekeeper, in charge of meals and cleaning, worked five days a week, leaving Juan to cook over the weekend, and taking charge when he took his two days off on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. The maid, who was also the housekeeper's daughter, worked on Mondays and Fridays, to help tidy up after the weekend and also to prepare for it.

Juan had taken over the household finances, dealing with the suppliers of anything and everything to do with the house and gardens, and had also begun chauffeuring not only Daniel to school but also Jo and Jayden anywhere they needed to go.

The atmosphere, slightly strange at first, was now getting to be relaxed and comfortable. Each member of staff knew what their duties were, they didn't encroach into other areas, and Jo was finally seeing her house used in the way it had been designed. It was now a home, serving a happy and content family group.

ooo

The room was quiet, too quiet really, but Steve had no idea what to say and so he continued to look down at his hands, wishing that he were anywhere other than where he was right now.

"No, that's not true."

"I beg your pardon, Captain?" Lauren looked directly at him, not sure if he realised he had spoken.

The look on his face gave her the answer and, smiling slightly, she spoke again. "I have a feeling you were thinking out loud."

"Oh." Beneath the surface he could feel his unease increase. He didn't know what he'd said, but as he had been contemplating not being here he was pretty sure it wasn't good. "What … what did I say, exactly?"

"That something wasn't true." Again she looked at him and saw the conflict in his eyes, the stiff, unbending way he was sitting and her heart went out to him. "Captain, I know this is difficult for you, you're used to being the one asking the questions, the one getting information from someone else. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, or worse, make you wish you were elsewhere, but I do want to help you."

"Yes, I know, but …" He trailed off, this session was an hour long, if he didn't get himself sorted out it would be over before it had hardly begun.

"Captain, I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating. Even though I have worked with both Rae and Jesse, this is a clean slate. Nothing that has been said by them, or by you, will impinge on any treatment I recommend to any of you. And of course everything is in the strictest confidence."

"Oh, yes, I know that, I … well, I wouldn't have started this if I thought otherwise that's not the problem."

"I see, if you don't mind me asking then, what is?" The tape was running on the side of her desk, Steve had nodded when she'd mentioned it, and she was glad of its presence, enabling her to watch and try and understand the man before her who was finding their third meeting so hard. The first two sessions had helped her to find his place in the world, looking at his family, his friendships, but not what was troubling him enough to need to see her. This session would be, she hoped, the first time that Steve would open up and let some of his feelings out.

"I guess part of it is what you said, about me asking rather than being asked, but it's more than that." He paused, but the interrogator in him could see that Lauren wasn't going to intervene this time; she wanted him to do the talking. He needed to talk, there was no doubt about that, but he didn't want to have to relive everything over and over again. Eventually, knowing the only thing to do was to attack the problem head on he began to speak.

"I'm good at what I do, I wouldn't do it otherwise, and I like everything to run smoothly. It seldom does, but when you're a cop you get used to that. Lately though I've felt I have very little control over any aspect of my life."

"I see, and that bothers you. In your profession I can understand how you have to go with the flow so to speak, but at home, with your family, is that what you're really meaning?"

Steve just shook his head, he wasn't explaining himself at all well, if he was giving evidence he would have been ridiculed by now with the defending counsel ripping him to shreds.

"It's not just home, it's more than that, but you know about Jayden, about the guy who's been stalking Jo, and that is all a big part of it ... Look at me," he opened his hands showing the large palms to the petite, black haired woman before him, "I'm a cop, a homicide cop, I deal with murder, robbery, every day of the week, but I can't protect my wife, I can't stop her from being terrified in her own home." To his horror he felt tears well up in his eyes and, standing quickly, strode over to the window.

"Captain Sloan … Steve, you're trying to control the uncontrollable. It's no one's fault your son was born early, and I'm sure that your father has told you there was nothing you could have done to prevent it." She wasn't getting through, the tall man's body language told her that, he was standing straight, but every muscle was taut, every nerve ending was jangling and Lauren realised just how close to the edge he actually was.

"There is a lunatic out there," he gestured with his right hand, sweeping it in an arc across the city laid out before him, "a lunatic who wants to hurt the woman I love most in the entire world. I have the unlimited resources of the LAPD at my disposal and I have no idea where he is. If he … if he gets too …" He paused, the awfulness of what he was thinking too terrible to actually say, "I'll kill him, with my bare hands, I swear I'll kill him." The release of just that little bit of emotion seemed to cause Steve's shoulders to droop and he turned, the pain in his face, his eyes, almost unbearable to see.

"He will make a mistake, you know that, or at least the cop in you knows that. He's way too cocky now, and when he makes the mistake, those unlimited resources will be there to catch him. Captain, it doesn't have to be you."

Although she hadn't said it in so many words Steve knew what she meant and also knew she was right. He didn't have to be the one to catch Wayne; in fact the chances were stacked against it being that way. Wayne may be big headed, but he wasn't a fool, he would keep away from cops, any cops, besides he only preyed on women and children. _Women and children,_ Jo, Daniel, Jayden, those who meant everything to him, he would prey on them and right now all he had was the comfort that so far he hadn't physically hurt any of them.

"I've taken precautions, we both have, Daniel, he has a guard with him all the time, I've lost my police escort since they found the kook writing the threatening letters on behalf of the Red Rose Killer, but I still have someone with me all the time I'm off duty. I don't want us to have to live like that."

"I didn't realise they had the author of the notes, that must be a relief." Lauren smiled, delighted to hear a little bit of good news.

"Oh yeah, a thirty-six year old spinster from Barstow, blonde haired, blue eyed and deeply in love. Wanted desperately to be taken by him, and felt she had lost her one true chance of happiness because Rae and I had gotten to him first." For a second Steve laughed, "And I think I've got problems!"

"I haven't been to see her yet this week, how's your partner doing?" She had thought she was on safe ground, knowing just from the grapevine that the British woman was doing very well, but the look on Steve's face, the way he turned back to the window again, told her that another problem had raised its head.

"Steve?" His body language was different, he was defeated now, slumped, almost looking as if he didn't have the strength to carry his own weight.

"I … I haven't been to see her, not since she came round. I've come here, to the hospital, but I can't, I haven't gone to her room." The tears that threatened him as he'd thought of Jo were still too near the surface to be ignored as his main problems came into view and this time two escaped and ran down his cheeks as he drew in an agonising breath.

"Why ever not?" Lauren didn't need to ask, not for herself at any rate, she could see the answer right before her eyes, and suddenly all the pain, all the emotions of the past weeks were so tangible that she wanted to reach out and grab hold of them so the stoic man in front of her wouldn't hide them from sight ever again.

"What … happened with Rae, was … I see her, y'know, when I close my eyes, I hear her scream … the sound when …" He couldn't continue, and he balled his hands into tight fists digging his nails into his palms, trying to cause physical pain so he could concentrate on that instead. "How can I go sit with her when … how can I do that when I let her fall?"

"You let her fall?" The sound of the incredulity in her voice stopped Lauren from saying anything else, she didn't want to insult or anger him, but, although she knew he would feel guilty about Rae, she had never thought he felt he could have saved her.

His legs were shaking so much Steve knew he had to sit down. Somehow the room seemed to have grown in size; he was sure the chair was far closer when he strode away from it. His feelings, his emotions, seemed to fight every step he took, and when he sat back down Steve had to rest his head in his hands, had to make the world stop shaking, had to ignore the sweat which was pouring off of him, so he could brace himself and tell someone what had happened, what he had seen, the only problem was, he didn't know if he could bring himself to do so.

ooo

Jesse ran a comb through his hair and then looked at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. His hair needed a cut, but he knew Rae liked him to wear it a little longer than he himself cared for it to be. He smiled, knowing that she'd noticed, remembering how she had raised a hand and gently touched his collar letting the ends run over her fingers.

So much had changed in the two weeks since she had thrown her meal across the room and, as he had later found out to his horror, pushed Mark, and thankfully it had changed for the better.

_The news of Rae's behaviour had been passed to him by Alex, along with the fact that he had sedated his patient, and she would be asleep for some time. It had been the following day before Jesse had had a chance to actually go and sit with her again while she was awake, and he had wondered, as he made his way along the hallway, whether he would be ignored and rejected once again._

_He'd tried telling himself it was because she loved and trusted him above everyone else that Rae was able to treat him this way, but it didn't always work. All he knew was every time he saw her she would either look away or just close her eyes and lie still until he left._

_After the meeting he had attended the previous day Jesse had thought long and hard about what he was going to do, and in the end had taken a tablet of paper and a pen with him, determined one way or another that he and Rae would talk._

_His wife, who it appeared, had just finished her evening meal, actually made eye contact with him, which had been a start, and he had explained what it was he wanted to do. She had held her left hand out for the pen but it slipped through her fingers three times and so he offered to write for her._

_Jesse put the letters of the alphabet at the top of the page, and as Rae pointed to them he had written them further down making the words she wanted to say. Her spelling and letter recognition didn't seem to be too affected by her accident, and step by step a short message had formed._

_I am sorry, and I love you._

_For a moment he had just smiled at her and then she pointed again. Gradually another message appeared,_

_I am scared, please help me._

_He had wanted nothing more, and so he talked while Rae listened, spelling words out if she had a question or comment, and when the nurse came in with her night time medication with Alex just behind her, he was amazed to see they had been talking for over three hours._

Sometimes, he guessed, life took off like a speeding train, never slowing down for stations, or signals, or anything else. Jesse had a feeling Steve and Jo would also feel that life was running just a little too fast right now, but their problems and joys were the culmination of months of fear and heartache, whereas his had, quite literally, fallen out of the sky. He shuddered, the analogy was horrific and he pushed the images it conjured up out of his mind and straightened his tie before leaving his bedroom and walking out into the hallway.

Mrs Cameron was just coming from the girls' room with an armful of laundry as he reached the door and smiling Jesse opened up the lidded basket which he realised was standing next to him.

"Och, thank you, Doctor Travis, I'll move this out of your way, now." The American accent was softly highlighted by a Scottish lilt and never failed to lift Jesse's spirits.

"It's not a problem, Mrs Cameron, I know how much dirty washing those two make, are you sure one basket is enough?"

"Well, it's funny ye should mention that, because this is actually my second trip." The woman pointed down the hallway to the upstairs laundry room and he could see another collection of clothes ready for washing. Her laugh as she spoke was warm and friendly and once again Jesse thanked whoever was responsible for sending this dependable, open and extremely likeable woman to them.

"Daddy, Daddy, I'm ready." Eliana came bouncing out of one of the guest bedrooms where Miss Vicki had taken her to get dressed so as to keep out of the way of Miss 'Nett. Eliana spoke beautifully now, but the name Jeanette had totally stumped her and so between them they had decided that Miss 'Nett would do just fine.

The little girl, still small for her age, was dressed in blue jeans with butterflies embroidered all up one leg and a lilac top which also had butterflies and flowers sewn onto the right sleeve. Her white sneakers were impossibly clean, but only because they were less than two days old. Her hair, now reaching down to the belt loops on her pants, hung in shiny, bouncing ringlets, and was fastened back behind each ear with bright, sparkly grips. Anneya, also clean and smiling held happily onto Miss Vicki's hand as she stood taking in everything around her with intelligent, searching bright blue eyes. She was in a pink skirt and top, her blonde hair braided and neat, at least for the time being.

Today was Eliana's day to visit with her mom. She had sat and listened to all Anneya had to say the previous afternoon after her younger sister had spent her hour at the hospital and now was more than anxious to get there herself.

Anneya had spoken with her hands for a long time, not in sentences, she didn't think that way yet, but observations suddenly sprang forth, '_Mommy smiled at me' _then there was silence for a minute or two, _'Mommy hold my picture,'_ and then, a little later, '_Mommy tired, I kiss her to sleep.'_ For a three-year-old her vocabulary was very good, and Jesse and Eliana's understanding of her signs was growing every day. They practised with Anneya, in a game they called sign school, and all enjoyed it enormously. It had happened by accident one afternoon when the little girl began showing her father and sister a new word she had learnt. Jesse had laughed and said to Miss Vicki that Anneya was a natural teacher. When that had been signed a change came over the small child, and she positively blossomed. Anneya went to school three mornings a week. It was a pre-school for Deaf children and so she knew what a teacher of sign did. Standing by the chalk-board in the playroom she had begun to slowly sign a word and then pointed to its actual counterpart. The word had been chalk and Jesse and Eliana had copied her, getting a signed, and therefore silent, clap when they got it right. Now each time Anneya came home from pre-school with new words to learn they would practice together, laughing and cuddling as they did so.

"Daddy!" The one insistent word brought Jesse out of his ponderings and he smiled.

"You look beautiful, Honey, and I know Mommy is looking forward to seeing you." His comment caused Eliana to bounce up and down, her curls doing their own independent dance as she did so.

"So, let's go then, time's a wastin'." The laugh from the housekeeper told Jesse that his daughter was learning from her as well as Miss Vicki and with a light heart he took the soft hand of his child into his own and made his way down the stairs.

ooo

She was excited, her eyes were bright, sparkling, and if she could have moved she would have. Rae was waiting for her eldest daughter and her husband to come and spend a little time with her.

Mark had called in just five minutes earlier and was now sitting, trying to keep her calm, and wondering at the change that had taken place in her over the last two weeks.

The day she had thrown her food and then almost pushed him over had been her lowest point so far. Alex had sedated her and then called a meeting of not only the doctors undertaking her care but also Jesse and Mark. They had agreed that, although she was still in a lot of pain, still needing constant care and attention, they should begin to at least appear to be moving things forward.

Both Alex and Mark knew part of the problem that morning had been her frustration as she realised her limitations, and that, combined with a nurse offering to feed her, had caused her to blow.

Mark had been very impressed with the way Alex had managed the meeting, setting out exactly what he wanted to do, listening to those more experienced than him and being prepared to change things, just a little.

_"Rae, as Jesse will attest, is a very stubborn woman when she puts her mind to it." Alex had paused as Jesse nodded his head. "And right now she is definitely putting her mind to it. If we aren't careful we are gonna have severe depression to treat as well as her injuries, and I don't want that to happen."_

_"I've seen her at least once or twice every week since she was admitted, but her language skills are so limited that making any progress is very difficult." Lauren Yung had spoken first of those also in the room. She had known Rae a long time, seeing her through many difficulties and Mark knew she trusted the therapist totally._

_"We have to stop treating her as an invalid, even though she is one, we have to stretch her. If she has toast on her plate then she picks it up and tries to put it in her mouth. Unless she asks we don't do." Mark was sure it was the loss of independence that was causing Rae the most harm. He was almost certain she didn't remember what had happened to her, apart from what she had been told, which was that she had had a work related accident, and as, worryingly, his son had been unable to visit with her since she had regained consciousness, there had been nothing visible to jog her memory._

_"The swelling in her lower back has subsided now, and I'm arranging for tests to be done to ascertain what damage she has sustained. With her right leg so badly broken though I'm not hurrying with this, in fact I doubt whether anything will be done for at least another week maybe two." The orthopaedic surgeon, Doctor Sanchez, who had worked with Alex in the operating room spoke quietly. He and Alex had consulted regularly since the surgery and both doctors were in agreement as to the type of treatment that would be considered._

_The speech therapist Rae had seen the first time she received a serious head injury had moved to New York and so she was now seeing a young man called Marshall Kelly who was approved not only by the hospital and the insurance company but also the LAPD. The sessions hadn't been very long so far, and had concentrated mainly on getting Rae to make specific sounds._

_"I could move on to 'i' sounds, that way she could say 'hi' and 'bye'. She would actually be conversing with people. Somehow 'no' and 'goway' don't inspire friendly conversation."_

_In the end it had been decided that, although in essence the treatment would still move at the same pace as previously, it would appear to Rae that she was making huge progress. The nurses would be told not to mother her, but to expect her to do just a little more than she actually could, that way if she did have to ask Rae would have the satisfaction of knowing she had tried first._

Mark looked at the animated face of his friend and smiled. The tactics had worked far better than anyone had dreamed. At first, when she had woken up Rae had been mortified at her behaviour. She had cried when she saw Mark, her embarrassment and confusion plain for all to see. He had held her, gently, knowing almost all of her was still tender in one way or another, and told her over and over that he knew how frustrated she was, that she hadn't hurt him and most importantly that it was forgotten. Finally she had looked up at him, pain in her face and eyes and just made a kissing sound, and he knew she believed him.

The sound of Rae's eldest child, or at least her eldest child that lived in America, chattering as she came along the hallway, suddenly filled the air. Rae was no longer in the ICU, having been moved to an intermediate care room just three days earlier and so Eliana didn't have to keep as quiet as she had on her previous visits.

"Mommy, Mommy, I'm here." The proclamation, made with the confidence of youth, caused Mark to chuckle.

"Hi, Grandpa Mark, how are you today?" The little girl stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek and he took her into his arms and hugged her.

"I'm just dandy, thank you, how about you?" He smiled, she was a beautiful child, and he loved her dearly. He had two grandsons of his own now, but she would always have a special place in his heart, as would her sister, who was his goddaughter.

"I am fine, thank you. But I want to talk to Mommy."

"Eliana!" Jesse's voice caused his daughter to look worried, but Mark raised his hand in understanding.

"Of course she does, not an old 'un like me. Here you go, Honey, I've kept the seat warm for you."

The little girl climbed up onto the chair and Jesse moved round to the other side of the bed before leaning over and kissing his wife gently on the lips. Mark, smiling broadly, watched the scene for a moment or two before leaving, knowing in his heart that whatever problems Rae's injuries would continue to cause her, she loved and was loved enough in return to face them all with the confidence given her by her family who would always be by her side.


	29. Chapter 29

29 **And Backwards**

Lauren had said nothing for almost two minutes. She watched as her patient willed himself to continue with the consultation, knowing that the time was racing by and there was no way she could allow him to leave in his current state. At last seeing him take a measured breath she began to speak.

"Steve, are you able to continue?" She wanted to move round and sit next to him, wanted to help him fight his demons almost as much as he did but, not knowing him well enough yet to intrude on his personal space, she just sat and waited for his reply.

He knew that the easy answer would be to say no, to finish the session early and just return to work, but he also knew that if he did that he would never come back, and so, shakily but with determination, he looked up at her.

"Yes, I … I don't know how much good I'll be, but yes." The tears were still there, mercifully hidden now, but he could feel the way his throat was tightening and he swallowed hard, hoping that would keep them at bay.

"Ok, I think we need to address this notion of blame for a moment. I have no real idea what happened on that fire escape, except it was horrific and led to the capture of one of the most wanted men in the country. There is obviously more to it than that, so maybe you'd better tell me what you saw."

Steve nodded, inside he knew it all came down to this. The image of Rae on that awful day had been the last straw. The problems at home, with Jayden, David, Wayne, those he had been coping with until that Friday. If he could, finally, let out his feelings then maybe he could also begin to live properly again. Right now, even at home, with his family, Steve felt as if he was slightly out of alignment with them, distanced just enough for it not to be noticed by anyone but him. He didn't want it to be like that, wanted instead to feel he belonged again, but more than that, he needed to feel that way. Jo was his soul mate, the woman he planned to spend the rest of his life with, but they had moved apart, or more to the point he had moved away. Now he had to find his way back. What he had to do was difficult, especially for him, but he had never shirked his responsibilities before and he wasn't about to start now.

"We didn't know who this Matthew guy was; just that Rae had found his name in a journal of another murder victim. Until that moment we had no idea the two might be linked. Now … well …" He trailed off, feeling suddenly disloyal.

"Yes, Captain?"

He looked into the face of the young Asian-American woman in front of him and suddenly knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he could trust her. Swallowing hard he began again, knowing, as well, that he had to speak and that in the end it would be all right.

"There was a coroner's report, Doctor Bentley's report, I don't know why Rae didn't spot the link, Amanda was away, on a course, so she couldn't tell her." He paused again, remembering how the similarities had screamed at him, and wondered whether it was only because he had the benefit of hindsight.

"The victim, his name was Albert, had been stabbed in the back and then had his throat cut. We get one or the other all the time, but the two combined should've screamed Red Rose Killer, or at least a connection to it."

"What you're saying, Captain, is Rae didn't join the two together until she read the journal, but they were definitely linked." She saw him nod and was surprised her friend had missed this, but realised it was only scene setting; it wasn't the cause of Steve's problems.

"Oh yeah, Albert was the janitor of the building where Matthew Little lived. We just didn't know he was our murderer. If we had … well, things would have been done differently, she … she wouldn't have had the chance to fall.

"We realised almost immediately we entered the apartment that this was way more than an interview with a friend of the killer. We had, accidentally, found everything we needed to convict him, apart from the man himself. But we still thought he was just keeping his stuff there, it never occurred to either of us that Matthew and Dominic were the same person.

"He must have come home," he paused for a moment, remembering as he did so his confusion as to why the man hadn't entered through the front entrance, but he knew now why that had happened, "seen something to tip him off that we were in his apartment, I don't know what, but he came up the fire escape. We'd called for backup, and were looking at some of the evidence when … when ..." He stopped, in his mind's eye he could see her, her face draining of colour as she realised that in her hands was the hair of some of the victims.

"She rushed out, I … I didn't want to embarrass her so I stayed back. I didn't even see him until it was too late … I heard her scream but I didn't understand … I ran … I … I think I ran …" His breath was coming in gulps now and for a moment he had to stop talking, his hands were in his hair, grasping it, pulling at it, or just smoothing it back, over and over in a movement he had always associated with his partner, and it seemed as if he was unable to stop himself from repeating it.

"Captain, put your hands in your lap." The voice was soft, but the words were most definitely an order and he immediately obeyed.

"Steve, I know this is difficult for you, but you're almost done, at least I think you are, so please, continue." She had quietly changed the tape in the machine as she spoke, and then made a brief note of how he was reacting, sitting, even breathing before waiting calmly for him to begin again.

"She called my name … oh, God … she wanted me to save her but I couldn't …" There were tears now, but he didn't care, and knew he couldn't stop them anyway. "He … he heard her too, and … and …" Steve was back there, on the fire escape, he could see her, or the little of her still on view, her hands, white around the rails, literally hanging on for dear life, and then the foot, raising, aiming … the bile rose in his throat, but he fought it back down and Lauren, seeing him go a deathly white, was suddenly extremely concerned and moved closer, not knowing how to help but hoping that her presence would be enough.

"He … he kicked her … kicked her hands … I couldn't stop him, and she screamed again … I hear her, at night I hear …" His hands were over his ears now, although Lauren thought that he had no idea of what he was doing. "I … I've moved out of our room, I can't stay, I call for her, I know I do … what will that … How can I do that to Jo?" The return to the present was only fleeting, his focus was still in the past and with almost no break he returned to that scene.

"She hit … oh God, help me, she hit the ground, I heard …" He seemed to almost run out of air, of energy and the final words were spoken by a defeated man, "I heard her … and now … over and over, I just keep hearing her hit the ground." He was spent now, he could feel himself begin to shake, could hear Lauren's voice calling him, but it was too much to even think of answering, and so, knowing that she would understand, he just stopped listening.

ooo

The house had been peaceful for over two hours. Jayden was sleeping upstairs, his nanny spending her down time either reading, on the computer, or keeping the nursery tidy. Daniel had been out since just after breakfast planning to spend the day with Maddie. Juan was answering the phone, but until it rang he too had been undertaking his duties, keeping an eye on the housekeeper and the maid as well as preparing for the weekend.

The sound of the phone ringing had broken Jo's concentration and she paused to take a drink of her rapidly cooling coffee. The table in the morning room was littered with pieces of paper, plastic wallets, manila files and computer discs as well as a laptop computer, printer and scanner, and although it looked like chaos there was some order, to her at least, and she felt that progress was being made.

David had been back and forward from Texas to LA many times since the week of Rae's accident. Debbie, true to her word, had filed not only for divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty but also sole custody of their daughter. The company auditors had gone over the books with a fine-toothed-comb, finding nothing irregular except for the daily payments which David had apparently authorised, but for which no recipient could be found.

The account into which the monies had been placed immediately split up the amount and sent it off in various directions to both Switzerland and the Cayman Islands. Unfortunately so far no further information than that had been discovered.

In the divorce settlement Debbie had claimed half of everything that not only David owned but also anything pertaining to Walters Ranching and Oil stating that she had evidence to prove she was entitled to that, at least, if not more. Jo's job was to find out what evidence her sister-in-law meant because she had the papers going back over the past hundred years or so and could look at the information easily.

Florence Walters, Jo's grandmamma, had instilled in both her and her brother the need to keep accurate records of every dollar they spent because, when they had as much money as the Walters' did, it was a necessary evil to have to account for all of it. The old woman's record keeping hadn't ended with the finances however, and Jo was trawling through pages and pages of information that the Walters' matriarch had kept over her lifetime trying to see if anything there could help her in her quest. On the table before her were the papers relating to the gems in the safe, the letters from Jo's ancestor who had given up her child, as well as other letters and documents that she hadn't even glanced at yet. She had a feeling it could be a very long day.

"Excuse me, Madam, but the hospital is on the phone for you." Juan had come quietly into the room and, seeing that his employer was not concentrating on anything apparent, spoken immediately.

"Oh, thank you." She said nothing more but suddenly her heart was racing. Not only was Rae there, but Steve too, although she thought his appointment would be finished by now. Taking the handset from her butler she held it to her ear and began to speak.

"This is Jo Sloan … yes, yes, I know who you are, but we have never had the pleasure of meetin' … oh my, of course … no he shouldn't, I quite agree … I can be there in …" She paused to check her watch, "about thirty to forty minutes … no, I have a chauffeur … I will arrange that … Can you get a message to Doctor Sloan? Ask him to meet me there …? Thank you." Silently she handed the receiver back to Juan, her face, previously relaxed but focussed, now anxious and full of concern.

"We have to go to the hospital, Steve … I … I'll tell you on the way, I'll just go an' see Jayden, can you get the car ready an' I suppose tell our guard as well?" She watched as the young man before her nodded silently and then, gathering up a pile of the unread papers to look at on the journey to keep her mind occupied, she headed towards the stairs so that she could kiss her sleeping son goodbye before leaving.

ooo

Everywhere he went to get closer to his target he was met with guards or cops. Wayne could see her, getting into the car parked just outside the main entrance to her home, but not only was the new butler standing with her but a security guard, gun on his hip, taking in the entire scene with an experienced eye, as well.

He had decided now that he would kill her. The letters, phone calls, the attack on her friend, none of that seemed to have had the desired effect, she hadn't buckled beneath his attack and so he would have to change his tactics. She must be stronger now than when he had known her before, but she wouldn't be stronger than a bullet or a knife. He smiled as another thought occurred to him. Maybe the son should die first, not the baby, darn thing never left the house, but the boy, the heir to millions, he'd stayed inside for a while but now was forever out and about again enjoying his vacation from school, taking his guard all over LA, losing him sometimes too, he'd seen him in the mall at the end of the street earlier, sitting, just him and his girlfriend, without anyone else in sight who seemed the slightest bit interested in them.

He couldn't let himself be seen or captured and so, almost as soon as his car had stopped, when he realised that his prey was outside her house, he pulled away again, driving off carefully, tinted windows all closed, not wanting to let anyone know that he had been there.

He knew just how to get to the boy, knew that he would be able to carry out his plan without anyone even realising that it was him, until, of course, it was too late, and then, after he had left, no one would be in any doubt about just who had pulled the trigger. The laugh that filled his car was one of pure enjoyment, the slight insanity that it contained a chilling factor not noticed by Wayne and, as he sat waiting for the lights to change, he watched her draw up in her chauffeur driven limo and the laugh grew louder and more maniacal by the second.

ooo

The physiotherapist had arrived in Rae's room just as she was saying goodbye to her husband and daughter. The young woman, who was called Michelle Grearly, was newly qualified but already highly regarded and she watched the scene, from the hallway, with a smile and waited quietly. The little girl, happy and smiling at first, seemed unwilling to leave and she saw the beautiful face become gradually more upset until she suddenly flung herself at her mother, crying and telling her loudly how much she loved her.

Realising that she could maybe help a little bit Michelle came into the room. "Well hi there, you must be Rae's daughter, is that right?"

Eliana looked round at the sound; her face now disfigured with tears and seeing her daddy nod, nodded as well as she continued to cry.

"It looks like you're getting ready to leave." There was a not so dainty sniff from Eliana as she agreed with the new person in the room. "Well, I was wondering, do you think that if you stayed for just a little longer you could help your mommy and me with her exercises?"

The reaction was instant and Eliana moved away from her mother waiting for her instructions.

"You have to promise me though, that when we get through with the ones Mommy needs help with you will go home and let me spend the rest of the time with her by myself."

"K. I promise." The smile was back now, and carefully watching and listening hard, the little girl did exactly as she was told; holding her mother's hand for one exercise, pushing against it for another, until finally, after about ten minutes, Michelle told her that it was time to leave. This time there was no moaning, just a kiss on her mom's cheek before Jesse took hold of his daughter's hand and, mouthing a thank you, left the room with her.

The rest of the half hour session had been far harder than the warm up exercises, and now, left alone again, Rae felt very tired. She felt far more positive than she had done however, and, as she lay back against her pillows, she realised that, although she was still reliant on others and probably always would be, somehow, when she could do little things for herself it didn't seem quite so bad and gradually as her eyes closed she could feel a more optimistic attitude envelope her.

She had no idea how long she had been asleep before she was woken by the tapping of knuckles on the door and she yawned and then carefully turned her head so as not to jar any of her recovering muscles. The two people standing there were welcome visitors and she smiled sleepily and practised one of her newly re-learnt words. "Hi."

"Hello, Rae. How are you feeling today?"

The tablet of paper with the alphabet at the top of each page, written neatly by Jesse, was within her reach on the nightstand and so Rae picked it up a little clumsily and handed it over. Then she pointed to the letter 'b' and watched as the Chief of Police carefully wrote that down on the third line of the page.

Gradually the word 'better' appeared and, never one to use three words when one would do, the chief decided that was a long enough answer and laid down the pen.

Rae's other visitor was Alex and he almost automatically took her vital signs, read figures on monitors and then smiled. "Things are looking good. I know you've recently had a workout, so your elevated blood pressure about an hour ago is to be expected, but overall, this is excellent."

The smile he received as an answer told the young doctor that his plan of action was working very well. The next part of that was about to unfold, and he was a little concerned that it could, initially, cause Rae to suffer a relapse.

Several times since she had begun dictating messages Rae had asked how she had gotten in the hospital as well as what was wrong with her. The answer to her second question had been eagerly given, everyone knowing that she would work her way through her injuries far better if she understood them. The cause of her hospitalization however, had been a different matter. Initially Alex had decided that she wasn't strong enough to hear the details and while she had been on the ventilator, with no chance of communicating either her expected distress or the questions that such a disclosure would result in, the matter had been left well alone. The first step had been to tell Rae that she had been injured on duty, and for a while that had seemed to suffice. Now however, that was no longer the case and John Masters was here to tell her, in any amount of detail she wished, just how she had ended up once again fighting for her life in Community General Hospital, but not until the other people needed for this ordeal were also present.

ooo

The papers in front of Mark on his desk gave him a funny feeling inside. His grandson's request had started him wondering and with Cheryl's help he had begun to collect information on Daniel's past and the events that had surrounded it. Now, piled neatly next to old newspapers and magazine articles were, sadly, only a few details of a childhood that Daniel remembered vaguely. Hopefully the book that Mark was planning to make would change that, and give the boy a sense of place, a sense of belonging.

The past sixteen years had contained a great deal of world history and because of the lack of personal information Mark had decided to weave Daniel's life story in-between national and international events. Cheryl had pulled a few strings and obtained a copy of the photograph the police had used when the boy's mother had disappeared. It was different to the one that Mark knew Daniel had in his nightstand drawer, and that was now on the desk along with three school photos that had taken all of Mark's guile and charm to obtain.

Mark was very careful not to put ex-patients in the position of feeling indebted to him, but many of them had become friends, and were happy to help him out occasionally. One of those was Merv Tillerman, now quite a senior figure in the organization of the city's schools, although when Mark had first met him he had been a high school teacher with a ruptured appendix. When Merv had heard what it was that Mark was trying to do he had dipped into various records and archives, finding not only photos but also copies of report cards and even a few class pictures that showed some of Daniels peers from kindergarten, pre-school and junior high.

All that needed to be done now was to put the newly acquired information with the things that Steve, Jo and Jesse had provided, as well as some great stuff from Alex. Once that was done Mark hoped to present a scrapbook to his grandson, leaving a few pages blank so that he could continue on with it, should he want to. He had just picked up a photo of the boy when he was seven years old when his phone rang. Answering it up almost absentmindedly he listened, his face growing grave, and then, sweeping all the different items into a drawer of his desk he stood up and left the room at a run.

ooo

Cheryl and Ron sat in an empty interview room and looked at the mountain of paper they seemed to have accumulated. The sessions with Dominic, Matthew, or whoever he chose to be at any given moment, were coming to a close and they only had one more planned but it promised to be the most traumatic one for all of them.

The previous day had been spent in a small apartment on the outskirts of Big Bear. They had discussed the possibility of just driving on through and having an impromptu vacation but had decided that not only would they lose their jobs, but divorce and separation might follow. Instead they had done as planned and interviewed the foster sister of Nicholas Large, as she had known him.

Melissa Edwards had been an attractive blonde-haired woman in her mid to late thirties. She remembered Nicholas Large very well, but hadn't connected him to the Red Rose killings in Los Angeles, not paying much attention, she said, to news from that far away. As the journey had taken under three hours both Cheryl and Ron had been a little surprised at her insular nature.

Nicholas had been portrayed as a troubled child, already switching personalities, but only when he was with his sister. Their foster parents had been very disturbed by the small boy's announcement that he had other people living inside of him and taken him from one doctor to another for about six months before he had begged them to just let him be.

"I really thought they would send him away," Melissa had sat, a cigarette in a long holder resting artfully in her right hand, "I had a brother who set fires, he didn't last long. They liked Nic though, so did I, he was my brother for the longest time, I guess in a way he still is. I'd been with Mom and Dad since I was two, Nic arrived when I was about eight and he was seven. He'd been in a coupla homes where they had really treated him bad, in the last one he'd been beaten, ended up in the hospital. That was where Matthew came from. I didn't understand, being only eight, but that's what he said, 'Matthew came with me from my last home.' I wonder why I remember that after all this time." She had shaken her head and half smiled.

"How long did Nicholas stay with your family?" Cheryl had shared Steve's dismay at the news that their killer had a family they knew nothing about, but seeing how sheltered this woman kept herself she was no longer surprised.

"He ran away at sixteen, he'd had enough of school, didn't want to stay in LA any longer. I could understand it, Mom was dying, leukaemia, she was young, only forty-five, he said that those he loved always left him and he was going to leave himself this time, before it could happen to him again. I … I never saw him after that, and Mom, she just faded away right from when he went, felt she had let him down." A tear escaped onto the cheek of the obviously upset woman in front of them and Cheryl had waited while she controlled herself.

"Do you know what he meant by the statement that his loved ones always left him?" It was Ron who had broken the silence, hoping that his question wasn't asked too soon.

"His mom died when he was born, he had no idea who his dad was, didn't really know a whole lot about his mother either. What he did know was that, in his mind, he loved her dearly; she loved him the same way and would have treated him like a king. He couldn't even contemplate the fact that she would have been anything other than perfect. But life isn't like that, is it?"

"No, Ma'am, it isn't." Ron was making notes the whole time he listened. He had known about the birth mother dying, been amazed, although he guessed he shouldn't be, at the fact that Mark had delivered their killer, but he hadn't known about the second mom's death. All his training, his instincts, told him that these two happenings, even though the first one was impossible for Large to remember, had paved the way for the man he had become. Add to that the fact that his girlfriend in New York had been the first victim, and so obviously had a huge part to play in the scenario too, and Ron was certain that he could profile Nicholas accurately before the trial.

Melissa Edwards had a box with photos inside it and she rummaged through them until she found a picture, colour, but faded, of two young children sitting on a swing seat. The young girl, a rag doll in her hands, was smiling brightly, the little boy, younger, if only slightly, was also smiling, but his eyes weren't focussed on the camera, he was looking at his sister.

"Is that Issa?" Cheryl leant over and pointed to the doll.

"Yes, however did you know that?" The realization hit her as she spoke and another tear fell. "He remembered?"

"Yes, he did, that's how I know." Cheryl smiled, the knowledge had surprised and touched the woman in front of her and again the room was silent as Melissa gathered herself once more.

"Can you give him this?" She held out the picture. "I … I could write him, or even come visit." She looked around, uncertain what to do or say next. "My husband, we work together, he's a ski instructor in the winter, we rent a couple of condos all year. I could come for a little while, and the trial … if he would like a friendly face. I …" Her words trailed off, and it was clear that she had no idea what else to say, what to commit herself to, and Cheryl shook her head.

"We don't have a date for trial yet. He's been arraigned, and we have due cause, but the actual trial could be a year away, maybe more. I think he would be pleased to have the picture though, and I can get an address for him so you could write. Your letters would be read first, as would his replies, if there are any."

"Thank you, I … I would like that." Her face did look a little more relaxed but both Ron and Cheryl knew that once they left her alone her emotions would take over, and she would have a very difficult time holding it all together.

"I missed him, when he left, but I got married at eighteen, we've been here ever since. My husband was born in this apartment, he grew up here, I … I didn't think I would ever go back, this is all so much nicer than LA, but whatever he's done, he is family, the only real brother I ever had."

As they'd driven back both Ron and Cheryl had turned over Melissa Edwards disclosures and saw their prisoner in a different light. Ron saw the psychological damage that had been done, the way life had conspired against the young man until, in the end, he had fought against it, against all of his demons in the most horrific way imaginable. He still thought him guilty as hell and wanted him to receive the ultimate sentence, but now, gradually, he could see reasons behind it all.

Cheryl too was thinking about Nicholas's past, but not in quite the same way as her companion. She couldn't understand how someone who had obviously loved his foster mom could just walk away, leave his father, his sister, leave his mother to die without him, and she added that cold calculated behaviour to what she already knew about him and realised that she wasn't in the least bit surprised.

ooo

The music in the mall was annoyingly summery. In one way it didn't matter, when they were together the music became incidental as he enjoyed Maddie's company. She was older than him, almost four years older, but somehow they fitted together, and Daniel knew that she liked being with him too. He also knew there wouldn't be that much time left to enjoy the company because she would be back at college soon, and he would be back at school.

By the time he finished at Beverly Hills High, Maddie would be graduating college and they would drift apart, their lives taking them to even more different places than it did right now. In the meantime, while she wanted to spend time with him, he was glad to oblige.

His thoughts had sent him off into dreamland and Maddie, after watching him for a little while, reached out and touched his hand, apologising immediately when he almost jumped out of his chair.

"I am so sorry; I just wondered where you were going in your mind." She removed her hand, not wanting to embarrass him any more than he already was.

"It's no problem, I was just thinking about a million things." He looked at his watch to cover his confusion and then spoke again. "The movie starts in ten minutes, do you want anything else to eat, or should we go on in?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you. We could grab some popcorn though." Maddie held the tickets in her hand, as eager as her young friend to get to their seats ready to see the final _Star Wars_ movie. He had told her about the marathon showing that had been on near the hospital that he had attended with his dad, and when she had shown an interest in the films had immediately offered to take her to see the new one.

Linking arms the two of them began their walk towards the theatre, their guard keeping a little bit of distance and hoping for a quick snooze while they blasted their way around the galaxy. None of them saw the man, a newspaper in front of his face and undrunk cup of coffee before him, get up from his seat and follow them in.

ooo

Jo had resisted the temptation to race towards the consulting rooms where Steve and Lauren Yung were waiting for her. She knew Mark would be there too, checking over his son, but she also knew she would ask the same questions over again, and hoped that Steve wouldn't get angry.

The secretary smiled as she introduced herself and indicated that she should go right on in. Knocking and listening for a response Jo tried to calm her breathing, running her fingers through her hair to smooth it a little and then, after closing her eyes for a second, she turned the handle and walked in.

Lauren, or she presumed it was Lauren, was crouched down in front of her husband who was sitting on a sofa, his father, as she had known he would be, right next to him. That part of the scene was reassuring, but Steve, although he looked up at her, had dead eyes, there was no life, no animation, he looked totally empty.

"Mark?" She knew somehow that to speak to Steve would be a bad idea, she could see his hand, his left hand resting on his leg, but it was shaking slightly and that, added to his demeanour, told her that her husband was in big trouble.

"Hi, Honey, come on over here. This is Lauren Yung." The dark-haired woman got to her feet and extended her hand as Mark spoke.

"I am very pleased to meet you, but I'm sorry that it's not a more social occasion."

"Me too. Can you tell me what happened?" Jo was looking at her husband, knowing that he wouldn't look back at her, not again, and was anxious to find out why he was so non-responsive.

"Not really, what we talked about has to remain confidential, but I can tell you that we covered a lot of ground. I think it will just take him a little while to get back to a place where he can start talking again." Lauren knew she was saying a lot as well as saying nothing, but felt the woman before her would understand.

"Mark?" Jo's voice was shaking a little and she could feel tears pricking her eyes at the vision her husband presented before her, but still he didn't look up again, even though her distress was obvious.

"Honey, he's been through an awful lot, you know that, what with Jayden, worrying about him, you, and then when Rae …" Mark paused as he saw his son jerk slightly beside him "well, that was one too many problems."

"What do I do? How can I make it better? I know he has been havin' bad dreams, did … did he tell you about them?" She looked back at the therapist knowing instinctively he had, but that she wouldn't get a positive reply.

"I can't tell you, but what I can tell you again, is that we covered a lot of ground." It was as close as Lauren would get to admitting Jo was on the right track.

"Can we take him home? I don't want him stayin' here, I'll hire a nurse if necessary, but he should be home. You could come see him at home for his appointments."

"I agree although right now I don't think a nurse will be necessary. If you don't mind I'll come home with you, get him settled." Mark had moved just a step away from Steve and placed a hand on his daughter-in-law's arm. She placed her hand over it and gently squeezed.

"I will have Juan call ahead an' get a bed made up for you. I wouldn't hear of you goin' home an' then sittin' worryin' about your son."

"Me, worry?" For a moment the sparkle was back in Mark's eyes, but the concern soon returned and he was drawn to his son, even though there was no response from Steve as Mark sat back down on the sofa next to him.

Jo looked at the two men together, and realised, maybe for the first time, just how much she must have worried them when she too had retreated from the difficulties around her, and she vowed to do everything in her power to get her husband to come back to her as soon as he was able.

ooo

The tears which slipped down Rae's face affected everyone in the room. She was trying valiantly to keep everything together, but as Chief Masters had begun to explain to her just what had happened she had started to recall things herself shaking first and then letting the tears fall as she tried to concentrate.

Unable to speak or spell due to her distress she had held her hands out in front of her, trying to show how she remembered holding on to the rails, that she could see herself hanging and the tears had started in earnest.

John Masters had read his newest Captain's statement on the incident that left Rae in her current situation, as well as the paperwork from Detective Banks and Agent Wagner before coming to speak with his officer. He had been visibly affected by what he'd learnt and been glad that he was in the safety and comfort of his own home at the time. Carefully choosing his words he told her about the treatment that she had received at the scene, how Doctor Bentley and Captain Sloan had remained with her, her ex-partner accompanying her to the hospital and staying almost all night as had the rest of her family and close friends.

Alex had taken over the description once she had arrived in the hospital, explaining her initial treatment, and briefly what Steve had told him.

It was clear that Rae couldn't take in any more than she'd already heard and shaking hard she had leant against Jesse crying until she had no more tears left before falling asleep in his arms.

If he had been alone Jesse would have let her rest a little longer within his loving grasp, but as it was he gently laid her back into her pillow, making sure she looked comfortable and at peace before reluctantly leaving her to rest.

The three men had left the room, Alex stopping briefly to give a message to the nurse on duty that he was to be paged if Rae seemed at all distressed, and then they retired to the doctors' lounge.

"I don't want to appear rude, but I want to get back to Rae, in case she wakes up." Jesse was pouring three mugs of coffee as he spoke but it was clear that he was already wishing he was back in the Intermediate Care Unit.

"How much more detail are you going to give her, Chief? I know you'll need a statement from her and I also know you skirted around some of the information you've already got from Steve." Alex was also concerned, not to get back to Rae, he would be paged if he was needed, he was far more worried about how his patient would react when she woke up, and whether she would have to go through another ordeal like the one she had just suffered.

"We will have to speak with her again, but it'll be me, Doctor, not some nameless officer she doesn't know or trust. I intend to take her statement myself, and offer any comfort and support I can. Now though," he checked his watch as he spoke, "I have to be going; I have an unavoidable meeting with the Governor this evening." The slight look of distain on John Masters' face was gone almost before it arrived, but Jesse laughed.

"Don't forget your body-building equipment."

"Thank you, Doctor Travis, please let your wife know I will be thinking of her."

"Yes, Sir, I'll do that." Jesse looked amazed, the man who was walking past him after shaking him by the hand was one of the most reserved characters he thought he had ever met, but that didn't mean he didn't have the ability to wrong foot him now and again and this was definitely one of those times.

Once the two doctors were left alone Jesse had made his excuses and rushed back to the room where his wife lay sleeping. Making himself comfortable he went back just a couple of hours, seeing the scene before him.

He had arrived, according to Alex, in Rae's room almost five minutes after the Chief and his wife's doctor. A message had been received from Lauren Yung's office saying she had been unavoidably detained and unless they wished to hold off until the next day she suggested they start without her.

Rae had been getting quite agitated as she waited for something, she had dictated, she was no longer sure she wanted to know. The serious expressions on the faces of her doctor and boss as well as himself, Jesse was sure, scared her, he had known her heart was beating faster, and had seen Alex check the monitor a few times already as he, almost unconsciously, did the same.

In the first few minutes after Jesse arrived he had watched her relax a little and could tell she felt slightly better about things, but it was clear she knew whatever had happened had been cataclysmic in nature and resulted in her still being in the hospital almost three months later and her messages on the tablet of paper had been anxious and insistent.

She had asked one question that had gotten an answer which only partly satisfied her. Rae wanted to know why Steve hadn't been to visit with her and Jesse had explained that he was now a Captain with his own precinct and no one had seen very much of him. She had nodded, the movement obviously causing her pain but not unbearably so, and then the room descended into its hushed state before John Masters had started to speak.

Rae was napping fitfully and Jesse watched her with a troubled expression on his face. He knew it would be best for her to sleep until morning but he could see she wasn't resting peacefully enough for that. He reached over and picked up her hand and, speaking very quietly, began to stroke it. To his relief and delight after a minute or two she had calmed considerably and, unable to relinquish his grasp on her, he continued to hold her hand long after his ministrations were needed.

ooo

The movie theatre was quite crowded, but as the film had been on general release for over a week the initial frenzy had died down, and those intent on seeing the picture dressed as their favourite character had also disappeared. Daniel and Maddie, glad that they had waited for a normal showing, had made themselves comfortable four rows from the back of the first floor seats, popcorn and chilli dogs set down on the empty chair next to them, while Daniel sat adjacent to the aisle.

Having already seen the movie, watching it the second day it had been out and enjoying it enormously, he knew the scene he was waiting for was just beginning and, looking around to make sure that he wasn't being watched, Wayne raised his gun and took aim.


	30. Chapter 30

30 **Make the World go Away**

The decision to keep Steve overnight in the hospital had, amazingly, been made by him. Looking up at his dad through haunted eyes he had spoken quietly.

"Could … could I just stay here?"

Although surprised, his father managed to keep that out of his voice and replied calmly. "Sure, Son, if that's what you want, I'll get you admitted right away." Mark gazed first at his only surviving child and then at his daughter-in-law and saw his own concern reflected in her dark eyes.

"A suite, Mark, just book him into a suite, I'll call home, I can stay with him then."

Steve heard the words, understood their meaning, but to reply to any of them was beyond him. He just needed the world to go away for a while, needed to be somewhere neutral, where he could sleep, all he wanted to do was sleep.

Lauren had excused herself while they were talking and Mark heard her cancelling an appointment somewhere else in the hospital. Once she had finished on the phone he replaced her at the desk and ten minutes later they were making their way up to the third floor private wing and one of the luxury suites it contained.

The rooms they were usually assigned were unavailable and Steve was pushed, uncomplaining and silent, without his usual moans about using a chair, further down the hallway and into an even larger suite than he was used to. The sleeping area was an actual bedroom meaning that the patient could rest undisturbed by any activity in the rest of the suite. There was a beautifully decorated living area and a bathroom with a shower. Jo looked around approvingly; she paid handsomely for this privilege, but would happily pay double if it meant that the facilities on offer helped her husband.

Mark had ordered a plain omelette and some bread and butter for his son to eat, which arrived a few minutes after Steve had gotten himself undressed, into a pair of blue pyjamas, and was comfortable in bed.

He wasn't hungry, at least he didn't think he was, but when the food was placed in front of him it was all he could do not to wolf it down. Breakfast had been a hurried affair, lunch too, eaten at his desk at Wilshire. Everything seemed to be hurried or running out of control these days, but now, just for a while, the only thing making him eat quickly was the prospect of the delicious food getting cold.

"Thanks, Dad, that was good." There was no smile, no expression in his eyes or on his face, the words were as much of an effort as he could make and as soon as the tray had been removed he lay back into the deep, comfortable pillows and closed his eyes.

Jo had watched the scene unfold before her feeling totally unable to help, but also not sure what she would have done had she been asked. Now though, as her husband sank back into the bed, almost asleep before he had completed the movement, she came a little closer to kiss him gently on the temple and let him know that she would be leaving the room. As she did so his hand reached up and his eyes opened, there still was no spark, no expression, and she was scared to hear what he had to say until the words reached her ears.

"Stay, please … stay." His eyes were suddenly fearful, and his grasp became tight on her wrist as if he was afraid that she would leave and he would be alone.

"Of course, Honey, I'm not plannin' on goin' anywhere but the other room. Now you close those beautiful blue eyes for me, sleep a while, I'll come back an' check on you in an hour or two, ok?" She smiled, hoping that, although she didn't feel positive, it wouldn't show in her own eyes.

"Thank you … I'm sorry, so sorry." He couldn't say anything else, the effort was too much and, as he released his hold on her, his face finally began to relax, his breathing evened out and almost immediately he was asleep.

ooo

The comfortable atmosphere of the movie house had been shattered by the cry of a man sitting on his own not really watching the film. Some people nearer the front didn't even realise that something equally exciting was happening right there behind them, but those close to the action either stared in fascination or hid behind their seats.

"Daniel! Get down!" He didn't even know if he would be heard above the noise of the film, but his cry seemed to do the trick, the young boy he was paid to protect disappearing from sight as a gun, obviously with a silencer, went off, and it was only then that he realised he could have actually been shot.

The man, whose name was Christian Minardi, aimed his weapon at the man he knew had fired, calling out again as he did so.

"Drop your weapon and put your hands on your head." An ex-cop, he was authoritative and self-assured, moving forward as he spoke, knowing he would kill the man if necessary.

Two security guards rushed in from the direction of the main foyer and he called out for a third time. "Call 911; get the police here, now!" His own ID was in one hand, the other still holding his weapon as straight and still as if both hands were on it.

He'd known it was a risk, that the crowded movie theatre wasn't the ideal place, but it was the first time he'd had a clear shot at the boy all day without giving away his own position, and in the dark, with the noise from the film, he'd hoped he would be able to slip away unnoticed. Wayne realised now though he had nowhere to run. There were too many people around him to try and shoot his way out, that type of action never got you anywhere but death row anyhow. He couldn't see the boy; maybe he had hit his target after all. It would be worth being arrested if the kid was dead. She would never get over that, her or her cop husband, and with the thought warming his heart he did as he was told, raising one hand before using the other to place his weapon on the blue patterned carpet beneath his feet and then kicking it away from him.

The film had been stopped, all the patrons being asked to leave through front exits once they had spoken to a member of the Beverly Hills Police Department. Those who had seen anything were being kept to one side to have a detailed statement taken, while the others left quietly though the doors where members of staff were waiting to give them a free pass to return another day. The police had arrived a little over ten minutes after they had been called, two extremely young looking members of the BHPD and a woman detective who had been on her way home from swimming when she heard the call on her radio.

The only other people in the rear part of the cinema now were Christian, a handcuffed Wayne, Maddie, Daniel and an off duty nurse who had been in the audience. An ambulance had been called, but had still not arrived.

Maddie, her face shocked and her white top covered in blood, sat in the aisle with Daniel's head in her lap gently stroking his hair and speaking quietly to him. His face was almost deathly pale and his shirt too was soaked with blood. There was vomit on the carpet where he had thrown up the meal they had eaten just an hour or so earlier, and mixed in with it was popcorn and chilli dogs which had fallen off the chair as he crashed to the floor. The nurse was holding down what looked like a folded jacket over the wound, taking his pulse with her other hand as she did so.

Christian had explained to Detective Mary Lockier just who he was and why he was armed in a public place. Once she had accepted his explanation of what had happened he'd put a call through to his supervisor, asking them to get in touch with the boy's parents, and also telling them he'd been advised that Community General Hospital was where they would want their son taken for treatment. Then, as he heard one of the uniformed officers reading Wayne McCauley his rights, Christian moved down the walkway to where his client was lying, praying the boy would survive his ordeal.

ooo

Alex and Jesse were both on duty when the call came through of a shooting victim being brought in. Alex had just handed over the final part of treating a young man, injured in a bar brawl, to a nurse when he heard his name being called over the Tannoy and left the trauma suite to find Jesse already waiting at the nurses' station. He was dialling a number on the phone in front of him and so Alex moved away a little, not wanting to eavesdrop. Two minutes later Jesse pressed the buttons where the receiver usually sat and then dialled again, speaking quietly and urgently before replacing the handset and moving over to where Alex sat.

"Alex, it's Daniel coming in."

"Oh, God, Jesse, what happened?" All he had heard had been his name; he hadn't looked for any paperwork or nurse's note, not wanting to be too close to Jesse and his phone call.

"He was shot. I don't know how serious it is, or even if the bullet is still in him, we'll have to wait and see. Jo and Steve are already in the hospital, Steve …" He paused for a moment, patient confidentiality was always a concern, but finally Jesse knew he needed to keep his friend fully informed of a situation he had only just found out about himself.

"Steve's been admitted, he's having a few problems right now. Jo's coming down and Mark is gonna stay with him. He said that unless Daniel is seriously injured, for the moment, no one tells Steve. Once we know how bad it is, then we'll speak with him."

"Sure, that's fine." It wasn't fine, none of it was fine, not the fact that Steve was in the hospital, not the fact that they had to relay bad news to Jo, and definitely not the fact that a sixteen year old boy had just been shot, but Alex had no idea what else to say. At that moment the sound of a gurney was heard and both men turned, fortifying themselves for the sight which would await them.

ooo

The elevator had been full of people, but Jo saw none of them. She stood, just inside the doors, punched in the correct floor number and waited. As the doors closed on the world her husband now inhabited she tried to put his problems to the back of her mind so she could concentrate on this new situation that had been presented to her.

How could her son have been shot? He had been going out for the day with Maddie, a little shopping, they had tickets to a movie and there was the chance that they might meet with some mutual friends if they were free. None of that was dangerous, and Christian had been with him, just as her guard was still with her. She glanced to her left, the man was standing rod straight, looking at the wall, watching the numbers change on the display, his hands relaxed by his sides, but ready, she knew, to protect her in any way he deemed necessary.

Jo had to admit she had got so used to his presence that she didn't even think about him very much any longer. He had stood outside the door to Steve's suite, not intruding on his privacy or hers, but still protecting both of them. His name was Bryan and he was the senior member of her security team. Bryan had responsibility for her safety when she was alone and for both her and Steve when they were together. The guard who had accompanied Steve to the hospital for his appointment had left once she arrived, returning to the house when he knew that Steve wouldn't be going home that night.

The doors opened, but for a second she didn't move. The other people in the car however, had no problems with mobility and surged round her until, unable to stay still any longer, she too walked out into the ER and looked around her fearfully, wishing that Steve was with her, or Mark, Rae, anyone that she could turn and cling to, other than Bryan, as she prayed for her eldest child.

ooo

Jesse had taken charge of Daniel as soon as he arrived, the off duty nurse going into the trauma suite with him to explain what she had done and how he had reacted to his injury. Alex, seeing the vacant stare and the blood covered clothes, had gathered up Maddie and carefully walked her into the room next to Daniel's, talking softly the entire time so as not to scare her any more than she obviously already was.

Maddie sat on the side of the bed in the exam room, and looked up at Alex. "I … I know you."

He smiled at her nodding his head as he did so, "Yes, you do, I'm Daniel's friend, my name's Alex, Alex Martin, I'm a doctor here."

At the mention of her friend's name Maddie's eyes filled with tears. "He … there was … look …" She indicated her top with her hands, pointing to the blood, and was relieved when the young man in front of her nodded again.

"I know, and he's getting the best treatment available, Jesse's with him, and there was a nurse at the movies wasn't there?"

"Yes, they … they even asked if there was a doctor in the house!" She wanted to laugh, could feel it bubbling up inside of her and knew it was another reaction to seeing her friend, her best friend in the whole world, suddenly explode blood and chair stuffing all over her as he fell to the floor. The memory was almost real enough to touch and, although she didn't realise it, Maddie began to shake as Alex moved quickly across, lifting the blanket from the bed and wrapping it around her shoulders.

The nurse who had accompanied the two of them into the room moved a little closer while Alex began to take Maddie's vitals and smiled at the patient herself, they weren't that much apart in age, maybe four or five years, and Maddie seemed to relax a little in her presence.

"Ok, well, you won't be surprised to know that your readings are higher than they should be, but you have been in a stressful situation."

"I … I just want to know how …" Maddie's words were cut off as the room next door began to give off the alarming noise which they all knew meant that the patient was crashing.

ooo

Cheryl had been shown into the small room at Beverly Hills police station where she made herself comfortable and then looked through the two way mirror at Wayne McCaulay and the detective who had come to see her and Martin at Oak Place. It had been a very short interview, and less than fifteen minutes later she watched as the prisoner got to his feet and was escorted from the room by a uniformed officer. She hadn't seen the man before, but was certain, from Martin's description, that this was the guy who had been terrorising the Sloans.

Bert McKinley was soon sitting across the table from her, having spent the last ten minutes with a sullen looking man who had a public defender next to him his present company was far nicer. He had called North Hollywood hoping to speak with Lieutenant Sloan, only to find that he had been promoted to another station. It had been Detective Banks who had told him that and asked if she could come over and listen in to the interrogation for her friend.

Once he had been informed of her arrival he'd planned to start the interview straight away. The prisoner had been charged, photographed and had prints taken. He would be heading for the county jail before the late afternoon was out, and arraigned in the morning. Before the interrogation had even begun however, McCaulay was practically straining at the leash to let out everything he could about what he had done and why.

_"I'll make a full statement; I ain't goin' down for this by myself." __Wayne__ had begun speaking before Bert had even gotten into the room and he'd ignored the comment until he was sitting down._

_"Mr McCaulay, I really would implore you to remain silent." _

_"Counsellor, let the man speak if that's what he wants to do, we have him cold anyhow. Attempted murder, at least it's attempted at the moment." Bert knew that the kid was in a serious condition, or had been the last he'd heard._

_"There is so much more to this it'll make your hair curl. I want immunity from the death penalty an' I'll tell you about a woman who's milkin' one of the major private companies in this country every day, who reckons she can get half the stock for herself, an' who ordered me to kill … if the kid goes. If that isn't enough I can prove that she ain't above pullin' the trigger herself if it suits her purpose."_

_"Counsellor, I think this is in your hands." Bert McKinley looked over to the young man who was already pulling out his cell phone._

_"I'll have the prisoner returned to our first class accommodations, and we'll reconvene tomorrow." With that Bert ended the recording of the session, stood up, shook his pants until they were comfortable and left the room._

Now he looked at the pretty woman sitting opposite him and spoke, "So, Ma'am, what did you make of that?"

She wasn't quite sure what to make of the greeting, let alone the interview she had just witnessed. "It's Cheryl and I'm not certain, but I think we should wait and hear what he has to say tomorrow. And although I'm not involved I would like to be here, so that I can report back to Steve."

"Sure, I don't have a problem with that. I'll call your station; let you know when it's scheduled." Bert stood up and then watched as the woman left the room, enjoying the view until the door closed behind her.

ooo

The activity in the trauma suite had gradually returned to a quite determination and urgency from the regulated but anxious few minutes as they had tried to bring their patient back to them and then stabilize him. It had taken 300 joules to shock Daniel's heart back into rhythm and it had been traumatic for everyone in the room.

"Ok, let's get him to the OR, get me an ICU bed arranged, and I need someone to get a message up to my wife, this is gonna be a long one." Jesse spoke with a calm authority which left no one in any doubt that the bed would be needed. With nods and words of quiet assent the staff finished off what they were doing and Daniel was wheeled out into the main hallway of the ER.

"Oh my God, Daniel!" the words bought the gurney to a standstill just for a moment and Jo moved over to take her son's hand into her own.

"Be strong, my darlin', your daddy an' me will be waitin' for you, we'll see you in a little while." She lifted the hand, thankfully warm in her own, to her lips and kissed it tenderly, before looking up to speak with Jesse.

"Tell me, Jesse, what happened?"

"He took a bullet to the shoulder, from the look of the wound it went through the seat first, there is all sorts of stuff in it. The muscles look pretty mangled too. But it's fixable. The main worry is him going into shock; he's lost a lot of blood."

Jo nodded mutely, trying to take it all in so she could speak with Mark, and then, seeing that the orderly was getting ready to move off, she spoke again. "Take good care of him, Jesse, please." A tear ran down her cheek as she saw her friend nod his head.

"You know I will. Ok, take him to the OR, get him prepped, I'm on my way." The gurney moved off and Jesse, aware of the strain that the woman before him was under, gently put his arm around her.

"I won't lie to you, Jo, it's nasty, but he's stabilized now and I'm confident that we can get him through this in one piece. It'll take a while though, go back to Steve, I'll have someone page Mark when he's in recovery, and he **will** be in recovery, ok?"

She just nodded, grateful for the confidence he was trying to instil in her, and then she caught sight of Maddie through the glass of her exam room and gasped out loud.

"Alex's with her, she wasn't injured, just shocked. Jo, I have to go. I'll see you later."

"An' Rae, I could go see Rae?" She saw him nod as he headed for the same elevator that her son had disappeared into just a moment or two before, and then, as the doors opened and closed around him, she sank back down into the seat behind her, not quite knowing what to do next.

ooo

The phone call had come just as his knife made the first incision into a home made steak and kidney pudding. Looking at it longingly for a second or two as the gravy spilt out over the suet crust, and the steam rose in a beautiful spiral towards the ceiling, Michael picked up the receiver and then listened aghast as he heard his sister's words. Ten minutes later his meal was in the refrigerator and he was climbing into his E-type Jaguar to make the short journey to Community General Hospital to sit with her and join her prayers for her son and his nephew.

ooo

The IV that was pumping a saline solution into his son was only there because he hadn't had anything much to drink and was in danger of becoming dehydrated. Mark had been seriously tempted to add a sedative to it though so that he wouldn't wake before the morning and find that his wife had gone and his eldest son was in surgery.

In the end he had, instead, retired to the living room part of the suite and tried not to think about what would be happening to his grandson.

Jesse was operating; he would trust no one else with such a precious part of his life and he wasn't worried about that, just the consideration that, no matter who was in charge, Daniel could lose his fight.

For a while he began to think about the book he was preparing for his grandson. The information on Daniel's past was beginning to arrive from Cheryl and other friends who had offered to help. He still didn't have a huge amount, but what he did have was going to make a wonderful present. Already he had decided that on the tag he would write '_To Daniel, I hope this present makes a gift of your past,' _and he would sign it_ 'with love always, from Grandpa_.' The possibility that the present and future could be snatched away from the boy made Mark's breath catch in his throat and he had to swallow hard before continuing.

Initially, before he began to collect the information together, Mark had felt saddened that Daniel had nothing to look back over and he had wondered how Steve would have felt in the same situation. For the both of them, him as a father and Steve as his son, family was the most important thing they had, that and close friends who were honorary family members, he could see the faces of Amanda and Jesse in his mind's eye, they were as important to the smooth running of their lives as they were to their own wives and husbands. The loss of both Katherine and Carol had left deep open wounds in his life, Steve had never tried to fill those wounds, but had instead woven his own life into that of his dad's, sharing his leisure as well as work time with him, not because he felt he had to, but because he wanted to, and Mark felt a rush of pride as he acknowledged the strong relationship they shared.

Steve was working towards that type of relationship with his own young son as well. The boy, troubled and on a downward spiral when he had first arrived to live with Jo and Steve, loved him unconditionally, and had spent many, many hours with his dad as they gradually got to know each other and then began to love each other in a way that many natural sons and fathers didn't. Again the thought that it could all be snatched away flooded his mind, causing him to stop thinking, he had to be optimistic, had to remain focussed on the positive, because in the end it would be fine, it had to be fine.

Gradually, as he sat there the afternoon moved into the evening, Mark could see the summer sun moving across the sky and he went to get himself yet another drink of water. Realising as he did so that he had never felt so helpless and alone.

ooo

Rae had woken up just after nine in the evening and been surprised to find herself in the company of an old friend.

She smiled and watched him for a moment, as he sat, unaware of the fact that she was awake.

"Hi." The one word brought him out of his daydream and he turned to her.

"Hi. Leonid do for hubsand." The smile was welcoming but then it disappeared as anxiety replaced it. "Rae Yeager not mind? He very busy."

"No …" she thought for a moment, getting Leonid to write the letters might not be a good idea, she didn't even know if he could read English. "Where Jesse?" Rae hoped that would be enough of a question to get the answer she needed.

In reply Leonid put his hand into his pants pocket and took out a crumpled piece of paper. It had been neatly folded into four, but then, as he sat at her bedside, had been creased and bent out of shape. "For you."

Smiling in reply Rae took the paper but was unable to unfold it herself and the limitations of her injuries once again made themselves abundantly clear. She held it out and, as it slipped through her fingers, the Russian man took it back.

"Leonid do for you, da?"

For a moment Rae was confused, she didn't know what 'da' meant. Why didn't she know what it meant? She tried to remember, he wasn't English, she knew that, so it wasn't English either. That made her feel better and so she nodded.

"You read?"

Again she nodded, and then, concentrating said "Ess," knowing that there should be another sound but unable to make it.

The paper was unfolded, and suddenly an image of a squirrel and a little girl came up in her mind, mixed with a snowy day in New York, but she didn't understand either picture and so pushed them away, hoping she would remember to come back to them again later.

"Here." The paper was held in front of her now and, recognizing the writing as Alex's, she began to read.

_Rae,_

_Jesse is in the OR and I have rounds, Leonid was just finishing his shift and offered to sit with you. You did very well today and we were all proud of you._

_Sleep well_

_Alex_

She looked away to indicate that she was finished and then began to listen as Leonid spoke again.

"Leonid very sorry Rae Yeager hurt again. Dangerous job for lady. Leonid see man who push you."

Rae looked startled for a moment, the knowledge of how she had been injured was still new to her and it wasn't something that she could dwell on for too long. Her mind was already throwing up flashback pictures, not only of what had happened but other things from her past as they tried to regain their proper places in her memory but as Leonid spoke the fire escape was there in front of her and she clenched her fists tightly around the covers.

"Leonid sorry, make detective lady cry."

She hadn't realised that there were tears on her face, and she tried to brush them away, as she spoke.

"No, no, iss … iss fine." Her words sounded strange to her, the pronunciation, she knew, wasn't correct, but her companion seemed ok with what she had said. Rae knew she needed to say more and so she pointed to the pad and pencil and hoped between them they could write the message which would tell Leonid that he needed to call Cheryl.

ooo

The young nurse who had been with Alex as he treated Maddie had gone to the nurses' locker room and found a set of scrubs which fitted her. Once changed out of her blood-stained clothing she had spent the rest of the evening in the doctors' lounge with Jo, the man who used to be the butler but was now Daniel's uncle and two guards, one of whom had saved their lives.

She, haltingly, told Jo what had happened, how they had been sitting watching the movie when suddenly they heard Christian call out, but at the same time the seat shuddered and then Daniel had fallen to the floor, crying out in pain and she had immediately dropped down to be beside him. He had shaken and shuddered, the food they had eaten returning as shock and agonizing pain flooded his system. She had held him, spoken to him, not knowing what else to do, and hoping against hope that it wouldn't be the last time she would be able to do either thing.

The news that the gunman had been arrested sent waves of relief through both Jo and Michael, although he had shown nothing of his feelings to those around him. His sister had found his hand and squeezed it tightly as they listened. Once she finished talking Maddie leant against Jo and, as the older woman had placed an arm around her, had fallen asleep, her ordeal finally getting the better of her.

"Thank goodness. At least that worry is over, even if we do have more to concern us now." She told her brother about Steve, and he offered to sit with him as well if it were needed. He had been in a few times to visit with Rae, helping with her speech therapy and telling her all about his butlering school which was now almost ready to open its doors for the first time.

"How many things do we have to deal with at one time? I don't think I can handle all of this."

"Oh, I think you can." Michael had paused, "If you don't mind me saying, you have come a long way since you met the Captain." He waited as he saw Jo smile at the mention of her husband's new rank. "From what you tell me Steve will be home soon. A few weeks away from the station will help him enormously. You know that Doctor Travis will do all that is necessary to treat Daniel. It is difficult but I would suggest you follow Miss Maddie's lead and close your eyes for a short while."

"You mean take me a little nap?"

"I believe, Madam, that was what I said." There was a gleam in his eyes, and Jo knew he was teasing her just a little. The suggestion was a welcome one though, and so, with a small sigh, she did as she was told and shut the world out for a while knowing she would be awoken when she was needed, trusting implicitly in Jesse's promise that Daniel would survive, and Michael assertion that Steve would be fine as well after a few weeks at home.

Michael shifted his position slightly so that his sister could rest against him as Maddie rested against her, and then, revelling in the responsibility, he held her close as she slept.


	31. Chapter 31

31 **Another day Dawns**

The room, when Steve finally opened his eyes, was totally empty except for himself although there were slight noises coming from beyond his door, telling him he wasn't alone. The fact that there was nothing to do, other than just lie there, was so reassuring that the stresses he had experienced as he woke up left him and, for the first time in as long as he could remember, Steve turned slightly and let himself drift back off to sleep.

Mark, from his position on the sofa, could see into the bedroom and watched in silence as his son awoke. He didn't want to disturb him unless he had to, and so, instead, he sat, quietly, but not so quietly that Steve thought he was alone, and waited. After a minute or two he saw, with relief, his patient making himself comfortable once more and then he saw him slip back to sleep without a murmur.

He had contacted the OR and asked for any news to be sent via the nurses' station on the third floor. That way Steve wouldn't be disturbed by the ringing of a phone or the voices that would inevitably be emotional if Jo came up herself to tell him. He had arranged that whoever was on duty at the desk would just wave him out into the hallway and he would hear whatever it was he had to hear out there.

So far he had been waiting for a little over two hours, and expected to learn something within the next few minutes or so, depending on how long his grandson spent in recovery. He loved both his grandchildren very much, and had enjoyed the time he spent with Daniel when Jayden was born, enormously. The boy was of an age where they could have a discussion about most things, serious subjects, such as the medical information he had passed on, or silly things like how many jelly beans actually make a handful.

Daniel had turned himself around far more fully than any of them had ever dreamt. No longer was he the scared, yet compliant, young thug who had robbed a grocery store, now he was a student with A's in some subjects, no less than a B in the others, and a home life which was secure and loving. How could that have all been put on hold by a man with a gun in a movie theatre?

Mark realised he had no idea who had shot at the boy, or why. Could it be he had been the victim of a random shooting? He fervently hoped not, but then realised, in all ways which mattered, how it happened was irrelevant, just the fact it had, and he had been injured, was the only thing that counted right now.

He knew his daughter-in-law would be finding the wait almost impossible too, her family was the most important thing in her life, and all of them were suffering, or had suffered, and his heart went out to her. For a moment Mark remembered the first time he had been introduced to Jo. He'd known though, before the meeting, that his son had found his one true love. There had been a few trial runs, near misses, in the past, not the least of them Ellen who had hurt him so badly, but as soon as they began dating Steve had changed. When she had been taken by animal rights activists he had seen his son suffer again, his vulnerability showing through, but only to him he thought, and maybe Rae.

Again his mind went back as he thought about the English woman now, thankfully, recovering from her awful injuries. It was just as well he worked here and had his own parking slot, but the amount of time he was here visiting he would probably get a personal bay anyway.

Jesse was coming into his thoughts, and a smile played across his lips as he realised how much the young man had grown; he had a family now, two little girls he adored, and a wife who definitely kept him on his toes. At that moment he heard his name being whispered and, with his heart suddenly thumping in his chest knowing it had taken longer than anticipated, he made his way out into the darkened hallway.

ooo

Cheryl lay in bed and watched the faint patterns on the ceiling caused by tree branches blowing in front of the security lights. It wasn't late, only nine o'clock, but she had been so weary, so in need of total relaxation, that a long soak in the bath and an early night had been too tempting to pass up.

Martin was still in the living room, a programme on the history channel had caught his attention and he was happy to stay up alone. Luxuriating in having the entire bed to herself Cheryl lay, corner to corner, gradually feeling her tight muscles begin to loosen as she tried to switch her brain off.

She had known that her workload would increase when Steve left, she was now the senior detective, but with Rae out as well she was handling far more cases and responsibilities than ever. Not that she wasn't enjoying it, she was, but it just took it out of her sometimes and today was obviously one of those days.

She was worried about Steve, he hadn't been at Wilshire when she called, and then Juan had told her he wouldn't be available until the next day at the earliest. That had been before Daniel had been shot, so she knew her friend, who had been looking careworn the last time she had seen him, would now have more on his plate. Even he was going to be overwhelmed before long if things didn't level themselves out a little.

Cheryl also knew that Captain Newman had done her a favour by letting her go see Daniel's would-be killer, and she had worked doubly hard to thank him on her return. Tomorrow, hopefully, she would be able to attend again, although it would maybe take a little longer than one day to get a plea bargain worked out with the DA. McCaulay had seemed so insistent, eager, even, to spill the beans on his partner-in-crime, compatriot, whatever you wanted to call him or her. She guessed the old adage of there being no honour among thieves was true after all.

She had also gotten a call from one of Rae's friends, Russian, she thought, from the accent, who told her he'd seen the man who pushed the Englishwoman off of the fire escape. He was going to speak to her the following day, with Rae present, in the hospital. Each new lead turned up on Nicholas, which she had decided to call him as it was his legal name, just tightened their case against him. He was guilty, even he had admitted as much, now she wanted to make sure he was punished for his crimes as, she knew, did Steve and Rae. They all felt it was the least they could do for his victims.

Resolutely she pushed all thoughts of cases, criminals, even friends, out of her mind and snuggled a little further under the covers. Her eyes slowly closed as she finally let her mind relax along with her body and drifted off into a deep sleep.

ooo

Nicholas sat on the side of his bunk, the photo in one hand and the letter in the other. There had been letters before, photos too, but from people he didn't know and, he had to admit, didn't want to know. In his rational moments Nicholas knew what he'd done had been wrong, appallingly wrong, but those writing to him had enthused about his crimes, rejoiced in what he did, and that scared him. There was a prison visitor who had beautiful blonde hair. When he saw her the letters didn't disgust him any longer, instead they spurred him on to get closer to her, to interact with her, and Nicholas knew if he got the chance then he would have her.

The correspondence and photograph he held now though weren't anything like those other letters, and he had dismissed Dominic and Matthew, the latter in a little kinder manner than usual, so he could reminisce. He hadn't thought about Melissa in the longest time, not until he mentioned her to the cop and the fed. She had always protected him, even though they had been so close in age, looked after him in school, helped him with his homework, but in the end it hadn't been enough.

Thinking about Melissa drew his mind towards a person he very rarely, if ever, thought about, his mother. Not his birth mom, he had never known her, although he would have loved to. No, this lady was his final foster mom, she had been so beautiful, her hair, blonde, thick and long, or at least it had been until the chemo caused it to drop out.

He knew he was wrong to do what he did, but he had been unable to stay. Matthew had cried inside of him, needing the only real mother he had ever known, but he was the stronger, and finally, after over a week of wrestling with himself, he had left. He'd seen the obituary in the papers, and the details of the funeral had been there for him to write down and then attend, but he hadn't done that either. He had started running and, until the moment he had been caught, had never stopped. Not long enough to contemplate contacting his family again at any rate, and now, amazingly, his family had contacted him.

The letter from Melissa was, he hoped, the first of many, but a long time had passed since they had last been together, and it could well be she wouldn't be able to face him and what he had become in the time they had spent apart. The communication was a little stilted, the words didn't flow awfully well, but that was, he guessed, to be expected. What did you say to someone who had admitted killing fourteen named victims with more to follow? He knew now what she had written, had studied it enough times that it echoed in his head, but still he opened the paper up and read it one more time.

_Dear Nicholas,_

_I can't believe that after all this time I finally have the chance to make contact with you. I can't believe that it is in this way either, but for now I will try and put that out of my mind and concentrate on the fact that I have found my brother again._

_Mom missed you so much after you left; she felt so guilty and knew that it was her fault that you were gone. She never forgot you though, your picture was on her nightstand, 'one of her special boys' she said._

_Nicky, I can't understand how you can be the person they say you are. You were always so quiet, so happy with your own company, how did it turn into such a nightmare? I can see you now, standing behind mom's stool as she looked in the mirror of her dressing table, in her bedroom, brushing her hair for her, practising braiding it and sometimes even curling it. She used to love to let you do that._

_I am married now, have been for the longest time, almost twenty years. I have two boys, they look like their dad. He's a ski instructor, he must be good, he taught me! I talked to him, asked him what I should do, and he says that if you would like I could come see you._

_Nicky, I don't know if I want to or not, but if you would like a visitor one day let me know and I will try really hard to make it happen. I haven't been back since I was married, but one of my sons wants to go to college there, so I guess I will be visiting quite a bit when that happens._

_I gave a picture to the lady detective; I sure hope she passed it on. I still have Issa, she is sitting on my bed as I write this, I got her out of her special box in the closet to look at her, she definitely was well loved!_

_I have to go, but please, if you would like me to write again, send me a note yourself and I will keep in touch._

_Take care, Nicky,_

_Melissa_

Carefully he folded the paper back into the shape it had been in the envelope and slid it into its wrapper. Then, with one more look at the photo of himself with his sister all those years before, he put that away as well, made himself comfortable on the bed and enjoyed the luxury of reminiscing.

ooo

Jesse, although no one knew it, had stood just out of sight for a few minutes before entering the room. All of their lives seemed to be jumping from one traumatic occurrence to another right now, and he was concerned about how everyone would cope.

He was delighted to see Michael sitting with Jo and Maddie, who had obviously been crying, his steady presence would help all of them no end as they worked their way through the difficult situation they found themselves in. Steve especially, his family was and always had been vitally important to him, to have one of them gunned down, well, he wasn't sure how his friend would deal with it.

Taking a deep breath in and schooling his features he carefully tapped on the door as he entered and saw fear fill the faces of the people who had been waiting for him.

Jo had been awake a little over ten minutes when Jesse came into the doctors' lounge, a grim, tired look on his face.

She had been too scared to move, too frightened to vocalize her greatest fears and so, grasping Michael's hand tightly within her own, she waited.

Pulling a chair out from one of the tables Jesse sat down and then took Jo's hand into his own.

"He's in recovery. He struggled in surgery, which is why it took a little longer than I expected." Jesse paused as he saw Jo take a breath in ready to speak.

"How … how do you mean he struggled, Jesse?" The tears welled up in her eyes and she let them fall, not even trying to wipe them away but managing a watery smile as Michael handed her a beautifully pressed white cotton handkerchief.

"He lost a lot of blood, you knew that. The nurse at the movie theatre helped though, he would have been far worse off without her. I repaired as much of the muscle damage as I could, but he was getting weak and I can always go in again if I need to."

"Ok."

Jesse could tell that she was answering almost for answering's sake and so he carried on talking.

"He'll be in ICU; I have him on a ventilator because he wasn't able to breathe on his own. I'm hoping that sometime tomorrow we can remove it, but I would rather keep him on it a little longer and allow his strength to increase than take him off it too early and do more damage." Jesse checked his watch for the time. He had changed before coming to the doctors' lounge, knowing the sight of him in his blood covered scrubs would have done more harm than the extra ten minutes or so it had take him to shower and put on clean clothes.

"A nurse will come find you when he's in his room. The same anaesthesiologist who treated Rae is gonna be in charge of his case. He's a good guy."

"No, Jesse, I want it to be you." Jo stood now, moving closer to Jesse, almost as if to implore him if necessary.

"Honey, I'm the doctor assigned to his care, but in the ICU it is the anaesthesiologist who's in charge. His name is Japhur Singh, he was in charge of Rae's care until she moved into her present room, that doesn't mean that I can't work with Daniel and Alex can't work with Rae."

"Well, ok, if you're sure." As she spoke a pager beeped and Jesse looked down, before smiling.

"Daniel's in his room, so I guess that means we can go along and see him."

ooo

Mark drained the remains of his coffee and let out a worried sigh which seemed to echo around his grandson's room. The scene he had taken part in and witnessed was something he would rather not have happen again. His son had woken up refreshed from his second period of sleep the previous evening and, as he had known he would, wanted to know where his wife was.

The sudden insecurity that Steve had shown was a reminder, as if he needed one, of how vulnerable his normally stoic son was right now, and he and Jesse had tried, not altogether successfully, to calm him down.

_"Steve, Buddy, you need to lie back, let me take your vitals, if you get worked up then we may well have to put your name down for breakfast." Jesse was keeping his voice light, and Mark appreciated his tact._

_"If I'm not expected to stay then why am I here, when my wife is off God knows where?" The voice, although still flat, was scared and angry as well._

_"You are here because you asked to stay." Mark tried to keep his voice regulated as well, not wanting his son to know yet why the both of them were there just to take his vital signs._

_"Oh. Well, yeah, but tomorrow I'm going home … after breakfast." Steve wore an expression that dared either of them to contradict him, it was so familiar and yet at the same time slightly different from usual._

_"Steve, we need to talk and you need to calm down and just listen, ok, Son?"__ The fear flared instantly and Mark had wished that they could save him the heartache he was about to feel._

_"What? What is it? Jo's not here, is it her? My, God, is it Jayden? Dad!" The words had come out in a steady stream, getting more emotional as he spoke until the final plea had almost broken his heart, even before Steve knew the half of it._

_Sitting down in the chair next to the bed Mark made sure that Steve kept eye contact with him and then, slowly, not even wanting to start, Mark spoke again._

_"No, Son, it's Daniel. We'll take you to him, but you have to listen first." The movement in the bed told him that his son was about to take flight. "I spoke to his guard …" Mark paused, there was no easy way around this, he knew he had to just spit it out and face the consequences. "Steve, __Wayne__ must have followed Daniel and Maddie to the movies. He … he shot him … no, wait," the bedclothes were becoming loose as Steve tried to fight his way out of his suddenly restrictive cocoon. "Steve, he shot him in the shoulder, but Jesse operated, and it went well."_

_"Jess?"__ Steve was still straining at the leash, but he looked at his friend, the despair mixing with tears that had suddenly appeared in his eyes._

_"He was shot in the left shoulder, through the back of the seat, he had a lot of material and other stuff in there, but it's all gone now. I had him put on a ventilator, no, wait, this isn't easy for the two of us either you know." Jesse had paused as once again his friend began to struggle, but to Mark's relief Steve had just nodded his head and reluctantly lain still._

_"He's on the ventilator because he lost a lot of blood, it was making him weak and his breathing was being compromised. He's having a transfusion overnight, and I don't see any reason why he won't be taken off the machine as soon as he wakes up properly, probably tomorrow afternoon. Jo has been with him since he left recovery, there's a guard on the door, and he will be ok, you need to believe that, Buddy, he really will be ok."_

_Steve had just nodded his head and they had seen all the color drain from his face as he slumped back into the bed. One good sleep was never going to solve his problems, but it would have been a start, now even the results of that had been denied him._

Mark looked at the worried face of his daughter-in-law, before resting his gaze on the sleeping form of his grandson and sighed loudly. The guard on the door, Christian this morning, turned before speaking. "Are you alright, Doctor Sloan?"

"What? Oh, yes, I guess you would say as well as can be expected under the circumstances." Daniel had begun the long climb to consciousness roughly an hour earlier; the pain crossing his features once or twice during that period as he struggled to change position showing he had slipped into natural sleep. From watching his grandson when he was staying at the beach house, Mark knew, out of choice, the boy slept on the shoulder he had injured. He had a feeling it would be a while before he would be able to do that again.

This time what would have been a moan without the ventilator tried to escape from Daniel's lips and Mark immediately moved closer, pressing the buzzer and hearing Jo speak softly. She had spent the evening with Steve in this very room after sending both Michael and Maddie home, promising to let them know when he awoke. The worried parents had stayed with Daniel although Steve had become a little animated and upset when he had seen his son. Once he had settled back down he had insisted he was ok and they could be left alone.

It was the need Mark had inside of him to show his son that he agreed with him when he said he would be fine which had resulted in him letting them convince him to get some rest in the doctors' sleep room. He had awoken in the early hours of the morning and returned to Daniel, Jo then agreeing to go back to their private suite with Steve each insisting the other get some rest. She had, reluctantly, he had to admit, given her seat over to her father-in-law knowing he would insist they went also. That had been a little after three in the morning, and they had both slept soundly until just before Jo made her way back to her son after six hours and, with hindsight, Mark was glad not only that the night had proceeded in the way it had, but also that he and Jesse had been the ones to tell Steve about Daniel. It was an unpleasant duty which Jo had needed to avoid and Mark planned to be the one to tell his grandson about Steve too. As they had eaten their breakfast Jo told Mark all about Wayne McCaulay, filling him in on any of the details he hadn't known. Now, as Daniel started his long climb, Jo was keeping the promise she made to her husband, standing up to return to his room and bring him back to the bedside of their eldest child.

Jesse was in the room by the time Jo and Steve arrived, apologising for taking so long. Steve, she said, had finally agreed to wait in the hallway because even he could see the difficulties resulting from them all being in such a confined space while Daniel was being treated. He had started to walk to Daniel's room, but had felt so lethargic that in the end he had agreed with his wife that a journey in a wheelchair was a good idea, just this once. He had stepped out of it when they arrived, and was now sitting on an ordinary seat looking so lost that Jo was torn between staying with her son and waiting with her husband.

"Well, I guess as I'm here I'd better treat this young man!" Jesse smiled, the smile reached to his eyes and both Mark and Jo felt their worries ease just a little.

"His vital signs are excellent, well, excellent for someone who has been through what he has in the last twenty-four hours. He's waking up properly now, and is gonna need his momma. Once he is fully conscious then I'll run some tests and determine where we go from here." Jesse stopped talking and moved back a step so that Jo could sit right next to Daniel and let him know that he wasn't alone. Gradually, as she stroked her fingers over the back of his right hand his eyelids fluttered, as they had already done at least three or four times, but this time it was different, this time they opened fully, and this time they stayed that way.

ooo

Cheryl had met Leonid in the main reception area of the ER where he worked and then together they had made their way to Rae's room. As they arrived they realised that Jesse and Rae were talking and that their friend was crying. Not wanting to intrude both sat a little further down the hallway and waited. Cheryl had been told about Steve when she arrived at the station and knew the next few weeks would continue to be tough for the Sloans.

"Honey, I didn't mean to upset you; I knew you would want to know about Steve and Daniel. They both are gonna be fine, it'll just take a little time, but then you know all about that don't you?" He smiled, hoping to get a similar response from his wife, but instead only got a small nod. Jesse had left Daniel's room as Japhur took over the treatment and commentary on what was happening. Any tests he wanted could be done later, and so he had allowed himself to spend the time he'd planned to be with Daniel with his wife instead.

"Iss not …" Rae paused, trying to think of the word, wanting to speak all the more now that she had so many things to say, but gave up in the end and, pointing to the letters on her pad, spelt out the word f a i r.

"No it's not, but life isn't fair." Jesse leant over and gently wiped away her tears before kissing her tenderly on the lips. Reluctantly he stepped back before speaking again. "Honey, I have to go, I'm supposed to be on duty in the ER, and I didn't get much sleep last night what with one thing and another. I'll come back and see you at the end of my shift, about two, if that's ok."

"No, Jesse, seep." She smiled, three words, all of them almost pronounced correctly, and then she looked into her husband's eyes, the blue of them sparkling and for some reason making her want to cry again.

"Well, that sure would be nice, but I could come sleep in the chair here, how about that?"

For a moment she did consider it, but knew for Jesse to get a proper rest that wouldn't do. "No, Rae, seep, Jesse, seep, we …" again she paused, six words now, she was counting each sentence, wanting to show her speech therapist how well she was doing, "we haf din … ner to … tog …" she gave up and smiled, "juss us."

"That sounds lovely. Ok, I gotta go, but I think you have visitors." As she heard his news Rae smiled broadly, she knew who was coming, and although it was official, and she was a little scared about what she would hear, it would be nice to spend time with her friends.

ooo

Steve had sat in the hallway and tried to evaluate how he felt. Part of him wanting to escape back to his room and shut out what had happened his son. Now, looking at the contorted face of his eldest boy through the glass Steve knew the part of him that was strongest was only trying to protect himself from any more stressful situations, but his son … his family … he had to fight … had to do all that was expected of him and then … maybe he could escape back to his own suite.

Jesse had left after taking all the readings he needed and introducing Doctor Singh. For the last ten minutes the tall young man had explained to Jo and his dad just what had happened, and how he saw things going from now on. Finally, just a minute or so ago the ventilator had been removed and Daniel was now trying to control the coughing which must be causing him great pain. As Steve watched the scene before him Japhur came out of the room and walked towards the row of chairs he was sitting on, standing so that he could both see the man he wanted to talk to as well as his patient the other side of the glass.

"Captain Sloan? I am Doctor Singh, I have explained to your wife and your father that Daniel's vital signs were strong enough to remove the artificial ventilation. He is going to feel very sore, not just his shoulder but his throat as well for a while, but I think he will feel more at peace if he doesn't have to be on that machine."

Steve nodded his head, he could understand totally. Waking up on a ventilator was an awful sensation; one he would have fervently wished his son never to experience. That hadn't happened, but at least it had only been for a short time.

"Your father said he was going to speak to Daniel a little about why you aren't looking quite yourself and then he would leave and you could go in."

"Thank you. Thank you very much." He knew there should be things he needed to ask, things that would have to be explained to all of them, but right now his brain couldn't process anything remotely like a question and so he just shook the doctor by the hand and returned his gaze to watch the people in the room before him.

ooo

Rae had, with a little bit of help from one of her nurses, made herself comfortable sitting up in the bed. Her legs, still stabilized either internally or externally with nuts and bolts, were covered by the sheets, and she knew they were something that would need to be addressed before too long. For now though she pushed the worries about them away and straightened out the tablet of paper in front of her which had her letters set out on the pages and waited for Cheryl to speak.

"Ok, Leonid, you said yesterday you saw the man who pushed Rae off of the fire escape. Do you mean you saw him do it?" Cheryl didn't fail to notice Rae clench her fists as the fire escape was mentioned, and knew if that was the case then the next half hour or so would be very difficult for her.

"Net," Leonid thought for a moment, his English was much better than it had ever been, he had only used the Russian word because he was nervous.

"No, Leonid see that on TV in new home. Leonid see man after … after he call police but not know he …" he paused again, there were a lot of words for what he wanted to say, he knew the Russian, and so he tried that "ubijtsa."

Cheryl looked up from her notes and saw the young man in front of her obviously searching his mind, probably for the English word for the Russian he had just spoken.

"If … a man … he kills … he is a … he is ubijtsa, a what?" His hands, palms upwards showed his confusion and he smiled slightly. "Leonid sorry, he not know this word."

"Killer?" Cheryl saw him shake his head, "Ok, he kills, he is a … murderer? Yes, a murderer?"

"Da, da, he is murderer. Thank you."

Gradually, slowly, over the next thirty minutes or so, as Rae listened in silence, Leonid explained how he had called 911 and then with his dog, Bounce, had waited for the police to come. The embankments of the freeway were often inhabited by people searching for things either dropped by accident from cars, or by those who were simply scavenging. He hadn't known the words to ask the man to leave, but he had watched him closely and seen some hair drop from his hand before he looked down at the body, almost smiling, and then left.

"Leonid, very sorry, he not know how to keep man talk to police. I … I scared, and when Rae Yeager come, she take, she take Leonid away … I forget."

Rae pointed to the paper in front of her and Cheryl began to put the letters into words. Finally the message in front of her, which was long when you had to write it this way, said 'we can tie him to the scene, I wonder why he returned the hair.'

"I don't know, but hopefully I can find out. Leonid, will you identify him in a line up? Or give evidence in court if it is necessary?" Cheryl had a guilty plea right now, but she wasn't complacent, knowing that the chance of Nicholas changing that to not guilty was still possible.

The uncertainty was there again, showing the inbred fear of a regime that had indiscriminately jailed those who said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

"Rae … go … she be there." The words, softly spoken did the trick and Leonid smiled.

"Then, da, Leonid go with friend. We both be ok."

For the next twenty minutes or so Cheryl went over the statement Rae had taken from the Russian on the day that Harriet Brown's body had been discovered. He was still certain of his facts and, although his command of English was a little basic, she knew that he would make a good witness.

As she made a slight alteration to something that she had written Cheryl felt the hand of her companion touch her arm and looked up. Following his gaze she saw that Rae had relaxed back into her pillows and was now sleeping soundly. Smiling at each other the two of them stood quietly and left the room, both promising themselves that they would return to visit socially very soon.

ooo

Daniel had listened to his grandfather, although his eyes had been drawn to his father sitting out in the hallway and, even as ill as he himself felt, he realised he had never seen the strong man he admired so much look so vulnerable.

Finally, when there seemed to be no more explanation to come, he had spoken, just the one word, "Dad."

"I'll go get him, Honey, yellin' in a hospital isn't a good thin'." Although still upset, worried and definitely not relaxed Jo was feeling a little better than she had just an hour before and so was able to speak lightly to her son. She had things she needed to do, and so, hoping Steve would be alright for just a few minutes she told her son what she planned to do next. "Once your daddy is settled in here I'll go an' call home, find out how Jayden is this mornin', an' ask Juan to call David an' tell him what is happenin'. Is that ok, Honey?"

He nodded and then, his eyes never leaving her as she walked out to where his dad was sitting, he saw his mom take his father's hand into her own and squeeze it gently. They walked back in together and he felt the tears start. "I'm … Dad, I'm sorry … I didn't mean to."

"Now, that's enough of that, I understand, so does your mom, and he's caught." His voice was gruff with emotion, and the words came out a little more forcibly than he'd planned, so Steve tried a smile although it was the last thing he felt like doing. Daniel just nodded and moved his hand to touch his dad's. As he did so a thought suddenly struck Steve, one which cheered him considerably. "Hey, you know what?"

"What?" The voice was so full of tears that Steve felt himself teetering on the edge of them but he swallowed hard before speaking again.

"You and I, Jayden as well, we can all recuperate at home with your mom. The four of us together, I think I'll like that."

The smile from his son was instant and sincere, and after that they sat in silence both enjoying the other's company knowing they would get to share it for a long, long time to come.


	32. Chapter 32

32 **Time Flies …**

The Red Rose case had disappeared from the front pages of the Los Angeles newspapers; the magazines no longer ran articles on how to escape a serial or signature killer. Instead there were the annual serious and frivolous features aimed at new college students and graduates and how they could survive in their latest reincarnation as freshman or business person.

The revelation that the wife of one of the richest men in Texas had been arrested on suspicion of fraud, identity theft and murder had first appeared in the financial press, but was soon splashed across the front pages of every mainstream newspaper in the country and, once the link was made between Debbie Walters and Jo Sloan, then the shooting of Daniel Sloan was suddenly of interest again, and the life and times of the Walters family was a very hot topic. Jo had instructed Gilbert to issue a no comment to every article or quote that was requested and had told Juan to direct everything to her lawyer. So far, apart from the reporters on the sidewalk and an increase in the number of begging letters received, she had managed to keep the ruckus away from her convalescing family.

Steve had stayed in the hospital for a week, speaking with Lauren, visiting with his son and trying to face up to the realities of his limitations. When Jo had arrived one morning with a very pretty young woman as well as their youngest son for company he had been confused and not at all gracious.

_"Good mornin', Honey, how are you doin' today?" It had been a little after eleven and Steve had begun to wonder whether or not his wife was going to visit with him at all._

_"Ok, I guess." Now, with hindsight, he knew that he had been abrupt, verging on rude, most of the time as he spoke with friends and family but, feeling the way he had, it had been an effort to even make conversation._

_"This is Lorraine Mitra, she's here to help you lose your kinks an' stiffness." He must have looked totally astonished because Jo had laughed aloud, and the woman next to her had joined in for a moment before taking pity on him._

_"Captain Sloan, I'm a masseuse and yoga instructor. I'm going to try and teach you some relaxation exercises as well as give you a massage every other day for a couple of weeks."_

_"Oh." He hadn't been able to think of anything else to say at the time; in fact he wasn't sure he would have been able to say anything more whenever she had told him._

_"I am off for my mornin' visit with Daniel, he is goin' to physical therapy in an hour so I want to see him before that. You can go after his siesta can't you?"_

_He had just nodded and then found himself alone with a virtual stranger who was about to pummel his muscles._

That had been almost a month ago, and he was feeling so much better now than he had been then. Just the previous day he had gone into his office, groaned at all the paperwork on the desk, but enjoyed being back in charge again. Jesse had told him that there was no way he could go right back to the pace he had set himself before, and so he was starting slowly, one day, quite literally, at a time.

Daniel had arrived home from the hospital after a stay of ten days. He was still in quite a considerable amount of pain, but Lorraine had helped him as well, massaging the muscles which hadn't been damaged but had been affected by the immobility his injury had caused.

As Steve had promised his son in the hospital they had recuperated together. At first neither of them had the interest or inclination to do anything very much except sit and enjoy being together. Lorraine had come to the house most days and he had got used to the fact that apart from his wife, his dad and his best friend, she had probably seen more of him than anyone else.

The massage table that she brought with her was set up in the gym and he would have an hour's yoga class before taking a quick shower and then, with a small towel wrapped around him to cover his dignity would walk towards the centre of the room before making himself comfortable for what had rapidly become one of his favourite times of the day.

To begin with Daniel had come into the gym with his dad so as to be able to stay close, but after a couple of days he had asked Lorraine if he could also try the relaxation exercises and have a massage, just on his upper back and, ever wary of his still healing shoulder, she had helped him a great deal.

Lorraine had also taught Jo and Steve how to massage Jayden and he had begun to sleep more peacefully and seemed to be far happier during the day. The young woman, who initially had been such a concern to him, had become an essential part of their lives, and by the time his two weeks of treatments were over Steve had, to his surprise, arranged twice weekly sessions for not only himself but Daniel and Jo as well.

ooo

Cheryl was thinking of getting a new desk; maybe one that had two storeys. That way she might just be able to have a little clear patch to do her work on.

The Red Rose Killer case was, for the most part, filed away. The interviews with Nicholas were over, he was now waiting for his day in court, which, if she were lucky, would happen before she retired.

Wayne McCaulay had pulled a rabbit out of his hat in more ways than one. Debbie Walters was in jail in Austin, Texas, but, once the formalities were completed, would be extradited to California to face a charge of first-degree murder in the killing of Marmaduke Fox.

With the benefit of hindsight Cheryl realised that it should have been obvious, to her at least, that anyone who was linked in any way to the Sloans was likely to end up in trouble sooner or later. She should also have realised, she guessed, that with just a little work and diligence joining all the instances together would be a snap.

Marmaduke Fox was Jo's accountant, or at least he had been until someone had blown his brains all over his car windshield in his company parking lot. Although the man had had quite a few well known as well as disreputable clients none of them, apart, it had to be said, from Jo, appeared to have a reason to kill him and very quickly the case had been forced, by pressure of work, to the bottom of the pile.

When Wayne McCaulay had finally been granted limited immunity he, as the saying went, 'sung like a bird'. An assistant D.A., called Georgina Steinberg had taken over his case and, by the time he finished his singing, there was a warrant out for a woman that Cheryl knew Jo disliked intensely.

She herself had no feelings on the matter, having met her only at weddings and Jo's bachelorette party when she just noticed a woman who maybe liked to drink a little more than she should and who was slightly ingratiating. After her visit to see her in jail in Texas though Cheryl's feelings were slightly stronger. She had wanted to force the woman through the air conditioning duct. Debbie's statement, or diatribe, with a lawyer present, but seemingly unable to stop the tirade that was Mrs Walters, had consisted almost totally of an attack against her husband, sister-in-law, Daniel and also Steve, who, Cheryl knew, had been nothing but pleasant to her in all the time he had known her.

Debbie had still been insistently informing anyone who would listen that the Walters' millions were rightfully hers, that she had proof, not with her, but proof nonetheless, that would be produced at her trial. What she didn't know and Cheryl had no intention of informing her was, thanks to Daniel Sloan, which she knew would irritate the prisoner no end, that knowledge was already available to the police, and more importantly to Jo, who also had enough information of her own to counteract any claims made.

More by luck than judgement Cheryl had actually been at Steve's house when the discovery was made. She had visited her friend as often as possible as he recovered from his, what could only be described as mini-breakdown. On this visit he had been relaxed, sitting out in the back yard, watching the gardener mow beautifully straight lines back and forth across the grass.

_"Hi." She had sat down in the chair across from her ex-partner and smiled._

_"Hi, yourself, lemonade? It's homemade." He had paused for a moment to pour her a glass before speaking again. "You know I never realised just how therapeutic watching the grass being cut was. But somehow I feel far more relaxed now than I did just ten minutes ago."_

_"Well, I guess you never had a chance at the beach to even know what a lawnmower looked like, and it beats watching paint dry."_

_The smile she got in return for her comments was, she noticed, far more peaceful than even a week earlier. "You're doing good, aren't you?"_

_"Yeah, I am, and I get to go into the station next week, begin to pace myself back into a working regime that suits me, well as much as being a cop ever suits you."_

_"Oh, I think it suits you just fine, but now you have a wife, children, your own family, a beautiful home, your priorities are changing. It's only natural that you should need to reassess." Cheryl experienced a slight pang, she had Martin, who she loved dearly, but no children, she had a feeling that she would remain childless, but the home and the partner had made her look at things in a different light, and she could see Steve was, finally, allowing himself to do the same._

_The quiet general conversation and the sound of the lawnmower in the background had been therapeutic for her also and, for the next half hour or so, they had talked about nothing in particular, catching up as all friends need to now and then. The lemonade had gradually been drunk and they had just begun discussing the need to go and get some more when a commotion was heard from inside the house, and then the sound of Jo's laughter._

_"Steve! Steve! Hi, Cheryl, I knew you were here, I'm sorry I didn't come an' say hi." Jo's eyes were sparkling, and Cheryl had known instantly that she had important news to impart._

_"That's ok, looks like you were having a fine time and were busy." She could see a pile of papers in her friend's hands, and wondered what they were._

_"Actually, it's a good thing you're here, we've found out just what it is that Debbie thinks she has on us." As Jo said 'we' Cheryl had noticed that Daniel, his left arm in a sling, and still looking pale underneath his dark hair, was standing next to his mom._

_Steve moved the tray with the jug and glasses off the table and onto the ground and carefully Jo had spread out a section of what looked at first glance like copies of old letters._

_"These were sent to one of my ancestors by her friend. Her name was Elle, an' she had a fiancé called Robert. She also had a secret love, an' she got pregnant by him. I know this because everythin' she wrote to her friend, whose name was Victoria, was mentioned in the replies."_

_"And this has what to do with Debbie?" Steve had seen the letters, he knew Rae had too. His friend had read them through a few times, but hadn't, as far as he knew, found anything._

_"It has to do with Debbie because the secret love was called Diego Jardinero, or to be exact, by the time Elle knew him, he called himself James Jardinero or JJ for short." Daniel was sitting down now, but Jo wasn't, she was moving about, excitedly, her voice animated and Cheryl had enjoyed her good news even though she had no idea what it was yet._

_"How's your Spanish?" Jo looked at her husband and saw him shrug._

_"Well, it's a long time since I was in school, and if I ever arrested someone who spoke Spanish instead of English I'd get an interpreter."_

_"Hmmm, thought as much. We had Spanish servants, still do, I guess," Jo smiled again, and Cheryl could see that she was having trouble not grinning inanely, "but they spoke to us in English, an' whatever I learnt with my tutor I've long forgotten. However, we have a Spanish buff in the house, thank goodness."_

_"I have a real good teacher, Miss Beatty is nice, she does cooking sometimes, even hides the ingredients around the school and we have to go find them using clues written in Spanish, and then when we have them all we can cook ourselves a meal. It is just so cool." Daniel had a little more colour now he was sitting down and his enthusiasm levels were rising as well._

_"JJ, was a bit of a cad, a __sinvergüenza__ to use the correct Spanish term," Jo seemed a little sheepish, "I looked it up before I came out. Robert, on the other hand, appears to have been a real gentleman. One of the __Dallas__Winchester__'s accordin' to some papers of my grandmamma's. He was prepared to still marry Elle, but she had to leave town have her baby an' then return. Once that was all done then they would be wed an' presumably live as happily ever after as couples did in those days."_

_"What happened to the baby?" Cheryl was getting an idea of where this was leading, but she had no intention of spoiling it for either Jo or Daniel._

_"Her family disowned her but Victoria found a house to rent in Austin an' Elle went there until the baby was born. Her friend was now married, to James Jardinero no less, an' so they adopted the baby raisin' the boy as their own an' callin' him James Junior."_

_"Dad, Jardinero is the Spanish for gardener. Or, in this case, Gardiner." _

_"And Gardiner was Debbie's maiden name. She thinks she's the heir." Now Steve had gotten it too._

The rest of the day had been spent going through endless packets of papers and journals. In the end it was Steve who found the legal document showing that Elle had paid the Jardinero's a handsome sum for taking on her child, even though James Senior was the natural father, she renounced all entitlement to call the boy her own, and he became, for all time, a Jardinero. There was also a signed letter which stated that neither Victoria nor James would contact the Winchesters regarding their new son, and understood that he was no longer legally or in anyway a responsibility of the woman who would, in modern terms be known as, his birth mother.

The entire set of documents, including the letters had all been copied again and the originals taken by Juan to Gilbert Sholte to be kept safe until they were needed to refute any claim that Debs thought she had.

Cheryl shook her head, letting herself get lost in thought was a pleasant pastime, but it wouldn't help her clear her desk, and so with a deep sigh she began to look through the pile of papers directly in front of her, hoping that at least half of them would be no longer of interest and could be got rid of.

ooo

It was a little after two-thirty in the morning when Alex had a chance to make his way towards the cafeteria to grab a half-decent cup of coffee and a Danish. Taking a slight detour through the Intermediate Care Unit where he had two patients he was pleased to note both of them sleeping soundly. Once he had made himself comfortable at a table by the window, where he could see the lights of the nearby streets and buildings brightly illuminated he thought back to the previous night, when, at almost the same time, he had made a similar journey, but with different results.

As he had passed Rae's door he'd looked in to see, to his surprise, that she was sitting wide awake staring at the wall. As he stood there, unobserved, he noticed a single tear make its way down her cheek before disappearing under her chin to be soaked up by the sheets. He knew that ever since Steve and Daniel had been discharged his patient had felt alone. The fact that two of her friends had been in the same hospital had somehow made her feel less isolated, even though Steve still hadn't been to visit with her. She had however spoken to him on the phone, briefly once or twice, but at least contact had been made.

_"Rae?" He spoke softly, aware of the lateness of the hour, and when she didn't turn to greet him he moved closer to her. "Honey, whatever is it?"_

_"Nothing, I ok." Her words, still clipped and shortened to the bare minimum, were quietly spoken as well, but somehow Alex knew that it was her emotions keeping them that way. She had done very well over the past few weeks. The physiotherapy on her shoulder had worked wonders, and her speech therapist was also extremely pleased with her. Lauren was pretty sure that the change in regime had kept the depression that they had all worried about at bay, and most of the time Rae was regaining her positive attitude to life and coping well with what was happening to her. The only real problem was with her legs, and Alex knew that in two days there would be a meeting between himself, Rae and her orthopaedic surgeon to discuss what to do next._

_Sitting down in the chair beside the bed he gently took her left hand into his own and held it just firmly enough that she knew not to remove it. _

_"You know, for a cop, you're a lousy liar!" Alex realised that his words would get a reaction; he just wasn't sure if it would be a positive or negative one._

_"Yeah, well, good job I retire then." There was still no visible emotion in her voice and Alex appreciated that he hadn't allowed for a neutral answer._

_"Rae, you shouldn't be awake in the middle of the night, I can order you a mild sedative if you like, or you can talk to me and then maybe sleep naturally. You've only just come off all your medication, apart from the antibiotics, I don't think you want to go back on any of it do you?"_

_"No, no, I don't." She closed her eyes for a moment, and Alex could see his patient weighing up the options. Finally, she looked at him, her dark brown eyes full of unshed tears and she spoke. "Do you think I lucky?"_

_"Lucky? In what way?" Alex was confused, he thought that the meeting about her legs would have been at the forefront of her mind, but he was obviously way off track. He wished that the tears he could see would fall, she hadn't cried for herself since the day that Chief Masters told her about her accident and she had dealt with everything since then almost unmoved._

_"People keep tell me I lucky. I … I don't feel lucky. 'Mrs. Travis, you lucky you survive' … 'Mrs. Travis, you lucky you husband doctor' … 'Mrs. Travis, how lucky you arms still work' … 'you lucky you hit that way', 'you lucky you so strong', 'you lucky, lucky, lucky!' I not feel lucky. I have cards, with luck in, I don't want luck and …" she averted her eyes but continued to speak, "and that bad."_

_"No, it isn't bad, it's a natural reaction. The ones who are lucky are us," he saw her confused look and smiled, "we're lucky we still have you here and, even with all that's been done, we can see the old Rae there." Alex paused for a moment to let his words sink in before continuing._

_"Honey, we all love you, and that day … that first awful day …" his voice trailed off, in his mind he could see her, somehow alive when she shouldn't have been, with injuries which could have still killed her. But she and the medical team had fought, long and hard, to get to the point where they now were, and he knew it was only natural that she should be feeling anything but the way they did. "I guess, because we feel so fortunate to still be with you, to be able to make you well enough to go back home to your family, we think you should be feeling exactly the same. I'm sorry."_

_For a moment Rae considered his words once more, and then, running her hand shakily through her hair in a gesture which reminded him so much of what she had lost, she began to speak again. "When I woke up, when I not know what wrong, I wish … I dead. Things bit better since then." She moved her arms, both of them, up and over her head, a new movement which had only recently been accomplished. "I was scared, still scared, but this, this good." She slowly rested her hand back into his and smiled._

_"I know and the scans all show no damage to your Brachial Plexus this time. And I hate to say it, but you were …"_

_"Lucky? No," she shook her head, another movement he knew she was glad she could do, "it just was." _

_"Yes, I guess so." Alex suddenly understood, in those three words she had explained everything to him. She was the way she was because that's how it should be. In her eyes, luck, good or bad, had nothing to do with it._

_He watched as she raised a hand to her face, tracing around where the bones had been broken and then she spoke again. "I couldn't see, could hear, you, Jesse, then … then I would have died. I could feel …" She searched for a word, but in the end shrugged, "nothing, could feel nothing … could see nothing. No point."_

_"We didn't know if things would change, the brain is amazingly complex, it constantly surprises us with what it can do. Jesse understood that, but he had already changed his mi …" Alex stopped, realizing too late that he had spoken thoughts which should never have come out._

_The silence which hung between them was so heavy that for a moment neither of them could move, but finally, the fear evident in her voice, Rae spoke, "Tell me."_

_Alex couldn't make eye contact with her, knowing, without a doubt, that he had let down one of the two men he admired most in the entire world, and also knowing that he could be about to do irreversible damage between a man and his wife._

_"Alex, please, it be ok." She looked at him; her brown eyes still having the affect of making him comply._

_"That first day, after surgery, he'd seen you, in the ER, and then in your room, he came back to the doctors' lounge, and said …" Alex paused, still not wanting to say anything and he felt her remove her hand from his and then gently wrap her fingers around his palm._

_"Go on."_

_Alex nodded, but still he couldn't look at her as he spoke. "He said … that if it was time to … to let you go, then … that was what we would have to do." He couldn't lift his head to see her, the brown eyes, he knew, would be filled with pain, but then, in the silence, he heard her._

_"Thank you."_

In the light of day, just before he had finished his shift Alex had found Jesse and explained to him what had happened. He should have known his ever generous friend wouldn't have blamed him, should have known he had nothing to worry about, but seeing the warm smile, hearing the voice, which lacked even a hint of condemnation, had made him feel whole again, and he knew just how lucky he was to have both of them as his friends.

ooo

Rae carefully put her book down on her nightstand, next to the photos of family and friends, sighed and smiled at the image of her husband's face. In the two days since Alex had told her how Jesse had considered letting her die if her injuries had been enough to warrant it they had talked a lot. They both, she knew, felt better for the discussions and she was also far more relaxed than she had been and was finally sleeping for more than a few hours at a time without her memories invading her dreams.

She hadn't had the opportunity to sit and read for such a long time that she knew there was a chance of her overdosing on literature. So far she had read childrens' books, favourites such as _Winnie the Pooh_ and _The Tales of Toytown_, but her understanding of the written word hadn't been diminished at all and she had moved onto new books, ones she had always wanted to read but never managed before. She had just completed _Frankenstein_ and _The Dairy of a Nobody_. She was currently on page twenty-five of _The Odyssey_ and needed to get Jesse to bring in another notebook so that she could write down the parts she didn't understand. She had a feeling though that even before her accident she would have had to do that.

As she relaxed back into her pillows Rae heard a light tapping on the door and turned with a smile. It amused her that none of her friends ever came in without knocking, but it also made her feel appreciative of their good manners, this was, after all, her home right now, and they wouldn't walk through her front door in Beverly Hills without knocking first and being invited to enter.

"Hi, Texas." Her smile was instant and sincere as she saw her best friend standing just outside in the hallway. "Come in, please."

"Are you sure, you looked as if you were gettin' ready for a sleep."

"No, I just finished reading, I fine."

"Well that's good, because I have a little visitor for you." Jo turned just for a moment and then came into the room with her baby son in her arms.

"Oh!" The one word, almost a sigh, told Jo that she had done the right thing by finally bringing her baby in to see her friend. "Oh, thank you."

For a moment the two women locked eyes, and then carefully, almost reverently, Jo held her arms out for Rae to take Jayden from her.

"Help me; I don't drop him." Her spatial awareness, her grip, still wasn't good, but she so wanted to be able to feel this little bundle in her arms.

"I know, I don't want you to drop him either, but I'm right here, an' you will be fine!" Jo watched, anxiously, but did no more than just keep herself close by in case the unthinkable happened, and then, once Rae was settled with the little boy safely held, she sat down.

"Oh, hi, Baby, you beautiful, yes you are, and big." Rae cooed, her voice taking on the singsong manner that only mothers can really accomplish, and then Jayden, his eyes darker now they had taken on the brown hues of his mom, looked up at her and smiled.

"Oh, he perfect." Carefully she bent her head and placed a kiss on the soft skin of Jayden's forehead, before smiling at him once more.

"You have you momma's eyes," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "not you grandpa's nose, you daddy's mouth an' chin. You han'some man, yes." She paused, talking and holding the baby at the same time had left her a little breathless.

Jayden obviously a happy and contented four month old, made a giggly gurgly noise as he raised his fist towards her and entranced, Rae felt her entire body relax as she enjoyed the special moment and treasured gift that her friend had given her.

"Honey, I have to be takin' Jayden home now, but I will bring him back to see his Aunty Rae again real soon." Jo had been surprised to see that Rae had held her son for over ten minutes, and although it was a beautiful sight, and she had taken quite a few photos, it hadn't been the main reason for her visit.

"Oh." The disappointment in her friend's voice as she spoke the same word as she had when Jayden appeared was so evident that Jo almost changed her mind and decided to stay, but she knew she couldn't and so, gently, she took her son from Rae's arms and moved away from the bed.

"I know it's a short visit, but we didn't come alone, there's someone else who wants to see you." She had raised her voice just a little and Rae turned, wondering if it was Daniel, but saw instead her partner coming towards her.

"Steve? Oh, Steve." Rae couldn't believe that he was there, she knew he had been ill too for almost six weeks and had been unable to visit with her for a number of reasons, but now none of that mattered, and seeing that he seemed rooted to the spot in the doorway she held out her arms to him. "I miss you so much."

He stood, almost lost in amazement at how wonderful she looked, how normal. He had been so stupid not to have pictured her getting better, losing the bruises and bandages. Why hadn't he listened to Jo when she spoke of her visits with Rae? He didn't know if he would have come any earlier, but his pictures of her would have been so much easier to bear. The vision of her broken and battered body slipped away from the front of his mind as suddenly he was next to her and she was holding him in her arms, speaking softly to him and, unable to contain them any longer, he let his tears flow, soaking the shoulder of her nightclothes, as they healed him.

Jo looked on, tears in her own eyes, saw Rae nod, almost imperceptibly, and knew that she could leave. They needed time alone, and with a smile she placed her son back in his stroller, made her way out into the hallway and along towards the elevator.

"Shhh, it alright, it really alright." Her voice, soft but strong, finally began to make an impression on him and he raised his tear stained face to look at her.

"I'm so sorry, Rae, oh, God, I am so very sorry." His apology, heartfelt and desperate almost broke her heart but she forced a small smile onto her face.

"You not need be sorry, not at all." Her voice was firmer now even though her words were broken and short. She knew, without being told, that he blamed himself and that was the reason he had been unable to face her, and now he was here she didn't want to lose him again.

"How can you say that? I was there, so close I could almost touch you, and …" he closed his eyes for a moment, unable to continue.

"I still fell, yes. But if you save me he attack you. Steve, one person blame for my pre … pre … this, and he jailed." She reached a hand up and stroked his soft hair away from his face. "I not blame you for things happen to me."

His face, although now peaceful, with his eyes no longer full of tears, didn't show the belief and acceptance that she wanted to see and so she continued to talk.

"I trust you seven years, I still here, you not let me down. Please, Steve, let go, it …" She paused for a moment, knowing that the words she thought weren't necessarily the ones she spoke and, needing to get it right the first time, made sure she said it correctly. "He killing you too, don't let him. No more victim. I need you, you family, Jesse. Please."

"But …" Still he couldn't do as she said, couldn't let go of what had been eating at him for so long that it was almost scary to think of being without it.

"Steve, I pushed over fire escape I try stop, my grip was … was," she searched again for the right word, "gone by kicking hands. I sick because of hair I hold, I hit ground not, you fault."

"I … I guess so, but …"

"No but, you no blame, not to me, not … not Jesse, Texas … Mark, no one, please."

The words, although so clipped, using only those necessary to get her point across, said pretty much the same things that others already had in the past. She had been the victim though and that somehow made all the difference as he felt a load leave him and, fearing that he might pass out cold, he rested his head on her shoulder, shaking as he did so and saying just one word. "Yes."

"Good." She allowed herself a smile, knowing how much he had suffered, as she realised that he had taken a pace away from his guilt. "Honey, it over, he in jail, he not kill any more, and you, me, we recover, it over." After that Rae couldn't speak either and, holding onto each other, the two of them let their feelings dissipate as they enjoyed being together once again using their different strengths to help each other move towards the future, partners no longer, but friends forever.


	33. Chapter 33

33 **The Hardest Step of All**

It had been seven days since Steve had finally visited with her and Rae had spent the time dreading the consultation with her orthopaedic surgeon which, although postponed once, was due to happen that morning. There had been plenty of things going on to keep her mind off of it, but when she was in her room, and wasn't reading, didn't have visitors or could sleep no longer, then she would find herself returning to the undeniable fact that the treatment on her right leg wasn't working.

It had been a month after her accident before she had begun to really take in all the intricacies of her various injuries and she knew those to her lower back and legs had been the most severe.

Over the weeks the injury to her spine had been found to be far less serious than first thought. Her right hip had been pinned and had healed well, but her legs, or at least her right leg had gotten worse instead of better. The surgeon, Jeffery Somerville, had explained to her that there were certain procedures which could be used in cases like hers where part of the fibula from one leg could be removed and used to replace the disintegrated bone of the tibia in the other limb. However, because she had broken both bones in each leg this wasn't an option and the decision had been made to pin the breaks instead, one internally and the other externally, and keep a close eye on the situation.

Her left leg, the less injured of the two, was healing nicely. The pins were doing their job and she was already feeling some sensation and had been moving her foot; she knew that it was only a matter of time before she would be walking on it if it weren't for her right leg, which was, unfortunately, another matter entirely. Almost as soon as she had been taken off all her medication, a gradual process, which had ended when the antibiotics, the last ones she was taking, except for the pain relief for the endless agony she felt in that leg, had been stopped she had gotten an infection in it and had to go back onto an even stronger course. The infection had hit hard and fast, scaring the life out of not only her but Jesse and Alex as well. She didn't remember all of it, but from reading her own chart and listening to her husband and doctor she knew what had happened.

_Jesse had been asked to work an extra shift in the ER and so Rae had been alone since lunchtime when he finally arrived at her bedside hoping to share his evening meal with his wife. There was a book on the floor and he had bent to pick it up, thinking that she had drifted off to sleep as she read, and it had slipped from her hand._

_He had gently placed the book on the nightstand and then reached over to move a strand of hair which was resting across her face. The heat that he felt radiating from her caused him to press the buzzer and begin taking her vital signs himself._

_His intervention had woken Rae up, and coming to she began to realise that she felt awful. Unsure of exactly where she was Rae had looked round, hoping to see a familiar face._

_"Jess?"__ Her voice had been broken, and dry sounding so he had carefully given her a small drink of water._

_"It's ok, Honey, we just need to check your leg. Alex'll be here in a minute."_

_"K." She remembered letting herself drift, until suddenly she cried out in agony._

_"Shhh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." The voice, Alex's not Jesse's, seemed to come from a distance, she didn't want to concentrate on it, and instead she had held tightly to the hand that was suddenly resting inside her own as she wondered how long her doctor had been in the room._

_The pain, as her right leg was checked over by Alex and then by her orthopaedic surgeon, increased so much that it had caused her to pass out. Not wanting to add to her obvious distress, Alex had sedated her so that a more detailed examination could take place._

_By the morning the broad spectrum antibiotics had been reintroduced, just thirty-six hours after they had been stopped, to try to combat the serious infection that had resulted from their absence; with that had come the confirmation of news she had a feeling they had all be expecting but trying to ignore, her right leg just wasn't healing._

Rae wasn't a fool, she had read up on the various options open to her, as well as consulting with a cousin in England who had received a similar type of injury in a motor cycle accident. His advice to her had been unequivocal, if drastic, but she knew that even without his input she would have made the same decision alone.

Jesse had departed the previous evening angry, tearful and upset, having been unable to persuade her to change her mind, but he had called as soon as he arrived home to say that he was wrong to have been cross, that the choice, whether he agreed or not was, in the end, hers, and he would support whatever she decided to do as long as she didn't rush into it, and discussed it openly first.

Rae found now that she no longer feared the consultation because of what Doctor Somerville might say, but because she didn't want him to try and change her mind. While she was waiting Rae concentrated on her left foot, as it seemed to stare back at her from the end of the bed and then stuck her tongue out at it. The nail on her big toe had a smiley face on it thanks to Maddie, who had visited the previous afternoon with Daniel, and for a moment she looked at it and smiled too. The time they had spent together had been very pleasant, and her room had felt extremely empty once they left. Pushing the memory aside with regret Rae thought instead about how her left foot felt, trying to gauge whether the pain was really subsiding as much as she thought, before moving it in a small circle and then trying to write her name in the air with her decorated toe.

"Well, that looks very promising." There was a light tap on her doorframe, "Good morning, Mrs. Travis, may I come in?" The New York accent told her that it was her doctor before she turned her head to see the tall, black haired man standing with Alex in the doorway.

"Yes." She wasn't being rude; she just didn't want to use up her energy before the conversation began to get critical.

All the usual checks were done on both legs, and the scans and x-rays taken the previous day were looked at as a quiet discussion was held at the end of her bed. At last though all the preliminaries were over and Alex moved closer to her.

His eyes were tinged with pain, he would never have admitted it, but he had been dreading this meeting, as he knew Doctor Somerville had. This was a part of their job that neither man relished, and he was hoping that all the positiveness Rae had been exhibiting wouldn't be extinguished because of them. "I think you know some of what we are gonna say to you don't you?"

"My leg not good. Need more treatment or … or go. I want it go."

"Rae!" His voice came out far louder than he had planned and he lowered it quickly. "Rae, there are lots of things we can try before we get to that situation, how can you say that?"

"It come from here!" She pointed at her mouth and tried a smile, but knew that although her decision was the right one for her, she would have to convince not only Alex and Jeffery but also Lauren before getting them to agree and humour probably wasn't the way to go.

"Stop it! You know exactly what I mean." His voice was angry now; he couldn't believe they were even talking about this so soon. "Have you thought this through, what it would mean for you, your family? What does Jesse think? Lauren? Why didn't you ask me about it? How can you even think of doing something so irreversible?" Alex stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Doctor Martin, do you think you could go and see if Doctor Yung is available? I can stay with Mrs. Travis." Jeffery smiled, hoping that the young man in front of him would see his request for what it was, a chance to go and cool off a little.

"Um, yeah, sure." Without another word, but feeling embarrassed that he hadn't been able to keep his emotions inside and had been summarily dismissed, Alex left the room.

ooo

Jesse came out of Lauren Yung's office just as Alex arrived and he checked his watch. He was surprised to see his young friend, knowing that Rae's consultation would be happening right now.

"Alex?" He had arranged to see Lauren at this time because Rae had asked him not to be present while she and her doctors talked. Not because she didn't want him there, in many ways she did, but she knew he was upset about her decision, and that she would get upset too if he was there.

"I've come to get Lauren; Jeff wants her to speak with Rae."

"Is she alright, should I go to her do you think?" Jesse looked in the eyes of his friend, and could see that he was upset, maybe a little angry, but definitely upset.

"Oh yeah, she's just fine, it's the rest of us who are having the problems!" His voice was, once again, raised and he turned his face away as Jesse looked at him questioningly.

"I … I'm sorry, Jesse, I know it isn't my decision to make, and I should respect her wishes, but it's only been five months, there are still other things we could try."

Jesse sat down on one of the chairs in Lauren's thankfully empty waiting room and indicated for Alex to do the same.

"Yes, there are, and she knows that, she's looked into it all, but this is what she wants. Alex, Rae isn't a fool; she certainly isn't making a hasty or ill judged decision. I've been surfing the internet finding out as much current information as possible and then bringing it for her to read. You've known her a long time; you should realize that she doesn't make decisions, even unimportant ones, if she isn't well prepared. Trust me this time she definitely knows what she's talking about."

"It's just … I don't … she's been through so much, Jesse, not only this time, but over and over, for her career to end like this, it's just …" He couldn't continue, his feelings were too near the surface, and he didn't have them under control at all yet. Rae's announcement had shocked him, he hadn't considered her wanting to go for the last option so soon, but now he had to think about the fact that she wouldn't back down from that option either.

ooo

The legal papers had arrived from Debbie's lawyers two days previously. Gilbert Sholte had come to the house early on the Wednesday morning and he, Steve, Jo, David, who was on a visit with his daughter, and Michael had made themselves comfortable around the table in the library, to review everything.

The table was a beautiful oak, dark and shining with intricate patterns running through the wood and a lighter, golden wood inlaid to show off the talents of its creator. Spread out all over it now were small piles of papers. Each person, sitting in one of the matching oak chairs, had a copy of every page relevant to the matters at hand. Gilbert was sitting in one of the carver chairs, which were positioned at each end of the table, while Jo had made herself comfortable in the other.

Jayden was fast asleep in what Rae had described as a bouncy chair when she had used one for Eliana and Anneya. As far as Jo was concerned it had to be one of the best inventions on the planet. Jayden just loved it. He could be put in the material seat which was pulled tight over a metal frame, bent at the bottom to form the floor support. Once he was comfortable and strapped in then the gentle movement of his momma's foot underneath the metal just rocked him up and down enough to either keep him happy if he were awake, or send him off to the land of his dreams if he was getting sleepy. As it was the nanny's day off, Jo was enjoying being his primary carer and had no intention of taking him upstairs when he needed his nap.

"Now, I realise that it would be very tempting to keep all our information to ourselves, and let Mrs Walters proceed with her action to acquire the Walters millions, in the dark, shall we say, however, I think that we must pull ourselves together and act in a seemly manner."

Michael nodded his head in agreement with Mr Sholte, as his sister made her disapproval apparent. He wasn't used to being included in this type of meeting, it would have been his place to provide the refreshments that Juan had brought in just a few minutes earlier, not that he was complaining, he had been delighted to be invited.

"The amounts of money that Mrs Walters was hoping to obtain were quite substantial, and so I feel that we need to consolidate our position immediately, let her lawyers know the paperwork to dispute her claim is in our possession and we will have no hesitation to produce it in court should she continue."

"I'm guessin' that although she doesn't realise we have these papers she must be aware of their existence." Jo held the copies in her hand as she spoke. The letters, which had, first of all, been just an interesting visit into the past that she had hoped to include in a now defunct museum project, were instead turning into the vital documents which would keep her fortune where it belonged, with the Walters.

"She must know the adoption, which would have been needed because the woman wasn't the child's natural mother, was legally bindin'. All responsibility was passed with that document, an' if we were now a poor family strugglin' to make ends meet in Texas rather than ownin' most of it, well I doubt if she would be so anxious to be a part of it all!"

Jo had to admit that because of this case and the threat it posed to her family and their assets she had visited with her accountants at Mallard and Fox to find out just how much she was actually worth, which was something she had never known before, or not in quite as much detail as she did now. She also knew if she showed all the figures to her husband he would probably freak. What he didn't know, she had decided, wouldn't hurt him, the fact that they were extremely wealthy was enough right now.

Canny, as he insisted she call him, 'Canny, my dear, short for Canard, French for duck, you remember', had been extremely gracious, going over things personally to show her how she was involved in almost every type of legal business venture she could think of. Jo had seriously considered changing her accountants after Marmaduke Fox had been murdered, but in the end she had listened to Gilbert when he told her that as far as he and an independent accountant could see, Renny, 'short for Renard, you remember,' had, apart from the two accounts which had had their funds transferred and diverted without Jo's permission, but thanks, she was sure to Debbie's interference, done an excellent job and he had no doubt that Mr. Mallard would continue to do the same.

The thought of changing accountants again hadn't been a prospect she had viewed with delight and so she had been happy to accept her lawyer's viewpoint and stay where she was. The past few weeks had shown her the wisdom of that decision and everything they needed from a financial point of view was also on the table, the only thing missing was Mr. Mallard himself, who was in Seattle, visiting his mother.

"If we send copies of these papers to Austin will that be the end of this side of our problems with her?" Steve hadn't looked at the financial papers very closely, just the number of zeroes made his head swim, to have to take in all the different details of companies, properties, stocks, shares and equities, well, he preferred to leave that to the professionals. Jo was his wife, he loved her with all of his heart, her money didn't matter to him in any way apart from the fact that he knew it mattered to her.

"Yes, Sir, it should be, Mrs Walters isn't a stupid lady, and her lawyer is definitely not a stupid man, they won't want to fight something that is going to cost them a lot of money and ultimately get them nowhere, so I think we will hear no more about the legalities of who is entitled to the Walters' wealth." Gilbert smiled as he finished speaking; he was very fond of his two clients and was dismayed at the amount of misfortune which had befallen them lately.

"Good, Jo, Michael, Steve, I am so sorry that this is happenin'. I wish I could have handled it all myself, but it got too big for that." David looked suitably upset and Jo leant across and laid a hand on his arm.

"Honey, we are family, we've always been there for each other, that isn't gonna change, an' now there is one more of us too." She smiled at her half brother as she spoke and saw Michael nod his head slightly in acknowledgement of her words.

"She will be extradited, won't she, Steve?" Jo looked across at her husband, worry suddenly evident in her eyes.

"Oh yeah, murder, and conspiracy to murder. You know it never fails to amaze me, how stupid some people can be. She killed Marmaduke herself and then, apparently, gave the gun to Wayne. He shot Daniel with it, and the two crimes were linked by the lab boys who got a match on the slug. The box of bullets found at his apartment had six missing from it, one of which was the one found in Marmaduke. Two of the others in the gun had her fingerprints on them. There is no way, plausible way that is, for her to explain that, nor the fact that it proves she knew Wayne. Add to that the fact that Marmaduke's secretary has positively ID'd her as a potential client who visited two or three times prior to the killing, just before the money started being moved from account to account, and I think you get rid of any reasonable doubt."

The other people around the table had been nodding as Steve spoke, but Jo also felt her heart soar. Her husband, her beloved husband, was speaking about a case with the sort of enthusiasm she was used to hearing, and that was worth all the money she had and more.

ooo

Rae closed her eyes; she didn't want to talk about it any longer. She could understand Doctor Somerville trying to change her mind, he didn't know her as well as the others in the room, but Jesse and Lauren both knew that once her mind was made up she very rarely changed it.

"I get Jesse look on net. I read things he bring me. I sure." Her eyes had opened as she began to speak, but when she finished she closed them again, trying to indicate that she didn't want to discuss it further.

"I think maybe it would be a good idea if Rae and I had a little chat, would you gentlemen excuse us?" Lauren, who was in the chair furthest away from Rae, stood to indicate that she expected no arguments from her colleagues in the room.

There was murmured assent and, collecting up files and x-rays, the two doctors took their leave, Jesse stopping to kiss his wife gently on the cheek as he did so. For a moment or two the women, friends as well as patient and therapist, sat in silence and then Rae spoke.

"I not change mind."

"No, I don't expect you to." She saw the look of shock replaced with a smile and then she continued. "What I do expect is for you to realise that, however difficult this is for you, it will be ten times, a hundred times, harder for those who love you."

"I can't help that. This for me, for my life." Her eyes flashed, and some of the old Rae spirit flared. "I not want stay here. I want be with girls, with Jesse. But not this way."

"But this way could mean you have two legs; you could be as you were before."

"No." The one word was spoken so sadly that Lauren couldn't face her friend. "I never old Rae. She gone. I find new Rae, one who good mum, good wife. I not that now. This," she indicated the leg that was causing her so much pain, causing her friends so much grief, and then carried on talking, "this go. I get new leg, new life."

"What if you change your mind? Once it's gone, it's gone; you'll be left with a prosthetic limb for the rest of your life. What if you can't tolerate it? What if then you wish you never had the operation, how will you cope with just a stump?" Lauren knew she sounded harsh but she needed to understand how serious her friend was.

"I not know. But I face it. This, this leg, can't face. I strong, but not that strong. Want start living now, not wait."

Lauren knew the argument would be eloquent if her friend could speak more fluently. As it was, even though her words left room for misinterpretation and an opportunity for an attempt at persuasion, she also knew that to do so would be futile.

"I have in … inf … ation." The word didn't sound quite right to her own ears, but Rae hoped that Lauren would understand. Her therapist hadn't had many problems deciphering what she was trying to say. "Leg, in … f … ation. You see?"

Lauren watched as Rae opened the drawer to her nightstand and tried to take out a folder of papers. Her fingers didn't grasp things very well, and in the end she took over and removed them for her.

"This, you want me to look at this?" Rae nodded and so Lauren opened the file. Rae's laptop sat on a table that slid over the bed. For a little while each day she had been writing e-mails to her children in the U.K. and putting them onto a memory stick for Jesse to send in the evenings. He would then return the next day with any new information he had found on what having a lower limb amputated would entail as well as any mail she had received from family and friends in the last twenty-four hours. There was usually quite a large amount of both.

"These good … site … Jesse find."

"Ok, that's fine." Lauren leafed through the various sheets, reading some of it, looking at pictures which had also been printed out and wondering at the strength of someone who could have her husband find all the information, read it all and then talk about it objectively. There was also a long letter, presumably sent over the internet, from someone called Richard who lived north of London. He explained how he had suffered through treatment similar to the sort that Lauren knew Jeff and Alex would suggest, and how, in the end, the decision to amputate his leg, from just below the hip in his case, had been the best choice he had made, and wished it had happened immediately after his accident.

"You know you're different from Richard? Just because he feels this way doesn't mean you have to."

"I know. But do. Lauren, I fed up to hurt. I know this right."

There was a tap at the door just then and turning both women saw Alex standing uncertainly on the threshold. Rae felt tears flood her eyes unexpectedly and then he was there next to her, apologising for his absence from the meeting, as she quietly shushed him.

"Alex, good doctor, you keep me 'live. But this, this my decision. Please."

"I know it is. I also know that you have been to hell and back more than once over the last few years, but, Rae, I don't want your career to end this way …"

"Alex, career over … this for me … not be cop I know that. Help me?" There was sadness in her voice and her face as she interrupted quietly.

"Ok, I'll listen to your arguments, and look at the research you have, and if you can persuade me that you understand all it entails, I will do all I can to help you." He had to turn away then, the tears in his friends eyes were upsetting him more than he had thought possible. The fact that the admission he had to make to himself, that the course of treatment Rae wanted would happen, was almost the final straw and his own tears were too near the surface for him to look at anyone any longer.

ooo

The female guard standing in the hallway of Austin county jail shook her head; the meeting in the room behind her had been even more noisy and fractious than usual. She would hold court in the rec room later, that was for sure, and this time she had heard it all, served the woman right too, snobby bitch, and now there was crying, pathetic, there was no doubt about it, this one was gonna suffer if she was found guilty.

"How can I not be the heir?" Debbie sniffed, daintily, and took the proffered Kleenex with a small nod of her head.

"Mrs Walters, I have told you, explained to you, two, three times already, but I will try again. The baby was adopted into the Jardinero family, an' when that happened all rights, as far as the Winchester family were concerned, were willin'ly surrendered. There is nothin' you can do now, all these years, decades later, to change that."

"But Momma always told me that I was the rightful heir to the Walters' millions, I just had to provide my own heir an' everythin' would be fine."

"Well, I'm very sorry, Mrs Walters, but your momma was wrong."

For a moment or two there was no sound in the room but that of Debbie crying. Finally, after a very un-ladylike bout of nose blowing, she spoke again.

"An' the extradition, you can fight that, surely?" Although she worded it as a question, her voice was raised, and there was no doubt that she expected only a positive answer.

"I can try, but the charge of murder in California is gonna be hard to get around."

"Well, find a way!" The words were screeched out now, all pretence at genteelness forgotten in the heat of the moment. "I am payin' you big bucks to get me off on these trumped up charges. Don't expect me to write a cheque if you don't deliver."

The lawyer, Donald Feinstein, wasn't used to being screamed at; what he was used to was dealing with smaller crimes than the ones he was faced with. He knew however, that he was the most expensive lawyer that Debbie Walters could afford now that her blank chequebook had effectively been ripped up.

"If you are not happy with the service I am providin' then I'm sure there are other lawyers in this town who would be only too pleased to take on your case." There weren't, and both he and she knew it. Debbie Walters had become a pariah the moment it became clear she had defrauded one of the most powerful businesses and businessmen in the state of Texas. Donald had considered turning it down himself, but the prospect of fighting a case in the California courts had proved too tempting to resist and so he was, for the time being at least, prepared to represent her.

"I can't change again now, I would have to explain everythin' all over, an' besides, I like you." She smiled the smile that had brought her a thousand drinks and finally the biggest catch she could ever have hoped to make. Sure, she had set her sights on David Walters when she was about thirteen years of age, but she had played the game, kept out of sight, watching, learning, until she knew how to be his ideal woman. Getting pregnant had been a snap, she'd never had a problem getting pregnant the other two times either, of course they hadn't resulted in babies, just large hospital bills, but there had been no way she was gonna get rid of a Walters' baby and her little girl had been the sweetest thing.

"When are you gonna fix it for me to see my chil'? She must be missin' her momma so much. Damita has no say in the fact that that man has just taken her momma away from her. She shouldn't be a victim in all this." The comments might have been slightly more persuasive if Debbie hadn't remained hard faced and dry eyed.

"Your daughter is in California at the moment, an' you know that your visitation rights were lost when Mr. Walters gained full custody of the chil'." That had been another screaming and slanging match. Mr. Feinstein shuddered as he remembered his client, dressed beautifully in a dark cream Dior suit, he knew it was Dior; he had been given explicit instructions as to its make, size and colour before he fetched it from her up-town apartment, finally showing her true self to the judge.

The custody hearing had been heard quickly not only because of the social position of those involved, but also because David Walters had wanted to make sure that whatever the outcome of the trials to come Damita Walters would have no part to play in the closing arguments of either lawyer.

The state had agreed with him that Debbie had, by her behaviour and the charges against her, proved herself to be less than a fit mother. The fact that Debbie's new neighbours had testified to hearing the little girl cry continually with no one comforting her for extended periods of time had also worked against her. Receipts and sightings being used to prove that while Damita cried her mother hadn't even been in the apartment building.

Debbie though, so used to getting her own way, to being pampered within an inch of her life, still thought she would be able to change everything around so she was the victor, not realising everyone else knew, already, that she was preparing to fight a battle she could not win.

ooo

The decision to operate had finally been agreed by Rae's medical team almost two weeks later. All of them were persuaded by the document she had written to show she understood the ramifications of her decision, as well as the effects it would have on those around her.

It hadn't been easy for Rae to see things from another person's point of view, so to have to do so from the position of all the other people in her family, as well as her friends, had been an exercise which had involved a lot of searching within herself.

Although the decision she'd made hadn't been easy, once she had decided to go ahead, as far as she was concerned, the matter was closed. Now she had to face the fact that, as well as being worried about the actual operation, those who loved her really were concerned for her wellbeing afterwards, knowing the reduction in mobility and the psychological consequences couldn't be gauged by her until it was impossible to return to her previous situation.

In Rae's mind, as she imagined what would happen, she could see herself once the operation had taken place. Her life would fall back into some sort of routine, she would recover, slowly she knew, but she would recover, beginning the processes needed to walk with an artificial limb while those around her helped. She realised as she talked with them, wrote e-mails to them, read their replies, that they had thought about this just as carefully, if not more so, than she had and they all had worries which needed to be addressed.

The document, begun as she informed her close circle of loved ones of her decision, started out as quite one sided, she wanted it done, other people would get used to it, and it was a far better outlook for her than continuing treatment none of which was guaranteed to negate the possibility of amputation in the future.

Gradually though, other people's views were considered, discussed and evaluated. None of them were summarily dismissed, and all of them, Rae could see, had merit and needed to be treated seriously.

The e-mails were included in what could be called her report. The concerns were all genuine, as were the replies, and gradually, not only her medical team but also her support team, began to come round to her way of thinking. Those people most important to her, Jesse, Jo, Steve, Mark, Alex, who was in the unique position of being vital to her in both teams, Amanda, her three children in London, John, Patrick and Mara, as well as, to a certain extent, Eliana and Anneya, although they were really too young to understand what was going on, had all had a part to play in the shape of her future.

All of Rae's arguments were compelling; it had only been her short-sightedness with regard to her friends which had needed addressing closely together with her slightly rose coloured view of the future. More research had opened up a world of difficulties to her, but still she knew those difficulties, however hard they were, would be preferable to the life she was facing right now.

Rae was pleased she had been instructed to look more closely into what the amputation would entail, and she knew Jesse was too. They both felt that once the operation was over they would understand each others' positions more accurately and their friends would feel the same way. So, on a Monday morning, six months after her accident, the same day Daniel finally returned to school, Rae was wheeled down to the OR for what she hoped would be the last time, leaving those friends and family to wait, knowing they would, as they had always done, support each other through the waiting hours and beyond.


	34. Chapter 34

34 **The Final Push**

The sun was high in the sky, it was a beautiful Los Angeles day, no smog, no mists, but she wasn't in a position to enjoy it. She was running, she didn't know where, but she knew she was running and that she had to get to him, if she didn't the guy just in front of her would hurt him. The sidewalk was hard beneath her feet as she pounded along it. She had never enjoyed running, not for fun anyway, although she had been jogging with both Jesse and Texas in the past. For her job though it was a necessity, somehow no one ever surrendered quietly these days, much preferring to put her through her paces, which normally included a chase, a tackle and then a reading of their rights.

This time though she was trying to prevent an incident. She could see that the guy in front of her had a gun; she also knew that his intended target was Steve, and he was totally unaware of the danger behind him. The buildings all seemed to merge together as she tried to increase her speed, she couldn't call out, not yet, because just as Steve didn't know about the gunman, the gunman didn't know about her. If only she could get a clear shot at him, if only.

Finally, close enough to make a difference, she heard her own voice, "Steve!" it seemed so loud as she thought his name, but came out as no more than a whisper and she could see that he wasn't hearing her at all.

The gun had disappeared and in its place she could see hands, so big, so powerful, they were going to push her partner, she had to grab the hands, but as she reached out, as her fingertips touched them she fell, a scream left her lips and suddenly the only things she could cling to were railings, fire escape railings, but they wouldn't hold her. She felt a hot blast of pain against her fingers and again she was falling, falling forever, and this time, as she fell, Rae knew that she'd never again run after anything or anyone. It was then that her eyes would open, she would gasp for breath and the tears would inevitably start.

There were arms for her to collapse into instantly, and gentle hands to smooth her hair, a kind voice to shush her, but best of all gradually, she knew that she was safe again, that with Jesse beside her she would be ok and, as the tears soaked through his shirt, Rae held him, knowing that however hard this part was, her decision was still the right one.

Jesse had no words to comfort his wife but the noises he made seemed to work, and for that he was grateful. The operation to remove her right leg just below the knee had been hard on all of them, not only Rae. Alex had been asked to assist in the OR but had declined, he had been so upset by the whole thing he had stayed home until Jesse called and let him know she was back in her room.

For some reason Rae hadn't tolerated the anaesthetic at all well, being sick for over two days after she came round. The pain medication dulled not only her leg but also her mental abilities, and it had taken more than a week before she was back to something like the person she had been just prior to the operation.

It had been then the dreams had started. Dreams where she needed to save someone, someone she loved, someone just out of reach, someone she had to run to, and each time she would be in touching distance when she would find herself back on the fire escape, see herself holding on to the bars and realise that she could no longer do these things and she would fall, waking up as she did so, sobbing loudly on occasion or on others just letting the tears roll down her face without a sound.

Although Rae had talked with all her friends, her family, both in LA and London, before the surgery, no one had really been able to understand why she wanted to take such a drastic step without trying the pins in her leg for longer. After the operation though Doctor Somerville had spoken to Jesse and some of her reasons, which may have been only subconscious, became apparent.

The infection that had seemed to overwhelm her so quickly when her medication was stopped had, it became clear, been present for a lot longer than they thought. The antibiotics had kept it under control but never, it seemed, eradicated it and when Jeff removed the leg he realized that Rae's decision had probably saved her from months of what could have been pointless therapy and agonizing pain. They weren't however, sure if Rae had, somehow, known what the future held or whether she had unintentionally prevented herself from the misery of such a virulent infection but, considering she had been certain of her course of action, all were relieved that it had been agreed upon.

By the end of the first week after her operation, it was Rae who was having the difficulty dealing with the outcome of what had been done. Although she still knew that her decision had been the right one, the consequences of that decision had been hard for her to take and her friends and family, now seeing the wisdom of her choice for themselves, knew they needed to rally round and offer all the support they could as she struggled to come to terms with what had and would happen to her.

For the first two weeks Rae had never been alone, someone had always been either in her room with her or, if she needed a little bit of space, just outside in the hallway. Gradually, as the pain began to lessen and her release date came nearer and nearer, she finally began to talk, not very much, but just enough to begin to air her concerns.

The first person she confided in was Mark, and he had sat, her hand in his and listened as she spoke.

_"I not pre … pared I think." _

_Mark knew one of Rae's problems was that she was still unable to talk as she would like. So her thoughts about her leg, the operation, everything she had been though, weren't easy for her to discuss because, even when she wanted to, the words just weren't there._

_"Honey, no one is. None of us can understand how you feel, but we can sit, listen to you, try to help. We all love you and just want to have you happy again."_

_"I know and … I … I sort of happy. I have life … but … dif … ent."_

_"Rae, this is all new, it's gonna be hard for you to adjust to what you can and can't do any more, but you aren't alone; none of this has to be done by yourself unless you want it to be." Mark knew that there were times when everyone needed their own space and Rae would be no different._

_"No, not lone.__ I … I need talk … you listen … you help Jesse? I … maybe I write it?"_

_"Sweetie you know I'll listen, Lauren will listen to you, we all will, but some things will have to be worked out by you and Jesse, together. He is talking, but he's listening to the others too, Alex especially, and I think that's helping him a lot. Just be glad you aren't married to Steve!"_

_"Oh yeah!"__ Rae had smiled, both of them knowing that the man they loved unconditionally would have turned in on himself if this had happened to Jo, although they would concede that since he had started to speak with Lauren and have his massage treatments he had been far more relaxed than they could ever remember._

After speaking with Mark, Rae had tried to ask questions of all her visitors, just one or two each so that she didn't overload anyone, and when it became clear that Alex would release her in time for Thanksgiving her mind as well as her body was far more accepting of her limitations than it had been.

ooo

Rae had been in the hospital for over seven months, her body gradually recovering from the massive trauma it had suffered when she had been pushed from the fire escape. She had been outside, sitting in the gardens in the California sun, enjoying the warmth of its rays on her face, she had even been for a drive a few times when she felt she might go stir crazy from seeing doctors and nurses all day, but now, as she watched the familiar landscape, made slightly strange by the passing of time, stretched out before her, her heart began to beat loudly in her chest and she clenched her hands into fists in her lap.

"Rae, are you ok?" Jesse had looked over as he waited at a red light on the way into Beverly Hills, knowing that the day was a difficult one for his wife, but not knowing how she would actually deal with it.

"I … yeah … sort of." Words were rushing around in her mind, describing emotions, forming questions, imagining answers, but none of them were formed enough for her to voice them, even if she had been able, and she knew there was only one way to express how she felt. "I … I bundle nerves."

Jesse had laughed, he knew just what she meant, the hours between his waking at seven, and being able to leave to collect his wife at ten had seemed almost as long as the entire time he had been without her. She had missed so many things, birthdays, the day that Eliana started her proper schooling, Anneya standing up in front of her pre-school class and, in sign, welcoming the moms and dads to a new semester, as well as one of the biggest changes in their daughters' lives.

Now that Rae and Jesse had Miss Vicki as well as Mrs Cameron they had decided they no longer needed to send the girls to Sally. It had been a very hard decision to make but, after a little over five years, the time had come to say goodbye.

Sally had been to visit with Rae in the hospital, spending time with her as a friend, and both women knew that even though there was no need for them to meet again they would do so because they enjoyed each other's company.

Rae and Jesse had thought long and hard about what to buy as a parting gift from themselves and the girls but, apart from a photographic portrait which Eliana and Anneya had sat for in the back yard of their home, had come up empty.

One afternoon though, as they sat talking together in the hospital, Sally mentioned that she had found a British link to her family line. Rae, looking confused, had sat and listened as her friend explained to her how she was, gradually, making up her family tree. The task, initially, had been just collecting dates and birth places but, little by little, the complexities of it had drawn Sally in and she was now not only hooked, but also searching through records and documents from the seventeenth century.

After that it had been an easy job for Jesse to search the internet and find a company who offered genealogy courses in the locations where your ancestors had lived. Rae had done some gentle probing, it had taken a while, but she had discovered the English/Welsh borders were where Sally was originally from, and just two days earlier she had boarded a plane to attend a two week course being held in the county town of Hereford.

Rae became aware of the car slowing down and she looked across at her husband knowing that they weren't quite home and wondering what he was doing. "I thought I would just stop a minute, because from here you can see the house, it's missed you as much as you have missed it."

Grateful for his thoughtfulness Rae looked up the driveway to Oak Place, in her mind it had always been beautiful, but now, as she saw it and her heart caught in her throat, she realised just how much a part of them all it had become.

ooo

The cell which had become his home was so familiar to him now that he didn't even think about his life outside of it. He followed a routine which suited him so well that he woke each morning happy to be the one in charge of everyday things, making sure that the room was neat and tidy, that his bed was always made and his prison dress worn exactly as it was supposed to be worn.

The pressures to conform which had eaten away at him on the outside were making him stronger now that he was confined. Most of the time Matthew was in his cell, for his own safety the warden had said, but that suited him fine. This morning he had spent an hour with his lawyer, another hour with his psychologist, but finally he was able to lie back on his bunk and read the LA Times. He wasn't always able to have one, it was a privilege, but his shrink had brought it with her and then left it on the table.

Not knowing when he would get another paper with all the supplements Matthew planned to ration it out. Today he would read the current news, may as well know what was happening as it happened, the rest would then last him two or three days if he was lucky.

Normally Matthew didn't read the political news, nor the financial, but when he was alone as much as he was now; every article interested him and relieved the boredom, which was why one small side section, that he might otherwise have missed, caught his eye.

**_Injured policewoman returns home_**

_Doctors at __Community General__Hospital__ announced yesterday that they had released Detective Sergeant Reagan Yeager from their care. The British detective, who was seriously injured after falling from a third floor fire escape, returned to her Beverly Hills home after seven months of treatment, although it is understood that she will return as an outpatient. In a statement read by the hospital, her husband, Doctor Jesse Travis, said that although she had been delighted by all the good wishes she had received they would ask for some privacy as they began to rebuild their lives._

_Red Rose Killer, Nicholas Large, believed to be responsible for the attack on Detective Yeager, will face trial in the next month._

The next month, that soon? He had known the case against him was almost complete. He didn't think he would be found insane, although there had certainly been moments when the urge to kill had overridden every other feeling in his body, had shut out even the sun, and nothing else had mattered but finding and killing his next victim. Matthew guessed if that made him insane then he would spend the rest of his life in a mental institution, or the rest of his life until they deemed it safe to release him back into the community.

Matthew knew if he was released he would kill again, he still felt the urge, still knew that blood lust, and so, he reasoned, being found guilty would be his best bet. He could stay here; wait until all his appeals were over, which could take years, keep himself out of harms way. Yes, that would be the best result for everyone.

ooo

Rae ran the comb through her hair and then carefully clipped it back. It was a skill that had taken her a long time to relearn, but now she could do it without looking like she had been dragged through a hedge. She liked having her hair long and had resisted loudly when it had been suggested it would be easier for her to return to her previous short style.

Resting on the bed behind her was her new leg. The first one, which had been fitted at the hospital, had been uncomfortable, it had also rubbed a little, and so Texas, forever her generous and gracious friend, had ordered the latest hi-tech version on the market. She had been measured at home for the new limb, had her skin tones photographed and described, and it had been in her possession for just over a week. It fitted like a glove, had, so far, caused no more discomfort than was to be expected as she put her full weight onto it, and delighted her totally.

Today was its big outing though. Nicholas Large was on trial and, to her horror, she had been called to give evidence. The guilty plea had led her to believe she would be just a face in the crowd as justice was served, but the lawyer who had been retained for Large was adamant that, although his client had pleaded guilty to the murder charges, the proof wasn't there in her case and he should be acquitted.

"Hey, how you doing?" Jesse's voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned towards him with a smile. He looked so handsome in his suit, his hair neat, well neat for him, and a little longer just as she liked it.

"I ok." Her words still came out very slowly and they had resigned themselves to the fact that, for the rest of her life, she would speak that way. Rae was continuing speech therapy and her actual pronunciation was much better than it had been. The words that left her brain now sounded the same when they left her mouth. There weren't as many of them, some seemingly getting lost on the journey, but those she did say sounded like they should.

"Do you need a hand?" Jesse could see her crutches by the dressing table and picked them up. Until she had her leg attached she was reliant either on them or a wheelchair to get around. She hated the crutches though, they caused pain in her shoulders and arms, she felt vulnerable when she used them, and was scared of falling over.

"Yes please." The two words, not usually used when Rae was offered help surprised Jesse and he realised how nervous she was.

"Come on then, hopalong, let's get you ready." He was rewarded by his wife sticking her tongue out at him, and then carefully he placed an arm around her and, as she used one of her crutches, he guided her across the room.

ooo

The courtroom was packed. Split into three sections each one was full to bursting. Steve, picking up the 'reserved' notice from his own seat sat down and looked around. As far as he was aware most interest in the proceedings on this Tuesday was focused on his ex-partner and the testimony she was going to give.

Steve knew that the defence was hoping for a guilty but insane verdict, which meant that Nicholas Large would be sent to a secure treatment facility. Trying to kill a cop would harm his case, and so they were attempting to prove that it hadn't been him who had done the pushing, that he had arrived afterwards and been arrested falsely. The fact that he had actually confessed to the crime in Cheryl's presence was being treated as an admission under duress, and so Rae and probably Cheryl would both have to testify in this part of the trial. His own testimony had promised to cause a stir, but his recollections, almost destroyed by the breakdown he had suffered and the walls his brain had erected to hide painful memories, had been incomplete and of no real use to either side.

Although Steve didn't dress in his full uniform very often, he had made an exception today and sat, thankfully in an air conditioned courtroom, looking very smart. The straightness of his back, his piercing blue eyes, the sweep of his hair, added to the officiality of his Captain's uniform and the cap he held in his lap made him more visible than those around him. The visibility though was all for Rae's benefit. If she could see him then she would also be able to see Jesse and Alex who would be there to support her as well.

Steve looked around, he realised that he knew some of the members of the press who were gathered directly behind the defendant's table personally, especially Rachael Collins, Tanisha's sister. Tanisha had been one of the first victims, killed in San Francisco; Nicholas Large would be extradited after his trial in LA to face charges there too, each police department and District Attorney wanting justice and closure for their own victims and the victims' families.

Directly to his right were the relatives of some of the LA victims. The parents of Jenna, the young woman whose killing he and Rae had picked up all those months and years ago to start this whole thing, Nadine's parents, who he had met when she had been working at Bob's. They had all come in on her night off so that her mom and dad could taste the best barbeque in LA. Nice people, devastated by their loss. There would be no one there for Sam Morrison; her mother had committed suicide the day after her daughter's murder, unable to face life without her. So many victims, but each of them had been just the one person in a far larger group of people who had been left to grieve, to ask why, to wonder whether justice would ever be served. Now, today, and over the past few weeks, as well as those to come, hopefully that justice would be done, and they could begin to find a life they could cope with when a focal point of that life was always going to be missing.

He stood up to let Jesse and Alex move into the row of seats and sit down. They had decided between them that he would be seen easiest if he sat at the end, and so Rae knew to find her partner and then her husband and doctor would be right next to him. Steve could see that Jesse was a little nervous but determined. He knew his partner and best friend's wife was scared, not of what had to be done, but of being seen to be any less of a person because of what had happened to her.

Alex, who, it seemed, had found the past two months or so more difficult than anyone, was finally accepting that his treatment and initial assessments hadn't been at fault and no one had been let down by him, least of all Rae, when her leg had had to be removed. The young man, conscientious and open, had spent long hours with both Jesse and Rae, talking, listening and gradually believing that they would be forever grateful for what he had done, which had been to save Rae's life.

The previous witness, a psychologist, called out of turn because of other commitments, had left the stand a little over five minutes earlier and now the lawyer, Kenneth Lawson, stood up and began to speak.

"The defence calls Detective Sergeant Reagan Yeager to the stand." There was a hum in the courtroom and Jesse felt his heart begin to beat faster. Rae had been very nervous in the small anteroom that she waited in, and he wanted nothing more than to be able to take her away and keep her safe.

Although she didn't know it, that was what he planned to do once her day in court was over. While investigating the possibility of a vacation for Sally he had found a beautiful hotel overlooking the ocean roughly thirty miles south of LA. He had booked a suite for four days, just the two of them, and their bags were already packed and in the trunk of Rae's PC Cruiser, although they wouldn't actually be leaving until the morning. Jesse was expecting Rae to need a good night's sleep in her own bed after her ordeal which was about to begin.

While he had been thinking his wife had made her way into the courtroom, slowly, walking unaided towards the witness box, where she waited to be sworn in, her eyes sweeping the room until they rested on Steve, then Jesse and Alex and just the hint of a smile was seen.

"Detective Yeager, could you tell us what you are doing for a living at the moment?" Mr Lawson was obviously going to go for the jugular right from the start. His tone, his stance, everything about him was confrontational and Rae felt herself take a mental step backwards.

"I … profile." While she had been in the hospital Ron had begun to show her how he would go about compiling a profile on a criminal, using the victim's details as well as the crime scene and forensic analysis to paint his verbal picture. In the six weeks since she had been home Rae had worked non-stop to hone her skills, and was due to attend a course at Quantico in a month's time. Steve had already asked for her help on a case Wilshire were struggling with, and she had used Nicholas Large's case to work backwards, picking out the important components and then trying to see if she would have used them in the correct way to profile the man who had tried to end her life. She knew she still had a great deal to learn but she was more than anxious to do so.

"I see, so it would be incorrect of me to address you as Detective then?"

"Objection, I can see no point to this line of questioning." The Assistant District Attorney, Julia Delgardo, leapt to her feet.

"I am merely trying to ascertain what job the witness holds at present."

"I will allow it, but unless you see this witness as hostile, Mr. Lawson, I would moderate your tone." The judge, an imposing figure, who was clearly in charge in his courtroom, was known to some as the killer judge. Judge Piller had gained the nickname, as well as 'Piller the killer', after handing down the death sentence in three of his four first cases on the bench.

Mr Lawson just nodded his head and then turned back to Rae. "What should I call you, Detective, Mrs. Yeager, what?"

Rae wanted to glare at him, he was making her say things that were unnecessary, he would know that she was no longer Mrs. Yeager, but now she had to tell him herself.

"You call me Mrs. Travis … is my name."

"Very well, Mrs. Travis, I would like to go over with you the events of Friday 13th July last year."

"Yes." The lawyer waited, as if expecting Rae to say something more, but in the end realised that the one word was all he was going to get.

"In your own words, would you please tell me how you arrived in my client's apartment that day?"

This time she nodded, then looked over to where her little support group were sitting. She was delighted to see that Mark had joined them; he had been called into the hospital and so hadn't been sure if he would get away in time.

"I … I home. Day off. Jesse read book … Albert's book."

"I see, and maybe you would tell the members of the jury who Jesse is and also Albert."

"Jesse my husband … Albert killed … he help me with … lots of reading."

Kenneth Lawson held up a journal. "This is the book you are talking about? Which, your honour we would like to enter as exhibit 1a, you had it at home and your husband was reading it?"

"Yes … I work day off … Jesse help me. He … he find name." Now she was talking Rae didn't feel nervous any more. Jesse had always helped Steve with his cases, if this man didn't like it then it was tough, all she had to do was tell the truth and they could go home.

"And what name did you find, Mrs. Travis? Or should I say your husband, not a member of our police force, but a doctor, I believe, what name did he find?"

She felt herself blush, not something that happened very often, and she was angry at that and the way this man was treating her husband.

"He find … he find Matthew Little. I take book … call Ste … Captain Sloan."

"I see, and Captain Sloan, who is a member of our police force, did what, operate on someone?"

"Objection!"

"Sustained. Mr. Lawson, you will refrain from making personal comments."

Julia sat down again her fury visible to all around her.

"We … find judge … then go apartment. There no one home." She was almost back there in the hallway, Steve one side of the door, counting down, she the other waiting, ready to cover him, to do whatever was necessary to close the case, although at the time they hadn't known just how vital the information behind the door was.

"Mrs. Travis?" The voice was that of the judge, and Rae realised that she must have lapsed into silence.

"I … sorry. We go in … search … secure … Steve … Captain Sloan find … things."

"We need more detail than that, Mrs. Travis." Mr Lawson's voice, although less confrontational than before was still anything but friendly.

"There …" This time she stopped to consider, the apartment wasn't something she had tried to think about over the time in the hospital but now she needed to see its layout.

"There three bedrooms … one messy, one tidy and one … one full of things."

"I see." Kenneth Lawson didn't really want to go into too much detail about what was in the room, but he knew that to get his client off the hook of attempting to kill a police officer he would have to probe just a little.

"These things, were they what you would expect to find?"

Rae shook her head, "No, we … we find pictures … of dead girls … clothes … we find … I find …" She looked up for a moment and everyone in the room could see that the memory was causing her distress. "There was hair … long hair … I … it made … I sick … I have get out … it bad." There were tears on her cheeks now, tears which she made no effort to brush away knowing that she would most likely miss and have to try again.

"Mrs. Travis, would you like to pause for a moment?" It was the judge who spoke, and Rae looked at him gratefully, pulling her gaze from where it had rested on Nicholas Large. She had purposely ignored him from the time she had entered the room, but asher words had taken hercloser and closer to the awful things she had found Rae had realised that she was unable to stop from looking at him, wanting to see a reaction, any reaction at all, from the man she was here to try and help convict.

"I … I have drink? Please?" The bailiff came across to her with a glass in his hand, there was clear cold looking water in it and he held it out to her.

"You … you hold, I drop." Carefully she took two sips of the water, enjoying the feel as it made its way down her throat, and then she smiled. "Thank you. I fine now."

"Please continue then, and tell us what it was that happened when you felt sick." It was the judge who spoke again and she smiled at him as well before nodding.

"I … I know girls hair cut off. I hold hair. I run … I need door open … it stuck, I … I want sick …"

Her breath was coming faster now, and Jesse and Alex watching from the second row of seats both began to worry.

"I get outside … he … I pushed … I … f … fall and am … am hold … bars …" Rae made vertical movements with her hands, as if that would explain to everyone just what it was she had grasped hold of, trying to save her own life.

"So you didn't fall over the balcony when you were pushed?" Mr. Lawson moved closer to the witness box, obviously hoping that he could increase his advantage.

"No … I hold … I told I lucky … I hold on."

"I see, and then what happened, Mrs. Travis?"

Rae looked down; she saw the slight line across her pants where her prosthetic limb ended and her real leg began, she heard the words in her head, telling her how to answer all of the questions with full and comprehensive answers, and then she looked up again, knowing where the line of questioning was going, and spoke softly.

"I not know."

"I see, you don't know what happened after you grabbed hold of the rail, do you know how you got into the position that you found yourself?" The tone was back, sarcastic, unpleasant, gloating.

"Yes … I pushed. I tell that now." She was finding each question more difficult than the last, all she wanted to do was close her eyes and let the world carry on without her, or maybe ask for a pause, say that she needed to rest for a while, but she did neither of those things, instead she just stared back at the man who was ready to pounce and waited for the next question.

"I see, you were pushed, and who pushed you, Mrs. Travis, do you know that, did you see who it was?"

This time she hesitated, but knew that there was no way to avoid answering, and so slowly raising her head she swallowed hard and then spoke.

"No, I not see."


	35. Chapter 35

35 **Plans for the Future and Memories of the Past**

The directors' boardroom at Community General Hospital was buzzing, and Jo looked around, a little embarrassed at all the fuss that was being made. She had waited a long time for her moment though, and so swallowing down her feelings and putting a smile on her face wasn't as hard as she had thought it would be.

Daniel was sitting one side of her, so smart in his black pants, white polo and black leather jacket. He was almost seventeen, and had become a young man before her eyes over the last few months. He sensed that his mom was looking at him and squeezed her hand. "You ok?"

"Oh, yeah, Darlin' I'm just fine, I love you, you do know that, don't you?"

"Yes," the smile was instant, "and you know I love you too." It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact uttered with the confidence of youth and the warm feeling it left her with was delightful.

Steve was sitting in the seat next to her on the other side, looking, she had to admit, devastatingly handsome in his new grey suit. His whole demeanour was one of a man at peace with himself, and she was overjoyed that he was able to feel that way.

When she had suggested he had a few yoga lessons and massages she had never dreamed that six months later he would still be doing both things, although the yoga was now done either with her or occasionally alone, Lorraine coming in once a week to give him a massage. Neither activity was something that Steve would want made common knowledge, but she for one would shout the news from the rooftops if it meant that he stayed the way he was now forever.

Just a little further across the room Rae was standing alongside Jesse talking quietly with Alex and Shannon, no doubt discussing the wedding they would all be attending the following week. Eliana and Anneya were both being bridesmaids and to say they were excited was putting it mildly. Eliana still remembered being a bridesmaid at her Aunty Amanda's wedding, but for Anneya that was, if anything, a fleeting memory, this time though she was definitely going to take it all in and have lots of fun as well. It was clear to everyone concerned that both Alex and Shannon were enjoying their moments all the more because of the enthusiasm of their two little helpers.

Seeing Rae, Jo began to think back, remembering how she and Steve had sat with her in the courtroom as the verdict on Nicholas Large was announced.

_The trial hadn't been as long as it would have been had Large not pleaded guilty to most of the charges. The only things to be debated were whether he was guilty of attempting to murder Rae, and whether, when he committed his killings, he was, at that moment in time, insane and unable to recognize the illegality of his actions._

_Two weeks after Rae had given evidence, and a week after her relaxing vacation with Jesse, she had been back in the courtroom, sitting between her husband on one side and her best friend the other. She held hands with both of them, and Jo had been able to feel the slight trembling that Rae was unable to keep under control._

_"Are you ok, Honey?"_

_"What? Oh, yes … I fine." She had smiled, seeming a little calmer just from being able to speak. "A little … con … he go jail anyway, but …" the smile had dimmed, and Jo had understood immediately what she meant._

_"But, you want him to be convicted on all counts, because that means he'll be payin' for what he did to you."_

_"Yes … is wrong?" Rae, who, Jo knew, didn't carry a grudge, looked guilty herself as she finished speaking._

_"No, of course not, it's only natural. Oh, shhh!" Steve had touched her arm gently as the judge and the jury, as well as the defendant, in Dominic mode, according to her husband who had mentioned it to her later, had entered the courtroom as she and Rae were speaking quietly together. There was a chain around his waist and his hands were joined to it by manacles. He had glared around the courthouse, as if knowing that it would be one of his last chances to threaten or scare anyone. Pulling at his restraints and trying, unsuccessfully, to make eye contact with someone, he scanned the room until he got to Rae, she had stared back at him, not at all intimidated, and in the end it had been he who had looked away._

_Once the formalities had been dispensed with the court became hushed as the foreman stood and all eyes were focussed on him._

_"The Superior Court of the State of California for the county of Los Angeles, North Hollywood division, the people of California plaintiff vs., Nicholas Large, defendant. Count one, attempted murder of a police officer, Detective Sergeant Reagan Yeager; we the jury in the above entitled case find the defendant guilty …"_

_None of them heard the rest of the words spoken. Rae had slumped back in her seat, relief written all over her face, Jesse let out a sigh, which seemed to come from the depths of his soul, while Steve just held his wife's hand a little tighter than usual._

_Although the foreman also announced that the jury had decided Nicholas was quite aware of his actions, and the affects they would have, in a way it was secondary to the first statement made by the jurors. The Red Rose Killer would go to jail, not to a secure unit where he stood the chance of being released one day, but to a prison, where he would await sentencing, and once that had been done he would be transferred to San Francisco for trial there, and possibly even extradited to other states where he had committed what had now been agreed was premeditated murder._

_The verdict had been a welcome one, but there had been no celebration, it was instead treated as the closing of one of the final doors on a period in all their lives which had caused trauma, stress and unnecessary strain on health, futures and relationships, with a fervent hope that none of them would have to go through anything like it ever again._

Now, with the sentence passed as well, the jury deciding that Nicholas Large should be executed for his crimes, they could turn their attention to more pleasant things, and today was the first of what would hopefully be many relaxed and enjoyable occasions for them all to share together.

There was a banging of a gavel on its rest beside her and Jo turned, suddenly scared and excited at the same time, and she felt tears threaten her before she resolutely pushed them away.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to welcome you all here today," and it was obvious from Mark's voice and demeanour that he meant every word, "to announce a very special new scheme, which should make the lives of one group of our extraordinary patients and their relatives a little easier.

"As you know, my son, Steve, and his wife, Jo, have had more chances than many lately to be grateful for the services we offer."

There had been a small ripple of laughter from the assembled audience of both friends and members of the press, and he had paused for a moment, before continuing.

"My eldest grandson, Daniel," again there was a pause, this time as a very proud grandpa looked into the eyes of the young man seated a little further along the table from where he was standing, "had cause to thank the excellent doctors in our ER and OR when he was injured recently, and I know his family, myself included, will be forever indebted to them for all they did."

Daniel, although looking a little uncomfortable and definitely a little flushed, nodded his head in agreement as a barrage of cameras clicked and flashed in his direction.

"Also this year, the staff and facilities of our NICU played a pivotal role in all our lives when my youngest grandson was born almost an entire trimester early. He too is here today, a living testament to the treatment, love and expertise that the members of our staff who work in all areas of maternity and post natal care provide so willingly."

Jo, watching the audience as she listened, saw Belinda standing with Diane, and smiled. The two women had helped keep her son alive, and she would never ever forget that, or them.

"Jayden is now twelve months old, a happy bouncing baby boy who is not only the apple of his father's eye, but his mom's pride and joy, and already has the ability to wind his grandpa around his little finger, although I expect he learnt that trick from his elder brother."

Again there was laughter; this was, after all a relaxed and joyful occasion, there was no need for solemnity, at least not yet.

"We know that Jayden's life hung in the balance for a long while, and though we were luckier than some in that his progress almost followed the textbooks exactly, as you would expect from a doctor's grandchild of course, he still wouldn't be here if it weren't for the treatment he received. So today we are announcing a special scheme, or at least one of us is, and now I have to stop talking, because that one isn't me." The laughter travelled around the room once more, as Mark made a face that was supposed to represent his distress at sitting down, but only served to remind everyone just how much he was enjoying himself. "So please, welcome, along with me, my daughter-in-law, Jo Sloan."

The applause, although not going to remove the roof was loud and long as it travelled around the room, from those who knew of her right through to those who loved her dearly and, standing up and waiting for the microphone to be moved in front of her, Jo found it difficult not to beam in all directions.

"Thank you, Mark, an' thank you everyone for comin' here today to help me launch a programme which is very dear to me, an', I must admit has given me great pleasure to work out an' oversee to this stage in its life.

"As Mark said, our son Jayden was born way too early, the fact that he is here today, an' he is here, fast asleep, but here, had nothin' at all to do with me an' that was very hard to take, very hard indeed." She looked over to where Jayden was seated, blissfully unaware of the world around him, peacefully snoozing in his stroller, and smiled lovingly.

"When he was born I thought my world would end, I couldn't do anythin' for him, machines were keepin' him alive, an' I felt helpless an' alone, even with the love an' encouragement of my family an' friends.

"I was lucky in that I had a friend who had given birth early herself, an' her little girl is my god-daughter, so I knew there was a good chance of a positive outcome for my son. Others aren't as lucky as I am, some young mothers, some not so young mothers, have to go through this experience alone.

"That isn't to say the hospital doesn't provide pastoral care, it does, but at the end of your visit, when you have arrived home, when the front door closes behind you, some people are totally alone.

"When I got the chance to go home, when my need for hospital care was over, Jayden couldn't come with me, an' even with a husband by my side, another chil' who means the world to us waitin' for me, that loneliness was almost overwhelmin'.

"I was helped by a lady called Kathy." Jo looked over to where the young woman was sitting and smiled. It had been her gift that had turned vague wishes into concrete ideas, and she was very grateful to her. "Kathy gave me a bear, a teddy bear, somethin' to cuddle as I went home, accompanied by my family but, for all intents an' purposes, alone. I still have my bear, in fact he is here, right here with me today as well." Jo held up the now slightly battered teddy and smiled, "He doesn't say much, he's a little shy.

"I want to help those women, an' sometimes men, who are left alone, or who, for whatever reason, be it language limitations, financial restrictions, or just plain nervousness, don't get the support an' information they need. To that end, we are announcin' today the formation of the Jayden Club. Any mom-to-be, or father-to-be, can join, because no one knows who will have a premature baby. If your baby is born after the full nine months then the main focus of the club for these families will be a place to talk about problems such as post partum depression, gettin' the help you need to raise your chil' if your financial situation is such that you are havin' trouble makin' ends meet, that type of thin'. If your chil' is born early, then that is where we will really be able to help.

"There will be a full time counsellor on staff at Community General, experienced in the problems that havin' a baby early can bring. A library will be set up containin' all the latest literature on research into early births an' the technology needed to keep them alive. This library will have the finances behind it to keep its shelves stocked with the latest books, but it will also produce pamphlets an' brochures that can be taken away, as well as havin' computers that can access the internet to bring all the sites an' their information to your fingertips in an environment where you can ask, an' have answered, any questions you can't find the solutions to.

"There will also be a fund set aside to pay for two NICU nurses on a full time basis so there is never a situation where cuts in public spendin' means that these children don't get the care they need, the moment they need it. And finally, the scheme that Kathy set up, givin' teddy bears to moms of preemies as well as a listenin' ear will, with her blessin', be made available to everyone in that situation, an' a fund to train women an' men willin' to help counsel an' support these new parents will ensure that no one is ever alone if they don't want to be.

"I know I am extremely fortunate, because my story has a happy endin', that isn't always the case, an' the counsellor I mentioned earlier will also be a bereavement specialist, so that those parents who never get to take their chil' home, will be helped to understand what happened an' why, as well as bein' shown ways to try to carry on with their lives.

"The Jayden Club will have a board of trustees; some givin' their services for free, the others paid only a small stipend so as not to divert any of the money that has more important work to do. My father-in-law, Doctor Mark Sloan, has generously agreed to be the first chairman; the other board members will be myself an' my husband, Police Captain Steve Sloan, as well as Doctor Tabitha Isherwood, an' NICU nurse Belinda Kelly. There will also be two extra places, available to moms or dads who have had a premature child, held for a year each, that way we will continue to be confident we are addressin' the problems or difficulties that we should be. An independent accountant, who has no connection to either this hospital or my family, will also be appointed, but that is still bein' arranged.

"My son is alive today because of the treatment he received here. In many ways all the money I have made no difference to that, but my time as a nervous, worried, grievin', mother, an' you do grieve, for the baby you have, an' the one you didn't have, has made me realise my money can help in ways other money can't because it is always diverted to somethin' more urgent, somethin' more pressin', but that isn't gonna happen here.

"When you are in the position that Steve an' I found ourselves, your worries are the most urgent, the most pressin' thin's in the world, I hope what we are startin' today will help to lessen those worries, relieve the stress a little, an' keep families more informed an' less removed from their situation. Thank you."

The applause as she sat down was sweet to her ears, and the feeling of Steve's hand as he grasped hers made her feel warm and complete. Looking around, nodding her head a little in acknowledgement of those doing the clapping, she could see that some had tears in their eyes, while others, Rae included, were smiling brightly and encouraging her all the way to her goal.

ooo

He had made sure that his bedroom door was securely fastened before sitting down on his bed and looking at the book in his hands. His grandfather had come over for dinner, so had Michael and even Maddie. Jayden had been there too, fast asleep, a pacifier moving occasionally between his lips as he stirred slightly. Rae and Jesse had called by later, as had Alex and Shannon, only three days away from their wedding. It was only a couple of days since they had all gathered together at Community General, but tonight his friends and family had come together again for him, special people all of them, special people to help him celebrate his own special occasion.

M had cooked the meal, meatloaf, salad and fries with apple pie for dessert. Juan had smiled when he had tried to apologise, saying that everyone had their favourite meals cooked by certain people, and not to tell anyone, but his own father made far better burritos than his mother.

Daniel hadn't known why there was a special dinner but he wasn't going to turn down the chance to eat M's food in his own home once again and he had tucked in along with everyone else until there was nothing left and they were all sitting around feeling very satisfied with themselves, each other and life in general. His grandpa had stood up and looked down at him. He had asked him to stand as well and then, the atmosphere suddenly full of a pleasant tension, had handed him a large package. The paper had been gold, a neutral wrapping he realised later, one to show that it wasn't a birthday, Christmas or any other usual celebration, but one that was unique to him.

_"Daniel," his grandpa had said, "a lot has happened lately, but a while ago you mentioned to your dad that you didn't have any pictures of your past, that there were so many things you didn't know but wished you did. _

_"Well, you shouldn't say something like that to a cop, especially a cop who is a Sloan! You remember the note that you left on my desk?"_

_"Yes, Sir, I do. Well, I do now, I guess with everything else that has gone on I sort of forgot it. Is this what this is? My past?" He had looked at the older man before him, and then at the faces of those he loved as they sat around the table. His mom and dad, two people who hadn't had a say in most of his past, but most definitely had a say in his future, Maddie, his best friend, maybe more, who knew what would happen when school was over and he could look forwards? M, the man who had always been there for him, had been a quiet but solid force in the background of his life since the first day he had arrived in Beverly Hills, and was now his uncle. If they were all here then they must have had a hand in what was in the gift and looking once more at his grandfather he placed the box on the table and began to rip at the wrapping._

_The book, covered in a sort of Hessian had been a deep cream colour. On the front, in a small square in the middle, was a picture of him, but it was a picture he had never seen before. He must have been about five when it was taken, smiling a gappy smile to a school photographer, a glimpse of an alphabet frieze behind his head giving away the location._

_"There are pictures of you younger than that, but we thought you might not recognize yourself." Grandpa Mark had spoken and then, unable to contain himself, had leant across and opened the book to the first page but pointed, just for a moment, at the original note that had started everything, which was attached to the inside of the cover._

_Dragging his eyes from that Daniel found, right there in front of him, a copy of his original birth certificate, his mom and dad's names, their old address, date of arrival, weight, everything, and then, underneath that was another copy, this time of his adoption certificate, the piece of paper that told the world he was a Sloan. Together though, the two pieces of paper told another story, they told the story of a young man for whom life had begun with high hopes, had faded, become a struggle, and then, out of that struggle had turned into the most wonderful thing anyone could ever imagine. Looking up and finding his voice he spoke._

_"I don't need to see the rest, that is enough, right there is who I am, who I was and who I have become." There were tears in his eyes, boys his age didn't cry, but right now he felt that he could cry forever._

Daniel stopped thinking. The memories were wonderful, but he still felt emotional and, deciding that he would feel far better in the morning, he put the book to one side. It was his now, a record of his past that no one could take from him, and he could look at it in the morning because, just as every morning from now on, it would still be here as a part of his future.

ooo

Mark had retired to the morning room for a few minutes alone. He had spoken quietly to Steve and knew he wouldn't be interrupted. The evening had gone so well, far better than he thought it would. While he had been compiling the book he had been so excited, anticipating with each new page what Daniel would think about his gift, but then, as the day to hand it over had got closer and closer he had become a little scared. Supposing the boy didn't want to see his past any longer. The time since he had mentioned it had been so traumatic for all of them, so fraught with danger and disaster that he wouldn't be at all surprised if looking back was something that none of them did for a while.

The look on Daniel's face when he had realised what was being handed to him though dispersed all his fears, instead his heart had beat loudly in his chest and he had watched, enthralled as the young man looked at the picture on the front and then at the certificates on the first page.

Mark knew there would be many special moments over the next few days as Daniel read through all the book contained; found the messages from people in his past he hadn't been in touch with for a very long time. Saw pictures which gave a sense of identity to the boy who had only begun to see a record of himself kept when he raided a small store with his cousin.

Cheryl had found some of the information, had been in touch with various record keeping organizations and obtained photos of his mom that Mark knew Daniel didn't have. His dad, no longer in LA from what he could ascertain, was also mentioned, with photos from a family gathering kept by an old aunt as well as a letter asking Daniel to contact her.

Being a doctor he had been able to look back in the records and find out where his grandson had been born. Record keeping had been a little different seventeen years earlier but he had still been able to obtain the address of a company who took pictures of babies before they went home. As luck would have it the photographer was a man after Mark's own heart and never threw anything away. In the back of a filing cabinet, which was itself in the back of a storage room, they had found what they were looking for. Mark and Joseph, the photographer, looked at a set of photos, taken but never claimed, of baby 129496 Daniel Upton. They weren't in very good condition, but the computer age had come into its own and now you would never know that Daniel's baby photos were any older than Jayden's. Jo had framed one of the resulting pictures and Mark knew that by the morning both boys would be on display in this very room, because she had been desperate to put Daniel's photo out since the day she got it.

Also in the book were letters from old school friends. When Mark had begun calling Daniel's previous schools two of the principals he had spoken to had been delighted to hear from him. Both had explained that when Daniel had been shot ex-students who recognized his picture had been in contact, asking if there was any way that they could give out a home address for him. It had later transpired that three cards had been sent to Community General but, as they were addressed to Daniel Upton, had never reached their intended recipient.

Knowing the book would become a treasured possession, or hoping it would, Mark had also asked Daniel's present family and friends to write letters to put inside it, and one of his favourites was from Eliana.

The little girl, now almost six years old and most definitely besotted by his grandson, had sat down with her mommy and Rae had asked her questions about Daniel. In the end a short page of notes had been produced which said,

_'Daniel is my friend. He takes me for burgers when Miss Vicki is with her boyfriend.'_

Rae had written underneath that her daughter had shaken her curls and looked quite disgusted at the thought that her nanny had a boyfriend.

_'Daniel has a poorly shoulder and we aren't allowed to touch it._

_He plays twister with me and Maddie and I win a lot._

_Daniel can drink milkshake through a straw and make it come out of his nose!'_

Here Rae had written 'ewww', and then 'please don't teach Ana how to do this.'

At the bottom of the page had been a picture of Eliana with Daniel and row after row of kisses. With a chuckle Mark wondered how Daniel would feel if that was read out at his wedding.

There was a tap at the door and Mark, still enjoying the moment, looked round to see his son coming into the room.

"Hi."

"Hi, Dad, is it ok if I come in? I know you said you wanted a few minutes to yourself, but, well, I could use your company if you don't mind." Steve looked a little uncertain, but relaxed as he saw his father was smiling.

"Of course I don't mind, I was just going over the way Daniel seemed so pleased with his book."

"He did, didn't he? Thank you for doing that, you and Cheryl, I know she helped out too."

"She did, and enjoyed it I might add. He's a good kid, Steve, and he has a great dad. I hope you know that."

Steve looked a little embarrassed for a moment but Mark could see the delight in his son's eyes. "I'm just trying to remember what you did and adapt it to the situations I find myself in. Somehow though I think I was a bit more of a worry than Daniel has been."

"Oh yeah, I would say so. Has your son climbed out of his bedroom window and headed into town yet?" He saw Steve shake his head, "No? Well then, he is way behind you on that one!"

"You always knew, didn't you? It took me years to figure that I wasn't lucky when you checked on me a couple of minutes after I was in bed; I was being given just enough time to get myself comfy. I guess you knew when I left and when I got back."

"If I didn't your mother always did. Sometimes we even knew where you went. We trusted you, Son, you were sensible, had no intention of drinking and then driving home, and it didn't happen that often but yes, I always knew when you got in, and yes, I let you get into bed and then I would come check on you. Your mother slept better that way, and to be honest so did I."

"Thanks, Dad." Steve moved a little closer. One thing the past year had taught him was there may not be a tomorrow to tell someone how much they meant to you, or to say sorry, or just give them a hug and so, to his dad's delighted surprise, he pulled Mark towards him and held him tight.

"I love you, Dad; you gave me the best start in life, you and Mom, that any child could ask for. If I am half as successful with my own children I will consider myself an unqualified success. Thank you."

"You are very welcome." His voice was gruff, and Mark moved across to the window, looking out at the city below him but thinking about what had just happened. He felt and then saw his son behind him, the reflection showing both of them just how alike they were, as well as how different, and, neither of them wanting to end the moment, the two men looked at the lights and enjoyed the bond they shared.


	36. Chapter 36

36 **The Future Beckons**

Almost everyone had gone home, Steve and Jo taking a slightly fractious son out to their car as he screamed at the top of his voice, while Rae and Jesse had carried an exhausted bridesmaid each to their vehicle before heading for Beverly Hills themselves. Ron had taken the boys, bored after all their favourite uncles had left them, for a burger and fries as well as promising them a competition on the computer before bed. The beach house was now empty; its only occupants standing out on the deck watching the world go by.

The deep blue California sky seemed to stretch out forever, the sand was almost perfect as it met the ocean and the only sound to be heard was from the occasional seagull as it flew overhead. Mark stood, with Amanda by his side, and surveyed the scene.

"Are you sure you're gonna be alright here on your own? I know that Steve and Jo are worried about you."

"I know they are too, Honey, but I won't be alone for long. Daniel graduates from school this year, and although he'll go to college, he's gonna take a year out, he wants to work in the hospital as an orderly before making a decision about his future. I'll have a new housemate when that happens, and he'll probably work the same shift pattern as me."

"So then I'll have to worry about Steve and Jo instead! Their first child leaving home, they'll find that hard."

Mark nodded his head, "Yes, they will, but they'll get used to it, and it is a sort of soft leaving, him coming here, an' all." The smile became a little wider as he contemplated the changes to come before continuing to speak. "I think I'll be seeing quite a bit of Maddie too, they've spent a lot of time together since his accident."

"You know my door, Steve's and Jesse's are all open to you whenever you need it don't you?"

"Oh yes, Sweetie, I do know that, and it's a wonderful feeling to be able to call on any or all of you should I need to."

They became silent for a while again then, both of them going over memories which had been created on the deck they stood on. Finally, after her eyes had followed a lone runner as he made his way along the firm wet sand by the ocean's edge until he disappeared from sight, Amanda turned with a sigh.

"It was a lovely wedding wasn't it?"

"Oh yeah, they made a beautiful couple. Somehow, until they were all dressed up in their finery today I never really took in the differences in their appearance and how they complimented each other."

"Well, I am impressed, a man noticing things like that!" The cuff she gave her friend was graciously received, and then Mark spoke again.

"He is so blonde, and her hair really is black isn't it?"

"Yes, naturally jet black. I am so glad she didn't choose a white dress, that ivory colour suited her much better, and Eliana and Anneya were just so sweet."

"She is gonna make someone a fine wife herself one day, but heaven help him if he steps out of line!" Mark finished his words with a laugh and both he and Amanda knew he was talking about Rae and Jesse's eldest daughter. Anneya had been content to just look around wide eyed, enjoying herself enormously and letting her big sister be the boss. His favourite moment had been when the little girl, her blonde hair tumbling in waves down her back had spotted her mom and rushed towards her holding out her flowers for Rae to have.

Rae had offered them back to her youngest daughter, but she wouldn't take them, and so, carefully removing one bloom from where it hopefully wouldn't show, she had kissed her soft cheek and then returned the posy and watched happily as Anneya had skipped back to the place where Eliana had told her to stand.

Alex and Shannon had left after a delightful reception to fly off for two weeks in the Dominican Republic. Alex's mom and Shannon's who, until a month earlier had never met, had also gone off together, wanting to get to know each other a little better. To everyone's delight the women had booked two rooms in a downtown hotel for a couple of nights, hoping to cement the friendship that they had tentatively been making.

"Is it tempting fate, do you think, to say that everyone seems happy and content at the moment?" Amanda took Mark's hand into her own as she spoke, suddenly wanting to do at least that if not hug him as well.

"No, I don't think so. Things will come and go that worry or concern us, but overall, we have arrived at places in our lives where we can sit back and realise that whatever happened in the past we've survived, and are stronger for it." He paused, thinking of all his loved ones as he did so. "Steve has a desk job and so the dangerous part of his career is, thankfully, over. Rae, although she has taken a very traumatic route to get there, is really enjoying learning as much as she can about profiling, and, if I'm not mistaken, Ron is enjoying teaching her too."

"Yes, he is, I think he's finding a new side to himself. He told me once that … how did he put it? I know; those who can, work, those who can't, teach." She shook her head, remembering the day he had said it, and then continued, "He wouldn't say that now. In fact I wouldn't be at all surprised if he didn't apply for the courses which will allow him to become an instructor. I would like that, I would like that a lot." The knowledge that Ron didn't have a desk job rested heavy on her beautiful shoulders. Sometimes his work took him away for weeks at a time, no contact being allowed until he turned up on his own doorstep unannounced when the assignment ended. Becoming an instructor would put her mind at rest, and she fervently hoped an opportunity would arise very quickly and if it did, that he would take it.

"I'm thinking of retiring." Mark spoke quietly, revealing a plan that, so far, he had only mentioned to Steve and Jo.

"Mark, why?" Amanda looked truly shocked, and felt the presence of tears behind her eyes.

"Why? Amanda, Honey, none of us are as young as we used to be, especially me. I don't mean that I am gonna give in my letter of resignation tomorrow, I want to be there while Daniel is working in the ER or wherever else he gets put, but when his year is over, then I'll call it quits."

"I think that will be a wonderful time to finish, and it will give us time to plan the party!" Her eyes twinkled as she spoke, and then she leant over and kissed him gently on his cheek. "The place won't be the same without you though."

A breeze blew across them, and Mark saw Amanda shiver a little. "You know, I have film of the wedding inside, how about we get ourselves a nice up of coffee each and relive it a little?"

"That sounds wonderful, thank you."

"In that case, after you, Madam, after you."

Amanda walked back inside the beach house and was embraced by its familiar warmth and friendliness before turning to watch as Mark came in as well, closing and locking the doors behind him and then, arm in arm, they went in search of coffee and a box of Kleenex.

ooo

The cases against Debbie Walters and Wayne McCaulay had been so conclusive that both of them had been found guilty on all counts very quickly. This time, knowing that, finally, all the outstanding business of their lives was over, the Sloans and the Travis's did throw a party.

The staff at Oak Place, Mrs, Cameron and Miss Vicki, had joined forces with Juan and his staff to arrange a barbeque and buffet in the garden of Steve and Jo's house, leaving the ladies of both residences to enjoy the more pleasurable aspects such as guest lists and what to wear.

Steve and Jesse had both arrived home on different nights to the sounds of uproarious laughter coming from the morning or breakfast rooms of their respective homes, and both of them had savoured the sound, realising just how much they had missed it.

Jo, David and Michael had spent a lot of time together trying to reorganize the company so that there was no possibility of anyone defrauding them ever again. The hundreds of thousands of dollars that Debbie had taken was unlikely to be recovered, and although she was, to all intents and purposes, locked up for life and so unable to spend any of it, it still rankled that she had so easily found a way to remove the funds in the first place.

David had been spending more and more time in California, in the end buying himself a property three doors down from the beach house in Malibu, easing both Jo and Steve's minds now that Mark was living there alone. He had also hired a high level manager to work at the main offices in Austin, thus reducing both the responsibility and work hours that he had to undertake.

The actual day of the party had passed in a blur. It seemed that everyone was working flat out, and most of their chores had nothing whatsoever to do with the pleasant evening that they knew lay ahead of them.

Steve had been meeting the press to give out information on a serial rapist that seemed to be targeting his precinct. Rae had drawn up an initial profile of the offender, but he was leaving very few clues to help anyone find him. There had been another attack the night before the conference, which had increased the media interest.

As he was finally able to dismiss those in the room with him Steve caught sight of someone he knew and with a smile waved her over.

"Rachael, hi."

"Captain Sloan. It seems strange to see you in a different setting."

"Do you have time for a coffee? I have my own office now, not one I've borrowed." He smiled and indicated with his hand which way the young reporter should go as he saw her nod.

Once they were sat, a drink in front of each of them, in the easy chairs that Steve had room for in his pleasantly spacious office, they had talked for a while about general things, before he smiled at her and asked one final question.

"So, how are you doing now that Large is behind bars for good?" Rachael Collins had been a great help to both Steve and Rae during the investigation into the Red Rose murders, finding the link between the Los Angeles killings and one in New York, which had opened up new possibilities and answered some of the questions that they had had about Nicholas's past.

Rachael also had a far sadder connection to the case, her sister having been one of the victims killed in San Francisco.

"You know I didn't think it would make that much difference, after all it wasn't gonna bring her back or anything, but I feel, even though he hasn't been tried for her killing yet, that she is already far more at peace than she was. My folks feel that too I think."

"Good, I'm glad. If there is ever anything I can do, let me know." Steve finished the last of his coffee and then smiled, "I'm guessing you have a deadline, so I'll let you go."

"I do, thank you, but before I leave, how is your partner? I saw her give evidence at the trial, she really suffered didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did, but she's doing well. She's made a whole new career for herself in profiling, and despite everything that happened, she's happy and content again now."

"I am delighted to hear it. Maybe someday I'll contact her, do an article on her, profile the profiler, so to speak, if she was interested. Right now though, as you said, I have a deadline to meet. I hope you catch your rapist, Captain Sloan, and thanks for the coffee."

"It's Steve, and you're very welcome."

They shook hands, and then Steve watched as the reporter left his office. There was, he had to agree, a calmness about her now, maybe almost a beginning of acceptance of what had happened to her and her family, and he knew that she would survive, would grow stronger, and that made him feel a whole lot better about her circumstances, and those of the others who had been left behind.

ooo

Rae put her hands behind her head and then stretched her back. She had been working on a case for the FBI for a week, going over the files she'd been sent, studying crime scene photos and gradually building up a picture of the person, a man, she was sure, who had kidnapped a young girl of ten from her school in Northridge. Rae knew that they did their own profiling, this, she had a feeling was a test, to see whether, in an emergency, she could be called upon to help out.

Although she had never actually advertised in the press, Rae had been busy ever since she had completed the relevant courses and felt confident enough to start to profile as a freelance. Not only was she doing work for the LAPD and, right now, the FBI but also for private companies, helping to draw up employment profiles to assist them in recruiting the right person for the right job.

She had to admit to enjoying her new job enormously, some of the cases she was involved in were traumatic, especially those that targeted children, but she knew she was still making a difference, was still helping those who needed it most, and that helped to put the trauma into perspective.

Pausing for a moment to drink some of her coffee, and to check she still had plenty of time to get herself ready for the party that evening, Rae relaxed her shoulders, and then let her mind run back to a day in the hospital when her future plans had come under the microscope and had been discussed with a man she had grown to consider a close friend.

"_I'm sorry, would you rather I came back?" She had seen a shadow cross the threshold of her room, but, sobbing quietly, hadn't looked up until she recognized the voice._

"_No … is ok." She tried to staunch the flow of tears and, being marginally successful, tried a smile as well._

_Although it was over two weeks since her operation it was only the second morning that she had been alone. The first one had been fine, she had enjoyed it, but now, today, it wasn't fine, it was lonely, it sat heavily on her, and she could do nothing but cry._

"_Well, I don't think it is ok, but I'll come in anyway." He had watched her, she could feel his eyes on her, as he made his way to the seat next to the bed, and then just as she thought she might be recovering enough for the tears to stop he spoke again._

"_Rae, what is it?" His tone was soft, one she had never heard from him before, and the floodgates opened, her shoulders heaved, and she tried to turn away as she felt his hands, one on each arm pull her towards him._

_His grasp was stiff, awkward, as if he didn't really know how he had gotten into the position he found himself in, but still he didn't release her and, suddenly glad that it wasn't Jesse, Steve, or even Alex who was with her, but someone she could open her heart to without causing them extra distress, she let her tears flow as never before._

_She had no idea how long she cried for, just that he had never once relaxed his grip on her nor said a word, but had let her release the pent up emotions and tensions until she felt able to gulp the final sobs out and then rub clumsily at her eyes._

"_Let me." He handed her a tissue and she pressed it against her face, not terribly accurately it had to be said, but the tears were blotted up and then she smiled._

"_You want … come in 'gain?"_

"_No, I think maybe I came in at just the right time."_

"_Yes, Rae think so too."_

"_I am sorry that I wasn't able to visit you sooner after your operation. How are you dealing with the changes that it has caused?" There was uncertainty on his face and the way he voiced his question, and Rae knew that she was putting the man in an awkward position by showing her emotions in this way._

"_Is just coming to terms."_ _There was no need to say anything else, and so she leant back against the pillows, hoping that he understood in the way she thought he would._

"_Of course, of course, and it is a lot to come to terms with. Rae, it's easy for us to tell you to take one day at a time, after all, it is all any of us can do, but you can't deal with everything at once, you really do have to take it slowly."_

"_But even … even though right dec … dec …ision, I look and it gone … I miss it."_

_She could feel the tears again, just as she had all day so far, but now she was able to swallow them down, they weren't as pressing as they had been._

"_Yes, and you will imagine it is there for a while I would think."_

"_Maybe, I hope not but … it too soon … I not know."_

"_Have you eliminated the pain that you were under before you had this done?"_

"_Yes … it going. Look …" She had pointed to where her medication chart was resting. "Pain relief low … that good."_

"_Yes, it is, but if you require it ask for it, and don't make yourself out to be super human; you have to let your mind heal as well as your body. If you need to cry like you did today then let it out, don't keep it in. It took me too long to allow myself to do that, don't let yourself be that way."_

_The bond between them, so strong, forged out of friendship, out of a secret shared, out of an admiration one for the other, reasserted itself and Rae nodded._

"_You have new life … new son, grandson, I have new life too … I just have to …" she had thought then, the word was right there, in her mind, but it wouldn't make the journey to her lips, but finally she grabbed it. "adapt." _

"_Well, my new life is going just fine, and I have no doubt that yours will be too, in a while."_

_She had nodded, what he said was true, she could see the happiness in his eyes when he was with her, when he could relax and let someone else in and discuss his family, even just a little. She too would change, would work her life around how she was, and it would work out as he said, just fine._

_The table that Rae worked on was over the bed, and on it were two files. Over the last few days she had been reading through the notes that Ron had left for her, knowing he was testing her powers of observation and understanding as well as keeping her from going stir crazy._

"_You look like you're busy, I'm glad to see that." Rae had a feeling that he was also pleased to be able to move onto a safer subject._

"_Thank you." Rae knew the information that Ron had left her wasn't at all confidential. In fact it was notes that he himself had written using personality traits and crime scene details of various killers and other serial criminals to paint verbal scenarios for her to sketch a report from and so she opened the first file and turned it to face her boss._

_The Chief began to read the set of circumstances that had been placed in front of him. Rae had learnt later that he recognized some of the particulars, but had known she probably wouldn't. There was just enough information to get her interest piqued and when he had finished reading he smiled, just slightly, and then spoke._

"_I see, and I imagine that Agent Wagner has provided you with this. What do you intend to do with it?"_

"_I … I profile." She was suddenly unsure, what if he laughed, or ridiculed her suggestion? Maybe he would think she could no longer do any job in law enforcement, and her concerns began to make her feel doubtful._

"_I see. I know you were interested in that type of work when you were in homicide. In fact you did consult with the FBI and Agent Wagner in particular, to help you with the Red Rose case, didn't you?"_

"_Yes … Sir … he was … it was … close."_

"_You obviously feel that this is a good way to help solve crimes." The Chief, Rae knew, wasn't convinced; it took concrete evidence to persuade the head of the LAPD of the truth in anything, she had learnt that during her time working with him, and so she tried, slowly, to explain her feelings._

"_I think … useful … can help … not find killer … rapist but … eli … minate … innocent."_

"_Yes, yes, I see. So you are saying that by having a profile we could direct our manpower towards a more realistic or specific group of people?"_

"_Yes." Her face had lit up, she could feel herself smiling broadly and then the smile was reflected back on John Masters' face._

"_I think it is an excellent career move for you, Rae, and I wish you every success with it."_

"_Thank you." For a minute or two the room was filled with silence as the Chief read the second set of information, but as he closed the file Rae was suddenly conscious of the fact that the discussion between them, although definitely helpful to her, had become somewhat stilted, and before she even realised what she was doing she reached forward and took John Masters' hand into her own._

"_Thank you."_

"_For what, Detective?"_ _She had felt him try to pull away, but then relax and leave his hand where it was._

"_You 'portant … you busy._ _Still visit with me … you good friend. Thank you." _

_This time the hand had been pulled away as the Chief stood up. Rae knew that she had probably embarrassed the man, but she'd needed to say it, still needed to say more._

"_Sir … you need friends … every one needs … I here … always." She had busied herself immediately with the files, carefully, if a little clumsily, putting everything back into its place, and when she looked up again she could see that Masters had moved closer to her again._

"_Yes, well, I need to be going, but …" He had paused, and Rae had seen the indecision in his eyes before he spoke. "Rae, I would like to visit again. I … I appreciate your words, thank you."_

_She'd wished she could hug him, maybe get him to unbend a little, but knew, realistically that it would never happen, and so, instead, she had smiled and nodded. "I would like too … and home, when I home … you visit."_

To her surprise, the Chief had visited with her at home on a number of occasions, and they had enjoyed their time together. She still called him Sir, and probably always would do, but that didn't matter, what did matter was that he had confided in her on a number of occasions and asked her advice. She knew now that he truly saw her as a friend, and that was a very nice feeling, a very nice feeling indeed.

ooo

Jesse finally dropped his soiled scrubs into the laundry bin and headed for the showers. It had been a busy day, but most of his days were. Mark had told him of his decision to retire in roughly a year's time, and Jesse knew that the hospital would be a less pleasant place without Mark Sloan in it.

It would still be his place though, and as he let the water pummel his tired muscles he realised that whatever his parents had thought of him, of his potential for the future he was just how and where he wanted to be.

That thought made him feel positive, at peace with himself, and hurrying to towel himself dry he dressed so that he could return to his wife and family, and the pleasantness that the evening would provide.

ooo

"I'm not sayin' that she should have gotten the death penalty, I'm just sayin' that it wouldn't have mattered which state she was tried in, the means of carryin' it out is the same." David, deep in conversation with Ron Wagner, was animated as he spoke.

"Any feelin's that I had for the woman are long gone, my only concern now is how I will tell all of this to our daughter when she is old enough to ask where her momma is."

The little girl, a small, blonde, imitation of her mother, was playing happily in the playhouse that Jo had had constructed in the back yard. The fact that, to Damita, and Anneya who was playing with her, it was almost the size of a proper home wasn't lost on either girl, and they were deep into a game of house.

"I don't have an answer for that one; I would guess that no one really does. Speak to a counsellor before you tell her anything, because it will be traumatic for her."

"Yeah, I'll do that, an' I will find me a child therapist as well in case she needs it. But I think I have a few years to do all of those thin's."

"Me too, can I get you another beer?" The tall FBI agent could see that his companion, who was even taller than he was, had an empty glass, and so together they headed back towards the bar, smiling at the young woman serving there as they did so.

ooo

Jo and Rae had found themselves a nice quiet spot to sit and relax. They were still able to keep an eye on their respective children but they could also chat, and enjoy each other's company.

"I thought this new job of yours was supposed to mean we could spend more time together." Jo tried to look hurt, but it was obvious that she was delighted Rae was busy.

"It was … it not work that way ... I turn down job today … not want it take over … but it … it good … it in … inter … testing." She pulled a face, knowing that she had messed up a word, and was grateful when Jo carried on as if it hadn't happened.

"I never used it when I was a cop, but I can see its uses, an' I am glad you are enjoyin' it."

Carefully Rae picked up her glass and drank from it. It wasn't actually glass, she had asked for a plastic container so that she didn't break anything. The mug collection at Oak Place had gotten smaller by the day since she had been home, and she had even considered drinking her coffee through a straw.

Looking up she saw Jo smiling and turned to see their husbands sitting with Mark and

Amanda, talking and enjoying each other's company. She smiled too, wondering fleetingly what they were discussing, but not needing to go and find out.

Eliana was sitting just a little way away from her mom, she had a box of blocks in front of her and was happily playing with Jayden, showing him how to rest each block on top of another. She was very often to be found helping him with his walking, drawing pictures or, as she was now, just playing his type of games with him. The nanny always kept a close eye, but it was clear that the little girl adored Jayden and wanted to spend time with him. Both moms had discussed the possibility of a wedding one day before laughing aloud at their all too vivid and silly imaginations.

It was clear though that there was a definite bond between them, as well as between Eliana and Daniel, and both Rae and Jo knew that the next generation of Travis's and Sloans would be close friends too. That knowledge was a great comfort to them, and gave them hope for the future of both families.

"So, weddin' bells?" Jo asked with a smile.

"Not know … they go into house building though!"

"Sloans Homes", it has a certain rin' to it." Laughing Jo picked up the digital camera from the table next to her and began to take some pictures. All the memories they were making now were happy ones, and that was the way she wanted it to stay.

ooo

As a Walters' social gathering Steve knew it was a pretty small affair. Alex and Shannon were chatting with Cheryl and Martin, the children were playing with various toys around the place, Daniel and Maddie had stayed for a while, but had left a little over an hour earlier promising to return if their other party was a dud.

Ron and David who had been chatting for almost the entire time they had been in the garden were now talking with Michael, who, Steve knew, had cast an expert eye over the food, staff and service more than once.

Jo and Rae, finally able to enjoy the time together that both had looked forward too when the Travis's had moved into Oak Place, were sitting on the rug with Eliana and Jayden playing bricks. It had taken Rae a while to get down onto the ground, and he could see that her brick stacking abilities weren't that much better than his son's, but she was enjoying herself, and that filled his heart with love and admiration for her.

"Hey!" Jesse blew across in front of his face, "I'll give you a penny for them."

"Actually for once they're worth far more than that." He looked around at the three people sitting with them. "We've come a long way, haven't we?"

Mark understood immediately what he was saying and nodded his head. "Yes, we have. It's been hard sometimes, when people you love are hurt or hurting it's never easy, but look around you, I think it has all been worth it."

"Oh yeah." For a moment he paused, thinking something through before sharing his thoughts. "I guess it all started the day I met Rae in Masters' office. Jesse asked her on a date that same night, and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Some small countries don't have a history as turbulent as we do!" Jesse shook his head and heard Steve laugh.

"Would you change any of it? I know the injuries, the pain, no one wants any of that, but in the end even though we're all different than we were then, I think we're more fulfilled as well."

Amanda let her eyes travel to where Ron was standing as she listened to Steve, and, as if knowing that he was being looked at, and by whom, he turned and smiled at her.

"No, I wouldn't change it. I have a beautiful wife, two wonderful daughters, a job I love and my friends around me at work and at home. No man could want for more." The words, spoken with feeling, showed those who sat with him, and had loved him the longest, just how content Jesse was with his life and, as if warming to the theme, Amanda then spoke.

"Well, I don't have any more children than I did when Rae first arrived, but I have a husband, a wonderful marriage and, to quote Jesse, 'a job I love and my friends around me at work and at home.' Although not quite as close as he does. I wouldn't change anything, well, anything that didn't hurt at any rate."

"It's a lucky man, or woman, who knows when he is content, or maybe that should be a wise man or woman. All the problems we've encountered have been because of men and women who couldn't be satisfied with their lot in life. They had to kill or maim to make things better in their eyes, it didn't work for any of them, but it does teach us all a lesson." Mark was speaking seriously, needing to get his point across, that what they had now had been earnt, that the pain and suffering had been payment, willingly given, to improve the lives of others, known and unknown.

"None of us can see what is coming and I thank God for that. We can be sure though that all of us, through thick and thin, will be here for each other, and that is more important than anything money or power can give us."

Steve had nodded and then placed his hand over that of his father. The open show of affection wouldn't have been possible even a few months ago, but here, in his own back yard, with only his friends and family around him he felt comfortable showing just how much he loved his dad.

After a few moments Steve carefully stood up, and moved across to where he could see Juan filling some flutes with champagne. He waited patiently, with his wife now at his side, as the small catering staff handed a drink to each of their guests before gently tapping his own glass with a spoon and watching as the noise floated across the Beverly Hills evening air and caught everyone's attention.

"It's a beautiful night, but somehow it wouldn't really matter if it was raining, snowing, even blowing a force nine gale. Nothing could take away from the fact that tonight, finally, we can all get together to celebrate."

He looked around, at Alex and Shannon, Ron and Amanda, David with his daughter holding his hand, and that of her Uncle Michael, at Cheryl and Martin, and saw that his friend, smiling broadly, was wearing the diamond engagement ring that he knew had been bought just two days earlier. Martin had been so excited with his news that he had called Jo and Rae to tell them, before he had even asked Cheryl. None of them had been in anydoubt that their friend would accept though, she lovedhim with all her heart.

Steve felt Jo move closer to him and take his hand into her own, saw Jesse with his arm around a now standing Rae, with Eliana and Anneya 'talking' animatedly just beside them. Then as he smiled, Jayden, his legs now stocky and firm, made his way, just a little shakily, towards him and he swooped down and swung him up into the air, the cry of glee breaking the silence and causing every one to smile before he finished the arc and placed him back on the grass in front of him. As his eyes looked further round he saw Daniel and Maddie come back into the garden making his family complete, and then, as his eyes locked with those of his father, he knew the celebration would go on, every day, in little ways in each of their lives for as long as they all lived.

There was so much that he could say, but he didn't, instead, lifting his glass just slightly, he smiled and then spoke, "It's been a rough ride, interesting, but rough, we made it through, all of us. So please, raise your glasses as we look forward together. To the future."

Glasses were raised, eyes and smiles were bright as just two words echoed off into the night, and all of them felt a sense of friendship and belonging they knew would never end.

"The future."

The End.

A/N. That is the end of a long journey, one which has taken me from tentatively writing a few chapters in _Suffer Little Children,_ to completing stories with over fifty chapters in _The Long Walk Home_. Rae Yeager has opened up a new world to me, along with those characters we all love to read and write about. As I say goodbye to her I am embarking on a new venture, trying to write original fiction with only my own characters. I know however, that I will be escaping back to Steve, Mark, Jesse and Amanda from time to time, how could I not?

I have gained special friends as I have written my stories. Two ladies have beta read for me almost from the very beginning, they know who they are, and I hope also know that I couldn't have done this without them. Two other equally special friends, gained a little later, added a different perspective to my writing, seeing things from different angles, helping me, I hope, to become better at this fanfiction thing we do.

Rae is now disappearing into the mist, it is hard to say leave her, but it is the right thing to do. I have had some fantastic reviews on my stories about her and I would like to thank all of you who have stuck with me, even for a few chapters, it has been a wonderful experience and I have enjoyed every part of it.

Tracy


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